Scanner : parties

Playboy Mansion Visit Not Enough Incentive For Stoned Teenage Boys Anymore

Drew Grant — Tue, 12 May 2009 14:45:00 GMT

The Marijuana Project Policy is holding their 4th annual party at the Playboy mansion this year, hosted by Fairuza Balk (hey, 1999! I remember you!) and the Dandy Warhol's (you guys as welll!), but in case you are still some kind of freak that doesn't enjoy boobs, college music, and the chick from The Craft, Team Weed has a special incentive to get you to buy tickets.

And if you purchase tickets between today and May 18, your name will automatically be entered into a raffle to win a free night's stay for June 4 at The Andaz, a luxury hotel near the party.

So only pay the plane fare, ticket costs to get into the Playboy mansion, and the $200 for pot brownies, and you might get a free hotel room for one night only! Hey, maybe you can convince Fairuza you're holding auditions in there.

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Emily Farris — Mon, 11 May 2009 14:43:00 GMT

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Nudist Hotel

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:19:00 GMT

A new series on Hollywood film directors appears tonight and it looks pretty good, if you're into that sort of thing.

Donald Trump says a decision on Miss California will come today-- as The Dirty prepares to followup with a second topless photo.

The X-Men movies are being spun off into a new series of stories starring, ugh, Ryan Reynolds.

Ladies, where were you? Nate Silver went to a party and had to stand there... all alone.

A forty-five-year-old woman may become the oldest person to have a boxing championship title.

Germany is planning its first nudist hotel.

Feministing discussed the attacks on Carrie Prejean and whether they are justified or just mean ol' "slut shaming."

Kiefer Sutherland will be charged with misdemeanor assault for head-butting a designer who decked Brooke Shields.

And Katy Perry once got (fake) married in Vegas.

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SXSW In Review: The Best Worst Week

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 14:19:00 GMT

Scanner Colleen is a spoiled brat. That's all we're going to say about this photo, which we reluctantly captured for her.

After a week in Austin, we're at Scanner Emily's in Kansas City, Missouri, en route to New York. You can practically smell the burnout on our clothes-- or maybe that's the three-day-old B.O.

Either way, we're exhausted for a 12+ hour drive through most of the state of Texas, all of Oklahoma and Kansas, and finally a quick hop over the Missouri border into Kansas City. Amazingly, Emily drove every inch of the way, including several stretches without the coffee IV in her arm. Along the way, we listened back to all the free music we'd obtained-- and here's what we discovered...

To me, at least, these were the five best acts and/or shows we stood through during Austin's South By Southwest 2009 Music Conference.

Richard Swift - we had just arrived at the Bust Party when this up-and-coming crooner/rocker took the stage at the Mohawk. We all planned to hit the bar and clean them out of Lone Star and/or Shiner Bock when Swift kicked into high gear. (Watch a song from his performance here.) Speaking for myself, I forgot my original first priority and the fact that Bishop Allen were playing next and just stood on the balcony, transfixed by the funky, sweet, and tightly-wound opening performance.

Harlem Shakes - We were at Maggie Mae's, thinking We Were Promised Jetpacks were playing. As the Jetpacks hit the stage, our first thought was, "Man, I think I had them confused with another band-- they're rockin', but something's different. A new lead singer?" It turned out, I had misread the Maggie Mae's poster and I was actually seeing Harlem Shakes, which I only realized after standing through the entire set, knowing I was seeing a true breakthrough performance. I'm glad I did.

M. Ward - Years ago, we saw M. Ward open for Cat Power at the Warsaw in Brooklyn. It was altogether-- and to this day-- the worst concert we've ever seen. Ward played a droning series of piano ballads and seemed lost. Chan came out later on and actually was lost-- wandering into a Jim Morrison-like abyss from which she finally emerged a few years later to become the great stage presence we heard through the hair in her face that night. So, it was with great reluctance that we attended BrooklynVegan's party headlined by Ward, lately of She & Him. Within seconds, we had realized two things: 1) Ward continues to distance himself from his audience and 2) the echo added to his vocals, the catchy new songs, and, most of all, the choice of acoustic guitar over piano made for a dramatic about-face from the 2003 (?) show in New York. Check out his latest record and the instantly catchy "For Beginners."

Ken Haddock - for most of the week, we enjoyed free lunches at Latitude 30's British Music Showcase. None of the performers we saw topped our first show-- that of a group of ragtag Belfast folkies hoping for their own little Once deals. Haddock was our favorite, and someone would be wise to cover his songs ASAP.

Thao with the Get Down Stay Down - I actually missed their show in the park, but Emily filled us in with some mp3s yesterday. The band, which isn't as (yet) popular as their tour mates Rilo Kiley, seem tighter and more focused than that other California band. Perhaps Thao isn't as distracted by solo projects as Jenny Lewis. Perhaps-- hate to say it-- their music is just better.

There were plenty of notable bands and memorable moments: our friends the Crystal Stilts... the surprise of seeing Dinosaur, Jr. for free at 1:30am at the Bust party... even saving Sylvain Sylvain's cell phone before he was to play with the New York Dolls. But those five artists mentioned above are the ones we came away with expecting we'll be bragging about for the next 12 months.

You should check out their music and do the same.

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Happy St. Patrick's Day From Our Drunk Arses to Yours

Colleen Kane — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:12:00 GMT

Nice job we did on Scanner today, eh? No matter, it's St. Patrick's Day and 3/4 of the team is currently gadding about a town full o' parties.
To get you in the spirit of the day, here's a favorite by the Pogues, "Sunny Side of the Street." Incidentally, I just strolled down the shady side of the street to Austin's wonderful indie bookstore Book People, because when you're as pale as my Irish American arse, you don't ever walk in the sun if you can help it.

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Obama Crashes Carnival Party, Thanks to Naked Carnival Queen

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 16:18:00 GMT

We spent most of the weekend complaining about how peeved we were to be missing the New Orleans Mardi Gras, mainly venting to people standing next to us at New York's many Mardi Gras parties. It would've helped ease our guilty conscience over not supporting the Katrina-ravaged economy down south if someone had only alerted us to these photos sooner.

Viviane Castro is the Queen of Brazil's Carnival, which rolled through the streets of Rio on Saturday night. She caused mucho controversy last year by taking to the streets in little more than some body paint and a carefully-placed piece of Scotch tape. This year, she could only attempt to one-up herself if she brought politics into it: and she did... with something of an anti-Obama message.

According to some sources, the Queen used her body to cry out about the selling of the Amazon to US companies, who are destroying Brazil's pride and joy. The portrait of Obama on her right leg is to call him out on a perceived complacency or even complicity in the American corporate deals made by Brazil's president, pictured on her left leg.

Here are photos from her controversial 2008 appearance at Carnival:

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Drunkard Tells Brad Pitt He's Ugly

Colleen Kane — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 22:40:00 GMT

In continuing Golden Globes scuttlebutt, a drunken partygoing woman at HBO's afterparty told Brad Pitt he was ugly in his new movie, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Imagine waking up the next day to remember you'd done that?! (You're right; it would be pretty awesome.)

The details might be fuzzy for the perpetrator, but here's how it went down, according to the Daily Mail.

First she rambled about how Brad's aging makeup in the film made him look "ugly as a dog." Brad politely explained it was a necessary evil for the film, while the woman watched him closely, then declared, "And you should definitely shave that goatee because it looks just horrible."

Exit stage left, Brad's pals all have a laugh, everybody knows Brad Pitt will never be ugly, annnnnd: scene.

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Londoners Knew How to Drink Us Under the Table

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:39:00 GMT

Did you know that in the 1920s, long before Paris Hilton (can you believe there was a time B.S.T.-- Before Sex Tapes--?), London was a hotbed of sexual mania? And you thought Hemingway was having all the fun in Paris and the speakeasies had the best parties in New York.

According to a new book and the following awesome vintage photographs, Austin Powers was too late by about forty years...

According to the WSJ, the above photo is from a "Second Childhood" themed party-- which wouldn't be so creepy if it didn't wind up being a massive orgy:

And for those who think that freewheeling sex and drugs didn't come into vogue until the advent of rock 'n' roll, these bright young people might have said, "Well, my dear, the orgies," before tucking into the heroin and cocaine that were as much in evidence in these circles as face powder. But although this seamy side of the era occasionally protruded into the public view in law courts and coroner's inquests, for the most part what the public heard about was pranks, larks and elaborate scavenger hunts -- outrageous fun, just enough to shock but not to appall the great British public.

The Boston Globe adds in their review of the book, entitled "Bright Young Things: The Lost Generation of London's Jazz Age":

He discusses the group's connections, style, self-image, wherewithal, employment, appetites, proclivities, and most notorious capers and parties. But, in the end, he shows that the element that really made them an entity, that defined and even created them, was the press. Various newspapers took them up in gossip columns (some written by Bright Young Persons themselves) and made of their exploits a continuing saga with familiar, recurring figures chiefly for the consumption of middle- and lower-middle-class readers. A life of a Bright Young Person became, in print, a "faintly sinister frieze, in which quiddity [was] reduced to idiosyncrasy."

Sound familiar? Wonder if your average gossip writer read the above story in yesterday's paper and had a change of heart.

The same Globe article mentions there's also a book out called "The Hell-Fire Clubs: Sex, Satanism and Secret Societies." Sadly, according to the review, it doesn't live up to its title.

The Bright Young People were also -- many of them -- part of a gay subculture that had started at Eton and continued at Oxford. So these pages are filled with charming cross-dressers and men who make up their faces and dither about it: One of them, who became Lord Faringdon in his later years, was described by an irate heterosexual as "a pansy pacifist of whose private tendencies it might be slander to speak." Faringdon once addressed the House of Lords as "my dears," instead of "my lords." This founding of a gay lifestyle seems as political in its way as the controversy over California's Proposition 8 is now. We don't want to do it your way, the Bright Young People seemed to be saying. Look what your way got us into. We want to do things our way and slip into our chiffon. [Washington Post]

Top image via the Boston Globe. Second image via the Wall Street Journal.

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New Year's Celebrations Lacking Balls

Colleen Kane — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 20:46:00 GMT

Balls are historically controversial. Not everyone is a fan, and not everyone necessarily wants to see one sliding down a pole on New Year's Eve. Of course we are talking about balls like the famous one in Times Square that mark the turning of a new year. Why, what did you think we were talking about?

Anyhoozle, we were hoping that someone else had already compiled a list of weird and wacky shapes that get dropped at midnight on New Year's Eve, and luckily, TripAdvisor did, because we are lazy post-Christmas sluggards, fat with sugarplums and pie.

As you'll see on the following list, among the alternate shapes that are improvements on balls: pickles, sausages, and bologna.

1. Key West, Florida - Conch, drag queen and pirate

2. Bethlehem, Pennsylvania - marshmallow "peep"

3. Port Clinton, Ohio- fish

4. Mount Olive, North Carolina- pickles

5. Elmore, Ohio - sausages

6. Lebanon, Pennsylvania- bologna

7. New Orleans, Louisiana - gumbo pot

8. Easton, Maryland- crab

9. Plymouth, Wisconsin - cheese

10. Raleigh, North Carolina- acorn

Those are great and all, especially the Peep, but why? Read the explanations in the article.

Return of the Gay Balls

Obama's Dainty Balls

Image: newyearsdrop.blogspot.com

Cops Stripped Of Duties After Wild Hooker Party

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:53:00 GMT

Imagine you're a cop in Australia. How is it possible you're able to carry out your duties with the high-quality gene pool there?

Who could blame the cops in the country's Northern Territory for growing restless while on patrol and stopping off at the Hooker Ball for a grope and grind?

According to the local media in Darwin, NT, the two cops were removed from street work after compromising photographs turned up from an annual pimps-and-hoes-themed costume party in the sleepy capital. They were supposed to be checking the club for crime, drunken antics, and proper licensing, but instead got a couple of lapdances and delivered one or two spankings. What, does Darwin want its cops to be asexual or-- worse-- un-fun?

As these pictures prove, the coppers had no other choice. They should be exonerated.

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Sloppy Seconds: Flavor of the Week

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 23:36:00 GMT

Who the hell wants to steal used sex toys? Oh, right: weirdos.

A drunk driver led police on a high-speed chase and after trying to escape from the scene, somehow running over both his legs with his own truck. You just have to read this one.

Even better: almost two dozen people were arrested for underage drinking at a party celebrating the life of a person who died from... underage drinking.

Twilight star Kristen Stewart was photographed smoking pot in front of her house. That's not going to help with her image.

Barack Obama and Sarah Palin will meet (for the first time!) next week.

We can picture it now: the new CBS show "The Psychic Dog." An Ohio police dog bit a man who is accused of dogfighting.

Weirdest concert pairing ever? Jay-Z and Coldplay are teaming up to do three shows in the U.K. next year.

And Scanner Emily herself is the subject of the most recent Flavor of the Week in the New York Press. For the gory details, click here. Personally, we're just glad we were too busy eating casseroles to get caught up in the drama.

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About Last Night: Pictures from the Nerve and Hendrick's Gin Burlesque Party

Emily Farris — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 03:11:00 GMT

In case you hadn't gathered it from our slightly groggy yet not terribly hungover posts late this morning, Nerve and Hendrick's Gin threw what we're calling a crazy burlesque party (though "the best night ever" has also been thrown around) at The Box. You may recognize The Box as Chuck Bass' club on Gossip Girl and we will remember it as the place where anything we may or may not have done doesn't count. It was easy for things like that to happen when delicious cucumber and rose water infused Hendrick's cocktails were free flowing and everyone looked amazing.

After the jump: Nerve's publisher, Rufus Griscom and his wife, Alisa Volkman, World Famous Bob with photographer George Pitts, a little person with a big bottle of gin, Angie Pontani emerging from a bathtub full of Hendrick's and Scanner Emily's butt. See if you can guess which one it is; all we'll say is that Slutoween came a little early for us this year.

MORE PICTURES HERE.

All Images by Nikola Tamindzic/Home of the Vain unless otherwise noted.

Agatha Wasilewska

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Scanner Brian May Not Be Posting Lolcats...

We're Still Getting It Together This Morning...

Scanner Brian May Not Be Posting Lolcats...

Emily Farris — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 16:53:00 GMT

...but when Scanner Emily is hungover from too many Hendrick's Gin cocktails to count, that's what you get.

As Scanner Brian mentioned earlier, we're all recovering from the Nerve/Hendrick's Gin crazy burlesque party at The Box on Manhattan's Lower East Side. We didn't even think we liked gin, but somehow we put back what we're sure was at least an upward of ten delightfully tasty gin cocktails. While we still try to figure out if last night actually happened, we'll leave you with this lolcat. We thought it was appropriate considering our plus one told us she woke up with her legs inside the arm holes of a thermal shirt this morning. We had red lipstick all over our face and on both arms and we even had to bring out a new bag of Hangover Corn at 7 a.m. Isn't it a damn shame that the best nights are always followed by the worst mornings?

Hopefully we'll have pictures to post soon. Until then, enjoy the cats.

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We're Still Getting It Together This Morning...

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 14:34:00 GMT

Our heads feel like they've been run over by this chimp's runaway Segway. Last night, we indluged in the Hendrick's Gin party you may have read about on nerve.com.

We can only manage this video post at this time-- be thankful it's not just an LOL Cats post.

We'll be up and running again momentarily... until then, enjoy the video, after the jump...

Cop Fired For Drinking With Teens, Tasering Them For Laughs

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 18:05:00 GMT

You'd think after all the horror stories about death-by-cop and death-by-tasering-by-cop, that a) a cop would be hesitant to use it on an innocent fifteen-year-old boy and b) the fifteen-year-old boy wouldn't have verbally requested a tasering... for fun...

But that's exactly what happened at one party consisting of more than a dozen underage drinkers and one police officer... an off-duty police officer... who was also drinking.

The video capture above is more than you need to know, but the facts are these, in case you care:

Officer Dan Nesmith has now been fired from the force. He admitted to the party after his own taser was used as evidence against him. It turns out every police taser has a computer chip in it and that told Eustis' police chief when it was fired.
It's absolutely shocking that a police officer would host a house party with kids as young as 15 and 16 drinking, but it is jaw-dropping to watch a cop who's been drinking offer to use a taser on a 15-year-old boy in the middle of the big birthday bash.

Do we need to mention this took place in a small town in Florida? Nope, didn't think so.

By the way, check out this hilarious picture caption:

It was one of the kid's goals-- life goals-- to receive a tasering? Dude, Officer Nesmith, tase him again...

Via WFTV.

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Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:05:00 GMT

Rob Iler, better and perhaps forever known as A.J. Soprano, at the grand opening of Cabana One, at the Mayfair Hotel in Miami.

Courtesy 5WPR.

Celebrate Banned Books By Buying Everything On This List

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 19:52:00 GMT

We forgot to remind you that it's Banned Books Week here on Earth... as opposed to on Mars, where some of these anti-First Amendment types like your future VP (the rumored basis for Voldemort in the oft-banned Harry Potter series) apparently hail from.

Here's a list of banned books, plus events promoting authors rights in your area...

1984

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer

Alice in Wonderland

Anne Frank: The Diary of A Young Girl

Beloved

Brave New World

The Bible

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee

The Call of the Wild

Canterbury Tales

Catcher in the Rye

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

The Clan of the Cave Bear

The Color Purple

...pissed yet? We're not even through the C's... and, after all, this is a very abbreviated list...

If you want to express your concern, here's a taste of events going on all over the country. Find an event near you on this page.

San Francisco Center for the Book (ongoing)
Banned & Recovered: Artists Respond to Censorship

Black-Eyed Sally's in Hartford, CT (tonight)
An ACLU event "dedicated to appreciating the music of artists who refuse to let authorities dictate their freedom of expression."

Little Shop of Stories in Decatur, GA (was Saturday)

Wine and Cheese Party with readings from favorite banned books

The Nyack Library in Nyack, NY (October 4th at 2pm)

High school students will read from banned books. Additionally, we will have a Banned Books display for the whole week.

For more events, click here.

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Mom Gets Five Years In Prison For Going Down On Her Daughter's Friend

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 17:21:00 GMT

A woman in Ohio has been sentenced to five years in jail for having oral sex with her daughter's underage female friend.

Oh, but it gets so, so much better...

Becky Jo Tatum, 42, was arrested recently for going down on the girl at a wild, drug-fueled party for her teenage daughter at their home in Bexley. When police raided the party, they found a shotgun, cocaine, and an underage female who had been Tatum's sex partner. (The age of consent in Ohio, by the way, is 16.)

Tatum was booked for posession of cocaine, sex with a minor, and on weapons charges. Tatum is not allowed to own or carry guns because she had prior drug and prostitution convictions on her record. Wow. These must've been some parties...

So, we're guessing, that might be why she ends up with a whopping five years behind bars-- it ain't just the oral sex that brought down her empire...

Via WTVN.

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Hey... Wanna Make Out? With A Thousand People?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:35:00 GMT

Before the news about Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch knocked everything else off the front pages, the New York Times had a story about teenage makeout parties in Chile, which, they term, "was once of Latin America's most sexually conservative countries."

The best part about these Chilean makeout fests is that they are actually contests... making it pretty hard to imagine Chile having been "sexually conservative" in the recent past...

[T]he youth of Chile are bumping and grinding to a reggaetón beat. At the Bar Urbano disco, boys and girls ages 14 to 18 are stripping off their shirts, revealing bras, tattoos and nipple rings.

Everyone is making out, some without even saying a word to each other first...

About 800 teenagers sway and bounce to lyrics imploring them to “Poncea! Poncea!”: make out with as many people as they can.
And make out they do — with stranger after stranger, vying for the honor of being known as the “ponceo,” the one who pairs up the most.

Wow-- haven't these people ever heard of mono? We're guessing they're all pretty much past that phase already. We can't wait for the promoters to realize they can follow up with a sequel, maybe for a slightly older crowd, one that involves chanting "Blow! Blow!"

We think you can guess what we mean by that, although we'll give you a hint: it's something you see on every tropical beach during spring break.

Photos via the New York Times.

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When The Folks Are Away, New Hampshire Teens Party Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 14:02:00 GMT

We're not condoning hosting parties at your parents' house in New Hampshire at the age of fifteen and getting your friends to get drunk and run around in the streets naked... although if you do repeat this incident, please take pictures, censor them so we don't go to jail, and send us evidence that your high school experience is way better than everyone else's...

Otherwise, we don't believe a word of it...

According to the public police log, the neighbor called the homeowner in New York and at 11:44 p.m., told police the teens were drinking and running in the street unclothed.
When officers got to the residence, one teen fled and a police dog from Rochester was called in to track his direction of travel, said Maloney. The scent led to a parent's home in Rye, where the parent refused to allow police inside to search for her son, police say.

This must've been one smart police dog (was it the one from that Jim Belushi movie?), because it wasn't long before the fugitive nudist was apprehended at a different residence. (Side note: how funny would that be? It's midnight in New Hampshire and you're probably asleep-- the doorbell rings and it's a naked fifteen-year-old, asking if he can come in, covering his privates with one hand and waving from the porch with the other. So... you let him in, clothe him, and don't tell the police he's there? And and and... does this count as harboring a fugitive? Because that would be hilarious if the police charged whoever housed the kid with that...)

Before we get completely sidetracked, also note how the party continued... at the hospital, for God's sake:

At 1:56 a.m., an officer was called to Portsmouth Regional Hospital "to help restrain an out of control juvenile" who was brought there from the same underage party, according to the public police log. [Seacoast Online]

That one time we had a party in high school, there wasn't even enough rum for the girls to get the perpetually-naked-jock-dude to take off his shirt... my, how times have changed...

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Today in WTF: Guy Gets Off (For/On) Getting 14-Year-Old Girl Drunk, Violating Her

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 20:20:00 GMT

This is such a crazy clusterfuck of a court case, we're going to do something we almost never do: take the entire article relaying the facts of the case and present them to you, without abbreviation. You have to read every word to get the full picture...

Having sex with a drunken 14-year-old he had plied with alcohol was not a criminal offence by [a] former Calgary man, a judge ruled yesterday.
Justice Peter McIntyre said there was insufficient evidence the girl didn't consent to having sex with Trevor Byron Niebergall.
But McIntyre did find Niebergall guilty of sexual assault for placing his genitals on the girl's face after she passed out -- an act the offender captured on his cellphone camera and showed to co-workers.
McIntyre said the fact the teenage complainant didn't remember her sexual encounter with Niebergall at a December 2005 New Year's Eve party did not mean she hadn't consented.

He noted one witness said she appeared to have the capacity to consent when she and Niebergall went to a washroom in his brother's apartment, where they had sex. And the Queen's Bench judge said the girl willingly consumed large amounts of alcohol supplied by Niebergall even after he made lewd sexual comments.

Hold it! Let's break it down: there was insufficient evidence she didn't consent (rather than the other way around)... he put his dick on her face when she was asleep (but apparently that's not painting a picture for the judge of a pervert here)... she didn't remember having sex but still was somehow sober enough to consent... she was not too drunk to walk to a bathroom, which apparently means she was okay to operate sexual machinery... okay, okay, he was found guilty of assaulting her with that whole penis thing, so we'll say no more for now.

She said on three occasions the accused said he would drink with her if she performed a sexual act on him.
"The accused's lewd comments towards her did not compel her to leave," the judge said. "The complainant was not forced to consume alcohol -- she drank ... beer willingly and then switched to alcohol. It is not at all clear why she drank so heavily."

Because she was a drunk fourteen-year-old girl hanging out with older men and did not leave before they screwed her, there's no crime. Also, beer is not alcohol?

Niebergall, then 19, showed photographs of the teen, naked and passed out, to co-workers the following day, bragging he had had sex with her six times.

Nope, no punishment or even a charge for displaying this photo without permission.

But in his testimony he said they only had sex twice, one in the bathroom and later when other partygoers had left and both times with her consent.

Ha ha. Well, at least he couldn't exaggerate the size of his manhood, since it's in the picture.

McIntyre said because the girl drank so heavily and had little recollection of events at the party, he could not accept her claim she didn't agree to have sex.
"Her evidence was not reliable after she started drinking," he said.
Crown prosecutor Susan Kennedy said a 45- to 60-day jail term is warranted for the incident which occurred after the teen passed out.
Defence lawyer Pat Flynn has requested a pre-sentence report before making his full submissions. The case returns to court on Oct. 14.

We understand that drunkenness taints the case and the fact that the girl doesn't remember what happened really hurts the prosecution's chances of a conviction for anything, but that still doesn't mean we like the verdict.

Remember that, girls-- there's a new sheriff in town. Drink so much as a beer and get violated in every orifice (sorry for that imagery), the courts won't be there to protect you.

Via The Calgary Sun.

What Happens When You Press the Emergency Button?

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:36:00 GMT

Click through to find out what happens when the red button is pressed. Go ahead, you know you want to.

The Emergency Party Button. When you need to get it started IMMEDIATELY.

What The Bloody Hell Is St. Patrick's Day, Anyway?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:20:00 GMT

Is it, as practiced in this country, merely an excuse for people to get drunk? Moreover, is it the one chance for white males to have their day in the sun, cherishing a heritage that may or not actually be theirs? An excuse to grope redheads (as if we need one)? Or is it a real holiday, not created by Hallmark or McSorley's...?

To know more about why March 17th drives people to drink, we look to the all-knowing Wikipedia, which tells us nothing:

When he was about sixteen [Patrick] was captured by Irish raiders and taken as a slave to Ireland, where he lived for six years before escaping and returning to his family. He entered the church, as his father and grandfather had before him, becoming a deacon and a bishop.
Pious legend credits Patrick with banishing snakes from the island, though post-glacial Ireland never actually had snakes...

So, St. Patrick's Day is founded on a pack of lies. Better yet, to start a rumor, St. Patrick is a fraud and was created by a very stoned J.K. Rowling. Seriously, though, we're stil not sure how a day celebrating an ancient priest turned into the only time straight men can get away with holding each other's hair over a public toilet.

And according to the History Channel, it was only recently that the government of Ireland sold out to revelers who haven't gone to bed since Mardi Gras and are looking for an excuse to sing Pogues songs:

In modern-day Ireland, St. Patrick's Day has traditionally been a religious occasion. In fact, up until the 1970s, Irish laws mandated that pubs be closed on March 17. Beginning in 1995, however, the Irish government began a national campaign to use St. Patrick's Day as an opportunity to drive tourism and showcase Ireland to the rest of the world.

All we know is that however you celebrate tonight (wait, you started already?!), please don't subject us to any of the following:

MORE: New York Post on St. Patrick's Day

Teen Prisoners Have Wild Sex Party on Valentine's Day

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:00:00 GMT

It seems some Australian teens took a page from our homeboy Corey Worthington over Valentine's Day. Unfortunately, these teens were juvenile delinquents who were supposed to be guarded and locked down but who instead paid an unexpected and well-received visit to a nearby girl's dormitory.

Having spent time in the tank as a teenager myself, speaking strictly as Scanner Brian, I can definitely say that I would've rather snuck out to visit the girl's prison than to make any sort of daring escape. Then again, I would've probably been too terrified to just waltz into another prison and propose a wild orgy on Valentine's Day, as these lovable tykes apparently did:

A Territory mother said she was "furious" when her 15-year-old son - who is serving three months for a minor crime - told her he had taken part in the jailhouse sex escapade.

"He told me that they had all had sex in the one room - it was a big Valentine's Day sex romp," the 31-year-old mother said.

The guards had left the doors open-- in the male and female lock-ups, it appears-- on Valentine's Day and the guys and girls congregated for some consensual lovemakin'.

The mother said her son and the other teens had laughed off the orgy as "fun and games".

But she said several parents were now "in talks" with a lawyer about possibly taking civil action. "One father of a girl involved said he was going to sue the pants off them," the mother said.

Yep, that prison is in deep doo-doo. Ironically, the party animal of the Aussie nation has shrugged off the wrath of his parents and is going into the party-making business big time. Man, and we thought America had f-ed up that whole parental guidance thing...

[Link: News.com.au]

[Previously: Famous Glasses.]

Australian Party Kid Charged with Creating Child Porn

Emily Farris — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 12:26:00 GMT

Remember that video we showed you yesterday of the kind-of punky Aussie kid with the "famous glasses" whose "drinking party" attracted 500 revelers?

Now he's being charged not only with public nuisance, but with creating child pornography.

There were a few shots of naked dudes running around in the video, which we've included below in case you missed it yesterday. And they may have been under 18. If that's the case, then we've probably created some child porn in our lives as well. Oops.

Any bets on when he'll get his own show on MTV?

http://view.break.com/433536 - Watch more free videos

[The Sydney Morning Herald: Melbourne party teen charged]

[Previously on Scanner: Famous Glasses]

(Thanks, Richard!)

Famous Glasses

Emily Farris — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 16:28:00 GMT

Just in case you haven't yet seen the video of the kid in Australia who threw "a drinking party" and then mouthed off to a newscaster ("I'll apologize but I won't take my glasses off, they're famous,") here it is.

http://view.break.com/433536 - Watch more free videos

In Case You're the Type to Get Drunk and Make Out With Your Boss at the Holiday Party...

Emily Farris — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:16:00 GMT

...the Wired Wiki on Managing Holiday Hookups is for you:

First thing to remember in case of holiday party hook-ups is that somebody knows, which means that many people know. So that paranoid feeling you have, get over it. Everybody who's anybody knows. So just put that worry behind and move on to the real issue: you are now involved with a co-worker.

[Wired]

Nerd Party Challenges Nerve Party to Drunken, Clothing Optional Throwdown

Bryan Christian — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:50:00 GMT

OK, not really. But wouldn't it be great if somehow the Nerve Absinthe party and the Nerdcore Calendar Release Party (as pictured on Destructoid) were to get into a sauced-up, bi-coastal rumble? We're pretty sure everyone's a winner in that challenge.

(The tasteful robot heads on the model's bits over there were all Destructoid's doing, btw, just so you don't write in thinking it was us. We wanna see the real thing too.)