Scanner : nipples

New Bra Makes Your Boobs Look Bigger When You’re Turned On

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 15 May 2009 14:34:00 GMT

A new bra being sold overseas claims that, thanks to memory foam and natural sweat, it can boost your bosom when you're getting in the mood.

As if you needed another reason for men to stare at your breasts...

The bra, being sold this summer in the range of 25 English pounds, is the work of the Lisca lingerie company, out of Slovenia. (They're apparently the largest manufacturer in Eastern Europe and once used Donald Trump's latest wife as their spokesmodel-- if that helps you decide.)

The magic bra detects changes in body temperature brought on by sexual arousement and squeezes boobs together to create a bigger cleavage.

They are also able to automatically adapt to different temperatures to provide women with the perfect fit no matter how nippy it gets.

Special expanding foam in the cups will loosen or tighten to adapt to the size of the wearer’s breasts as they get hotter.

“It’s healthier than an ordinary bra because it will always provide the perfect fit,” said a company spokesman.

While we find it hard to believe women will see the need to accentuate their cleavage at specific intervals, the comfort factor has got to be pretty high with these things, no?

Via the Sun.

Related:

Ashley Olsen Takes Off Men's Clothes to Sell Them

Ginnifer Goodwin Talks Veganism, Wears Leather for "W"

Sloppy Seconds: No Bullet-Proof Bras For You

PA DA Threatening to Jail 11-Year-Olds For Sexting

PapSmeared: Kelly Osbourne's Fiance is a Tad Bit Nipply

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:34:00 GMT

[Image]

Bai Ling Trying To Make Mickey Rourke Regret Dumping Her

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:12:00 GMT

Today's Gawker and an edition of the New York Post are excited to report on superstar genius man-actor Mickey Rourke's revived love life. First, they point out, Mickey fended off Bai Ling, going stag to the Oscars, and now faces rumors that a Russian model is trying to use him for fame.

Both sources claim an unnamed "pop star/model" is leaking gossip to Russia's tabloids about her plans to marry the actor. Yeah, and I'd like to announce my engagement to Anne Hathaway, while we're at it.

Meanwhile, Bai Ling is doing some leaking of her own-- namely, these nude photos-- in an attempt to rebound from Rourke.

And the classics that captured his imagination in the first place...

Click the photos for the larger image.

Related:

Caption This: Perv Photogs And Bai Ling's Nipple Slip

Top 5 Threesome Sex Scenes

The Best Job in the World? Carnival Body Painters

Caption This: Agyness Deyn And Her Friend's See-Through

Top 10 TV Nipple Slips and Wardrobe Malfunctions

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:59:00 GMT

You know, because Janet Jackson wasn't the first one to lose her outfit live on national television...

It's difficult to imagine, we know, but even game shows in the 60s and 70s were famous for nipple slips. Luckily, YouTube, Google Video and other online sources have managed to salvage some of the most memorable moments. They're all pretty much two seconds long, but this will make you a better future Trivial Pursuit contestant... since you know that's all that we're going to talk about in 20 years, the way our Idiocracy is going.

Here are ten in no particular order...

Ron Jeremy's High School Play Video Leaked!

Tara Reid Wishes She Was Actually Listening To What The Little People Were Yelling About

Jennifer Hawkins (the 2004 Miss Universe) Returns to Australia to Moon Her Hometown

The Match Game (okay, this is more of a "nipple slip" of the tongue, but hey... break it up a bit, ya know)

Eva Mendes Was Really Asking For It This Time

N Is For Nipples - TV Show Host Flashes Kids

Haven't Seen This Janet Jackson Nip Slip Before... Is It New?

They Let the Wrestlers Beat Up the Refs, But An Ass And Nipple Slip Is An Ejection?!

As Bob Barker Says, "She came on down and they came on out!" [sfw]

And finally, Meredith Viera pulls a Justin Timberlake on Helen Mirren:

Related:

Top 5 "The Price Is Right" Clips

Beyonce Stuns Lone Oscar Viewer With Nipple Slip

Nipplegate II: The Russian Skater Shocker

Mischa Barton Can't Keep Her Clothes On

Caption This: Agyness Deyn And Her Friend's See-Through

New Female Railway Uniforms Are A Tid Bit Nipply

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 21:12:00 GMT

The Sun took a peek at the controversial new female uniform for National Express's East Coast line in England, where people still ride trains because they're cool. What they found will shock you... especially if the uniform turns out to look anything like this...

The Daily Mail has a more believable story, one that doesn't, um, describe the uniform as well as the above photo, but comes mighty close to giving credence to the unreliable Sun:

Women railway workers are refusing to wear new uniforms because they are too see-through, it was revealed today.
Female staff on National Express's East Coast line between London and Edinburgh said the new blouses were too thin and 'left little to the imagination' of passengers.
The Transport Salaried Staffs Association said its members had sent the blouses back to the company and demanded new ones which were not see-through.

With the way the world is turning, it's possible we'll see nude Hooters servers and shirtless Chippendale's parking valets any day now...

Via the Daily Mail.

Related:

Your Daily Dose of Sexism...

Not All Swedes Are Hot

Australians Fight Back Against Potential Topless Sunbathing Ban

Boy Suspended From School For Having Sex... Guess What Happened to His Partner?

Top 10 Sexiest Album Covers of All Time

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 20:57:00 GMT

10. Herb Alpert's Tijuana Brass - Whipped Cream & Other Delights. The other delights, unfortunately, are mainly covered up by the whipped cream, but this is still vintage goodness.

9. Betty Davis - They Say I'm Different. The woman once married to Miles (hence how she got the movie star-esque name) has two of the sexiest album covers ever. We can't explain why we love our #9 choice... or why we chose it over her possibly sexier "Nasty-Gal" photo...

8. The Pixies - Surfer Rosa. We've listened to this album about 300 times and we still don't know who Surfer Rosa is or why Kim Deal gets upset when Black Francis yells "you fucking die." But yeah, gotta love the field-hockey-players-and-the-coach sex scandal story. Oh, and the cover ain't bad either... and those catchy tunes... and... and...

7. Shakira - Oral Fixation. With a title like that, you'd think Shakira wants to be treated like a sex object-- but look, there's a baby! And this sluttastic photo is playfully Biblical, so you know she's a good Catholic girl. Right?

6. Blondie - Parallel Lines. For Halloween one year, we had a girl dress as Debbie Harry and we joined her in the easy-as-hell hipster uniform worn by the guys in this photo-- and damn it if we weren't sexy as all hell. The other night, we saw Debbie Harry play a fundraiser with a local high school band, doing bizarre and funky versions of "Heart of Glass" and other classics from that album. (We had a boner both nights.) Mainly, this cover is incredibly sexy thanks to the dudes with their shit-eating grins realizing how lucky they are to even be associated with a knockout like Debbie Harry, who makes this one helluva photo with that scowl contrasting their gleeful faces.

(Trivia: what future famous person picked Debbie Harry up in his car one night when she was walking home from waitressing at Max's Kansas City. Hint: he was a creep and she jumped out of the car at the next red light. Answer: Ted Bundy.)

5. The Strokes - Is This It? One could make about a dozen jokes about this album and its cover ("Heh heh... I bet they like to "Stroke" it to their own cover..." or "Is this it? Indeed, how come the album isn't as good as the cover?" for starters.) We'll just mention that whimpy Americans don't even have this picture on their 2001 records because it was deemed "too risque." So was the song New York City Cops-- but that's understandable, given 9/11 occurred just before the record's initially-planned release date.

4. Pulp - This Is Hardcore. A record with only one good song ("Like A Friend," and it isn't even the best of the two released versions)-- hey at least the cover makes for good wallpaper.

3. Ween - Chocolate and Cheese. Personally, we prefer the cover where they parody Leonard Cohen's Best of album using the Elephant Man, but these boobs are pretty sensational. Speaking of sensational, get a load of that belt! We might even wear that thing if it came our way...

2. The Cars - Candy-O. We're pretty sure this ain't no real woman, but for you anime freaks out there, this is one to get your keyboards sticky over. Ew, ew, ew-- pretend we didn't even say that. By the way, for some unimaginable reason, girls tend to get in the mood when The Cars come on the radio-- even if the song is "Let the Good Times Roll." FYI, dudes.

1. Roxy Music - Country Life. Their first US top 40 record (it went Top 5 in Britain), Roxy Music's Country Life is an obvious choice for #1 because of the near-nudity factor. (Of course, there are dozens of possible candidates for this list that have nudity in their covers, but they simply weren't as hot. Maybe for our Part Two someday...) Here's what Wikipedia has to tell us about this glorious photo:

The cover features two scantily-clad models, Constanze Karoli... and Eveline Grunwald. Bryan Ferry met them in Portugal and persuaded them to do the photo shoot as well as to help him with the words to the song "Bitter-Sweet". Although not credited for their photos they are credited on the lyric sheet for their German translation work.

The cover image was considered controversial in some countries such as the United States, Spain, and The Netherlands, where it was censored for release. As a result, a later American LP release of Country Life (available during the years 1975-80) featured a different cover shot. Instead of Karoli and Grunwald posed in front of some trees, the reissue used a photo from the album's back cover that featured only the trees.^.Author Michael Ochs has described the result as the "most complete cover-up in rock history." [Wikipedia]

Honorable Mentions: Jane's Addiction - Nothing's Shocking; Jennifer Lopez - On the 6; and one of the Slunt records. Suggestions are welcome for a follow-up list...

Related:

Life Imitates Art, Minus the Thong

Amazon Giving Away Lots of Great mp3's

Top 10 Bands That Twitter

Today is the Day the Music Died

Tucson Gets the Shaft-- Literally-- During the Super Bowl

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:53:00 GMT

Talk about adding insult to injury. Not only were Arizona Cardinals fans distraught over the last minute victory of their rivals, the Pittsburgh Steelers, they also had to contend with a sudden interruption in Comcast's service right after the big touchdown.

But it's not the interruption itself that had people so pissed off-- it's what they interrupted the game for...

Just after the Cardinals scored their go-ahead touchdown, Comcast subscribers in the Tucson area had a moment that makes us forget all about boring ol' Nipplegate. Check it out:

Then all of a sudden, the screen freezes up... and this is what we see:

This porn movie features a big dick that's taking forever to come out of this star's pants. We'll spare you the peen, which flops around on screen...

Top Photo: Barton Silverman/NY Times.

Today in WTF: Seductive Farting

Venus and Serena Williams Pretend Not to Enjoy Happy Streaker

Top 5 Salma Hayek Sex Scenes

Nipplegate II: The Russian Skater Shocker

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:26:00 GMT

Ekaterina Rubleva, a Russian figure skater, was competing in Helsinki, Finland the other day when her single-strap dress caused a Janet Jackson moment on national television.

But unlike the Jackson/Timberlake scandal, this was an unintentional consequence of a skimpy dress. (Although, if you think about it, what the hell was Rubleva thinking wearing a dress like that while whirrling all over the ice? No wonder it slipped.) Best part of all, no one was embarrassed by this, including Finnish conservatives and Rubleva herself, who merely smiles and shakes her head when the dance is completed.

Here's a video of their routine-- key moments come around 1:45 and 4:20.

Top via this link; bottom photo via this link.

Related:

We Nominate... Marisa Tomei For Best Supporting Nipple Rings

Top 5 Sex Scenes From Action Movies

Sloppy Seconds: Keep Yer Areolae Off My Facebook, Mmmkay?

Eva Mendes to America: Take Your Nip Slip Censorship and Shove It

We Nominate... Marisa Tomei For Best Supporting Nipple Rings

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:31:00 GMT

It doesn't seem that long ago that Marisa Tomei's career was made and simultaneously ruined by her winning a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for My Cousin Vinny. We saw "ruined" because the backlash began before she even took the stage-- with many saying Jack Palance had read the wrong name and many more claiming Tomei didn't deserve it either way, since her performance and role were "slight."

While these are, we have to admit, not entirely unfair (the fact that Judy Davis did not win unanimously is one of the great snubs of all time), they should not have stuck with Tomei for so long. Witness her brutal and affecting performance in 2007's violent caper film Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Plus, her inspired comic turn in The Slums of Beverly Hills and other indie films of note.

If it takes these uncensored topless scenes from The Wrestler to restore her standing among Hollywood's finest actors, so be it...

Marisa Tomei NUDE Stripper Performance in 'The Wrestler'

Did you catch how the was able to express her character's unhappiness in very subtle ways in that one on-stage strip scene (the one where Mickey Rourke hands her a piece of paper at the end)? That's true acting-- we can't even see her face for most of the take, yet we can sense her misery just in her back and arms...

By the way, if you haven't seen The Wrestler-- go check it out immediately or demand your local theater get a print pronto.

Related:

Golden Globes Best Dressed: How J-Lo's Ass Finally Won Us Over

And the Critics Choice Award Goes To...

Top 5 Sex Scenes From... 2007

Hot or Not: Marisa Tomei in The Wrestler

Sloppy Seconds: More Sex and the City?

Emily Farris — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 23:53:00 GMT

Ada Calhoun, from our not so slutty sister site Babble, weighs in on Facebook's nipple ban. [TIME]

We're usually all about Kelly Clarkson's girl power lyrics, but not so much with her new single "My Life Would Suck Without You." [FadedYouth]

Speaking of girl power, did you know it's Women's Self-Empowerment Week? And do we really need a Women's Self-Empowerment Week? [Jezebel]

Jennifer Love Hewitt is back on the market, in case you're interested. (We're guessing you're not). [People]

Steve Jobs is not dying. He will continue to over-charge us for upgrades, monitors not covered under warranty and warranties. [Yahoo!]

Rich, happy, healthy Gwyneth Paltrow shares her secrets for shedding those pesky holiday pounds: just cut out meat, dairy, fat, potatoes, tomatoes, sugar, alcohol and caffeine. Easy! [Us]

Crazy lady and and Sex and the City stylist Patricia Field is starting a rumor: that there will be a Sex and the City: The Movie sequel. Are you excited? We are. Shut up. [MTV]

PapSmeared: Britney Left Her Bra in 2008, Picked Up a Shirt From 1997

Emily Farris — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:28:00 GMT

[Image]

No Legal Remedies for "Upskirting" and "Downblousing"

Scanner Matt — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 18:37:00 GMT

Technology definitely progresses faster than the law and the perves are taking advantage of the loop holes. Snapping a picture with a cell phone up a woman's skirt ("upskirting" ) or down her blouse ("downblousing") has become a world craze. Japan now requires cellphone cameras to come with a shutter sound to announce a picture is being taken.

Salon reports:

A keyword search for "upskirt" on the photo-sharing site Flickr turns up 36,368 hits. One user has taken 48 candid shots of women's stockinged rears walking up stairs in the Paris Metro subway station. The vast majority of these photos, however, are not upskirts at all, but close-ups of women's body parts taken in public places like the subway, parks and street corners. Some Flickr members specialize in these types of shots, many with a particular area of expertise: breasts, bums, nipple slips, whale tails (the top of a thong peeking over the waist of a woman's pants), camel toes, legs or feet. Amazingly, one user has amassed 1,455 photos of disembodied, hastily framed shots taken with a cellphone camera of various body parts -- feet, breasts, butt and legs -- that could belong to any woman, really.

This is creepy and unsettling stuff that has yet to be resolved by U. S. lawmakers.

The question of where to draw a line between artistic street photography and fetishistic candids that reduce a woman to her toe cleavage is like that ever-unreliable definition of pornography: I know it when I see it. John Morris, general counsel for the Center for Democracy & Technology, puts the reality simply: "If you don't want to be photographed walking the street, don't walk down the street -- it's a public street."

It's a tough issue to define while respecting art and first amendment rights, but seriously, they can't figure out a better way to defend the privacy of an individual than, "don't walk down the street... " What are we, in Saudi Arabia?

In the meantime, watch out for the new cellphone sex operators.

Related:

Don't Ever Lose Your Cell Phone At A McDonald's

Woman Busted For Videotaping Her Underage Sex Crime

Today in WTF: Guy Gets Off (For/On) Getting 14-Year-Old Girl Drunk, Violating Her

Photo/Salon

Eva Mendes to America: Take Your Nip Slip Censorship and Shove It

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 15:31:00 GMT

Eva Mendes opened up about her too-hot-for-TV Calvin Klein ad, and told Vogue what the rest of us already knew: we're a country of uptight prudes.

"I love my country, but I believe that we are too quick to censor nudity," the actress, 34, tells the Spanish edition of Vogue in its November issue. "We seem okay with violence, but nudity we race to criticize and censor. I'm not at all ashamed or frightened about showing my body."

Amen, Eva. But even People can only handle that much, because once that nudity business is out of the way, what could have been a good article about sexiness and censorship turned into yet another mass market article on trying too hard. Apparently, the rest of us should be ashamed or frightened of showing our bodies if we don't look like Mendes.

The secret to her sexy shape? Simple: Diet and exercise. "I try not to go crazy, but yes, I pay attention to what I eat," she says. (Since her stint in rehab earlier this year, Mendes has been outspoken about taking care of herself.) "I try to stay away from pasta, bread, cakes, sweets, cookies and ice cream."

If you're not sexy, whatever you do, don't let the real you show; apparently it's "less sexy."

The actress – currently starring in The Women – also touches on a rather less sexy aspect of herself. Asked about her Latin temperament, she says: "I don't usually lose my temper, but if I get angry, it's true – I'm scary. I scare my boyfriend!"

We actually know plenty of men (and women) who would disagree that the "Latin temperament" is "less sexy."

Anyway, here's that commercial again in case you missed it the first few times we posted it:

[People: Eva Mendes Loves Being 'Sexy']

[Scanner: 'People' Loves Putting 'Sexy' in Quotes... As If It's a Dirty Word]

Related:

Eva Mendes: Too Hot For TV, Way Too Hot For Work

What Kind Of God In Heaven Lets A Topless Eva Mendes Photoshoot Go This Wrong?

Eva Mendes Calvin Klein Photos Almost As Good As Having Friday Off

Sloppy Seconds: Eva Mendes' New Underwear Modeling Gig

Eva Mendes Would Rather Go Naked

[Image]

Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which We Narrowly Avoided Getting Sunburned Nipples

Emily Farris — Fri, 19 Sep 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Don't worry. No nipples were harmed in the compiling of this list...

Highs:

We grew quite fond of Diablo Cody.

We crushed hard. Which reminded us of a hard fall.

We obsessed over an old flame.

We learned our Sarah Palin baby name.

Something we already knew was confirmed for us.

We learned how to stop manboobs before they happen.

We decided once and for all we're perfectly fine with our pasty, white skin.

Lows:

We saw some nipples we don't care much about.

We watched Kim Kardashian's sex tape.

Who knew a simple blog post could give us the heebeegeebees? No really.

We wondered if the secret to keeping a man is to get the same hairstyle he has?

We decided we'll never wear pink again.

Y'all got your panties in an uproar over something we re-posted in jest (and obviously don't endorse) Talk about shooting the messenger.

Caption This: Perv Photogs And Bai Ling's Nipple Slip

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:10:00 GMT

Bai Ling was recently voted the world's Worst Dressed Celebrity in a poll of over one million blog readers.

Now, to add insult to, well, insult... there's this...

[NSFW ahead]

Last month, Ling was promoting one of her many, many movies (for starters, she has ten movies listed on IMDB as in "post-production") when she made the unfortunate mistake of bending over in such a loose-fitting dress...

This just isn't her year. Did you know that back on Valentine's Day this year, a distraught Ling was arrested at LAX for the crime of wandering out of a shop with a pack of batteries and a couple magazines? Luckily, she was able to plead to disturbing the peace and escaped with a small fine...

...but man, this girl needs a break. Then again, if you can shock a papparazzi just with the size of your nipples, maybe that's a good thing. (We're big fans of freaking out, pissing off, or generally driving these people insane... in case you haven't noticed.)

It should be noted we're pulling out this old pic because a) if we'd known about it, we'd have used it a month ago and b) we first started out telling you about Hayden Panettiere's nipple slip, which we realized is total bullshit:

See why we hate papparazzi? Not only are you invading someone's privacy on their 19th birthday, but you're taking a picture of their nipple and you don't even do a good job of it...

Via She So Crazy and 2Snaps.

Who is Katie Price and Why is Her Nipple All the Way Over There?

Amy Winehouse's Nipple Slip

What Happens to Julia Allison's Nipple Does Not Stay in Vegas

Sloppy Seconds: Is Valentine's Day Over Yet?

Why Hayden And I Broke Up: A Scanner Confession

Sloppy Seconds: The Stunning Conclusion To The Pimp Minister's Trial

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 21:27:00 GMT

The most powerful story you'll read all day is here.

A-Rod: By the way, I don't owe you anything! Except millions, of course.

Jennifer Aniston's assistant tried to stop stalkographers from snapping photos of her boss' nipples. Or so The Superficial wishes. (In any case, there are very see-through Rihanna photos as well.)

Recently-resurfaced Beatles tapes are up for auction. Bootleg 'em for us, will ya?

A nuclear facility in California, under investigation for false reporting, is receiving safety awards.

Living together first has always increased the likelihood of divorce, contrary to popular belief. A new study says that this is not the fault of cohabitation.

Britney's Dad is still keeping her under his thumb.

And the pimp minister trial ended in defeat... but for whom?

The Arizona attorney general's office says a jury in Tucson has ordered a man who ran a prostitution business to forfeit nearly $2 million in ill-gotten gains.
The jury found 52-year-old John A. LaVoie guilty of 22 civil counts of racketeering. The attorney general's office says he was ordered to forfeit $850,000 he earned from the prostitution business, $81,000 in cash police seized during a raid and give up an office building worth up to $1 million.

LaVoie claimed he was a minister of the Church of Liberty, a church he founded. He ran a massage and prostitution business in his building called Angel's Heaven.

LaVoie claimed Angel's Heaven was part of his church, and clients only gave donations. [Via AZ Central]

Related:

Who Would You Rather: Jennifer Aniston vs. Jennifer Connelly

Britney Spears Released from Psychiatric Ward, Let's Have a Party

Liz Phair Unveils The Secret To A Great Nude Photo Shoot

Fox News Thinks Madonna Broke A-Rod's Rod

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's Spiked Drink

What Your Areolas Say About You

Emily Farris — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:21:00 GMT

Ladies, are your areolas big and pink? Little and brown? Medium-size and pinkish-brown?

According to a new study, if they're big and brown, you're a filthy whore.

Just kidding! But there are medical factors that influence the size and color of your areolas.

Apparently, newborns can only distinguish light color from dark color, so if you've just given birth, or are pregnant, your areolas will probably be darker, so your little one can find his food source. Neat, right?

Now, if you're not pregnant or breast feeding and one nipple becomes discolored or crusty (crusty nipples!) call your doctor. That is not good.

Or, um, just don't like your pale areolas? These guys can help. But we don't recommend calling them.

[Yahoo!: What the Color of Your Areola Tells About You]

Related:

Hot or Not? Scarlett Johansson's Fuzzy Nipple

"Could you make sure that her areolas aren't showing?"

Amy Winehouse's Nipple Slip

"Could you make sure that her areolas aren't showing?"

Emily Farris — Fri, 16 May 2008 15:23:00 GMT

That's what the police asked Emmanuelle Chriqui (who we'd never heard of but is apparently in that upcoming Adam Sandler movie that we won't pay good money to see, and probably wouldn't even watch for free) while she was doing this GQ photo shoot.

"We were in a little park in Malibu. I'm topless, and this cop car pulls up," Chriqui said of her sizzling shoot for GQ Magazine in its latest issue, out this week. "The police asked the photographer, 'Could you make sure that her areolas aren't showing?'"

No areolas here.

[NY Daily News: Emmanuelle Chriqui is hot stuff in Hollywood]

Naomi Watts: Taping Your Nipples Could Work if the Tape Wasn't Bright White

Emily Farris — Thu, 15 May 2008 19:58:00 GMT

Perhaps Naomi Watts should have used flesh collored nipple tape? Or maybe black? Doesn't she have people she pays to tell her these things?

We'd have rather just seen her nipples.

[GabbyBabble: Naomi Watts Covers Her Nipples]

Third Nipple Mystery Solved

Katie Halper — Fri, 09 May 2008 20:35:00 GMT

Third nipples, as we learned yesterday, afflict 1/18th of the population. So, who is the man behind the three nipples before you? Who is this unsung hero of the third nipple pride movement? You've probably been tossing and turning all night in anticipation. Have no Fear-- you'll find out after the jump.

If you said Marky Mark, you are wrong. But if you said Mark Wahlberg, you're right. Anyone who saw Wahlberg's breathtaking performance as David in Fear knows that to call this thespian by his rapper name, Marky Mark, does not do him justice.( Although Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch were a talented bunch and "Good Vibrations" is a solid song.) Did you know that Wahlberg is part of the Third Nipples Are Beautiful Movement? Although he once planned on removing his extra nipple, Wahlberg decided to keep it. And he told Rolling Stone why: "I've come to embrace it. That thing's my prized possession."

Previously: Third Nipples: Everybody's Doing Them

Third Nipples: Everybody's Doing Them

Katie Halper — Thu, 08 May 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Today Scanner Katie got an interesting third-nipple related e-mail from Ideal Bite, a site which calls itself "a sassier shade of green" and offers tips on how to make your life greener.

Can you name the hunk rocking the third nipple to the right? And just how common are third nipples?

Apparently, 1 in 18 people has a third nipple, though they're usually mistaken for freckles or moles. Look at 17 of your friends' bare chests. If you can't find a third nipple on any of them, you're it. OK, now guess who the hunk is.

Sloppy Seconds: Is Jenna Jameson Moving from Porn to Politics?

Emily Farris — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 21:41:00 GMT

Soccer moms across America would drunkenly make out with Jackie from Bravo's "Work Out." You know, if they had to choose a lady to make out with. [Fleshbot]

If you are one of those moms and would like to see Jackie's digitally-enhanced nipples, go here. [CityRag]

There are so, so many things wrong with the idea of R. Kelly remixing a Mariah Carey track. So, so many. [MTV]

Jude Law is losing his hair. He is still hot as hell. If not hotter. Little Jude is growing up. [FameCrawler]

No, Jenna Jameson isn't runnung for office (sorry), but she is dipping her toes in the political waters, or so she thinks. [GabbyBabble]

TSA Forces Woman to Remove Nipple Rings

Emily Farris — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 16:58:00 GMT

Anyone with a piercing knows it's generally a pain in the ass to take the jewelry out, and even more of a pain to put it back in.

A drunken night many moons ago resulted in a lip piercing we eventually took out for a job interview. After two hours we couldn't get it back in; that was probably a good thing. Some, though, want to keep their jewelry, like a woman in Texas whose nipple rings set off TSA metal detectors.

When she asked a female agent if she could show her the jewelry and then board the flight, the agent called over several male agents who told her she'd need to remove the jewelry first. With some trouble, she removed one ring and told the agents she couldn't remove the second without pliers. They, of course, gave her a pair and after she removed the second ring—to the sound of the male agents snickering, she said—she was allowed to pass through security... with her belly button ring still in.

[cbs5.com: TSA Forces Woman To Remove Nipple Rings For Flight]

[Image via]

Hot or Not? Scarlett Johansson's Fuzzy Nipple

Emily Farris — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:01:00 GMT

No, Scarlett Johansson doesn't have fuzz on her nipple. But people are getting all excited about a "nipple slip" that you can barely see, in a screen shot from "A Good Woman."

Have a look and tell us if you think it's worth getting excited over.

Scarlett Johansson Downblouse - video powered by Metacafe

[Fundumper: Scarlett Johansson's "A Good Woman" Nip Slip]

Top image via imagecache2.allposters.com

Scanner Highs and Lows: We Survived Another Valentine's Day and So Did You

Emily Farris — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Valentine's Day has come and gone and we're all still here (except maybe the people who got heart-shaped suckers with scraps of metal in them). We may have gained a few pounds and had a few too many red hots while watching LOST alone in bed, but over all, it was an OK week. Even for those of us who aren't getting any (and that includes you now, New York Post readers!).

Highs:

We had a reading and you came and it was great.

Jane Fonda said "cunt" live on national television.

We found some creative ways to get through Valentine's Day.

Amy Winehouse sobered up in time for the Grammys. Or so we think.

We called a sex boycott for New York Post readers.

Lows:

Unfortunately we had to call said sex boycott because of this story.

Nipples in strange places freak us out.

This girl makes us sad for her generation.

Amsterdam's Red Light District faces a grim future. At least there will still be frites mayo.

Some crazies let Britney near their kids.

[Image via]

Who is Katie Price and Why is Her Nipple All the Way Over There?

Emily Farris — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 17:02:00 GMT

Whilst visiting our not-so-slutty sister FameCrawler this morning, we came across a post on Katie Price's nipple slip. We had no idea who she was, but a quick Wikipedia search informed us that she's also known as Jordan, a model, socialite, etc. We assume she's like the Paris Hilton of England, with much bigger breasts. Except, there's something a little off about them, or at least one of them.

[FameCrawler: Katie Price's Nipple Slip]

Prince Harry Officially Best British Royal Ever

Bryan Christian — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 16:48:00 GMT

We've never exactly been royal watchers, but that might change if the Windsor family keeps up the pace they seem to be setting. First there was that whole hushed-up sextape/cocaine story, and now pictures have emerged of Prince Harry licking another guy's nipples and snorting vodka like nose candy from a bottlecap while on vacation in Namibia -- which could apparently kill a person. (We think it depends on the type of vodka, the size of the bottlecap, and how much actual coke you've done in your life).

Here's what we have to say about this: next time the Royal Family takes a world tour, we seriously want backstage passes. What manservant do we have to blow to make that happen?