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The 10 Best Things About the New Star Trek

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 May 2009 18:58:00 GMT

Haven't seen the new Star Trek yet? You are not alone... in the universe! Ha... is joke.

Seriously, this might end up being the first film in ages to actually draw in significant repeat business-- Trekkies are over the moon, film buffs are racing at warp speed to get home and blog, and we've run out of bad puns already. In other words, don't be left out this weekend...

10. This could be the Star Trek film that breaks the Oscar curse. The series is 0 for 10, mainly in sound and effects categories, and has never been nominated in a category bigger than cinematography. But we would not be surprised, given the quality of movies released this year, that Star Trek pics up nods in screenplay, effects, and even acting categories. You heard it here first.

9. Leonard Nimoy's cameo gives the movie great dramatic weight-- unlike 99.9% of all prequel cameos. Most of the time, when you bring back the star of a film's previous series, it results in mockery and cinematic travesty. For example, Sean Connery's return as James Bond nearly ruined the series, even more so than the casting of Timothy Dalton. Thankfully, this Star Trek is more, say, Diamonds Are Forever than Never Say Never Again.

8. It finally launched little known film director J.J. Abrams's career. Abrams, you probably didn't know, has spent years slumming it as the #1 producer of network television.

7. If this guy hates it, it must be good. The self-described Trekkie fails to see what's great about the movie-- it's Star Trek without all the hokey sci-fi goofing around that turned off so many casual viewers.

6. It makes us want to go watch the first four movies again. (Although, of course, nothing can make us want to watch any of the others.) That's the big difference with this and the Star Wars prequels-- it actually belongs in the series canon.

5. Because J.J. chose quality over a gimmick. Bill Shatner has made no bones (no pun intended) about his disdain for the filmmakers. We see his point-- Nimoy gets a huge supporting role, while Shatner doesn't even merit a walk-on. But Abrams & co. were right to leave that rumored cameo unfilmed-- the scene that would kind-of work, initially slated to follow the climax, could easily have stalled the movie's dramatic momentum and might have sent people out of the theater shaking their heads at the inappropriate side-tracking. Abrams made the very wise decision to not risk the movie's tension-- and it was clearly the right decision.

4. Because it will launch the career of a great young actor, Chris Pine. When we first saw trailers for the film, we kept saying, "Man, the new Kirk looks like a poor man's Ryan Reynolds." And saying someone is anything like Ryan Reynolds is a huge insult where we come from. That "annoying-looking pretty boy model," Chris Pine, turns in he year's best breakthrough performance-- are you listening, MTV?

3. All the ladies agree: Zachary Quinto is the thinking woman's sex symbol for the 21st Century. Spock, as Quinto plays him, is transformed into a studly romantic brainiac badass. Who could've predicted that?

2. This weekend, it will likely become the highest-grossing Tyler Perry movie of all time. Yes-- he's in two scenes and since no one knew he was in the film when it first opened, there were whispers all around: "Hot damn-- is that Madea?"

1. It's just that damn entertaining. We watched the film with a mild fan and two people who had very little interest in the movie-- and all enjoyed it tremendously. They agreed with this reviewer that Star Trek jump-starts a series that had been "mined to exhaustion." Best of all, this weekend, it goes up against Angels and Demons, the sequel to The Da Vinci Code, giving you yet another reason to help keep this atop the box office...

The Hottest Unknown Women Of Star Trek

"I Broke My Dick And It Made Shatner A Star"

While You Were Sleeping: Mel Gibson Is In Trouble Now

The Hottest Unknown Women Of Star Trek

Drew Grant — Tue, 12 May 2009 13:00:00 GMT

Sure, Zoe Saldana and Winona Ryder are lovely in the new Trek film, but the Starship Enterprise has seen it's share of legs, thighs, and places where no man has gone before, even if they've never had many speaking parts after boning Kirk, Spock, or Picard.

Like Marta here, from the Planet Man-Eater. Me-ow.

T'Pol from Startrek Enterprise, as played by the lovely Jolene Blalock

The Wrath of Kahn had some fine, fine ladies

Kanuta Nona, bitching out Kirk for not sharing his "advanced weaponry"

Seven of Nine...yeop. She may have had more lines, but we had to include her

Um...not realy sure about this one. Some blond alien, most likely

One of Those Gamesters of Triskelion

The Galactially Hot Women of Star Trek (TOS)

Top Ten Responses to the Star Trek Corset

The Hot Line: Star Trek

Emily Farris — Mon, 11 May 2009 21:56:00 GMT

As Scanner Brian mentioned this morning, J.J. Abrams' Star Trek grossed $76.5 million in its first four days, making it the biggest Star Trek movie ever. But anyone who knows anything about this here blog knows we care much less about money than we do about, say, beards and boobs. So we're pretty excited about Nerve's new feature The Hot Line, that tracks the sexiness of cultural institutions and icons over time. Since Star Trek has been around longer than we have—and is full of galactic beards and boobs—it seemed like a great place to start.

Let us begin with Mr. Spock.

Turns out he reached the pinnacle of hotness in 1967 with that beard (evil, emotional Spock?), and apparently it's gone downhill from there, until now.

So where do Khan's pecs or Kirk and Spock's bromance fall on the line?

[The Hotline: Star Trek]

Related:

The Galactially Hot Women of Star Trek (TOS)

Top Ten Responses to the Star Trek Corset

No William Shatner Cameo in New Star Trek

Sloppy Seconds: And You Thought You Wouldn't Live to See a Gay Space Wedding

While You Were Sleeping: Mel Gibson Is In Trouble Now

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:11:00 GMT

Everyone's saying Obama brought down the house at the "nerd prom," aka the White House Correspondents Dinner, but really, it was Wanda Sykes who killed. She even landed good terrorism and abstinence jokes.

Ashton Kutcher got punk'd.

Star Trek shocked the movie industry by grossing over $72 million in its opening weekend.

Justin Timberlake brought it back to SNL.

It costs two cents more to mail a letter now, as if you still mail letters.

Mel Gibson may have impregnated his mistress. Yes, the guy who directed The Passion of the Christ.

The 9.6 million dollar text message.

Eminem has gone to war against... Mariah Carey?

Steven Soderbergh and Sasha Grey are on tour promoting their movie and are constantly having to defend porn.

Sloppy Seconds: The Hipster Grifter Speaks (And She Wants Money)

Emily Farris — Fri, 01 May 2009 23:16:00 GMT

We've heard all about Obama's first 100 days, but what about Hillary Clinton's? Turns out she hasn't had time to read a single book or even see a movie. [NYT]

Watch William Shatner watch the trailer for the Star Trek movie he's not in. [Vulture]

Miley Cyrus would like you to know she's totally not having sex with her 20-year-old boyfriend, telling the Daily Mail, “I want to keep my virginity until I marry. I was brought up in a Christian family.” Yeah, Miley, so were were. [FadedYouth]

Heroes star and Scanner Brian crush Hayden Panettiere is the latest young star to audition for the Footloose remake. [Us]

Kari Farrell, that f-ing nude, f-ing hipster grifter finally showed her face long enough to let the world know that Vice still owes her $200. [Gawker]

Meet the Hipster Grifter from ANIMALmagazine on Vimeo.

Look at This F-ing Nude Hipster Grifter

Look at This F-ing Email From This F-ing Nude Hipster Grifter

I Hate Myself for Loving You: Hayden Paniettiere

Sloppy Seconds: Missouri's Weekend at Bernie's... Two

Emily Farris — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 23:07:00 GMT

Jamie Waylett, who plays Vincent Crabble in the Harry Potter movies has been arrested on charges of possessing some magic herbs. [The Inquisitr]

What? More Star Trek? When will it ever end? [Yahoo!]

Remember earlier today when we said we had no idea what was going on with our state of Missouri? It gets worse. The town of Winfield, MO elected Harry Stonebraker to his fourth term as mayor yesterday. Too bad he died a month ago. It should be noted that this is not the first time Missourians have elected a dead man. [SNAFU-ed]

A crew has taken back a U.S. ship from Somali pirates! [NPR]

Bristol Palin's baby daddy Levi Johnston said this morning that certain members of the Palin family are lying liars and that he sure as hell was living in sin with Bristol. [Us]

Lindsay Lohan may be heartbroken over her split with Samantha Ronson, but Lohan's grandmother is heartbroken over the split-up of the Lohan family. [People]

Smell Like Wiliam Shatner

Emily Farris — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 21:34:00 GMT

VIA THE MODERN MATERIALIST: William Shatner looks totally surprised here that you'd want to smell like him, lil ol' him, but he knows that he's awesome.

And someone has finally figured out a way to bottle the awesome. Apparently.

Read more...

Top Ten Responses to the Star Trek Corset

Emily Farris — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 15:35:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Truly, if we could've somehow gotten pictures of each of the Remote Island bloggers wearing this thing, we would've done it in a heartbeat (come on, this year's staff calendar?).

Clearly, the Star Trek corset has caused quite a stir on the website this week, Click through for the top ten response comments to sexing up the United Federation of Planets...

Read More...

The History of Sex on Television

Scanner Matt — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 15:16:00 GMT

From the first married couple to share a bed to the first lesbian sex scene, here is a history of network television's groundbreaking moments:

First Married Couple in Bed Together
Mary Kay and Johnny
November 18 1947
Dumont Network

First Interracial Kiss
Star Trek
November 22, 1968
NBC

First Female Nudity
Steambath
May 3, 1973
PBS

First Condom Commercial
Trojan condoms
1975
KNTV-TV (ABC affiliate)

First Scene With A Condom
Cagney & Lacey
1986
CBS

First Gay Male Sex
thirtysomething
November 7, 1989
ABC

First Gay Male Kiss
Dawson's Creek
May 24, 2000
WB

First Lesbian Sex Scene
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
May 6, 2003
UPN

First Daytime Gay Male Kiss
August 17, 2007
First Daytime Gay Male Sex
As the World Turns
January 12, 2009
CBS

Compiled from Lapham's Quarterly (Eros Vol. II No. I Winter 2009) and The Daily Beast

Pope Makes Insane Gay Metaphor

Best Naked Music Video of the Year

Graydon Carter Won't Say the M Word

Tina Fey Tells Everyone to 'Suck it' at the Golden Globes

Wil Wheaton's Greatest Hits

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 20:54:00 GMT

Wil Wheaton says, "Don't be a dick!"

Wil Wheaton is in exile. Since going into "exile" on Typepad, he's been blogging his ass off, keeping internet nerds and other trolls relentlessly entertained. God bless him-- he's a charming ol' bastard (yes, child stars do grow up and become "middle aged." Witness the recent, hideous NKOTB reunion tour.) Running through his latest and greatest posts, we've presented a "Wil Wheaton Reader" of sorts:

-"It's funny you should ask," I said. "That's an illusion. You're actually fighting a level 18 Squidzilla."

-From a video he shared on fish deboning: "The wonder boner! My wife would like that."

-Regarding his new audiobook: "How long is it?" You say? "That's what she said!" I reply.

-Regarding the death of Majel Roddenbery, the wife of the creator of Star Trek: Since we got the news yesterday, a lot of people have asked me if I can tell a story as a way to remember her. I've dug around in the attic of my mind for hours, and the best I can do is: We always had fun when we were working on Next Generation, but when Majel was on the set, it was a party.

-On the possible Screen Actors Guild Strike: For the SAG board to even consider voluntarily stopping work when we're falling deeper and deeper into the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression isn't just stupid, it's recklessly irresponsible. SAG needs to face the reality we're stuck with: AFTRA sold us out. AFTRA fucked all actors everywhere by negotiating with the AMPTP on their own and agreeing to shockingly horrible terms. The AFTRA negotiators failed all actors, whether they're currently SAG, currently AFTRA, or are still hoping to join. Those "negotiators" should be ashamed of themselves, and they shouldn't be allowed in the same building as a contract ever again.

-Here's another one we agree with wholeheartedly: When I get stuck on anything, I go for a walk. When I get really stuck, I go for a drive, and then take a walk when I get to wherever I end up. I may not come home with lots of ideas, but I always come home with at least one. I also never know when something's going to strike me, which is why I always carry a little notebook and pen in my pocket when I leave the house. [pause] Man, I want to write a Cthulhu story now.

-"The thing is, my kids aren't especially interested in a serious Battletech fight ("When do we get to fight each other?" "Just as soon as we finish building our Mechs." "But we've been doing that for an hour!" "I know! We have to make sure they're just right ..."), and my wife glazes over every time I try to explain how awesome Illuminati is. ("AHAHAHAA! The FBI took over the Convenience Stores with help from Congressional Wives and Nuclear Power Companies! Hey, where are you going? Well, if you walk away from the table I'm just going to take your money and put it on my power structure. Why do you have your car keys? Honey? Hello?")"

-"You're a clever one, you are." "Not as clever as you think!" The dog said.

-"I do this silly thing on Twitter where I make up conversations with iTunes."

-And finally, regarding Comicons: "We can invade a hotel for a weekend, pretend it's like the cereal convention in Sandman, and recover enough hit points to survive our real lives until the next one."

Ah, real life-- who needs it with these blog posts? By the way, if you like the WWdN: Greatest Hits Collection, you should know that this is only a compendium of the best of December. Check the archives for more goodies...

Via Wil Wheaton's blog.

Against Your Wil (Wheaton)

SuicideGirls.com Lays Off Bloggers, Including Ensign Wesley Crusher

This Week In Gayness: Guys Making Out On CNN

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 14:04:00 GMT

Howard Dean and the DNC in the case of a gay man who is suing for wrongful termination will have to go to trial after mediation failed. Donald Hitchcock was fired after his boyfriend wrote a letter criticizing the DNC's policies on LGBT issues.

The wave of the future: about two-thirds of Americans under 35 are in favor of gay marriage.

As Scanner Emily told you yesterday, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson attacked Sarah Palin for being a media obsessed homophobe in dual blog postings...

I really cannot bite my tongue anymore when it comes to Sarah Palin.

I couldn't be more supportive of a woman in office, but let's face it, it comes down to the person, and their beliefs, male or female.

Is it a sin to be gay? Should it be a sin to be straight? Or to use birth control? Or to have sex before marriage? Or even to have a child out of wedlock?

I find it quite interesting that a woman who now is running to be second in command of the United States, only 4 years ago had aspirations to be a television anchor. Which is probably all she is qualified to be... Also interesting that she got her passport in 2006... [Read the full post here]

As if the Catholic Church doesn't have enough problems attracting new members, now they're sacking longtime followers who turn out to be gay.

Wearing matching white tuxedo jackets and marching down the aisle together to a song from A Chorus Line, Star Trek's Mr. Sulu, George Takei, married his boyfriend of 21 years in a lavish Buddhist ceremony in California. Can you believe this guy's 71? He sure doesn't look it...

And two guys made out on CNN... sort of...

Via Breitbart.

Related:

The War On Sex Rages On...

Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson Would Like You to Know What They Think of Sarah Palin

This Week In Gayness: The Saxon Warrior Lovers

Ow, My Eyes! "Ann Coulter Lite" Is Anti-Everything We Hold Awesome

Dame Helen Mirren As A Teen: Loved Coke, Date Rape Not So Much

"I Broke My Dick And It Made Shatner A Star"

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 14:37:00 GMT

Christopher Plummer told PageSix a sex story so bizarrely hilarious that we were forced to lift our own ban on linking to the New York Post to share it with you...

The movie star has a new autobiography out in which, according to the gossip rag we love to hate, he tells the following story about gearing up to play Henry V on stage in 1956, a role for which William Shatner was the understudy. (Note that just before the excerpt begins, Plummer has just had a wild one night stand with an unnamed woman...)

"I woke up alone the next morning... (pain) all around my groin and lower abdomen... I started to whimper like a whipped dog. 'So this is what syphilis is like?' I thought. 'I suppose I deserve it, but Christ, how the hell was I to know?'
But instead of being struck down by the disease, Plummer had dislodged a kidney stone and had to undergo a medical procedure with a surgical wire to resolve the problem.
He adds, "It began to sink in... Shatner, my understudy, would have to go on... (It) instantly brought back the pain. I screamed for a nurse who jabbed me with more morphine.
"I knew then that the S.O.B. was going to be a 'star.'" [WENN-- see, we avoided the Post]

Ooh, scandalous! It almost would make more sense of Plummer had contracted syphillis because it would explain his insane assertion that William Shatner became famous for a 1950s stage play by Billy Shakes. Everybody knows it was his rockin' version of "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds."

Right?

Related:

What STD? I'm STFree!

Scanner Highs And Lows: Sweden Or Sexism?

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me An Online Match

Sloppy Seconds: In Which Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz Make Out

The Galactially Hot Women of Star Trek (TOS)

No William Shatner Cameo in New Star Trek

This Week In Gayness: The Gay Marriage Revolution

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:34:00 GMT

The lawyer of a boy accused of murdering a gay classmate blames the school for coddling the gay kid instead of addressing the real problem: unwanted advances. (On an unrelated note, ever heard of a straight teenagers shooting each other for sexual harassment? What does it say about our culture that anti-gayness drives teenagers to shoot each other and get life sentences?)

Teens having sex is almost okay with grandparents these days, but apparently not this kind of sex...

Police said a 61-year-old Reading, Pa., woman beat her 16-year-old granddaughter severely after finding her in bed with another girl. [Gay.com]

Meanwhile, gay priests exchanged vows in England, which is against the boring old rules.

The rest of the gay news this week is: California, California, California.

First, as seen above, photos from the groundbreaking legal gay marriages.

Another attempt at stopping them was shot down.

And Star Trek star George Takei married his longtime partner.

Image via SFChronicle.

Sloppy Seconds: And You Thought You Wouldn't Live to See a Gay Space Wedding

Emily Farris — Mon, 19 May 2008 22:12:00 GMT

Janet-Miss-Jackson-if-You're-Nasty is planning her first tour in seven years. [Yahoo!]

So sad: Two Indian women were found dead after torching their home to end their "unusual relationship." [Queerty]

If a fake pregnancy happens in a forrest and everyone knows it's fake, is it really a fake pregnancy? Huh? What did we just ask? Anyway... [Fafarrazi]

This woman wants a penis, though we don't think this is the best way to go about getting one. Unless giving her one will make it stop? [YouTube]

Is it us or has Jessica Alba been pregnant FOREVER? Anyway, when she finally does pop out that baby, she plans on being a "tough mother." [People]

Star Trek star George Takei will take advantage of California's new gay marriage law. We're guessing it won't be a Star-Trek-themed gay wedding, which disappoints us a little, but we're happy for the guy, anyway. [Us]

Thoroughly Adult Production of Macbeth Moving to Broadway

Bryan Christian — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 15:00:00 GMT

We're pretty sure that there are a few of you out there who've harbored sex fantasies about Patrick Stewart over the years. If you're one of those folks, may we strongly recommend the scary, showy, and thoroughly excellent production of Macbeth that stars Mr. Stewart and which will soon move from a sold-out run at the Brooklyn Academy of Music (blocks from our house!) to Broadway. Stewart brings out sides of the title character that we'd never seen before -- including the dirty old man. At one point he even sneaks his hand somewhere between second and third base on Lady Macbeth (who, as played by Kate Fleetwood, is something of a knockout) and you're just kind of left going "Oh, yeah... this sure as shit ain't Star Trek." It's pretty much double plus awesome.

Macbeth ends at BAM on March 22, and runs at Broadway's Lyceum Theatre from March 28 - May 24.

"Star Trek" Casting Just Got Madder, Blacker, and Way Weirder

Bryan Christian — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 14:29:00 GMT

OK, we've spent most of the last half-hour trying to figure out whether to fulfill today's geek/showbiz news quotient with either the whole thing about how people were saying that Brandon Routh was out as Superman but it just turned out that people were misinterpreting (and then blogging about) an article in Variety or something about how we doubt that the Golden Globe Awards are going to happen now that the Actors Guild has announced that their members will not be appearing (out of solidarity with the WGA), but neither of those is half as interesting as this: Diary of a Mad Black Woman powerhouse Tyler Perry is the latest bizarre addition to the Star Trek reboot. And dig this: not only will Perry be playing the head of the Starfleet Academy, but rumor has it he'll be administering some discipline to young James Tiberius Kirk for an offense that Trek fans will be well familiar with.

Tyler’s character is overseeing some kind of Starfleet courtroom/assembly event where young Kirk is facing expulsion from Starfleet. It turns out that the Starfleet prez didn’t look too favorably on Cadet Kirk for “cheating” on one of his critical tests.

Now, either you already know what the test that Kirk cheated on is, or you don't. We'll not belabor the point either way, and just say that from what we've seen of the Madea movies, we can only hope that they're not letting Perry write his own lines, or else young Kirk better be ready for some seriously simpleminded homespun wisdom. (And isn't that what McCoy was for anyway?)

And just so we're keeping tabs, Perry is the latest in a long list of highly illogical actors to be announced for the Christmas 2008 film, including Winona Ryder, Simon Pegg, John Cho, and Clifton Collins, Jr. It's a fine list, to be sure, but we do notice one quite important role has yet to be cast: sexy green alien lady. Hmm... isn't Rose McGowan available these days?

Previously:

The Galactially Hot Women of Star Trek (TOS)

No William Shatner Cameo in New Star Trek

The Galactially Hot Women of Star Trek (TOS)

Emily Farris — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 18:33:00 GMT

While we're sure you read it for the articles watched it for the fascinating scifi story line, there's no denying that the original "Star Trek" series was chock full of hot women. Someone who apparently has far too much time on his hands has put them together in a flickr set. Let's all thank him together.

The Galactially Hot Women of Star Trek (TOS): View it as a slide show.

[poletti via Boing Boing]

Earlier today: No William Shatner Cameo in New Star Trek

No William Shatner Cameo in New Star Trek

Emily Farris — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 17:42:00 GMT

William Shatner will not appear as Kirk, Spock or anyone in the new version of Star Trek, directed by J.J. Abrams. He's not happy with the decision, and neither are we. But we are reminded of this video that was circulated on the web about a year ago of Shatner performing Elton John's Rocket Man back in the 70's. And this makes us happy. Probably a little too happy.

Also, Ethan Hawke in Negotiations to Play Spock's Slacker Dad

Bryan Christian — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 17:11:00 GMT

The latest word from the bafflingly cast Star Trek reboot, helmed by TV wonderboy J.J. Abrams, is that recent WWYR superstar Winona Ryder is set to play Spock's mom. We'll wait here while you have a mild aneurysm.

As we remember the Trek mythology, this does not mean that she will be putting on elf ears and acting dour, since Spock was a halfie who got his logical, Vulcan side from his father and, from his Earth-born mother, got an impulsive, emotional human side which he struggled his entire life to control. We'll wait here while you reflect on the narrative efficiency that can occasionally result from excellent casting.

Still, this means that Ryder will be joining a group of unlikely actors that includes Zachary "~~Silas~~Sylar" Quinto as her son, Simon "Shaun" Pegg as Scotty, John "Harold" Cho as Sulu, Karl "I've Played Lots of Hitmen" Urban as Dr. McCoy, Eric "Anything But Hulk" Bana as the bad guy, and Chris "Huh?" Pine as James Tiberius Kirk. We have no idea what to make of any this, other than to say: in Googling the new Kirk, we give him about a one-in-four chance of nailing Mrs. Spock. We'll wait here while you picture Winona Ryder in green body paint.

A Brief History of Electric Ladyland

Bryan Christian — Fri, 02 Nov 2007 19:31:00 GMT

Over at Popular Science, Annalee Newitz takes a look back at the many sexy lady robots that have fevered our weak human minds over the past 80 years. (Yeah, they go that far back.) We know what you're thinking: did they remember Rosie the Robot Maid from The Jetsons? Sadly, no.

Good thing, then, that over on the PopSci forums, there's been a veritable nerdsplosion of notably overlooked foxy fembots. So far it looks like Jeri Ryan's Seven of Nine from Star Trek is the write-in candidate of choice.

Hey, did any of you guys ever see the Voyager episodes where Seven has to go back in time and tell herself something? (Since there are about a million of those, if you ever saw Voyager, chances are: yes, you did.) Did any one else see that and wonder whether, if they ever saw their future selves and they were totally hot, they'd consider sleeping with them? I mean, I wouldn't. (Face stubble's a real turn-off.) But would you? Would Seven of Nine? Maybe?