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PETA Wants to Covet Your Neighbor's Sexy Wife

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 16:31:00 GMT

Now through March 11th, PETA has resolved to keep its topless protesters off the streets and to avoid throwing white paint at the Olsen twits and other enemies of furballs.

Instead, they've launched a new online competition featuring the Sexiest Vegetarians Next Door. The winner of the four rounds of voting wins a free trip to Hawaii... so, apparently, none of the girls pictured here are from Hawaii...

Alexi from Astoria (Queens), NY

Giselle from Miami, FL

Amy from Port Angeles, WA

Brooke from Ogden, UT. At the top of this post is Sunny from North Hollywood, CA. These are just a sampling of the many female contestants you can vote for at this link. The male contestants, as if anyone clicking on this post would care, are here.

PETA, via Fleshbot. For you enviable Europeans, voting begins here.

Related:

PETA Takes On Foie Gras, Valentine's Day, Decency Laws

Amy Winehouse, Topless Again, Stars in Her Most Bizarre Adventure Yet

PeTA: Again With Thinking Sex Sells Unpopular Idea

Some of the Hottest Women in the Country All Got Naked Together

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:12:00 GMT

For 40 smackers (in today's, you know, perfect economy), a copy of Timothy White's Hollywood Pinup could be yours. And, let us say, based on all available evidence, it would surely be worth your bottom dollar.

However, you would do almost as well just to see all the best photos from its steamy pages, after the jump...

Batting first is Angie Harmon, who we're pretty sure voted for John McCain yesterday. Luckily for her, she has other redeeming ass-pects to her personality...

Up next is the always jailbait-looking 23-year-old Michelle Trachtenberg:

Kate Hudson, you probably have a pretty decent personality, but how can we pay any attention to that when you pose for see-through ass shots?

You can see Susan Sarandon here and a nearly-butt-naked Rebecca DeMornay here. Meanwhile, we'll leave you with Mary-Kate Olsen... who normally we want nothing to do with. (We're in that minority of guys who think it's creepy to lust after the Olsen twins. Nonetheless, enjoy!)

Ah... now we get it.

While You Were Sleeping: The Naked Mannequin Orgy

Kate Winslet Takes it Off for Vanity Fair

20-Year-Old Teacher Strips For Her Students... On Video

Top 5 Sex Scenes From Comedies

Olga Kurylenko: "My Treasure Trove of Topless Photos Don't Count As Porn"

Sloppy Seconds: And Just What Does Woody Allen Think Is So Unfunny?

Emily Farris — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Is there even more "Sex and the City" in our future? [Us]

If you're just dying to hear Britney Spears' new single "Womanizer," here: [Radar]

Thank the God in heaven (who we don't really believe in): Elisabeth Hasselbeck is leaving The View (that we don't really watch) for Fox News (which we absolutely don't watch). [PopCrunch]

Is there trouble in Olsen Twin paradise? But not double trouble (har, har). [MollyGood]

Cynthia Nixon is very pleased with Brad Pitt these days. [People]

"It would be a disgrace and a humiliation if Barack Obama does not win," according to Woody Allen. [Yahoo!]

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Which TV Female Character Do You Wanna Be?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:15:00 GMT

Morgan Freeman was released from the hospital and will have to wear a neck brace for six months or more.

Don't read this if you want to go on disliking Lauren Conrad.

Who are the two richest kids in Showbiz? If you guessed Ricky Schroeder, you really aren't reading the right blog...

1= Miley Cyrus, $26 million (GBP13 million) 1= Daniel Radcliffe, $26 million (GBP13 million) 3. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, $15 million (GBP7.5 million) 4. The Jonas Brothers, $12 million (GBP6 million) 5. Zac Efron, $5.8 million (GBP2.9 million).

We don't think the Jonas Brothers should count because there are, what, how many of them... and re-spawning every minute?

The World's Greatest Dad is guilty of being one of the world's scuzziest.

Obama and Bush were the targets one of main's assassination plots, unrelated to yesterday's story about the teenage boy who planned to kill W.

What do you think of Defamer's list of the Top 10 TV Characters Women Want To Be Like And Women Want To Be With? Sexist? Spot on?

Tom Selleck will join "Dancing With The Stars?" He's not looking too shabby these days, either, he's probably in proper shape...

And Battlestar Galactica fans, rejoice: a two-hour special will air... next year.

Related:

"World's Greatest Dad" Arrested In Online Sex Sting

"Battlestar Galactica": In Desperate Need of a Safeword?

Sloppy Seconds: Is Sarah Jessica Parker the Unsexiest Woman In Hollywood?

Top 10 Teen Pop Stars

While You Were Sleeping: The Heath Ledger Investigation

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:33:00 GMT

James Franco denies the shirt he wears in Pineapple Express is "stolen."

Betty White and Rue McClanahan both avoided Estelle Getty's funeral.

Shia Labeouf will not, as previously rumored, lose a finger.

Even some offensive jokes are too offensive for Bob Saget: he has lashed out at an eating disorder joke and other comments made at the expense of the Olsen twins during his own Comedy Central roast.

Celebrity Hero of the Day: Kirk Douglas, who has long fought for an official US apology for slavery, is thrilled that the House has passed a fitting resolution.

A judge tossed Lisa Marie's lawsuit against ex-boyfriend Tim Burton, which comes as no surprise.

The paparazzi have yet to capture Nicole Kidman's phantom baby. In a photograph, of course.

Can you believe the cast Chicago director Rob Marshall assembled for his new musical, Nine: Daniel Day Lewis, Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, Kate Hudson, Dame Judi Dench, and Sophia Loren... for starters. There's also some guy named Fellini who's working on the screenplay...

The Heath Ledger investigation has closed. It's unclear whether Mary-Kate Olsen's refusal to testify is a reason investigators ended their search, for lack of evidence.

Via WENN.

Related:

Preliminary Results On "Who Would You Rather": DD Lewis vs. Bardem

Crush of the Week: Marion Cotillard

We Saw The Dark Knight In A Cavernous Movie Theater, During The Dead Of Night

Was Nicole Kidman Ever Really Pregnant?

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's Spiked Drink

Top 10 Rich People Who Look Poor

Emily Farris — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 13:45:00 GMT

When we were growing up, our mom always said "just because we're poor doesn't mean we have to look poor." But over the last few years we've seen people dressing like they're poor no matter how much money they have. Here we've compiled the top 10 rich people who look poor.

10. Peter Jackson
Producer/director Peter Jackson looks like he should be driving his El Camino (unironically) through the Burger King Drive Thru on his way to work at the video store. However, we do have to admit that this picture is old and he's looking much better these days; in fact, we'd probably make out with him now.

[Image via lightscameraaction.wordpress.com]

9. Penny Marshall
While it actually kind-of works for her, Penny Marshall doesn't exactly dress like she's raking it in from her big-time directing jobs.

[Image via lakers.topbuzz.com]

8. Tom from MySpace
Seriously, this guy sold MySpace to Rupert Murdoch for how many millions of dollars? You'd think he might want to change out of that t-shirt and put up a new picture. Maybe he could even afford a digital camera with a better DPI? Stop trying to be "one of us," Tom (if that really even is your name). You sold out a long time ago, and now MySpace sucks. The ads make it soooo sloooow. Do you have any idea how long it took us to grab this picture?

7. Si Newhouse
The Chairman and CEO of Advance Mags/Conde Nast is often spotted around 4 Times Square in "a well worn sweatshirt." While we could not secure photographic evidence of said sweatshirt, our many sources inside Conde Nast have confirmed this to be true.

6. Either of The Olsen Twins at Any Given Moment
While they're starting to grow out of it, the Olsen Twins defined hobo chic or boho or homeless chic or whatever the hell you want to call it. And if you've ever seen them wandering the streets of New York, you, too, may have mistaken them for malnourished homeless people who spent their $6/day sweatshop salaries on Starbucks.

[Image via tsl.pomona.edu]

5. Pete Doherty
Pete Doherty's look seems to always scream (or whimper) "Please sir, may I have some more?," whether he's asking for food, clothes or heroin.

[Image via news.com.au]

4. Nick Nolte
We don't think anyone will ever again think of Nick Nolte without thinking of this picture.

3. Britney Spears
There are just some things no amount of money could ever fix (though the Fiji water is definitely expensive, as far as bottled water goes).

[Image via socialitelife.celebuzz.com]

2. Trust Fund Hipsters
These kids spend a lot of their parents' money to look like they're forced to shop at the Salvation Army. The expensive coke also helps with the "too poor to buy groceries" look.

[Image via nochancepublishing.blogspot.com]

1. Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse is worth at least £10 million. She tops our list because not only does she look poor, she smokes crack, just to keep it real.

[Image via infdaily.buzznet.com]

Runner Up: Courtney Love
We know Courtney Love is supposed to be all Seattle rock grunge or whatever, but we really just want to give her some eye make-up remover and take her on a shopping spree (except we can't, because we really are poor).

[Image via nymag.com]

Jailbait Wait Has Us on Some Dull Version of Pins and Needles

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 16:40:00 GMT

Well, not exactly. But, because we were mildly entertained (shocked and horrified, we mean, of course) by the Olsen Twins countdown, we spent some time on Jailbait Wait and found out there's not much to look forward to. Sure, Emma Watson is cute, but she's no Jessica Biel (er..if Jessica Biel were under 18, which, thank God, she's not.). And Dakota Fanning. No one is watching the clock waiting to fool around with Dakota Fanning. Not even the people who run the site. Peep the blurb after the jump:

Dakota Fanning (born February 23, 1994) is an American child actress. Fanning's breakthrough performance was in I Am Sam in 2001. As of 2007, her most well-known films have been War of the Worlds and Charlotte's Web. She has won numerous awards, and is currently the youngest person ever to have been nominated for a Screen Actors Guild Award.

(There, I made a countdown for her. Now stop bugging me. -- Bill)

Where are the creepy, scintillating overly-personal details? Where are the photos that make you feel like a Dateline predator? And who the hell is Bill? Even the pervs who run this site are phoning it in. Looks like the days of unfettered enthusiasm for Hollywood barely legals have passed. Anyone on the edge of your seat waiting for an 18th birthday? Maybe someone should start a countdown to eligibility for senior citizen benefits, because Susan Sarandon is over sixty and looking pretty fucking nifty.