Scanner : poo

Sloppy Seconds: Megan Fox Doesn't Need You To Take Her Seriously

Emily Farris — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:01:00 GMT

A man gave birth to his twin, Alien style. Sort of. [The Inquisitr]

Looks like Oprah is going to have a lot less shit on her show. Literally. Dr. Oz—her in-house medical professional who was all too excited to talk poo with Ms. Winfrey—is getting his own show. [Yahoo!]

When we were growing up we seriously thought that everyone in our hometown of Independence, MO was skinny and had bad teeth because they were poor. We know better now. But why is meth so prevalent in some regions and not in others? [FlavorWire]

Wanting to not appear so poor ourselves, at 17 we lied to get a credit card. That was the beginning of our own personal financial hell. This pre-paid Discover card might have done us some good... and probably still could. [Lifestyler]

Speaking of us being poor, don't forget you can buy our Missed Tee for a mere $13. We get 10% of every sale, plus what's not to love about dogs humping legs? [MissedTees]

In the mean time, we'll follow Suze Orman on Twitter. [Twitter]

"I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against," Megan Fox tells June's Esquire, "but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've ever learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard — but I do. And part of it is my own fault." [Us]

Related:

Megan Fox Strips to Underwear for Esquire, Fancy New Camera

Sloppy Seconds: We Can All Stop Worrying About Swine Flu Now

I Owe You a Good Leg Humping

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Sloppy Seconds: Parker Posey's New Man

Emily Farris — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 21:28:00 GMT

Did you catch Tracy Morgan shirtless in real life on 30 Rock last night? [Defamer]

Britan's Got Talent singing phenomenon Susan Boyle got a little makeover. [Yahoo!]

One thing we would not like to find on our doorstep? A flaming bag of poo. Another thing we would not like to find on our doorstep? A live shark. [CBS13]

A sequel to Clueless!? Count us in! Well, as long as his you know what isn't crooked. [BuzzSugar]

We hate to admit we're also pretty excited about the prospect of Chace Crawford taking on Kevin Bacon's role in the remake of Footloose. [Us]

If Parker Posey was dating Keanu Reaves, that seems to be over, because now she's being spotted around town with graphic designer and sculptor Scott Lenhardt. We endorse this because 1) Keanu Reeves doesn't seem so smart and 2) artist boys are totally hot. [DailyIntel]

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You Probably Shouldn't Read This Around Meal Time (File Under: TMI)

Emily Farris — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:04:00 GMT

When my sister and I were little, we made up this word "Boobyteen." At some point we decided it was something we would "cook" and made up a recipe for it. The recipe was (brace yourselves) poop, pee, milk, orange juice and sugar (I am simultaneously cracking up and throwing up in my mouth a little right now). One night, when a nearly immobile old lady was babysitting us, Jo and I decided we would make Boobyteen. There was no actual cooking involved, but we put it in a stockpot and left it on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator (a few years later I pierced my own ears when that same sitter was watching us). We never, ever intended to consume it, in any way, and obviously our mom was really, really mad. But apparently, it turns out we might have been onto something...

A hardline Hindu organization, known for its opposition to "corrupting" Western food imports, is planning to launch a new soft drink made from cow's urine, often seen as sacred in parts of India.

The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), or National Volunteer Corps, said the bovine beverage is undergoing laboratory tests for the next 2 to 3 months but did not give a specific date for its commercial release.

The flavor is not yet known, but the RSS said the liquid produced by Hinduism's revered holy cows is being mixed with products such as aloe vera and gooseberry to fight diseases such as diabetes and cancer....

"Cow urine offers a cure for around 70 to 80 incurable diseases like diabetes. All are curable by cow urine," Om Prakash, the head of the RSS Cow Protection Department, told Reuters by phone.

Boobyteen!

[Reuters: They call it Mellow Yellow]

"How Do I Make Myself Squirt?"

Going Too Far? Japan's Poop Museum

"2 Girls, 1 Cup" Term Paper Gets an F

Emily Farris — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:39:00 GMT

And not for fucking or fudge. Some very clever student wrote a "film review" on the, well, film.

"The excited but hesitant tonguing suggests a sort of apprehension on the part of the lead characters, but by :25 any hope for redemption has been lost."

That poetic prose deserves an 'A,' if you ask us.

[YesButNoButYes: 2 Girls 1 Cup: The Thesis]