Scanner : science

Tropical Ants Have Completely Done Away With Men

Emily Farris — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 14:34:00 GMT

A species of ant has decided they don't need men anymore. And have done away with them. Completely.

Biologists from the University of Arizona have found that the Amazonian Ant (otherwise known as the Mycocepurus smithii), has "dispensed with sex."

Not only is the Amazonian Ant now an all-female species—basically genetically cloning their daughters to reproduce—the ants are no longer capable of mating even if they had male counterparts. An essential part of the ants' reproductive system, called the "mussel organ," has "degenerated."

[Yahoo!: The all-female ant species that doesn't need sex to reproduce]

Related:

That is Not a Berry, That's an Ant's Ass

**The Science of Backing That A*s Up**

Harvard Kids Think Science is Sexy.. And So Can You

Maine Wood Frogs More Despreate For Sex Than We Are

Emily Farris — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 16:59:00 GMT

It turns out that a colony of wood frogs in Maine are more desperate for sex than we are. The 2 to 2 1/2-inch frogs that quack like ducks are in some serious trouble. You see, once they come out of hibernation, the little guys and gals have what they call "Big Night." It's their annual spring mating ritual, and it generally coincides with the first warm spring rain. But up in northern Maine, their favorite orgy pool, "Club Amphibian" is still iced over. And it gets worse.

Unlike some of us who eat too much to make up for the fact that we haven't had sex in, say, five months, wood frogs cannot eat until they've mated.

"There's a little, little bit of open water around the edges, so the animals usually hang out around the edges, waiting to get in," Aram Calhoun, a University of Maine associate professor of wetland ecology and a wetland scientist for Maine Audubon in Orono, said. "Isn't that something? That must be depressing for a cold-blooded animal. You get to the edge of the pool, and the whole bloody thing is frozen and they're probably saying, 'I told you it was too early to go.' There will be a lot of salamander divorces this time of year," she said.

Salamanders, however, apparently have many years to breed while wood frogs need to make it happen. Now. "Wood frogs are explosive breeders, yet they only live 3 to 5 years, so they only have a couple of times, if that, to breed," Calhoun said. "So, they're very anxious. Much more than the salamanders, which live 15 to 20 years."

This might explain why wood frogs are so damn horny:

Salamanders gather congress-style - they all get in the pool together - and do a little courtship dance, and no one gets hurt. With wood frogs, it's not good to be a female. "It's not uncommon for the females to drown, because she has three or four males on top of her," Calhoun said.

Wood frogs are the only frogs she knows of that attempt to mate with non-frog species.To illustrate just how crazy wood frog sex can be, Calhoun's graduate student, Kevin J. Ryan, who is working on his study site in Canterbury, Conn., photographed a wood frog trying to mate with a salamander."We've had wood frogs mating with our data loggers," Calhoun said. "The data loggers, they're in little plastic containers and they're mating with the containers. They don't care. It's just something to put your arms around. It's been a long winter, you know?"

Oh, we know. It has been a long winter.

But back to the frogs... if "Club Amphibian" doesn't thaw soon, they'll most likely move onto a new orgy pool, which, as Calhoun points out, could result in many squished frogs in the road.

Godspeed, little wood frogs!

[Sun Journal: Driven to mate, frogs on the move to orgy pools]

Related:

Study: Strawberries 'Splain Sex

Anti-Teen Pregnancy Ad Proves PETA Doesn't Want Animals To Breed?

Bestiality Bust Is Our Favorite Swedish Sex Story Ever

[Image]

Chimps Will Put Out for a Piece of Meat, And So Will We

Emily Farris — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:09:00 GMT

JUST IN CASE YOU MISSED THIS STORY WHEN SCANNER COLLEEN DID IT A WEEK AGO (BECAUSE SCANNER EMILY DID—FLUCK!)

And by piece of meat we don't mean that beefcake from the elliptical machine—or the nearest tree if we're talking about chimps. No we mean delicious, bloody, iron-filled, gets-stuck-in-your-teeth meat.

Researches recently found, after following around 20 adult chimpanzees in Côte d’Ivoire's Taï National Park, that female chimps put out more often for males that shared food with them than for those who didn't.

Now, the chimps aren't going on dates, exchanging meat for sex that night. The barter happens over the course of weeks or months, with the males "accruing credit" by supplying the lady chimps with meat from multiple hunts.

"They can keep track somehow of what they have received or given in the past," said one of the anthropologists involved in the study. "It doesn't mean they're aware of this. It could be emotional. In humans, you don’t even really know how many coffees someone has bought for you in the past, you just generally feel that this person is nice to you. It creates a positive feeling toward that person."

Makes sense. If a guy was constantly bringing us steak sandwiches, steak frites, juicy hamburgers and street meat, we imagine it'd only be a matter of time before we'd want to get our hands—and mouth—on his meat. And if that makes us no better than a monkey, well... we'd rather be a monkey with a steady stream of steak and sex than a respectable human without either.

[FOXNews: Chimps Exchange Meat for Sex, Study Finds]

Related:

Chimps Pimp Selves Out for Meat

The Crazy Chimp Lady Plot Thickens

Arby's is Not Even Trying

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About "Horrific Beetle Sex"

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 00:40:00 GMT

We should probably preface this by letting you know that the article that sparked this post is called "Horrific beetle sex: why the most successful males have the spikiest penises."

So, why is it that the most successful males have the spikiest penises? A possible answer and a terrifying picture after the jump.

According to the blog, Not Exactly Rocket Science, Mother Nature graced the male seed beetle with that monstrosity to the right—which obviously injures the female seed beetle—because:

It's possible that the injuries directly benefit the males, either because they stop the females from mating again or spend more efforts in raising their fertilised eggs to avoid the strain of future liaisons.

The alternative is that the spikes could give the males an edge in "sperm competitions", where they compete with rivals not through direct combat, but through fertilising as many eggs as possible. In this theory, the spines are important for winning these competitions, and the wounds they inflict are simply a nasty side-effect.

Sounds a little like some men we know: beating up their women so they'll be in no shape for another man. We can't imagine seed beetles care about monogomy, though, so we're going to go with the second "sperm competition" theory. (But what do we know about beetle sex? Absolutely nothing.)

Also, you've heard of a fluffer right? Well, to find out exactly what a bettle penis looked like, two lucky scientists got to fluff some male beetles:

The duo studied beetles taken from 13 countries across the tropics, from Brazil to the USA, and from Nigeria to Oman. The genitals of these different populations are very varied and to study them under a microscope, Hotzy and Arnqvist first had to fluff their subjects. They anaesthetised the males with carbon dioxide, and erected their penises with an "artificial inflater" - a microscopic plastic tip connected to a pump. Under a microscope, they measured the length of the longest spines and the size of the entire spine-bearing area.

Even after examining the males and females, however, scientists are still unsure of why the male beetle has a penis covered in spikes.

Luckily, for the female seed beetle, she can hold her own. She apparently has a huge amount of connective tissue lining her sexual tracts, so that whatever terrible sexual act the male beetle performs on her, she's not affected too badly. And (this is awesome) when she's had enough, she kicks the male until he lets go, it gets him to cum faster and get that spiky shaft the fuck out of her beetle juice.

Related:

Birds Do It, Bees Do It, See it at Zoorotica

Video of the Day: Isabella Rossellini's Arty, Ridiculous, Awesome Bug Porn

Isabella Rossellini Does Bug Porn

Hey Ladies: That Pesky Period May Help Prevent Parkinson's

Emily Farris — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 19:38:00 GMT

I am scared to death of developing Parkinson's Disease. And the reason is pretty ridiculous, I admit. I resemble no one in my family but my paternal grandmother Ruth, whose middle name I also share. We ~~have~~ had the same hands, the same feet and recently my aunt gave me a picture of Grandma Ruth in her 20's. She could be my twin. In her 50's she developed the degenerative neurological disease and by the time I was old enough to communicate, it was full blown. She was shaky, her tongue was always hanging out of her mouth, her speech was slurred and slow. For a while, I was actually sort-of afraid of her. So, regretfully, I never really got to know one of my grandmothers. It was only last year that I learned she was an English teacher (I knew she taught history, but not that she also taught English; this explains why my dad had me quoting Shakespeare at the age of three). And as much as my dad tells me he thinks the factors leading to her Parkinson's were environmental, and no genetic link has been proven, I still worry that someday, I will be shaky Grandma Emily, unable to communicate with my grandchildren.

A new study at least makes me feel a little better about all of this.

Research out of Beth Israel Medical Center in New York found that longer exposure to the body's own hormones, including estrogen, may help protect the brain cells that affected by Parkinson's.

The disease occurs almost twice as often in men, and the study reports that women who menstruate for 39 years or longer are 25% less likely to develop Parksinson's, compared to women who were fertile less than 33 years. (For once, I am sort of glad I got my period at 11, now if I can just keep it going until I'm 50, I'll be golden.)

The study also found that women who have four or more children (like my Grandma Ruth) are at a higher risk for Parkinson's, possibly because "the post-partum period, which is typically one with lower levels of estrogen, subtracts from a woman's total fertile lifespan," according to the study's co-author Sylvia Wassertheil-Smoller, Ph.D., professor of epidemiology and population health and the principal investigator of the WHI study at Einstein.

Of course, this is one study in probably a million and a study tomorrow could say exactly the opposite, but, hey, it makes me feel a little better.

[Science Daily: Naturally Produced Estrogen May Protect Women From Parkinson's Disease]

Related:

Before Aunt Flow Knew Where to Go: A History of Menstrual Products

Graydon Carter Won't Say the M Word

The Latest Kool Kid Kraze: Vodka Tampons

Sloppy Seconds: Bristol Palin's New Gig

Emily Farris — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 23:33:00 GMT

Hey, Scanner Brian: Hayden Panettiere is single again. [Us]

Think your man might be a closeted homo? Take this super-reliable, scientific quiz to find out for sure! [MyDailyMoment]

A book written early in J.R.R. Tolken's career is about to be published for the first time. [Yahoo!]

Suze Orman had only one wish on Valentine's Day: that gay marriage be legalized. [AfterEllen]

Bristol Palin would now like to be an advocate, um, like, against teen pregnancy. "I wish [getting pregnant] would happen in like 10 years so I could have a job and an education and be, like, prepared and have my own house and stuff. ... I hope that people learn from my story and just, I dunno, prevent teen pregnancy I guess." [Slate]

Is Bristol Palin now Bristol Palin-Johnston?

Top 5 Rumors We'd Like to Start About Sarah Palin... But Won't

We Will Totally Crap Our Pants if Bristol Palin Pops Out a Mixed Race Baby

This Week in Gayness: How to Tell Your Boyfriend Is Closeted

[Image]

No Foreplay For You

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 15:51:00 GMT

Just in time for Valentine's Day: a new "study" we'll all agree to hate, saying foreplay is completely unnecessary, validating horndogs everywhere...

The findings appear in this week's issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine. (Wait, there's a Journal of Sexual Medicine? Why hasn't anyone sent us a subscription?) The article starts out by saying that therapists have been telling dudes for years that they need to warm their ladies up before things really get going. As lazy, selfish men have tried to tell everyone for years, this advice turns out to be irrelevant:

Turns out, [says the study of 2360 Czech women], sex time was correlated with orgasm consistency, but foreplay time was not. The results held even after excluding women who said they were with literal minutemen (these guys may have had problems with premature ejaculation.)

Among all the women, the average reported foreplay duration was 15.4 minutes, and the average intercourse duration 16.2 minutes, significantly higher than has been reported in American samples. The authors write: "It could be that this reflects, on average, a greater appreciation of intercourse and sensuality by Europeans than by Americans." Oh? Is that why Europe is the only continent with a population drop from 2000 to 2005? [Psychology Today]

Hey, leave the jokes to us, Psychology Today... not that we can come up with a comeback or anything...

Of the women who report average intercourse length of 1 to 10 minutes, 50% had an orgasm most of the time and 28% had them in a minority of cases or never. For women who report 11 to 20 minutes, the numbers are 62% and 22%, and for the women who boink more than 20 minutes they're 72% and 13%. On word of this research, I would not buy stock in Trojan Ultra Thins.

Oh. Snap. By the way, you can read more of this at Psychology Today, via Gawker.

Related:

Today in WTF? The WTF Blanket Will Give You Super Herpes

O Face: The National Anthem

Mini-Me Makes Up For Size With Stamina In Bed

Scanner Roundtable: Is Oral Sex Overrated?

Russians Confused By, Not Necessarily Believers in the Female Orgasm

Anti-AIDS Gel is Somewhat Promising

Colleen Kane — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 19:20:00 GMT

Reuters reports that a microbicide gel formulated by Indevus Pharmaceuticals to protect female users from the AIDS virus does work. The future is here!

The catch?

It's only effective on 30 percent of the test group of 3,000 women. (And how was this conducted? Were they all exposed to the virus without other protection?) Of course it's great that strides are being made in AIDS prevention--but I don't like those odds. Keep trying, science.

Cure For AIDS Discovered? Or Is It HIV?

Abstinence-Only Tip Of The Week: A cup of Bleach A Day Keeps The AIDS Away

I Feel Bad About Your Chin, Meg Ryan

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 21:52:00 GMT

A new study indicates women who have stronger chins are more likely to cheat.

Dennis Quaid saw this photo of Meg Ryan and proclaimed, "I should have known..."

According to psychologists at Western Ontario University, women with "larger" chins, like former A-list star Meg Ryan can mean more testosterone:

Larger chins on women are often caused by a high level of the male growth hormone testosterone, present in all women in various amounts.

The hormone also increases sexual assertiveness in a woman, a tendency more commonly attributed to males.

The researchers, from four universities across the US and Canada, took a group of young women and questioned them on their sexual histories and fantasies.

These women were then rated by a group of men on their desirability as a life partner.
It was concluded that men will shun women with such masculine features when looking for a long-term partner because they fear being cuckolded.

Psychologists believe it is linked to their evolutionary desire to have a partner who will produce children for only one man.

We're not sure why being more sexually assertive means you're more likely to cheat on your husband with dopey ol' Russell Crowe, but whatever.

Obama Speechwriter and His Maxim Girl Steam Up the White House

Women Get Away With Affairs Because of Their Expert Lying, Says Woman Who Got Away With An Affair With Future British Prime Minister

Photo Essay: Revenge of the Cheated

Wife Catch You Online Dating? Try Ashley Madison

Arousal Brings Out the Creep in Many Dudes

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 17:10:00 GMT

We all know that alcohol can make men do stupid things. Now science has proven that boners are even worse for our judgment...

According to Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions, a book by MIT professor Dan Ariely, in a new paperback edition, explores "Why Hot Is Much Hotter Than We Realize." We don't even know what that means, since we all but failed high school science classes. We'll let Professor Ariely explain, via a summation on The Book Outline Wiki page:

The author and his partner conducted a series of experiments on Berkeley students (no, not those sort of experiments, silly.) Asking them a series of questions-- first, straight; then, after the undergraduates had worked themselves into a state of arousal.

- The results show that people simply don't realize how different their decision-making is during a state of arousal. A few representative results
  - Can you imagine having sex with a 60-year-old woman
    - Sober: 7%
    - Aroused: 23%
  - Could you enjoy having sex with someone you hated?
    - Sober: 53%
    - Aroused: 77%
  - Is just kissing frustrating?
    - Sober: 41%
    - Aroused: 69%
  - Would you slip a woman a drug to increase the chance she'd have sex with you?
    - Sober: 5%
    - Aroused: 26%
  - Would you use a condom even if you were afraid that a woman might change her mind while you went to get it?
    - Sober: 86%
    - Aroused: 60%
- Implications
  - Someone may promise to just say no, but that promise is less likely to hold up during a state of arousal

Via Book Outline Wiki.

Are Too Few Baby Boys Being Circumcised?

Emily Farris — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 21:29:00 GMT

According to new research, the number of baby boys being circumcised in the U.S. is dropping. While critics of circumcision may think this is a good thing, the reason behind the drop may not be.

Circumcision rates have decreased significantly since the 1980s, partially due to the fact that many people find the procedure cruel and unnecessary, but in part the drop can be attributed to the fact that 16 states do not currently cover the cost of a circumcision in their Medicad programs. According to some, this is taking the choice away from the poor.

Robert C. Bailey, a professor of epidemiology at the University of Illinois at Chicago, thinks that "It's another way in which our health system is increasing inequality across the population. People who can't afford good health care are essentially being discriminated against by this policy."

The states that don't cover circumcision are: Arizona, California, Florida, Idaho, Louisiana, Maine, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, North Carolina, North Dakota, Oregon, Utah and Washington and circumcision rates are "significantly lower" in those states, according to the research.

[US News & World Report: Circumcision Rates Too Low]

Related:

Reversing That Circumcision Even Scarier Than You Thought

You're Circumcised? Well, That Explains It...

Baby Born With Extra Penis, Parents Have it Removed Why?

[Image]

Microchip To Make Sex Fiends, Nerds Out of All of Us

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 17:35:00 GMT

Are you one of those people who doesn't derive any pleasure from sex and/or eating?

Oxford University is all set to provide eyesight to your romantic blindness...

The chip works by sending tiny shocks from implanted electrodes in the brain.

The technology has been used in the United States to treat Parkinson's disease.

But in recent months scientists have been focusing on the area of the brain just behind the eyes known as the orbitofrontal cortex - this is associated with feelings of pleasure derived from eating and sex.

It turns out, a scientist implanted a microchip in the brain of a woman who doesn't enjoy sex and made a wild, insatiable beast of her.

A research survey conducted by Morten Kringelbach, senior fellow at Oxford University's department of psychiatry, found the orbitofrontal cortex could be a "new stimulation target" to help people suffering from anhedonia, an inability to experience pleasure from such activities. His findings are reported in the Nature Reviews Neuroscience journal.

There you have it, ladies, soon penis size won't matter, because you'll be pre-programmed to enjoy any stimulation whatsoever. Welcome to Stepford....

Via the Telegraph.

Related:

9-Year-Old Boy Teaches You How To Pick Up Girls

Hey Ladies: This Is Why You Aren't Enjoying Sex...

The One Way You Never Thought You'd Have An Orgasm

Italians Find Your G-Spot, Promptly Lose It Again

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:20:00 GMT

A group of Italian scientists have located the g-spot. We repeat: men have found the g-spot.

By the way, those lousy scientists claim that if you're one in four women, you don't have a g-spot for a guy to lose his mind attempting to locate...

According to their research, just published in New Science, the quacks claim only eight of the thirty women who participated in their study could be found, via ultrasound, to have a g-spot. All but one of those eight were able to have vaginal orgasms, if you count the two who were given assistance in finding their zone by the Eye-talians.

Interestingly,

Women capable of orgasm during penetrative sex have a thicker tissue area in the region between the vagina and the urethra – meaning it’s now easy to medically tell the difference between the lucky “cans” and the “can-nots”. [Live News.com.au]

Don't despair, "thin-tissued females," you can still give yourself vaginal orgasms... "through practice." Of course, the scientists couldn't be bothered to elaborate on what that means.

Related:

The One Way You Never Thought You'd Have An Orgasm

Meet Aiko: She'll Love You Long Time (And Do Your Taxes)

Sexy Priest: The 2009 Calendar... From the Vatican

48-Year-Old Carol Alt Finally Does Playboy

Study: Strawberries 'Splain Sex

Emily Farris — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:22:00 GMT

(Sorry, we just love alliteration.)

Anyway, unless you're our mom, or Sarah Palin, you might not argue with the statement that we all came from hermaphrodites. But for years, biologists have tried to figure out why and how the separate male and female sexes evolved.

Now a fruit we already associate with sex may hold the answer.

[R]esearch on wild strawberry plants is providing evidence for such a transition and the emergence of sex, at least in plants. And the results... likely apply to animals like us, the researchers say.

The study showed that two genes located at different spots on a chromosome can cast strawberry offspring as a single sex, a hermaphrodite or a neuter (neither male nor female, and essentially sterile). The researchers suspect the two genes could be responsible for one of the earliest stages of the transition from asexual to sexual beings.

"All of the animals and plants that are bi-sexual, or have two sexes, are theorized to have evolved according to a particular set of steps," said researcher Kim Lewers, a plant geneticist at the USDA's Genetic Improvement of Fruits and Vegetables Lab in Maryland. "Until now, no example had been found of the very earliest steps. Therefore, those steps were undemonstrated to be true."

...

Flowering plants (plants equipped with reproductive organs) weren't around until about 140 million to 180 million years ago. "Within flowering plants, separate sexes is thought to have evolved from hermaphroditism independently and repeatedly among lineages," said researcher Rachel Spigler, a postdoctoral student at the University of Pittsburgh, "so there is no one specific date for the evolution of sex chromosomes in plants."

Lewers, Spigler and their colleagues spotted the genetic mutation in a wild strawberry species, Fragaria virginiana, in which the evolution of separate sexes is not complete. So in addition to male and female strawberry plants, there are also some hermaphrodites and neutered individuals.

Through lab work, including genetic mapping, the researchers figured out how the wacky mix of sexes, or no-sexes, worked.

The plants each have two proto-sex chromosomes. Two spots on each proto-sex chromosome contain sex-determining genes, one that controls sterility and fertility in males and another that does the same in females.

Offspring that inherit both fertility versions are hemaphrodites and can self-breed, while plants that inherit one fertility and one sterility version become either male or female. (A female would result from a sterile male and fertile female combination of genes.) Those that get both sterility versions of the genes are considered neuters and can't reproduce, so they ultimately die out.

While the two sex-determining genes are close to one another on the proto-sex chromosomes, the researchers say they are not completely linked. That's why the strawberry offspring can get such a wild mix of the genes.

On our sex chromosomes, for instance, this mixing and matching is not possible (or at least very rare), because the female chromosome is one unit and so is the male sex chromosome.

Any science geeks out there want to put this in layman's terms for us?

[Live Science: Origin of Sex Pinned Down]

Related:

If You're Not in the Mood This V-Day...

If Your Date Orders Caviar, Almond-Covered Truffles, And Ginger Beer... Now You Know Why

In the News: The Tickler Arrested, Canada's Sex Party Sues

[Image]

Study: Men's Hands Cleaner Than Women's

Emily Farris — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:13:00 GMT

I was recently having dinner with a friend and looked down at his forearm, only to find a light-colored streak running up, or down, his skin. I looked at him, looked at his arm, looked at him, and then we laughed for about thirty minutes. He was embarrassed; I was glad we decided not to share French fries.

Not that I really needed to worry—he had washed his hands, he just missed his arm. And according to a new study, women actually carry far more varities of bacteria on their hands then men.

But why?

"Noah Fierer, lead researcher and assistant professor in Colorado’s department of ecology and evolutionary biology, suggested the reason may have to do with the acidity of the skin. Rob Knight, biochemist and co-author said men generally have more acidic skin than women.

"Other possibilities for the variation are gender difference in sweat and oil gland production, frequency of moisturizer and cosmetic application, hormone production and skin thickness.

"Women may also have more bacteria living under their skin, which cannot be removed by standard hand washing."

Yum.

[Tahlequah Daily Press: Study: 'Fairer' sex has dirtier hands!]

Related:

Lost Your Penis in the Penal System? Washington State Has 300 G's For Ya

Stripper Spreads TB. What, They Were Out of the Clap?

[Image]

Having Painful Sex? The Men of New Jersey Would Like To Help

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:15:00 GMT

We realize that our headline is incredibly misleading but we never miss a chance to dig on our neighbors and rivals...

The Asbury Park Press has-- seriously-- gotten its panties in a twist about a bunch of dudes from New Jersey getting approved for an estrogen cream. We have to humbly step aside, without comment, and allow them their moment to shine:

Madison-based Wyeth said it won U.S. approval of a low-dose form of Premarin to treat a condition that makes sexual intercourse painful for some women.
The estrogen cream was approved for the condition known as postmenopausal dyspareunia, the company said today in a statement distributed by PR Newswire. The disorder follows the atrophy, or thinning, of the vagina and vulva that can occur in menopause, usually between the ages of 45 to 55.

The cream has 0.5 grams of estrogens, the company said. The drug will be sold by prescription only. [APP]

Ball's in your court, New York. Now we need to permanently cure impotence or the wandering eye or something... [Image]

Dita Von Teese Graces Us With These Playboy Photos

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Dumb Cops Make Mondays Bearable

This Baptist Minister Thinks You Should Be Having More Sex

Top 5 Celebrities Who May Or May Not Be Attractive: Part One

Feet Magazine So Gross, Even Foot Fetishists Will Puke

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:32:00 GMT

(No) thanks to the reader who alerted us to the gross/amusing oddity that is Feet Magazine.

The blog, which features unseemly extreme close-ups of toes and cuts on the feet of Hollywood stars (including this one of Denise Richards.)

The pictures on Feet Magazine are about 20 times larger than this one, of Scarlett Johansson's toes, ankles, and a very blue carpet. If you want to see what we're talking about, just start browsing here.

Why do people even want to see extreme close ups of feet? An ex-girlfriend who worked in brain mapping in DC explained one general theory: that in the map of your brain, the feet are right next to your sex organs on your sensory map. Some people, if we remember the argument correctly, have the feet part overlapping the genitals part and so they are extra-excited by feet. (It doesn't, to our mind explain why someone else's feet would be so thrilling, versus having your own feet caressed.) Perhaps we'd better let an expert explain this phenomenon:

From a review of the book Phantoms in the Brain, about research conducted on people who could "feel" their lost limbs and even experienced iches in nonexistent nooks that drove them crazy.

[O]ne of the more memorable examples was the woman who developed sexual feelings in her phantom foot. It turns out the parts of the brain that process sensory information for the feet are adjacent to those for the sexual organs (according to the Penfield map). Assuming that the latter brain area expands thanks to the sensory vacuum created by the missing leg, it seems reasonable to think that the feeling in the phantom limb might be a mixture between the two. This may also account for foot fetishes. Interesting.

Spray Away Your Premature Ejaculation

Even Sex Fairs Are Weirder In China

New Lady Gel is Going to Make Your Mom Feel Funny "Down There"

Dumb Cops Make Mondays Bearable

Top 5 Celebrities Who May Or May Not Be Attractive: Part One

This Baptist Minister Thinks You Should Be Having More Sex

Some of the Hottest Women in the Country All Got Naked Together

My Milkshake Brings All the Lard to My A*s

Emily Farris — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 20:51:00 GMT

Have you ever wondered why you get really excited about food, while other people eat it purely because they have to to survive—just like they have to put gas in their cars or drink water or put on clothes every day? Well, we wonder all the time. You probably know by now how much we love food, and when we say there's "Food We'd Like to Fuck" we really just mean we want to eat it in the most amazing way possible. So, yeah, we like food. But why, or how, do some other people eat it just because they have to?

While we're sad those people don't get to enjoy food the way we do, we certainly envy them, or rather, their waistlines.

But it turns out that the difference between how much we love the milkshakes and how much they love the milkshakes might have more to do with science than how much comfort food our parents gave us as children.

In a study of young girls and women, scientists tested the brain's response to a "highly palatable food" - chocolate milkshakes. They found that the part of the brain that releases the feel-good chemical dopamine in response to eating is less active in the obese.

The effect was most pronounced in women born with a gene that reduces their dopamine output by up to 30 to 40 per cent. Not only did their brains show the most blase or blunted reaction to the milkshake, but also, they were more likely to gain weight over the next year.

Scientists discovered it takes more food for obese people to experience the same 'high' as lean people, much as what happens with alcohol or drug abuse. 'If you want to avoid obesity, don't start walking down that path,' said Eric Stice, lead author of the report.

Published in this week's issue of the journal Science, the study is one of the first to show how individual differences in how the brain processes food reward "might put people at risk for overeating given this environment where there's just lots of really palatable food available," said co-author Dana Small, associate professor at Yale University.

The study underscores just how complex the brain's control or response to food is, says a Canadian obesity expert.

"It's quite an exciting study," said Dr. David Lau, chair of the diabetes and endocrine research group at the University of Calgary and president of Obesity Canada. "What they found was that overweight people have less excitatory response. They have to eat more in order to arrive at the same kind of satisfactory signals."

Researchers say it may be possible to turn on the dopamine response using drugs or behavioural therapies.

This could also explain why we can't have just a little sex, or a little whiskey:

His team focused on a particular part of the brain called the dorsal stratum, which is involved in food reward. "It's a circuit involved in everything that makes us feel good," Stice explains - having sex, eating a good meal, drinking alcohol or using drugs. "It's really the same neuro pathway...
"We think what's really going on is, if you consume a diet rich in fat and sugar, you get down regulation of the reward circuitry," Stice said. "By flooding the brain with dopamine your brain adjusts to having fewer receptors." That means it takes more food to experience the same "high" as lean people, much what happens with alcohol or drug abuse.

It is true that when we go without any of these things for an extended period of time (sex, alcohol, sugar, bacon), we start to think we can live without it.

[Canada.com: Obese people respond differently to food, study shows]

Today in Food We'd Like to F*ck: The Hamburger Fatty Melt

Food We'd Like to F*ck: Meat and Mashed Potato Cupcakes

Shameless Self Promotion: My Book!

The Only Way We'd Love Cheetos This Much Is If They Had Jessica Biel's Ass

Your Parents Made You Fat, But Not How You Thought

Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Food

While You Were Sleeping: Better To Be Fat And Fit?

Mean Girls: Dietician Monica Grenfell

Image via Yahoo: Not My Ass

While You Were Sleeping: Human Evolution Ended

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 14:29:00 GMT

You won't see a better headline all day: "ZZ Top regrets snake tour." And yes, it's worth reading beyond the title for the story of those snakes.

Eric Clapton is selling 13 shotguns. The news here? Eric Clapton is a scary, scary mofo.

Even when she finally got it together to get her own driver, Britney Spears still can't escape trouble on the road...

Accident-prone Britney Spears was reportedly involved in another car crash after she was pursued by the waiting paparazzi in California.
The star - who is due to stand trial after she was caught driving without a license last year - was being chauffeured through West Hollywood when a photographer's car collided with her vehicle, reports celebrity website TMZ.com. [Starpulse]

A Brooklyn, NY arts space has introduced the floating brothel. Unfortunately, it's only for actors.

We're not making up this summary: a South Australian man is believed to have impregnated 30 lesbians. Now, the local community is worried about accidental incest....

And one scientist claims that because old men aren't having as much sex with young lasses anymore, human beings are no longer evolving. We failed science, so trust us, it makes a lot more sense when you just read the article.

A British couple proves recycling is super awesome. Or that airline tickets are super cheap if it involves travel to third world countries, such as the United States. (Again, just read it, you'll see what we mean.)

Related:

Reason #8,847 Not To Sleep With A Bali Hooker...

Man Buys Camera On Ebay, Finds Treasure Trove Of MI6 Secret Documents

Man Claims He Was Robbed By Gang Of Topless Women

Sloppy Seconds: Pete Wentz Puts His Money Where His Penis is Not

Because It's Never Too Early to Start Thinking About Slutty Halloween Costumes

Why Women Are Always Taking Their Clothes off Near Sports Cars

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:03:00 GMT

It seems that the sound of a sports car's engine "arouses" 100% of women tested in a study gauging women's responses to the engines of a Maserati, a Lamborghini and a Ferrari, along with a Volkswagon Polo.

But before you head out and buy yourself a two-ton lady catcher, maybe we should all look a little deeper at the origins of this "study."

According to this article in the Telegraph:

Psychologist David Moxon, who conducted the study commissioned by motor insurer Hiscox, said: "We saw significant peaks, particularly in women.

"The roar of a luxury car engine does cause a primeval physiological response."

He added the sound of an average car engine actually led to a decreased level of testosterone.

So the study was commissioned by high end motor insurer Hiscox. Hmmm. What could high-end motor insurer Hiscox stands to gain from telling you that a Maserati will really start a lady's engine? People wanting to get laaaaaid and buying more sports cars because they think it'll get them laaaaaid wouldn't have any affect on Hiscox's business, would it?

Ah, just another adorable way sham science manipulates people into spending money out of feelings of inadequacy. Happy Wednesday.

If Science Projects Could Talk...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 19:21:00 GMT

...what would they say? No, not "if you could build a talking science project, what would it tell you?" This is way better...

According to the Photoshopping hordes at Something Awful, the science projects would say what the kids would get away with if they didn't care about getting a "0" on their work.

We know these are a few months old, but they're goddamned delicious all the same. Lots more, via Something Awful (thanks M.C. for the link.)

Science Knows Why You Left the Bar with That One-Eyed Dude Last Weekend

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:15:00 GMT

Once again, like a broken record of nature sounds, pop science reporting gives us the low down on one night stands and the horrible impact they have on women. And as always, it's probably got something to do with biology and the fact that men will say anything for a piece. Seems that--

Guys just want, well, you know, while gals go to bed with the false impression of flattery and a craving for feeling desirable. The upshot, according to new research, is great for most men and the pits for most women.

Right, again, one more time for those of you who missed it:

Women who have sex with a stranger: gullible and insecure to the point of delusion.

Men who have sex with a stranger: deceptive adolescents.

Can we put this thing to rest once and for all? For the record ladies, as the article states--

"No woman should be flattered because a man wants to have sex with her once."

BUT if you're so good he comes back once more give yourself a pat on the back. You stone fox, you!

Bone Your Way to Better Health

Kelly Deerson — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 20:51:00 GMT

A study published in this month's American Journal of Medicine is reporting that dudes who frequently get their rocks off are less likely to have erectile dysfunction problems in the future.

Researchers at the Tampere University Hospital in Finland analyzed nearly 1,000 men during a five year period, and found that those who had sex less than once a week had twice the incidence of Limp Dick Syndrome than their counterparts who were getting busy once a week. If the dudes had sex more than that, their risk went down even further.

In addition, the researchers in this study found that the participants' incidence of morning wood was a good predictor for the development of erectile dysfunction. Those who woke up hard less than once a week had an "approximate 2.5-fold risk" compared to the guys who had morning erections 2-3 times per week.

So, to all our male readers, don't be ashamed of that tent you're making in the morning. It's a just sign of more good things to come.

via EurekAlert [image]

Turns Out 'Shrooms Are Good for More Than Just "Getting" 2001 - A Space Odyssey

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:28:00 GMT

According to science, magic mushrooms can benefit your outlook and well-being. A study of 36 men and women who ate mushrooms in a lab and then hung out for 8 hours revealed that:

Fourteen months after taking the drug, 64 percent of the volunteers said they still felt at least a moderate increase in well-being or life satisfaction, in terms of things like feeling more creative, self-confident, flexible and optimistic. And 61 percent reported at least a moderate behavior change in what they considered positive ways.

One participant who sounds suspiciously like our college roommate reported:

"It was ... like taking off, I'm being lifted up," she said. Then came "brilliant colors and beautiful patterns, just stunningly gorgeous, more intense than normal reality."

And then, the sensation that her heart was tearing open.

"It would come in waves," she recalled. "I found myself doing Lamaze-type breathing as the pain came on."

Yet "it was a joyful, ecstatic thing at the same time, like the joy of being alive," she said. She compared it to birthing pains. "There was this sense of relief and joy and ecstasy when my heart was opened."

This confirms what we've always suspected: scientists get the best shit. We're through giving that one-eyed guy who hangs out at the park our cash.

Boners On Sale: $0.49/lb

Kelly Deerson — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 19:19:00 GMT

Scientists at Texas A&M’s Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center (sounds like a correctional facility for broccoli, right?) recently discovered that watermelon has ingredients that deliver “Viagra-like effects.”

Dr. Bhimu Patil states that:

In watermelons, [beneficial ingredients] include lycopene, beta carotene and the rising star among its phyto-nutrients – citrulline – whose beneficial functions are now being unraveled. Among them is the ability to relax blood vessels, much like Viagra does.

With the Fourth of July right around the corner, we’re sure that watermelon consumption will be at its peak. Looks like that’s not the only thing that's gonna be peaking this weekend.

via Science Daily

Gays Keep Nature In Balance?

Kelly Deerson — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:47:00 GMT

While many scientists have long theorized that homosexuality is caused by a mixture of nature and nurture, there has remained the question: if part of homosexuality is inherited, why hasn't its occurrence disappeared from the gene pool, considering gay people are less likely to reproduce?

Well, a new study has a pretty good guess.

Researchers at the University of Padova in Italy found that homosexuality in men could be partly influenced by the same genes that cause their female relatives to be super fertile.

This team of researchers in Italy found that the close female relatives of gay men are more fruitful than the average dame. This could be a prime example of sexually antagonistic selection, which basically means that one of the sexes in a family takes a reproductive hit, while the other sex reproduces like they're a member of the Spears family (do Brit and Jamie Lynn have a gay half-brother somewhere?).

This concept has been seen in deer where high-ranking males often produce reproductively unsuccessful daughters. So, when sharing these kinds of genes, one of the sexes gets to have lots of babies and the other doesn't but, in the end, the family tree gets just as many branches as the others in the woods.

Scientists are still having a hard time explaining all the particulars, and they obviously don't believe this to be the one and only answer to the question of homosexuality in men. Still, it's an interesting theory.

Via The Guardian [image]

How Mortality Makes You Fat

Kelly Deerson — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:56:00 GMT

Be careful what you watch before heading to the grocery store!

Researchers in the Netherlands and the U.S. concluded that consumers who recently thought about death wanted to buy and eat more than those who didn't.

In a new joint study by A.S.U. and Erasmus University Rotterdam, some participants were asked to write on their feelings about their own deaths. A control group of participants were asked to write about a painful medical procedure. Sounds like kind of a depressing day at the lab, right?

Well...at least there were cookies! Researchers kept track of the number of cookies each test subject ate, and asked them to check off items to buy on a grocery list. Those who had to write about their deaths not only wanted to buy more items, they also ate more treats.

Apparently, when we're forced to face our own mortality, we do whatever we can to "escape from self-awareness." Taking a cue from any dumped chick in a romantic comedy, they found that one of the easiest ways to let go of the present is, of course, through food.

So if you're watching your weight, try to steer clear of 48 Hours Mystery or CSI before heading out to dinner.

via EurekAlert

Mopey Teenagers and Persnickety Doctors Rejoice!

Kelly Deerson — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:51:00 GMT

We've often been told that we're too sarcastic, and that we should really learn a new brand of humor, but listen folks, science recently discovered that sarcasm plays an important part in human social interaction and is a much-needed survival skill!

That's right—Darlene Conner, Daria, and Dr. House really are more evolved than everyone else.

According to neurophysiologist, Katherine Rankin at the University of California, San Francisco, damage to your parahippocampal gyrus, which is located in the right half of the brain, can result in a loss of the ability to pick up sarcasm. People with dementia or head injuries in this area often lose their ability to understand these types of witticisms. This indicates that sarcasm is a normal, healthy part of human nature and basically a good thing—evolutionarily speaking.

Now, why would sarcasm have evolved in humans? What good does it do us? Well, science hasn't really answered that question fully, apart from saying that humor is a definite necessity in human interaction, and sarcasm is just a “darker form” of said humor.

Well, we may be dark, and we may be misunderstood, but at least we've got proof that one half of our brain is working properly, and there's obviously something to be said about that.

Via LiveScience.

Stem Cells: The Next Miracle Cure for “A Cup-ism?”

Kelly Deerson — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 19:37:00 GMT

Want wrinkle-free skin, big lips, and even bigger tits, but afraid of silicone and botulism? Well, science may just have the answer.

Scientists have long been experimenting with adult stem cells from fat, hair, and teeth for tissue replacement purposes in cancer patients. However, Dr. Daniel Salomon of the department of molecular and experimental medicine at the Scripps Research Institute concedes:

In our society, there is such a huge demand for these rejuvenation surgeries, despite their significant risks, that the pragmatist in me cannot deny the likelihood that it will not be long before someone offers a two-stage procedure starting with liposuction followed by injection of these autologous stem cells for breast augmentation or into the face to rejuvenate.

Several studies are already underway around the world to do just that. So, though it'll probably be a while before we're growing boob fat in petrie dishes, we can't deny the obvious demand for such a thing. People want to look hot, and they want to, you know...live without the fear of paralyzed faces and ruptured boobs.

We'd definitely start buying stock in these dish jugs, if we were you, and actually had money to invest in things other than laptops and canned goods.

Via ABC News

Boys and Bikinis: An In-Depth Study

Kelly Deerson — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 19:51:00 GMT

Did you know that bikini babes make men spend too much money, eat too much food, and just generally lose their shit? Well, researchers do, and listen to how they went about finding this out.

First, they made a bunch of guys fondle t-shirts and bras. Creepy, right? After feeling up the bras (there wasn't even a woman inside), the dudes admitted to "valuing the future less and the present more." Holy crap, people! That's some telling stuff right there. Basically, caution was thrown to the wind, and consequences of actions did not weigh as heavily on their minds as before. The researchers repeated the experiment and received the same results when men looked at pictures and videos of women in bikinis.

Instead of being distracted by their sexual arousal, as you might suspect, the guys actually exhibited improved cognition and creativity after looking at all these sexy things. What science learned from all this hanky panky is that there could be one common "appetite" system in the brain. When it's stimulated by something like a pretty lady, it's basically like flipping a switch, and we want everything that we find pleasing, whether it be platters of hot wings, new video games, or that third shot of Chivas, no matter the repercussions.

Via LiveScience

[image]