Scanner : richard simmons

While You Were Sleeping: It's A Lipstick Jungle Out There

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:10:00 GMT

Women in Saudi Arabia are going to other countries to shop for lingerie because of the male store employees. In other news, Saudi Arabia allows lingerie.

Prince William "can marry a Jedi," but not a Catholic.

Fake Dina Lohan and Fake Christopher Walken were outed and removed, respectively, from Twitter.

Richard Simmons never stops entertaining, even in the airport, and even if it means singing... "Single Ladies?"

What do you do if your first bank robbery fails? Go into the next bank. That way, it's easier for the cops to find you.

No one wants to have to sit through the vile, racist Rush Limbaugh show, which is why Media Matters has set up Limbaugh Wire.

John Mayer is wearing, um, a little sailor suit and, um, sniffing a mankini.

And are you sitting down? Lipstick Jungle has been canceled, if you hadn't already heard.

Lily Allen Has Something to Show You

Facebook Quickly Becoming a Raging Cesspool...

Britain's Sexual Hazing Rituals Apparently News to Some People...

While You Were Sleeping: Carrie Underwood's Dress Was Too Short

While You Were Sleeping: The Rihanna Nightmare Continues

Sloppy Seconds: RNC Chair Tells Critics to "Stuff It"

Emily Farris — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:44:00 GMT

We stopped liking theater pretty much after we had that terrible drama mask tattoo covered with something else, but we're intrigued by "In the Next Room (Or the Vibrator Play." [NYT]

Robert De Niro and Van Morrison will be among Jimmy Fallon's first guests when he takes over "Late Night." [Yahoo!]

Lisa Rinna made a point of not hitting the gym before her Playboy shoot. [People]

Just as Richard Simmons offers Jessica Simpson weight loss advice. [Us]

There are very few things that make us miss living in New York, but this Snuggie pub crawl is one of them. [Snuggie Pub Crawl]

Michael Steele, chair of the RNC says he's taking the Republican Party beyond the cutting edge, so far beyond in fact, that it will be "off the hook." If you don't like it? "Stuff it." [CNN]

This Week in Gayness: The New Transgender Minister

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:16:00 GMT

Bloggers are defending Anderson Cooper's right to privacy. Can a "Leave Anderson Alone" YouTube video be far behind?

Four suspects have been arrested in that San Francisco lesbian gang rape case.

Meanwhile, also from San Francisco, some positive news...

First United Lutheran Church in San Francisco, the first Lutheran church to ordain an openly LGBT pastor in the 1990s, recently welcomed a new queer member of the ministry. Jay Wilson, now one of the few openly transgender pastors in San Francisco, was ordained by Extraordinary Lutheran Ministries and installed as a pastor at First United last month. [Bay Area Reporter]

Ruben Diaz, Sr., part of the Axis of Evil Democrats that are stand in the way of gay marriage in New York State, is under major pressure from unions, LGBT groups, and others to stop his insane power grab.

Believe it or not, the LGBT-friendly Hero of the Week? George W. Bush, who signed legislation that requires "businesses to roll over retirement benefits to a same-sex partner in the event of the employee’s death."

The ACLU is suing ass-backwards Arkansas for barring unmarried people, gay or straight, from adopting. As we said before: great, let's make it harder for people to be happy and for orphans to find homes. This was a top priority!

And that Richard Simmons clip we showed you earlier today? It means he isn't gay, according to Jossip, which obviously didn't even watch it.

This Week In Gayness: The Coming Out TV Series

This Week In Gayness: Straight Man Sues Over Homophobic Taunting

Three Men Jump 12-Year-Old Girl, Beat Her Up, Call Her A Hooker... Then Arrest Her

Video From Crazy Kansas Churchies: Santa Claus a Fag, Rapist

While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Crushing News

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 14:02:00 GMT

The Black Crowes are taking recording back to the era of the basement-- the basement tapes, that is. They'll perform four sold-out concerts at Levon Helm's house and use them for their next record.

Watch Richard Simmons, our personal hero, attack a CNN interviewer's foot live on air.

A four-year-old boy named Nathan Beavers shot his eighteen-year-old male babysitter for...? Ha-- you guessed wrong-- Beavers shot the babysitter for stepping on his foot.

Gaza kids spoke out about how the violence has ruined their lives.

John Travolta's kid's death was caused by a seizure disorder. (Damn, all this sad news about children today-- if anyone hears about a kid sending his allowance to Darfur, let us know.)

Patricia Arquette is getting divorced. Rihanna is getting engaged. And, as we've already mentioned, Jennifer Love Hewitt isn't getting married...

...and Lindsay Lohan is allegedly done with Samantha Ronson. Think she got dumped?

Related:

Caption This: Lindsay Lohan's Boobs And Sam Ronson's Eyeline

Every Time Lindsay Lohan Has a Drink, Deborah Norville Gets a New Fur Coat

The Halo Wedding: More Pathetic Than the Second Life Divorce?

Scanner Highs and Lows: It Hurts So Good

Emily Farris — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 22:44:00 GMT

This week was all about intensity, good, bad and, uh, injected.

First a recap of last Friday night:

High:

Scanner Bryan got touched by an Angel.

Low:

Scanner Emily busted her ass rollerskating, and broke her wrist.

Now for the rest of the week:

Highs:

We drank 40's in the bathtub.

We got engaged. But just for the health insurance. OK, just for the camera.

We decided we like our G-spots just the way they are, thank you very much.

We can die happy: New Kids on the Block are reuniting. Step One: we can have lots of fun. Step Two: There's so much we can do.

We thought about getting cultural; whether we actually will is another story.

We found the greatest Rickroll ever, and almost sat through the entire thing.

Lows:

We almost, maybe, crushed on Lindsay Lohan. But just for a second.

Have we really had Sweedish boob overload?

Is this the future of our country? Worse yet, is this?

We learned we have no memory of dolphins.

Richard Simmons ~~humped~~ helped Jimmy Kimmell. Both were wearing short shorts.

If that's really Giselle, we're really bummed.

Image via imagehost.vendio.com

Video of the Day: Richard Simmons Still Crazy After All These Years

Emily Farris — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 19:21:00 GMT

It's been 20 years since the release of Richard Simmons' Sweatin' to the Oldies, and now it's being re-released as an anniversary DVD. To commemorate this momentous occasion, a nearly 60-year-old Simmons was on NBC's Today acting like his usual freaky self, but not until about 3:30 (really good at 4:30). Before that, you can learn how to combat America's childhood obesity problem by emailing Senator Ted Kennedy through Simmons' website. Go Team Richard! (Note: Clicking on the video will take you to msnbc.com, sorry!)

Trick or Treat, Smell Our Feet, Give Us Richard Simmons in a Pumpkin Outfit

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 15:44:00 GMT

Sometimes we get frustrated with the Internet. All this faceless commenting and complaining, everyone's talking but no one has anything to say, right? Not today. Today we are thanking the Goddess for the Internet and its wide world of user participation. Because today we are going to help Richard Simmons pick a Halloween costume. We have some great ideas. Here are a few we'd like to see:

Gargamel
Sexy nurse
Spartacus
Doc from Back to the Future
An Ewok

We know you can do us one better. Oh dear how we hope anyone else out there cares about Richard Simmons even a fraction as much as we do, because he's angling to become the new Anne Heche.