Scanner : one night stands

Sam Rockwell Too Busy Having Sex With You To Learn Your Name

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 15:39:00 GMT

Sam Rockwell, who stars in this weekend's newest well-hyped movie, Choke, gave a very revealing interview to Parade Magazine in which he discussed his sex life (or lack thereof?) and uttered this immortal phrase:

"I personally didn't have time to get nervous. I was so busy having sex."

He was so busy having sex, it seems, that he only had enough time to greet the girls before he boned them, and nothing more. Of course, we're talking about the sex scenes in Choke here.

"A lot of them were there just for one day to do a sex scene with me so it was like, 'Hi," and then the director would be saying, 'Let's go. We've gotta do this.' And it was over and then it was on to the next one."

O to be a movie star! Among the articles other stunning revelations about Rockwell:

"Well, I don't think I've ever been one [a sex addict], so it took some work," he jokes. "I couldn't really identify with what my character was doing at first. I went to some sex addict rehab meetings just to find out more about what these people are all about. I went anonymously and I think I was only outed one time. Thank goodness TMZ didn't see me."

Click here to read the full interview, which ends with Rockwell discussing his next film, to be directed by David Bowie's son.

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"I Broke My Dick And It Made Shatner A Star"

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 14:37:00 GMT

Christopher Plummer told PageSix a sex story so bizarrely hilarious that we were forced to lift our own ban on linking to the New York Post to share it with you...

The movie star has a new autobiography out in which, according to the gossip rag we love to hate, he tells the following story about gearing up to play Henry V on stage in 1956, a role for which William Shatner was the understudy. (Note that just before the excerpt begins, Plummer has just had a wild one night stand with an unnamed woman...)

"I woke up alone the next morning... (pain) all around my groin and lower abdomen... I started to whimper like a whipped dog. 'So this is what syphilis is like?' I thought. 'I suppose I deserve it, but Christ, how the hell was I to know?'
But instead of being struck down by the disease, Plummer had dislodged a kidney stone and had to undergo a medical procedure with a surgical wire to resolve the problem.
He adds, "It began to sink in... Shatner, my understudy, would have to go on... (It) instantly brought back the pain. I screamed for a nurse who jabbed me with more morphine.
"I knew then that the S.O.B. was going to be a 'star.'" [WENN-- see, we avoided the Post]

Ooh, scandalous! It almost would make more sense of Plummer had contracted syphillis because it would explain his insane assertion that William Shatner became famous for a 1950s stage play by Billy Shakes. Everybody knows it was his rockin' version of "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds."

Right?

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Science Knows Why You Left the Bar with That One-Eyed Dude Last Weekend

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:15:00 GMT

Once again, like a broken record of nature sounds, pop science reporting gives us the low down on one night stands and the horrible impact they have on women. And as always, it's probably got something to do with biology and the fact that men will say anything for a piece. Seems that--

Guys just want, well, you know, while gals go to bed with the false impression of flattery and a craving for feeling desirable. The upshot, according to new research, is great for most men and the pits for most women.

Right, again, one more time for those of you who missed it:

Women who have sex with a stranger: gullible and insecure to the point of delusion.

Men who have sex with a stranger: deceptive adolescents.

Can we put this thing to rest once and for all? For the record ladies, as the article states--

"No woman should be flattered because a man wants to have sex with her once."

BUT if you're so good he comes back once more give yourself a pat on the back. You stone fox, you!

Drunken Kiwi Women Rampaging the Shire For Willing Man Flesh

Bryan Christian — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 18:49:00 GMT

Run Master Frodo! The gals in New Zealand (where they shot the LotR movies) are only after one thing -- and it ain't that ring of yours.

Dating culture is dead - instead, young New Zealand women are regularly getting drunk and cruising around in packs looking for men to have sex with.

That's one of the findings of a TVNZ Sunday investigation into the sexual behaviour of New Zealand women. The programme makers did the story after Kiwi women last year topped the Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey as the world's most promiscuous.

[...]

(TVNZ Sunday correspondent Janet) McIntyre said all the women who had experienced one-night stands had been affected by alcohol, a term described by at least one expert in a report as "getting pissed and hooking up".

Obviously this was an expert at "stating the fucking obvious."