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10 Sexiest Women Over 50 (Part Two)

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:56:00 GMT

We continue our two-part series with some of the screen's top stars... some of whom are still box office draws, despite what the media wants you to believe...

Helen Mirren, 63

Helen Mirren never has to worry about studly husband/director leaving her for one of his younger leading ladies, since none of them can hold a candle to her talent, classiness, sex appeal, and status as an Academy Award-winning screen legend. The above photograph of the star in her bikini last year lit up internet wires across the globe-- for example, our traffic went through the roof the day we posted it. Thank you, Helen Mirren, for being our muse.

Carly Simon, 63

It's been a long time since James Taylor spotted Carly Simon's "incredible long legs" passing by on a summer day in a small Massachusetts town. Since then, she wrote a song about him, "You're So Vain," (or was it Warren Beatty?), won several Grammy's, topped the charts a million times over, and developed a solo career that has long outpaced her (now ex-)husband's. Simon and her gloriously pretty teeth and, we're guessing, still-dynamo gams continue to record and tour... but not often enough.

Susan Sarandon, 62

Tim Robbins whined about not being able to vote as his regular polling site last November, which must've made him feel really ridiculous when he woke up the next morning and realized, "Holy balls! Forget all my troubles-- I'm still sleeping next to the babe from Bull Durham any Playboy's best boobs 1981!" Speaking of those marvelous mams, it's difficult to pull off a dress like that at any age, let alone hers, without causing a media (i.e. tabloid journalism) firestorm, but here she is in all her glory...

Meryl Streep, 59

If anyone out there worries about how their "looks" will hold up at the age of 59, just take a gander at the Before and After photos of Streep depicted above. She is one of the greatest actors of all time, rivaling Olivier and Hepburn, and draws hundreds of millions in box office every year as one of the biggest names on the planet. But more importantly, at least for our purposes here, Streep is somehow more beautiful than even in 1977, when we first saw her in Julia. Can a nude, comic romp in a "getting old and falling in love" movie with Jack Nicholson be far behind?

Pam Grier, 59

Can you believe there's an African-American actress in her fifties who made a major comeback more than ten years ago and is still a major star, albeit on television, as she approaches her 60th birthday? Well, you wouldn't know it from the media. The announcement that she was joining the cast of the Showtime series the L Word was met with little tongue-wagging. Of course, that all changed the moment we saw how drop-dead gorgeous she remains-- not to mention the collective sigh of relief when it turned out the show's writers weren't going to blaxploitate her into irrelevancy. We eagerly await her next career move now that the show is sadly off the air.

Crush of the Week: Lisa Batiashvili

Cindy Crawford: Still Naked At 43

Top 10 Feminist Icons... From A Male (Part One)

Top 10 Feminist Icons... From A Male (Part Two)

Top 5 Sex Scenes From TV Shows

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:44:00 GMT

In the future, we hope to show more from the Sopranos and the L Word, plus something from the Wire, but for now... here's the Top 5 Sex Scenes From Television Shows, Part One...

5. The Sopranos. Tony and his secretary at the no-show job he shows up for. Alicia Witt's sex scene is jealous of this one.

4. Weeds. We shared a great Mary-Louise Parker sex scene from last season with you. Now catch the followup, which may be even hotter, if that were even possible.

3. Tudors. We can't stand to watch more of this show than the following 40-second clip, but that has more to do with the acting "chops" of Jonathan Rhys-Meyers more than anything else. Natalie Dormer on the other hand... wow, look out.

2. Six Feet Under. "Shut up and fuck me" are the exact words we thought of before Rachel Griffiths utters them to end this all-too-brief clip.

1. The L Word. If someone finds a long-lost Pam Grier sex scene, please, we'd love to make this a tie at #1.

Click here for more free videos

Related (aka Other TV Show Sex Scenes We've Posted):

Lizzy Caplan And Her HBO Porn Show Still Terrible, Terribly Hot

Olga Kurylenko: "My Treasure Trove of Topless Photos Don't Count As Porn"

Top 5 Sex Scenes From Comedies

Mary-Louise Parker Breaks Toe, Films First Nude Sex Scene For Weeds

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes

Top 5 Lesbian Sex Scenes

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 21:05:00 GMT

You get a bonus 6th video this week, thanks to our being unable to decide between the two best scenes in a certain David Lynch movie...

5. Gia. Angelina Jolie rocketed to (semi-)stardom following her Golden Globe win for this hugely successful TV movie. There are many, many sex scenes in this film (could that be the reason it wasn't released theatrically?)-- we picked this one at random, but they're all worth checking out in their own ways.

4. Wild Things. This is more like an entry for "Top 5 Orgy Sex Scenes" or something, but there is some nice girl-on-girl, even if Matt Dillon does get in the way.

3. Better Than Chocolate. We almost included the jailbait-y Thirteen in this list, but nah. This is softcore porn for lesbians, sort of the cinematic L Word. We think that'll give you some idea of what's to come in this 4-minute clip, with the sexy stuff starting about a minute in...

2 (tie). Mulholland Drive. Still arguably the best movie so far this century, this scary-as-fuck freakshow grips you from the first frame to the widely-discussed last. Part of the reason is unquestionably these two sex scenes, one of which is our second favorite of all time. (We think you can guess which.)

1. Bound. Yeah, yeah. You saw this pick coming as soon as you saw the word "Lesbian" in our headline. Good for you. Now, settle down... we're trying to enjoy this...

Gina Gershon & Jennifer Tilly Lesbian Scene - Click here for more amazing videos

Runners Up: High Art, Thirteen, Monster, Showgirls and the Hunger (which we covered in our Top 5 Sex Scenes From the 1980s list), plus whatever you nominate in the comments section. Hell, we will probably end up doing a Part Two somewhere down the road...

Related:

Lizzy Caplan And Her HBO Porn Show Still Terrible, Terribly Hot

Some of the Hottest Women in the Country All Got Naked Together

Olga Kurylenko: "My Treasure Trove of Topless Photos Don't Count As Porn"

Top 5 Sex Scenes From Comedies

Lizzy Caplan, Not To Be Outdone By Anna Paquin, Takes It Off For True Blood

This Week In Gayness: My Boyfriend Won't Put Out

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 18:50:00 GMT

If your Dad is a fervent anti-homosexual zealot, best not to brag to his face about having come from the Pride parade.

What, you thought they'd let gay couples on the revamped "Newlywed Game"?

A woman who worked in the Georgia General Assembly claims to have been fired after telling her boss she was "going to live as a woman."

Guess which reality show host is joining the cast of "The L Word" for Season Six?

According to Michael Ausiello of EW.com's the Ausiello Files (Entertainment Weekly online) Elizabeth Berkley, who flirted with the L word during her Showgirls days, is joining the Showtime hit for a multi-episode arc. [Lesbiatopia]

Today is the day our do-nothing Democratic Congress will finally do something: they're planning to take a peek at "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

Unsurprisingly, the Lesbos of Lesbos island lost their cast against the, um, lesbos of the world. Nice waste of paper, kids.

A Turkish honor killing (aka hate crime), in which a 26-year-old gay man was the victim, shows no signs of any future bright spots: apparently, as is the case in most honor killings, the family left their son's body to rot and the boyfriend has fled the country after warnings from his consulate.

In a Dear Mona column posted today on About.com, one guy asks "Mona" why his boyfriend can say "I still love you" while abstaining from sex and watching a steady stream of porno. Is it a porn addiction or the relationship itself that's the problem? Read the response here.

LOL-Word Cats -- Oh Yes We Did!

Nicole Pasulka — Fri, 16 May 2008 16:45:00 GMT

LOL-Cats make us more than a little uncomfortable. The second we catch ourselves laughing at one of those "Can I Has Cheezburger" we feel a wave of shame and anxiety and have to immediately go outside and do some kind of "super-cool" activity like shop-lifting or blow.

But, now there are LOL-Word Cats. L Word stills that roam the Internet with incoherent (and inexplicably hilarious) messages scrawled all over them. We are totally, pathetically amused, but maybe it's just because we cheaped out, didn't renew Showtime and missed the whole fifth season of the show.

Oh yeah, and there are LOL Workout photos, too. There are so many lesbians on cable!

Porn Poll: How Do You Like Your Porn?

Katie Halper — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:30:00 GMT

The other night I was having dinner with some friends. Three were straight women and two were straight men (exciting, I know! Only in New York kids, only in New York!). Thanks to my ~~obsessive~~ frequent L Word references, the subject of filmed lesbian sex came up. I thought I knew about what kind of porn straight women liked. But I quickly learned that I had been wrong. I knew as much about what straight women want in porn as straight men know about what straight women want in general.

I had, up until this dinner, held the following porn preferences to be self-evident: 1) most straight women enjoyed lesbian porn 2) most straight women did not enjoy gay porn. Now, I am not saying these are innate porn preferences. In fact, I think that they reflect, to at least some extent, the way society sanctions performative lesbian sex within a hetero-normative context, which ultimately appeals to straight men; and the way gay homosexuality has not been incorporated into an acceptable heterosexual framework.

OK. Back to the dinner. My friend Sarah* complained about the way the boobs of L Word characters hit up against each other during sex. Beth and Nancy agreed. Richard and Peter and I disagreed, our assessment of boob bouncing ranging from not all offensive to "pretty hot" to "the hottest thing ever." The conversation was about to move onto Obama and Hillary when Sarah added, as an aside, "I hate lesbian porn. I hate straight porn too. But gay porn is hot." I dismissed my friend's penchant for gay man-on-man sex as atypical and fringe, and extrapolated that it reflected, at most, the porn pref of 1/6 of the of the world. I was about to resume my lecture on how hot Jeremiah Wright is regardless of his hairdo, when Beth muttered under her breath, as a throw away, "yeah gay porn is hot" and Nancy enthusiastically shook her head as she down her chardonnay. All of a sudden, the opinion i had dismissed as representing 16.67% of the population became a widely held gay porn preference shared by 50% of the world!

Based on my experience (ie the conversations I've had with friends and acquaintances) I had always thought that lesbian porn was the most universal porn, the porn most likely to achieve world peace by bringing together various populations, by uniting (at least some) lesbians, straight men, straight women, and trans who enjoyed lesbian porn. But now my plans for world porn peace are shattered. Do straight women enjoy gay porn? And disdain lesbian porn? Ladies, let me know! I actually need information from everyone in order to carry out an effective world porn peace campaign. So please, men, women, trans, queer, bi, flexual, lesbians, gay, straight, other, please let me know what your porn preference is.

*all names have been changed

L Word Love Letters: My Open Letter To Bette

Katie Halper — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:30:00 GMT

Hi Bette,

It's me Katie. How are you? It's been a while, but I'm sure you remember me. I'm the one who told you NOT to wear strapless bras while doing yoga. In fact you should NOT wear strapless bras on any occasion that does not require a strapless shirt/dress, etc. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I think you're making a HUGE mistake by even considering getting back with Tina. I feel really bad that I didn't write you last week. I know that last weekend, when you were stuck in the elevator with Tina, you said you two "share values." Well, In the words of your older sister Kit, "Baby Girl," that was the lack of oxygen talking. Tina goes between housewife and corporate and is occasionally into men. You are brilliant and passionate about art and politics. And you find men's semen repugnant, remember? (If you don't, check Season One.) You need someone who is passionate, smart, committed, rebellious. Someone like... your girlfriend Jodi. Because I can tell you as someone who has been following you for a while now, you two share values and chemistry. How else can you explain the fact that you became fluent in sign language in one week? What is that, if not magic? OK, so maybe Jodi embarrasses you occasionally. I know, I don't like being seen on dates with people with crimped hair either. But Bette, I love you, you know I do, but you can sometimes dress kind of nerdy yourself. I mean, the high waisted pants you wear is one of the things I love about you, but they're really dorky. And look (in the photos) at the way Jodi challenges you. I you stole a sign from the top of a building and drove it around on a tractor for her. Tina never would have inspired that risk-taking creativity and felonious behavior. She inspires you to admire her jewelry (and dread your hair?).

But, of course, I didn't write you last week, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that. After watching the disaster unfold yesterday, I can't help but think that had I written you, you wouldn't be in the mess you are in now, Jodi wouldn't have found out that you were cheating, and her protective translator wouldn't hate you. Of course, I can't blame myself. Alice certainly helped with her big mouth, weird sense of humor, and lack of social etiquette. I mean, I guess I can kind of understand why she thinks it's appropriate and fun to, during a breast cancer bike ride break, sit around a camp fire and crack up about what a cheater you are, in front of your current girlfriend Jodi, and your ex-girlfriend/ baby's mama/ former cheating victim and current cheating partner Tina. That is kind of fun. And then there's cry baby Tina who gets up and leaves the camp fire. Way to be subtle Tina. And, you don't know this, because you weren't there, but Tina is a total blabber mouth. After she ran from the camp fire into a tent, Shane and Alice followed her. After a second of resisting and saying "I don't want to talk about it," Tina spilled the entire can of beans. Good idea, Tina! Alice is obviously a good person to tell this stuff to. Maybe she can bring it up at someone's funeral or talk about it on the TV talk show she's working for. Bette, do you see the stupidity you would be surrounded by with Tina? I mean, I guess Tina is sweet, but she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. And she's certainly not the hottest lesbian in the tent. So Bette, please forgive me for not writing you earlier, and please try to salvage your relationship with Jodi and ditch ditzy. Maybe this is a sign we need to be in better touch, for your sake, not mine. So if you need to call or e-mail or even visit me, don't hesitate. You know, I'm always here for you!

Love your BFF,

Katie

Word On The L Word: L Word Lady of The Week

Katie Halper — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:07:00 GMT

Last week we shared a little secret we discovered while watching the L Word: the addictive lesbian drama is a fountain of youth. Like a fine wine, the actresses who drink from the L Word waters get... finer with age. Last week we profiled Pam Grier's Kit Porter. So without further ado, we present our second Long-Lastingly- Luscious L Word Lady of the Week.

Another classic actress, whose renaissance was brought to you by the L Word, Cybill Shepherd comes out of the acting closet and struts her stuff into the role of Phyllis Kroll, the erstwhile straight, married-with-children high-powered intellectual dean, who comes out later in life, but is making up for lost time. Phylis isn't just catching up on L action, she's catching up on her L words. And she is one quick study. A few weeks ago Phylis learned the word “u-haul”: to move in with your girlfriend in a u-haul, on your 3rd date. And now knows that the T in LGBT, means trans ( not tentative, you silly goose.) Over the weekend Phylis was less than supportive of her daughter's Shane-anigans with Lady-Killer Shane, who the culture Phylis calls "Lothario." Phylis, look out! Since you and your daughter (played by your real-life daughter Clementine Ford) could pass for twins, chances are, Shane would be into you too. Because Shane knows what we know: whether she’s having her first time with Alice (Leisha Haley), being wined and dined by the BLOC (Big Lawyer/Lesbian on Campus) Joyce ( the HILARIOUS Jane Lynch), or skinny dipping with lesbian friends, Cybill’s not Moonlighting at being sexy. Cybill is sexy 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

To be continued... So come back next week, for the next episode.

"The L Word" Turkish Oil Wrestles With Our Hearts

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 19:45:00 GMT

If we haven't said it enough, God bless The L Word. Seriously, people, you can hate all you want, but if you watch this lesbian Turkish oil wrestling promo and you still feel crabby about the show, it may be time to slick up and get into the ring yourself. See, cause it's women's Turkish oil wrestling, which is real, and women only, and very, very raunchy. Like in a wild, filthy, you don't see this every day or even every six months kind of way. So, The L Word, again, reminds us of why we love lesbians. Not that we needed a reason.

Inconceivable! Wallace Shawn's About to Learn the "L-Word"

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 18:00:00 GMT

Holy hell! Wallace Shawn is going to be on the next season of the L-Word. This is really special. According to this article, his character is going to finance Jenny's movie. Our favorite undersized lisping man to join forces with the L-Word character everyone loves to hate. So fantastic!

This casting move will allow us to merge our fantasy where we are Princess Buttercup's younger, cooler sister with our fantasy where we are Shane's younger, more emotionally stable sister. Come January we are never leaving the house.