Scanner : photos

PETA's Insane Sexiest Vegetarian Alive Voting

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 15 May 2009 15:37:00 GMT

The People For the Ethical Treatment of Tasty Animals, already riding a small wave of publicity from its Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door (read: "nobody activists") competition, has decided to steal a page from People Magazine and follow-up with The Sexiest Vegetarian Alive (read: "celebrities.")

We're pretty sure that they nominated, um, every single vegetarian in Hollywood...

See what we mean at this link. The lists, separated by gender, are far too epic to reproduce here. We've narrowed it down for you, with our favorites, with some tasty photo spreads to help ya out...

The Women:
Alyssa Milano

Bryce Dallas Howard
Christie Brinkley
Cloris Leachman
Emmy Rossum

Erykah Badu

Hayden Panettiere
Jenna Jameson (!)
Kristen Wiig
Thora Birch

The Men:
Alec Baldwin
Anthony Kiedis
Casey Affleck

Forest Whitaker
Jared Leto
Kevin Bacon
Leonard Nimoy
Morrissey
Prince

Thom Yorke
Tobey Maguire

And just so you know: as of this writing, Kevin Bacon's leading everyone. Hot damn, who'da thunk it? (Last year, the winner was Anthony Kiedis, which was indeed a surprise to us.)

Related:

Even Shoe Companies Want in On the Nude Ad Bandwagon

The PETA Empire Strikes Back

Mel Gibson's Mistress Begins the Obligatory Photo Leak Phase of Her Stardom

World's Sexiest Swimsuit Model Inspired By the Pope

Sloppy Seconds: Free Viagra!

Emily Farris — Thu, 14 May 2009 23:01:00 GMT

Spring Awakening—the musical that made more than $57 million in the United States and made anyone who went to see it with his or her parents very uncomfortable—is closing in London after only five months. [FlavorWire]

Um, what kind of high school lets the yearbook team publish an upskirt photo? [BuzzFeed]

A new development in the Jon and Kate Plus Eight saga: Jon may not have been the only one allegedly cheating. Apparently, he had long feared that his wife was having an affair with her married bodyguard. [Us]

Ashley Olsen isn't the only woman modeling men's clothing. [AfterEllen]

Could Johnny Depp play Frank Sinatra in the movies? [Vulture]

Elizabeth Edwards will talk about her husband John's mistress, as long as no one mentions her name. [Yahoo!]

Just because you don't have a job, or health insurance, doesn't mean you shouldn't have your Viagra. Pfizer has s unveiled a new program will let people who have lost their jobs and health insurance keep taking some widely prescribed Pfizer medications—including Lipitor and Viagra—for free for up to a year. [Yahoo!]

Related:

Ashley Olsen Takes Off Men's Clothes to Sell Them

It's Not Looking Good for Jon and Kate

[Image]

Safe For Work: Hipster Photo Erotica

Drew Grant — Fri, 08 May 2009 22:31:00 GMT

There are tons of ways to make money if you're a pretty woman in the city, but for non-Williamsburg Brooklyn set, it's harder to get noticed if you're not the conventional model type. Luckily there are photographers like Mauricio de Fex, a Manhattan-based photographer who has traversed the dangerous nooks and crannies of the J train to find some of these hidden beauties. Whether you live on Christopher Street, St. Marks, or Goodbye Blue Monday on the Bushwick/Bed-Stuy border, Mauricio is always on the lookout for the non-traditional.And lucky for us with day jobs, the photos are extremely sexy without being NSFW, a blessing in the age of online erotica.

(Via)

Vintage Erotica

Today in Porn Art: Rock Formation Artist Weirdo

Russians Like Big Butts, You Can't Deny

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 16:53:00 GMT

Russians always gotta be different. Sometimes they even take things that Americans love, like binge drinking, and escalate them to absurd levels of worship.

Case in point-- the new sexting craze that is taking Russkies by storm doesn't involve pornographic images (necessarily.) They have, however, taken their love of gigantic backsides to a whole new level of devotion...

After one girl, under the handle VILena, posted the below photo on one of the country's premiere social networking sites, a major cultural trend was born overnight:

This is the photo, which came our way in this censored form, that sparked the following mania:

Wait, what the fuck?

We promise to continue to ~~get to the bottom~~ stay on top of this, now known as Vilena, and other emerging sexual trends.

The call it “to make Vilena-style photo” - Vilena that’s the name of the first girl. By the way, this name has a Soviet origin. After the Communists took over in 1917 and their leader Lenin was a national hero many Russian young parents called their boys and girls after him using his initials and second name. Lenin’s full name was “Vladimir Iliich Lenin” - so new boyish name appeared “VILen” and girlish one two: “VILena”. There were also such names like “Vladlen” or “Vladlena” after “Vladimir Lenin”. [English Russia]

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Sloppy Seconds: Scarlett Johansson on Plastic Surgery

Photo of the Week: Is Tom Colicchio Sexier Without Hair?

Emily Farris — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 19:01:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: We're not sure we ever conceptualized a time when Tom Colicchio wasn't gloriously bald. Or, for that matter, a time when TC actually needed a hairnet to prepare gourmet food. Weirdly, when we look at this photo, we keep picturing Colicchio as the host of a mid-eighties home improvement show á la This Old House. Maybe it's the denim shirt.

So, the question of the hour: which Colicchio is sexier?

Read more...

James Franco Is Sleeping His Way Through Grad School

Ina Maier — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:27:00 GMT

And we've got the photos to prove it...

[via]

GQ: "James Franco Is A Douche"

"Acting With James Franco" Comes Pretty Close to Making Us Cry

Sean Penn Propositions James Franco for Sex

Sloppy Seconds: RNC Chair Tells Critics to "Stuff It"

Emily Farris — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:44:00 GMT

We stopped liking theater pretty much after we had that terrible drama mask tattoo covered with something else, but we're intrigued by "In the Next Room (Or the Vibrator Play." [NYT]

Robert De Niro and Van Morrison will be among Jimmy Fallon's first guests when he takes over "Late Night." [Yahoo!]

Lisa Rinna made a point of not hitting the gym before her Playboy shoot. [People]

Just as Richard Simmons offers Jessica Simpson weight loss advice. [Us]

There are very few things that make us miss living in New York, but this Snuggie pub crawl is one of them. [Snuggie Pub Crawl]

Michael Steele, chair of the RNC says he's taking the Republican Party beyond the cutting edge, so far beyond in fact, that it will be "off the hook." If you don't like it? "Stuff it." [CNN]

Leo's Girlfriend is a Sports Illustrated Cover Girl

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:51:00 GMT

Bar Refaeli, Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriend, is the 2009 Sports Illustrated cover girl. And we have the photo evidence to prove it...

Bar, who is a 23-year-old Israeli model, has been dating the movie star for three years and the publicity they've received has launched her career. The announcement of her selected for the SI cover made the Time.com homepage this morning and MTV recently announced she will be on the revamped House of Style reality show.

Oh yeah, and there's that persistent rumor of her engagement and impending marriage to Leonardo DiCaprio, who recently said planning for this year's Oscars is like planning for his "wedding."

Here's a peek at the cover, just announced. Click the photo for a larger view...

More about Bar via her Wikipedia page.

Related:
E! Names Another Obscure Woman as the Hottest in the World
That Wasn't Bikini Girl's First Time in a Bikini...
Bacon Bra, Meet Your Soulmate

"A Distinctly New York Kind Of Love" in Pictures

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 15:56:00 GMT

What do you get when you put two couples and two cameras in one tiny New York City bedroom? "Pillow Talk," the latest project from husband and wife photography team Tribble and Mancendio.

James Frank Tribble and Tracey Manciendo told the New York Times that each wielding a camera, they "'dance' around their subjects, putting them at ease with constant banter and movement. As Ms. Mancenido explains, 'In every shoot, without fail, the sitter is drawn to one of us, and we use that as best we can to capture what we see.'"

[New York Times: In the Bedrooms]

Related:

Weddings From Hell: A Photo Essay

Our Crazy RNC Photo Essay

Photo Essay: New Orleans Battles On

Madonna's Very Hairy Bush Expected to Go for $15K at Christie's

Emily Farris — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 19:34:00 GMT

George isn't the only Bush on the way out this year. A 30-year-old image of Madonna and her very hairy bush taken by Lee Friedlander is expected to go for $10,000–$15,000 at Christie's auction house on February 12.

Being natural blondes born in the Eighties and all, we've never seen anything like this. We find it pretty spectacular. See the photo in all its black-and-white (and, um, red) glory after the jump.

Would you pay $15,000 for this image that supposedly earned Madonna a whopping $25 in 1979? Perhaps seeing it without our mandatory editing at Christie's (yeah, they can show bush and we can't) will help you decide.

Related:

Why Will This Baby Picture Go for $8-12K at Christie's?

Gisele Bundchen Worth More Than Carla Bruni Naked. Why?

If We Had Millions of Dollars, We Would Have the Best Nudie Collection in the World

While You Were Sleeping: Is Rob Lowe A Dirty, Old Flasher?

Creepy Bizarro-Obama Photo Won't Stop Creeping Us Out

Ina Maier — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 21:43:00 GMT

Look! It's a filipino Obama! There's so many things so right about him and then, yet, so wrong! Creepy!

That's all, really.

But here's a bigger version if you wanted to take a closer look.

[via]

Who Would You Rather: Topless JFK vs. Topless Obama

Clinton's Got the Mojo, But Obama's Got the Hot Dog

Caption This: Obama Runs on Dunkin' Donuts

Hot or Not? Victoria Beckham in Armani Underwear

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 16:56:00 GMT

Victoria Beckham has always struck us as the kind of woman Brits go crazy for, but the rest of the world cannot get into. If she weren't married to the top footballer, would the world remember her or would she just fall into obscurity, along with the rest of the Spice Girls?

Having recently signed a 12-million-pound modeling deal, Victoria will definitely be in the public eye on her own a lot more, and, if this keeps up, might be able to win us over...

'There are loads of things I don't like about my body', she said. 'I've got so much saggy skin on my stomach.'
The pictures of Victoria, which will grace billboards and magazines are from her first shoot in the three-year multi-million pound deal.

What do you think of her new Armani campaign? Are we done with her, can we move on?

Photos via Telegraph.

Related:

What Happens When You've Got Nothing Left To Live For...

Carmen Electra's Latest Playboy Shoot Explains Why The Magazine Is Failing

Creepy Dudes Now Using Sex Tapes To Blackmail You Into... Giving Them Nude Photos?

Our Favorite Leftover Photos of 2008

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Winslet's Other Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

William Zantzinger, subject of the Bob Dylan protest song "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll," died in Maryland of undisclosed causes.

Ian McKellen isn't too upset PBS doesn't have the balls to include the nude scene in their broadcast of his play.

Marilyn Manson is being sued by his ex-bandmate for twenty million dollars. Why do we care? Wait till you hear what Manson apparently spent the band's royalties on...

Bier, otherwise known as Madonna Wayne Gacy, sued Manson for more than $20 million last year, claiming Manson siphoned off millions of dollars in band revenue.

The funds allegedly paid for drugs, assorted Nazi paraphernalia, the cost of Von Teese's engagement ring and the ex-couple's 2005 wedding, and the interior decorating of Manson's mansion, which features a stuffed grizzly bear, a pair of baboons and the skeleton of a 4-year-old Chinese girl. [E!]

Patricia Arquette shilled for PETA.

Sources say pop singer Fergie is getting married this weekend. At last, a wedding the gossip rags aren't going apeshit over.

Kate Winslet said her teenage co-star was "terrified" during their sex scenes together in The Reader. Who can blame him? We'd have made a mess of the whole thing-- repeatedly.

Even though photos prove he was seeing Angelina Jolie on the side while still married, Brad Pitt claims he did not cheat.

Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich will not resign before he's impeached, even though a committee voted 21-0 to remove him. It's now in the hands of the State House of Representatives.

And Maine is getting the topless coffee shop! Hooray?

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: So There IS Hope in Dope

Scanner Highs and Lows: An Orgy of Holiday Weirdness

Sloppy Seconds: Pete Wentz Weighs in on the Taste of Breast Milk

Top 5 Sex Scenes Set in the Great Outdoors

In Photo War, Patriots Cheerleaders Outdo Cleveland Cavs Cheerleaders

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 15:12:00 GMT

The Cleveland Cavaliers cheerleaders had a photo scandal earlier this month that resulted in many self-righteous commentators spewing nonsense about how disgraceful their innocent, playful, and totally raunchy pics were. (Bill O'Reilly, as usual, had to outdo everyone by giving the girls a public spanking: "[T]his isn't ... the inner city; you would think that these kids would have some kind of a values system.")

In the ensuing chaos, everyone forgot about another cheerleader scandal-- that one in football, courtesy of the New England Patriots. (Still with us?) Next, the other Patriots cheerleaders, we're guessing wildly here, got jealous of all their rivals' media attention and FHM offers and decided to leak sexy photos from the past...

Here are the best, courtesy of some guy named Don Chavez. We're guessing he makes tequila or something.

Oh. How risque... they possess lingerie and footwear. Whoopee.

Nude High School Cheerleader Scandal is Disturbing for a Few Reasons

Is "Tech Sex" Somewhere Between Cyber Sex and Technical Sex?

Hooters Fires Physically-Abused Waitress For Not Looking Hot Enough

Sloppy Seconds: Keep Yer Areolae Off My Facebook, Mmmkay?

Emily Farris — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 23:51:00 GMT

While trying to find out if the double homicide I think I heard happen early yesterday morning really happened, I found out that Al Capone's home is for sale in Chicago for a mere $450,000. Still no word on the homicide. [Crime Scene KC]

Suri Cruise may very well be the cutest baby I've seen, like, ever, but I cannot get behind Tom and Katie going for nine more. I imagine Katie's vagina agrees. [Us]

I'd like to think I'm not the only woman out there who would bed Woody Harrelson. In fact, I know I'm not. He just got married. [People]

Madonna donated $2.6 million dollars to the Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles. She should have also paid a photographer not to take this close-up of her (not that I wouldn't mind looking like that at her age). [FadedYouth]

The folks at Facebook are apparently not fans of The Teet. Last year, the site's administrators took down photos of breastfeeding mothers because they featured "exposed breasts" which apparently violated the Terms of Use. A spokesman for Facebook says that only pictures where a nipple is fully exposed are problems, but some hip Facebook moms staged not only a virtual protest, they got out from behind their computers and suckling babes and demonstrated outside of Facebook's offices in California. [Jezebel]

Related:

TTYL, or, Kansas City Here I Come

What Your Areolas Say About You

"Could you make sure that her areolas aren't showing?"

Racist or Not? Totally Racist Dress Code

[Image]

Caption This: The International Cat Show, Otherwise Known as The Crazy Cat Lady Convention

Emily Farris — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 14:43:00 GMT

(We'll see you there next year!)

Stuff We Absolutely Need to Validate Ourselves: Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

Did 8-Year-Old Emily Know Scanner Emily Would Become the Crazy Cat Lady?

[Image]

Megan Fox Is So Hot Right Now, GQ Can Just Recycle Her Photos Every Month

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:41:00 GMT

Megan Fox, who will not be playing Wonder Woman, despite previous reports, and was the only woman shortlisted for GQ's Man of the Year is still the #1 woman on the internet. (Well, except for Keeley Hazel. And Sarah Palin. And... and... never mind.)

But no one drives up traffic like Megan Fox-- or, more importantly-- Megan Fox in a bikini...

According to One India:

American actress Megan Fox has been listed as the hottest babe on the planet in Chickipedia's latest 100 hottest women list yet again. Chickipedia, which is the world's largest web-based, wiki-based database of hot women on the planet, released the Top 100 most-searched for women in the month of October, the Daily Telegraph reported.

This is the second year that Fox has topped the list, with the second place going to Hugh Hefner''s No 1 ex-girlfriend Holly Madison. The most-searched for female survey saw Keeley Hazell in third position, while new Aussie girls ‘The Veronicas’ were at number six. The new list also saw Madonna and Victoria Beckham being dropped and replaced by US Republican IT girl Sarah Palin and her alter ego, Tina Fey.

Good riddance to Madonna and Victoria-- but Holly Madison? Bland as New York is fucking freezing today.

In celebration of Fox's latest victory, GQ has unleashed more of the photos that made her a huge star and, for no reason whatsoever, we're passing them along to you:

Tips From A Stripper: On Saving The Environment

Who is GQ's Man of the Year? (File Under: Duh)

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

Yes, We'd Like A Lifetime Supply of Pronto Condoms, Please

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Happiness by the Numbers: Sex and TV

UPDATE: Alain Baxter's Nude Calendar Artier Than We Expected

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:56:00 GMT

Back in August, we posted a story about Alain Baxter, the Olympic skier who was stripped of his medal after what we considered an innocent mistake.

In that post, we noted Baxter was working on a topless wall calendar and we promised to share it with you if it turned out to be halfway decent. Well, from what we've seen so far, it will far exceed our erotic expectations...

Here's the cover of the calendar... and a link to its excellent photographs. (By the way, in case you've forgotten, all proceeds go toward Baxter's training for the 2010 Olympics, for which he will attempt an unprecedented comeback.)

UPDATE: Alain writes in:

sorry for the delay in getting back to you, i am in austria training at the moment and i dont have all the shots with me, will this one do for just now? i dont know if it's big enough or not...

Well, Alain, the ladies here seem to agree it is indeed "big enough." See the added photo, below, for yourself:

Here's a preview of the rest.

Related:

Olympian Alain Baxter Trying To Get Himself More, Um, Exposure

MyZombiePinup: Get Ready For Halloween '09

Naked Women of Curling... 2008!

Nude Photo Book Just Made Famous French Actress A Lot More Famous

Presidential Candidate Dogs Annoy The Sh*t Out Of Us

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:26:00 GMT

After 4,000 votes, the above-pictured dog was named the winner of the "My Dog Looks Like Obama" photo competition.

While we understand that dog lovers can't control their urges to share their boring candids with the rest of us, there's something that sticks in our collective craws about these pics...

And wait till you see the McCain lookalike winner...

The Obama winner, first off, is Amore Francine of Mt. Clemens, MI, a boxer weighing a mere 52 pounds. (Insert Cassius Clay joke here.) Amore, by the way, couldn't give a cat's ass about his latest triumph, insisting that he has no opinion on the US Presidential race: "Whichever one keeps me in the most red balls and spikes my water bowl with J&B, that's the one I lick-- er, like-- the best."

And here's your "My Dog Looks Like McCain" winner... and some equally brutal runners up:

Now that's more like it. (The others, plus more about this silly contest, can be found here.)

Upside Down Dogs Freak Us the F*ck Out

McCain May Have Committed Vehicular Manslaughter in 1964

More Girls Say "Yes"

Vote Girl: Disenfranchised

Playboy's Presidential Sex Quiz A Welcome Distraction From Boring Obama Stories

More Girls Say "Yes"

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 15:38:00 GMT

The hullaballoo surrounding the "Girls Say Yes to Boys Who Say Obama" poster inspired some lovely ladies in Minneapolis to make one of their own, and they sent it to us.

Pictured above are writer Andrea Swensson, actress and photographer Alexa Jones and photographer Stacy Schwartz.

We'd love to start a collection of these. And perhaps we'll sit down with Scanner Nicole and Scanner Brian to make one of our own.

[Flickr]

Related:

Am I a Bad Feminist?

Yes Girls for Obama

Apparently We Were Supposed to Be Upset By This Poster

Cute Overload Keeps the Pets in Costumes Coming

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 18:01:00 GMT

Because we're not going to stop until someone pries the computer from our cold, dead hands, here are even more amazing (and, yes, horrifying) pets in Halloween costumes. This time, Cute Overload has done us the courtesy of organizing these costumes according to type like the "Famous Human Costume" (Elvis, anyone?) and the "Non Sequiter Costume" (A mixtape? Really?).

But the most exceptional costume in the bunch is not a Daschound dressed as a hot dog (snore) or a terrier in an Ewok cape (so 2006), it is this, ridiculously adorable photo:

Hot or Not? Heidi Klum's Got Milk Ad

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 20:17:00 GMT

We've already established the fact that Heidi Klum is gorgeous and probably a cool gal in the Real World. And it should be a no-brainer that seeing Klum in her supposed Halloween costume (hint: it involves pigtails, a skirt, and working on a farm... it's automatically hot.)

However, this is the "got milk?" campaign we're talking about, which involves putting mustaches on females, as if that's hot. (Sorry, ladies, it's most certainly not-- even if it's only a dairy product and not actual hair.) After the jump, check out the full photo, outfit, and mustache in all its glory and let us know...

Bonus: adorable kittens!

Related:

Hot or Not: Heidi Klum Topless in Esquire

Top 10 Celebrities Who Are Probably Cool In Real Life

Co-Ed Magazine Picks The 52 Best All-Natural Breasts...

Sloppy Seconds: What Did Tina Fey Lose at the Emmys?

Photo Evidence: Tila Tequila Was A Vegas Call Girl

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:19:00 GMT

Hey, we don't judge anyone for trying to earn a living. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, we don't care if you smoke crack and jerk off while working as a telemarketer. (Okay, the telemarketing thing is uncool-- it's better if you get into burglarly instead.)

But we do report the news and this photo of Tila Tequila that supposedly proves she was a Vegas escort falls under that category, at least as far as our threshold is concerned...

The only reason we think this flyer, which a guy picked up from a total stranger in Vegas (no STD jokes, please), might be fake is the price: two girls for $79? Are those recession prices or pre-Tequila-MTV-fame prices? Because we can't imagine Vegas was that cheap even back then...

The original author explains that, once you call looking for the $79 special, the price immediately rises to $370. The call girl line operator hung up on when he explained that Tila and Suzette were probably one and the same. He never learned for sure whether Tila was just posing for the ad or actually worked for the hooker operation... or something else.

Until we uncover the truth, here's the full ad:

Via Spike.

Related:

Love Myself for Hating You: Tila Tequila

Sloppy Seconds: Why Should The Gays Thank Tila Tequila?

This Week In Gayness: Man Gets 150 Days For Being Accessory To Gay Murder

While You Were Sleeping: Better To Be Fat And Fit?

New Orleans Politician Arrested While Getting-- How Perfect-- A Lap Dance

Anyone Else Glad To See Criss Angel And/Or David Blaine Go Down Like A Punch To The Gut?

Video of the Day: Miley Cyrus and Her Dad Get Too Close For Our Comfort

Emily Farris — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:12:00 GMT

Seriously, it almost looks like they're going to make out a few times in this video of the Annie Leibovitz shoot posted on Vanity Fair's website. And you thought the pictures were creepy?

Sweet niblets, Annie Leibovitz’s photographs of Miley Cyrus sure have caused a stir. One financial blogger even went so far as to speculate that Disney’s stock could take a hit, now that “its $1 billion Miley Cyrus franchise is at risk thanks to the June 2008 cover of Vanity Fair.” Cyrus isn’t actually on the cover, but we catch the drift. Except that, as this exclusive video shows, the nefarious photo shoot that has parents threatening to host Hannah Montana bonfire parties was actually a relaxed family event in one of the most picturesque settings imaginable: the green hills of Calabasas, California.

A little too relaxed if you ask us.

[Vanity Fair: The Miley Cyrus Photo Shoot]

Photo Essay: Revenge of the Cheated

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:00:00 GMT

And no, that's not Scanner Emily's revenge billboard (she's even more creative than that-- although you gotta love the postscript on that one)...

After today's earlier story on a cheating politician, we wondered if there were any other boneheaded dudes who not only couldn't keep it in their pants but also got owned, publicly. Yep. Quite a few... quite a few...

That car was an ugly old Ford anyway... but this one...

...that's just fucking wrong.

Speaking of wrong, what do we think of publishing full fronto photos of the cheater in question on the internet, emphasizing their almost total lack of naughty bits?

Too late! (Don't worry, we cropped the face out here-- you know, for privacy.)

For more cathartic photos of cheaters feelin' the burn, Jackass style, check out 35 millimeter.

Sloppy Seconds: Heath Ledger's Birthday

Emily Farris — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 21:19:00 GMT

This piece of art is almost entirely composed of naked bodies. Look closely.

Billionaire/ media mogul/ environmentalist Ted Turner is worried that if global warming continues at its current rate, we'll either be dead or cannibals in 30 to 40 years.

We just wanted to remind you that John McCain voted against the creation of MLK Day. Politically motivated message complete, we now direct you to a serious, moving tribute to the man who was shot down in Memphis forty years ago today.

Annnnd back to trivial matters. Warning: next week we'll be posting exclusively in the beard typeface. Do not adjust your monitors.

And actor Heath Ledger would have turned 29 today.

-Scanner Brian for the broken Scanner Emily

Everybody Say CheeHOLY CRAP!

Bryan Christian — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:55:00 GMT

What's better, the pictures on the page "How background people ruin your photos" or the comments on the Reddit page where we found it?

neonominator 38 points 10 hours ago [-]
I just laughed harder than I have in a while to a photo submission.
That guy pissing behind those girls was fucking hysterical. Why did those other dudes just stand so close to him while he was doing that

diogames 37 points 10 hours ago * [-]
To rephrase your question, how many beers does it take for that to happen?

justinhj 14 points 8 hours ago
You've not been out drinking in England have you?

Actually, we have been drinking in England, but we were gonna guess a frat party in, like, some state in the southeast. What do you guys think?

Madonna/VF Gallery Reminds Us What's So Great About The Queen Of Pop

Bryan Christian — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:45:00 GMT

We're not so hot on the new Vanity Fair Green Issue cover featuring Madonna -- she looks great, but also like they put Poison Ivy in the new Batman without telling us -- but seriously, we double dog dare you to click through Madonna's 1992 Marilyn-inspired Steven Meisel spread in the new Madonna VF Retrospective and not swear off LiLo's attempt at conjuring up the soul of Norma Jean Baker forevermore. It's like comparing to apples to oranges -- ridiculously foxy, wholly self-assured oranges.

Actually, It's shocking how many of the other images found here seem like instant classics as well. Have a look -- and try to forget that when Madonna was at the peak of her young erotic powers, she was letting Warren Beatty hone the "sex" part of his becoming a "sexagenarian."

Flickrvision: Welcome to the Next Glorious Waste of Your Plugged-in Time

Bryan Christian — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 16:00:00 GMT

Holy Shinola, people -- have you seen Flickrvision yet? It's pretty much the best thing we've ever seen, and we were at a bachelor party this weekend.

Basically, it's a Google Maps mashup where photos are geo-located on a world map, one at a time, within a minute of their being uploaded onto Flickr. No nudity or anything -- it is Flickr, after all -- but in the 4 minutes that we spent hypnotized by it, we caught some hockey, adorable Indian kids, Bill Gates, SXSW, the other night's Justice show at MSG, Noel from The Mighty Boosh, and a bunch of plants in Wales. Oh, and that pic above, which comes to you directly from a freaking war zone.

Ohmigod, somebody get the 3D view on the big screens at the UN right now! Flickrvision will save us all!

This is Has Nothing To Do With Eliot Spitzer

Emily Farris — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 15:13:00 GMT

Nope, it's just your average, everyday frog humping a rubber duckie.

[Metro: Frisky Frog's rubber duck sex]