Scanner : parades

PapSmeared: Holly Madison Leads the Bikini Parade

Emily Farris — Fri, 15 May 2009 16:12:00 GMT

This Week in Gayness: Aubrey O'Day May Be Gay

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:36:00 GMT

Ha ha-- Ken Starr is now forced to argue "whether it's legal to divest rights from a group of people." In this case, straight, married Californians.

Married Massachusetts lesbians made national news this week when one, clearly intoxicated, attacked the other with a turkey baster allegedly containing the attacker's brother's "sperm," in an attempt to impregnate her by force.

The religious wacko Obama appointed is meeting with Concerned Women for America and the Family Research Council-- guess who they're concerned about?

In a bold move yesteday, 38 graduates of West Point Military Academy came out of the closet to help support the gay movement in the army.

Bob Dylan's new album comes out at the end of April. Until then, we can only stare at that surprising, teasing cover and its already-famous gay kiss.

Nigeria, instead of fighting ripoff artists, wants to focus on punishing married gays and lesbians with three-year prison terms.

There were was an all-inclusive St. Patty's Day Parade in NYC over the weekend.

Aubrey O'Day may have come out of the closet to MTV.

Ending on a positive note as usual, the high school lesbian who was banned from wearing a tux to her prom will get her wish after all.

The Gay Marriage Debate Rages on in California

Moran Suggesting We Need To Get Rid Of Obama

This Week In Gayness: Sean Penn vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger

The Best Job in the World? Carnival Body Painters

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 20:33:00 GMT

Since our coverage of Brazil's carnival celebrations began on Monday, curious readers have been musing on the lucky bastards who get to paint fake pasties, images of Obama, and "pieces of tape" on the queens of the parade.

Luckily, MSNBC took a break from goofing on Bobby "Hale-Bop Eyes" Jindal to bring us a profile of one of those lucky bastards...

Among the highlights from the extended profile (geez, you would think the reporter actually desired to stick around all those completely naked women getting done up in exotic colors) of Betto Almeida, the most hated man in South America today, are these choice moments:

...he spends hours painting the bodies of gorgeous women — and earning as much as $2,000 a day...
"You wouldn't believe how many applications I get for an assistant," Almeida deadpanned, never taking his eyes from his work as he brushed bright orange paint on the stomach of a model in his glass-enclosed studio under the grandstands at the Sambadrome...
...models who earn about $250 a night to mingle, clad only in paint, with high-rollers in the luxury boxes...

Michele Peres, a 28-year-old model wearing tiny black shorts, snakeskin stilettos and a watch... "...his work draws more attention to me. It is good for him, it is good for me."
Both women said some men — mostly foreigners — get a little frisky in the box seats...
...he dipped his brush into one of a dozen plastic water bottles cut in half to hold his paint, carefully painting jaguar spots on the back of the model's thighs...

"...How could I say no?" he asked, diving into a cheeseburger after finishing up with Peres. "A lot of guys are jealous of my job."

The full story is here.

Related:

Brazilian Carnival Outdoing Itself Almost Daily With Risque Nudity

Obama Crashes Carnival Party, Thanks to Naked Carnival Queen

Sports Illustrated Fails At Bikinis, Tries Bodypainting

Obama Crashes Carnival Party, Thanks to Naked Carnival Queen

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 16:18:00 GMT

We spent most of the weekend complaining about how peeved we were to be missing the New Orleans Mardi Gras, mainly venting to people standing next to us at New York's many Mardi Gras parties. It would've helped ease our guilty conscience over not supporting the Katrina-ravaged economy down south if someone had only alerted us to these photos sooner.

Viviane Castro is the Queen of Brazil's Carnival, which rolled through the streets of Rio on Saturday night. She caused mucho controversy last year by taking to the streets in little more than some body paint and a carefully-placed piece of Scotch tape. This year, she could only attempt to one-up herself if she brought politics into it: and she did... with something of an anti-Obama message.

According to some sources, the Queen used her body to cry out about the selling of the Amazon to US companies, who are destroying Brazil's pride and joy. The portrait of Obama on her right leg is to call him out on a perceived complacency or even complicity in the American corporate deals made by Brazil's president, pictured on her left leg.

Here are photos from her controversial 2008 appearance at Carnival:

Related:

Does This Supermodel Look Fat To You?

Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

Dita Von Teese Ends Her Paris Show in Style

Fake Celebrity Engineers Fake Topless Candids

The Naked Lady Rides Again In Oregon

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 15:25:00 GMT

What's Earth Friend Gen doing with her hands?

Back in June, we told you about Gennifer Moss, the "Infamous Naked Lady," who was prevented from bike riding naked in Ashland, Oregon's 4th of July parade. She's back in the news again, this time for actually following through on her promises, despite public outcries...

According to several sources, including the Associated Press, Moss has been riding her rollerskates naked through the Portland streets. The police, of course, are concerned for Gen's "safety":

They were getting calls about a nude on-line skater whizzing past tourists and rush-hour commuters.

But you can do that in Oregon, where occasional nude bike rides draw police only for crowd control and shows featuring live sex acts are protected as free speech.

Interestingly enough, the article eventually admits that the calls weren't "complaints." Rather, the fuzz said that Oregonians are so nice that they were merely concerned about their Earth Friend's well-being and that they stepped in to check on her. Nice try, copper.

By the way, press reports are confusing, but it sounds like one of the complaints was actually on behalf of construction workers. What the hell is going on with this country?

Via WKTZ.

Related:

Infamous Naked Lady To Parade Topless On July 4th

Hot or Not: Lingerie Football League?

Illinois: That's It, We've Had Enough Of Your Nude Midget Wrestling

While You Were Sleeping: Will Ferrell Answers Your Questions

Crush of the Week: Kate Middleton, Rollerskating Queen

While You Were Sleeping: Will Ferrell Answers Your Questions

Boobs On Bikes Rides Again, Despite Violent Anti-Violence Protests

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 16:12:00 GMT

Steve Crow, local porn king and former mayoral candidate, rode through the streets of Auckland today in style-- triumphant style, complete with victorious adult film stars, motorcyclists, and a plethora of topless women...

They were met by 100,000 people, many of whom heard about the ride due to the recent publicity, i.e. major controversy. Up until a few days ago, it seemed as if the ride might not go through, until an appeals court ruled restrictions placed on the event would have to be lifted. Crow, who organizes the yearly event, put out an APB on the decision and tourists, participants, and protestors arrived in droves...

Crow told reporters they would avoid confrontation by warning "the girls beforehand to keep the jiggling to a minimum and not to do anything that would be deemed offensive." However, an egg thrown at the fearless leader narrowly missed a cop, which caused some temporary pandemonium while the protestor was located.

One man shouted at Mr Crow, asking him if he was a pervert.

Mr Crow replied he was not a pervert, he was comfortable with who he was and what he did, and it was the man on the sidewalk who was the pervert.

While the crowd was predominantly male from all age groups and professions, many women also watched the parade.

Other activists, who said the parade and the pornography industry promoted violence against women; they had to be cleared from the streets at several intervals so the parade could continue.

More photos here.

Stories and photos here, here and here.

Our previous story, about the possibility the parade would be cancelled, is here.

Related:

New Zealand Party Poopers Move To Shut Down "Boobs On Bikes" Parade

German Female Olympians Form Close Bond, Immediately Pose Nude For Playboy

Maxi Mounds And Her Boobs Break Guinness Record...

This Week In Gayness: Man Gets 150 Days For Being Accessory To Gay Murder

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 17:40:00 GMT

An anti-gay advocate told his viewers to pray for God to rain (water? frogs?) down on Obama's outdoor acceptance speech later this month.

Wait, how can someone be both gay and a Mormon? Good luck to you, pal, 'cause that's a rough road yonder.

California Attorney General Jerry Brown, himself a former Governor, may have higher aspirations (again.) Which may or may not be the reason he says gay marriage will remain legal in the state, regardless of the outcome of Proposition 8.

Tila Tequila appears to be in a relationship with a woman. The endless putdowns from Lesbiantopia make Tequila's continued celebrity a bit more tolerable.

A businessman in Colorado appears to be a lock for the next openly-gay Congressperson after winning the Democratic primary.

About.com has Gay Pride pics from Chicago.

A 9/11 scammer who turned to blogging about gay life for extra cash has been extradited. Fucker.

Female-on-female prisoner violence has been exposed at one notorious New York prison.

UK straight divorce? 50 percent. UK gay divorce? Zero percent.

And the saddest news of the week is this:

Aleksandr Shevchenko was convicted of disturbing the peace after allegedly throwing a bottle at Satender Singh during a confrontation in July 2007 at a Sacramento-area lake. The jury deadlocked on whether to add a hate-crime charge to Shevchenko's sentence.

His friend, of course, is the one that threw that fatal punch that killed Singh. We're pretty sure he'll get community service, though.

This Week In Gayness: Sean Penn's Next Movie

This Week In Gayness: My Boyfriend Won't Put Out

This Week in Gayness: Virginia Accidentally Marries Gay Men

This Week In Gayness: Lesbians Pick The Sexiest Woman Over 50

Love Myself for Hating You: Tila Tequila

New Orleans Politician Arrested While Getting-- How Perfect-- A Lap Dance

While You Were Sleeping: The Pregnant Lady Lingerie Controversy

Scanner Highs And Lows: Toplessness On Parade

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 21:27:00 GMT

This week we highlighted the world's growing insanity, lawlessness, and love for full-on nude parades...

Highs:

We got away with having a pair of topless women in a hot tub... in a gallery's window.

We made celebrity memoirs a lot more readable by doctoring their imagined covers.

Some loser "families" thought a bunch of topless women on motorcycles was somehow "inappropriate." We showed them what was what.

We encouraged you to have an affair with our husband.

We found out we're STFree.

We did some ogling of the lovers of celebrities.

We ogled a Japanese porn sensation. A 73-year-old Japanese porn sensation.

Lows:

We lamented the loss of nudity in Cosmo.

Larry King got wasted. At least he didn't make a sex tape.

Amy Winehouse can't handle her liquor either.

We debated the worst model-turned-actress's performance.

We marked the death of a relationship.

And we're ashmed of ourselves for laughing at John Mayer... and TMZ. Wait, we're really not...

Previously:

Sloppy Seconds: The Million-Dollar Strip Club Buy

New Zealand Party Poopers Move To Shut Down "Boobs On Bikes" Parade

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 14:06:00 GMT

If you're going to have a parade with nothing but leather-clad motorcycle Dudes with capitol D's and topless babes as their passengers, you should be prepared for an angry conservative onslaught which is bound to shout you down...

A simple Google search will tell you there have been complaints (and stories of the massive amounts thereof) since 2006, but this is the first time those complaints have threatened to be fierce enough to shut down Auckland, New Zealand's lovely ode to the boob and, more importantly, the local erotica and porn trade.

Yesterday, the conservative action group Family First NZ (we have similar fascistic organizations here in America, including Focus on the Family and their ilk) filed a complaint with the city and argued the parade, set to take place in August, violates a new city ordinance barring public processions that are likely to be offensive to... well, someone.

"This parade is an advertisement for the porn industry which is simply a business, with no regard for the welfare and protection of families who are exposed to offensive aspects of the parade.
"It is certainly not a charitable family-friendly event like the Santa Parade or a sports event or celebration."

The parade drew thousands of people last year, as an assortment of porn stars, erotic dancers, models and a few drag queens, exposed their breasts downtown.

Mr McCoskrie said the event was in breach of the Crimes Act. "It will also now be in breach of a new bylaw just passed by the Auckland City Council (Bylaw 20.6.9 - Public Places 2008) banning public events likely to be offensive."

Well, at least this event is about something (the celebration of the human body, spirit, and need for dudes to see limitless ta-tas), whereas a sporting event is about bullshit.

The following video is nsfw either, but it gives you a much better idea of what the parade is like than these leering photos ever could.

These girls were campaigning for Steve Crow, mayoral candidate and porn scene fixture, at last year's parade. Surprisingly, he lost that race.

Read more about the parade here. If the parade goes off and there is photographic or motion picture evidence, we will provide...

Related:

The 2008 Mermaid Parade Rocked Our Partially-Nude World

While You Were Sleeping: We'll Score Or Go Topless For You

Sloppy Seconds: Topless Chicks Arrested At KFC

Male Mormon Missionaries Go Topless For The Hell Of It

Newspaper Runs Topless Photo of 13 Year Old Girl

Topless Seattle Coffeehouse To Take Down Starbucks?

Magazine Fights Censorship With Nude Six-Year-Old Cover Girl

"This Is The City's Response To A Penis" One of Many Classic Moments From Nude Gallery Raid

The 2008 Mermaid Parade Rocked Our Partially-Nude World

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:47:00 GMT

Wait, you've never heard of the Mermaid Parade? Well... you'll remember it now...

No wonder Mayor Bloomberg wants to turn the whole area into a Disney World of the Northeast, or at least Condominium World: he's too much of a stuffed shirt to appreciate Coney Island for what it is: an excuse for rampant pasties, men in diapers and thongs, and transvestites to come out for a day of fun in the 102-degree sun...

Our favorite moment was unfortunately not captured on film: The first group of marchers that came by were a handful of goth-type mermaids. As the leader hurried past, something flew off her and bounced along the pavement. As the crowd (and her fellow marchers cheered and laughed), the blushing girl ran back and snatched up her bust-enhancing pad, rejoined the group, and raced away...

NOTE: These are all low-quality jpg's of photos we took on the fly Saturday. For the full-quality shots, which are infinitely nicer on the eyes, check out our Flickr site.

We've been in love with this anonymous stranger for years, after we saw her flaunting herself like a lovely little degenerate in 2006.

We don't know what the Fulton Ferry is (or is it "was?"), but we're open to hearing more about it.

These dudes (and ladies) were doing some sort of absurd, sea-creature-themed dance routine.

What this had to do with the nautical theme, we're not 100%, but the dude in the wife beater T-shirt didn't hold that against these two.

There was something about this man that we found disarming, even beautiful. Then again, he was cooling us with a giant fan.

These enchantresses came by at a rare quiet moment in the parade. The half-naked dudes followed, of course.

Hairy man in heels... undoubtedly a big hit.

There are plenty more photos... plus versions of these you'll actually be able to enjoy, via our Flickr account. A more serious photographer has some decent photos here.

Infamous Naked Lady To Parade Topless On July 4th

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 15:01:00 GMT

Jen Moss, local celebrity in Ashland, Oregon, is planning to express her constitutional right to go topless in public during the town's 4th of July parade next month. However, she's running into stiff opposition (no pun intended.)

Moss has been known as "The Naked Lady" since she moved to Ashland in May from Ojai, Calif., drawn by the town's nudity laws. They specify only that people must cover their genitalia in a city park or the downtown commercial district, which means Moss need not cover her breasts.

Of course, the local Chamber of Commerce will ignore this law and the Bill of Rights and do whatever it takes to prevent Moss from parading on a bicycle, "wearing only a hemp G-string and blowing a conch shell."

"We don't feel that someone in the parade who is topless or nearly naked is appropriate for a family audience. She's welcome on any other day of the year to do that. But not on the Fourth of July while in the parade," parade chairman James Kidd was quoted.

Ahh... the Founding Fathers fought for naught, huh?

We'll keep you posted on the outcome. In the meantime, see this and this story for more on Jen Moss.

Crush of the Week: Veggie Pride Paraders

Emily Farris — Mon, 19 May 2008 21:09:00 GMT

We should first make clear that aside from one misguided and carbohydrate-loaded year, we do not practice vegetarianism. It's not beyond us to lick the blood from our steak plate, or better yet, sop it up with lard-fried French fries. In fact, we won't even date vegetarians (perhaps because we know they wouldn't want to watch us happily slurping up cow's blood?)

But we've been known to have crushes on plenty of people we probably wouldn't date if given the opportunity, and the Veggie Pride Paraders are some of those people.

We also love superheroes and people who aren't afraid to talk about their poop:

After the walking carrot and pea pod at the front of the procession came a couple in banana costumes, holding hands as they marched, and then a man in a "Super Vegan" costume with a blazing "V" on his chest and a woman waving a hot pink tinfoil pig with a plaintive sign reading, "Save me."
Bringing up the rear of the march were the ecofarmers with a long tube of pink netting representing a meat-eater's colon. It had signs pointing to "butt cancer," "polyps" and a large plastic "colostomy bag" filled with plastic poop.

Because there's nothing we appreciate more (not even butt cancer or superheroes) than people who appreciate their food—whether we agree with their choice of cuisine or not— the hundreds of proud vegetarians and vegans who swarmed New York City's Meatpacking District yesterday are our crushes of the week.

[NY Daily News: Vegetables on march against meat biz]

[Video: NY Mag at Veggie Pride Parade]

[Veggie Pride Parade]