Scanner : missed tees

Sloppy Seconds: Megan Fox Doesn't Need You To Take Her Seriously

Emily Farris — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:01:00 GMT

A man gave birth to his twin, Alien style. Sort of. [The Inquisitr]

Looks like Oprah is going to have a lot less shit on her show. Literally. Dr. Oz—her in-house medical professional who was all too excited to talk poo with Ms. Winfrey—is getting his own show. [Yahoo!]

When we were growing up we seriously thought that everyone in our hometown of Independence, MO was skinny and had bad teeth because they were poor. We know better now. But why is meth so prevalent in some regions and not in others? [FlavorWire]

Wanting to not appear so poor ourselves, at 17 we lied to get a credit card. That was the beginning of our own personal financial hell. This pre-paid Discover card might have done us some good... and probably still could. [Lifestyler]

Speaking of us being poor, don't forget you can buy our Missed Tee for a mere $13. We get 10% of every sale, plus what's not to love about dogs humping legs? [MissedTees]

In the mean time, we'll follow Suze Orman on Twitter. [Twitter]

"I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against," Megan Fox tells June's Esquire, "but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've ever learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard — but I do. And part of it is my own fault." [Us]

Related:

Megan Fox Strips to Underwear for Esquire, Fancy New Camera

Sloppy Seconds: We Can All Stop Worrying About Swine Flu Now

I Owe You a Good Leg Humping

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I Owe You a Good Leg Humping

Emily Farris — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:17:00 GMT

Hey, Scanners. Thanks to all of your votes, my missed connection won the Missed Tees t-shirt contest, which means I'm $200 richer and I owe you a good leg humping. It also means you can buy my t-shirt, printed on American Apparel of course, at the ridiculously cheap price of $13 (see? everything is cheaper in the Midwest) and for the rest of eternity, I get 10% of every sale. So if you buy it, it's almost like you're my sugar daddy, or mama.

[Missed Tees]

Related:

"My dog humped your leg. I wanted to."

I Still Want to Hump Your Leg

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse is "Back in the Saddle"

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 22:34:00 GMT

That girl from Twilight will play Joan Jett in a still unnamed film about The Runaways. [AfterEllen]

The saddest thing we've seen all day: 11 extinct animals that have been photographed alive. [EcoWorldly]

The most depressing thing we've seen all day: the unfolding story of the hostage situation in Binghamton, NY. [CNN]

We (read: Scanner Emily) still need your 10 stars. Real bad. Because we need $200. Real bad. Pretty please? [MissedTees]

We (read: Scanner Collen) still need you to vote for our dream photography assignment. Because we also need $50,000. Real bad. Pretty please? [Name Your Dream Assignment]

Now all three of your Scanners are on Twitter, even though only one of us stays true to the Scanner name. [Scanner Emily, Scanner Colleen, Scanner Brian]

Remember yesterday when Madonna threw a party to celebrate an adoption that hadn't yet been approved? Um, yeah. Maybe not the best idea she ever had. [Us]

Apparently there was a fractured penis scene in last night's ER finale. Was it a swipe at Grey's Anatomy? [The Remote Island]

On April 11 Alternative Nation Countdown Takeover, a show on Sirius radio, will premiere new solo material from Rivers Cuomo that features Jason Schwartzman Rainn Wilson. Weird. Cool. [Rolling Stone]

According to a post on her MySpace blog this morning (obviously not written by her) Amy Winehouse is hard at work on her third album. We'll believe it when we hear it. Either way, we thought you'd enjoy seeing this picture again. [MySpace]

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's New Single Life

"My dog humped your leg. I wanted to."

Support a Scanner or Two

[Image, Image]

I Still Want to Hump Your Leg

Emily Farris — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 19:09:00 GMT

Scanner Emily here. Still trying to win $200. You can still help. You can also help Scanner Colleen win lots more money than that. Well, not so much win as "earn."

Do you know how lucrative professional blogging is? Not very. Which is why we have to enter silly contests like this one in hopes of winning $200—especially now that we live in the Midwest and are forced to pay way too much to finance a car because we have bad credit from nine years of living in New York. So, we've entered Missed Tees' missed connection t-shirt contest. All you have to do is click here and give us ten stars (no registration necessary). If you do, we'll totally hump your leg.

[Vote For Scanner Emily's Missed Connection]

More Shameless Self Promotion: I'll Give You a Cookie if You Buy My Book

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"My dog humped your leg. I wanted to."

Emily Farris — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:29:00 GMT

Do you know how lucrative professional blogging is? Not very. Which is why we have to enter silly contests like this one in hopes of winning $200—especially now that we live in the Midwest and are forced to pay way too much to finance a car because we have bad credit from nine years of living in New York. So, we've entered Missed Tees' missed connection t-shirt contest. Our missed connection is above. All you have to do is click here and give us ten stars (no registration necessary). If you do, we'll totally hump your leg.

[Vote For Scanner Emily's Missed Connection]

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