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A New Book About Sex, Geared For Toddlers And Up

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 May 2009 17:08:00 GMT

Last year, a 1992 book about sex for kids, written by Narelle Wickham, was re-released with little notice.

That's all changed now that Focus on the Family has found out it contains positive messages about same sex marriage, artificial insemination, and a whole host of other "adult" issues. Oh, and it's being marketed for toddlers...

One ad for the book describes it this way:

It includes simple age appropriate descriptions of sexual intercourse, donor insemination, In Vitro Fertilisation and Gamete Intra Fallopian Transfer, as well as pregnancy, birth, adoption, surrogacy, and same-sex parented families. A pioneering book when first published to wide acclaim in 1992, this new edition is now printed in full colour and includes updated content.

That's not how Focus on the Family, America's greatest source of disturbing press releases, sees it:

The controversial publication, Where Did I Really Come From?, also features a drawing of two gay men holding a baby, in a chapter about surrogacy.

The publisher's marketing spruiks the book, which includes in-depth descriptions of sexual intercourse, as suitable to be read to two-year-old children.

"It devalues the traditional family unit and at the very least desensitises us," Focus On The Family spokeswoman Deb Sorensen said.

In a chapter on assisted conception, the book tells children: "Sometimes, a woman really wants to have a baby but she doesn't want to have intercourse with a man. Some women want to bring up a baby by themselves, or with another woman, so the baby gets two mums.

"A woman may go to a doctor who will arrange to get some sperm for her, or a special man she knows may agree to give her some of his sperm."

The book was... relaunched by Learn to Include [publisher of books with positive gay characters and messages.]

Learn to Include's website says the book's "simple, non-judgmental explanations of sexual intercourse, assisted conception, pregnancy, birth, adoption and surrogacy are "suitable for 2-12 year olds". [News.com.au]

The best part of this entire book are these lines:

A woman and a man hug and caress each other, and the woman accepts the man's penis into her vagina. After a while lots of sperm come out of his penis and into her vagina.

Of course, the book does not get into what happens when the man cannot make sperm come out of his penis. Because that would be too much for a two-year-old's brain to process.

Med Student Dies From Legal Party Drug

18-Year-Old Boy Arrested in Most Bizarre Sex Tape Bust Yet

Want A Happy Marriage? Here's the Solution

While You Were Sleeping: The Top Gunning Lesbian

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 16:09:00 GMT

Great news, everybody, swine flu has not affected The Real World: Cancun.

This time, Sean Penn is the one to file for a separation.

A high school marching band member fended off a robber with her baton.

Check out the senior citizen sisters' heroin operation.

A teen prostitute in Sweden claims she was forced to have sex with over 500 men.

Elizabeth Edwards says her husband John should not have run for President a second time, especially after that whole idiotic affair fiasco thing.

A FEMA coloring book features a 9/11 image.

David Blaine is teaching Mia Farrow how to starve herself for publicity.

And Kelly McGillis came out of the closet.

While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Strip Show

While You Were Sleeping: Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape Is Inspiring to Young Girls?

While You Were Sleeping: Facebook vs. Lesbians

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:06:00 GMT

Don't forget to right-click the links to open them in a new window...

The latest victim of Fox is Pedro Almodovar?

It's almost impossible to get a perfect score on the SAT-- how impossible would it be to get perfect scores on the PSAT, ACT, and SATs?

We wonder why this worm sign fail isn't as common in Louisiana. And, by the way, we had a great first weekend of Jazz Fest.

David Letterman wants to see Lauren Conrad's rumored/long-awaited sex tape.

That meanie Miss California is now a folk hero among ignorant religious bigots.

The latest worldwide fad: that fun-lovin' swine flu thing.

90% of teenagers have cell phones these days, effectively making the previous generation the last one to prefer the physical presence of their friends.

Madonna is the hardest workin' mama in the biz.

Does Facebook have something against lesbians?

The TV couple you hate the most were legally married on Saturday in Pasadena.

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Breastfeeding

Skinny Blonde Beer As Misogynist As It Is Gimmicky

Jane Lynch Is Glad Ellen Came Out So She Didn't Have To

Emily Farris — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 17:39:00 GMT

VIA THE REMOTE ISLAND: Jane Lynch, of Christopher Guest hilarity and infamy, has had a quick and thunderous rise to comedic success over the last fifteen years or so. But where was she before that? Watching Glee, it's hard to imagine why any casting director would pass on her brilliant brand of funny. In a chat with Jesse Thorn on The Sound of Young America, Jane explains why she really didn't work until 40.

But that's not all she talks about.

Interview highlights include: Why Jane can’t walk down the street unmolested, what happens when she auditions for male roles, and why she’s so glad Ellen Degenerous took one for the team.

Read more...

With Most Teachers Already In Jail, Principals Getting In On The Student Sex

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 19:10:00 GMT

Yes, we're exaggerating a bit when we claim "most" teachers are in jail for sleeping with their students (or other underage kids.) But it's no great lie to say that it feels like at least twice a day now that we're hit with another rough set of allegations about teaching staff going hog wild in locker rooms, parked cars, or on classroom desks.

Brookann Collier, a 32-year-old from Santa Maria, California, decided that she would be one of the few to get away with it...

Collier is was a principal at Tunnell Elementary School in town, which is where she met a 14-year-old that she slept with for almost five years. The victim, now 20, since graduated from both the elementary school and a nearby high school, but that doesn't mean Collier was off the hook. While many grown men claim they "wish" something sinister like this had happened to them in their glory days, there's an usual twist here:

The victim is a girl. The rumor is she wasn't a lesbian at all and continued the relationship under force. Either way, Collier is charged with child molestation because the victim was under 15 at the time of the first sexual assault. The accused posted the $100,000 in bail and is now out on the street.

Image via here.

Related:

Huge High School Sex Investigation Ends In Single Arrest... A Lesbian Teacher

Shockingly, This Teacher Did Something Inappropriate to Students

Jersey Girl's Torrid Love Affair With An Eighth Grader

Sex Ed Class Enjoys Naked Man Parade

Amazon Rank Fail

Colleen Kane — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 16:17:00 GMT

My journalism professor used to say, "never get into a battle with someone who buys their ink by the barrel." He was referring to newspapers, but the same could be said in the firestorm of writers (and readers) versus Amazon.com, which arose over the weekend.

Many writers, editors, and publishers of erotica as well as GLBT and sex-related books, including Scanner's friend Rachel Kramer Bussel, noticed that the Amazon sales rankings of books they had written, edited, or published had disappeared as part of their new adult policy. Hundreds of titles had been affected.

When books are deranked, they no longer come up near the beginning of search results, even if they're a popular-selling title or a classic like Lady Chatterly's Lover, and hence, they are hidden from potential buyers. It appears that the books have been selected for deranking due to their sexual content, or in the case of gay titles, simply due to the tag "gay," whether or not sexual content appeared in the books themselves.

Word quickly spread via Twitter with the tag # amazonfail, and throughout Amazon online superstore itself with the tag amazonfail, which users added onto the listings for books that had been de-ranked.

Amazon's response to those who have emailed to complain is an additional fail.

Amazon is now denying having a new adult policy (though one blogger documents it here), and claims all the books that just happen to have "sex" or "gay" as tags were deranked due to "a glitch" in their system.

No one is having that explanation, and The Guardian's story on Amazon rank fail-gate noted inconsistencies like this that go to prove the claims:

The 2003 paperback edition of Fry's autobiography Moab Is My Washpot, which Amazon tags as "gay", is unranked, whereas the original hardback , filed under "memoir", has a ranking.
The New Joy of Sex, an updated version of the 70s classic, which is filed under the subject "sex/sexuality", has lost its ranking, while the original edition (subject "love/sex/marriage"), from 1974, is ranked. DH Lawrence's Lady Chatterley's Lover, meanwhile, is now unranked.

As of this morning, some titles have been relisted, but many have not. If you're as pissed about this as we are, sign this petition and register your disapproval on the internet however you usually do so. More coverage here.

Related:

Amazon's "Girl Scout Cookies"

Amazon Giving Away Lots of Great mp3's

Rape Simulation Game: Wheee!

This Week in Gayness: Aubrey O'Day May Be Gay

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 17:36:00 GMT

Ha ha-- Ken Starr is now forced to argue "whether it's legal to divest rights from a group of people." In this case, straight, married Californians.

Married Massachusetts lesbians made national news this week when one, clearly intoxicated, attacked the other with a turkey baster allegedly containing the attacker's brother's "sperm," in an attempt to impregnate her by force.

The religious wacko Obama appointed is meeting with Concerned Women for America and the Family Research Council-- guess who they're concerned about?

In a bold move yesteday, 38 graduates of West Point Military Academy came out of the closet to help support the gay movement in the army.

Bob Dylan's new album comes out at the end of April. Until then, we can only stare at that surprising, teasing cover and its already-famous gay kiss.

Nigeria, instead of fighting ripoff artists, wants to focus on punishing married gays and lesbians with three-year prison terms.

There were was an all-inclusive St. Patty's Day Parade in NYC over the weekend.

Aubrey O'Day may have come out of the closet to MTV.

Ending on a positive note as usual, the high school lesbian who was banned from wearing a tux to her prom will get her wish after all.

The Gay Marriage Debate Rages on in California

Moran Suggesting We Need To Get Rid Of Obama

This Week In Gayness: Sean Penn vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Sloppy Seconds: Yet Another Lesbian Teacher Scandal

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 21:44:00 GMT

We thought Sunshine Cleaning might be good until we read this round up. Verdict: it's a rental.

Hundreds of thousands of people were willing to overlook the fact that they were financing the lifestyle of a child molester: all 50 or so Michael Jackson concerts are sold out.

This idiot juror may have cost someone a verdict of $12.6 million by Tweeting instead of paying attention to the trial.

Another teacher busted for having a lesbian relationship with a student. These educators will never learn.

The Heathers musical: good or bad idea, in theory?

What do you do if your mom catches you jerking off? The answer probably isn't punch her in the face and get arrested.

Here's one we haven't heard before: in Russia, a baby was born with two penises. That kid with the penis on his back has a new friend!

Ask Andy: Birth Control

Penis, Penis, Peanuts

Today in WTF: Penis Extenders Actually Work?

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About "Horrific Beetle Sex"

This Week In Gayness: Sean Penn vs. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:31:00 GMT

Is former New York City Mayor Ed Koch gay? Does anyone even care at this point?

Scariest hate crime suspect of all-time? This guy: "So I killed somebody - that makes me a bad guy?" We're against the death penalty, so let's hope he gets brutally beaten in prison every day for the next fifty years.

Lesbians in Massachusetts are suing the US government because they aren't allowed to check "Married, filing jointly" to save money on their taxes. (See similar post from yesterday.)

The Family Resources Council thinks prosecuting hate crimes is the same as prosecuting people for thought crimes. Yes, because when you drag a lesbian out of her car, rape her repeatedly for being a lesbian, beat her up and leave her for dead, you're only thinking it.

James Dobson is retiring from Focus on the Family. But we won't forget about him.

Our idea of a good time might occasionally involve a gay bar, but never when we're in Galveston, Texas.

All Sean Penn wants is to make Harvey Milk's birthday Harvey Milk Day. It's the least Gov. Ahnuld could do, right?

Meanwhile, California is doing what it can to stop Prop 8. First, the legislature did this. Tomorrow, the state will be in court to do this and hopefully help these people.

The next Mormons versus the gays battle? This time it'll be over civil unions in Illinois.

Related:

The Gays Fought The Law, Too Early to Tell Who Won

This Week in Gayness: Don't Ask... Just Don't Ask

This Week in Gayness: The Homecoming Drag Queen

Barack Obama's "Gay Sex Scandal" Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Sloppy Seconds: Wanda Sykes Says "I Do"

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 01:11:00 GMT

We usually wait until we have a mid-week lull to watch Flight of the Conchords (On Demand, baby!) but we're going to watch it as soon as we're done writing this post just so we can see the "Garfunkeling" in better quality. Also, why is it that Jemaine is the only one ever getting laid? [Jezebel]

A woman who was pulled over for breast-feeding her baby while driving gave a TV interview about it while breast-feeding her baby. She said the baby wasn't willing to wait for the milk at that time (when she was driving, and apparently also when she was giving the interview). Um, okay. [WLFI]

Umm... Skittles are now Twittering. Taste the rainbow? (Is this how Twitter is going to make money?) [TechnologyExpert]

Jennifer Aniston is still talking about her divorce from Brad Pitt. But to be fair, if we were her, we probably would be, too. [Jossip]

Rumor has it Lindsay Lohan's friends are now on Lilo death watch. [FadedYouth]

Recently-out Wanda Sykes has teamed up with a California non-profit to educate the public on equal marriage. [AfterEllen]

Teacher In Lesbian Sex Scandal Story Not Helping...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 15:16:00 GMT

This is the face of terror. Or it could be the face of true love. (Either way, could the cops have made this mug shot any more like a documentary on the Hale-Bop cult?)

Angie Fetty is a thirty-four-year-old English teacher in Pennsylvania and now an accused sex offender. Unlike most of the alleged criminals profiled on this blog, Fetty is a female accused of sleeping with another female, in this case, a sixteen-year-old who may or may not testify against her lover.

But it's not the fact that this is a lesbian sex scandal that caught our attention... it's the bizarre saga at the root of the case.

Turns out Fetty wasn't very discreet with her encounters with the student. First of all, how does a sixteen-year-old girl get to stay over her teacher's house every night-- or at least several times per week, according to the report? Are the parents pulling all-nighters at work or something? In any case, these two thought they could hide their love away by kissing and parting at the bus stop, leaving the teacher to drive to school and the teenager to ride the bus, as if this would throw off the "scent" or something. Apparently, Fetty didn't know that her neighbors are, for the most part, not blind and, of course, the rumors ultimately made their way to the school.

This is the second lesbian teacher sex case in the last few months-- that one also featured some weird sleepovers and incredibly oblivious parents. Here's what we said about that case:

It all started when Thompson [the teacher] proposed the 14-year-old girl go to lunch with her. It soon escalated into sleepovers and racy text messages... while Thompson continued to be married to her husband. (Didn't he think something was strange when his wife kept staying over some kid's house?!)
"...But the couple were found out when the parents discovered them having sex one evening. Their reaction was simply to request that their daughter keep her door open when she had visitors. Thompson’s husband also walked in on the pair when he came home from work earlier than expected one day. [Bild.de]"

Who knows? This might even become a trend...

More about the case here.

Related:

Hot Teacher Caught After Three-Year Affair With Female Student

Today in Teacher Sex: One Does It On The Floor, The Other Runs Off to Mexico with Her Boy

Today in Teacher Sex: Louisiana and New York Pervs Reach New Heights

Crush of the Week: Carrie Brownstein

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 23:17:00 GMT

Carrie Brownstein, let me count the ways: hot, lesbian, in a sexy lesbian hard rock band (currently on hiatus), blogger, indie, participates in hilarious podcasts for NPR's All Songs Considered, hot, hot, hot.

(The fact that she dates women in no way affects our adoration one way or another. We just wanted to mention it as a way of explaining why we don't just shut up about her and use our connections to land a date.)

If you still consider her to be "in" rock and roll, then perhaps you'll peruse these photos and agree she's one of the sexiest brunettes in rock and roll.

Brownstein landed on the national map in the 1990s (holy shit, that was a long time ago at this point) thanks to her membership in the indie rock trio Sleater-Kinney, eventually landing in Time Magazine as its Best Band In America at the end of the decade. We first fell in love with Carrie after purchasing Dig Me Out and gushing over the adorable booklet photos of her-- oh, and the music was all right, I guess.

Seriously, Sleater-Kinney has always been a seriously entertaining band, and, many would argue, an explosive live act (see below evidence.) Therefore, we were forced to do a bit of scrambled readjustment when Monitor Mix first appeared on the NPR website.

"My hopes for Monitor Mix are that it will be descriptive as opposed to merely prescriptive. I would rather discuss and examine what it is that people actually consume than to tell you what you should be listening to." [Wikipedia]

How intelligent, especially for a rock star. Then, she had to go one-up herself with these excellent podcasts for All Songs Considered, in which she joins other NPR music staffers in goofing on each other and playing Ramones and Gerbils songs, plus a brief interlude of "All By Myself" until they can't keep a straight face anymore. Adorable.

And don't get us started on this comedy team she put together with Fred Armisen... it's making her look even more awesome than we thought possible... like Smittens wore by two seven-year-old lovebirds...

Related:

Your New Favorite Mexican Boy (and Man) Band

Top 10 Breakup Songs

Top 10 Sexiest Album Covers of All Time

Top 10 Cover Songs of All-Time

The Saddest And Most Hopeful Story in Rock & Roll

People are Talking About Beth Ditto's Nude Magazine Shoot

Colleen Kane — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 18:48:00 GMT

Beth Ditto, singer of the Gossip, just became more badass by baring her ass for the cover of LOVE magazine.

It's not the first time-- she's also appeared nude on the cover of NME, who she told women weren't to blame for the size 0 ideal.

"Blame gay men who work in the fashion industry who want these women as dolls. Men don't know what it feels like to be a woman and be expected to look a particular way. The Beckhams are part of the machine; Paris Hilton is part of the machine."

Beth has stripped for On Our Backs as well. A post about this on Perez Hilton inspired 533 comments so far that we shan't read, presumably many of them pejorative and semi-literate, and 270 on Popeater.
Thoughts?

Related:

Top 10 Hottest Women Size 10 and Up

Hot or Not?

We Feel a Little Better About the Three Fried Dough Balls We Ate at Dinner

While You Were Sleeping: Woody And the Scarlett-Penelope Makeout Scene

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

How does a man "accidentally" castrate himself and flush his own penis down the toilet?

Robin Quivers has some diet tips for you that sound similar to everything else you've heard, except they worked for her.

It's nice to see that Etta James is as crazy as we remember her from a 2008 concert.

Are you an ex-masturbator? We are-- although only from this moment until the moment after this post is complete.

Don't miss John Cleese on Jimmy Kimmel.

Barry Bonds plead not guilty to charges of perjury. Does this guy ever stop lying?

Joe Satriani won't have his goons stalk Coldplay at the Grammy's.

Michael Phelps has been suspended from swimming and lost his Corn Flakes deal. So what?

And Woody Allen wasn't even there to witness Scarlett and Penelope make out. Huh? What kind of director misses that scene?

Why You Should Never Deny a Kansas City Man His Ice Cream (Hint: You Will End Up Dead)

While You Were Sleeping: Another American Cheater Unveiled

While You Were Sleeping: The Naked Flash Mob Protest

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Here's a program we can get behind: putting the sex back in sex ed.

Kids say the darndest things to Obama. The best one is the kid who says Obama gets to run around like "a maniac" in the Oval Office.

Damn, this Verne Troyer dude has a buttload of sex. Check out the latest story on his escapades:

Troyer, along with one of his randy mates, were at porn baron Hugh Hefner’s Hollywood Playboy mansion in 2005 when he took part in the all-night five-in-a-bed romp with the three gorgeous girls. [He] told News of the World: “I love the mansion and have had some of the best nights of my life behind its walls. I’ve been so many times and it never loses its appeal—but why would it? ...I didn’t just pleasure one Playboy Bunny, I pleasured three. And it doesn’t get much better than that. I watched while they touched each other, then me and my friend joined in. I know exactly how to make a woman feel like a woman. I know the spot, and I’ve got plenty of inches where it matters. I know what women want and it’s me.”

Maybe so, but his vindictive ex says those "inches" are a stretch.

Watch out, guys. In case you didn't know, demanding your wife get freaky with another woman can spell the beginning of the end for your relationship.

Devo is headlining the 2009 SXSW.

Will Bush pardon Scooter Libby and Ted Stevens today? By the way, don't forget that, amidst all this hoopla, today is George W. Bush's last day in the White House, woo hoo!

There was a flash mob protest over the weekend at London's Heathrow airport. If anyone has photographic evidence of the multiple nude incidents, please send them to scanner@nerve.com.

And Terry Gilliam is putting the finishing touches on the final Heath Ledger movie, a job he finds incredibly difficult to push through.

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This Week in Gayness: Being Gay Is A Choice, Say Repuglicans

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:17:00 GMT

We're really sick of Tim Kaine. First, he botches the Democratic response to the State of the Union in a year when he could have turned the tide away from that dreadful President of ours; then, he decides he wants to be the next DNC chair. Now, this ass-backwards dweeb is going to help lead the party away from progressive values like, for example, marriage equality. Kaine, according to Queers United, "has endorsed an amendment banning same-sex marriage. Click here to ask why LGBT democrats should support a party whose chair is anti civil unions and more anti-gay than John McCain."

The guy who stole the 2004 Presidential election in Ohio thinks being gay is a choice. We don't even know where to start with his fucking scoundrel.

Speaking of elections, a gay bishop is to open Obama's inaugural weekend festivities.

Two hotel staffers in Tennessee were fired shortly after a former employee informed the boss of their homosexuality.

Don't miss the National Lesbian Health Summit in March.

Not satisfied with a statewide ban on same-sex marriage, one assmunch is attempting to outlaw domestic partnership benefits for gays in Tampa, Florida.

Brad Pitt reiterated his support for gay marriage and reminded us he and Angelina won't get married until everyone can.

And Proposition 8 supporters are freaked out about boycotts-- they're suing to try to keep the donation info private. In fact, we wish we could publish a complete list here of all the people who donated-- it's freedom of information, they shouldn't be ashamed...

Related:

We've Changed Our Minds, We're Against Gay Marriage

This Week in Gayness: The New Transgender Minister

This Week in Gayness: Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke Get Personal

This Week In Gayness: Straight Man Sues Over Homophobic Taunting

This Week In Gayness: The Coming Out TV Series

Cops Stripped Of Duties After Wild Hooker Party

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 18:53:00 GMT

Imagine you're a cop in Australia. How is it possible you're able to carry out your duties with the high-quality gene pool there?

Who could blame the cops in the country's Northern Territory for growing restless while on patrol and stopping off at the Hooker Ball for a grope and grind?

According to the local media in Darwin, NT, the two cops were removed from street work after compromising photographs turned up from an annual pimps-and-hoes-themed costume party in the sleepy capital. They were supposed to be checking the club for crime, drunken antics, and proper licensing, but instead got a couple of lapdances and delivered one or two spankings. What, does Darwin want its cops to be asexual or-- worse-- un-fun?

As these pictures prove, the coppers had no other choice. They should be exonerated.

Sloppy Seconds: Prostitution Is Now Rape in the U.K.?

The Second Life Divorce Gets Funnier After The Split

10-Year-Old Boy Is the Lone Protester of Nude Sunbathing

The Cleveland Cavaliers Cheerleader Photo Scandal Is Silly, Still Hot

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 20:48:00 GMT

This wouldn't even be a scandal if the cheerleader in question wasn't in the tub with another naked woman.

Although who are we kidding? We'd post these photos with or without a legitimate reason.

Seems this cheerleader for the Cleveland Cavs (that's a basketball team, you nerds), which whipped the asses of the New York Knicks last night, is overshadowing star player Lebron James with some unwanted publicity of her own. The blog The Dirty and nude connoisseur Don Chavez have hunted down the risque photos that have caused an uproar in Ohio's world of non-competitive cheerleading...

Without further ado...

The Top 10 Yahoo Searches of 2008

9-Year-Old Boy Teaches You How To Pick Up Girls

We Present... The Cougar Perv

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: The Top 5

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 21:17:00 GMT

Today, we conclude our list of the 50 sexiest movies ever made with these five explosive favorites, voted on, in part, by you...

For 10-6, click here.

5. If These Walls Could Talk 2. This sweeping lesbian love saga was a bit too Lifetime Movie Of The Week for our tastes, but the Emmy voters loved it: in addition to giving a Best Supporting Actress statue to Vanessa Redgrave, voters awarded this HBO sequel with three other nominations in leading categories, including Best Made For Television Film. Not only is it a strong and passionate artistic achievement, there are, of course, many sexy moments: from Chloe Sevigny and Michelle Williams making out in front of a stunned male neighbor to Sharon Stone and Ellen Degeneres exploring every inch of each other. We mentioned this film and the Sevigny-Williams sex scene in an unrelated post on Friday, with the post and NSFW clip here.

4. Mulholland Drive. When we went to a New Orleans Film Festival advance screening of this film, people were leaving the theater in droves about midway through. It took us a minute to realize they were all going to the bathroom to play with themselves thanks to the film's unbelievably sexy love scenes between Laura Harring and Naomi Watts. See below for a teaser or click here for the full scenes.

3. Secretary. This movie could have been subtitled: "Work and other sadomasochistic activities." Maggie Gyllenhaal is spanked, made to crawl on the floor while carrying paper in her teeth, and to fall in love with James Spader. And, more importantly, she enjoys every minute of it. Depsite the ridiculous Sleeping Beauty-esque climax, it's not the least bit surprising this movie rose above the independent pile-on of the early 2000's to become a mainstream DVD smash.

Secretary - Spanking Scene

2. Basic Instinct. Can you believe that some moviegoers were unsure who the killer was? SPOILER ALERT: It was Sharon Stone, you bleeding idjits. On a lighter note, the most memorable nude scene in move history almost didn't happen-- after all, it wasn't in Joe Eszterhas's infamous screenplay. And whenever you see Sharon Stone on TV telling you she didn't know the camera was going to be right between her legs? Laugh. [Very NSFW clip follows.]

Sharon Stone Crossing the Line

1. Sex & Lucia. Several of you suggested this film-- as if we could've left it off in our right minds! A lonely writer's craziest fan picks him up in a restaurant, takes him home, and gives him the best sex a human being has ever had, then stays faithful to him even after his untimely death-- while a guy with a huge dick tries to get in her pants. The sexual energy of this film is so unrelenting, it's impossible to watch alone without taking off your clothes. Watching as a couple? Forget about it. It'll take at least three viewings to get through the whole two hours. We don't want to spoil any of the raunch, so here's a trailer instead:

Honorable Mentions: The Fabulous Baker Boys, Wild Things, Sliver, Sherrybaby, Damage, Fatal Attraction, Last Tango in Paris, The Blue Lagoon, Nine Songs, Miami Vice, Harold & Maude, Indecent Proposal.

Previously: 10-6, 20-11, 30-21, 40-31, 50-41

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes - the Sequel

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 19:19:00 GMT

Following up on the promise made with the Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes, we present the sequel, which was already in production when the first one landed with a triumphant boom on the mass culture...

5. Monster. It took some serious gobs of makeup and inventive hairstyling to make Christina Ricci and Charlize Theron unattractive, but somehow the sex scene survives. Perhaps this is due to the previous scene, one of our favorite romantic moments on screen, in which the stars awkwardly discover each other while rollerskating and continue making out with extreme giddiness even as the crowd becomes nauseated. (And to the strains of "Don't Stop Believin''" to boot!)

4. Desert Hearts. Thanks to a nomination in our first Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes post, we've decided to include this cult classic (sex scene) in the followup, although we're not sure this is the hottest of the films two sex scenes. (If anyone finds an embeddable or even a linkable version of the other sex scene in the film, we'll take a look.)

3. Wild Side. Anne Heche is so believably lesbian in this sex scene with the great and sorely missed Joan Chen, it's no surprise she played gay in real life for a few years after. Once you've had Joan... you can't go bone? Something like that... anyway, enjoy:

2. Lost and Delirious. By special request, we've included this very, very sexy scene here-- only because it's able to overcome the whiny and distracting soundtrack tune. As Joe Cocker (a porn star name if there ever was one) said at Woodstock, "This title pretty much puts it all into focus."

1. If These Walls Could Talk 2. Again, we can tolerate the soundtrack for the chance to enjoy Michelle Williams and Chloe Sevigny devouring each other, first to a neighbor's delight (or it it horror?) and then to the strains of an obvious Melissa Etheridge song. With or without it, this scene rules.

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Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:44:00 GMT

In the future, we hope to show more from the Sopranos and the L Word, plus something from the Wire, but for now... here's the Top 5 Sex Scenes From Television Shows, Part One...

5. The Sopranos. Tony and his secretary at the no-show job he shows up for. Alicia Witt's sex scene is jealous of this one.

4. Weeds. We shared a great Mary-Louise Parker sex scene from last season with you. Now catch the followup, which may be even hotter, if that were even possible.

3. Tudors. We can't stand to watch more of this show than the following 40-second clip, but that has more to do with the acting "chops" of Jonathan Rhys-Meyers more than anything else. Natalie Dormer on the other hand... wow, look out.

2. Six Feet Under. "Shut up and fuck me" are the exact words we thought of before Rachel Griffiths utters them to end this all-too-brief clip.

1. The L Word. If someone finds a long-lost Pam Grier sex scene, please, we'd love to make this a tie at #1.

Click here for more free videos

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Hot Teacher Caught After Three-Year Affair With Female Student

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 18:00:00 GMT

Debra LaFavre was 28 when she had sex with a fourteen-year-old male student. And so it comes as no surprise that Anna Louise Thompson, a twenty-eight-year-old now-ex-teacher in Brisbane, chose a girl of the same age to engage in a whirlwind three-year affair.

This story features a twist so unbelievable, we were sure the media made it up...

It all started when Thompson proposed the 14-year-old girl go to lunch with her. It soon escalated into sleepovers and racy text messages... while Thompson continued to be married to her husband. (Didn't he think something was strange when his wife kept staying over some kid's house?!)

“They started to experiment with sex toys, lollipops, and wore collars.”
The girl’s parents had no idea what was happening and actually trusted the teacher. Thompson was treated like a member of the family and invited to birthdays and Christmas. She used to stay over at the family home and the girl would often spend weekends at her teacher’s house.

Um. Um... collars? Wait, keep reading, this gets kind of shocking in a hurry:

But the couple were found out when the parents discovered them having sex one evening. Their reaction was simply to request that their daughter keep her door open when she had visitors. Thompson’s husband also walked in on the pair when he came home from work earlier than expected one day. [Bild.de]

So, everyone's thrilled with this arrangement and live happily ever after, right? Wrong. After falling in love with-- gasp!-- a guy at her school, the then-16-year-old student reported her teacher to the proper authorities and... well, you can guess what happened next.

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This Week In Gayness: Lesbians Under Attack

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 17:40:00 GMT

Wanna know what Prop 8 supporters think of the gays now? Then check out this hate mail.

Utah may finally emerge from the Dark Ages if the Mormons are as good as their word(ed press release.)

Diego Luna and James Franco haven't convinced us they enjoyed kissing their male co-star...

"It was...dry."

That was Milk star Diego Luna, when asked how it was kissing Sean Penn, who plays iconic gay rights activist (and Luna's boyfriend the film) Harvey Milk. "[Sean]'s not a great kisser," Diego, who shot to fame in Y Tu Mamá También, continued bravely, as only non-Hollywood actors seem capable of. "I guess he was thinking about Franco." As in James, who plays Penn's other BF in the flick.

So I pressed Franco on how the hell S.P. smooches. He literally went on for five minutes talking about something else.... I insisted on a pecker report! "It was...fine," Franco finally answered, with a tiny smile. [E!]

Oooh, you tease us with those words "pecker report." Shame, shame.

Courtney Love has the sinking suspicion some people were against Prop 8 before they were for it. Or the reverse. Or something. Meanwhile, a third of the state's lawmakers are hoping the courts can do something about the new gay marriage ban in California.

Keith Olbermann pretty much puts it all into perspective:

And lesbians are under attack... in Canada. Please, we need to give all gay people in this country full legal rights on every level before this hate spreads to every corner of the globe. (Probably too late.)

"Which one of you two 'men' spoke to my kid? F------ dyke. Lesbians," he said, spitting in Dimitriou's face. As she wiped her face, eyes closed, he punched her on the cheek and wound up again, slamming her backward into her truck. As Currie ran toward him, she remembers him shouting, "F------ dyke bitches," and punched her on the cheekbone so hard the skin burst apart, blood splattering.
What Currie remembers most, from the afternoon of Nov. 3, is the stillness of the schoolchildren, and the sound of her six-year-old son screaming. "It was a face of complete and utter horror," Currie said in an interview yesterday. "His mouth was wide open, and he just stood there, screaming." [The Star]

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Caption This: Madonna and Britney, Reunited and It Feels So Good

Emily Farris — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:33:00 GMT

Image via Faded Youth.

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 21:05:00 GMT

You get a bonus 6th video this week, thanks to our being unable to decide between the two best scenes in a certain David Lynch movie...

5. Gia. Angelina Jolie rocketed to (semi-)stardom following her Golden Globe win for this hugely successful TV movie. There are many, many sex scenes in this film (could that be the reason it wasn't released theatrically?)-- we picked this one at random, but they're all worth checking out in their own ways.

4. Wild Things. This is more like an entry for "Top 5 Orgy Sex Scenes" or something, but there is some nice girl-on-girl, even if Matt Dillon does get in the way.

3. Better Than Chocolate. We almost included the jailbait-y Thirteen in this list, but nah. This is softcore porn for lesbians, sort of the cinematic L Word. We think that'll give you some idea of what's to come in this 4-minute clip, with the sexy stuff starting about a minute in...

2 (tie). Mulholland Drive. Still arguably the best movie so far this century, this scary-as-fuck freakshow grips you from the first frame to the widely-discussed last. Part of the reason is unquestionably these two sex scenes, one of which is our second favorite of all time. (We think you can guess which.)

1. Bound. Yeah, yeah. You saw this pick coming as soon as you saw the word "Lesbian" in our headline. Good for you. Now, settle down... we're trying to enjoy this...

Gina Gershon & Jennifer Tilly Lesbian Scene - Click here for more amazing videos

Runners Up: High Art, Thirteen, Monster, Showgirls and the Hunger (which we covered in our Top 5 Sex Scenes From the 1980s list), plus whatever you nominate in the comments section. Hell, we will probably end up doing a Part Two somewhere down the road...

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Sloppy Seconds: The Grey's Anatomy Lesbian Controversy

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 21:31:00 GMT

We're wrapping up early today so we can stay glued to the TV. Check out our election thread here.

The Examiner examined the worst celebrity magazine covers of all time. Guess how many are David Duchovny photos?

Another naked prank went wrong.

How the hell did this end up in a kid's Halloween candy bag?

When their children returned from Halloween trick-or-treating, a couple found suspected methamphetamine and $85 in cash among their 7-year-old son's Snickers bars and Skittles. Lars and Shelly Brosdahl called police, who confirmed that the substance was methamphetamine, worth up to $200 on the street. [AP/Yahoo]

An enraged husband and his two brothers got a drunk and cut off his dick as revenge for a supposed sex act committed with the enraged man's wife.

A man who raped a horse got off easy. (No pun intended, please!)

Brooke Smith's role as Dr. Erica Hahn on Grey's Anatomy is over. Do you think it's discrimination? The argument didn't convince us either way.

And the Kate Winslet-Vanity Fair photos Scanner Emily posted yesterday are causing the predictable controvsery. Airbrushed? Photoshopped? Who cares?

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Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 21:36:00 GMT

Barbara Walters hit on-- oh God, make it stop-- Michael Phelps.

McCain continues to close in on Obama in the popular vote... at least according to CNN and other journalists desperate for an angle. Meanwhile, Obama is way ahead in the Electoral College. (By the way, don't miss this newly-resurfaced story from the Chicago Tribune, published in 2006, about the chances of an Obama Presidential bid... and the glorious response, in its comments section.)

The Strollerderby shattered a myth about your boobs... letting us know that a new study

disproves the popular conception that nursing results in sagging breasts - a condition technically known as breast ptosis.
The real causes of sagging breasts, according to the researchers, are far less noble: increased age, higher BMI, number of pregnancies, bigger pre-pregnancy cup size, and smoking.

JuicyCampus.com, a controversial gossip site, may be getting banned at Georgetown.

There was a "naked lesbian bubble bath" on America's Next Top Model last night. Of course, ANTM does not air on HBO, so nothing to see here, move along.

After all that, Denise Richards isn't being put out to pasture.

And that nutjob who carved the "B" (backwards!) into her own face and said Obama did it is going to join R.P. McMurphy and The Chief.

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House Hotties Break Network TV Rules With Raunchy Sex Scene

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 14:31:00 GMT

Who woulda thunk Fox would be the network to air a groundbreaking (well, for network TV) lesbian sex scene? Well, that's precisely what's set to happen on Tuesday night, if this promo for the hit show House M.D. is to be believed...

Note that this video is NSFW, even if it is airing on (we can't get over it, so we'll say it again) the Fox Network:

Ironically, we posted a Who Would You Rather? on Friday that featured another medical drama's lesbian characters. We're pretty sure these two blow the Grey's Anatomy ladies off screen, even with a laughably fake scene like this one, at least on the pushing-boundaries angle...

Check them out for yourself and let us know.

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:51:00 GMT

Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama on Meet the Press. He pointed out the Senator is and has always been a Christian... and so what if he was a Muslim?

A gym teacher posed as a lesbian model to try to get his student to send him a nude self-portrait.

Jon Stewart has only one thing to say to Sarah Palin... and he can't say it on TV...

That's right... he tells Sarah Palin: "Fuck you." The full transcript of this almost completely garbled video is here.

Guess how much a tennis lesson with Andy Roddick costs? A million bucks, right? That's what you'd think, but not only is it a mere 15 g's, Roddick is throwing in a nudity option as well.

You know how much we love pranks.

The shortlist for the Oscars' Best Foreign Language Film nominees was announced, although we don't think many of them will see release in the U.S. for a while.

A man was charged with taking a leak in a police car and spitting on a cop. The man was, of course, butt naked at the time.

And a bunch of cheerleaders were busted for hitting the bottle before The Big Game. Wait, some teenagers aren't drunk the night before a big game? That's not the America we know and love...

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Video of the Day: That's So Gay PSA

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:12:00 GMT

We're firm believers in reserving the term "that's so gay" for things that are actually gay: Clay Aiken, Lindsay Lohan, marriage in California, certain penguins in captivity. That's why we're super excited about this new "Think Before You Speak" PSA from the adCouncil.

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