Scanner : michelle rodriguez

Sloppy Seconds: Stripper Fight

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:21:00 GMT

According to Jezebel, the love letter is dead but the breakup e-mail is strong with this generation.

Michelle Rodriguez from Lost flipped out at a wedding-- if you believe this nonsense story.

But what happens when the pants come off? Push-up underwear for men isn't expected to go over big with Croatian women.

The Craigslist Killer may have murdered to help cover his gambling debts. Dumbasses-- don't gamble what you don't have in your bank account or you'll end up like this guy.

If you have a sword and dress like a ninja and are attempting to commit robberies, a dry cleaner is probably low on your list of priorities.

While wife Amy suffered burns on her leg due to... um... "a cooking accident," Blake Fielder-Civil has demanded his lover allow him to take a paternity test.

A woman who works for Fox61 in Connecticut was arrested twice in three hours in the same neighborhood and by the same officer, both times for driving drunk.

The Seinfeld adult film spoof is real... and features the Porn Nazi.

And a 52-year-old stripper, enjoying her first day on the job, was stabbed in the eye by a jealous co-worker.

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Because Breast Milk is Cheaper Than Cow's Milk?

Sloppy Seconds: Elisha Cuthbert Survives Harrowing Hit-And-Run

Jesus Died For Somebody's Sins, But Not Mine

We Finally Figured Out Why Marilyn Manson Dumped Dita Von Teese...

It's Like Reefer Madness But With Dogs

While You Were Sleeping: Blake Fielder-Civil's 16-Year-Old Girlfriend?

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Thrilla in vanilla: Michael Jackson's press conference announcing some London shows he'll soon cancel was not exactly a thriller. See the video Scanner Emily shared yesterday.

Dr. Sanjay Gupta has decided to turn down a job in the Obama Administration.

Hero of the day: the nurse who bought a disabled boy a fake vagina so he could get himself off.

Yeah, fuck the paps. Michelle Rodriquez rules.

A foot fetish story has NPR in hot water with the usual dumbass listeners who all apparently have broken radio dials.

Did you hear that a car crashed through The Mac Store in Eugene, Oregon on Tuesday? Scary footage here, story at this link.

One of those female Chinese medal winners turns to be a man.

Seinfeld cast members will take over Curb Your Enthusiasm in the upcoming season.

Madonna was named PETA's most hated.

Amy Winehouse's husband is rumored to be involved with a sixteen-year-old girl. We said "rumored" so don't sue is if they're just friends...

Michael Jackson's Statues Are Not Helping His Public Image

Amy Winehouse, Topless Again, Stars in Her Most Bizarre Adventure Yet

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's New Single Life

While You Were Sleeping: Michelle Rodriguez Talked About Her Vagina, Sex With Dogs

Emily Farris — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 13:13:00 GMT

The New York Times accidentally published a reporter's "terribly misspelled notes." But hey, we're lucky to get the first and last letter of a word down during a phone interview. Or ntes usuallly lok a lttl smthng ike this. [Wonkette]

Little Rudy Huxtable is going to play a hooker in the upcoming Tyler Perry movie. Remember when she rubbed cream on her chest to try and make her boobs come in? Yeah, where can we get some of that? [Yahoo!]

Pope Benedict XVI met with sex abuse victims. [NYT]

Some people have way too much time on their hands; we sometimes wish we were one of them. [Netorama]

We don't know if we've ever been more tempted to move back to the Midwest. A children's book explaining Mommy's plastic surgery? [Jezebel]

Another reason to move back to the Midwest would be experiencing shit like this first hand: an accidental pairing of a gun show billboard next to a gun safety PSA billboard. [Plog]

Michelle Rodriguez is as gay as Ashlee Simpson is pregnant: you may think you know, but she's not telling. And she'd like to let you (or us) know you're an asshole for even wondering. On people trying to "out her": "I picture them turning into pigs, slime coming out the side of their mouth, and I picture them jerking off. I don't answer those questions. I just keep it to myself and it's nobody's business. If I wanna fuck a girl, a boy, a dog—that's my business. That's why there's bathroom doors." Gee, she's about as fun as Ana Lucia. [GabbyBabble]

Manliest Woman of the Year: Michelle Rodriguez, Hillary Clinton or that one Pussycat Doll

Emily Farris — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 20:56:00 GMT

Double Viking wants to know which of these three women is the Manliest Woman of the Year? While we have many problems with this, we think they 1. could have come up with some better candidates, and 2. could have used a better picture of Hillary (especially considering Scanner readers voted her more fuckable than Oprah).

[Double Viking's 2007 Manly Awards]

In the News: Stripper Gets Worker's Comp, Michelle Rodriguez Gets Jail Time

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 12:55:00 GMT

Because sometimes the pole can get slippery: Stripper's worker's compensation upheld after she injured herself dancing on the pole. Hobson claimed she suffered neck pain and numbness after injuring herself while dancing at the Shangri-La West club in Fort Wayne on Dec. 20, 2001.

We had one of these at the bar last night: Doctors give man vodka drip because they ran out of medicinal alcohol they'd normally use. The 24-year-old Italian...was diagnosed as having ingested a large quantity of ethylene glycol, a common ingredient of antifreeze that can cause renal failure.

Dear Abby, Thanks!: PFLAG honors advice column writer Dear Abby for her support of the gay and lesbian community. Jeanne's mother Pauline, who founded "Dear Abby," helped promote PFLAG as a resource in 1984 when she first referred a distraught parent to the organization.

Michelle Rodriguez gets lost behind bars: Lost star Michelle Rodriguez sentenced to six months in jail for violating probation and generally being a drunken troublemaker. "She did file a document that said she completed community service on September 25th, but we obtained evidence that she was in New York that day."