Scanner : sex scenes

While You Were Sleeping: Paul Newman’s Gay Affair

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 15 May 2009 14:02:00 GMT

Free mp3’s from the likes of She & Him, Robyn Hitchcock, and Shawn Mullins can be yours if you donate so much as one dollar to save Paste Magazine.

We really feel bad for this woman who cried in her mugshot photo, even though she put up an ad on an elevator wall offering sex for money and gave out her real phone number.

Tom Hanks is upset his Angels and Demons sex scene was cut for the PG-13 rating.

John Mayer sends text messages that say “I want to tuck you in” when he really means a word that starts with “f” instead of “t,” according to the ever-reliable New York Post.

Hey Brits– the best breasts are in Yorkshire.

Gerard Butler has been charged with beating up a pap.

Shanna Moakler asked Carrie Prejean to “stop lying.”

And a new book claims Paul Newman and James Dean slept together. That seems believable– if we were forced at gunpoint to have sex with another man, it would have to be one of these two in their prime.

How to Write A Great Sex Scene

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 16:41:00 GMT

Suite101 is one of those websites that gets everyone to write for them for free and then tries to pay them for their large traffic contributions with royalties for miniscule ad sales. Fortunately, though, many of the writers rise above their position on the internet ladder and churn out excellent pieces.

One recent addition to the lineup is "How to Write A Sex Scene," and it's quite interesting...

Writer Nina Munteanu hits five keys points in her article and, curiously enough, they would all work as tips for having a better sex life:

Tie Scene to Emotion

Describe Indirectly

Savor the Lead In

Less Is More

Use Sensual Language

Be more emotionally invested in the sex itself, don't be so obvious about what you want so that it's more playful, savor the foreplay, don't over do it, and talk dirty if it sounds like it'll work. Yep, that pretty much covers it.

Read the full text of her points at Suite101. [We're having embedding problems, so make sure you right click and ask to open in a new tab/window.]

Top 5 Charlize Theron Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 21:16:00 GMT

Fleshbot alerted us to the upcoming Charlize Theron movie, The Burning Plain, which continues Oscar-winning nude trailblazer Charlize Theron's tradition of going topless "if the role requires it."

Here's a list of the five highlights from that stunning career. Nope, no Cider House Rules or Aeon Flux this time... someday, though, we'll get to those scenes...

5. Monster. This harrowing, utterly absorbing serial killer biopic landed Theron a well-deserved Oscar. You would think that would be what everyone remembers about the hit film-- but no, this is what the internet still buzzes about: Charlize + Christina Ricci + tongue = hot sex. This would be one of the most popular sex scenes in history if only the makeup department hadn't conspired to make their characters look more like scary murderers than sex symbols.

4. Reindeer Games. Due to the uploaders poor editing on the first sex scene from this movie, we've included the pool scene as well. Neither of them are all that memorable, but together... not a bad waste of 90 seconds...

3. Head in the Clouds. We always wondered how Stuart Townsend, that lucky bastard, hooked up with our girl, who refers to him as her "husband." It wasn't on this film, but one shortly before that these two met-- but it might as well have started with this scene, which is probably what their nights are like 365 days a year. Lucky, lucky.

2. 2 Days in the Valley. The scene that made her famous starts about 22 seconds in. James Spader may have been in Sex, Lies, and Videotape and a few of the Brat Pack movies. He may have been incredibly good on Boston Legal. Hell, he may go on to win 10 Academy Awards (all for supporting actor-- ha ha, he's always a bridesmaid....) The point is: no matter what James Spader does with the rest of his life, the first line on his resume should read: "Yeah, I was in That Fucking Scene."

1. The Devil's Advocate. You scrolled right to the bottom to check for this one, didn't you? We can't blame you-- this one always blew the others away, especially when we saw it in the context of The Keanu Reeves-Al Pacino Bad Acting Experience. Perhaps both men signed up to enjoy these two lovely ladies in the buff-- after all, there are worse ways to make a living.

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Spring Movies Full of Steamy Sex Scenes, Apparently

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 16:20:00 GMT

Today's Entertainment Weekly blogs are all about sex scenes in movies. Sex scenes in Lifetime movies, even.

If this is a true indicator of what to expect, then Spring 2009 is going to go down as having some of the hottest cinematic love scenes ever...

First EW's Popwatch has this trailer from the upcoming Cherrybomb, Rupert Grint's breakthrough-from-child-star movie:

That's bound to be saucy, even though we'll keep screaming silently, "Ron Weasley's snorting drugs!"

Meanwhile, Seth Rogan's new movie, Observe and Report, is like that Kevin James Mall Cop movie, except this actually attempts to be funny. Of course, seeing as how this is Seth Rogan, there is a good degree of envelope pushing, particularly when it comes to the sex scene. According to various sources, Rogan's character has a crush on Anna Faris's makeup counter girl character and gets her drunk on tequila one night. While she's passed out, he tries to make out with her and gets a mouth full of vomit... or something. Then, it gets all rape-y:

"I sort of thought that our 'tender lovemaking moment,' [director] Jody [Hill] was like, 'Okay, you guys are having sex and you're going to have some vomit come out of your mouth, you're passed out and your boobs are jiggling all over,'" Faris said. "I was comforted by the studio. I was like, there's no way [they'll let this pass]. There's no way. I'll do it, sure, because I don't want to be a stick in the mud but there's no way this is going to make it in the movie." [Starpulse]

Q: In that unusual sex scene, did you actually consent? Anna: I said, “Why are you stopping, mother fucker!,” and I meant it. Seth: The implication would be to keep going, yes. Anna: It was great to see that with an audience. One journalist told me that she was ready to walk away from the movie, and then, when I mumbled that line, it’s like, “Oh, my God!” It was great to see the reaction from the audience. Seth: You can literally feel people thinking, “What are they going to do to make this okay? How is this going to be acceptable?” And then, she says the one thing that makes it acceptable. It’s perfect! We did that in one take. We literally had one camera and one take. I think it took under a minute to film that scene. [Movies Online]
In retrospect, Faris is happy her love scene goes all the way. "I'm grateful, I'm grateful," she said. "I'm grateful that the movie is unapologetic." [Starpulse]

Observe and Protect is out on Friday in America. Cherrybomb is expected to be released by summer in the UK.

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Why Marisa Tomei Finally Went Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:04:00 GMT

Marisa Tomei gave an interview to TotalFilm this month on her career and, most importantly to readers, her decision to accept a series of roles that required sex and nakedness.

We hesitate to use the term "revealing" when describing this excerpt (and accompanying NSFW photos, of course), but maybe that's because the pun is so obvious...

"I definitely feel like I didn't want to do that kind of thing when I was younger because I didn't think that it was something a serious actress would do, in a way there is validity to that...
"It's harder to be taken seriously when you're younger, doing [nude scenes] but I've also come to a point of being able to handle the reaction to it - that probably would have been more difficult when I was younger."
On finally undressing for The Wrestler and Before The Devil Knows You're Dead: "I did those two movies because I was grateful to have them come along, frankly.
"I wanted to work with Sidney Lumet and Ethan [Hawke] and Phil [Seymour Hoffman] and Albert Finney.
"Actually, I wasn't so thrilled about the nudity package that was coming with it, but it was the best thing that was offered to me at the time and I really wanted to work, and I trusted Sidney so much.
"Maybe growing older there's an inner sense of what I can trust and I knew I could trust him. So it came out of that." [Press Association]

Growing older or not, this was worth the wait. Keep 'em coming, you amazingly talented, sexy, and very naked "older woman..."

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Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Lingerie

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 20:38:00 GMT

Every guy has a childhood story about finding the nudie mags under their friend's dad's bed. Ours involves raiding our best friend's father's Playboy collection, dating back to the mid-sixties, and going over centerfolds ranging from famous rock groupie Bebe Buell to Vicki Iovine, wife of the great record producer Jimmy Iovine.

But we always got bored with the nude women posing in the same exact way. We ended up digging to the bottom for the Victoria's Secret catalog with Elle MacPherson on the cover. To us, the tease was better than the full monty.

With that in mind, here are Five of our Favorite Sex Scenes Featuring Lingerie...

5. Gia. This first surfaced on the internet entitled "Banned Lingerie Commercial." Yeah, right-- even lingerie commericals aren't this hot. Should this automatically be #1 on any list of anything, including lists that have nothing to do with sex? Yes. Are we too lazy to move it to the bottom of this post? Indeed.

4. Two Days in the Valley. Skip to 0:22 to the part where James Spader finally shuts up when Charlize and her long, long, long legs enter the bedroom... and then they both don't shut up. Ever.

3. Mutual Needs. Is this a porno? Rochelle Swanson's in it, so it must be... but who's complaining? If you have five minutes to kill today, this is how you should spend it.

2. Layer Cake. Skip to 1:30 to build on the hotness. Thinking that this PG-13 movie would be lacking in uncomfortable sex scenes, we decided a Daniel Craig action movie might be a good choice for a post-Thanksgiving dinner. Whoops. Sienna Miller here explains why she is able to hypnotize men into leaving their wives-- she just pops in a DVD of this scene:

1. El Beso del Sueno. Maribel Verdu from Y Tu Mama Tambien and... some old guy... in what was obviously her audition for the famous blockbuster Alfonse Cuaron film. Did that movie top this one in her terms of hotness? Of course... but don't miss the close up of Verdu's panties... Cuaron didn't think of that.

Bonus: Lori Loughlin from Full House in what may or may not be lingerie (or is a simple dress?) from Suckers.

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Top 5 Monica Bellucci Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 21:08:00 GMT

When you delve into the careers of foreign actors and actress who do sex scene after sex scene in their films, you begin to realize that no one's ever seen any of these movies. They are just unlabeled clips that float around the internet until we see them and say, "This would be a great waste of everyone's time on a Friday afternoon."

That is definitely the case with Italian star Monica Bellucci, an actress everyone recognizes but no one knows where from. In her storied career, Bellucci, now 44, has starred in such classics as Shoot 'Em Up, Malena, The Passion of the Christ, the Matrix sequels, and The Brothers Grimm. Don't rent any of these movies-- just watch their most memorable scenes here...

5. Monica has sex with the camera in an unknown movie. Pretty self-explanatory, really.

4. Monica has sex with a lemon in Malena. Also, is it just us or is Morricone ripping off the theme from Godfather here?

3. Monica stands there while a man has sex with her, also in Malena. This would've been higher on the list if a) she wasn't basically being violated here and b) that kid wasn't in the way with his cryin' eyes.

2. Monica having sex with a guy (!) in a car wash in Combien tu m'aimes. Betcha ten bucks that crying kid is watching from inside the gas station booth.

1. Monica getting nailed to the wall by a mass murderer in Shoot 'Em Up. Well, as long as it's with Clive Owen, it can't be all that horrible can i-- oh, wait... yes, this is a pretty ridiculous sex scene. With a punchline, no less...

Honorable Mentions: Monica is naked in just about everything. For example, there's this, from Brotherhood of the Wolf and two other films here and here. Any of them could've been #1...

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Watching the Watchmen Sex Scene

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:06:00 GMT

We're not surprised to learn Watchmen took in $55.7 million, falling short of expectations. After all, it's a graphic novel, not a famous comic book series people have been reading or hearing about for decades, such as Spiderman or The X-Men. It has no movie stars (unless you count an unrecognizable Billy Crudup), a disorienting and uninspired trailer, and terrible buzz. It probably doesn't help that the same douche who directed a dud like 300 helmed this one-- word of mouth after Friday's opening was abysmal and the movie plummeted in the charts on Saturday and Sunday.

Even the film's sex scene has been disparaged. We get the feeling direct Zack Snyder was trying for laughs here, but this is the same guy that thinks Gerard Butler is a genius thespian and that wooden, clunky dialogue is acceptable in any genre. There's also the problem of how this sequence ends, with the most cliched Freudian moment in cinema...

Forgive the quality of these pics-- they are screenshots from a bootleg of a print of the film. But you'll get the idea, especially when you see the Fleshbot video of the scene.

On some sort of darkened space ship, two characters (hey, we're trying not to have any spoilers here) strip and immediately begin having amazing sex-- climaxing to the soaring strains of Leonard Cohen's (terrible) original version of "Hallelujah." Oh, and then one of them hits a button and the ship responds by "unloading" its jets. (See below.) One of the oldest sex jokes in the movie playbook. Yawn.

You can watch the entire sex scene in all its bootlegged glory, courtesy of Fleshbot.

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Top 5 Frantic Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 21:44:00 GMT

These scenes for your frantic Friday are not of the S&M or Basic Instinct or even Secretary variety (that's a whole 'nother list.) Sometimes, you've had a really epic and soul-crushing workweek and you don't have time to warm up.

As those recent and soon-to-be-disproved surveys say, there's no need for foreplay anymore...

5. The Life of David Gale. Was it just us or was this Kevin Spacey-Kate Winslet movie a triumph of wasting our complete fucking time? Nope, we weren't the only ones-- the movie hovers around a 20% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes-- oh, and Richard Roeper gave it thumbs up, so that's all the evidence we need. And, frankly, we don't even remember this sex scene being in the film, which has to stand for something.

4. True Blood. Hey, we didn't claim these were all from the movies anymore. Besides, this show is more softcore porn flick than any turgid rated-R crapburger we've sat through this year... so, once again... that's gotta count for something. And bonafide Academy Award-winning actress Anna Paquin is featured-- so... there's that.

3. The Postman Always Rings Twice (1981) - We include this scene because, in a rare move for misogynist Hollywood, a woman is seen to be "leading" and "directing" the sex. Note that Jessica Lange demands that Jack Nicholson wait until she clears the table, then orders him to get down to business. Furthermore, she doesn't enjoy being on the bottom, so Jack will just have to make do with her on top. That's more like it, Tinseltown.

2. Crash (1996) - You've probably seen the Rosanna Arquette-James Spader scene... and the Deborah Unger-Elias Koteas-while-James-Spader watches sex scenes. But unless you've seen Crash, the 1996 David Cronenberg film and not to be mistaken for that flaming piece of tripe from a few years ago, you probably didn't even know about the Holly Hunter-James Spader scene. My God, how was this NC-17 release not banned from theaters and burned by the conservative movement?

1. A History of Violence - We were hoping to find a frantic Hollywood sex scene that doesn't involve a man doing something violent to initiate sex, but gave up after several hours. (Just kidding-- you think we have that kind of time?) Seriously, please recommend a few movies where we can see women being portrayed as normal, sexual beings who can initiate sex without repercussions. In other words, no slasher films.

Honorable Mention: Love in the 21st Century

Sex Scene From The Show Love In The 21st Century

Also, we deliberately left out the Basic Instinct scene with Jeanne Tripplehorn because it's a borderline rape scene. So, for all of you who were about to write in to chide us for the oversight... "Ha! And you thought the ice pick death scene that opens the film would be here. This is somehow rougher... and Jeanne Tripplehorn is so much hotter than Sharon Stone, don't ya think? She has those incredible lips and an innocent Marilyn Monroe pout. We kind of wish she gets to do a movie where she leads the roughhousing and isn't sexually exploited like she is here. Okay?"

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Anna Friel Has Been Getting Naked Since Before She Was Born

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 23:11:00 GMT

Forgive the silly headline here, but we must address the recent "shock" that resonated throughout the blogosphere about Pushing Daisies star Anna Friel's controversial nude scenes in her upcoming movie.

People: a simple Google search will tell you whether anyone has ever appeared naked anywhere at any time, including in the shower...

The Sun and other useless newspapers are desperate to stay afloat, so it's no surprise they're pretending the few well-known actresses getting naked in recently-released movies are first-time affairs and that their photographs/screenshots are excerpts. Gwyneth Paltrow was the first to be incorrectly (and widely) labeled a "new nude," followed by Anna Friel.

Here is her nude canon, followed by a badly-edited clip from Bathory, her latest naked-fest, and a photo from the same. Bathory, by the way, tells the exceptionally disturbing story of Elizabeth Bathory, a Hungarian countess in the late 16th/early 17th centuries and the world's most accomplished female serial killer, with hundreds of victims to her credit.

Rogue Trader

The Tribe

Me Without You

Bathory

...and the promised Bathory screenshot. Cree-py...

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Michelle Williams Strips, Seduces, Enjoys, And Freaks Out On Ewan McGregor

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 20:59:00 GMT

Michelle Williams has already bounced back from the stress nightmare and overwhelming publicity surrounding the death of her ex-fiancee, Heath Ledger. First, she nailed a terrific performance in last year's gem Wendy and Lucy, sadly overlooked by Kate Winslet-crazy Oscar voters. Then, she landed the lead in the new film Incendiary, which was a hit at the 2008 Sundance Film Festival and comes to DVD on May 5th.

But Nerve Video obtained a copy of the graphic and memorable sex scene between Williams and co-star Ewan McGregor (man, that guy's naked in everything)...

This scene takes place at the beginning of the movie. Williams' character has a husband and young son, whom the filmmakers apparently doesn't even bother to give a name, are at a soccer match (note her character's accent), so she decides to invite sexy Ewan over for a game of her own. Both fortunately and unfortunately, the scene is edited so that spoilers are removed, so we won't tell you what's going on at the end here, except to say that Williams had left the TV on and the channel tuned to the match...

More about Incendiary at the film's IMDB page.

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 21:22:00 GMT

We won't bore you with stories of our orgy and menage a trois experiences... because that's not why you're going to click on this post, right?

Without ado, the Five Best Sex Scenes That We Were Able To Find On The Internet And Could Embed Here... Part One. Suggestions, as always, for the next wave, in the comments section...

5. Rampage: The Hillside Strangler Murders. With a whopping 3.9-out-of-ten ranking on IMDB, you would be forgiven for not having heard of this via word-of-mouth. But now that Brittany Snow has been chosen to star in the Gossip Girl spinoff, expect this awful/true story to be repackaged in a useless Director's Cut DVD, complete with this sex scene stretched four milliseconds longer.

4. Factotum. If Marisa Tomei weren't in this scene, it wouldn't even have occurred to us to include it. After all, unless you consider dual finger-bangs "sex," this isn't much of a sex scene. But... again... Marisa Tomei, people...

3. Threesome. For a movie with sexual innuendo in the title, there isn't enough actual sex here. However, this clip does feature Lara Flynn Boyle getting talked "dirty" to over the phone while Stephen Baldwin goes down on her in person-- that counts, right? Oh, and there's an almost hot scene starting about 3:30 in with actual one-on-one sex. (The phone stuff starts at about 5:30.)

2. Wild Things. Jesus H! Is Matt Dillon in every great threesome in Hollywood history? You think he writes them in after signing his contract or will he not even agree to a role unless there's some menage goin' on? For us, the movie never gets finer than the opening scene, where a soap-sudsy Denise Richards stands dripping in Dillon's doorway, but everyone seems to think this is hotter 'n hell, so here goes...

1. American Psycho. "In terms of lyrics craftsmanship... this album hits new peaks of professionalism. Sabrina, why don't you dance a little?" In another director's hands, this would've been too unsettling to be darkly humorous. Is the film over-the-top, obvious, excessively violent and ultimately not the greatest movie? Absolutely. Is this sex scene near-genius? You put that in granite and stamp it on a business card.

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Mr. Skin's 2009 Naked Oscar Nominees Are Here, Free and Uncensored

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 18:52:00 GMT

Excuse the terrible headline, but we're rushing to be the first to take down The Man (Mr. Skin) by revealing his Top 5 Naked 2009 Academy Award Nominees in all their free and uncensored glory...

Earlier this week, the Hollywood nude database announced the famed annual list of naked Oscar nominees (of the ten females in acting categories, only Viola Davis has had a nude-free career.) Of course, there was an accompanying video with little Skin-heads over the naughty bits... but we'll take them away just for you, for free. You can't see this anywhere else... well, unless you do an exhaustive internet search that takes hours of our time, like we did...

5. Anne Hathaway - Havoc, nominated this year for Best Actress for Rachel Getting Married. Warning: this sex scene is disturbing, even in this chopped-up version.

4. Melissa Leo - Streetwalkin' (Best Actress - Frozen River) Although we couldn't find the topless scene Mr. Skin mentions, here's another scene with Leo showing some other parts of her award-winning anatomy, plus another funny "sex" scene from The Three Burials... movie, in which Dwight Yoakam remains in his socks. Classic.

3. Penelope Cruz - Elegy (Best Supporting Actress for Vicky Cristina Barcelona.) Why hadn't we heard of this before? It stars Penelope Cruz, Ben Kingsley, and Patricia Clarkson, and features two of those three in the buff (guess which?) Also, it's based on a forgettable Philip Roth bestseller from only a few years ago. Did we mention Penelope is topless for what seems like all of the movie's two hour running time? Guess we'll have our answers on March 17th, when it Elegy comes to DVD.

2. Kate Winslet - The Reader (Best Actress for the same.) We haven't seen this movie, but the fact that we've heard it called one of the worst movies ever nominated for Best Picture and "without a doubt the foulest film about the Holocaust" leads us to believe that having checked out Winslet's three nude scenes online is more than enough torture for one year. By the way, since this film is still on theaters, this is a bootleg of a bootleg, so the quality is understandably low.

1. Marisa Tomei - The Wrestler (Best Supporting Actress for the same.) This nude scene has been played to death on Scanner's pages, but hey, this isn't our list. Use the link below to check out the many other great clips from her wonderful career.

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Top 5 Sex Scenes From Horror Movies

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 22:33:00 GMT

Here's Part One of a list that includes Keanu Reeves, vampires, Susan Sarandon, vampires, the devil, Keanu Reeves, the devil, and some more vampires.

Hey, horror's got a few good ideas and they're all recycled like Tipper Gore's vibrator batteries... or something equally irrelevant to this post.

5. Bram Stoker's Dracula. While this Keanu Reeves-Gary Oldman-Winona Ryder film directed by Francis Ford Coppola is well known, it's difficult to find sex scenes or even clips from it on YouTube or anywhere else. The film is nearly complete on YouTube, but with only this sequence intact and not the famous scene where Reeves is molested by a couple of hot, naked vampires. A tragic discovery, to be sure.

Another clip can be found here.

4. The Hunger. Ah yes, one of the most popular sex scenes of all-time, here for 432nd time. But would we have been forgiven for leaving out nude action involving Susan Sarandon and Catherine Denueve? Doubtful.

Hunger

3. Angel Heart. Remember the days before Mickey Rourke was a washed-up boxer? We don't remember them either, but how can we forget the most controversial sex scene of the 1980s, from this cult horror flick set in New Orleans that involved one of the Cosby girls. Say goodbye to network TV respectability with us...

Angel Heart

2. The Devil's Advocate. We may never understand why this gem (that's putting it lightly) of a sex scene is left off almost every list of the greats. Perhaps it disturbs some when they find out (SPOILERS!) that Keanu and Connie are siblings-- at least according to Satan, who would know. Bonus: two hot chicks, hallucinations, and the fires of hell-- don't miss this!

1. Embrace of the Vampire. Although you won't hear any arguments from us that #2 is the superior scene, we're putting this up in the top spot for pure raunch and "Unrated" hotness. In fact, if Alyssa Milano had never done Who's The Boss?, we think most guys would still know who she is, thanks to this ridiculous vampire sex film. Enjoy the scene embedded here and then feel free to poke around Metacafe for other clips from the movie.

Alysia Milano Sex Scene

More coming in a few weeks in Part Two... suggestions are always welcome...

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Top 5 Sex Scenes Starring Angelina Jolie

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 20:29:00 GMT

While compiling last week's Top 5 Sex Scenes From Action Movies, we started to realize 1) Angelina Jolie is in a boatload of action movies, 2) Angelina Jolie is naked in a boatload of action movies and 3) Angelina Jolie is naked in a boatload of movies...

5. The Good Shepherd. Angelina Jolie is the only total stranger we can think of who could somehow keep us turned on after demanding to know if we love her. Angie, please, we'd like you to learn our middle name and take a test on the Baltimore Colts first, okay?

4. Foxfire. This here's more of a slumber party sequence than a sex scene, but you won't be complaining. By the way, this is what every guy, aged 8 to 108, imagines women are doing when there are no boners around.

3. Original Sin. We're pretty sure Antonio Banderas does all these softcore porn flicks to get away from that nut Melanie Griffith, although it's hard to imagine any straight guy turning down a script that includes this scene. [By the way, for some reason the volume on this scene is much higher than our other clips. Sorry about that.]

2. Taking Lives. There are some technical problems with the sound in this vi-- oh, who's paying any attention to the bland dialogue and storyline of this movie anyway? Here are two sex scenes for the price of one. And ladies, that's your favorite up-and-comer Gerard Butler in the buff in scene two, which is actually (apparently) from Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.

1. Gia. It's possible you could get away with a Top 5 Sex Scenes Just From The TV Movie Gia, All Featuring Angelina Jolie list, especially if you include this as two separate sex scenes-- in the first, Angie has sex with a fence; in the second, she continues to nail the fence, while also including Lost's Elizabeth Mitchell in the action. Good Lord, it must be Friday...

You can check out more Jolie-Mitchell action from Gia in this clip.

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Amber Heard Finally Nails Her Breakthrough With This Sex Scene

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 18:06:00 GMT

Maxim cover sensation Amber Heard, who played Seth Rogen's girlfriend in Pineapple Express, is using a raunchy series of graphic nude scenes in the upcoming movie The Informers to break through to the A List...

The Informers, which Bret Easton Ellis and Nicholas Jarecki adapted from Ellis' book of linked short stories, is described on its Wikipedia page as "a chilling, fascinating, and outrageous descent into the abyss beneath L.A.'s gorgeous surfaces." Whatever the hell that means. No one on the internet cares about the film anyway.

They only want to see the sex and boobs, which we are happy to provide, with a caveat: the scenes are completely uncensored, yet they are not available anywhere without some distractions or alterations to the footage. You'll see what we mean:

1) This is a compilation of all her nude shots from the trailer, albeit with an annoying voice over commentary on the film. Mute your computer and enjoy:

Amber Heard Topless Scenes in "The Informers"

2) Here's the Red Band trailer, infinitely more watchable:

The Informers Unrated Trailer

By the way, before you get all excited to see the movie itself, check out its reviews, which include some of the most brutal pieces of writing we've ever seen from film critics.

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We Nominate... Marisa Tomei For Best Supporting Nipple Rings

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:31:00 GMT

It doesn't seem that long ago that Marisa Tomei's career was made and simultaneously ruined by her winning a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for My Cousin Vinny. We saw "ruined" because the backlash began before she even took the stage-- with many saying Jack Palance had read the wrong name and many more claiming Tomei didn't deserve it either way, since her performance and role were "slight."

While these are, we have to admit, not entirely unfair (the fact that Judy Davis did not win unanimously is one of the great snubs of all time), they should not have stuck with Tomei for so long. Witness her brutal and affecting performance in 2007's violent caper film Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Plus, her inspired comic turn in The Slums of Beverly Hills and other indie films of note.

If it takes these uncensored topless scenes from The Wrestler to restore her standing among Hollywood's finest actors, so be it...

Marisa Tomei NUDE Stripper Performance in 'The Wrestler'

Did you catch how the was able to express her character's unhappiness in very subtle ways in that one on-stage strip scene (the one where Mickey Rourke hands her a piece of paper at the end)? That's true acting-- we can't even see her face for most of the take, yet we can sense her misery just in her back and arms...

By the way, if you haven't seen The Wrestler-- go check it out immediately or demand your local theater get a print pronto.

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Top 5 Sex Scenes From Action Movies

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 23:03:00 GMT

Every Hollywood action movie has to have a distracting sex scene about 70 minutes into the movie, just before the big, climactic showdown sequence begins-- just ask Sylvester Stallone. We defy you to name one action flick he's done without him rolling around in the sack with a Sharon Stone type, while Enya's instrumental score plays on the soundtrack in time with the snoring of almost everyone.

But, as no dude would feel the film is complete without it, screenwriters and directors keep plugging them in, sometimes ending up with something halfway decent...

Here are our Top 5 Sex Scenes From Action Movies... God forbid you ask us to remember the context these fall in:

5. Cyborg 2. Is that... Good Lord, it is, isn't it? Yep, check out Angelina Jolie's slow-mo boobs in this quintessential pointless action movie sex scene, which was Jack Palance's ridiculously boneheaded followup to winning an Oscar for City Slickers. You can watch a higher quality clip of the same scene here (it's a smaller, non-embeddable frame.)

4. Killing Zoe. Watching this a second time, we realize how hilariously (and obviously) Freudian this is. The clip from the original Nosferatu, where the man springs from the floor, fully erect? Not phallic at all. Neither is the Venus fly trap clamping shut. The more we started thinking about this-- that Julie Delpy is the hooker with the heart of gold who gets Stockholm Syndrome and falls in love with a bank robber... ay ay ay... now we know why this fell into obscurity, despite Tarantino's involvement. Goodness starts at the 10:00 mark in the full film (seen below) or just click this link to go directly to the sex.

3. Mr. and Mrs. Smith. This obnoxiously bad ripoff of "Prizzi's Honor" at least satisfied one requirement of the Hollywood action genre: a gratuitous, PG-13 rated sex scene. You actually see the moment where Brad Pitt decided to cheat on Jennifer Aniston in this clip.

2. The Terminator. It takes a hell of a director to making these two co-stars look sexy-- which is why James Cameron now has more money than a Fannie Mae exec. No wonder he ended up with Linda Hamilton for many years...

1. 300. Try watching any random section of dialogue in this film. Seriously-- you won't be able to last ten seconds without breaking out in fits of hysterical laughter. But this sex scene will shut you up right quick.

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

William Zantzinger, subject of the Bob Dylan protest song "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll," died in Maryland of undisclosed causes.

Ian McKellen isn't too upset PBS doesn't have the balls to include the nude scene in their broadcast of his play.

Marilyn Manson is being sued by his ex-bandmate for twenty million dollars. Why do we care? Wait till you hear what Manson apparently spent the band's royalties on...

Bier, otherwise known as Madonna Wayne Gacy, sued Manson for more than $20 million last year, claiming Manson siphoned off millions of dollars in band revenue.

The funds allegedly paid for drugs, assorted Nazi paraphernalia, the cost of Von Teese's engagement ring and the ex-couple's 2005 wedding, and the interior decorating of Manson's mansion, which features a stuffed grizzly bear, a pair of baboons and the skeleton of a 4-year-old Chinese girl. [E!]

Patricia Arquette shilled for PETA.

Sources say pop singer Fergie is getting married this weekend. At last, a wedding the gossip rags aren't going apeshit over.

Kate Winslet said her teenage co-star was "terrified" during their sex scenes together in The Reader. Who can blame him? We'd have made a mess of the whole thing-- repeatedly.

Even though photos prove he was seeing Angelina Jolie on the side while still married, Brad Pitt claims he did not cheat.

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich will not resign before he's impeached, even though a committee voted 21-0 to remove him. It's now in the hands of the State House of Representatives.

And Maine is getting the topless coffee shop! Hooray?

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Top 5 Sex Scenes Set in the Great Outdoors

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:55:00 GMT

After a holiday hiatus, our regular feature returns. This week's list is wishful thinking-- we probably couldn't get away with outdoor sex in today's 36-degree New York weather... you'll have to let us know how your reenactments go in warmer climes...

5. U-Turn. Honestly, we didn't even remember that Jennifer Lopez was in this movie before finding this clip. Still haunting our memories, however, are those extreme closeups of Billy Bob Thornton's teeth.

Jennifer Lopez Outdoor Sex Scene

4. The Hot Spot. This tender nude scene was featured on our Jennifer Connelly list way back when. Hey, if you want to complain about seeing Jennifer Connelly naked again, we can't really help you.

Jennifer Connelly - The Hot Spot

3. Three. We would've had to field serious complaints if we didn't include this raunchy, sexual assault-turned cheeseball sex scene from some straight-to-DVD Kelly Brook vehicle. You'd be amazed how many fans this actress has...

Beach Sex

2. Fast Times At Ridgemont High. The two sex scenes with Jennifer Jason Leigh in this movie take place outdoors (one, in a semi-private changing room; the other, a baseball dugout), but they're clearly overshadowed by this sex-free fantasy sequence that would be our #1... if... only... she would touch someone... anyone...

Phoebe Cates-Fast Times At Ridgemont High

1. Domino. We're pretty sure it doesn't happen like this in the original cut of the movie (or any official cut, for that matter), but the homemade repeition is an addition we're thankful for.

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Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 17:55:00 GMT

Chloe Sevigny, who, we can attest from our one public encounter with her, has the best gams in town, talked with Esquire about blow jobs, Vincent Gallo, aroused casting directors, movie sex scenes, and why it's annoying when people say she looks better in person...

Here are our favorite moments, which unlike the original story, is annotated with links that help explain what she's talking about:

Harry Dean Stanton is very profound--everything that comes out of his mouth. There's so much weight to that guy. He always knows all his lines, always prepared. True, he might come straight from the bar, but he's got it together.
I'm ambitious, but I'm not ambitious enough to move to Los Angeles.
Stones over Beatles.

Then what I get a lot, too, which I think is really odd, is, "You're so much prettier in person." All the time. They think that makes me feel good?
I always found it distracting to be watching a movie and there was a love scene and the girl had her bra on.
I saw it in Cannes with everybody else. Vincent [Gallo] and I, we don't really speak anymore. But I'll always love him, and I hope that he makes another movie that's a million times better than Buffalo '66 or The Brown Bunny and blows everybody out of the water. And he will, if he can ever get the money for it.
Maybe we went too far.

She's referring, of course, to the infamous, epic on-screen blow job she gave Gallo in Gallo's movie The Brown Bunny, one of the most critically despised films ever released. Read more about that here.

I had an agent once who said that in an audition you have to make the women want to be you and the men want to fuck you. I said, I'm sorry, I can't just go into a room and, like, try to achieve that. That's not my motivation in life.

The rest of her quotes are here.

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PG Porn Wishes You A Bloody Christmas

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 18:06:00 GMT

James Gunn is back with another "love it or want to have its creator whacked" episode of PG Porn, last fall's hottest viral video.

As before, there's no graphic sex, but that doesn't mean it isn't titillating...

Here's the video-- but tread carefully. Not only is this NSFW despite the "PG" label, it's gross in every imaginable way-- from a barf-covered drunken mama to an eyeball hanging out of its socket, and buckets of blood in between (starting after the 2 minute mark-- so enjoy until then.)

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Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:08:00 GMT

A rogue church threatened to publicly broadcast the details of a married woman's sex life after she refused to break up with her secret lover. (They sent her a letter announcing their intentions, even though she'd quit attending services there.)

A former member of the White House's inner circle, who was all set to testify in court against Karl Rove and his rigging of the 2004 Presidential election in Ohio, died in a plane crash over the weekend. We were waiting for the mainstream media to pick up on this story and at least dismiss it-- of course, they've so far chosen to ignore even a cursory mention, even though it's several days old.

Sam Mendes spoke out about watching the sex scene between his wife and Leo...

Sam Mendes says directing wife Kate Winslet as she grappled with Leonardo DiCaprio in the steamier scenes in "Revolutionary Road" was "a profoundly weird experience" - so weird that he couldn't watch it. Instead, he monitored the action on a video... [PageSix]

Prosecutors don't seem to care about our rights. They don't care what the jury decides, either.

A Beverly Hills plastic surgeon fled the country when it was discovered he was powering his SUV with what he'd gleaned off his liposuction patients.

Possibly under the assumption they would lose, the Screen Actors Guild delayed a vote on whether or not to strike.

According to one paper, the economy is not stopping women from spending ridiculous amounts of money on makeup. The "lipstick effect" is in play, just as it was during the Great Depression.

A man tried to get his murder case retried, claiming two jurors had sex with one another and the guards overseeing them were inspired for some of the same. Thanks, M.

And breaking up with Hugh Hefner somehow landed Holly Madison the cover of Playboy.

Top 5 Sex Scenes From... 2007

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 21:05:00 GMT

Yes, we know, not only was 2007, like, ages ago but we already did a Best of 2008 list.

Well, that one was a smash success and you know how we enjoy sequels... let's touch on the best scenes of last year for other reasons as well: Unlike the 2008 list, every one of these films is available to rent in the United States and, well, the sex is way hotter. For God's sake-- Lust/Caution is borderline XXX... and we have to scenes from it here:

5 & 4. Lust/Caution. Ang Lee followed up 2006's Gay Sex Movie Brokeback Mountain with an NC-17 dud that features Tony Leung and Tang Wei tearing each other apart, almost literally. Here are two back-to-back sex scenes that kept us from turning the epic off about halfway through...

3. Hotel Chevalier (a short film/outtake from The Darjeeling Limited.) Natalie Portman has said she regrets doing this scene. That's not because her ass doesn't look spectacular in it or anything-- more likely, her complaint is due to Wes Anderson cutting her entire appearance from the print and letting dudes all over the world download it for free from iTunes.

Natalie Portman Nude

2. We Own The Night. Already long forgotten, this Joaquin Phoenix-led ensemble drama featured a brief Eva Mendes sex scene early on. The only reason to watch this movie? Eva Mendes. The only reason to watch a sex scene this short and dull? Eva Mendes.

1. Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. A ridiculously and rather overrated heist pic, this one piles on the implausible twists from beginning to end, opening with the most implausable of all: Philip Seymour Hoffman giving it to Marisa Tomei doggystyle. Same with #2-- this movie wouldn't be the same without Tomei...

If that doesn't work you, try our Honorable Mention, also from BTDKYD. It's a nude scene, with the sex having happened earlier, but it's worth watching nonetheless:

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:08:00 GMT

Apparently, bisexual men enjoy The Rock.

What are these parents going to tell their kids when they get beat up because they insist, even into their later years, that they clearly remember going to the North Pole, where they met Ronald McDonald and Santa Claus?

The producer of Don't Look Now's unforgettable sex scene clears up the "did they or didn't they" debate:

“My company had made it and it was the most beautiful lovemaking scene with Donald Sutherland [and Julie Christie.]

“[It was] beautiful visually and beautiful emotionally because it is in fact about a married couple who have gone through a terrible tragedy and they are trying to get themselves back together so it was a very strong, important part of the picture.”

However, Deeley insisted that contrary to popular belief Sutherland and Christie were merely acting.

As usual, Hollywood's shitty fare fell flat on its face at the box office this weekend.

At 33, Tara Reid finally checked into rehab.

A teenage girl had her party crashed by an obnoxious Facebook group. On the plus side, it might lead to a modeling contract for her.

And George Bush was nearly assaulted by two flying shoes at a press conference. They were thrown by an Iraqi journalist, who said something like "This is the end, you dog" and wanted to insult Junior.

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Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 22:02:00 GMT

In putting together this week's Top 5 Sex Scenes list, we rediscovered a lost gem... and decided against subjecting you to a clip from The Rocky Horror Picture Show, for which you should thank us...

#5: Pretty Baby. Until today, we had entirely forgot Sarandon was even in this movie... and, of course, that she was naked in it, touching her boobs with a wet finger. Yummy white powder.

#4: The Hunger. We've done this one to death... but how could you ever forgive us for leaving this off Susan Sarandon's list?

S Sarandon - Hunger

#3 & #2: Bull Durham. This one's a twofer, obviously. Who, in seeing this film, didn't run immediately home and knock everything off their kitchen counter/table for an evening of wild sex? And who among the single men who watched this movie didn't go home and knock everything off their table, just for the hell of it?

#1: White Palace. What is up with that sandwich? And why does it take her three seconds to get off once she's on top of him? These are just a small sample of the questions that a movie as bizarre and forgettable as White Palace will leave you with. Only the memory of this sex scene will keep you from having wasted your time.

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What's It Like Having Sex With Leonardo DiCaprio?

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 19:25:00 GMT

Zoe Kazan plays Leo's young secretary in the new Sam Mendes movie Revolutionary Road, which looks somehow more unappealing than that other droning Kate Winslet-led melodrama, Little Children. However, there are apparently some nasty sex scenes this time around to at least make us want to pay money to see Leonardo DiCaprio "act..."

In an extended profile for the New York Observer, Kazan (granddaughter of the witch-hunter/director) talks about the sticky-hot sex she had with the Boy Wonder:

Her frightened, large eyes play to her advantage; she laughs crassly; and she looks perfectly abandoned when Frank leaves her naked, barely covered by a sheet, and tells her she’s been “swell.”
“It’s been cut down to just a topless scene now, but I’m glad for, you know, my parents’ sake,” Ms. Kazan said (she’d done an excruciatingly long nude scene in The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie). “Also, it was a really hot day when we were shooting in Maureen’s apartment in Harlem with no air-conditioning, and we were all sticky and blotchy. These were just not the best conditions for, like, a nude scene.”

Actually, that sounds about right to us.

After they finished filming the scene (and Ms. Kazan had donned her robe), Mr. DiCaprio hugged her and told her she had done “a good job.” But Ms. Kazan—whose boyfriend is There Will Be Blood and Little Miss Sunshine star Paul Dano—wasn’t too star-struck.

Read the rest at NY Observer.

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Hot or Not: Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 17:29:00 GMT

Clad in nipple rings, tainted by a deliberately rough makeup job, the gorgeous Marisa Tomei serves as-- believe it or not-- the beautiful half of the Mickey Rourke-and-the-stripper pairing at the center of The Wrestler, an upcoming critical favorite.

Darren Aronofsky is widely believed to have recovered from The Fountain with this awards-season bait, with Mickey Rourke a shoo-in for a Best Actor nomination (even at the Oscars, which is saying something.) But until today, we hadn't heard word one about Marisa Tomei being in the film or, more importantly, her second epic nude scene in as many years.

Tomei plays a stripper-- that much we know and that much we want to know. The rest, we'd rather learn as we watch the movie (aren't all cinema experiences better if you don't even know what the movie's about, only that you should see it?) However, we can't resist a few leaked topless photos and we're sure you won't mind either:

Well, it's not Before The Devil Knows You're Dead, but who's complaining?

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 19:10:00 GMT

Nobel Son, an indie favorite from last year's Tribeca Film Festival, finally gets released today in a few theaters throughout the country. And although it stars Alan Rickman, Danny Devito, Mary Steenburgen (a personal favorite of ours), Ted Danson, and Bill Pullman, we doubt anything will make you want to see more than this sex scene teaser...

Eliza Dushku, who played Faith on Buffy and Angel and starred in Bring It On, is set to break out from the B-list pack with this art film... and an Ali Larter/Sophie Monk-style nude surprise. Since it's a teaser, we don't get much more than side boob, but we don't need actual boobs to get turned on. Here we go...

This link will take you to a much higher quality clip, with more ass. Not bad... for an art film.

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Top 5 Nude Scenes of 2008

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:08:00 GMT

Mr. Skin released his Top 10 Sex Scenes of 2008, but to see what that dirty old man is raving about, you have to sign up and give your credit card to a bunch of perverts.

Or you could see them all for free, thanks to the beauty of Google and our embedding, um, tool...

5. Neve Campbell. We took some flack for ragging on (a photo of) Neve Campbell's nipples in a screencap from I Really Hate My Job, but seeing them in action here, they like quite normal to us. That's the problem with screencaps, of course: they're never as titilating as the real thing.

4. Asia Argento. Picking a favorite nude scene from Asia Argento is like picking your favorite $100 bill-- they're all equally fantastic, as well as a wonder to behold. Here's one from some Italian or Spanish movie-- but what do you care?

3. Heather Graham. When we first caught Heather Graham in Swingers, we never suspected that every movie since would feature her getting nailed in the nude. You'd think she'd go the Julia Roberts route and Neve Campbell would end up more of a Denise Richards type. But nope... and not that we're complaining. When was the last time you enjoyed seeing a Julia Roberts sex scene?

2. Mischa Barton. We can't believe we're saying this, but how adorable is a crying, curly-haired Mischa Barton dubbed in Spanish in this scene from Closing the Ring?

1. Sophie Monk. The catchphrase of the year is not "Change" or even "Pancakes." It's "foreplay is for losers." See why, with this clip:

The rest of the top 10, according to Mr. Skin: Anna Farris in the House Bunny; Mena Suvari in Stuck; Amy Smart in Mirrors; Penelope Cruz in Elegy; and Aneglina Jolie in Wanted, which we may post next week if you have those.