Scanner : las vegas

PapSmeared: Holly Madison Leads the Bikini Parade

Emily Farris — Fri, 15 May 2009 16:12:00 GMT

While You Were Sleeping: Nudist Hotel

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:19:00 GMT

A new series on Hollywood film directors appears tonight and it looks pretty good, if you're into that sort of thing.

Donald Trump says a decision on Miss California will come today-- as The Dirty prepares to followup with a second topless photo.

The X-Men movies are being spun off into a new series of stories starring, ugh, Ryan Reynolds.

Ladies, where were you? Nate Silver went to a party and had to stand there... all alone.

A forty-five-year-old woman may become the oldest person to have a boxing championship title.

Germany is planning its first nudist hotel.

Feministing discussed the attacks on Carrie Prejean and whether they are justified or just mean ol' "slut shaming."

Kiefer Sutherland will be charged with misdemeanor assault for head-butting a designer who decked Brooke Shields.

And Katy Perry once got (fake) married in Vegas.

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Sloppy Seconds: Free Boobs!

It's the Bondage Business for Two Pakistani Brothers

Emily Farris — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 17:51:00 GMT

Fresh out of college, and armed with only a computer, two Pakistani brothers were looking online, trying to start a business. When they discovered a sort-of straightjacket, they at first thought was used for psychiatric patients, the brothers quickly learned about the fetish industry. After being rejected by several Pakistani banks, the brothers secured a loan from an American bank.

Since 2001, the brothers have been manufacturing gag balls, lime-green corsets, thonged spanking skirts and other bondage items. Yet the employees don't quite know what they're making, or what they're making them for. Recently one asked about the purpose of a sleep sack—used for bondage—and was told it was a body bag for the American military in Iraq.

Now, Adnan and Rizwan Qadeer have a booming fetish business, selling products to sex shops and to individuals via ebay. Seventy, percent of their customers, according to their own market research, are middle-to-upper-class Americans, mostly Democrats.

"We really believe that if you are persistent and hard working, there is an opportunity, in any harsh environment, even in an economically depressed environment like Pakistan,” Rizwan said.

A major perk, they admit is attending international fetish trade shows. You know, to see how the products hold up.

“I go to Sin City every year,” said Rizwan, referring to Las Vegas in a sheepish laugh. It’s all business, he said. “Clients know our country and culture, and they don’t invite us to participate. We’re a little bit shy.”

[NY Times: Lacy Threads and Leather Straps Bind a Business]

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Tiffany Stalkers!

ABC News Finally Figures Out That the Internet is for Porn

Today in WTF: Seductive Farting

While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Strip Show

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:04:00 GMT

Christopher Hitchens recalls the night no one wanted him to get loaded, so he went to Hunter Thompson's house to get bombed and fire off some guns. Someone explain to me why life is worth living without that man in this world.

Tomorrow's South Park is about pirates.

An Australian town chorus posed nude for charity.

The Food Network Magazine benefits in this economy-- maybe because no one can afford food, so they decide to read about? Not sure on this one.

Madonna may have lied about paparazzi causing her fall from a horse. Ya think?

This guy is right about his water bill-- there's no way he used 300,000 gallons in one month... and he's also right that no one, not even a well-meaning anonymous donor should have to pay the price for the water company's clerical error.

Rumors are brewing that Lindsay Lohan is considering joining a topless revue. Man, the internet will believe anything Perez Hilton tells them, huh?

And Stephen Hawking is apparently in serious condition in an English hospital.

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Breastfeeding

The Best Topless Revue In Vegas Closes After 50 Years

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 20:03:00 GMT

On Saturday night, the Tropicana Hotel and Casino bid adieu to Les Folies Bergere, its legendary topless revue.

Today, we look back at 50 years of photos from the classic Showgirls-style dinner theater performance, which broke new ground for "tasteful" public nudity...

Beginning on Christmas Day of 1959, the show enjoyed nearly 30,000 performances on the Strip in Las Vegas, Nevada. It closed, some say, because people are more interested in the circus, magic shows, and Cirque del Soleil. The only show left featuring topless showgirls is the Bally's revue "Jubilee!" (Read more about Les Folies Bergere here.)

Sarah Palin Porn Ain't Goin' Nowhere, No Ho Ho Ho

Michelle Williams Strips, Seduces, Enjoys

Skinny Blonde Beer As Misogynist As It Is Gimmicky

Hey, At Least the Sex Industry Is Still Hiring

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 18:54:00 GMT

Laid-off bankers, waiters, bloggers, and other local degenerates are scouring Craig's List in search of Rent Money-- that down and dirty gig that will let them coast through this Great Depression in style.

The only thing they're finding are these ads from the sex industry, which itself is keeping Craig's List's sales department profitable...

Look good in latex? Join an extraordinary profession…

Reply to: job-tms4n-1099293875@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-03-30, 2:29PM EDT

We are seeking attractive, creative, college-aged females to join our team on NYCs most exclusive fetish and BDSM websites as webcam performance artists. This is a great opportunity for people who want to learn more about fetish and BDSM lifestyles. We do our best create a collaborative and educational environment where expressive and creative people can flourish. As a web cam dominatrix you will have potential to earn up to $90 an hour in a safe, clean and inspiring environment. Under some conditions we can offer a base pay to make sure you make money even if you don’t land any web cam sessions. If you think you have what it takes to be an online dominatrix and want to explore your wild side please contact us to set up an interview....

No sex or contact (everything is done online) and nudity not required but you should have an interest in S&M and be comfortable with your body. ...you can work from home or we can provide you space. No experience necessary -- we will handle training. Please reply via email with a brief introduction regarding your interests phone number and a photo....

Yes, we see these all the time-- but they're not usually the majority of the ads on Craig's List. (That would be sneaky posts by the Air National Guard.)

Male female models for Indian boutique - (Midtown West)
NBC/Casting-Looking 4 FUN NY,NJ, families w/kids-FREE TRIP/HUGE PRIZE - (Greater NY,NJ,Conn, Philly Area)
Bikini Babe Wanted to be Next Online Viral Star!! -
ADULT RETAIL STORE - (CONNECTICUT)
Wallpaper Magazine - Editorial/Art Project Seeks Interesting Subjects -
Looking for creative confident women - (Manhattan)
Make $5,000/mo ANONYMOUSLY in adult industry sales - (Midtown)

And that's just New York.

DANCERS / WAITRESSES -
Sell adult ent. on the Net! ---- 8 000/month -
DANCERS WANTED- ADULT ENT INDUSTRY -

Phone Girls Wanted-Adult Ent. -
Freelance Blogger - (Las Vegas)

If you land one of these jobs, we want our 10%-- Vegas Mafia-style. Hey, we need the money as much as the rest of ya's...

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Sloppy Seconds: Chris Brown's Mystery Woman Revealed

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:58:00 GMT

Hillary Clinton told everyone about falling in love with Bill Clinton. Of course, they only want to hear about how she fell out of love with Bill Clinton.

By the way, where did Rielle Hunter get the name Frances Bean from?

Young women mistakenly think men want potential female partners to drink them under the table. Got that?

Is the future of the conservative movement this woman? Whatever it is, we're getting tired of hearing that its next round of leaders are all women. After all, every one of them turns out to be a porn star (Stormy Daniels, Sarah Palin, and this Russian woman-- just check out that tiny photo near the top.)

Sienna Miller and Keira Knightley will battle for the love of Dylan Thomas in a new film. Winner, no matter what the historical evidence: Knightley.

A guy claims he successfully shipped himself from NYC to Vegas. We'd almost care except... he's a magician.

It always surprises us to see people driving along without a care in the world when their cars are wobbling violently from a flat tire. Turns out, they're probably wasted.

Why has it taken Congress so long to do anything to protect whistleblowers? What year did the Pentagon Papers come out again?

And the other woman in the Chris Brown-Rihanna story is revealed to be... his manager. (He may have had an affair with her at 16, Rihanna may have hit first, and a million other drops of bullshit that don't change the fact that he needs prison time.)

Woman Leads Cops Right to Her Liaison with Previous Victim

The UK Babies Having Babies Plot Thickens

Keira Knightley's Latest Nude Scene Kinda Puts Us To Sleep

Germany's Biggest Sex Scandal Comes To A Stunning Conclusion

How Much Would You Pay for Peeing.com?

Colleen Kane — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 21:47:00 GMT

An Internet domain name auction was held recently in Las Vegas, where Erotica.com sold for $850,000. SexyLadies.com went for nearly $30K.

Some of the more specific site names went for significantly less, but still in a few cases more than a lot of people make in a year.

FootJob.com: $53,388

Peeing.com: $31,000

Licking.com: $16,000

FootSex.com: $16,000

Just a little something to share with the grandkids someday: "In my day, FootJob.com hadn't even started up yet!"

Related:

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Like Wal-Mart for Boobies, Porn.com Now Open for Business

The Internet: No Longer for Porn

Via AVN

How Not to Use the Internet After Committing a Crime

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 14:46:00 GMT

Facebook and MySpace have been leading cops to crooks for years. Recently, one woman turned in a guy she was about to go on a first date with because she found discovered, via a web search, that he had an FBI warrant out for his arrest.

This story is the first case we've heard of where the suspect initially incriminated himself by performing a Google search...

A San Francisco investment banker with quite a history of DUIs was out driving on January 11th 2005 when he hit, and killed 55-year-old Gurdeep Kaur. Lee Harbert, the driver fled the scene.

The story that Mr Herbert stuck to was that he hit a deer. Releasing him from the need to stop and assist with whatever he had just ran over. Originally police reports were for a burgandy Jaguar, and Lee’s was black. No way it could have been him.

The cops weren't sure he was their man, since his car had been cleaned up...

Police later searched his house and computer. They searched his recent queries in Google and found these recent search terms: “auto parts, auto dealers out-of-state; auto glass, Las Vegas; auto glass reporting requirements to law enforcement, auto theft.” [Yeah, That's Odd]

But that's not what will ultimately convict the guy. Harbert's later search included the words "hit and run," followed by his looking up a news story about his own hit and run. Of course, we've heard plenty of instances of teachers, already arrested, being convicted of sex with underage students after their internet histories revealed such memorable phrases as "sex laws between teachers and students" and "laws against underage sex." But this is definitely the first case we can think of where a guy was arrested because of his internet searches.

By the way, the guy is now serving three years in the pen.

Related:

MI Teacher Wants You to Burn the Sheets After Hot Sex

Teacher Sex Craze Spreads to the U.K.

To Catch a Teacher, Brooklyn Edition

While You Were Sleeping: Mariah Carey's Big Movie Surprise

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 14:08:00 GMT

A topless revue that played the Tropicana in Vegas for almost half a century has shut down.

Crazy Courtney Love is "not anti-semitic," according to the Jews.

Remember that family that waited twelve years to report their adopted son's disappearance? Surprise, they are now facing murder charges.

Can you believe today is the last day of the Bush presidency? It all went by so fast... ha ha ha. Did you notice how we never once, in the eight years since he stole the election, referred to him as "President Bush?" He'll always be an asterisk to us.

Don't ever trust ultra-conservative Fox to live up to their ultra-conservative grandstanding when it comes to your naked photos-- they'll gladly exploit them for ratings.

Yet another reason Jimmy Fallon's late night show is gonna blow goats.

Here's the real surprise of the Sundance Film Festival: Mariah Carey is getting very strong reviews... and by strong, we don't mean "strongly-worded diatribes." Could this be the beginning of her biggest success of all?

And our new Mrs. Vice President reveals her husband was offered his choice of the #2 job or Secretary of State.

Naked Man Banned From Playing with His (Bowling) Balls

Wonder Woman Somehow More Wonderous If Covered in Body Paint

While You Were Sleeping: John Mayer vs. Jimmy Fallon?

Scanner Roundtable: If We Tweet, Will You Follow?

Emily Farris — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 21:19:00 GMT

"Scanner Emily just downed half a box of Thin Mints, does not feel thin."

Hey Scanner Readers. Some of you out there are geeky enough to Twitter, right? You see, we've been trying really, really hard to avoid Twittering. After our drunken, ill-fated, misspelled attempt in Vegas we decided we were pretty much done with it. But we never deleted the account and have been secretly, quietly, shamefully "following" people. Now that we log on, say, once a day to find out what the Tweet is up, we're thinking about maybe, possibly trying it out in the real world. Because as we just learned, we have no power over Girl Scout cookies, and apparently none over technology either. But, really, does anyone even give a flying Tweet?

Related:

It's Friday the 13th and Scanner Emily is About to Board a Plane to Vegas

How Internet Famous Are You?

Surviving a Plane Crash, via Twitter

Twitter Gets Hacked, Or: Exactly How Large Is Britney's Vagina?

Scanner Emily's Top 10 Lessons Learned in 2008

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 15:22:00 GMT

So this is 2009. So far, so good. We're going to use the next few days to accidentally write "2008" on everything and take a look back at the year that was. You can expect the top 10 Scanner posts of 2008 on Monday. But first, as promised, Scanner Emily's top 10 lessons learned in 2008, including—unfortunately—a repeat from last year. Seriously, how many times must we humiliate ourselves online before learning that drinking and Facebook do not mix?

10. Even when you think you're eating sort-of maybe healthily, you're not, you fat fuck.

9. Everyone has daddy issues, okay?

8. Always, always, always back-up what's on your computer (not that we've actually gotten around to it yet).

7. You can always go home.

6. Don't fool yourself into thinking the only way to get The Herp at summer camp is by making out with a hot co-counselor in the art barn. It is not. (And If you have to make jokes about being the oldest camp counselor in the history of the world, you just might be.)

5. It is possible to attend the costume party of your dreams and actually have a blast. If you have not yet experienced this, keep the dream alive and don't throw away those ruffly bloomers you've been holding on to for just such an occasion.

4. Whiskey will not make you a better roller skater. Well, it won't make you better at stopping, anyway.

3. Yellow tights are super unflattering and will get you weird looks even in the Bellevue emergency room.

2. Never, ever try to use The Facebook on your phoneputer while totally shit-faced drunk. (Yes, we thought we learned this one in 2007.)

1. If your ex-boyfriend asks if he can write an article about you for the local alternative weekly, say no.

Related:

Scanner Emily's Top 10 Lessons Learned in 2007

Five Things I Learned in Vegas

And They Said It Wouldn't Last

Scanner Emily's Burlesque Fantasy Comes True, Sort Of

Top 10 Ways to Avoid Becoming The Crazy Cat Lady

Top 10 Childish Things We Wish We Could Get Away With as Adults

Vegas Is Boring, So Thank God Atlantic City's Still Sleazy...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:46:00 GMT

Have you heard about the insanity that's going on in Atlantic City?

And no, we don't mean the usual drug-related shootings, OD'ing schoolkids, or half a dozen brothels being raided. We're talking about the City Council corruption scandal, which is finally over, having exposed ministers getting blow jobs from prostitutes, backroom deals, and entire families going down in an amusing public bonfire...

Here are the facts:

A Baptist minister was secretly filmed getting a blow job on a hotel room's hidden camera (which was inside a clock radio, creepily enough.) It turned out the minister was City Council member Eugene Robinson and it quickly became apparent that he was being set up for blackmail by the Council's President, Craig Calloway, who apparently didn't have enough power at #1. Even more strange: Calloway was busted by a DJ who received a copy of the tape from a man wearing something of a Mr. Potato Head getup: ridiculous glasses, fake facial hair, and protective gloves.

Now Calloway has been convicted of corruption and a conspiracy that involved two of his brothers, and will serve three years in a Federal prison. Meanwhile, the city is suffering financially as even casinos can't make a profit in these trying times. It also doesn't help that the most recent ex-mayor of A.C. famously went AWOL last year, resurfacing only to admit to a painkiller addiction and resigning.

In other words, if you miss the 70's Las Vegas and its pre-legalized prostitution underworld, buses leave for Atlantic City leave every 15 minutes from New York's Port Authority...

Related:

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Sloppy Seconds: Prostitution Is Now Rape in the U.K.?

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Video from Vegas: The Sarah Palin Lookalike Contest

Emily Farris — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 17:49:00 GMT

A strip club in Las Vegas held a Sarah Palin lookalike contest last night, and as you might expect a bunch of women with brunete up-dos flaunted American flag bikini's, shot guns and Tina Fey glasses.

Watch the video at TMZ.

Related:

How the Hell Did We Miss the Ashley Alexandra Dupre Lookalike Contest?

Sarah Palin Proves that Sparkles are Just as Important as Foreign Policy Experience

Photo Evidence: Tila Tequila Was A Vegas Call Girl

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:19:00 GMT

Hey, we don't judge anyone for trying to earn a living. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, we don't care if you smoke crack and jerk off while working as a telemarketer. (Okay, the telemarketing thing is uncool-- it's better if you get into burglarly instead.)

But we do report the news and this photo of Tila Tequila that supposedly proves she was a Vegas escort falls under that category, at least as far as our threshold is concerned...

The only reason we think this flyer, which a guy picked up from a total stranger in Vegas (no STD jokes, please), might be fake is the price: two girls for $79? Are those recession prices or pre-Tequila-MTV-fame prices? Because we can't imagine Vegas was that cheap even back then...

The original author explains that, once you call looking for the $79 special, the price immediately rises to $370. The call girl line operator hung up on when he explained that Tila and Suzette were probably one and the same. He never learned for sure whether Tila was just posing for the ad or actually worked for the hooker operation... or something else.

Until we uncover the truth, here's the full ad:

Via Spike.

Related:

Love Myself for Hating You: Tila Tequila

Sloppy Seconds: Why Should The Gays Thank Tila Tequila?

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While You Were Sleeping: Better To Be Fat And Fit?

New Orleans Politician Arrested While Getting-- How Perfect-- A Lap Dance

Anyone Else Glad To See Criss Angel And/Or David Blaine Go Down Like A Punch To The Gut?

Porn and Pasties: We Missed Out

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

"Porn and Pancakes..." "Porn and Pastries..." and the much-less-appetizing "Porn and Parents" (ouch.) Sounds like the agenda for a totally different kind of "#1 porn site..."

Unfortunately, it was a xxxchurch.com event, and an anti-pornography event to boot:

"Porn and Pastries" was part of an anti-porn weekend at the church that included "Porn and Pancakes" for guys and "Porn and Parents" on Saturday, and a "Porn Sunday" today.
Now, he says, his anti-porn site gets 300,000 to 700,000 visitors a month, depending on the publicity it gets.

Porn and Pastries was the first women-only event that the xxxchurch had done, as it stages more than 100 anti-porn gatherings a year, said Gross. [Seattle Times]

Of course, what Gross wouldn't say on the record was that 290,00 to 690,000 of those visitors were surfing for sexy nun videos. XXChurch, meanwhile, attempts to lead web users toward the Lord and away from Lord of the Cockrings. The event, held in Seattle by a Vegas-based Christian, drew hundreds of women, mainly between the ages of 20 and 40, all of whom paid $10 to hear stories of lovers scorned by porn-loving men. The message here: don't let your husbands look at porn or your lives will be ruined.

Although the message on xxxchurch.com's "Get Involved" page can be misinterpreted to encourage porn-loving:

See, if you think about it one way, it's a kind of Jesus Saves (Everyone, Including) Porn Stars... but if you read it the other way...

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Teenage Boy Busted For Receiving A Nude Picture Message

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Michael Phelps Celebrates Gold Medal Wins By Groping Strippers

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:44:00 GMT

Hey, he's a got a right to blow off some steam... and some other things...

Radar writer Neel Shah (yes, that's how he spells it) stumbled, perhaps drunkenly, on Michael Phelps' Vegas Vacation the other night and snapped some naughty photos of him...

Why are they naughty? Because, dude, you're not supposed to do this to strippers...

We're not sure what the rules are at The Playboy Club, where these photos were allegedly taken, but for the crime of sexually molesting a dancer, most people would've been taken into one of those infamous strip bar backrooms for a game of arm wrestling, in which customers always to Manny The Grip. Speaking of grips:

"It was unreal," says Neel. "Within moments of entering the club he summoned two girls over... I've never seen such an aggressive grip."

By the way, we're not saying he's a scumbag or anything, just pointing out that maybe we should look at this from the stripper's point of view. Rarely do they enjoy being touched, although in this case, they may have made a patriotic exception...

Via Radar.

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Sloppy Seconds: Woman Who Delivered Baby In Car For VP?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Would you guzzle five kilos of chili-spaghetti for fame and glory? In Ohio?

It's like the 21st century version of that football quiz scene from Diner: the videogamer who programmed his girlfriend's game to propose to her for him when she reached a high score has gotten married.

John Mayer is wisely avoiding dating celebrities, at least for now.

How do you end a two-month world tour in West Palm Beach? If you’re John Mayer, with a beautiful blonde cocktail waitress waiting in the wings. While stealing glances backstage at the striking blonde during his mic breaks, Mayer was definitely in party mode at the packed final show of the tour at the Cruzan Amphitheater...

James Gandolfini got married over the weekend in Hawaii. Strangely, we didn't hear any Fox News anchors attacking him for vacationing in this time of great crisis.

Why didn't McCain pick this woman, who delivered her own baby in her car, for VP?

Smokey and The Bandit star and singer Jerry Reed has died.

Kids in Chicago skipped school... to protest school funding.

Anything Gisele Bundchen does in a magazine is apparently news.

Anything Britney Spears doesn't do in Vegas doesn't stay in Vegas.

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While You Were Sleeping: The Last True Supermodel

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While You Were Sleeping: Obama Narrows His Choices

Vegas Presents The Erotic Heritage Museum

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News Anchor Fired After His Swingers Craigslist Ad Cracks Up The Office

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:59:00 GMT

A well-known Las Vegas TV personality was summarily fired Monday after multiple Craigslist ads surfaced showing the dude in the buff, seeking a guy or a girl for he and his girlfriend to go to town on.

But it wasn't the fact that Jeff Gradney had put up a personal (sex) ad that had people so upset... rather, the ad's photographic content saw to that...

While the offending ad has apparently been removed, we found a nearly identical one on the same Craigslist page, this time seeking women instead of men for a menage a trois:

We are a hot, intensely passionate couple looking for a hot woman to play with. You must be comfortable with yourself, playing with a man and a woman, and being watched by the woman while you use his cock! We'd LOVE to make YOU CUM OVER AND OVER!!! If you like having your feet played with that's a definite PLUS! We don't have a specific type so please send pics... and one of feet would be nice! We will respond within 24 hours, can't wait to hear from you!

Here are the photos that got Gradney canned:

It's the bottom right photo, allegedly of Gradney sticking it to the (wo)man, that upset everybody at the local ABC affiliate:

Gradney, who joined the ABC affiliate three years ago, was dismissed Monday, after a disgruntled employee sent management and staffers a Craigslist ad, a source said, that appeared to show the reporter having sex with his girlfriend. The ad read: "hot, intensely passionate couple looking for a cool guy to play with." [Review Journal]

It should be pointed out that we discovered the Craig's List ad without anyone's prompting and that it may not necessarily be the couple, although a photo (which has also been removed) from the ABC website, purportedly of Gradney, seems to match the shirtless gym shot from the above images.

By the way, doesn't this all seem a little silly? So what if the guy put up a teeny, tiny pic of himself, even if he is having sex in the photo? Because he's a news reporter, it's an automatic "no no"? And who's this person who narc'd on him?

See the ad here... until they take it down.

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Vegas Presents The Erotic Heritage Museum

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 15:17:00 GMT

A few weeks back, The Erotic Heritage Museum, dedicated to porny art, opened in Las Vegas.

Now that we've had time to look over some of its exhibits, we present a full rundown for your titillation...

Here are some of our favorite images, all from currently-featured artists:

The Museum was founded by Harry Mohney, an "Erotologist" (is that sort of like a proctologist, but with an even greater love of anal?) and Ted McIlvenna. They have scoured permanent collections the world over to bring you "the very best of erotic art." Their museum claims

celebrating our erotic heritage is one of the great spiritual movements of our time. To that end, the Exodus Trust [which houses the museum] is dedicated to seeking out, evaluating, acquiring and preserving sexual artifacts for future generations.

For the priviledge of leering at all this fine, fine art, you'll be charged $15 admission. Of course, seniors get in for $12...

Learn more here...

Middle images by François Dubeau.

Top images from Jacqueline Cooper's Well Hung exhibit at the museum.

Those Who Can, Do; Those Who Can't, Teach Porn Techniques...

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:10:00 GMT

In an interview today with Offsprung, porn star turned sex educator Nina Hartley discusses feminism, her weight, kids and masturbation, and how much she still loves sex...

Some highlights from the interview are below...

I try not to lie about things like [my weight.] I haven’t had a hysterectomy to remove my permanently enlarged uterus, either...
One good thing about the ever-smaller niches for porn is that there is more room than ever for a wider range of body types. Now there are ‘plumpers,’ who are bigger than the stick girls but smaller than the 200+ pounds “fat chicks” of yore.
First: my husband, who is also the writer/director of the Guides, and I love sex and have no ambivalence about what we do or what the mission objective is. Second, we hire only those who, gasp! actually like being sex performers.
As a sex-educator, I’m with you 100% on what passes for sex “education” these past few years.
Obviously, telling teens to “just say no” is useless. All the data point to the fact that abstinence-only kids have sex pretty much at the same rate as others but are less likely to use birth control or condoms and are more likely to engage in anal sex as a way to preserve “virginity.” WTF?!?!
Be very generous in how you support each other. If you don’t have the energy to fuck, can you “help” your partner by being present while he or she masturbates?
For all the sex I’ve had in my life, I continue to be surprised by it every time.

And boy, has she had it. Since graduating from nursing school (magna cum laude, mind you), Hartley has appeared in at least 400 pornos, plus her unforgettable cameo as William H. Macy's wife in Boogie Nights. Among her other accomplishments: defending the adult film industry on Oprah and this famous incident:

[S]he was arrested in 1993 in Las Vegas, along with 10 other adult stars (later known as the "Erotic Eleven"), for having performed a lesbian show at an adult video industry fundraiser; an undercover police officer was present in the audience. Threatened with six to 12 years in prison for felony lesbianism and pandering, she was eventually allowed to plead guilty to a misdemeanor.^[6]

Read more of the interview at Offsprung.

Sloppy Seconds: The Truth About The "Abusive" Paul McCartney

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:51:00 GMT

An earthquake this morning registered 5.4 on the Andy Richter scale and was felt from LA to Vegas and down to Mexico. There were no reported injuries as of post time.

Although he's charged with a DUI, Shia LaBeouf was not at fault for the car crash that flipped his truck. The other driver has been ticketed for running a red light...

PageSix claims Marc Jacobs has wed in Paris... and if you didn't know, he married...

his Brazilian boyfriend in a civil ceremony... which is not legally binding.

Other sources speculate that this is just a decoy move while Jacobs gets married elsewhere, away from the prying press...

Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johansson and Charlize Theron are to appear on a breast cancer telethon the night of September 5th.

We couldn't imagine Paul McCartney ever hitting anyone-- shit, could you imagine the guy who wrote "Yesterday" and "Maybe I'm Amazed" getting medieval on anyone? Now, Heather Mills' ex-publicist is speaking out and basically confirming what we suspected all along: the evidence of McCartney abusing his ex-wife was completely fabricated to help the wife's case.

We're pretty sure it's a fake of... something... but WTF is this photo Gawker posted?

You can download the Walkmen's excellent new album for $5, with all of the proceeds going to the cause of one hospitalized baby. The music revolution, indeed.

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Sloppy Seconds: Brad and Angelina and the French Brawl

We Do Not Want to Meet Carlizina Jolectron in a Dark Alley

Hot or Not? Scarlett Johansson's Fuzzy Nipple

The Results Are In: Who Would You Rather, Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman?

Hookers Are Getting Tricky These Days

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 20:16:00 GMT

In Ghana, fifty or more prostitutes drank, cried, and danced at the funeral of an 11-year-old boy, causing considerable public confusion. Why were these poor (and by poor we mean, Ghana-poverty-stricken poor) women in such an uproar?

Some of them who were virtually drunk would occasionally take to the floor and dance for a while, and then move to a canopy where a picture of the deceased was, look at the image and talk to it as if they could be heard by the picture.

DAILY GUIDE learnt that the deceased used to run errands for the call girls as they lived close to his house.

Mr. Bob Atua, a farmer and an uncle to Moses, told DAILY GUIDE that he was grabbed by an unknown woman when he went out to urinate and when he enquired from her why she had held on to him, she responded by asking him what he was doing near her room when he had not come to solicit her services.

Meanwhile, as Scanner Nicole reported earlier, American hookers are going through a crisis of their own: the Bush economy.

The first 100 customers who show up with their tax rebate checks receive twice the "services" for the price of one. "We always give our customers the most bang for the buck," he says. "You bring your $600 check in, and we give you the $1,200 George Bush party--three girls and a bottle of champagne." That's one way to stimulate the, um, economy.

Gray's Papaya would argue their "recession special" is a better deal, but this one's way more entertaining.

Seriously, though, Newsweek is reporting huge decreases in income for Vegas-area prostitutes, mainly thanks to the spike in gas prices. The average cost of diesel in the West is now

$4.87 per gallon. That means truckers could easily spend $1,000 to fill up their tanks, leaving them with little extra cash and less likely to take a detour. Yet, even brothels located in the south, closer to tourist-populated places like Las Vegas, are not faring much better.
Casino gambling revenue fell from $614.9 million in December to $517.5 million in March... Many brothels consider gambling direct competition for a tourist's discretionary dollars...

You know when the desperate are too desperate to gamble, the country is really headed in the wrong direction. Bring back Ron Paul, we say! He'll legalize everything, including genocide and Special K without a prescription, and everything will be like it is on Star Trek! Sorry, we don't know where that little rant came from...

More on the latest hookergate that doesn't involve politicians. Yet. Via Newsweek.

Photo via.

Sloppy Seconds: What Happens to Julia Allison's Nipple Does Not Stay in Vegas

Emily Farris — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:57:00 GMT

An album recorded by the band Chicago in 1993 is finally being released. Finally! [CNN]

PETA is PETA'd off (sorry, we had to) about that "real girls eat meat" t-shirt Jessica Simpson was sporting, and we actually happened to like. [dListed]

Confession: we didn't vote in the 2000 presidential election (even though we were old enough). Apparently, half of the people in our age group who voted in the primaries this year didn't vote in the 2000 primaries, either. See what happens when young people fail to vote? [MTV]

Uh-oh. Is the world really ready for the next Miley Cyrus? Too bad. [Jossip]

It appears that Anne Hathaway and her billionaire BF have split after four years. [MollyGood]

Someone else did a much better job of writing up the Vegas trip than we did, including Julia Allison's almost nipple slip. Though, a nipple got a boldface mention and we didn't? Boo! [Radar]

And we found possibly — and hopefully — the only picture of us in Vegas. Luckily, our face isn't showing. Neither is our nipple! Also. We are pale. [Flickr]

Related:

Five Things I Learned in Vegas

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Julia Allison

It's Friday the 13th and Scanner Emily is About to Board a Plane to Vegas

OMG: For the First Time, Like, Ever, We Totes Agree With Jessica Simpson

Crush of the Week: Ryan Gosling

Emily Farris — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:03:00 GMT

On the way back from Vegas on Saturday, our plane was temporarily diverted to a runway in Rochester because of bad weather in New York. While many of my travel companions were busy playing celebrity, I watched "The Notebook."

I'd seen the end before, not too long after a break-up. And after catching just the last fifteen minutes, I cried for three hours.

While I enjoy a good cry every once in a while, every time someone has tried "to Notebook me," I've refused. Three hours of crying should only happen when someone you actually know, in the real world, dies... or breaks up with you. But when you're stuck on a plane with few channels and nothing better to do (we know, we could have played celebrity or gotten wasted), sometimes a sappy movie hits the spot. And most times, Ryan Gosling hits the spot.

I'd already decided I wanted him to plant his seed me in after watching "Lars and the Real Girl," and after a full screening of "The Notebook," I was sure I'd found my purpose in life: getting Ryan Gosling to plant his seed in me.

And then I opened up my blog reader and had one of those Us Weekly moments: Ryan Gosling, he's just like us! He gets coffee for himself and other people! Which, of course, made me want him even more.

And for that (yes, "that" being getting his own coffee and being fucking hot), he is our crush of the week. Can you really blame us?

Related:

Five Things I Learned in Vegas

It's Friday the 13th and Scanner Emily is About to Board a Plane to Vegas

Sloppy Seconds: Are Ryan Gosling and Scanner Emily Wishing Underneath the Same Big Star?

While You Were Sleeping: Somebody Had Her Hands All Over Our Man Ryan Gosling

Golden Globe Nominees We'd Like to Make Out With: Most of Them

[Image]

Five Things I Learned in Vegas

Emily Farris — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:14:00 GMT

As many of you already know, Friday I was jetted away on a party plane to Las Vegas to celebrate the launch of Thrillist's Vegas edition. The best way I can think to describe Thrillist is Daily Candy for men.

I was skeptical at first. Party plane? Las Vegas? A party plane to Las Vegas? But after a few drinks I quickly warmed up to my new friends and even got all dolled up for the club (though I only stayed about 20 minutes).

But you know what I learned? You can put Scanner Emily in Las Vegas but she's still Scanner Emily... except when she's in Vegas she's not wearing a dirty t-shirt.. and that's something, right?

I learned a few other things, too...

5. Julia Allison is just as pretty in person.

I don't know how friendly she is because she didn't seem to want to talk to anyone who didn't have a camera, but yeah, she's pretty. And surprisingly kind-of normal sized.

4. SPF 15 is not enough.

Not even at 9 a.m.

3. What happens in Vegas stays on your ass.

After my drunk twittering, and before I lost $128 on the slot machines, I stopped off for what I thought would be a healthy dinner. I might as well have had a deep-fried burger dipped in mayonnaise and then deep fried again. I don't think there was any lettuce on my Thai chicken salad. But there was really too much dressing on it for me to tell.

2. Drinking and texting still do not mix.

Yes, I should have learned this lesson twice before. While I like to pride myself on my ability to, at the very least, spell check and keep anything I write mostly free of typos, drunk twittering makes me sound like a dumbass. "Hair jell?" Really?

1. I'm too old for Vegas.

While I had a lot of fun (thanks Thrillist and Jetblue!), I think I was the least drunk person on the trip. I did get drunk enough to misspell some shit, but I think I had a total of four drinks on Friday; many people were drinking at a rate of four an hour. A few years ago I would have gotten wasted just because the drinks were free, but I was thinking more about the way I'd feel the next morning and less about the fact that I probably could have gotten laid if I'd just poured back a few more. I got up early to explore the strip and waited in a line of about 40 people for an iced coffee from Starbucks. While everyone was recovering from their hangovers on the flight home, I kicked back, enjoyed a bloody Mary and cried hysterically while watching "The Notebook." Hm... maybe I'm not so old after all?

Related:

It's Friday the 13th and Scanner Emily is About to Board a Plane to Vegas

When Drinking and Technology Don't Mix: Scanner Emily's Facebook Faux Pas

I Hate Myself For Loving You: Julia Allison

Nevada Governor Sex Scandals, Part 226

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:30:00 GMT

Pictured above: Vegas showgirls, with a man who is not the Governor of Nevada, but might as well be.

The Governor of Nevada, called "the most scandal-ridden governor in the history of" the state, and alleged molester of a woman in a parking garage, is going through a divorce so messy, he's making Scanner Emily and the rest of Las Vegas cringe...

Jim Gibbons is accused of violating the sanctity of the Republican oath with this latest round of sordid details in his crazy divorce battle. (Gibbons, you'll recall, was accused of assaulting a woman in a parking lot in 2006.)

1) "The Republican politician has brawled over custody of his 23-room official mansion – Dawn eventually moved into the guesthouse – and been repeatedly accused of lying. The month-long case has shocked even residents of Nevada's largest city, Las Vegas."

2) There is an ongoing "FBI investigation into claims that he took illegal gifts – including a free cruise staffed by Bunny Girls – from a defense contractor while serving in Congress." It was worth if it was staffed by Bunny Girls. And fuckin' free.

3) "Mrs. Gibbons detailed [her husband's] 'infatuation and involvement' with the wife of a Reno doctor. She described herself as 'a castaway wife' who had been jilted by a man who 'succumbed to the wiles' of a rival. 'Lust is the real villain here,' she claimed." Sources say the latest Love Gov. "was spotted at a sushi bar with his alleged girlfriend, and also attended her daughter's high school play."

4) Later on, Gov. Gibbons took "a dark-haired woman to the film 'Sex and the City.'"

More on the messy details... from the UK Independent.

It's Friday the 13th and Scanner Emily is About to Board a Plane to Vegas

Emily Farris — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 16:02:00 GMT

There are a few perks that come along with being a blogger. Health insurance is not one of them. Nor is having a reason to shower every day.

But every once in a while I am reminded that I am not a smelly hermit, but a lovely lady with some lovely lady humps. I was recently reminded of this fact when asked to represent Nerve on a promotional trip to Vegas that begins very shortly.

Hosted by Thrillist and JetBlue, the trip is celebrating the launch of Thrillist's Las Vegas edition.

Don't know what Thrillist is? Neither did we. Apparently it's a newsletter with lots of good stuff for men. (See? Promotional trip already working.)

Anyway, they wanted someone with a vajayjay to attend so I, Scanner Emily, am the chosen one — much to the disappointment of my bepenised co-workers. In just a few hours I'll be jetted off to a liquor-fueled "epic 36-hour party." It's possible the plane will actually be fueled by liquor, too.

I have never been to Vegas, nor would I ever spend a penny of my own money to go, so this should be interesting, to say the least. I'll probably let myself spend $20 on the slot machines, then sit around card games trying to look interested while downing the free booze.

Because I love my computer too much to subject it to such shenanigans, I'll not be blogging from Vegas. However, I do want to make my co-workers really jealous and have some record of the experience if I happen to drink too much and black out. My only options were to either tape a camera inside my very minimal cleavage or set up a twitter account. I have very reluctantly done the latter.

If the posts start to get a little slurred and then fade to nothing, keep your fingers crossed I'm sleeping with a hooker. Just kidding! Maybe!

[Twitter: Scanner Emily, Live From Las Vegas]

Kevin Federline: Father of the Year?

Emily Farris — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 14:25:00 GMT

You know, the guy has put up with a lot. He was there for his sons when their mother couldn't be and he has a bunch of kids all over the place which ups his chances and...

Whew, the award is coming from a night club in Vegas. Total publicity stunt, right? We hope so because we don't think we could have come up with yet another reason K-Fed is a good father.

The club is throwing him a party, just in time for Father's Day, where we bet he'll be slipping his boys some booze under the table. But hey, we were always hanging out in Vegas clubs when we were toddlers and look how good we turned out?

But honestly, we really thought the award should have gone to Billy Ray Cyrus.

[Us: Las Vegas Club Names K-Fed 'Father of the Year']

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