Scanner : sexy photos

Megan Fox Strips to Underwear for Esquire, Fancy New Camera

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 18:52:00 GMT

Megan Fox doesn't have anything to promote these days, but that never stops "gentleman rags" from running hot photos of her in an effort to "boost" their "circulation."

This time, however, her appearance on the cover of Esquire, and subsequent shots of her in her underwear, have something to do with Fox's promotion of the semi-new Red Cameras...

Here's what Esquire had to say about using the RedONE on this shoot:

For the first time in Esquire's history (and, we imagine, magazine history in general), a cover image was shot as a video. Using the RedONE, a video camera that captures images at four times the resolution of high-definition, photographer-director Greg Williams recorded ten minutes of loosely scripted footage with Fox — getting out of bed, rolling around on a pool chair, inexplicably lighting a barbecue. "It allowed her to act," Williams says. "She could run scenes without being reminded by the sound of a shutter every four seconds that I was taking a picture. As in still photography, a lot of it is capturing unexpected moments. This takes that one step further."

This, by the way, is the same camera that Che, Angels and Demons, and My Bloody Valentine 3D were shot with. It is rather revolutionary... despite the conventional use of Megan Fox to promote it.

Via Esquire-- these photos will be available on May 10th on newsstands everywhere.

Related:

AZ Gov. Candidate Posts Topless Photo of His Roommate on Flickr

This Cassie Ventura Whose Nude Pics Leaked Today is a Little Sassafrass

Rolling Stone Somehow Convinces Sasha Grey to-- Gasp-- Pose Nude

PA DA Threatening to Jail 11-Year-Olds For Sexting

We Finally Figured Out Why Marilyn Manson Dumped Dita Von Teese...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:33:00 GMT

For a long time, we thought Marilyn Manson was crazy for dumping his new wife, Dita Von Teese (Dita Von TEESE, for God's sake!) for some teenage actress named Evan Rachel Wood. Wood, we thought, wasn't even the femme fatale type, while Von Teese is practically the textbook definition. Then again, it's our own fault for not realizing Marilyn Manson was crazy beforehand.

Now comes word that a) Marilyn Manson has apologized to Von Teese for leaving her in the lurch and b) has gotten back together with his onetime flame. Wood, meanwhile, is moving rapidly toward stardom thanks to the new Woody Allen movie and this GQ photo spread...

Despite her breakout roles in mainstream movies like The Wrestler and scandal-free lifestyle, she still scares the crap out of us. (In her GQ interview, she laments the loss of her pet rats.) After all,

this is the girl who, at age 19, shot a blood-spattered sex scene with her boyfriend, Marilyn Manson, for one of his rock videos.
More recently, she was linked with her Wrestler co-star, the 56-year-old Mickey Rourke. “There was no truth to it, and it was so annoying,” says Wood, now 21, who is back with Manson after “taking some time” away from the relationship. Of Rourke, she says: “The friendship was intimate and nice, and this makes it weird.”

Via GQ.

Related:

Sexy Tattoos From The Pre-Badass Era

PETA Names the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door...

Sloppy Seconds: Evan Rachel Wood Isn't the Only One Tapping That

While You Were Sleeping: Morrissey Gets Naked For CD Sales

Sloppy Seconds: Evan Rachel Wood Goes There, We Lose Our Lunch

Sexy Tattoos From The Pre-Badass Era

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:37:00 GMT

You've worked long and hard. Plus, we've already begun happy hour in preparation for Bearded Man of the Week Kris Kristofferson tonight and don't really have much writerly energy left. So, instead... we'll take you on a whirlwind tour of the early days of photography, which were also, it seems, the beginning of the tattoo craze that still sweeps America to this day...

Seriously, though, tattoos have been staining the skin since ancient times:

Tattooing has been practiced worldwide. The Ainu, the indigenous people of Japan, traditionally wore facial tattoos. Today one can find Berbers of Tamazgha (North Africa) and Maori of New Zealand with facial tattoos. Tattooing was widespread among Polynesian peoples and among certain tribal groups in the Philippines, Borneo, Mentawai Islands, Africa, North America, South America, Mesoamerica, Europe, Japan, Cambodia, New Zealand and Micronesia. Despite some taboos surrounding tattooing, the art continues to be popular in many parts of the world. [Wikipedia]

Earlier today, we came across a blog page with a dozen great tattoo photos from the era of black-and-white photography. Here are a half-dozen of our favorites:

We'll take Pam or the one with Betty Boop inked on her leg... but generally, are a plethora of tattoos distracting? Hot?

Related:

Skull Spikes, Arm Ears and 5 Other Things We'll Never Do To Our Bodies

Art Students the Biggest Sluts, Study Says

PETA Names the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door...

Who Would You Rather: Brad Pitt vs. Every Other Man in the World?

Dita Von Teese's Regrettable Tattoo Ideas

SXSW In Review: The Best Worst Week

Important Music Trend: Olds Backed Up by Cutes

PETA Names the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:26:00 GMT

Back in February, we advised you to vote for PETA's Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door 2009. There were loads of hot men and women in the running, many of them pictured in their underwear with bulges or major cleavage-- but thankfully, never both.

The ~~People Eating Tasty Animals~~ People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals have finally announced the winners and they're not who we expected...

As you may recall, we nominated the following gals: Alexia from New York City; Amy from Port Angeles, WA; Brooke from Ogden, UT; Giselle from Miami, FL; and Sunny from North Hollywood, CA.

Sadly, our advice was ignored and the winner is...

There's nothing wrong with Amber-- nothing wrong, that is, unless you're disappointed that PETA, supposedly secretly a feminist hive, prefers blondes. How original. (Okay, really, we were just rooting for Sunny to take the top prize...)

Amber, a [Minnetonka] Minnesota native, decided to go vegetarian after reading the book Skinny Bitch and doing research on making the switch, and she's thrilled with the results! In addition to feeling stronger both mentally and physically, she loves knowing that her carbon footprint is smaller, thanks to her vegetarian diet. Amber is the very proud guardian of several rescued animal companions, and she spends time volunteering for the Minnesota Boxer Rescue. She even lets her love for animals carry over into her work as a photographer. Check out the cute companion animal gallery on her Web site to see for yourself! Amber's major turn-ons are confidence, bad boys who have a heart for animals, tattoos, and creativity.

By the way, the winner for the Sexiest Male Vegetarian Next Door is... Monty.

Monty, 33, [of Los Angeles, CA] initially switched to a vegetarian diet for health reasons, but after he learned how factory farming affects animals and the environment, his convictions were reinforced, and he recently went vegan! Monty owns a visual-arts firm, and his photos capture the essence of a wide variety of timely issues, including President Barack Obama's presidential campaign. Monty shares his home with Zeus, a Chihuahua he took in after he found him wandering on Hollywood Boulevard. Monty considers analytical minds and compassionate hearts to be turn-ons and is turned off by people who aren't open-minded. He loves to travel and will soon retrace the steps of the man who discovered the North Pole.

Both win separate trips for two to Hawaii. One has to wonder what all the Hawaiians in the running were in it for...

Via PETA.

Related:

PETA Wants to Covet Your Neighbor's Sexy Wife

While You Were Sleeping: Sarah Palin Knew About The Promiscuous Sex

FYI, Leslie Out-Nakeds the Naked Cowboy

Cloris Leachman Wears Only Cabbage for Her PETA Ad

PETA Celebrates Mother's Day With Caged Pregnant Ladies

PETA Wants to Covet Your Neighbor's Sexy Wife

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 16:31:00 GMT

Now through March 11th, PETA has resolved to keep its topless protesters off the streets and to avoid throwing white paint at the Olsen twits and other enemies of furballs.

Instead, they've launched a new online competition featuring the Sexiest Vegetarians Next Door. The winner of the four rounds of voting wins a free trip to Hawaii... so, apparently, none of the girls pictured here are from Hawaii...

Alexi from Astoria (Queens), NY

Giselle from Miami, FL

Amy from Port Angeles, WA

Brooke from Ogden, UT. At the top of this post is Sunny from North Hollywood, CA. These are just a sampling of the many female contestants you can vote for at this link. The male contestants, as if anyone clicking on this post would care, are here.

PETA, via Fleshbot. For you enviable Europeans, voting begins here.

Related:

PETA Takes On Foie Gras, Valentine's Day, Decency Laws

Amy Winehouse, Topless Again, Stars in Her Most Bizarre Adventure Yet

PeTA: Again With Thinking Sex Sells Unpopular Idea

Dita Von Teese Ends Her Paris Show in Style

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 23:17:00 GMT

As we've mentioned previously, Dita Von Teese took Paris by blitzkreig over the past couple of weeks, wrapping up her epic burlesque run at the Crazy Horse this past Monday night.

After the jump, video, photos, and some exciting news for those who missed out...

If you're like us, you're insatiable in your quest for photos of Miss Von Teese, so here are two from recent shoots unrelated to her Paris show...

For those of you able and willing to go to, or luckily residing in, Paris, France, all is not lost, as the poets at Coldplay would say:

DUE TO OVERWHELMING RESPONSE...
DITA VON TEESE RETURNS TO THE CRAZY HORSE PARIS IN MARCH!!!

After a sell out two week run in February, the first guest star in the history of Paris' famed Crazy Horse, Dita, returns to the stage in March 2009 for a extended two week run between March 16th to 27th. The show includes new numbers, some featuring Dita with the Crazy Horse dancers.

Purchase tickets for those shows here.

Related:

Dita's New Nude Revue

How the Recession Helped Dita End Her Dry Spell

Dita Von Teese in German Playboy - the Sequel

Dita Von Teese Graces Us With These Playboy Photos

While You Were Sleeping: Clit-Pumpin' Glory

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 14:42:00 GMT

An 83-year-old woman in Hungary warms our hearts by continuing to work in her chosen career: crime.

Amy Fisher is going on that rumored stripping tour.

There's a penis in Grand Theft Auto IV! Guess they have to do something to offset the rampant exploitation of women.

Funniest headline of the day: "'Clinton Lays Out Broad Asian Agenda'. This headline makes sense no matter how you arrange the words."

Try the clit pump-nasal spray combo for mind-blowing female orgasms!

How can you not love Sam Donaldson after this clip from a Wonkette/Gawker interview he did?

Jane's Addiction is back... and Nine Inch Nails says goodbye.

The Democrats in Congress are enjoying a rare boom in popularity thanks to the stimulus.

Check out the hamburger dress. Actually, don't bother.

Yay for Dita Von Teese, who insists she'd chose her stripping career over a man any day.

You should read this MTV story about the Lily Allen-Perez Hilton Twitter spat only because it's hilariously sad.

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Eternal Hardons Landing Men in ER

Bedpost Beta Will Make You Feel Like The Slut You Really Are

No Foreplay For You

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Lily Allen

Pic via Drunken Stepfather

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Lily Allen

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 21:09:00 GMT

Lily Allen, I don't know your music. Lily Allen, I'm not even sure why you're famous-- I believe there were some hit singles a few years back and your most recent song is #1 in Britain right now. But #1 hits don't mean anything these days... you really need a good topless scandal... or a pregnancy... or a public spat with Elton John...

Okay, you've done all those things...

Your topless scandal was boring though, since you had died your hair a hideous blond tint. The fight with Elton John was in poor taste because you expressed your tacky love for cocaine. But all is forgiven, Lily Allen, because you have gone back to being incredibly hot.

Last night, Lilly performed at the Bowery Ballroom in New York City as part of one of those fake "secret shows" MySpace has been doing. (Remember MySpace? It was that thing that was hot that one time?) She wore a dress that revealed so little, even this pervy photographer for Brooklyn Vegan couldn't get a crotch shot. And that's just another reason for us to love her all the more...

Via BrooklynVegan.

Related:

Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Lily Allen Invents Another Use for Google

Enterprising Teenager Amasses Collection of Solicited Nude Photos

While You Were Sleeping: Lily Allen in the Fight of Her Life

Will You Be Our Sexy Valentine?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:26:00 GMT

Prepare yourself... Valentine's Day is coming, which means you'll be subjected to 10,824 posts about it between now and the weekend.

You can bribe us into near silence, though, by buying and sending us one of these sexy V-Day gifts...

The old cliche/joke here at Scanner is that we're all secret lesbians, so it's only natural we would turn to GO Magazine, the monthly publication for gay ladies in various American cities. This month, they've published a multi-page portfolio of the greatest of this year's V-Day sex toys and other treats we've been too naughty not to receive:

1) The Forever Yours Vibe

2) The Pink Kink Kit. Says Babeland:

Bondage beginner? You’ll find sugar and spice and everything naughty in our super-sexy, non-intimidating Pink Kink Kit, making bondage affordable, fashionable and very appealing. An innocent pink mesh bag holds a heart-emblazoned, comfortable leather blindfold, an adorable pink leather 11” whip with a teasing sting, and a snap-to-fit leather collar that reads SEXY (as if it weren’t obvious!).

3) Two-Person Home Sauna. Ever had sex in a sauna? We're not sure if that one time was a daydream or the real thing, but either way, it wasn't worth this $3,000 price tag. Although, hey, if you're buyin'...

4) Dirty Dolls Lingerie

Check out all 23 pages of selections from GO Magazine.

Botulism, Abortion, And A Woman's Right To Choose

The Gamer Next Door Models Your Last-Minute Gifts

Hooters Fires Physically-Abused Waitress For Not Looking Hot Enough

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 22:51:00 GMT

All Sara Dye, 27, wanted from Hooters was her job back-- or, if she couldn't have that, the unemployment benefits she was due under Iowa state law. However, her ex-employer fought her all the way through trial, desperate to prevent her from receiving the few hundred dollars (we're guessing) she was owed.

Not only that, but Dye hadn't done anything deliberate that warranted a sacking-- unless you count picking the Boyfriend or Husband From Hell...

Dye was hospitalized, battered and bruised, following several unspecified instances of "domestic abuse," according to The Des Moines Register. Dye met with the Davenport Hooters management and all parties agreed she was not well enough to work-- because of her appearance, of course. God forbid horny perverts see anything other than a bunch of flawless Barbie dolls worshiping at their feet, waiting for wings orders. In fact, it's written in the Hooters manual that a hostess (Dye's job) must maintain a "glamorous appearance."

When Dye was unable to heal fast enough, she was prevented from returning to work. When she asked another employee what the deal was, the employee told Dye she had been fired. Thankfully, a judge sided with the victim and awarded her the benefits. But, good Lord, was it worth it, Hooters?

Our handbook states you have to have a glamorous appearance. It doesn't actually say, 'Bruises on your face are not allowed.' It does talk about the all-American cheerleader look."

Sheedy said Dye could now resume working at Hooters, assuming she maintained a glamorous appearance.

"She told me that she was very badly beaten, she (had been) unconscious, she was in the hospital," Duvall said. "She was like, 'I really want to work next week. ...' I said, 'You need to come in and speak to Gina and let her see your appearance.'"

God bless America.

Related:

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Man Celebrates His 100th Birthday at Hooters

Hooters, Like Cockroaches, Will Survive the Apocalypse... And The Olympics

No, Wait, the Lithuanian Playboy Calendar Is What We Really Wanted

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 15:50:00 GMT

The year's almost over and we came this close to missing out on the best all-female nude calendar of 2009... oddly enough, it's one photographer's set for Lithuanian Playboy...

Here we present the best of the best, plus...

...one outtake, which you won't see anywhere else.

All photos via photographer Gediminas Zilinskas, whose website is here and features a tremendous selection of tasteful nudes.

Related:

Top 5 Sex Scenes From... 2007

Sexy Priest: The 2009 Calendar... From the Vatican

Sasha Grey Completely Naked in New American Apparel Ad

Lingerie Football Linebacker Sues Ex For Leaking Her Nude Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 18:49:00 GMT

Melissa Berry, a linebacker for the lingerie football league (for some reason, the words "linebacker" and "lingerie" don't go together in our brains), is suing her ex for 15 g's after it was discovered he posted photos of her giving a blow job.

We may have to side with him on this one: since we can't seem to find any records of the nude photos online (and unless someone sends us a link, damn it), we have to suspect they were never there in the first place. However, given this guy's profession, we almost hope this story is true...

According to various news outlets, Mark Dawson, the 45-year-old ex in question, is a "safe dating expert." (Lesson Number One: Don't Let Your Boyfriend Have Possession of Your Nude Photos.) After Berry dumped his sorry ass, Dawson decided to get revenge by showing the photos, which were on his cell phone; somehow, Berry got ahold of the phone and smashed it to pieces. Her former lover responded by demanding $500 for the device's replacement; when this wasn't provided, he started forwarding the nude photos of Berry. Recipient #? Berry's mother.

Recipient's #2 through infinity would be the internet, if, again, anyone ever actually saw the photos before they were pulled. Based on the claim by Berry's attorney that they feature his client engaged in a “particularly private, intimate sexual act,” we can imagine they involve something like the below photo, only more naked-er.

Related:

This Blog Has Been Rated NC-17

Men's Health Knows (almost nothing about) What To Say To A Naked Woman

Top 5 Sex Scenes From... 2007

More Olga Kurylenko Nude Photos Surface

Sasha Grey Completely Naked in New American Apparel Ad

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 16:56:00 GMT

We always wondered when advertisements would feature nothing but naked woman and the name of the product ("Cheerios, brought to you by a naked Heidi Klum in a barren studio.") We shouldn't have been surprised to see it happening so soon, and with Sasha Grey and American Apparel the culprits...

The above and below photos play in an even-more NSFW version on a blog promoting American Apparel ads. The only indication they are an ad at all (and not a flash version of one of Grey's pornos) is the American Apparel logo at the end... and the fact that she is wearing yellow socks... in two of the shots...

According to this blog, written by Nerve's own Susannah Breslin, which has the fullest version of the Flash ad, the photo shoot was done by the same woman responsible for this memorable billboard:

Related:

More Olga Kurylenko Nude Photos Surface

The Gamer Next Door Models Your Last-Minute Gifts

Better Than Porn: Whiskerino

Top 5 Sex Scenes From... 2007

While You Were Sleeping: Mexican Beauty Queen Stripped... Of Her Title

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 14:03:00 GMT

Players and connoisseurs of music, Thelonious Monk's advice on playing in his band is an essential look at a mad genius.

Never been kissed? These kooks hadn't either, so they decided to make out in public and then tell the Daily News their real names.

Courtney Love and the Kardashians are at war...

Courtney Love faces possible legal action after accusing socialite Kim Kardashian's brother Rob of punching one of her gay employees.
In an angry rant on her MySpace page written on Wednesday, Love alleged that Kardashian's brother Rob Jr. broke the nose of her employee while calling him a "faggot" in September.

Love writes: "Rob Jr. cold socked and punched my employee right in his face for no reason and broke his nose after my guy was hanging out with his pal Brody Jenner one night outside Hyde lounge."

Talk about adding insult to injury: not only is he named Mike Hunt, but the internet makes fun of his name when he's murdered.

At last, CNN does something good with its website: it reports on a 17-year-old Maryland kid who heard about violence against Sudanese women who go looking for firewood and decided to raise money to send them stoves.

The war between Lindsay Lohan and her father, and her father and Samantha Ronson, rages on.

A Mexican beauty queen lost her title after getting caught up in a drug sweep.

$100,000 worth of cashews were stolen in Sydney yesterday.

And rumors involving the possible engagement of Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen turn out to have been false (we think.)

Cops Stripped Of Duties After Wild Hooker Party

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:53:00 GMT

Imagine you're a cop in Australia. How is it possible you're able to carry out your duties with the high-quality gene pool there?

Who could blame the cops in the country's Northern Territory for growing restless while on patrol and stopping off at the Hooker Ball for a grope and grind?

According to the local media in Darwin, NT, the two cops were removed from street work after compromising photographs turned up from an annual pimps-and-hoes-themed costume party in the sleepy capital. They were supposed to be checking the club for crime, drunken antics, and proper licensing, but instead got a couple of lapdances and delivered one or two spankings. What, does Darwin want its cops to be asexual or-- worse-- un-fun?

As these pictures prove, the coppers had no other choice. They should be exonerated.

Sloppy Seconds: Prostitution Is Now Rape in the U.K.?

The Second Life Divorce Gets Funnier After The Split

10-Year-Old Boy Is the Lone Protester of Nude Sunbathing

More Olga Kurylenko Nude Photos Surface

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 21:01:00 GMT

When Olga Kurylenko appeared onscreen during Quantum of Solace for the first time, we had two thoughts: "Wow, that was the first time we've seen a Bond girl naked before her career took off" and "She's so much more attractive without all the bad lighting and photoshopping offscreen..."

These photos prove that, as bad as Marc Forster's storytelling technique was, at least he made Olga look hotter than she does in these lousy pictorals...

Not that we're complaining about these photos, but they don't do her justice.

From various sources.

Related:

Olga Kurylenko: "My Treasure Trove of Topless Photos Don't Count As Porn"

Top 10 Bond Girls Of All-Time

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Because You Know You Want to Make Sexy Time With That Camera

Emily Farris — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 19:58:00 GMT

We know you like to look at us. Well, you at least like to look at what we write. Your reaction when we post pictures of ourselves tends to vary. Anyway, what we're getting at is that we want to look at you, or at least look at pictures you've taken—if you're an exceptional photo blogger that is.

You see, Nerve is looking for guest bloggers for our new photo blog that will feature a new photographer each month.

Guest Photo Blogger
Nerve is looking for exceptional photographers with a distinguished, tasteful and saucy set of eyes to be guest photo bloggers.

Position Description:
Guest photo bloggers will blog on Nerve.com's new guest photo blog section for one month starting in 2009. This new section will act as a revolving door for talent and to showcase various visual points of view.

Requirements:
You must be an active blogger with a variety of fresh, engaging, and refined variety of subject matter.

How to Apply:
If you’re a photo blogger who would like to be featured on our Photographers site., we’d like to see the following:
1. Your own personal blog site.
2. A CV (.pdf files only please) attached to the email.
3. Samples of your work (samples from your website/blog/ blog address/ etc.)
4. Your thoughts/ideas/ about what your blog would entail for a month.

NOTE: You must be over 18.
Models featured in your images must be 18 or older, and have appropriate model releases.

Send all the above with "GUEST PHOTO BLOGGER" in the SUBJECT HEADER to PHOTO (AT) NERVE (DOT) COM.

[Image]

Rice University's Sex Magazine A Slap in the Face to Houston Elite

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:47:00 GMT

Conservatives don't want you to learn anything about sex, because that would lead to fulfilling marriages... and we all know that happy people don't listen to right-wing talk radio.

Parents of Rice University students are trying to figure out how to put a stop to a student-run magazine that openly (hence the title, seen above) discusses sex, as if twenty-one-year-olds should be allowed to talk about it, let alone have it...

Open, the Houston-based publication in question, has already received national attention for depicting nude female students in its pages. But the fact that the school hasn't been able to plug the loopholes the publishers have squeezed through hasn't stopped parents from pursuing other actions. Students aren't all filled with immature glee either:

The content of the 68-page magazine included articles, poems and short fiction with titles such as "Abstinence-Only Education Is Anything But," "Health and Body" and "Exploring Health Benefits of Sex."
The publication debuted on Rice's campus and in nearby businesses last spring to a mostly positive, albeit shocked, student reaction, Solnick said. [ABC News]

You can check out the magazine here and decide for yourself if these kids are up t'no good...

Related:

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes - the Sequel

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: The Top 5

Sloppy Seconds: Flavor of the Week

The English Are Still Too Prudish To Appreciate Nudity

Harvard Student Publishes Porn Mag... Featuring Only Himself

Sexy Priest: The 2009 Calendar... From the Vatican

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:59:00 GMT

While we have so far been able to track down a reputable online source for the 2009 Men's Rugby calendar we wrote about the other day, perhaps this will make up for it.

Or perhaps not. Priests-- hot or not?

We're surprised Ratzinger signed off on this one, even though it isn't the least bit offensive, sacreligious, or, well, stimulating. Of course, since treating celibate religious figures as sex objects may not be in keeping with the Vatican's puritannical mindset, we're betting whoever produced these for the tiny nation's gift shop snuck the supply in under the radar...

The above twosome feature in this year's edition of the 2009 Calendario Romano, available via this e-mail address. And although this website's Scanner-worthy English describes the calendar as "the most typical souvenir from Rome," we think this is most decidedly a venture only Vatican City could have undertaken...

Today in Sweden: Teen Sex For Booze On The Rise

More Nude Rugby Calendar Dudes For The Holidays

Now Sweden Has Its Very Own Orgasm Church

"The Real World: Facebook" or Scanner Emily vs. The Mormons

Dita Von Teese in German Playboy - the Sequel

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:12:00 GMT

Last week, we leaked what turned out to be a cropped photo from Dita Von Teese's stunning fourth photo shoot for Playboy, this time for the German edition.

We set out to right that wrong with the following pics...

Kim Cattrall: The Magically Naked 52-Year-Old Woman

Guitar Hero. Then Guitar Hero: World Tour. And Now: Vagina Hero!

The 15 Most Promiscuous Countries

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 10-6

The English Are Still Too Prudish To Appreciate Nudity

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:11:00 GMT

Based on the public outcry surrounding a university student's nude photo in a collegiate newspaper, some Brits are clearly in possession of long-dormant puritanical streaks.

The unnamed 21-year-old blond from Homerton College, wearing lingerie sans top, posed for the third page of Vivid Magazine, an anonymous Cambridge University publication, apparently a riff on the Sun's regular feature of Page 3 Girls...

Unfortunately, no fully nude photos have leaked onto the web, but we do have a blurry one for you:

"I can't believe she agreed to pose for the magazine. Everyone has been talking about it. I'm sure she must really regret it now."
"Lots of students and professors have seen this. It's a very risky thing to do when you are studying at one of the top universities in the country." [News Locale]

People, we shouldn't wonder whether this kind of thing will hurt her academic career. We should be celebrating the fact that she had the guts to go topless in a magazine that only her fellow academics would read. To be able to hold your head up and not care what these people think after a stunt like this is a very valuable life goal...

Photos via Hotties in the News.

20-Year-Old Teacher Strips For Her Students

While You Were Sleeping: Nude Photo Hoax

Harvard Student Publishes Porn Mag... Featuring Only Himself

Megan Fox Is So Hot Right Now, GQ Can Just Recycle Her Photos Every Month

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:41:00 GMT

Megan Fox, who will not be playing Wonder Woman, despite previous reports, and was the only woman shortlisted for GQ's Man of the Year is still the #1 woman on the internet. (Well, except for Keeley Hazel. And Sarah Palin. And... and... never mind.)

But no one drives up traffic like Megan Fox-- or, more importantly-- Megan Fox in a bikini...

According to One India:

American actress Megan Fox has been listed as the hottest babe on the planet in Chickipedia's latest 100 hottest women list yet again. Chickipedia, which is the world's largest web-based, wiki-based database of hot women on the planet, released the Top 100 most-searched for women in the month of October, the Daily Telegraph reported.

This is the second year that Fox has topped the list, with the second place going to Hugh Hefner''s No 1 ex-girlfriend Holly Madison. The most-searched for female survey saw Keeley Hazell in third position, while new Aussie girls ‘The Veronicas’ were at number six. The new list also saw Madonna and Victoria Beckham being dropped and replaced by US Republican IT girl Sarah Palin and her alter ego, Tina Fey.

Good riddance to Madonna and Victoria-- but Holly Madison? Bland as New York is fucking freezing today.

In celebration of Fox's latest victory, GQ has unleashed more of the photos that made her a huge star and, for no reason whatsoever, we're passing them along to you:

Tips From A Stripper: On Saving The Environment

Who is GQ's Man of the Year? (File Under: Duh)

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

Yes, We'd Like A Lifetime Supply of Pronto Condoms, Please

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Happiness by the Numbers: Sex and TV

Dita Von Teese Graces Us With These Playboy Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 19:06:00 GMT

Marilyn Manson, are you reading this? What were you thinking, hombre? This woman only gets better with age....

After the jump, an exclusive-to-the-'net photo from Dita's session for Germany's Playboy... plus some classic goodness to balance things out...

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Top 5 Celebrities Who May Or May Not Be Attractive: Part One

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 16:43:00 GMT

You ever hear a friend raving and drooling about a celebrity that you check out and say, "Why the hell are you attracted to that person?" (Fess up, Backstreet Boys anti-fans.)

Sometimes it's the media trying to make a hottie out of a starlet or reality show contestant forced on them by an overworked publicist. Or it's a massively successful makeup team turning a Plain Jane/Joe into a model so that the readers of Us Weekly can reassure themselves that they, too, can be prince(sse)s.

First up: the Ladies Edition.

5. Ivanka Trump. The fact that she's even related to the Donald is strike one-- strike two are the similar features to him, which is too creepy for us. Nonetheless, she's classy, self-assured, and apparently without a monstrous ego, which is more than we can say for most people.

4. Angie Stone. Great singer, looks snazzy in a hat, and her music doesn't depress the shit out of us. That's all gotta account for something. But, as with the rest of these choices, we can't decide whether she's attractive or not.

3. Mariah Carey. This would've been a no-brainer if we'd showed a screenshot of her video for the "Fantasy" single (maybe it's being brought up on The Dukes of Hazzard, but we've always had a thing for jean shorts and short shorts), but nowadays, with the fake boobs, terrible movies, and the other fiascos, we're not feelin' it anymore...

2. Nicky Hilton. We're learning toward the "not" on the "Hot or Not" scale of things, but it does help that she has beautiful eyes and is not her sister in almost every imaginable way, which probably makes her more appealing than she would be otherwise.

1. Alanis Morrisette. How many times have you gone out with someone and kept it going because you thought the person was an awesome conversationalist and you didn't want to lose that? That's the likely predicament we'd find ourselves in if we ever ended up dating Alanis-- she's well-read, world weary, and able to hold her own over a couple of vodka cranberry's until the wee hours... which may be why we'd rather best friend her than anything else. (Con: She dated Ryan Reynolds. Ouch.)

(P.S. We didn't include Britney Spears on this list because there's no question that she is not currently appealing on any level.)

What do you think? Are we crazy for not wanting to get it on with all these very pretty women? And who did we miss?

Top photo (of Charlize Theron) via Esquire. By the way, in case you were wondering, Charlize Theron is unquestionably hot.

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Some of the Hottest Women in the Country All Got Naked Together

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:12:00 GMT

For 40 smackers (in today's, you know, perfect economy), a copy of Timothy White's Hollywood Pinup could be yours. And, let us say, based on all available evidence, it would surely be worth your bottom dollar.

However, you would do almost as well just to see all the best photos from its steamy pages, after the jump...

Batting first is Angie Harmon, who we're pretty sure voted for John McCain yesterday. Luckily for her, she has other redeeming ass-pects to her personality...

Up next is the always jailbait-looking 23-year-old Michelle Trachtenberg:

Kate Hudson, you probably have a pretty decent personality, but how can we pay any attention to that when you pose for see-through ass shots?

You can see Susan Sarandon here and a nearly-butt-naked Rebecca DeMornay here. Meanwhile, we'll leave you with Mary-Kate Olsen... who normally we want nothing to do with. (We're in that minority of guys who think it's creepy to lust after the Olsen twins. Nonetheless, enjoy!)

Ah... now we get it.

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Sloppy Seconds: Phillies Fan Gives Her Team A Big Boost

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:29:00 GMT

Vietnam believes small chests are unhealthy and that thin people shouldn't operate motor vehicles. Believe it or not, this is a health initiative.

T.I. voted in Georgia, despite being a convicted felon and a guy we didn't think would ever show up to vote.

This top 10 list of "Things I Hate Absolutely Hate About Heteronormative Dating" doesn't always hit the nail on the head, but these entries we can agree with:

3. If you show emotion too early on or too much of it, you are needy.

8. If you have sex too early you ruined it.

9. If you don't have sex early on you are a prude.

The rest can be found here.

A man stole a male "enhancement" cream (in quotes because it doesn't do anything-- or so we've heard, we swear), tried it out in the store's bathroom, failed to satisfy himself, checked out the Barbie dolls, exposed himself in the aisle, and returned to the bathroom to try again. Yep, that's pretty much all there is to that story.

This guy is either drunk or a McCain campaign worker trying to muck things up.

That naughty Shakira... she made everything think she was pregnant, but it turned out it was just a publicity stunt for her new album. Blah.

And today's Miss CoEd at CoEd magazine is Erika Nicole, who really wants the Phillies to win tonight, so much show that she's willing to leak dozens of photos of herself in very little clothing to give the team a morale, um, boost.

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Italian Model's Virginity For Sale (And For Only $1.5 Million!)

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:28:00 GMT

If you could afford it, would you shell out a million-and-a-half for the right to be this woman's first terrible mistake?

Perhaps inspired by the well-publicized case of the American woman who has sold her virginity for (at least) $275,000, Italian model Raffella Fico has offered herself up for the princely sum of $1.5 million. You got it? Take a look at these photos from Fico's modeling career and let us know whether you'd fund her new house and "acting lessons." (Oh, brother... for that kind of money in the US, she could buy 40 homes in California and raise Marlon Brando from the dead for a weekend intensive.)

We're betting Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi has already called to inquire as to the location of the bidding.

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While You Were Sleeping: The Playboy Selection Process

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 13:07:00 GMT

When in Atlantic City, it's probably best not to approach total strangers about marijuana purchases:

Police said the drug deal went sour when the man took them to a desolate road in Egg Harbor Township near the Atlantic City International Airport, pulled and gun and forced them to strip before dumping their purses and robbing them.

Every time Obama speaks, an angel... has an orgasm?

How does Hugh Hefner choose his Playboy bunnies?

“We don’t go for glamour — what we are looking for is a very natural girl-next-door look,” he told Pop Tarts. “I think that’s what set things at the very beginning — what set the Playmate centerfolds apart.”
“Scarlett Johansson and Angelina Jolie,” he said [are the hottest women in the world.]

Damien Hirst sold a painting of a pickled shark for almost ten million pounds. We're not sure what a pickled shark is, but it sounds mighty tasty!

Comedian Al Franken is tied with incumbent Senator Norm Coleman in Minnesota's hottest (not in the "sexy") race.

Speaking of SNL, Amy Poehler is not returning to the show after her planned maternity leave.

And what do we think of Katherine McPhee's outfit? Hot or... dreadful?

Photo via Egotastic.

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Rachelle Leah Is Playboy's November Cover Girl

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 17:55:00 GMT

Can Playboy still make its cover girls famous? Could it ever?

We'd never heard of Rachelle Leah, who hosts UFC All Access on Spike, until it was announced she was next month's cover star, although we're pretty sure this means we'll be sick to death of her by the time the issue hits the streets...

Doesn't she remind you of Kate Beckinsale... or Kate Beckinsale cloned together with Victoria Beckham? Perhaps not so much in the below photos, from last year's Stuff Magazine sessions:

Don't worry, we'll post the Playboy photos as soon as one of you leaks them to us... in the meantime, enjoy!

More photos here.

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Are You One Of The Sexy People?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:44:00 GMT

In what will surely become the next blog-to-book success story, the Sexy People blogspot page has taken off, thanks to some of these hilarious submissions...

Sexy People wants you, too, to e-mail your greatest (read: most embarrassing) family portraits to: sexypipol@gmail.com. As site leader Renzo put it, "it's gonna be $tucazzopendo!" Here's what we consider stuca-whatever...

This guy's like Ashton Kutcher if he'd never landed That 70s Show.

And she's like Six Feet Under's Lilli Taylor in, well, any of her movies...

As for them... the first words that flashed across our minds were: "Wilson Phillips."

More via Sexy People.

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