Scanner : shoes

Even Shoe Companies Want in On the Nude Ad Bandwagon

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 16:02:00 GMT

The Oregonian, rapidly becoming the preeminent source of nudity news in the Pacific Northwest, alerted us to a new Nike campaign that involves butt-naked runners.

Butt naked, of course, except for their Nike Free running shoes, which are, of course, very far from "free..."

Apparently, everyone is on nikerunning.com watching the video, so we don't have it for you, but it goes something like this: a bunch of people run around naked (except for the stupid product they're supposed to be promoting, of course) at Bear Butte Training Camp. Now, where's my drum hit?

Some are very fit extras; the rest, Nike-sponsored athletes who train in Oregon. [Ed. note: Although the ad was filmed in California, where runners say the heat made stripping off their workout clothes no big deal at all.]

Holding a strategically placed guitar, U.S. 5,000-meter champion Lauren Fleshman discusses the Bear lifestyle. Nick Symmonds, a national 800-meter champion, bends to lace his shoes and gushes, "If you want to be a super-natural runner, you've got to train like one."

So, in other words, Nike is encouraging people to streak in order to become sort of demon dasher, a "super-natural runner?" Well, that we would love to hear about from the Oregonian.

Nike

The Oregonian

And here's a video from The Remore Island of a pole vaulter who lost his Nike sponsorship and took to the streets naked... with only his pole.

Related:

German Female Olympians Form Close Bond, Immediately Pose Nude For Playboy

Naked Olympians: Cyclist Rebecca Romero

Rhythm Gymnast Swizzles Her Ribbon All Over FHM Magazine

Look Out! Olympic Swimmer Amanda Beard Is Naked Again. This Time for PETA, Not Playboy

10 Sexiest Women Over 50 (Part Two)

Pin-Ups for Sneakerheads

Emily Farris — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:27:00 GMT

VIA THE MODERN MATERIALIST: Every straight male sneakerhead's fantasy has just come true.

Click below for more photos from Playboy's "Hot Chicks, Cool Kicks" feature:

Read more...

TSA Shows Some T&A

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 21:08:00 GMT

Hasn't the Transportation Security Administration embarrassed us enough by smelling our stinky shoes, emptying all the expired condoms out of our pockets, and pretending to throw away our open containers of beer (which, no doubt, they keep in a separate "recycling bin")?

Apparently not. You're gonna love how much tits, ass, peen, and whatnot the baggage screeners are going to get a glimpse of if these new X-ray machines are put to use...

The first two images are of a female (note the glorious X-ray boobies), while the right two images are of a male (note that weiner.) Here's a detail:

Believe it or not, this doesn't violate our no-genitals policy because, well, we got these from a legitimate news source, via Twitter, the world's finest news source.

By the way, if you want to avoid having one of these TSA searches, don't fly out of the airport in Salt Lake City, Utah, the only place these New World Order strip searches have gone into effect.

Hair Has Hair Down Thare

Penis, Penis, Peanuts

The Best Job in the World? Carnival Body Painters

While You Were Sleeping: Sarah Palin Is A Big, Whiny Phony

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

A teacher kissed his sixteen-year-old student three times, his wife found out, and he resigned his position. Then, whoops, it turned out he hadn't done anything illegal.

That investment adviser who tried to fake his own death via plane crash was caught in Florida.

Guess which television personality said this to Kate Winslet: "I love the fact that you have real breasts?" Conan? Bill O'Reilly? Sean Hannity?

Kate Winslet was on Oprah today, and Ms. Winfrey made a point of talking about the sexually explicit flick The Reader. "In all the scenes, your breasts do what real breasts do," Oprah mused.

"I love the fact that you have real breasts," Oprah gushed to Kate... "God bless your real breasts." Kate, ever the good sport, said, "Thank you," and the audience burst into applause as the two women clasped hands in a real-breast-love-fest. [Jezebel]

Is this the first arrest via Facebook?

STD rates continue to climb, in spite of brave CNN's noble efforts to alert us.

The parents of Drew Peterson's girlfriend sound way too nonchalant about this. Whatever happened to a baseball bat and a loud "you stay away from my daughter, you hear?!"

Even pointing out what a lying idiot Sarah Palin is has become an utter waste of time, since she won't even acknowledge it when every one of her accusations turn out to be bullshit.

For a stupid Nike commercial masquerading as a YouTube video, this is pretty funny-- although we still could care less about Taylor Momsen, whoever that is. (To offset the fact that we're basically linking to an ad, you should buy Reebok or any other brand instead.)

Photo of Taylor Momsen via Gawker.

Dumbest Person Ever? Pregnant Woman Gives Birth on Rollercoaster

This Blog Has Been Rated NC-17

Chloe Sevigny Would Like More Topless Sex Scenes, Please

Scanner Highs and Lows: An Orgy of Holiday Weirdness

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 22:51:00 GMT

Scanner Santa has a slew of gift ideas for you: sex toys, DVDs, a pair of shoes and... an artificial virginity hymen?

Plus, there's a mother lode of delectable posts you missed out on this week...

HIGHS:

Fleshbot stuffed our stockings with dildos.

The 1925 office party almost made us wish we worked in an actual office instead of in our underwear.

Santacon: the only holiday event we participate in, besides gift-receiving.

The publishing industry is in turmoil-- get people books as presents, if you can.

It's the end of the year: time to crown a new Miss World and imprison the losers in a zoo.

Cops and hookers celebrated the holiday as only they can(not, under police rules.)

Scanner Verena drooled over the Santa undie run.

Joe Biden got himself a lovely Christmas present.

We're no longer afraid of Mike Tyson, thanks to how much turkey he obviously ate last month.

Italian scientists gave the women of the world the greatest gift of all: orgasms.

LOWS:

George Bush ducked a pair of shoes-- this would've been a high, if not for his excellent reflexes.

He responded to the controversy by releasing this atrocious video of his family's acting skills, which are worse than Leonardo DiCaprio's.

Paula Abdul also dumped some holiday crap on us.

We're still trying to figure out how Scanner Matt narrowed down this list to a mere 5 shittastic Christmas commercials.

This holiday season, skip the rom-coms that will be cropping up in your gift boxes.

The Artificial Virginity Hymen should not be on Christmas list. Just stop.

Meanwhile, Time Warner wasted time it should've better spent fixing New York's internet problems by producing this calendar.

And we're not sure if this is a high or a low: but an obviously poor boy broke into a dollar store to play with some of their toys. Merry Christmas, kid.

Same with this: Scanner Emily peaced out on NYC, moved to Missoura. We'll miss her physical presence up North, but she'll still be around in our Google chats and sidebars, for sure, starting next week.

Caption This: Rod Stewart Thinks He Has Something to Say To You

Emily Farris — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 18:52:00 GMT

[Image]

Presenting High Heeled Shoes... For Babies

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 12:50:00 GMT

We're seriously not making this up. And we have pictures of this weirdness to prove it...

Sure, these are "fake" high heels in the sense that they have a squishy heel ("for safety reasons," as one of the designers put it), but we're still baffled that someone thought it was acceptable to have zero to six month old babies stumbling about in shoes with a stubbed dangling heel attached to them. And yes, they are deliberately geared to that exact age group. (Oh, and if, as the designers claim, they actually do fully flatten underneath, then what's the point? Do parents enjoy seeing their daughters crawl along the floor in heels? Reminds us too much of "Secretary" for our taste...)

Admittedly, this would be much worse if the "Heel-arious" shoes (yep, that's the actual name of the company) were just smaller versions of what long-suffering women wear everyday, but do we really want to damage our kids and their feet with this kind of thing so early on?

Perhaps we should give them the benefit of the doubt. Their website is so goofy and tries so desperately to empahsize its own harmlessness that it may, in fact, not be a completely terrible idea:

Extremely funny, completely soft shoes for babies
0-6 months designed to look like high heels
Not intended for walking (heel will collapse with weight).
Not intended to harm children in any way.

WARNING: May cause extreme smiling and hysterical laughter when in use (this is completely normal).

Honestly, probably not for the tot who has to wear them, but as long as mom's laughing her ass off, right? Oh well... if you've had a different experience, we'd love to hear about it...

Via Heelarious.

Related:

Running in Heels: It's Hard Enough Just Walking, Moscow

The 2008 Mermaid Parade Rocked Our Partially-Nude World

Judge Us Harshly for Wanting to See the "Sex and the City" Movie, We Can Take It

back to dailyscanner.com

Caption This: Sarah Palin's Stilettos

Emily Farris — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 16:18:00 GMT

Our wordless caption after the jump.

Palin Image

Clinton image via New York Times.

Move Over Lazy Young People, Persephone Lewin's Day Puts Yours To Shame

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 18:38:00 GMT

Persephone Lewin, who is somewhere in the neighborhood of 45, is a grandmother, solver of murders, burlesque dancer, author, comedian, yachtswoman, and YouTube sensation. We fear she'll ask us what we do with our time...

From an article in an English newspaper, we learn she is a

Yachtswoman, forensic science writer, businesswoman, mother, grandmother, musician, comedienne – oh, and burlesque artist; catch her act on YouTube...That’s her real name, by the way. Her mother was Greek so, naturally, named her daughter after a Greek goddess.

We further discover:

1) She is 4-foot-11 and has over 400 pairs of shoes

2) Lewin met her husband at a yacht club

3) She was a student at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts and has done stand-up

4) She had "her own manufacturing company (it made security fixings), [spent] ten years of raising their two children and then, something completely different, [worked in] forensic science."

5) Her husband worked for the coppers, matching up bite marks on murder victims to dental records of possible suspects. Together, their work launched a successful dual-autobiography and solved at least one murder, the strange death of a nine-year-old girl.

6) Even before all that:

She could sing, dance, play the trumpet and had a real knack for making fin de siècle costumes. At this point she hadn’t heard of burlesque, but that’s what her act became. So, complete with that penguin – now called Freddie – she took her very visual act to London, and is now a regular at Madam JoJo’s Burlesque Show in Soho.

Persephone doesn't strip so much as hint at the stripping to come later on in this clip from her act. Not to worry, your imagination should do the rest...

Via the Gazette.

Scanner Emily's Burlesque Fantasy Comes True, Sort Of

Hot Teacher Busted For Hosting Sex & Drugs Party

90-Year-Old Woman Served Lunch By Half-Naked Man (And It's Her Make-A-Wish Wish, Too)

Sloppy Seconds: Which Pop Star Might Play The Lead In The Next Tarantino Film?

New Orleans Politician Arrested While Getting-- How Perfect-- A Lap Dance

The Only Thing More Ridiculous Than Miley Cyrus Writing a Memior

Emily Farris — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 20:12:00 GMT

What the fuck is wrong with Disney these days? Seriously? Or maybe we should ask what is wrong with Crocs, the shoe company, because they're about to make shoes based on Hannah Montana.

Crocs Inc, known for its colorful plastic shoes, on Thursday said it is launching a line of shoes and accessories based on Walt Disney Co's hit shows "Hannah Montana" and "High School Musical."

The shoemaker also said it will make shoes tied to the upcoming Walt Disney film "Wall-E."

The Hannah Montana and Wall-E inspired Crocs will come to market in May while High School Musical footwear will debut this summer.

That's it. We quit shoes.

[Reuters: Crocs to make shoes based on Disney hits]

Ladies, Scanner Emily Will Judge You Harshly, Not Quietly, For Wearing These Shoes

Emily Farris — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 18:24:00 GMT

Ladies, we need to talk. I understand that you want to stand out, and be different, but you can do so without risking a broken neck—and you can certainly do so in sensible, yet sexy, shoes.

I kind of feel like if you wear these, you're letting the terrorists win. You're at least letting Anna Wintour win.

[Kingdom of Style via Yes But No But Yes]

Can High Heels Improve Your Sex Life? One Doctor Thinks So

Emily Farris — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:33:00 GMT

Dudes, you should know that high heels are not the most comfortable shoes in the world. In fact, they may be the most uncomfortable. After a few hours of walking in heels, there's nothing we want more than to take them off. But we wear them because we know we look good in them, and we also know that you probably fantasize about doing a woman wearing nothing but her heels. Now we have another reason to slip into our sexy shoes, and keep them on.

New research suggests that high heels may improve your sex life by helping to develop pelvic floor muscles. Now, it should be noted that the study was conducted by an Italian urologist who is a self-professed lover of sexy shoes, but still, we'll go with it.

[BBC News: High heels 'may improve sex life']

[Image via platinumdolls.com]

(Thanks, Caitlin!)

Happy Halloween! Buy Us Shoes!

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 16:53:00 GMT

Oh this Halloween shit is getting serious. We are officially in the spirit and there's no turning back. Why? Freddy Kreuger shoes. Forget fuck-me shoes; these are fuck-you shoes! They represent Kreuger's striped shirt and brown hat and, oh Jesus, they are special. Imagine how terrible we'd be, lurking around in these sneakers. Already running scared? No. Well then, please note that there's gore on the insole. Terrified now? Yes, that's what we thought. We are going to claw the shit out of anyone who gets in our way.