Scanner : prince

PETA's Insane Sexiest Vegetarian Alive Voting

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 15 May 2009 15:37:00 GMT

The People For the Ethical Treatment of Tasty Animals, already riding a small wave of publicity from its Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door (read: "nobody activists") competition, has decided to steal a page from People Magazine and follow-up with The Sexiest Vegetarian Alive (read: "celebrities.")

We're pretty sure that they nominated, um, every single vegetarian in Hollywood...

See what we mean at this link. The lists, separated by gender, are far too epic to reproduce here. We've narrowed it down for you, with our favorites, with some tasty photo spreads to help ya out...

The Women:
Alyssa Milano

Bryce Dallas Howard
Christie Brinkley
Cloris Leachman
Emmy Rossum

Erykah Badu

Hayden Panettiere
Jenna Jameson (!)
Kristen Wiig
Thora Birch

The Men:
Alec Baldwin
Anthony Kiedis
Casey Affleck

Forest Whitaker
Jared Leto
Kevin Bacon
Leonard Nimoy
Morrissey
Prince

Thom Yorke
Tobey Maguire

And just so you know: as of this writing, Kevin Bacon's leading everyone. Hot damn, who'da thunk it? (Last year, the winner was Anthony Kiedis, which was indeed a surprise to us.)

Related:

Even Shoe Companies Want in On the Nude Ad Bandwagon

The PETA Empire Strikes Back

Mel Gibson's Mistress Begins the Obligatory Photo Leak Phase of Her Stardom

World's Sexiest Swimsuit Model Inspired By the Pope

Of Course Prince Got Teased a Lot as a Child

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:21:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Prince was on PBS' Tavis Smiley Show Monday and Tuesday nights, and a running theme throughout the interviews was how much he got teased as a child. Must have been the raspberry beret. Seriously, can you imagine? The dude is five-foot-nothing, can't weigh more than a buck twenty, and wears cutoff shirts and assless pants. That can't have been a pleasant junior high school experience. Of course, being a musical genius can solve a lot of your problems.

Read more...

Sloppy Seconds: In Which We Consider Michael Chabon's Sexuality, Again

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 22:21:00 GMT

Do you have what it takes to put together lists of the hottest women in the world (eyes, the ability to count to 100 with or without the help of a computer)? Then you might be in the running toward becoming FHM's next top editor-in-chief. They're looking. [Brand Republic]

Levi Johnston: proof that even if you're a teenage father you can still dream big. Johnston's dream? Becoming a model or actor, of course. [Gawker]

Howard Stern is now Twittering. Well, really it's the Howard Stern Show, which probably means there's a ghost Twitterer. And he is following no one. Jerk. [Twitter]

Half of the female contestants on Bravo's new show "Top Chef Masters" are "chefbians." Er, um, chefs who also happen to be lesbians. [AfterEllen]

What's Prince up to these days? Oh, just singing about Salma Hayek's curves. [Us]

How in the hell did we miss Gay Clay Aiken on America's Next Top Model? [People]

Having read the majority of Michael Chabon's published work, we always questioned his sexuality. We were not the only ones. And apparently we missed that thing he wrote about the time he slept with a man. [Queerty]

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The Rest of the Week Can't Possibly Top This Mr. T Infomercial

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 13:44:00 GMT

This video is so gigantic in its awesomeness, the Scanner homepage cannot contain it. But trust us, it's well worth clicking the Read more... for the video goodness.

We were taken aback by the sight of Mr. T without his chains and gold-plated iPhones, but one YouTuber points out that T gave these up when he decided to become a Serious Christian, which made him somehow crazier.

Speaking of "somehow crazier," how is it possible that the man is, indeed, more insane looking without the chains? Kind of like when Prince became "The Artist," T is only drawing attention to his egomania by suddenly being "too good" for only one of many ridiculous aspects of his personality. In other words, he ain't exactly calling himself Laurence Tureaud in his press releases...

Related:

The Mile High Club Takes On A Whole New Meaning...

Young Guy Waits In Tree For His Girlfriend...

This is Where Prostitution Might Move Once Kicked Off Craigslist

While You Were Sleeping: Paula Deen Moons Her Audience

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Memo to Citibank employees: if you receive a letter requesting $27 million for the Bank of Ethiopia, check to make sure it wasn't posted in Nigeria.

The GOP attacked Obama on the stimulus... but this guy couldn't name a single piece of "pork," not even a general category.

You have to wait till the end of this Walker: Texas Ranger clip for the payoff-- and it's laugh-out-loud, knee-slappin' good times...

Ah, young love: these days, it entails sex with your teacher dozens of times in several locations, including the parking lot of a K-Mart.

A man accidentally shot himself during a robbery attempt. He proceeded to lose the loot... and his pants.

Prince dedicated his secret Hollywood concert after the Oscars to Penelope Cruz.

Authorities busted 500 people and freed 48 child prostitutes in a major raid yesterday.

And, in perhaps one of the greatest YouTube moments so far, Paula Deen mooned her fans at the Miami Food and Wine Festival...

Related:

Don't Miss the Awesomeness on Late Night's Goodbye Week

Conan and Cannolis Brought Out the Dirty Talk in Paula Deen

While You Were Sleeping: Westboro Stoops To New Low, Falls On Its Face

Caption This: Madonna Finally Learned How to Play the Guitar

Emily Farris — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 23:09:00 GMT

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The Evangelical Baby Knows That Microphone is Not a Toy

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:07:00 GMT

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

While Prince is going door-to-door spreading the word, this little baby is riling up the evangelicals with his electrifying sermonizing. Seriously, this baby is nuts and God isn't the only one who knows what this he's saying. To us, it sounds something like "Start putting away the bail money now."

Quite the miracle child. We are amazed. What did we do to deserve such grace?

This Week In Gayness: Wanda Sykes Has Something To Say

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 14:55:00 GMT

Anti-Prop 8 rallies, in pictures. Meanwhile, grade-A pollster Nate Silver claims seniors are to blame for the initiative's success.

A mother with a five-year-old in Catholic school was forced out of the PTA after it was revealed that she had protested at one of those rallies.

Ellen Degeneres referred to straight man Chris Matthews as "grope-y."

Prince is pissing everyone off these days: his neighbors are upset that he wants them to join his religious cult, while the gays are miffed that he said homosexuality is not okay in God's eyes. Pretty much every blog and media outlet has made the same joke about "how could Prince hate the gays, with the way he dresses-- and that mustache!"

Our favorite story of the week, by far: female koalas in Australia no longer want to mate with males and are having lesbian orgies, with up to five partners, to the horror and/or amusement of everyone.

"In the future, if a gay person in California wants to get hitched, he'll have to do it the way God intended, to Liza Minnelli" - Stephen Colbert

Wanda Sykes is so pissed about Prop 8 passing, she came out of the closet. Speaking of pissed off people-- workers at Focus on the Family must be furious to find themselves laid off after the ministry spent so much money to carry Prop 8 over the finish line.

This Week In Gayness: Lesbians Under Attack

This Baptist Minister Thinks You Should Be Having More Sex

Sloppy Seconds: Blake-Fielder Civil Escapes (More) Prison (Time)

Introducing the Australian Sex Party...

Cure For AIDS Discovered? Or Is It HIV?

Get Your Muslim On

Prince Has Something He'd Like to Talk to You About

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:07:00 GMT

We are bursting with the news that Prince has been knocking on his neighbors' doors to spread a message near and dear to his little purple heart.

What could possibly be so important that Prince would put down his guitar and talk to strangers?

The word of the Jehovah's Witnesses, what else? According to Page Six, Jehovah's Witness Prince has to go door to door just like everyone else.

"Sometimes people act surprised, but mostly they're totally cool about it," says Prince. The "When Doves Cry" singer adds that he sees his conversion as more of "a realization. It's like Morpheus and Neo in 'The Matrix.' "

Not gonna lie, if Prince came to our door, we would totally convert, or "realize," or whatever. But only on the condition that he let us try on his clothes and have a photo shoot. For God, of course.

Top 10 Songs To Strip To, As Voted By Guys

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 15:36:00 GMT

It's missing "You Can Leave Your Hat On" by Randy Newman and "Pasties and a G-String" by Tom Waits, but otherwise, we can generally agree with this I-Village list...

"Pony" by Ginuwine

"Eyes Without a Face" by Billy Idol

"I'm a Slave 4 U" by Britney Spears

"Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls

"Closer" by Nine Inch Nails

"She's Always In My Hair" by D'Angelo

"Sex (I'm a)" by Lovage

"Hot In Herre" by Nelly

"Justify My Love" by Madonna

"Cream" by Prince

What do you think: Would you pick a different Madonna song or a different Prince song? What's the song you strip to... or you wish someone would strip to for you?

Via I-Village.

The Top 10 Songs About Masturbation

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:25:00 GMT

The Frisky has had a post up for a few days on the Nine Sexiest Songs About Masturbation. Ever since we came across it, we've been wondering how definitive it really is.

Meanwhile, we've come up with our own list...

10. The Vapors - Turning Japanese. The Vapors have milked this one for years-- both for their only chart hit and to keep the amusing rumor going, but this may not be about masturbation after all. Wikipedia says it's actually a love song and that the masturbation thing came after interview requests started coming in. (Hint: "Turning Japanese" allegedly refers to a guy squinting hard when he jerks off.)

9. Britney Spears - The Touch of My Hand. She didn't write it, so we can't hate her for it. “Cause I just discovered/Imagination’s taken over/Another day without a lover/The more I come to understand the touch of my hand... I’m all in my skin and I’m not gonna wait/I’m into myself in a most precious way.”

8. Billy Idol - Dancing With Myself. How we missed this over the million times we've heard it, we're not sure. (Maybe it's because we're usually having sex when it's on?) “When there’s no-one else in sight/In the crowded lonely night/Well I wait so long/For my love vibration/And I’m dancing with myself.”

7. Ween - Mister Richard Smoker. We were also thinking "Picture of Lily" (the Who) and some other ones for this slot (yeah, Billy Joel's "Captain Jack" would work, but may be a bit too creepy): "Mister Richard Smoker/you're a chicken choker/tonight you're gonna let it all hang out/pantyhose and aqua net"

6. Tori Amos - Icicle. We never thought men could masturbate to Tori Amos, but there's something really hot about hearing her sing “And when my hand touches myself/I can finally rest my head/And when they take from his body/I think I’ll take from mine instead/Getting off, getting off while they’re all downstairs.”

5. Chuck Berry - My Ding A Ling. Won't you play with it?

4. Elvis Costello - Pump It Up. Double meanings are great because they enable songs to bypass stuff censors who miss the joke. Case in point: this 1978 single, which is ostensibly about turning up the volume. Yeah, on your own getting off! "Pump it up when you don't really need it/Pump it up until you can feel it/Down in the pleasure center/hell bent or heaven-sent..."

3. Violent Femmes - Blister In The Sun. Gordon Gano stained his sheets, which is so much less of an uncomfortable image than it has any right to be.

3. The Divinyls - I Touch Myself. Duh: "I don’t want anybody else/And when I think about you I touch myself."

2. Prince - Darling Nikki. We'll let The Frisky intro this one, since they did such a nice job:

This song and it’s racy lyrics is what prompted Tipper Gore to form the Parents Music Resource Center, which eventually led to the use of “Parental Advisory” stickers and imprints on album covers. The song was also dubbed ‘pornographic’ and ‘satanic’. Awesome! “I knew a girl named Nikki/I guess u could say she was a sex fiend/I met her in a hotel lobby/Masturbating with a magazine/She said how’d you like to waste some time/And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind.”

1. Cyndi Lauper - She Bop. What, you didn't know what a "she bop" is? From the "Self Service" sign in the video to lines like:

I see them every night in tight blue jeans -
In the pages of a blue boy magazine
Hey I've been thinking of a new sensation
I'm picking up - good vibration -
Oop - she bop

Do I wanna go out with a lion's roar
Huh, yea, I wanna go south n get me some more
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop - or I'll go blind
Oop - she bop - she bop...

Via The Frisky. Thanks, Wendy!

Sloppy Seconds: What's Amy Winehouse So Upset About?

Emily Farris — Wed, 07 May 2008 21:35:00 GMT

Prince must have some down time while he's recovering from his hip replacement surgery; he's begun writing his first book. [Yahoo!]

Barbara Walters outed Star Jones' stomach on Oprah. [Us Weekly]

We're not big fans of bread pudding, but Japanese breast pudding is something we can totally get behind. [YBNBY]

The creator of Rocky Road ice cream and co-founder of Baskin-Robbins is dead at 90. Does this mean we can eat ice cream every day and live to 90? [MSNBC]

Yawn: Amy Winehouse has been arrested....again. This time it's drug charges. [Yahoo!]

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Apollonia 6 Would Like to Wish You a Happy Friday

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 15:40:00 GMT

Because last night we had a dream we were riding on the back of Prince's motorcycle, and because it's Friday and who knows what will happen over the weekend. We give you, the song we woke up singing this morning.

If you want to skip the intro, just jump to 1:40.

Scanner Highs and Lows: A Whole Lotta Love

Emily Farris — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 21:48:00 GMT

We were full of love at Scanner this week. And, really, how could we not be?

Highs:

We fell in love with Oscar winner and hottie Marion Cotillard.

We declared our love for Javier Bordem, who did not win the Oscar.

Do Scanner readers love brains more than boobs?

Whether we have reason to be freaked out by birth control pills that make our periods go away for long periods of time, we're holding onto our right to be freaked out by them. Even if a few readers disagree. Also, we're highly amused by SNL skits starring Tina Fey, especially if they concern said birth control pills.

We started a campaign to recruit Tina Fey for Oscars' host in 2009... because we love her.

Lows:

We admitted, yet again, to loving "Sex and the City," and probably lost some friends for it, yet again.

A seven-year-old took crack to school. And no, he wasn't related to us.

Ginnifer Flowers came back into our lives.

Zubas. Back. Nuff said.

We learned that trying to create the perfect woman ends in disaster. Freaky, scary disaster.

We may be shuffling Prince off to the retirement home soon.

[Image via]

Prince Just Wants Your Extra Time and Your Hip

Emily Farris — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 17:52:00 GMT

There are some things in this world that never seem to age: canned peaches, the soles of Doc Martens, Cher and Prince. Well, the first three, anyway.

Prince, formerly known as Prince, then The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, and currently known as Prince again, is 49-years-old. That's damn near 50 for those of you who don't know what 49 plus one is. And Prince's damn-near 50 hips have finally given in to a lifetime of gyrating, dry humping and bumping... and all the behind-the-scenes wet humping we missed. He's having a hip joint replaced with titanium!

Will we ever think of Prince the same way again?

[MollyGood: Amazing, Glorious Prince Actually Not Infallible]

Today in Page Six: Naomi Campbell, Prince, Joe Francis, Unnamed Penthouse Pet

Bryan Christian — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:00:00 GMT

We found ourselves with a bunch of items coming from Page Six, so we thought we'd group them into one big easy-to-digest, Rupert-Murdoch-lovin' compendium. Hail the Dark Lord!

-- PageSix.com reports that Fox Noise is reporting that Naomi Campbell has reported to a Sao Paolo hospital reporting an as-yet-unreported infection. We report report report, but report she report report!

-- We would totally have watched the Oscars if Prince had invited us to his viewing party. Actually, no, strike that -- it was a post-Oscars party. Also, we'd probably have just watched all the strippers instead.

-- Joe Francis is planning a monthly, PG-13 print version of his Nobel Prize-winning Girls Gone Wild series. Since it sounds like a sure fire way to bore and confound his hardcore fans, we have to assume he's doing it for the same reason that they're putting Kool-Aid into cocaine these days: to get the kiddies hooked.

-- Penthouse Pets are such big sluts that they'll make out with someone mere moments after having sex with another man. To be fair, though, Bachelor Number Two was a journalist, so he had no chance of closing the deal anyway.

Take That, Usher!

Bryan Christian — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 20:35:00 GMT

Why do we love the feature entitled "6 Singers Who Are Mistaken About Their Raw Sexuality" on Cracked.com? Is it because we have a thing for tearing guys a new one if they think they're more the shit than they actually are? Maybe the part where the Cracked photo department put Prince's head on a fast-food worker's body (see right)? Or is it because we've always thought of Maroon 5's Adam Levine as less of a singer and more of a cruel joke perpetrated on 15-year-old girls?

Not even close. We love this piece because this one time, in ABC Carpet & Home, #2 on the list totally hit on our then-fiancee. And when she giggled about it afterwards, it wasn't in one of those schoolgirl-with-a-crush ways. It was more like "oh, what a sweet little boy." Read the article to see who the overblown singer was!

Oh, wait, we said it was Usher in the headline. Huh. Dammit. Well, tell you what, before you read the article, click through for a super dope remix of the Usher and R. Kelly hit "Same Girl" where, just as in real life, Usher doesn't make the cut.

[Video via your friendly pals at corporate-casual]

The Greatness of 'Purple Rain'? No Argument Here.

sarahhepola — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 13:43:00 GMT

Vanity Fair has named Purple Rain the greatest soundtrack of all time. We’ll go one better: We’ll say Purple Rain is the greatest LUNCHMEAT of all time. Also the greatest breakfast cereal. VF's list won’t be released till next month’s issue, which means we probably won’t read it till we have to take a flight somewhere near Christmas, but other albums in the top 10 include Trainspotting, The Graduate, and The Big Chill. The Big Chill?!? COME AWN. Did my mother make this list?

There is one soundtrack that is deeply, painfully missing from their top 10. That soundtrack is Xanadu. The half Olivia Newton-John/half ELO album is one of the greatest collaborations of the 80s, a hideously underrated musical masterpiece, and perhaps the greatest soundtrack for a bad film ever. (Sadly, it is only the third best lunchmeat, edged out by High School Musical 2.)