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Ways Not to Email a Dominatrix

Drew Grant — Tue, 05 May 2009 16:50:00 GMT

Sorry but this is hysterical...I've been reading these sad, sad letters sent to the lovely Peridot Ash, a professional escort in San Francisco who runs a blog called Friction. Instead of sighing and hitting the delete button, Ash has compiled some of the more insane emails she's gotten over the years for our amusement. This is the reason her blog Friction is at the top of my RSS feed these days.

You have a bit of a resemblance to one of my sisters - maybe a few years younger, but that’s ok. Do you have a face pic (G-Rated OK, more always
appreciated) that you would be willing to share.

My wife feels that I’m not respectful to her and I need training, she wants me to go for a week to a dominatrix for severe punishment and training, she demands that I find a strong dom that can turn me into a gentleman, and that will punish me with whips and canes until I submit. If this is something that you could do please let me know and how much it will cost.

Hi, Im Sanjeev, 27 m New Delhi/Gurgaon, India. I live alone and seeks someone to give me company for a week or so, i will bear all expenses here .. think of this as ur travel to india ..i can even help u in settle down here. Leave me ur name, simple pics and cell no I can take a week off from office and can go to places u wanted to . .. taj mahal, jaipur, kerala, .. whereever u say honey

I read your information on the web. I am herei for a few days and wondered if we could meet on Wednesday 8 Nov 11:00 p.m. at my hotel? A couple questions. I’m really not interested in making love. I really enjoy oral sex, both giving and receiving. Any interest in that? No condom for me. I am a clean white guy from Canada. Do you think you can finish me off? 195 cm tall, 100 kg, nice guy Let me know if you have an interest. I woudl like to try 2 hours, but we will start with 1 hour and see how it goes. Do you think you can hel me out 2 times in 1 hour?

Going into the sex industry in the age of the Internet must make it way easier to weed out the creeps...even so...::shudder::.

Did You Miss The Sex Workers' Art Show Tour?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 17:50:00 GMT

If you missed them this week in Virginia and North Carolina, don't fret-- we have the lowdown on the Sex Workers' Art Show's Limited 2009 Dirty South Tour...

According to the official website, tour participants included World Famous *BOB* (top) and porn star Lorelei Lee (above.) The tour's focus was on "spoken word, music, drag, burlesque, and multimedia performance art. Intelligent and hot, disturbing and hilarious, the performances offer a wide range of perspectives on sex work, from celebration of prostitutes' rights and sex-positivity to views from the darker sides of the industry."

The promoters wanted "to dispel the myth that they are anything short of artists, innovators, and geniuses!" We don't know about that last part, especially with the exclamation point, but this attitude sure garnered a lot of attention.

In Williamsburg, Virginia, this week, conservative knuckleheads meddled as usual, trying to tell college students what they should and should not see. The only thing these people know about the First Amendment is that it comes before the one with the guns.

Last year, their devotion to this divisive annual event helped get their popular president Gene Nichol ousted by fire-breathing conservatives on the Board of Visitors and the state legislature.

Nichol opposed the show on principle, yet backed his students' decision and refused to ban it from campus.
His successor, W. Taylor Reveley, has done exactly the same, yet remains unsinged.

I'm not saying it's the students' fault Nichol was forced out. The fault lies with the hypocrites who used the sex show as one more briquette to burn him at the stake. [Daily Press]

Great job, right-wingers. You ousted an honest man and had him replaced with... a guy who also slightly disagrees with your Puritanical views. It's too bad there's no such thing as hell, because... well, maybe we're getting carried away. The show seems to have been a success in spite of all this political nonsense, and we look forward to seeing it further up the east coast...

Via the Sex Workers' Art Show website.

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Guy Who Probably Killed Natalee Holloway Needs To Sleep With The Fishes

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:29:00 GMT

Joran van der Sloot, who proved having a judge for a father means you're immune from prosecution, may not be able to slither his way out of this latest jam.

Thanks to journalists who relentlessly pursued the accused murderer (well, not accused by any real authority, but we'd have no problem charging him) all the way to Thailand, The Slootmeister has once again been caught on hidden camera admitting to a very real crime involving Thai girls...

According to several European news sources, van der Sloot was filmed by an undercover operative working for Peter R. De Vries:

De Vries will show in his TV programme, he claims, that Van der Sloot offers women for sale in the Thai capital Bangkok for the Dutch prostitution market. On hidden camera he explains how he supplies girls for 10,000 euros each, who work for 300 dollars a month in Dutch brothels.

Best part of all, the OJ Simpson wannabe was flanked by Thai hookers while he discussed business. The man is a sleazeball, for sure, but is he a murderer?

Van der Sloot, the son of a judge in Aruba, said in February to an infiltrator working for De Vries that he dumped the body of Natalee Holloway, a teenager from the American state of Alabama, in the sea. He said she died suddenly while they were engaged in sexual activities on a beach. To the surprise of many, including De Vries, the authorities in the Netherlands and the Netherlands Antilles did not consider this confession serious enough for Van der Sloot to be arrested. Since then, he has been in the Far East.

Let's get this straight: no one wanted to pursue this lead, so now this asshole is engaged in human trafficking of Thai prostitutes? Great-- why don't we give him a blanket pardon for all future crimes, just to make it all official-like?

It sickens us that he's allowed to get away with this stuff time and time again. Would someone please send Dexter overseas for an episode or two to take care of this problem?

Via Dutch News sources.

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Tips From A Stripper

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 20:11:00 GMT

"Some of y'all want to learn how to date one of those sexy strippers you see on stage. That requires cocaine."

We love hearing from strippers out there, so if you have advice for those of who enjoying hitting the clubs, let us know! We're kidding-- we can't afford to go to strip clubs, even ones with the free admission and $10 Milwaukee's Best...

Nonetheless, check out this great bit of advice from a stripper...

Before I met my ex-husband, and before my first kid was born, I used to do a bit of stripping at one of Richmond's fine Southside gentlemen's clubs. So I think I'm more than qualified to teach you no account fools some of the finer points of properly conducting yourselves in a strip club environment.

The most important thing is tipping. Just because you paid a cover charge doesn't mean that you're "covered"! You guys need to tip each dancer for each dance! That's why they're coming around to every table after every performance. The standard tip is $0.50 per dance (a roll of pennies will do). An extra 15% should be added if the routine included ass clapping.

Ass clapping! That's our phrase of the day, people.

During my very first week on the job I accidentally farted right in a guy's face during a private dance! I figured it would be okay because I was wearing a spandex Catwoman suit...

Wait a minute... is she for real?

Yes, strippers are always available for sex in exchange for money! That's really how they make ends meet! And I can tell you right now that if you don't get to insert a finger during a private dance, you got ripped off!

All right, we're pretty sure she's kidding now, but this is entertaining material...

Via Jocelyn's Corner.

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ABC's Prostitution Special Saddens Us, Annoys Former Sex Workers

Bryan Christian — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:01:00 GMT

Hey, you know what? We spent most of our evening on Friday watching ABC's "Prostitution in America" news special, which was apparently years in the making but was rushed onto the air post-Spitzer, just for you -- but we wound up not mentioning anything because we try not to write about too many things that makes us want to slit our fucking wrists. Yeesh, what a depressing parade of misery and addiction that was. Like, it was such an overwhelming bummer that we couldn't even begin to discuss the facts or anything like that if we'd wanted to.

Anyway, thank God we don't have to think anything more about it, because former sex workers -- because former sex pro and current blogger Gracie Passette has done plenty of (far more informed) thinking on it for us.

The only moments approaching the experiences of the two of us were those with the unidentified courtesan. And not just because that's the only way the two of us would (when escorting or now) appear in such a broadcast; this woman was sane, rational.
While Diane literally said that she "couldn't accept" the courtesan's unwillingness to say she didn't feel she was losing anything special about sex or in any way say that her work made her feel dirty confused, we both knew what the courtesan was saying. Not only does this serve to illustrate more of Diane's inability to be objective, but a complete unwillingness to be open to considering a view point other than her own.

It's a long read, but probably of interest even if you didn't catch the show (though maybe you did, since the ratings were surprisingly good).

"Not Every Karaoke Bar is About Singing, Not Every Massage Parlor is About Giving Massages"

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 19:13:00 GMT

We all know China has done a pretty good job taking all the fun out of sex. The new Chinese film restrictions are just the icing on the sad cake. In this rare footage, Current TV goes inside the world of China's booming sex industry. It's long-ish (13 minutes), safe for work, and pretty fucking depressing. You're welcome? We're sorry?