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Mile High Club Lovers Take Sex Life to the Fast Lane

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 15:17:00 GMT

A little over a year ago, a friend of ours with the commenter name of "Ahem" caused a stir on these pages by suggesting he was able to accomplish a minor version of a threesome while operating a motor vehicle.

We were a threesome "couple" (trouple?), and luckily both were as thrilled with the idea as I. My GF in the backseat stripped down and crawled over me and into position while my GF in the passenger seat took up the task of steering. I did what I could to both provide and enjoy pleasure while keeping my foot on the gas and my eyes on the road through two very firm thighs.

While we can't actually confirm this story really happened, here's one that the police were able to, thanks to their dashboard cams. And unlike the above story, this sex act takes place in the fast lane...

According to the local newspapers in Norway, a 28-year-old man and his 22-year-old lover were arrested after cops spotting them having intercourse while the man was driving (see above illustration for an explanation on this strange phenomenon.)

Officers who clocked the couple's silver Mazda 323 racing at 133km/h in a 100 zone realised they were doing more than just breaking the speed limit, police told AFP on Monday.

"It was veering from one side to the other because the woman was sitting on the man's lap while he was driving and doing the act, shall we say," said Tor Stein Hagen, a superintendent with Soendre Buskerund district police.

"He couldn't see much because her back was in the way," he added.

"Why they did it on a highway with such a high risk we don't know."

Well, Tor, obviously you've never been laid properly. It's precisely because of the high risk, great story, and that need to get off that people generally have.

Reader "Ahem" a Braver, Hornier Driver Than We Are

Top 10 Places To Have Sex... This Week

Putting an End to Teacher Sex?

Sloppy Seconds: Chris Brown's Mystery Woman Revealed

While You Were Sleeping: Foxy Brown Joins The Nipple Slip Parade

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:12:00 GMT

Charley Pride: country music legend and our Hero of the Day, no question.

This man's stripper addiction costs him pretty much his entire salary. Dude, you can rent a harem in most countries, including the US, every night of the week, for what you're throwing away in English pounds.

Spencer Tunick won't be showing naked Irish people to Ireland after all.

This is a tragic(ally hilarious?) tale of Mile High Club action gone wrong.

Don't text while driving-- it can cost you years of prison time.

Google Voice is coming to the iPhone. In other news, Scanner Brian may be coming to the iPhone today...

We told you about how meddling Puritan Republicans basically banned porn at Maryland State schools. Thankfully, the students aren't giving up
so easily...

Did Sam and Lindsay really break up this time? And does this mean this is the last time we'll ever have to mention their names in writing?

And Foxy Brown slipped a nip in concert. That is all you need to know.

Website Stockpiles Your Worst In-Flight Experiences

Skinny Blonde Beer As Misogynist As It Is Gimmicky

While You Were Sleeping: Britain's Next Topless Model

Ryanair Stewardess Wants You to Join Her Mile High Club

Sloppy Seconds: Gwyneth Paltrow Has a Cure for Joaquin Phoenix

While You Were Sleeping: Joining the Mile High Club

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 13:08:00 GMT

Forty million people tuned in to watch Obama's press conference. Yes, but what does it mean?

We're not sure what to say about the bank robber who rammed his getaway car into another car, fled, took a bus, taxi, and a ride from his sister, and was finally apprehened at home with a paltry four grand when he was forced to call 9-1-1. It turns out that he'd arrived home to find his roommate dead of an apparent suicide.

Oh no! A Three Stooges movie now?! Make it stop... and tell these actors we now officially hate them: Sean Penn, Jim Carrey, and Benicio del Toro.

These defense lawyers for Phil Spector would crack us up if they weren't helping psycho get away with second-degree murder.

Would you eat a 4,800 calorie burger? Would anyone?

Remember the guy who was busted in the act of having sex with a car wash vaccuum cleaner? Yeah, a mere 90 days for scarring those witnesses for life.

Skype is #1 in the world-- take that, AT&T.

A GOP whip chose the whip Britney Spears used onstage.

Chicago's St. Patrick's Day Parade is no more.

It's week 915 of the tabloids pretending Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are breaking up. But, for the first time ever, people are starting to believe it might be true.

And singer Elvis Crespo joined the Mile High Club... or so says this woman, who complained about it.

Jennifer Aniston Finally Speaks Out About Brad Pitt

Britney Spears Suffers From A Vagina Slip

"You'll Still Pay Money To Come See Me"

While You Were Sleeping: If Even Apple Is In Trouble

Ryanair Stewardess Wants You to Join Her Mile High Club

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:21:00 GMT

Last week, we presented exclusive footage of a stewardess and a pilot attempting to join the other kind of Mile High Club. In July, we showed you a video of a Ryanair press conference in which several executives announced planes for "blow jobs in business class," a joke that may have been taken literally by one stewardess.

Fleshbot and other porn blogs have outed Edita Bente, internet porn sensation, as Ryanair stewardess Edita Schindlerova, which is a way better porn name anyway.

Save your "I'd like to violate her airspace" jokes for after the jump...

Bente tells The Sun that, following her appearance in Ryanair's yearly calendar, in which she starred wearing a bikini, a coworker discovered her moonlighting gig and outed her to staff:

"I had this shit a year ago with a pilot with nothing better to do than check the Internet," she said.

Wow. Way to attack your base, Bente. Pervs have feelings, too, ya know.

Thanks to Fleshbot for the heads up.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: The Wrestler And That Video Game

Video of the Day: What's German For Blow Job?

The Rest of the Week Can't Possibly Top This Mr. T Infomercial

The Mile High Club Takes On A Whole New Meaning...

Sloppy Seconds: Gwyneth Paltrow Has a Cure for Joaquin Phoenix

Emily Farris — Mon, 16 Mar 2009 23:01:00 GMT

A round-up of those who are about to die. On TV, of course. [EW]

Is South by Southwest is a pointlless party? [Gawker]

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson apparently came this close to joining the mile high club on a recent Virgin Atlantic flight. [Mile High Club Book]

Researchers say a compound often found in cosmetics and foods like ice cream could help prevent the spread of HIV when used in lube. [CollegeNews]

When we find out a guy we think is cute can't spell, we get really disappointed. Same goes for Joanna Angel. But hey, she Twitters some pretty great stuff. [Twitter]

Gwyneth Paltrow thinks her buddy Joaquin Phoenix needs some street cred if he's doing to keep rapping. She thinks he should take a trip to the projects. [People]

[Image]

The Mile High Club Takes On A Whole New Meaning...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 13:46:00 GMT

Don't worry, passengers were never in any danger on this, an Aeroflot flight. After all, it's not like they're the largest airline in Russia or anything.

Translation (based on a scientific process called "bullshit detection"):

Pilot: Greetings, we are currently elevated at 300,000 feet above the earth's oozing, multi-colored, totally radical crater. Over here, you see the many hundreds of lockers where our employees store their things free of charge, while we continue to charge our passenger $325 per checked bag. And this here is a lovely little mound of hashish.

Cut to: Stewardess rolling a joint with a steady hand. Turbulence comes later, after they've had a few of these suckers. Then she's lighting up, miles above the ground! (Honestly, this can't really be a commercial flight, right? Where the fuck are these people? And aren't they monitoring the controls in case of potential collision or bird attack?)

Stewardess: Nothing, I was just going to tell you I was high becuase no one would ever put this on LiveLeak, so I don't care! Ha ha ha, ha ha ha!

Via LiveLeak.

Kate Moss Stocks Up On Beer, Strips For New York Magazine

ABC News: Guess What? Sex Is Good For You

19th Century Women Stuck a Cork in It

Sloppy Seconds: Kate Winslet's Secret

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 21:33:00 GMT

Things seem to be looking up for Jennifer Hudson this year. Rumor has it, she may be singing the "Star Spangled Banner" for Obama's inauguration. [Radar]

Matt Dillon is facing a possible three months in jail if convicted for driving 103 miles an hour in a 65-mph zone. [Us]

John Travolta's son, Jett, is dead at 16. [Gawker]

Who is Lily Allen's new gray-haired mystery man? [FadedYouth]

The men's room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport where Larry Craig was arrested for soliciting sex is losing its appeal as a tourist destination. [Queerty]

Like her mother before her, Bristol Palin went straight back to ~~work~~ school days after the birth of her son. Or so her mother would like us to know. [People]

Like us, Kate Winslet does not go to the gym. Unlike us, it works for her. [FameCrawler]

Related:

What's It Like Having Sex With Leonardo DiCaprio?

While You Were Sleeping: Kate Winslet's Underage Sex

Kate Winslet Takes it Off for Vanity Fair

British Airways Invites You To Join The Mile High Club

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:45:00 GMT

If this very angry wife is to be believed in her anonymous column in the Times, British Airways invited her husband and a total stranger to have sex in the first class section instead of, well, in the toilets.

It gets better...

In Part 1 of what we assume to be a three or four-part diary, a woman relates the story of how her husband started his affair by having sex with, as the wife puts it, "a 27-year-old blond." They met in coach, but were bumped when their loud conversation began to disturb the other passengers. (Oh, great, now everyone who reads this article is going to start shouting on an airplane just to get bumped to First Class.) It was there that they proceeded to have sex-- what, there was no one in First Class trying to sleep? Geez...

(If BA is the “World's Favourite Airline” then that flight must be the World's Most Misguidedly Accommodating.)

Anyway, oddly enough, the wife spends the rest of her diary attacking the woman in the slyest and most pathetic ways possible. The below lines are from her story of what happened after her husband gave the woman only his first name and the company he worked for:

So began an infatuated and obsessive affair that lasted several months and bloody nearly broke us before she was cast into the ether.
I also blame her because she turned out to be Miss Bunny Boiler, who was on a mission to get him, marry him and have his babies, whatever the cost. But I also blame Google. In the days before Google, sexwith a stranger on a plane could have gone no farther. A mere first name and an occupation would not have been enough even for the most determined Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction...

Wow... she just compared a harmless woman who fell for her husband to a fictional psychopath who boiled a little girl's rabbit alive and attempted to murder human beings. That seems fair.

It would have been a better thing if she had resisted the erotic charge of Googling my husband and left herself free to go off doing what she did best, namely whoring with other fantasists just panting to become members of the Mile High Club with a slut.

Why is the Times publishing this vindictive garbage? Clearly, this is one diary that should have been left locked up. However, if you'd like to read more of her diary, which includes virtually no attacks on the husband, click here.

Related:

Top 10 Places To Have Sex... This Week

Photo Essay: Revenge of the Cheated

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Today in WTF: PG Porn

Top 10 Places To Have Sex... This Week

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 15:19:00 GMT

Although the list on Playboy concentrates on the Top 10 Places To Have Sex Before You Die, we gotta say, "Why are you spreading these out over the rest of your life? You should do all ten of these this week."

Besides that, the Playboy list is kind of lame, with many obvious choices (and it begged the obvious #11 and #12 additions on Digg: "In the ass" and "in the boobeez.") We came up with our own list, which is based on experience...

10. On a kitchen table-- anybody remember Bull Durham? What about the scene in Fatal Attraction on the counter? You know why we remember these? Because they were fuckin' hot.

9. In a car... a moving car... that you're driving-- while we don't encourage this kind of behavior, it has apparently worked for several of our readers. And Charlie Sheen.

8. In a limo-- roll up that screen... unless you get off on the chauffer watching in the rearview mirror.

7. In the subway-- there's always a chance the train is going to stop in the next station and a top of up-all-night tourists are going to step into your previously deserted car. But that shouldn't stop anyone from having a quickie!

6. In an abandoned house-- not like a crack house or anything. (Although we're not against sex anywhere.) Do you have a kind of ghost town, such as the Salton Sea, near you? Drive out to a rundown motel and find a bizarre place to have sex-- a bizarre room to have sex in, that is, funny guy.

5. In the jacuzzi-- just don't let the other bed and breakfast guests catch you. Remember: it's hot when you do it, gross when someone else does it.

4. On the floor-- this would be obvious, except when there's a bed nearby, 99.9999% of the time, couples will choose the bed. Hey, live a little...

3. At a stadium event-- if you're at a Miley Cyrus concert, there are going to be so many teenagers getting it on, you won't even be given a second glance.

And, ah, what the hell... two we agree with from Playboy's list:

2. On the beach-- although if you haven't already done this, this should be your next one to try out: you have one more weekend of summer left, after all...

1. At the mile high club-- just make sure Ralph Fiennes isn't already lurking in the loo and this should be a good time.

How Young Is Too Young?

Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans Join The Mile High Club

Can I Have A Window Seat In The Non-Masturbating Section?

Sex on the Beach: In Dubai, That's 6 Years in Prison

Nine British Women In Beach Bust After Oral Sex Contest

Top 5 Kate Winslet Sex Scenes

While You Were Sleeping: We'll Score Or Go Topless For You

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:48:00 GMT

Don't you wish America's Next Top Models were making sex tapes, too?

Isn't this entrapment? An Ohio man came upon a topless woman in a park. The woman, noting that the park was empty, asked him to take out his dick. He obliged and was promptly arrested as part of a sting operation.

Did you hear about the naked airplane passenger?

An American Airlines flight from Boston to Los Angeles was diverted to Oklahoma City on Friday after a passenger stripped nude and later tried to open an emergency exit door before being subdued by members of a professional soccer team and others, the FBI said.

If you're going to kill yourself by jumping in front of a train, the least you could do is not traumatize the driver for life by staring into his eyes.

Neil Young talked about living with war (both the album and the state of being) on Charlie Rose. Not news, but you should check it out anyway.

More than 5,000 people donated to a guy running for office in nowhere Kansas after a cartoon about his candidacy took off on the internet. (To put things in perspective: he shattered previous records of only a few hundred people ever donating in such a race.)

An English footballer, scoreless since 2006, has vowed to score

five goals in this season’s push for promotion. If he is not successful then he and the rest of the United first team will get their kit off and pose for a topless calendar with the proceeds going to charity.

Topless soccer players? Come on, dudes... if you were serious, it would be a calendar with the full monty.

Male Mormon Missionaries Go Topless For The Hell Of It

Today in Bad-Assery: The Neil Young Archives, 1963-1972

Video of the Day: What's German For Blow Job?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 17:59:00 GMT

Ryanair wants you know that they are offering oral sex in business class. Oh, and ten-euro flights "across the Atlantic," but who cares about that, right?

This classic press conference courtesy of Gadling.

Shocker: Bill Clinton Has Extramarital Affairs

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:41:00 GMT

We haven't heard from the President of the United States in a while. (No, not including George Bush-- the person last elected President was Bill Clinton.) While his wife is wrapping up her campaign with a final 24 hour push, concluding sometime around midnight this evening, Bill himself has been plenty busy. Busy getting busy, that is, at least according to anonymous sources and speculation on Defamer, via Vanity Fair.

[F]our former Clinton aides told me that, about 18 months ago, one of the president's former assistants, who still advises him on political matters, had heard so many complaints about such reports from Clinton supporters around the country that he felt compelled to try... an "intervention..."

"Clinton was apparently seeing a lot of women on the road."

One of those women was apparently the Los Angeles-based star of one of Nerve's top sex scenes, and the hottest lesbian one this side of Mulholland Drive...

If you guessed Gina Gershon, star of "Bound," then congratulations. If your name is Bill Clinton, mucho congratulations on that, you lucky bastard.

[A] certain "Air Fuck One" [or “Ron Air,” as Clinton calls Ron Burkle's jet] voyage yielded an especially persistent rumor about a donor meeting, so to speak, between Clinton and Gershon — and we hear she gave him a lot more than a check. [Other rumored companions include] Belinda Stronach, a twice-divorced billionaire auto-parts heiress and member of the Canadian Parliament 20 years his junior... a female friend in Chappaqua, a woman in a bar at a meeting of the Aspen Institute, and a public sighting of Clinton, [billionaire Steve] Bing, and a ravishing entourage in a New York elevator that, a former Clinton aide told me, led a business leader who saw them to say: I don’t know what the guy was doing, but it was so clear that it was just no good.

Wait, does this mean the Republican Party can bring Bill Clinton up on charges of prostitution? What a stud...

Via Vanity Fair.

There Go Economy Class Hand Jobs

Emily Farris — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 15:37:00 GMT

Delta's new "cozy suite" seats might make flying economy class more pleasant for most people. But what about the folks who like to get to know their neighbor or travel companion a little better under a dirty fleece blanket? Do the arm rests even go up? Geez. At least it will make in-flight masturbating a little easier.

[Gizmodo: Delta "Cozy Suite" Seats Make Economy Class Semi-Tolerable]

Is Anyone Else Strangely, Yet Safely, Turned On by Delta's New In-Flight Safety Video?

Emily Farris — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 13:14:00 GMT

Can I Have A Window Seat In The Non-Masturbating Section?

Katie Halper — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 20:45:00 GMT

A 21-year old woman is suing American Airlines for failing to protect her from involuntarily and unknowingly joining the mile high club. Apparently as the woman slept during her flight from LA to Dallas, she got more than just beauty sleep. 20 minutes before the flight landed, the woman woke up to discover that a man had moved into the seat next to her, was looking at her, and masturbating. The woman responded by turning towards the window and nervously running her fingers through her hair when, in a There's Something About Mary moment (no, not the franks and beans one), she realized she had “a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance in her hair,” -- and it wasn't an anti-frizz hair product. The woman then cried and unsuccessfully attempted to get the attention of the flight attendants. According to the law suit, "a passenger in the row in front of the woman comforted her and verified the semen in her hair." This sounds traumatic, and nobody wants to blame the victim. But it seems like the American Airlines flight attendants acted appropriately-- once the plane landed, they notified the airport police and the man was arrested. And anyone who has ever needed an extra blanket knows how hard it is to get the attention of a flight attendant. But we also know the old adage, "if at first you don't succeed in getting the attention of a flight attendant to report being masturbated on, dust yourself off and try again, even if that means getting out of your seat while the fastened seat belt sign is on."

Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans Join The Mile High Club

Emily Farris — Wed, 27 Feb 2008 15:38:00 GMT

After the Oscars, Sienna Miller and her boyfriend Rhys Ifans just couldn't wait until they got home to do it. So they had sex in first class, or so the Mirror reporter who apparently witnessed the whole thing would like to think. The Mirror gives us the details like a bad romance novel or press release; we're not sure which.

The pair's antics reached an eyepopping climax - at 37,000ft - with Rhys whipping off his top and jumping half-naked into giggling Sienna's fold-out SINGLE bed.

Their award-winning transatlantic performance (in the horror category) started from the moment we'd buckled into our Upper Class seats for the 7.30pm Virgin flight on Monday.

Oblivious to all fellow passengers - including Oscar-less James McAvoy, who was buried in his sudoku book - Sienna and Rhys began snogging, tongues a go-go. Imagine a soundtrack of slurping and squelching.

Next came an interlude of hairstroking, petting and nibbling, interspersed with whispering to each other and laughing hysterically.

After slipping into baggy black sleep suits they then treated us to some play-fighting. After a while, Sienna demanded: "Baby, baby, can you go to the bar and get me some white wine." Rhys nodded, collected two generous glasses of Pinot Grigio, and managed to spill one down himself. Classy.

And just as we thought things couldn't get any more stomach-churning, came a sight we wouldn't wish on our worst enemies.

Rhys pulled off his wine-soaked top, exposing his scrawny white body, and squeezed into Sienna's bed for a snuggle. As it's only 33ins wide, that's some squeeze.

[Mirror: Sienna Miller and Rhys Ifans' naughty antics in bed on plane]

Flying the Friendly Skies on Thai TV

Emily Farris — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:14:00 GMT

Flight attendants in Thailand are demanding the government pull a new soap opera about their "profession," as it were.

The Air Hostess Wars shows flight attendants scheming for the affections of a suave and handsome married airline captain, who embarks on an affair with one of their number.

Angry cabin staff say the love triangle portrayed in the programme, which leads to fighting in the aisles and scenes of passionate sex on stopovers, bears no relation to real life and portrays them in a bad light.
"This soap opera is insulting and damaging to the reputation of flight attendants," said Noppadol Thaungthong, a Thai Airways cabin crew member leading the union's action. "It's all about sex and air hostesses beating each other up in the cabin because of love and jealousy. This kind of thing never happens."

[The Guardian: Thai cabin crew protest at steamy airborne TV soap]

[Image via]