Scanner : sexy people

PETA's Insane Sexiest Vegetarian Alive Voting

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 15 May 2009 15:37:00 GMT

The People For the Ethical Treatment of Tasty Animals, already riding a small wave of publicity from its Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door (read: "nobody activists") competition, has decided to steal a page from People Magazine and follow-up with The Sexiest Vegetarian Alive (read: "celebrities.")

We're pretty sure that they nominated, um, every single vegetarian in Hollywood...

See what we mean at this link. The lists, separated by gender, are far too epic to reproduce here. We've narrowed it down for you, with our favorites, with some tasty photo spreads to help ya out...

The Women:
Alyssa Milano

Bryce Dallas Howard
Christie Brinkley
Cloris Leachman
Emmy Rossum

Erykah Badu

Hayden Panettiere
Jenna Jameson (!)
Kristen Wiig
Thora Birch

The Men:
Alec Baldwin
Anthony Kiedis
Casey Affleck

Forest Whitaker
Jared Leto
Kevin Bacon
Leonard Nimoy
Morrissey
Prince

Thom Yorke
Tobey Maguire

And just so you know: as of this writing, Kevin Bacon's leading everyone. Hot damn, who'da thunk it? (Last year, the winner was Anthony Kiedis, which was indeed a surprise to us.)

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Video of Jessica Biel Nude Scenes in Powder Blue, Compiled!

Drew Grant — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:33:00 GMT

Jessica Biel may be too busy crunching her abs or making sweet, sweet love to Justin Timberlake to comment on the apparently excessive nudity featured in her new film, Powder Blue, but that didn't stop some genius from putting together a montage of all Biel's best "acting," moments in the Christma-hooker drama. Watch her strip to Cat Power (no seriously, Biel got duped into starring in my freshman year boyfriend's Cinema 101 project), after the jump.

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Maxim's Ten Sexiest Women of 2009

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 May 2009 20:01:00 GMT

It's that time of the year again, apparently: publicists have bribed, starlets have stripped, dudes have drooled, and Maxim men have spoken: the 100 sexiest women of the year, as voted by guys who equate skankiness with sex appeal, are here for your leering amusement...

10. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Just a few weeks ago, it seems, men were dissing The Ghost Whisperer for her "cellulite thighs." Ah, but how quickly does Photoshop make one forget...

9. Jordana Brewster. She was in the recent Fast & Furious blockbuster sensation. Yep... moving on...

8. Rihanna. Here's a woman we go back and forth on all the time. While she's arguably very sexy at time, we were in a Best Buy recently and caught a live DVD of hers on one of the monitors. Besides Britney Spears, we've never seen a pop star perform so lifelessly and in fitting tribute to how awful her manufactured music is. She could've at least pretended those songs would stand the tests of time...

7. Adriana Lima. The writers don't help their cause by calling Lima hotter than Gisele Bundchen, her Brazillian/Victoria's Secret counterpart. Lima is one hot mama, but you'd have to be crazy to think anyone can compete with Gisele, arguably the last of the supermodels.

6. Eliza Dushku. We predicted, what with the relatively inexplicable press she gets from these men's magazines, Dushku would've topped this year's charts. Guess Dollhouse is going to get canceled after all...

5. Mila Kunis. Here's one we can get behind-- not in that way, sicko. When Kunis stepped away from the shadows of That 70's Show, she was reborn as full-blown, modern-day sex bomb with more than half-a-brain. Thank God, because her sex appeal as the dumpy dippy hippie chick on That Show was a bit overrated...

4. Malin Akerman. Another wise choice, although we much prefered the Watchmen star with the Uma Thurman-in-Pulp Fiction dark 'do.

3. Bar Rafaeli. Without question, Leonardo DiCaprio's paramour (seen at the top of this post) is the breakout modeling sensation of 2009. In just the last five months, she's graced the cover of The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar, created one fake "cheating" scandal, and landed in the top 3 of Maxim's countdown, all without a single mainstream media interview or mention in an SNL skit. However, we're predicting she's a token choice, to be replaced next year by the next manufactured sensation.

2. Megan Fox. You knew last year's #1 would be this year's #2-- that's just the way it goes... they wouldn't sell any magazines if it was the same old used-up 18-year-old every time, right? (Kidding.) Obviously, the polls closed prior to yesterday's announcement that Fox has officially called herself "bi-sexual," as that might have skewed the vote from that, uh, demographic.

1. Olivia Wilde. "The pulse-quickening internist played by Olivia Wilde on House, M.D. is named Thirteen (which we presume is out of 10) and has a terminal illness that causes her to dabble in drugs and casual sex." Maxim then tries to make a case that "ah, we see her first!" by citing a series of walk-on roles in shows like The O.C. They should have used her real name to excite themselves over instead: "Olivia Jane Cockburn." By the way, believe it or not, but Wilde is only 25 years old-- doesn't she look much more mature, in a good way, of course?

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Megan Fox Strips to Underwear for Esquire, Fancy New Camera

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 18:52:00 GMT

Megan Fox doesn't have anything to promote these days, but that never stops "gentleman rags" from running hot photos of her in an effort to "boost" their "circulation."

This time, however, her appearance on the cover of Esquire, and subsequent shots of her in her underwear, have something to do with Fox's promotion of the semi-new Red Cameras...

Here's what Esquire had to say about using the RedONE on this shoot:

For the first time in Esquire's history (and, we imagine, magazine history in general), a cover image was shot as a video. Using the RedONE, a video camera that captures images at four times the resolution of high-definition, photographer-director Greg Williams recorded ten minutes of loosely scripted footage with Fox — getting out of bed, rolling around on a pool chair, inexplicably lighting a barbecue. "It allowed her to act," Williams says. "She could run scenes without being reminded by the sound of a shutter every four seconds that I was taking a picture. As in still photography, a lot of it is capturing unexpected moments. This takes that one step further."

This, by the way, is the same camera that Che, Angels and Demons, and My Bloody Valentine 3D were shot with. It is rather revolutionary... despite the conventional use of Megan Fox to promote it.

Via Esquire-- these photos will be available on May 10th on newsstands everywhere.

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Hot or Not: Playboy's 10 Sexiest CEO's

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 06 May 2009 20:28:00 GMT

We're not sure how Playboy's (sadly) Safe For Work list of the ten "sexiest" female CEO's in the US qualifies as "sexiest" or even "sexy." Maybe it's the fact that these women probably make lots of money that appeals to the writer.

Even if you think these are ten incredibly hot babes, it's hard to see what's so appealing about seeing them on the Playboy site in their ~~birthday~~ business suits.

For example, check out the standouts:

Who she is: Julie Smolyansky [see above photo]
CEO of: Lifeway Foods; makers of kefir and other specialty dairy products
Age: 33
2008 revenue: $38.7 million
Year founded: 1986
Website: lifeway.net

Why she’s on top: Julie became CEO, treasurer and president when her father, the founder, died of a sudden heart attack. She went back to work the next morning, and under her direction the company more than quadrupled its stock price. A fitness junkie, she ends every day with a trip to the gym. It's obvious to us that all her investments are yielding impressive returns.

What, no lingerie photos or mock-Got Milk? shots from her session? And no punning remarks?

This one has the lingerie connection and a porn star's last name, but... no luck:

Who she is: Claire Chambers
CEO of: Journelle, a lingerie retail company
Age: 29
2008 revenue: $2 million
Year founded: 2007
Website: journelle.com

Why she's on top: After spending a few years in the buttoned-up worlds of management consulting and investment banking, she slipped into something a little more comfortable: lingerie. Now she spends her days letting women everywhere know that sexy and sophisticated underthings aren't just for special occasions, they're the kind of luxury they should indulge in every day. We couldn’t agree more.

This one's more like it... but... still lacking in the NSFW department:

Who she is: Kerry Knee
CEO of: Flirty Girl Fitness, a fitness lifestyle company
Age: 38
Number of employees: 120
Year founded: 2005
Website: flirtygirlfitness.com

Why she's on top: A former IT exec and calculus major from Toronto, Kerry—and her sister Krista—opened Flirty Girl Fitness as a social club where women can sweat hard in classes like Hottie Body Boxing and XXX Power Strip, then play hard at the "Flirty Girl Bar" afterward. We're burning calories just thinking about it.

See all 10 of the women at Playboy.com.

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Rolling Stone Somehow Convinces Sasha Grey to-- Gasp-- Pose Nude

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 05 May 2009 20:42:00 GMT

Rolling Stone jumped on the Sasha Grey-mainstream-breakout bandwagon this week when it featured the porn star-turned-legit-actress in its most recent issue.

Although Grey is a highly intelligent individual, capable of captivating a reader with her hard-earned wisdom, it's obvious no one's buying this magazine, as they say, "for the articles..."

In her featured profile, the 21-year-old scream queen (of the other kind) discussed the thing she hates most about her day job:

Sasha Grey is the adult industry’s reigning princess of porn, a rock & roll 21-year-old with an actual mission statement — “Most of the XXX I see is boring, and does not arouse me physically or visually. I am determined and ready to be a commodity that fulfills everyone’s fantasies” — and few taboos.
“I don’t need to see genitalia up close; I don’t need to see a dirty yellow couch against a white wall. I want to see something different, like this is not exciting to me."
"If you look at me and you think 'Here’s a woman who’s intelligent, cognizant and making her own choices, and you still tell me that what I’m doing is wrong, screw you, because that should end the debate.'"

The article goes on to mention Grey's ten years of acting lessons and her interest in breaking into Hollywood-- but not by doing Michael Bay-type Blockbusters. She wants to be an indie darling along the lines of a Parker Posey or Lili Taylor. What do you think? Is it too late to save Sasha or are porn stars the next superstars?

We've been reading Rolling Stone for years and this is the first time we've seen a (celebrity) nipple. Click on the photos for larger images.

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10 Sexiest Women Over 50 (Part Two)

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:56:00 GMT

We continue our two-part series with some of the screen's top stars... some of whom are still box office draws, despite what the media wants you to believe...

Helen Mirren, 63

Helen Mirren never has to worry about studly husband/director leaving her for one of his younger leading ladies, since none of them can hold a candle to her talent, classiness, sex appeal, and status as an Academy Award-winning screen legend. The above photograph of the star in her bikini last year lit up internet wires across the globe-- for example, our traffic went through the roof the day we posted it. Thank you, Helen Mirren, for being our muse.

Carly Simon, 63

It's been a long time since James Taylor spotted Carly Simon's "incredible long legs" passing by on a summer day in a small Massachusetts town. Since then, she wrote a song about him, "You're So Vain," (or was it Warren Beatty?), won several Grammy's, topped the charts a million times over, and developed a solo career that has long outpaced her (now ex-)husband's. Simon and her gloriously pretty teeth and, we're guessing, still-dynamo gams continue to record and tour... but not often enough.

Susan Sarandon, 62

Tim Robbins whined about not being able to vote as his regular polling site last November, which must've made him feel really ridiculous when he woke up the next morning and realized, "Holy balls! Forget all my troubles-- I'm still sleeping next to the babe from Bull Durham any Playboy's best boobs 1981!" Speaking of those marvelous mams, it's difficult to pull off a dress like that at any age, let alone hers, without causing a media (i.e. tabloid journalism) firestorm, but here she is in all her glory...

Meryl Streep, 59

If anyone out there worries about how their "looks" will hold up at the age of 59, just take a gander at the Before and After photos of Streep depicted above. She is one of the greatest actors of all time, rivaling Olivier and Hepburn, and draws hundreds of millions in box office every year as one of the biggest names on the planet. But more importantly, at least for our purposes here, Streep is somehow more beautiful than even in 1977, when we first saw her in Julia. Can a nude, comic romp in a "getting old and falling in love" movie with Jack Nicholson be far behind?

Pam Grier, 59

Can you believe there's an African-American actress in her fifties who made a major comeback more than ten years ago and is still a major star, albeit on television, as she approaches her 60th birthday? Well, you wouldn't know it from the media. The announcement that she was joining the cast of the Showtime series the L Word was met with little tongue-wagging. Of course, that all changed the moment we saw how drop-dead gorgeous she remains-- not to mention the collective sigh of relief when it turned out the show's writers weren't going to blaxploitate her into irrelevancy. We eagerly await her next career move now that the show is sadly off the air.

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10 Sexiest Women Over 50 (Part One)

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:29:00 GMT

With the release of two more Michelle Obama-led magazine covers this month, we started to wonder that, if forty is fabulous, what happened to adoration for fifty-year-old women? Seriously, besides this month's essence, which features 45-year-old Obama and her 71-year-old mother, when was the last time you saw a fifty-plus woman on the cover of an American magazine? (AARP doesn't count, damn it.)

This list sets out to right that ridiculous wrong-- with ten famous women who can still sell magazines into their sixth decade...

By the way, this list is by no means complete-- we could easily do a top 100 over sexy women in their 50s from the land of the famous... and have plenty left over:

Cheryl Ladd, 57

Most recently of the James Caan-led Vegas show, Ladd could easily pass for ten years younger and more. What's extraordinary about her is her refreshing take on women who want to look younger:

I have no problem with plastic surgery. I have a problem with women who are 40 and 50 years old trying to look 20. That's when plastic surgery goes wonky. You can tweak what God gave you and freshen it up and look maybe eight to 10 years younger than what you are, but that's the limit. Otherwise it's just frightening what some woman are doing to themselves. They look masky and strange. [Pittsburgh Post-Gazette]

Diahann Carroll, 73.

This sadly, nearly-forgotten (well, at least by the obnoxious mainstream culture of nipple slips and big-ass-obsessed rap videos) Tony and Golden Globe award-winning actress and dancer, who famously dumped David Frost via her marriage announcement to another man, is without question one of the superficially excellent-looking women of all time. Exhibit A: the above two photos (including the one atop this post.) Exhibit B: notorious (bad dresser) and ragingly assholic Mr. Blackwell, who made one of his few good calls when he dubbed Ms. Carroll "possibly the most perfect woman" and the "all-time best-dressed woman." Amen.

Sharon Stone, 51

Yes, her boobs aren't real and, yes, she's kind of a wacko by all insider accounts from Hollywood, California, but let's not forget-- Sharon Stone is a good-looking fifty-one-year-old woman. We love that she has refused to step off the A-list and accept the usual "housewife or nun" Oscar bait roles and continues to lead major fundraisers for gay rights and other worthy causes. And even when she's in her 70s, we're betting you'll still picture the hottest sex scene in film history when you hear her name.

Nancy Wilson, 55

Nancy Wilson is the ultimate woman. There, I said it. She's a rock and roll badass, still making great music into her sixth decade on earth (take that, pretty much everyone!), became a mom just under ten years ago, and, well, it's irrelevant whether she's still attractive, although she very much is. Wilson will always have a place in our hearts for marrying that big romantic lug Cameron Crowe, who says even today that he cannot quite believe that knockout from Heart wanted anything to do with a Nice, Dopey Guy like him.

Sally Field, 62

Sally Field was once so sexy, she was able to fend off marriage offers from Burt Reynolds at his peak. More importantly, Sally Field is-- and feel free to disagree with me on this one, as I've been told I'm crazy-- she's even hotter now. Did you see her acceptance speech at the Emmy's in 2007? Not only was she jaw-droppingly gorgeous, but her acceptance speech (sorry for the offensive imagery, but it's true) stirred more than one of our body parts: "If the mothers ruled the world, there would be no goddamn wars in the first place!" Of course, FoxNews deleted this portion of the program...

Continue reading in Part Two...

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The PETA Empire Strikes Back

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:53:00 GMT

After a huge wave of justified negative press raked PETA over the coals last month, the activist organization has launched an all-out campaign blitch to redirect the attention to animal rights.

The People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals, it was confirmed, is guilty of euthanizing 90% of the animals in its care every year. Ingrid Newkirk's group (of mostly white American women in their early 20s) struck back this week with Audrina Partridge, Mike Ness of Social Distortion, and a wave of nudity worldwide...

In Kansas City, Missouri, two girls dressed as cave people and wielded fake human bones to tell pedestrians and passing drivers that fur is for cave people. That annoying asshole from the Geico commercials had no comment. In a Maryland suburb, two bikini girls were photographed cavorted in a tub full of some sort of red vat, parked across from a McDonald's. In England on Sunday, four girls stripped naked and climbed into a skimpy blue makeshift shower to protest (their belief) that eating one pound of meat is as damaging to the environment as six months of showering.

Following that, the group announced punk rocker Mike Ness had joined the movement and Audrina Partridge posed for a magazine ad in far more clothing than she might wear to a memorial service.

Via KC Blog. [Please right-click and set to open in a new tab/window.]

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FHM's Ten Sexiest Women of 2009: Hot or Not?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:01:00 GMT

Yesterday, Emily revealed FHM's sexiest woman in the world (2009 High-Bidding Publicist's Decision Edition, of course.) As usual, no one has ever heard of her, much as they had never heard of Megan Fox last year. Well, this time we can prove the vote was rigged because the winner doesn't have cache like appearing in a recent #1 blockbuster to help boost her rankings... she's just some random vaguely hot model that is on the rise...

10. Freida Pinto (she should've been higher, especially this year)

9. Anna Friel (can't believe they called the now-canceled Pushing Daisies "massive")

8. Kristin Kreuk (uh, she was on Smallville... and... uh... yeah, hasn't been heard from since)

7. Elisha Cuthbert (booorriing choices in this top 10)

6. Adriana Lima (heard of her, can't place her, moving on)

5. Keeley Hazell (wait, Keeley Hazell isn't as sexy as...)

4. Britney Spears (...automatically invalidating the entire list...)

3. Jessica Alba (when are men going to get tired of this untalented nobody?)

2. Megan Fox (the dethroned champion falls to...)

1. Cheryl Cole. Uh, apparently she was on a show called the X Factor and annoys Simon Cowell. If that's true, why isn't she tied for the top spot with Jennifer Hudson, who is far more attractive? Let's look at the photo evidence:

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Russians Like Big Butts, You Can't Deny

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:53:00 GMT

Russians always gotta be different. Sometimes they even take things that Americans love, like binge drinking, and escalate them to absurd levels of worship.

Case in point-- the new sexting craze that is taking Russkies by storm doesn't involve pornographic images (necessarily.) They have, however, taken their love of gigantic backsides to a whole new level of devotion...

After one girl, under the handle VILena, posted the below photo on one of the country's premiere social networking sites, a major cultural trend was born overnight:

This is the photo, which came our way in this censored form, that sparked the following mania:

Wait, what the fuck?

We promise to continue to ~~get to the bottom~~ stay on top of this, now known as Vilena, and other emerging sexual trends.

The call it “to make Vilena-style photo” - Vilena that’s the name of the first girl. By the way, this name has a Soviet origin. After the Communists took over in 1917 and their leader Lenin was a national hero many Russian young parents called their boys and girls after him using his initials and second name. Lenin’s full name was “Vladimir Iliich Lenin” - so new boyish name appeared “VILen” and girlish one two: “VILena”. There were also such names like “Vladlen” or “Vladlena” after “Vladimir Lenin”. [English Russia]

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Sexy Is As Sexy Does

Emily Farris — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:05:00 GMT

Face it, there are some people who are sexier than you will ever be. It is possible that this sexiness only exists in their own minds, but you know what? We'd rather occupy brain space thinking about how sexy we are than about how we're 20 pounds overweight and unattractive to the opposite sex. Luckily, the Sexy People blog (which we haven't visited in quite some time) brings all of those, well, sexy people together in one place for us to laugh at look at. We've included a few of our favorites (and even our own very sexy snapshot) after the jump.

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Fox News Wants To Sex You Up

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 19:58:00 GMT

Ah, yes, it's time to check in with the Sex Advice Column You All Love To Hate, mainly because it happens to be on FoxNews.com, features a non-manufactured cute doctor as its host, and was probably written in less time than it takes to read the posts we make fun of it in...

This week's column is entitled 7 Ways To Sex Up Your Partner's Libido. (#1 would be: "Have a threesome and leave the room when it starts.") Here's our breakdown of her bullet points:

1. Entice your partner with orgasm exploration. Believe it or not, you can have different kinds of orgasms, not just "good ones" and "I can tell that wasn't real."

2. Incorporate fantasy throughout the day. Send your partner a link to NaughtyAmerica.com and say, "Can we do that tonight?" Of course, it would help if the recipient of this e-mail were a guy.

3. Stay connected when you do have sex. "Don’t make sex about physical gratification alone. Truly worship your lover and hail the lovemaking as a celebratory experience ― one you can’t get enough of." Her words, not ours, but we have to say... "worship..." "hail [it] as a celebratory experience" should only be attempted by the best of actors.

4. Keep things novel and spicy in and out of the bedroom. In other words, get back in that kitchen and fix me a chicken pot pie. Or something.

5. Look your best. And you thought Fox News was going to tell you, "It's okay to be frumpy once you're married?" Remember, these are the same people who think Sarah Palin is a role model.

6. Engage in verbal foreplay. "I want you to do the dishes" and "Is it all right if I call you Antonio when we do it later?" don't count.

7. Consider how you size up sexual satisfaction. "Does sex always have to end in intercourse?" Female answer: "No." Male answer: "I thought sex was intercourse."

Read Yvonne K. Fulbright's actual talking points here.

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Men Have Been Waiting For These Jessica Biel Topless Photos Since 1997

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:39:00 GMT

Ever since the maturity of Jessica Biel, readers of Maxim and other perpetual droolers have been wondering "when is Jessica Biel gettin naked aready ??!?" Surprisingly, she wasn't holding out for a period piece or an Oscar-worthy performance as a nun-cum-prostitute in a Ron Howard movie.

The lucky winners are the producers of Powder Blue, which apparently boasts nothing else noteworthy, since no one even seems to know what the plot of this film is. Here's what we've retained from reading various blogs, press notes, and reviews: Powder Blue has its theatrical release in two weeks, and four weeks after that, the movie has its DVD release. This movie must be so atrocious that the filmmakers don't even hold out hope it's going to have a substantial box office take after a month.

Click on any of the following set of photos to get a new window, then you'll be able to blow these up to their full glory.

And even though these delightful pictures are easier on the eyes than, say, severely washed-out photos taken in a darkroom, that's exactly what the final cut looks like:

Members of the Perv Club... this is definitely our rental for the June meeting...

Coming to the Jersey Shore This Summer: Bottoms-Only Bikinis

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 17:28:00 GMT

Two Philly-area boutique owners are trying to start a new trend on the Jersey shore this summer: topless beachgoing.

They have managed to convince themselves they'll have no trouble unloading $75-200 bikini bottoms without including tops... and some people are convinced this is only the beginning of a new American trend. Several area media outlets picked up the story of the Jack & Jill Boutique in Old City, run by Anh Nguyen and partner Janice Lim, and trumpeted as the latest fad. We're guessing having Nguyen pose in the bikinis for one of the stories didn't hurt... although we're trying to figure out why she's wearing a top if she thinks it's so normal and cool...

MSNBC's reaction was similar to ours:

Since you're only buying half of a bathing suit you'll save money, right? Wrong! Each piece costs between $75 and $200. You can buy a matching cover-up and bikini top, too if flaunting your stuff isn’t your thing.

So, if that’s the case, can’t you just prance around topless in some bikini bottoms you already own? Save yourself the cash.

We're trying to figure out what these female business owners were thinking, promoting the idea of topless sunbathing in the state of New Jersey. Don't they know what the guys will do? These people still think Bon Jovi is a Genius, for God's sake. (Cue retaliatory comments from our fellow blogger, Jersey-Lovin' Colleen Kane, any moment now.)

But seriously, the woman pictured below has got a long road ahead of her if she's selling bottoms-only bikinis at those prices...

More of her here.

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Joss Stone Had An Ass Slip At Coachella

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 15:08:00 GMT

Joss Stone, the 22-year-old British soul singer, was added to the lineup of the Coachella just four days prior to her Saturday afternoon performance.

Perhaps she's now regretting not having had enough time to pick out an appropriate outfit for an outdoor peformance on an elevated stage...

This is why it's important to have security turn around once in a while and see what's going on onstage, if only for the performer's sake. As you can see, this is becoming a problem...

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Mel Gibson's Mistress Begins the Obligatory Photo Leak Phase of Her Stardom

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 21:33:00 GMT

Who is Oksana Pochepa and why is she, of all the women in Mel Gibson's life since his 28-year-long marriage began, the one to break up his happy union?

According to ShowBizSpy:

Oksana Pochepa claims that she had a romantic relationship with the 53-year-old actor and has now fallen in love.
“This is serious and I hope that our union will be real and strong and long-lasting,” she told British tabloid The Sun.
Pochepa also confirmed that she is the mystery brunette photographed kissing Gibson on a Costa Rican beach in March.
And according to Us Weekly, Gibson met Oksana last August when she was hired to compose a song for the actor’s upcoming thriller Edge of Darkness.

Wait, she's so big that American film producers asked her, a young Russian pinup, to compose a song for their major Hollywood blockbuster? Something's fishy about her story, and we won't know until either a) Mel Gibson breaks his silence or b) the men with butterfly nets take her off to a secret KGB warehouse for brainwashing. No?

By the way, based on these photos alone, would she be able to break up your marriage?

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We Finally Figured Out Why Marilyn Manson Dumped Dita Von Teese...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 18:33:00 GMT

For a long time, we thought Marilyn Manson was crazy for dumping his new wife, Dita Von Teese (Dita Von TEESE, for God's sake!) for some teenage actress named Evan Rachel Wood. Wood, we thought, wasn't even the femme fatale type, while Von Teese is practically the textbook definition. Then again, it's our own fault for not realizing Marilyn Manson was crazy beforehand.

Now comes word that a) Marilyn Manson has apologized to Von Teese for leaving her in the lurch and b) has gotten back together with his onetime flame. Wood, meanwhile, is moving rapidly toward stardom thanks to the new Woody Allen movie and this GQ photo spread...

Despite her breakout roles in mainstream movies like The Wrestler and scandal-free lifestyle, she still scares the crap out of us. (In her GQ interview, she laments the loss of her pet rats.) After all,

this is the girl who, at age 19, shot a blood-spattered sex scene with her boyfriend, Marilyn Manson, for one of his rock videos.
More recently, she was linked with her Wrestler co-star, the 56-year-old Mickey Rourke. “There was no truth to it, and it was so annoying,” says Wood, now 21, who is back with Manson after “taking some time” away from the relationship. Of Rourke, she says: “The friendship was intimate and nice, and this makes it weird.”

Via GQ.

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Padma Lakshmi Suddenly, Surprisingly Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:58:00 GMT

The nude issue of Allure, which is out Tuesday the 21st of April, promises to be a smash success, thanks to the naked presence of Eliza Dushku, Chelsea Handler, Sharon Leal, Lynn Collins, and the hostess with the most sexiness, Padma Lakshmi.

The Top Chef star talked to the magazine about her breasts, her body, and sleeping in the nude-- in that order...

ALLURE: What did you do to prepare for the shoot?
PADMA LAKSHMI: "I exercised a little bit extra, but I actually think I look better when I have a little bit of weight on—my breasts are fuller, and I'm curvier than when I'm at my thinnest."

ALLURE: Are you confident about your body?
PL: "Yes; I like the way I look. I think I look better now than I did in my 20s, because I'm more confident about my body—and I don't want to look like anyone but myself."

ALLURE: Do you sleep naked?
PL: "I tend to sleep in the nude. I'm an innately tactile person and a very sensual-leaning woman. You have to use the word 'leaning' or it sounds like I'm boasting! When I'm in my own private space, I do spend time with very little on."

Emphasis added. Here are some more partial-nudes of Lakshmi from a photo shoot we've only recently discovered...

As we mentioned, Eliza Dushku and others also posed "nude" for the Allure issue...

ALLURE: What about [getting naked] these days?
ED: "I'll strip down to my underwear and my Ugg boots when I eat lunch in my trailer."

Sharon Leal, formerly of Boston Public and Guiding Light, and recently of Dreamgirls, was a bit shaky on the whole nudity thing:

ALLURE: What happened when you dropped the robe?
SL: "I just breathed and said to myself, 'I'm comfortable, I'm beautiful; I'm comfortable, I'm beautiful,' until I didn't have to say that anymore.... It's liberating, but posing once may be enough."

Chelsea Handler, the talk show host and standup comic, practically leapt at the chance to show off:

ALLURE: What was it like on the set?
CH: "I think it was easy—you're naked a couple times a day, so I think it would be easy for most women."
ALLURE: What body parts are you most proud of?
CH: "My boobs are good. They're real and perky. Even if you can't see them, the important thing is that I know about them, and the guys I've slept with know about them."

Lynn Collins, star of the recent bootleg sensation X-Men Origins: Wolverine agreed:

LYNN COLLINS: "Women with confidence in their bodies are the sexiest thing, so I put on my cape of courage and did it. It was quite liberating!"
ALLURE: What body part were you nervous to expose?
LC: "He shot that place where your butt meets your thigh. It's a special place on a woman; it's a highly erogenous zone, but it's one of the hardest places to get in shape."

Via Allure.

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Sexy Tattoos From The Pre-Badass Era

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:37:00 GMT

You've worked long and hard. Plus, we've already begun happy hour in preparation for Bearded Man of the Week Kris Kristofferson tonight and don't really have much writerly energy left. So, instead... we'll take you on a whirlwind tour of the early days of photography, which were also, it seems, the beginning of the tattoo craze that still sweeps America to this day...

Seriously, though, tattoos have been staining the skin since ancient times:

Tattooing has been practiced worldwide. The Ainu, the indigenous people of Japan, traditionally wore facial tattoos. Today one can find Berbers of Tamazgha (North Africa) and Maori of New Zealand with facial tattoos. Tattooing was widespread among Polynesian peoples and among certain tribal groups in the Philippines, Borneo, Mentawai Islands, Africa, North America, South America, Mesoamerica, Europe, Japan, Cambodia, New Zealand and Micronesia. Despite some taboos surrounding tattooing, the art continues to be popular in many parts of the world. [Wikipedia]

Earlier today, we came across a blog page with a dozen great tattoo photos from the era of black-and-white photography. Here are a half-dozen of our favorites:

We'll take Pam or the one with Betty Boop inked on her leg... but generally, are a plethora of tattoos distracting? Hot?

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World's Sexiest Swimsuit Model Inspired By the Pope

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 19:09:00 GMT

Polish model and soon-to-be megafamous sex symbol Joanna Krupa gave an interview to FoxNews this week about how she got into this whole business of laying about half-undressed... and totally undressed.

Blame the Pope.

Krupa, a Polish 20-something recently named The World's Sexiest Swimsuit Model by Playboy (Bar Rafaeli is crying in her two piece), says that it's her European upbringing that made her comfortable enough with herself to do tasteful nudity:

"I think worrying about going topless in a photo shoot or film is really ridiculous," Krupa told FOXNews.com in an exclusive interview. "And the fact is Pope John Paul said, since we were born naked, it is art, and it's just showing a beautiful body that God created."

Amen. [Yes. That's Fox's word.]

"I was born in Europe, and Europeans have a more casual, natural way of dealing with nudity," Krupa adds. "Interestingly enough, these days, you see nudity and toplessness in almost every critically acclaimed movie, and whenever I pick up a French Vogue, I see bare breasts, and French Vogue still sets the standards."

"I can tell you that I am very proud that everything I have achieved to date has happened due to the hard work of my team and myself," she said. "I was never tempted to give in [to the casting couch] because I have always been in committed relationships, and take the word 'committed' very seriously."

"I live a normal life where family and love comes first. The minute I leave a set, I go back to my regular life and simply enjoy a night at home with my sweetheart and dogs, and if we go out, it's just with a few good friends. I watch the circus, but don't join it. People expect a busy model to be on every party and to indulge in crazy behavior, drugs and multiple lovers - I represent the opposite of that."

Krupa also adds that a PETA ad might not be far off..

"I dedicate as much time as I can to fight for animal rights, and against horrific realities like fur factories and puppy mills," she added. "I also have a column on www.bestswimwear.com where I talk about how to get your body in bikini shape, while still enjoying life, and especially food."

Here's that bikini shape she was talking about:

And the NSFW photos that made the Pope proud are below...

WARNING: NSFW BOOBS... as if the above photos aren't...

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PETA Names the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:26:00 GMT

Back in February, we advised you to vote for PETA's Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door 2009. There were loads of hot men and women in the running, many of them pictured in their underwear with bulges or major cleavage-- but thankfully, never both.

The ~~People Eating Tasty Animals~~ People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals have finally announced the winners and they're not who we expected...

As you may recall, we nominated the following gals: Alexia from New York City; Amy from Port Angeles, WA; Brooke from Ogden, UT; Giselle from Miami, FL; and Sunny from North Hollywood, CA.

Sadly, our advice was ignored and the winner is...

There's nothing wrong with Amber-- nothing wrong, that is, unless you're disappointed that PETA, supposedly secretly a feminist hive, prefers blondes. How original. (Okay, really, we were just rooting for Sunny to take the top prize...)

Amber, a [Minnetonka] Minnesota native, decided to go vegetarian after reading the book Skinny Bitch and doing research on making the switch, and she's thrilled with the results! In addition to feeling stronger both mentally and physically, she loves knowing that her carbon footprint is smaller, thanks to her vegetarian diet. Amber is the very proud guardian of several rescued animal companions, and she spends time volunteering for the Minnesota Boxer Rescue. She even lets her love for animals carry over into her work as a photographer. Check out the cute companion animal gallery on her Web site to see for yourself! Amber's major turn-ons are confidence, bad boys who have a heart for animals, tattoos, and creativity.

By the way, the winner for the Sexiest Male Vegetarian Next Door is... Monty.

Monty, 33, [of Los Angeles, CA] initially switched to a vegetarian diet for health reasons, but after he learned how factory farming affects animals and the environment, his convictions were reinforced, and he recently went vegan! Monty owns a visual-arts firm, and his photos capture the essence of a wide variety of timely issues, including President Barack Obama's presidential campaign. Monty shares his home with Zeus, a Chihuahua he took in after he found him wandering on Hollywood Boulevard. Monty considers analytical minds and compassionate hearts to be turn-ons and is turned off by people who aren't open-minded. He loves to travel and will soon retrace the steps of the man who discovered the North Pole.

Both win separate trips for two to Hawaii. One has to wonder what all the Hawaiians in the running were in it for...

Via PETA.

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Crush of the Week: Lisa Batiashvili

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 20:34:00 GMT

Lisa Batiashvili, the 29- or 30-year-old violinist from the nation of Georgia, played three shows with the New York Philharmonic over the weekend. By the time we heard of and fell in love with her, the available tickets were well out of our price range. That's the problem with going to see opera and classical music-- we'd love to see more of it, but we don't feel we're getting our money's worth at Madison Square Garden prices unless its practically an historic occasion.

Based on the reviews, we missed some stunning performances and, of course, a chance to gape at this very pretty woman...

The SF Gate glows about her new CD:

You have to have a gimmick to put out yet another recording of the Beethoven Violin Concerto, and Georgian violinist Lisa Batiashvili has two dandy ones: She plays the Beethoven without a conductor, "leading" the Deutsche Kammerphilharmonie Bremen in a performance that, for all its rough-hewn muscle, is unified and full of rhetorical flair; and she includes an odd but fascinating curtain-raiser, a group of six orchestral miniatures by Georgian composer Sulkhan Tsintsadze. These pieces (written for string quartet and arranged by the violinist's father, Tamas Batiashvili) combine folk strains - dances, love songs - with a formal inventiveness that is striking. The performances muster plenty of rhythmic panache and lead nicely into a vigorous account of the Beethoven.

Among her concert reviews is this gem:

“It’s been a while since a debut at Tanglewood created quite the sensation that Lisa Batiashvili, an unheralded violinist from Asian Georgia in her mid-20s, set off Friday night. The audience all but tore the place down.”

That sounds like it was worth MSG pricing... next time, Ms. Batiashvili... or should we say, with a great sigh, Mrs. Batiashvili...

Batiashvili started playing the violin at the age of two... thanks to her father being a violinist (and her mother being a pianist couldn't have hurt.) Her career took off virtually overnight in 1991, when a London performance landed her a nearly-full world tour. Since then, she's played the Mostly Mozart Festival and several other major concerts, culminating in her much-hyped show of Stravinsky, Prokofiev, and Tchaikovsky last Thursday through Saturday.

This 24 minute, 38 second-long piece of Beethoven should give you an idea of what she's all about. Enjoy.

Violin Concerto in D Major, Op. 61/Allegro, ma non troppo

Photos and info via her website.

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Bearded Man of the Week: Kris Kristofferson

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 18:01:00 GMT

Over the next few days, two of your Scanner bloggers will be seeing Kris Kristofferson play solo acoustic concerts. Most people wouldn't even know it if country music's greatest living songwriter passed through their towns, but we never miss him. The author of "Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down," "Me and Bobby McGee," "Help Me Make It Through the Night," and many other classics is no showman-- and his voice ain't much these days, either. But few have written songs this good before or since, and that's worth the price of admission alone.

Now, for the first time in ages, Kris is making headlines across the country, thanks to a controversial Rolling Stone article by Ethan Hawke. The anecdote that begins the story is the best music tale we've ever heard... and one you won't want to miss.

Oh yeah... and did we mention lots of beard photos after the jump?

In the new Rolling Stone, Ethan Hawke recites a story that involves hanging with Kris backstage at Willie Nelson's 70th birthday several years ago. While everyone waited in the wings to go on, Toby Keith (he's not named, but it's been confirmed elsewhere) walks by and says, "Hey Kris, none of that left shit out there tonight." We wish we had the full article in front of us (it's not online) so we could recite every word, but here's what we could pick up from press releases and other excerpts:

At that moment in time, the Star had a monster radio hit about bombing America's enemies back into the Stone Age...
[After Kris said something like, "What did you just say to me?" and stepped to Keith, Willie muttered something about not getting Kris riled up.] Then Kris, an Army vet during the 60's, got in Keith's face and asked, "Have you ever killed another man? Huh? Have you ever taken another man's life and then cashed the check your country gave you for doing it? No, you have not, so shut the fuck up."
Mr. Keith replied, "What?" and Kristofferson said, "Don't what me, boy! You heard the question. You just don't like the answer. I asked, 'Have you ever served your country?' The answer is, 'No, you have not.'"
And then, right there in front of Ray Charles and Norah Jones and Willie Nelson and a bunch of others, Kristofferson told Toby Keith... "You don't know what the fuck you are talking about!"
[Willie, of course, was trying not to laugh. At the end, he told Hawke-- this is not a direct quote-- "Waylon Jennings always used to say, 'Those kind of people did for country music what pantyhose did for finger-fucking.'"
Side note: according to Walyon's son Shooter, his Dad used to say that about one person specifically: Garth Brooks.]

Excerpts via the Tennessean, Rolling Stone, and other sources.

Meanwhile, Toby Keith and Kris Kristofferson both denied the story, with Keith claiming he never even met Kris that night. The media are having a field day with this one, thanks to there being no other entertainment news out there right now.

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Spring Movies Full of Steamy Sex Scenes, Apparently

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:20:00 GMT

Today's Entertainment Weekly blogs are all about sex scenes in movies. Sex scenes in Lifetime movies, even.

If this is a true indicator of what to expect, then Spring 2009 is going to go down as having some of the hottest cinematic love scenes ever...

First EW's Popwatch has this trailer from the upcoming Cherrybomb, Rupert Grint's breakthrough-from-child-star movie:

That's bound to be saucy, even though we'll keep screaming silently, "Ron Weasley's snorting drugs!"

Meanwhile, Seth Rogan's new movie, Observe and Report, is like that Kevin James Mall Cop movie, except this actually attempts to be funny. Of course, seeing as how this is Seth Rogan, there is a good degree of envelope pushing, particularly when it comes to the sex scene. According to various sources, Rogan's character has a crush on Anna Faris's makeup counter girl character and gets her drunk on tequila one night. While she's passed out, he tries to make out with her and gets a mouth full of vomit... or something. Then, it gets all rape-y:

"I sort of thought that our 'tender lovemaking moment,' [director] Jody [Hill] was like, 'Okay, you guys are having sex and you're going to have some vomit come out of your mouth, you're passed out and your boobs are jiggling all over,'" Faris said. "I was comforted by the studio. I was like, there's no way [they'll let this pass]. There's no way. I'll do it, sure, because I don't want to be a stick in the mud but there's no way this is going to make it in the movie." [Starpulse]

Q: In that unusual sex scene, did you actually consent? Anna: I said, “Why are you stopping, mother fucker!,” and I meant it. Seth: The implication would be to keep going, yes. Anna: It was great to see that with an audience. One journalist told me that she was ready to walk away from the movie, and then, when I mumbled that line, it’s like, “Oh, my God!” It was great to see the reaction from the audience. Seth: You can literally feel people thinking, “What are they going to do to make this okay? How is this going to be acceptable?” And then, she says the one thing that makes it acceptable. It’s perfect! We did that in one take. We literally had one camera and one take. I think it took under a minute to film that scene. [Movies Online]
In retrospect, Faris is happy her love scene goes all the way. "I'm grateful, I'm grateful," she said. "I'm grateful that the movie is unapologetic." [Starpulse]

Observe and Protect is out on Friday in America. Cherrybomb is expected to be released by summer in the UK.

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What Country Has The Most Women Wearing DD Bras?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 18:10:00 GMT

We're betting you were going to guess "the United States of America" right off the bat. Don't.

According to a variety of sources, the average bra in the US is a B Cup, more specifically a 34B. (In a widely circulated survey in 2005, Americans were found to be wearing more B cups than C cups, 44% to 28%, and more A cups than D cups, 15% to 10%.)

If you were going to say the United Kingdom has the most double D's, guess again...

The winner of our unofficial and unscientific survey is... Australia!

Up to 40 per cent of Australian women now buy bras with a cup size of DD or higher, new figures from lingerie suppliers show.

In the 1950s, the most common bra-cup size was a B - three sizes less than a DD.

Modern breasts are getting so large that some bra companies have introduced cup sizes as high as K, The Sunday Telegraphreports.
...sales of DD-plus bras have grown from about 20 per cent of sales to 28 per cent in just five years.

The best line of the whole story explains that boobs are growing because of The Pill and artificial hormones... but, of course, because of obesity, as well. If that's the case, we have to wonder why the World's Fattest Country hasn't enlarged its average cup size.

Meanwhile, a local surgeon says his breast reduction schedule has doubled in recent years.

"There's no question that because the population is bigger their breasts are bigger as well, because it's all fatty tissue.

"As women get older the amount of fatty tissue increases, and also the proportion of fat increases."

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"Britain's Sexiest Teacher" In Hot Water After Steamy Photo Shoot

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 15:10:00 GMT

Natasha Gray, voted Britain's Sexiest Teacher in a phone survey following a television show seven years ago, is (finally) back in the news again for doing the only thing that could ever upset a British parent: not being able to live on a teacher's salary.

Apparently, some parents were worried about their children being taught by a woman who models in the near-nude... and here we thought Britain was more enlightened about the female form than their American counterparts...

Some kid who couldn't keep his or her mouth shut (who talks to their parents about what goes on at school anyway?) told his/her mom that Gray had lingerie photos up on iModel, a website for aspiring underwear champions. The woman wrote an anonymous letter to the school informing them of the photos, which she said was "disgusted" by the "inappropriate" spread.

"I assume the pupils have a good giggle about it but I find it rather crass."

Well, my dear, if teachers were banned from doing anything one single person finds offensive, the only thing they could do was sit absolutely still and keep their eyes closed. In other words, find something better do with your time, mom.

Meanwhile, "Tasha" has been told she will not be fired, but that the school hopes she knows that this will go down on her permanent record.

Via various English media sources and iModel.

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Sarah Palin Porn Ain't Goin' Nowhere, No Ho Ho Ho

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:10:00 GMT

John McCain's selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate was an unqualified disaster. Not only did voters flee from the novel idea of a female vice President (at least-- this potential female vice president), but they abandoned the Republican Party in greater numbers than ever.

Since the election, Sarah Palin's continued quest for the spotlight has further doomed the Party's chances for taking the White House. There was that whole incident with the turkey and the reenactment of that scene from Fargo. There is that whole string of ethics scandals. And, at last, the Bristol-Levi shotgun wedding sham was finally given up, since the voters no longer cared if the kids "did the right thing."

About the only successful enterprise involving Sarah Palin seems to be Naylin' Paylin, the Hustler-sponsored porn film. Now, Larry Flynt and company are shooting a sequel, which promises to keep Palin in the public eye for a lot longer... if only in the eyes of bugging-out pervs...

From Fleshbot (and via AVN):

Hustler cashed in on the election hype with a quickie follow-up called Obama's Nailin' Paylin, featuring a bonus scene with Guy DiSilva as President Obama.
Why another Palin movie now?
"We'll keep doing it as long as we can get away with it," said Hustler exec Jeff Thill.

Lisa Ann, a.k.a. "Serra Paylin" (why bother to change the spelling at all when the name is pronounced the same way?) is on a strip club tour that stops in Hardeeville, South Carolina next month and other locations TBA. Meanwhile, Hustler is gearing up for Hollywood's Nailin' Paylin, a semi-sequel to their smash of last year.

We're guessing the plot involves Paylin going to Hollywood to seduce rich megastars (of the porn world) in the hopes they will back yet another one of her doomed bids for higher office. Wait, sorry-- did we say plot? It's probably just going to be a whole lotta this:

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Rolling Stone Turns to Gossip Girl to Remain Semi-Relevant

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 18:35:00 GMT

Rolling Stone is desperate to stay afloat. This is not news. They reduced the size of their magazines to cut production costs, featured Barack Obama (America's #1 celebrity!) on its cover, and generally tried to appease the again hippies that still subscribe while attracting lame Britney Spears fans that dominate the culture.

This month, Blake Lively, Leighton Meester, and the rest of the Gossip Gals are featured on the cover and are interviewed in the most tiresome fashion ("get the dirt on what it’s like starring as beautiful young people in New York while being beautiful young people in New York.")

The photo shoot, though, is at least the usual skanky jamboree...

Here are our favorite excerpts from the excerpts of the forthcoming article:

“No one’s going to accuse Gossip Girl of being The Wire or Mad Men, but if you roll with the fantasy/absurdity, it’s fun to watch, from the infighting to the insane clothes and snappy dialogue.”
“They’ve all reached the point where they’re in the public eye, but they’re not rolling around in blacked-out SUVs or being chased around like Madonna. A lot of them take the subway and they still complain about the price of rents and monthly car parking,” Gay reveals. “They’re in a nice place in their careers. They’re now recognizable enough to get interest for other things, but not so recognizable that daily life is a drag.”

Bummer, dudes. Check out the rest here.

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Top 5 Frantic Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 21:44:00 GMT

These scenes for your frantic Friday are not of the S&M or Basic Instinct or even Secretary variety (that's a whole 'nother list.) Sometimes, you've had a really epic and soul-crushing workweek and you don't have time to warm up.

As those recent and soon-to-be-disproved surveys say, there's no need for foreplay anymore...

5. The Life of David Gale. Was it just us or was this Kevin Spacey-Kate Winslet movie a triumph of wasting our complete fucking time? Nope, we weren't the only ones-- the movie hovers around a 20% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes-- oh, and Richard Roeper gave it thumbs up, so that's all the evidence we need. And, frankly, we don't even remember this sex scene being in the film, which has to stand for something.

4. True Blood. Hey, we didn't claim these were all from the movies anymore. Besides, this show is more softcore porn flick than any turgid rated-R crapburger we've sat through this year... so, once again... that's gotta count for something. And bonafide Academy Award-winning actress Anna Paquin is featured-- so... there's that.

3. The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981) - We include this scene because, in a rare move for misogynist Hollywood, a woman is seen to be "leading" and "directing" the sex. Note that Jessica Lange demands that Jack Nicholson wait until she clears the table, then orders him to get down to business. Furthermore, she doesn't enjoy being on the bottom, so Jack will just have to make do with her on top. That's more like it, Tinseltown.

2. Crash (1996) - You've probably seen the Rosanna Arquette-James Spader scene... and the Deborah Unger-Elias Koteas-while-James-Spader watches sex scenes. But unless you've seen Crash, the 1996 David Cronenberg film and not to be mistaken for that flaming piece of tripe from a few years ago, you probably didn't even know about the Holly Hunter-James Spader scene. My God, how was this NC-17 release not banned from theaters and burned by the conservative movement?

1. A History of Violence - We were hoping to find a frantic Hollywood sex scene that doesn't involve a man doing something violent to initiate sex, but gave up after several hours. (Just kidding-- you think we have that kind of time?) Seriously, please recommend a few movies where we can see women being portrayed as normal, sexual beings who can initiate sex without repercussions. In other words, no slasher films.

Honorable Mention: Love in the 21st Century

Sex Scene From The Show Love In The 21st Century

Also, we deliberately left out the Basic Instinct scene with Jeanne Tripplehorn because it's a borderline rape scene. So, for all of you who were about to write in to chide us for the oversight... "Ha! And you thought the ice pick death scene that opens the film would be here. This is somehow rougher... and Jeanne Tripplehorn is so much hotter than Sharon Stone, don't ya think? She has those incredible lips and an innocent Marilyn Monroe pout. We kind of wish she gets to do a movie where she leads the roughhousing and isn't sexually exploited like she is here. Okay?"

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