Scanner : offensive

Boobs Pull Double Breasted (Burger) Ad

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 11 May 2009 18:30:00 GMT

The Australian fast food chain called Nando's has offended the nation's sensibilities once again with a demeaning ad that involves boobs, French fries, "funny accents," and boobs. There are also boobs.

A complaint that the ad encouraged discrimination against women was upheld, meaning that the ad - for the “Classic Double Breast Burger” has been pulled.

ASB CEO Fiona Jolly said: “While the Board recognised the intended humour, it also considered a significant proportion of the community would be offended and find there was an element of sexuality and objectification of women that was concerning.”

In Nando’s submission, the company claimed it had behaved with “sensitivity to the relevant audience”. It added: “As a company, we are very proud of our irreverent brand nature.”

Nice try, sexist pigs, you are hereby banned. Or: your ad is banned. Or: you get more publicity for being banned than any stupid fast food ad in which someone's boobs play a prominent role ever could have done for your chicken sandwich special.

Here is the ad that is no longer in question, due to the almighty Advertising Standards Bureau, aka the Bureau, n. "a chest" of "drawers":

What do you think? Harmless, hilarious, hideous?

Via mUmbrella.

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Hey Ireland: Good Luck Stopping Internet Porn

Colleen Kane — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:41:00 GMT

We have never known the Irish to be prudish or disapproving about sex (and have certainly not been affected personally by it) but get this: some guy in Ireland has been trying to register the domain names "porn.ie" and "pornography.ie" for four years and his application keeps getting denied. The reason the Irish Domain Registry (IEDR) gives him is "the proposed domain name must not be offensive or contrary to public policy or generally accepted principles of morality."

Right. Because there is nothing offensive on the Internet.

Anyway, the domain registry organization has no say over the content of the domains, just the names of them. So what they're declaring offensive here are two synonymous nouns. Your man tested this by registering "orn.ie" and then providing pornographic content at "p.orn.ie," which was not deemed objectionable by the IEDR.

The pornographer in question thought it was so absurd that those words were deemed offensive that he took the IEDR to court.

At first, the IEDR denied any knowledge of these domain names being refused. When proof was produced, they responded with mentions of child pornography, but generally didn't seem interested in discussing the matter. Nonetheless, the pornographer lost the case.

They found that the words "pornography" and "porn" were not in themselves offensive, however:

Both Parties recognise that the Respondent is a body carrying out functions of a public nature, and is the only body that administers the public resource that is the .ie Internet domain. It would appear therefore that there is no other candidate for the role of arbiter of public policy in respect of the .ie domain space except the Respondent itself.

For reasons given above, in the absence of any other source of public policy and while the logic may appear cyclical, the public policy that this tribunal must apply is the policy of the Respondent. It would not be appropriate for this Appeal tribunal to take upon itself the role of arbiter of public policy.

It follows that this tribunal must also conclude that the registration of either or would be contrary to the public policy governing the .ie domain space as found in the Respondent’s policies.

In short, the IEDR are the law when it comes to domain names, and what they say goes. The denied pornographer ends his posting on sex.ie (which apparently is OK with the IEDR) with this: "Who says Catholic Ireland is dead?"

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Coke Ad Offends the Entire Country of Sweden

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 19:33:00 GMT

Maybe we're being extra sensitive coming off the Bust Party last night, but sexism is definitely making a comeback on this Friday afternoon.

First, there was the 6 Tips on Cheating With Multiple Girlfriends list link. Then comes word that Sweden-- as a whole-- is fed up with Coca-Cola's sexist ads. We wish they would take on all sexist advertising while they're at it...

Here's the ad that has the country in an uproar:

According to the Local, Sweden's must-read (online!) newspaper, ad agency watchdogs in the great European nation have attacked Coke for treating women as "purely sex objects."

But what offended the person who filed the complaint was the fact that, if a number of questions posed on the website are answered in a certain way, the woman is suddenly standing near a bed wearing only a bra and panties.

While Coca-Cola chose not to comment on that specific aspect of the internet ad campaign, it explained that the website was supposed to create an image of how life should be.

So, Coke thinks life should involve stripper harems, dishonest breakups, superficial relationships, and "diet" soda that tastes like pond water? Oh, and did Coke happen to see this post, which we linked to this morning? Wonder what they think of that kind of "life."

Via the Local.

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While You Were Sleeping: Barack Obama In Big Trouble

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:04:00 GMT

Scanners Brian, Emily, and Colleen were at the Bust Party at SXSW last night, during which Dinosaur, Jr. made a surprise appearance. Needless to say, blogging will be slow this morning, with more activity later on...

The man himself-- Bruce Springsteen-- did The Daily Show.

This guy didn't realize everyone on the train he was supposed to be operating could see his penis.

Unfortunately, most of the spectators probably enjoyed this "catfight," in which boobs were bared.

We missed out on the news that PETA celebrated St. Patrick's Day in their own special way.

We heard about the topless bar in Austin that was busted for featuring a sixteen-year-old girl.

Seth Rogen calls his own back hair "glorious."

Barack Obama needs to stop making jokes. About anyone and anything-- it's making him sound more out of touch than Al Gore.

And right-wing crazies at WorldNet Daily believe teens are drinking poison to induce abortions. What do you think?

Apparently We Were Supposed to Be Upset By This Poster

Emily Farris — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:51:00 GMT

Remember this poster—a recreation of a Joan Baez poster from the 60's—we posted yesterday? Well, we thought it was all in good fun, but apparently it's pissed off quite a few female bloggers, including some of our old friends.

Over at Salon the women of Broadsheet had a heated discussion.

Rebecca Traistor despises the poster, and says that "the idea of any kind of political action is being taken to impress the opposite sex — or that guys would only vote a certain way if a woman promised sex at the end (that's also totally the only way you get them to pay for dinner, incidentally) — sort of makes me want to drown myself."

While we get where Traistor is coming from, we can't imagine anyone would actually vote a certain way just to impress the opposite sex. And if he did, we surely wouldn't have sex with him—we're not attracted to men who aren't passionate about their own politics.

Sarah Hepola, formerly Salon Sarah, seems to be somewhere between us, and Traistor, but still dislikes it:

"It doesn't bother me as much, but it's kind of gross. Are the women in this photo going to say yes to every boy who says Obama? Because if so, they are going to be very, very tired. And sore!

Considering this poster was made, according to Bust, by 'a couple cheeky ladies in Brooklyn" —where I (and Rebecca and Judy! [and Scanner Emily]) proudly live -- I would suggest it should be tweaked to read, 'Girls say yes to boys who say Obama and also wear skinny jeans and have scruffy hair and buy me Stella Artois while I crochet an adorable bong cozy.'"

So, so right, Scanner Sarah. But of all the things to get pissed off in the world, this poster isn't one of them. We don't have the energy (you know, especially since we're only halfway through the Democratic men in Brooklyn).

What do you think? Good fun or highly offensive?

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Top 5 Most Offensive Commericals We Can Think Of At The Moment

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:04:00 GMT

We've been so busy renting DVDs from a certain mail order/internet service that we haven't watched television, certainly not television with commercial interruption, for what seems like years now. So it's a very jarring experience to go over Scanner Emily's house, eat casseroles, and watch something from the modern era called The Biggest Loser and stare in mute agony at the barrage of filth and garbage that gets thrown back in our faces. By the advertisers, of course.

This got us thinking about how grateful we are not to see commericals, especially this atrocious fivesome, ever again. Here are five television ads someone hopefully got fired over...

5. "Racist" McDonald's African-themed commercial. 'Nuff said.

4. When the guy gets out of the car in the beginning of this Credit MacDaddy commercial, we were deathly afraid it would be a zombified Rick James.

3. Forget whether the makers and signer-offers of this ad should be fired, they should downright be imprisoned for exploiting our veterans for monetary gain. It's so bad, it'll almost make you forget about the Republican Party's exploitation of 9/11 victims for political gain... naw, not really...

2. This one's just probably offensive to our intelligence. Although we don't even want to think about the possible number of people who actually trusted that guy with their money.

1. The top ad here (Senator Chambliss' ad against then-incumbet Democratic Senator and Vietnam Vet Max Cleland), which famously linked a man who lost limbs for his country to Osama Bin Laden (and succeeded in defeating that man), is easily the most offensive commercial in human history. Here's a bonus... a commercial that's either a) extremely offensive or b) not offensive at all, depending on your point of view. Just staying neutral on this one, we have to admit it's hard to explain why this might be offensive. Maybe it's that it's not effective... or that it turns domestic violence into a Hollywood action sequence... or that it's just plain terrible and a waste of money better spent actually helping victims of spousal abuse.

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Scanner Highs And Lows: But If You Are In The Mood...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 22:02:00 GMT

...maybe your sex drive isn't as high as it should be. Maybe you're burnt out from fantasizing about lingerie models. Or maybe you've just been mauled by a crazed grizzly bear.

In any case, you need some refreshment...

Highs:

CNN solved that sex drive problem, ladies. Sort of.

The Daily Show's five sexiest clips turned us on, for sure.

Anne Hathaway, as viewed from the side, caused total computer hardware failure. From drooling on the keyboard.

At least she didn't pick herself: Naomi Campbell named the last true supermodel, and we have to agree with her on the sexiness factor.

Lows:

Snickers didn't bring on a bout of the chuckles.

Ashley Alexandra Durpe couldn't seem to keep it in her pants. We mean... never mind.

Viewed from a distance, Brad Pitt is a) just as sexy or b) a lousy father?

The man eating bears had nothing to do with sex, but they, um, scared the pants off us. Does that count?

The 9/11 thing... got us hot and bothered? Nice try, but not really... mainly just bothered.

There's a 17-year-old girl stripping in Iowa. 17: not acceptable. 18: here's a dollar for your humiliation.

If engaging in fellatio this weekend, take this girl's advice: "Do Not Swallow!"

Obama Tells His Staff Not To Go Green

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:20:00 GMT

Barack Obama warned his staff not to wear green clothing if accompanying him on his current trip to the Middle East. And it's not because he's mad Al Gore won't be his Vice President...

An Obama aide explained to reporters that green is the color associated with the militant Palestinian group Hamas. But while the color does appear on Hamas banners, there is no particular symbolism to wearing green clothes, experts said.

Moreover, green is more generally seen as a symbol of Islam.

Many people believe this has less to do with Hamas than with discredited smears perpetuated by Obama's detractors that he is a practicing Muslim. Obama's campaign, like many Democrats, is choosing to bend over backwards to make sure their enemies have no ammunition rather than fight the lies.

“I’ve been to the Middle East with Secretaries of State and on my own, and I’ve never heard of anything like that,” said New York Sun national security reporter Eli Lake.

Hamas, the group that controls the Gaza Strip, flies a green flag, as do some other Islamist groups. But the color appears on a vast array of official symbols, including the Saudi flag. Jordan’s Queen Rania al-Abdullah has been pictured in green outfits. [Politico]

In other news from the campaign trail, the Republican candidate himself is giving the Democrats plenty of ammo to "smear" him with in some sort of hackneyed attempt at redirecting the media's attention toward him. Today it was reported that McCain referred to an "Iraq-Pakistan border," which does not exist. (He meant "Afghanistan," not Iraq.)

Just in the past three weeks, McCain has also mistaken "Somalia" for "Sudan," and even football’s Green Bay Packers for the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Ironically, the errors have been concentrated in what should be his area of expertise: foreign affairs.

The McCain campaign says Obama has had plenty of flubs of his own, including a reference to "57 states" and a string of misstated place names during the primaries that Republicans gleefully sent around as YouTube links.

Via Politico.

The Wit and Wisdom of John McCain

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 19:01:00 GMT

Your Friday funnies... a look back at the funniest things John McCain has ever said:

Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno. [1998]
"The nice thing about Alzheimer's is you get to hide your own Easter eggs." [1999]
"Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, ‘Where is that marvelous ape?'" [1986]
"The French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it," McCain told Fox News a few years ago.
...he — in jest — referred to a young man who asked about his age as "you little jerk," before telling him, "You're drafted." [2008]
McCain was also recently condemned by the government of Iran for suggesting that increasing U.S. cigarette sales to Iran could be "a way of killing 'em." [2008]
[Charlie Crist, on how much persistent McCain was] “Well, not that much,” Crist began answering. “It was just waterboarding,” McCain interjected. [2008]

Did we miss any? Well, no matter what, this guy has better comic timing than Bush... or Barack Obama. We're just not certain he's helping his campaign by weilding it...

Via Politico and various other sources.

Heinz Commercial Furor Proves The UK Can Be Just As Bigoted

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:08:00 GMT

The above photo is a screengrab (via the Daily Mail) from a Heinz commercial that recently ran in the UK during the day. The controversy, as you can see, is obvious... but there's more...

The ad opens with two children, a boy and a girl, readying for school:

They refer to a man making sandwiches in the kitchen as 'mum'.
He is dressed like a delicatessen worker and has a New York accent.
Their father enters the kitchen, grabs a sandwich and says to the man: 'See you tonight, love'.
The 'mum' then shouts back 'Hey, ain't you forgetting something', before the two men kiss.
'Mum' then tells him: 'Love you. Straight home from work sweetcheeks.'
It finishes with the slogan: 'Heinz Deli Mayo – Mayo with a New York Deli flavour.'

Just so you UK people know: gay marriages aren't legal in New York either. Or are we missing the point?

Anyway, the ad received hundreds of complaints before being pulled. Heinz, of course, stood up to the pressure and defended gay people in a heroic press conference speech:

Nigel Dickie, of Heinz UK, said: 'It is our policy to listen to consumers. We recognise that some consumers raised concerns over the content of the ad and this prompted our decision to withdraw it. The advertisement, part of a short-run campaign, was intended to be humorous and we apologise to anyone who felt offended.'

It's perhaps gays who might be offended by Mr. Dickie (no jokes, please)-- after all, they're the ones being insulted, judging by the complaints quoted by the Daily Mail, and by the ad, which sounds pretty dumb on paper, for starters...

Should Christian Science Monitor Be Fed To The Lions?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:21:00 GMT

Forgive the controversy-baiting title: it really is necessary to draw your attention to the most offensive article written this year in the English language.

The article, written under the name Shireen K. Burki for the always suspect Christian Science Monitor (hell, that's almost a triple negative), is so ghastly, so offensive, wrong, and off-base in its attacks on Barack Obama, that not only will Hillary supporters be outraged, McCain himself might end up weighing in on it... if he can locate his missing moral compass, that is...

Have you eaten today? Then don't read this excerpt:

Osama bin Laden must be chuckling in his safe house. After all, the 2008 campaign could very well give Al Qaeda the ultimate propaganda tool: President Barack Hussein Obama, Muslim apostate.
The fact that Senator Obama – the son of a Muslim father – insists he was never a Muslim before becoming Christian is irrelevant to bin Laden. In bin Laden's eyes, Obama is a murtad fitri, the worst type of apostate, because he was blessed by Allah to be born into the true faith of Islam.

We tried to stop reading-- but we were pretty sure this was weak satire that would get better over time. After all, doesn't someone have to actually believe in the religion they are born into to become an apostate? It's not converting, it's joining when one decides one would live to become a Christian, as his mother was. But that's obviously less objectionable than the rest of this complete nonsense:

According to Islamic jurisprudence, children of a Muslim father – even an apparently nonpracticing one, such as Obama's father, and irrespective of the mother's faith – are automatically Muslims. Most Muslims around the world agree: A child of a Muslim father is a Muslim. Period.

And I bet if you ask Christians around the world if, because Obama's mother was a Christian, he is automatically a Christian, they would agree: a child of a Christian mother is a Christian. Period.

People: how clear do we have to make this? Calling Obama a Muslim is a fear tactic, not the least because it's untrue but because its only purpose is to connect him to Bin Laden, which is disgusting, wrong, immoral, untrue, and pathetic. We stopped reading after the above paragraph because we don't need to hear anything further-- these people will contradict themselves and prove to be awful hypocrites and no one will call them out on it. "Obama's pastor is un-American!" and "Obama is a Muslim in disguise!" are statements that prove, if nothing else, at least one is automatically untrue-- after all, as the Christian Science Monitor proves, you can't have two religions... or change your mind about one.

Shireen K. Burki [who writes only to help incite religious warfare -Ed.] is an adjunct professor of political science at the University of Mary Washington, in Fredericksburg, Va. The daughter of a Muslim father and a Christian mother, she spent her childhood in Islamabad, Pakistan, where she studied Islam at school. [Christian Science Monitor]

You can tell her what you think of her at this e-mail.

Against Your Wil (Wheaton)

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 09 May 2008 21:00:00 GMT

Did you guys know that Wil Wheaton has a groovy and unsurprisingly well-written blog? (Full disclosure: Stand By Me is the greatest movie ever made.) Many people of all sorts of unknown backgrounds are aware of and have read this excellent blog. However, Wil Wheaton has made a grand faux pas that his readers may never forgive: reiterating some nasty rumors about Hillary Clinton.

From the WWdN blog (What Would Will Wheaton do? No, that's not right):

At times like these, when it would be easy to despair, I find comfort in humor, like this post I saw on Reddit this morning: Hillary Clinton: The Psycho Ex-Girlfriend of the Democratic Party.

Mr. Wheaton found this salacious gossip funny?! We frankly did not. No, we were too disturbed by the possibility that we might actually agree with this name-calling to laugh. Perhaps we might actually read this nastiness to find out what was so horrifying that Wil Wheatonites had to write him politely-worded hate mail?

It's 2:31 AM. The Democratic Party is sleeping peacefully when it hears its phone buzz on the night stand. It rolls over and sees "Hillary" on the caller ID. It pauses briefly, considering pushing "END" and not dealing with this shit tonight. The thought is appealing but the Democratic Party knows that if it doesn't take this call, another one is only minutes away.

DEMS: ...Hello?

Hillary: Hey baby.

DEMS: C'mon Hillary. Enough with this.

Hillary: Don't you get it? You NEED me.

DEMS: No, I don't. It was fun while it lasted but I'm with Barack now. I made my choice, it's done.

Hillary: You can't really mean that. How can you say that after all the good times we had?

DEMS: To be honest, I started hanging out with you because Bill's pretty awesome.

Hillary: But I'm just like Bill!

DEMS: No, you're not. Bill is charismatic, inspiring, and gets me really good weed.

Hillary: Fuck you. You're elitist!

DEMS: I'm going back to sleep.

Talk about a low blow... after all, this woman is going to President, as of January 2013, so we better be nice to her now... okay?

As for Wil, he appears to have triumphed and moved on to posting about Seattle Comic Cons, so we're not too worried about him... in fact, this post's orginal and completely tasteless title was to be "Triumph of the Wil." Too much?

Via Wil Wheaton's blog, WWdN: In Exile.

Photo courtesy of Austin's Alamo Drafthouse.

Let's Not Go to Prison

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 18:33:00 GMT

Tonight is Bush's final State of the Union address, thank God. The Democratic response will be given by Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sibelius, who can't be too happy about having her Obama-at-the-convention moment ruined by her own son, who just announced the release of a board game called "Don't Drop the Soap." The game is as hilariously offensive as it should be.

According to the AP, John Sibelius is the 23 year old son of the conservative Kansas Governor, who may be one of the best looking old ladies in politics today. But that's beside the point. Check out the insanity:

"Fight your way through 6 different exciting locations in hopes of being granted parole. Escape prison riots in The Yard, slip glass into a mob boss' lasagna in the Cafeteria, steal painkillers from the nurse's desk in the Infirmary, avoid being cornered by the Aryans in the Shower Room, fight off Latin Kings in Gang War, and try not to smoke your entire stash in The Hole."

That's from the Rhode Island School of Design student's website, which says the launch date is this Thursday. Until then, we'll have to make do with classic "satire," like this line from the Associated Press:

"The site describes 'Don't Drop the Soap' as a game 'Where no one playing enters through the front door!'"

The best part of all? This is actually allegedly a class project for RISD. How long do you think before that school gets a thrashing in the press like Bob Jones University? Anyway, buy the ultra-overpriced board game here.

Scanner : offensive

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Top 5 Most Offensive Commericals We Can Think Of At The Moment

What Do You See Between Her...?

Love It Or Hate It? Obama in 30 Seconds [autoplay video]

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Scanner Highs And Lows: But If You Are In The Mood...

Obama Tells His Staff Not To Go Green

The Wit and Wisdom of John McCain

Heinz Commercial Furor Proves The UK Can Be Just As Bigoted

Should Christian Science Monitor Be Fed To The Lions?

Against Your Wil (Wheaton)

Let's Not Go to Prison