Scanner : miley cyrus

The Second Most Scandalous Rihanna Pics Leaked This Year (And Other Celebrities Breasts on the Web)

Drew Grant — Mon, 11 May 2009 13:37:00 GMT

So by now we have all seen (or have chosen to willfully ignore) the photo set of Rihanna nude that the dirty, sweaty blogosphere managed to get their paws on this weekend. And unlike the nude pics of say, stars of The Real Housewives Series, or Miss California, these pictures of Rihanna actually feel like an invasion of privacy. It's just too soon after those police photos, you know? But then you think, "Where would I, personally, draw the line when looking at a celebrities boobs without their consent are concerned?" Luckily for the entire world, I've made my list below.

From Most to Least Acceptable Breast Oggling

Rihanna's When She's Into It

Tracy Morgan's When He's Out Of It

Miley Cyrus When She's A Little Too Intimate

Rihanna When She's Not So Into It (Click Here If You Really Want to See)

Sloppy Seconds: Snipped Here, Screwed There

Emily Farris — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 23:18:00 GMT

Do you drunk text even though you shouldn't because it always ends badly? Yeah, so do we. Perhaps that's why we're so amused by Texts From Last Night, a new website that encourages you to submit those drunken texts you sent or received. [TFLN]

A small earthquake hit the Bay Area today. [The Inquisitr]

John Mayer would like everyone to know that he is very single. [Us]

And Miley Cyrus would like you to know that she is not dating Nick Jonas. [People]

Melissa Keeton and Shelly Wolfe were issued the first same-sex marriage license in Iowa today, after the state legalized gay marriage earlier this month. [USA Today]

Some guy we've never heard of is TIME's most influential person of the year. Turns out that though we've never heard of him we were sort-of influenced by him. [TIME]

Watch the trailer for "Partly Private," a documentary about how we view circumcision in the Western World. [Partly Private]

We've probably paid more in fees to Bank of America than we made last year. If you have too, you should tell your story to the SEIU. [ScrewedbyBofA.org]

And that picture had nothing to do with anything in this post. We just thought it was too hilarious to pass up. [Defamer]

Sloppy Seconds: Angelina Jolie Pregnant Again

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Any interest in auditioning for Puppetry of the Penis? We know a few Scanner bloggers who would attend your opening night performance...

In a stunning upset, Rascal Flatts topped Miley Cyrus on this week's Billboard album charts.

Why was a 25-year-old woman having sex with an 83-year-old man in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart? Nevermind, we'd rather not find out.

Believe it or not, there is a code of conduct for the crazy Mexican drug lords doing all that shooting.

Larry David on Woody Allen, and Woody Allen on Larry David makes for interesting reading for film buffs.

We hope Megan Fox wakes up one day soon and realizes this Brian Austin Greene character is about as cool as New Kids on the Block.

That Bruce Springsteen affair story just won't die.

Barack Obama got naked in Boston-- in a way.

And baby makes seven... not counting its parents, of course: Angelina Jolie is apparently ten weeks pregnant, according to unconfirmed reports.

Aging Gracefully Like Sophia Loren

PETA Names the Sexiest Vegetarian Next Door...

Missouri Legislators Try to Create the Crime of "Coercing an Abortion"

Seattle About To Enjoy Wave of Segway Strippers

Why Does Jamie Foxx Hate Miley Cyrus So Much?

Ina Maier — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 22:00:00 GMT

Apparently Jamie Foxx has got some beef with Miley "My Movie Made $34 Million Last Weekend" Cyrus. In a segment on the Sunday edition of his radio show (Jamie Foxx has a radio show? What?), he called the singing Disney starlet a "white bitch" who needs a "gum transplant." But just wait, there's more.

Jamie didn't like that Miley dissed Radiohead for refusing to meet her backstage at the Grammy's -- which, we suppose, is a fair enough point to make -- but the Ray Charles-wannabe laid the insults on a little heavy for our tastes.

Some choice tidbits:

"Make a sex tape and grow up."
"Get like Britney Spears and do some heroin."
"Do like Lindsay Lohan and start doin' a lesbian and get some crack in your pipe."
"Catch chlamydia on a bicycle seat."

Don't believe us? Here's the recording.

Look, we're no huge fans of Miley, and we certainly don't like it when people mess with Radiohead, but the girl is 16 and her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus. Let's assume she doesn't know any better and let her on her way.

[via Buzzfeed]

Miley Cyrus Proves Once Again That She Is--Gasp!--a Regular, Old Idiot Kid

Top 10 Teen Pop Stars

Sloppy Seconds: TGIGF for @JesusChrist

Emily Farris — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:33:00 GMT

I made this for you. Well, I made it for me, but you can make it for yourself by using my recipe. It's a Green Eggs & Ham Easter casserole and it has biscuits (and cheese!) on top. [Slashfood]

Billy Bob Thornton was booed onstage while performing with his band Boxmasters in Canada. But not necessarily because they were bad, but because prior to that he'd gotten into it with a local DJ who then introduced him at the show. [MTV]

Aren't women supposed to go around bragging about affairs with rockstars? You know, like that one we had with Jim James*? [People]

When we went to the New School we, for the most part, stayed clear of the protests. Good thing, because it seems they end with pepper spray. [DailyIntel]

Freddy Prinze Jr and Sarah Michelle Gellar are expecting a baby vampire slayer. [People]

Guess who has a book deal? Meghan McCain, daughter of Senator John and Cookie Monster Cindy has apparently signed a deal with Hyperion to pen a book about politics. [Yahoo!]

We were never the best at anything as kids. So we totally would have taken being the best Ping Pong player. Too bad this six-year-old would have taken that away from us, too. [Neatorama]

Critics are slamming Miley Cyrus' big-screen Hannah Montana. Um, yeah. [Us]

Remember that funny Some E Card? Well, turns out Christ is on Twitter. Well, sort-of. Trinity Church in New York has decided to Tweet the Passion of the Christ. Will you follow Jesus? [Twitter]

Scanner Highs and Lows: The Week We Almost Found Jesus

I Love Myself for Loving You: Jim James

*In our dreams. Every night.

While You Were Sleeping: Jen and John Redux

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 13:08:00 GMT

The Iraqi shoe thrower was sentenced to three years in prison. Come on, even if this happened in Texas while Bush was Governor, he probably wouldn't have received such a lengthy prison term.

Radiohead to a vindictive Miley Cyrus: shut up and "grow up."

This mama monkey in Thailand shows her incredibly cute lil' monkey offspring how to floss with human hair. And they say evolution is a myth.

Howard K. Stern and Anna Nicole Smith's doctor were charged with being complete assholes to her, basically helping her die young.

A great many teens appear to blame Rihanna for Chris Brown going medieval on her. Where does this kind of thinking come from? The parents?

Ashley Alexandra Dupree is getting spiritual advice from... Russell Simmons? Not that we're against it, but we're hoping he's advising her to abandon her singing career.

It seems John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston have broken up again. Moving along...

And Will Ferrel will broadcast his Broadway show on HBO at 9pm EST on Saturday.

While You Were Sleeping: The Wrestler And That Video Game

Sloppy Seconds: Women Know When Men Are Turned On

Crush of the Week: Carrie Brownstein

Top 10 Breakup Songs

Woman's Husband and Stepfather Arrested For Blackmailing Her with a Sex Tape

While You Were Sleeping: Miley Cyrus Hacked

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Bristol Palin spoke out and admitted she was unprepared for motherhood.

What does the first female minister mean for Saudi Arabia?

After weeks of media obsession, prosecutor's zeal, and ridiculous wastes of energy, Michael Phelps is not going to be charged with possession of anything.

These Valentine's Day secrets are actually heartbreaking.

With all these bird attacks on airplanes, you gotta wonder if Jerry Bruckheimer is working on a remake of that Hitchcock movie yet.

Some guy bought a phone containing numbers for Jude Law, Kevin Spacey, and Natalie Portman on ebay. Yep, that's about it-- and no, he didn't share them with us.

Like we said, Lily Allen is often annoying.

Somebody hacked Miley Cyrus. Of course, seeing as it was Twitter, they wrote a bunch of nonsense and wasted our time.

Lily Allen "Snogged Lesbian Twins"

Lily Allen Invents Another Use for Google

While You Were Sleeping: Lily Allen in the Fight of Her Life

Sloppy Seconds: What Amy Adams Does in Private

Emily Farris — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 22:43:00 GMT

Do you believe that NBC paid crazy baby lady ~~Angelina Jolie~~ Nadya Suleman nothing for her sit down with Ann Curry? [Jossip]

Our favorite headline of the day: 'Nude biker leads trooper on chase in bad weather.' [AP]

Boo: a brewery in Brooklyn has been ordered to stop making its Obama ale. That's too bad. We've had it and it's good. [The Brooklyn Paper]

After seemingly racist photos of her surfaced, Miley Cyrus is being sued for $4 million "on behalf of all "Asian Pacific Islanders living in Los Angeles County." Good luck with that Lucie Kim. [FadedYouth]

Ah! Will U2 just go away for, like, a little while? They're playing for an entire week on David Letterman to promote their upcoming album. [Yahoo!]

Apparently Amy Adams, girl of Scanner Brain's dreams, is actually a bad girl, telling BlackBook magazine, "I misbehave. I just do it in private." We imagine this only means he loves her more now. [People]

While You Were Sleeping: Carrie Underwood's Dress Was Too Short

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 14:41:00 GMT

Say hello the new iPhone.

What insurance company allowed Clive Owen to run through a market in Istanbul while pointing a gun?

Ah, Lily Allen, here's an even better way to use Google: to find out why Miley Cyrus hates Chinese people.

The woman in the Italian Terri Schiavo debate has died. And things are only getting uglier...

What do you do when the restaurant you patronize has run out of lemonade? If you're this guy, you dial 911.

Carrie Underwood thinks there is such a thing as a dress that's "too short." The men of this nation beg to differ.

Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are back together.

And Nick Cannon, who is somehow married to Mariah Carey, will host "Got Talent." Insert your "yeah, but he doesn't" riffs here.

Sloppy Seconds: M.I.A. Is the Most Badass Pregnant Woman on the Planet

Emily Farris — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 23:58:00 GMT

We don't care what anyone says about Lily Allen, we love her. And we love that she's selling her album, "It's Not Me, It's You," for $3.99. [Yahoo!]

Remember Sheyla Hershey with the racist KKK bra size? Turns out her boobs are filled with an entire gallon of silicone. [APP]

Lux Interior, the lead singer of 80's punk band the Cramps, is dead at 62. [MTV]

Miley Cyrus is not racist. Mmmkay? [Us]

OMFG! One of the NKOTB is not 2 STR8. At least according to the National Enquirer. If it's true, we're not all that surprised. [Jossip]

M.I.A. proves she's more badass than all the badass pregnant ladies (ever) combined: the rapper is going to perform at the Grammys. On her due date. [People]

Related:

A New World Record Bustline

Sheyla Hershey and Her 34FFF Boobs May Be in for a World of Hurt

34FFF Breasted Sheyla Hershey Stacks Another Boob Job On There

[Image]

PapSmeared: Miley Cyrus Explains What Girls Have Down There

Emily Farris — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 18:01:00 GMT

We know Scanner Ina already highlighted Miley Cyrus' Golden Globe wardobe FAIL, and we know that we have no room to criticize anyone for unladylike behavior, but really, Miley? Really? Do even you know where you are? (Hint: it's not the Kids' Choice Awards.)

[Image]

Golden Globes Worst Dressed: WTF Was Up With The Hair?

Ina Maier — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 15:19:00 GMT

Now, best dressed is fun and all, but it's time to get down to business. Who looked bad, who looked worse, and who looked positively fugly, comin' right up!

(More interested in the Best Dressed List? You can find it here.)

Beyonce, too low in all the wrong places, too high in all the others. We love you, we love Single Ladies, but this is too much.

Why so serious, Jennifer Carpenter? You're the star of a hit show, you just got married to your ~~brother~~ boyfriend, and you've got a pretty rockin' bod. Cheer up. (Apologies if the Joker joke was in poor taste. Speaking of which: congrats, Heath!)

So, here's the thing with Drew. The dress is alright, pretty even. But the hair. What on earth is up with the hair?

Glenn Close will always kinda creep us out (she'll be forever remembered as the bunny boiler) but normally her style of dress is no harm, no foul. And then there's this: the mismatched jacket, the awkward stance, the hair (again with the hair!) and the godforsaken ugly pants. (See Also: Susan Sarando, "Pants: Ur Doin It Rite")

To be fair, this isn't that bad. We like the color, and Hayden looks pretty. But there's something too old about the dress, and something far too constricting about the top. It just doesn't look comfortable. And lord knows, we're not on board with not comfortable.

Ack! Christina Hedricks, what happened? We love you for Mad Men, we love you for your body, and we love you for the fact that you were once upon a time our sister's roomate. But honestly? This? The dress ain't great, the bag is just weird, and once again: what. the fuck. is up with the hair??

Alright. Miley, listen up. You wouldn't be here if you weren't a) totally annoying and b) doing a totally embarassing and totally mediocre job of ripping off Giselle Bundchen's 2005 Oscar look. Sucks to be you, and what's done is done, but you've learned this lesson the hard way. Do not try to go where the world's hottest woman has gone before.

Renee Zelwegger wins, hands down, worst dressed of the evening. The see-through top, the strange sleeves, but mostly, it's the hair. We're already scarred, but can't go through this alone. So yeah, here's a close up:

PS. As always, these best / worst list are most likely (in your opinion) glaringly incomplete. So don't be afraid, don't hold back, let it rip in the comments. We're desperately curious to see your thoughts, too.

Here Comes the Bridesmaid, All Dressed in Shiny Poly-Blends

Pammy Forgot to Wear Pants

Today in Golden Globes: More Info On Something We Probably Won't Watch

Golden Globe Nominees We'd Like to Make Out With: Most of Them

PapSmeared: The Cyruses Are Married... With Children

Emily Farris — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 23:19:00 GMT

[Image]

The Top 10 Yahoo Searches of 2008

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:28:00 GMT

We never understand why year-end best of polls come out before the year is over (meaning: we understood that the media tries to capitalize on the year before everyone stops carrying, but not why anyone accepts them as fact.) Top 10 movies, as polled by the critics who have seen all the year's releases already, but what if there's a major prostitution scandal and everyone starts looking up someone named Joanna Esmerelda Dupois in absurd numbers?

Yahoo isn't worried about our pesky little inquiries. It has already released their top 10 list for 2008 and although we've already revealed their #1 choice, once we caught wind of the runner-ups, we felt an overwhelming urge to burden you with this information...

10. American Idol. You mean, people don't get enough of this shit in its four hours per week?

9. Angelina Jolie. Must've been those $14 million baby pictures everyone was trying to catch a glimpse of without having to buy a tabloid magazine. Say hello to the free world wide web, People.

8. Lindsay Lohan. She would've been our guess for the #1 slot, which shows you how much we know about what men find most attractive.

7. Naruto. Apparently, some sort of cartoon character. See #8.

6. Jessica Alba. Yes, she has her assets, but none of them include talent, interesting personality, or newsmaking lifestyle. Why, why, why?

5. RuneScape. We're starting to feel a little bit left out of the loop here...

4. Miley Cyrus. We're almost relieved to see Hannah, scion of the Montana's, on this rundown, for reasons of familiarity only.

3. Barack Obama. Here's hoping the most popular related searches do not include the phrases "is a Muslim" or "and mom's nude photos."

2. WWE. Scary... although we figured eight-year-old boys are computer-trained these days...

1. Britney Spears. What hasn't been said already about a woman who was a has-been at age 7 and hasn't done a damn thing worth paying attention to since? Let's make this her last appearance on this or any list, please...

Via Yahoo.

Related:

Caption This: Britney is Keeping Her Kids This Time

Sloppy Seconds: The Curious Case of 130,000 Missing Breasts

While You Were Sleeping: Who's #1 on Yahoo?

Sloppy Seconds: Divorce for Amy Winehouse?

While You Were Sleeping: Leftover Edition

Scanner Highs and Lows: Because We Have Nothing Better To Do on a Friday Night

Emily Farris — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 03:42:00 GMT

Yet again, we find ourselves grateful that the worst thing our mom ever did to us was show her boobs at our book party. Twice.

Highs:

We watched some sexy movies.

And discovered the greatest. move. ever.

We know what we're most thankful for this year. Mmmhmm.

We crushed a little on Borat's brother.

Could Barack and Michelle Obama be any fucking cuter? Ugh, probably.

OMG! Ashley Alexandra Dupre finally talked!

So did Pete Wentz. About those penis pictures.

We absolutely agreed with GQ's choice of Man of the Year.

Lows:

Yet again, we found ourselves grateful that our mom only showed her boobs (albeit twice) at our book party.

We got a glimpse of what life will be like in our new city.

If it wasn't Kansas City, it was going to be in Oregon.

We have officially reached the point where we'd rather eat (or fuck) a taco than fuck an actual man.

Apparently, girls really do have cooties.

Miley Cyrus. Just her. In general.

We continue to wonder why our cushion hasn't gotten us more pushin'.

We contested People's choice of sexiest man alive.

Miley Cyrus Has a Confession to Make

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:10:00 GMT

In the below video from her appearance on The Ellen Degeneres Show, Miley Cyrus giggles so much she nearly pulls a muscle. She also lays down in her chair and shreaks. Miley has the giggle of a 50-year-old lifelong smoker, and yet, still, again, Miley comes off looking like a pretty typical 16-year-old girl. How is this possible? We are completely baffled by her ability to remain genuine-seeming while selling concert tickets for $3,000 apiece.

Will someone please watch the Ellen clip and explain all this to us?

[via Dlisted]

Caption This: Miley Cyrus Likes it Ruff

Emily Farris — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 17:34:00 GMT

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: What Does LiLo Have Against ScarJo?

Emily Farris — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:09:00 GMT

We love Brian Williams and we love food courts (our first job was at Chinese Delight in the Independence Center, yo) so it should come as no surprise that we really love that NBC's Brian Williams loves to eat in food courts. [Parade]

Disney meal ticket Miley Cyrus was killed by a drunk driver over the weekend. Except totally not at all! [MTV]

Michael Jackson is being sued by the future king of Bahrain after Jackson supposedly backed out of a recording contract. [Radar]

How much fashion is really involved in the Victoria's Secret fashion show? Because we just see lots of skin. [NY Daily News]

Did you know that Scarlett Johansson was the inspiration behind Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl?" [People]

Could that be why Lindsay Lohan is no fan of Scarlett Johansson. Probably not. Two years after LiLo wrote some nasty words about ScarJo on a New York bathroom stall, Johansson still has no idea why LiLo hates her. [Us]

Sloppy Seconds: The Body Found Outside of Paula Abdul's Home

Emily Farris — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 22:05:00 GMT

American Apparel is back in this news, this time because an employee was fired after he refused to inflate figured on the company's balance sheet. [WSJ]

With the economy sucking your bank account dry, would you consider "donating" an egg for $8,000? [The Frisky]

Say what you will about those naughty Miley Cyrus pictures for Vanity Fair; Annie Leibovitz doesn't give a fuuuck. [Jezebel]

Us Weekly seems to be a little uncomfortable dealing with the fact that Lindsay Lohan called Barack Obama "colored." [Us]

The body of a suspected stalker was found dead in her car outside of Paula Abdul's Los Angeles home. [People]

[Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Obama's Replacement

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:56:00 GMT

A 22-year-old became the youngest-ever World Series of Poker champ.

There will be (yet) another Cheech & Chong movie.

Check out this bizarre photo of Stephen Baldwin and Miley Cyrus... is the tattoo we've heard about real?!

Apparently so:

Talk about random...Miley Cyrus, along with Justin Gaston and her mom, hit a Christian bookstore last night in Tennessee for Stephen Baldwin's book signing. One word: why?

"I'm not exactly sure," her rep said, who's apparently as mystified as we are by this surprise showing. "I know they're friends of the Baldwins."

Stephen showed off an "HM" tattoo on his upper bicep that reportedly stands for Hannah Montana, Miley's hit Disney show. The story is that Miley dared him to get the tat, in exchange for a cameo on her show. [E!]

Tammy Duckworth, who lost 2006 bid for Congress, trails Congressman Jesse Jackson, Jr. in a public opinion poll that asked who should replace Obama in the Senate. Of course, these polls don't matter, since it's up to the Governor, but interesting nonetheless.

And Jennifer Aniston puts Angelina Jolie in her place-- not without cause, we may add.

Sloppy Seconds: Paris Hilton Expands the Family Empire to Include Brothels

Is 'Page Six' on Miley Cyrus Skank Watch?

Sloppy Seconds: Somebody Should Tell Miley Cyrus She's a Big Girl Now

Leryn Franco Makes Up For Missing Out On The Whole "Nude Olympians Craze"

Say What? Lindsay Lohan Uses The C-Word On Obama

Scanner Roundtable: The Best and Worst Couple Halloween Costumes

Emily Farris — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 15:23:00 GMT

Our friend and her very new boyfriend, who she's not ready to call her boyfriend, are dressing up as Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson for Halloween. While we tried to convince her that if she's dressing up with a guy, and especially as a couple, he's absolutely her boyfriend, we were also thinking about what fun Halloween costumes for couples can be. Dressing up alone is fine, but playing off of someone else makes it even better.

The most creative we ever got was dressing as a mouse while an ex-boyfriend dressed as a cat. It made for some fun later in the night, but it was pretty boring and overly cute as far as couple Halloween costumes are concerned.

So what do you think? Will the streets be filled with Brangelina wannabees this year or do any of you have amazing couple costumes in mind?

A few ideas, both good and bad, after the jump.

Related:

Because It's Never Too Early to Start Thinking About Slutty Halloween Costumes

**Today in F*ck Yeah: Pacman Halloween Costumes**

Cute Overload Keeps the Pets in Costumes Coming

MyZombiePinup: Get Ready For Halloween '09

Scanner Roundtable: The Costumes That Got Us Laid

[Image, Image, Image, Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Paris Hilton Expands the Family Empire to Include Brothels

Emily Farris — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 20:57:00 GMT

The plane crash that killed four people and left Travis Barker and DJ AM badly burned appears to have been good for the survivors' love lives. It's rumored that Barker is reunited with his ex Shana Moakler and now, apparently, DJ AM is back together with his old flame, Mandy More. [FadedYouth]

Guy Ritchie is apparently pissed at Madonna for putting their son Rocco in a Yankees t-shirt. (We hate the Yankees, too, Guy). [DailyIntel]

Miley Cyrus' boyfriend was a teenager once, too. Big woop. [Defamer]

Lindsay Lohan has been prematurely booted from "Ugly Betty.: But why? [Jossip]

Gossip Girl's Taylor Momsen has been hospitalized with a "possibly life-threatening throat infection." [People]

Paris HIlton bought a London building she thinks used to be a pirate house, except, it was a brothel frequented by sailors. [MollyGood]

[Image]

Miley Cyrus's Birthday Is not Quite the Same Thing as a Disney Gay Day

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 19:03:00 GMT

Miley Cyrus, beloved tween who plays Hannah Montana and poses half-naked for Annie Leibowitz, is having a her Sweet 16 party at Disneyland this Saturday. Awwww. The park will be closed to all but 5,000 of her closest friends--er, fans--and they are totally going to take over the teacup rides, or at least they were, until we learned that another special interest group has thrown a wrench in their well-laid plans.

October 5th just so happens to be one of Disney's unofficial "gay days" when LGBT mouseketeers from around the world hit the park.

Uh. Oops. According to MTV.com:

A Disneyland rep told “Access Hollywood” on Tuesday that in order to accommodate both groups, the park will be closing at 5 p.m. to guests not attending the Cyrus party. To make up for it, Disney will accommodate Gay Days guests after 5 p.m. at its sister park, Disney’s California Adventure, which will extend its hours to 11 p.m.

And with that compromise order is restored at the happiest -- er, gayest -- place on Earth.

Sloppy Seconds: Pete Wentz Puts His Money Where His Penis is Not

Emily Farris — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 21:09:00 GMT

With word that Candace Bushnell will pen a novel telling the story of Carrie Bradshaw before she starting having sex in the city, people are already buzzing about who would play a young Bradshaw in the movie version. Can you guess who? [Yahoo!]

Who knew Bridget Jones had such influence over British families? [Jezebel]

Helen Koss, championed women's rights in Maryland and was the first female committee chairperson in the Maryland General Assembly's House of Delegates died of lung cancer at the age of 86. [Washington Post]

Do you want to put your warm apple pie in our mouth? No, really. We're judging an apple pie contest October 19th, and if you live in New York, you should enter. [Greenpointers]

Pete Wentz followed in the footsteps of Brad Pitt and Steven Spielberg by donating money to the campaign to keep same-sex marriages legal in California. [Faded Youth]

Related:

Crush of the Week: Pete Wentz

While You Were Sleeping: Pete Wentz Exposes... His Past

NFL Player Accidentally Posts Photo Of His Penis On His Blog

Ashlee and Pete Finally Come Clean on Pregnancy Rumors

Top 10 Most Famous Penises In Human History

Ashlee Simpson Sure is Knocked Up

Sloppy Seconds: What Did Tina Fey Lose at the Emmys?

Emily Farris — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 21:04:00 GMT

Josh Groban says that "coffee and Nick at Nite" helped him prepare for his Emmy performance last night. Really? We were thinking crack and cheese. [People]

Um. Lowest rated Emmys. Ever. [The Feed]

Even with the part where that guy from Dancing With the Stars dropped Heidi Klum on her ass? At least she showed us her bruise. [FadedYouth]

Are the Cyruses trying to get fired from Disney? God, we hope so. [MollyGood]

The plane crash that killed four people and left DJ AM and Travis Barker badly burned may have been the result of a faulty tire. [Us]

Tina Fey didn't lose her composure, her top or her virginity at the Emmys. Nope, she just lost her purse. We think Josh Groban stole it. Hoping to find Sarah Palin's crack. Everyone gets so confused at these things. [People]

Are We Wrong To Post These Pics Of Shawn Johnson In A Bikini?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 15:08:00 GMT

Under the guise of posting about eighteen-year-old Olympian powerhouse Natasia Liukin (above), The Improper and Egotastic are both asking for it when they leak these Miley Cyrus-esque poses of jailbait gold medalist Shawn Johnson wearing a bikini and prancing about...

Well, they're basically asking for a lot of pervs to find their pages via Google image search, while the rest of us just say, Hey, there's nothing wrong with celebrating the female form in its finest, most triumphant glory, but we'll wait another couple of years and, in the meantime, stick to drooling over Victoria Pendleton...

Meanwhile, Johnson, who won a gold a set of silvers, is apparently such a huge celebrity now, the pilot on her recent flight from Chicago to New York had to be taken to the hospital after bumping his head from excitement when he heard she was on a plane. Thousands in her home state of Iowa turned out to see a glimpse of her, as if she were all four Beatles rolled into one.

We're sure to be seeing more of these types of candids leaking out... which will only add to her fame, of course.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Olympic Mania

Sloppy Seconds: Olympic Horses In Doping Scandal

Olympian Alain Baxter Trying To Get Himself More, Um, Exposure

Michael Phelps Dresses... Up?

German Female Olympians Form Close Bond, Immediately Pose Nude For Playboy

Sloppy Seconds: More Naughty Miley Cyrus Photos Leaked

Top 10 Places To Have Sex... This Week

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 15:19:00 GMT

Although the list on Playboy concentrates on the Top 10 Places To Have Sex Before You Die, we gotta say, "Why are you spreading these out over the rest of your life? You should do all ten of these this week."

Besides that, the Playboy list is kind of lame, with many obvious choices (and it begged the obvious #11 and #12 additions on Digg: "In the ass" and "in the boobeez.") We came up with our own list, which is based on experience...

10. On a kitchen table-- anybody remember Bull Durham? What about the scene in Fatal Attraction on the counter? You know why we remember these? Because they were fuckin' hot.

9. In a car... a moving car... that you're driving-- while we don't encourage this kind of behavior, it has apparently worked for several of our readers. And Charlie Sheen.

8. In a limo-- roll up that screen... unless you get off on the chauffer watching in the rearview mirror.

7. In the subway-- there's always a chance the train is going to stop in the next station and a top of up-all-night tourists are going to step into your previously deserted car. But that shouldn't stop anyone from having a quickie!

6. In an abandoned house-- not like a crack house or anything. (Although we're not against sex anywhere.) Do you have a kind of ghost town, such as the Salton Sea, near you? Drive out to a rundown motel and find a bizarre place to have sex-- a bizarre room to have sex in, that is, funny guy.

5. In the jacuzzi-- just don't let the other bed and breakfast guests catch you. Remember: it's hot when you do it, gross when someone else does it.

4. On the floor-- this would be obvious, except when there's a bed nearby, 99.9999% of the time, couples will choose the bed. Hey, live a little...

3. At a stadium event-- if you're at a Miley Cyrus concert, there are going to be so many teenagers getting it on, you won't even be given a second glance.

And, ah, what the hell... two we agree with from Playboy's list:

2. On the beach-- although if you haven't already done this, this should be your next one to try out: you have one more weekend of summer left, after all...

1. At the mile high club-- just make sure Ralph Fiennes isn't already lurking in the loo and this should be a good time.

How Young Is Too Young?

Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans Join The Mile High Club

Can I Have A Window Seat In The Non-Masturbating Section?

Sex on the Beach: In Dubai, That's 6 Years in Prison

Nine British Women In Beach Bust After Oral Sex Contest

Top 5 Kate Winslet Sex Scenes

Sloppy Seconds: More Naughty Miley Cyrus Photos Leaked

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 20:20:00 GMT

It's nice to see Donald Trump doing something selfless, especially if it involves buying property and still somehow being selfless about it.

The troops give to Obama over McCain by a six-to-one ratio. We're thinking it might have something to do with that whole "100 years in Iraq" thing.

Kate Winslet says having sex with Leonardo DiCaprio in their new movie was "weird..." Perhaps because her husband was watching her:

But is was during a love scene that Winslet suddenly felt uncomfortable having her husband directing the picture.
She says, "I just kept saying, 'This is too... weird.' And Leo was like, 'Oh, get over it.' And I'm going, 'Yeah, a little reminder: You're my best friend. He's my husband. This is a bit weird.'
"I hadn't realised how much my chemistry with him since Titanic would still stick. It's great to discover we can just slip right into it, like muscle memory."

Is the next Harry Potter movie, now delayed all the way to July, going to bomb?

Frank Sinatra, stud to the end: his one shared kiss with Kate Moss sent the model wobbling, to the point where she had to take a seat.

Miley Cyrus can't get rid of this blogger/hacker who is spreading these photos of the star in her underwear all over the web.

And Leryn Franco and Victoria Pendleton shed their cothes to get a little more attention. Just a bit more.

Related:

New Miley Cyrus Photo Scandal Already Exaggerated Beyond Belief

The 5 Hottest Men And 5 Hottest Women Of The 2008 Summer Olympics

Bulgarian Wrestlers Win Big... Are Big

Harry Potter A Failure With Real Girls As Well

The Top 10 Most Overrated Movies Of The Past 14 Years

Freaky FAA Tapes Reveal Obama's Plane Nearly Crashed July 7th

While You Were Sleeping: Which TV Female Character Do You Wanna Be?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 13:15:00 GMT

Morgan Freeman was released from the hospital and will have to wear a neck brace for six months or more.

Don't read this if you want to go on disliking Lauren Conrad.

Who are the two richest kids in Showbiz? If you guessed Ricky Schroeder, you really aren't reading the right blog...

1= Miley Cyrus, $26 million (GBP13 million) 1= Daniel Radcliffe, $26 million (GBP13 million) 3. Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, $15 million (GBP7.5 million) 4. The Jonas Brothers, $12 million (GBP6 million) 5. Zac Efron, $5.8 million (GBP2.9 million).

We don't think the Jonas Brothers should count because there are, what, how many of them... and re-spawning every minute?

The World's Greatest Dad is guilty of being one of the world's scuzziest.

Obama and Bush were the targets one of main's assassination plots, unrelated to yesterday's story about the teenage boy who planned to kill W.

What do you think of Defamer's list of the Top 10 TV Characters Women Want To Be Like And Women Want To Be With? Sexist? Spot on?

Tom Selleck will join "Dancing With The Stars?" He's not looking too shabby these days, either, he's probably in proper shape...

And Battlestar Galactica fans, rejoice: a two-hour special will air... next year.

Related:

"World's Greatest Dad" Arrested In Online Sex Sting

"Battlestar Galactica": In Desperate Need of a Safeword?

Sloppy Seconds: Is Sarah Jessica Parker the Unsexiest Woman In Hollywood?

Top 10 Teen Pop Stars

Sloppy Seconds: Update On The Christian Bale Story

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:36:00 GMT

A Louisiana police officer may be charged with murder after he tasered a suspect nine times in fourteen minutes. His crime, besides a drug charge gone to warrant? Being unable to get up as a result of the tasering. (Guess the races of our two subjects.)

Michael Caine thinks there may not be a third Christopher Nolan-Batman movie since The Dark Knight will be hard to top.

Is there any male figure young men and women can trust anymore? A New Jersey basketball couch and "youth supervisor" supervised a little too closely: he's been charged with soliciting nude photos from four teenage boys.

What are the Top 10 Shows teens are excited to see? (Don't hold your breath they've even heard of Mad Men.)

Miley Cyrus made a "mistake," she admits, in letting Vanity Fair publish those photos. No, her real mistake was posing with that creepy Billy Ray guy.

We returned it, we swear! A man in Colorado will spend ten years in prison for taking out materials from his local library and not returning them. He couldn't return them, you see, because he was selling them to the highest bidder.

And the complete rundown on the Christian Bale story. Maybe it wasn't such a big deal after all, as one commenter already pointed out:

In a statement issued shortly after Bale's release, a spokesperson for the star says: "Christian Bale attended a London police station today, on a voluntary basis, in order to assist with an allegation that had been made against him to the police by his mother and sister.
"Mr. Bale, who denies the allegation, co-operated throughout, gave his account in full of the events in question and has left the station without any charge being made against him by the police. At this time, there will be no further comment by Mr. Bale."

The article goes on to say Bale has to see a judge in September. Doesn't sound like a big deal after all...

Via IMDB.