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The Kinky Sex Murder At ABC News Radio

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 15:39:00 GMT

Last summer, we seriously considered an offer for a job at ABC News in New York. While on tour of the building and my "future office," I met a guy named George Weber, who was cracking jokes and insulting colleagues who were within earshot when I came across him. My first thought was, "This is one of those characters. Every office has one."

The next time we saw him was yesterday morning, when he was the top story in New York City. Weber was murdered by "a date" he picked up via Craig's List and the details couldn't have been more shocking...

According to stories in the New York Daily News over the last 36 hours, Weber's alleged killer is an unidentified 16-year-old boy who Weber found via a Casual Encounters ad. Weber wanted someone to smother him and the boy offered to do it for $60. It's not known whether this was premeditated murder or the boy just didn't know to stop using the pillow when his victim fought back. Either way, the police say the killer suffered enough retaliatory injuries to bleed all over Weber's apartment on his way out.

What stands out the most for us is that a knife was involved-- reports indicate Weber's body hand multiple stab wounds, which at least confirms murder, whether the boy planned it in advance or tried to finish him Weber off after realizing he'd done serious damage.

Seriously, let this serve as a reminder to all of us to use extreme caution when inviting strangers home...

Latest updates here, via the NY Daily News.

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Solved Mysteries: Tina Fey's Scar

Emily Farris — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:41:00 GMT

We all like to pretend we don't care too much about Tina Fey's scar. But maybe you, like us, have conducted a few or more Google searches... only to settle for reading about the origins of Padma Lakshmi's scar instead.

Now your feeble fingers can take a break. Fey's husband spilled the beans to Vanity Fair.

Liz Lemon [Fey's character on 30 Rock] favors her right side. That’s because a faint scar runs across Tina Fey’s left cheek, the result of a violent cutting attack by a stranger when Fey was five. Her husband says, “It was in, like, the front yard of her house, and somebody who just came up, and she just thought somebody marked her with a pen.” You can hardly see the scar in person. But I agree with Richmond that it makes Fey more lovely, like a hint of Marlene Dietrich noir glamour in a Preston Sturges heroine...

Fey herself rarely mentions the episode. “It’s impossible to talk about it without somehow seemingly exploiting it and glorifying it,” she says. Did she feel less attractive growing up because of it? “I don’t think so,” she says. “Because I proceeded unaware of it. I was a very confident little kid. It’s really almost like I’m kind of able to forget about it, until I was on-camera, and it became a thing of ‘Oh, I guess we should use this side’ or whatever. Everybody’s got a better side.”

Okay, but we wonder if she'll write about it in her book. Guess there's no need now...

[Vanity Fair via Gawker]

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If You Like Fey and Poehler and Palin and Clinton, You'll Love Them as Couric and Palin

Who Are You And What Have You Done With Tina Fey?

Sloppy Seconds: Tina Fey's $6M Book Deal

Image via Vanity Fair

Reversing That Circumcision Even Scarier Than You Thought

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 17:03:00 GMT

Details just published a harrowing and, admittedly, compulsively readable piece on guys who attempt to regain the penises they were given at birth.

We're talking about their uncircumcised penises, of course. Methods for rolling back the clock to the moment before the blade include surgery and foreskin-stretching products... and the results are surprisingly without side effects...

As a fitness trainer and former professional boxer, Jonathan understood that with patience and hard work the body can be transformed. So he went online and purchased a device called the TLC Tugger. Jonathan is now eight months into a two-to-four-year foreskin-stretching process using the device. He wears it around the clock—except when making love with his wife or going through airport security. He attaches it by placing one cone, which has a metal loop on the end, over the head of his penis; rolling his excess shaft skin over the cone; securing a second cone, with an opening at the top, snugly over that skin; attaching an elastic band to the loop; and finally strapping the band around his knee. The contraption, which pulls gently and steadily downward, has lengthened Jonathan's new "foreskin" so that it now extends halfway over the head of his penis. Millimeter by millimeter, he's re-creating what he was given at birth—and what was taken from him. He already feels like a new man. "I always thought my penis was totally sensitive and fine," he says. "It's one of those things—you can't know it until you know it. And I didn't know what I was missing."

If we hadn't read testimonials like this in national magazines, we'd assume, as we do for all dick-altering products, that TLC Tugger and other foreskin-restoring products are total scams. But what if Jonathan is just feeling the effects of the device itself and that his skin actually hasn't been changed at all? And what about the guy who goes for the surgery? What happens to that crazy bastard?

Ben (his name has been changed), an electrician from Lynchburg, Virginia, from going under Reed's knife five years ago, at the age of 38. Ben had wanted to restore his foreskin ever since he was a teenager, when he became aware that his penis had not always been circumcised. Angry and disillusioned, he eagerly plunked down $7,600 to get his foreskin back. "It is impossible to re-create what was destroyed, but I'm happy with the surgery," he says.

For almost eight grand? You better be more than happy-- you better be a fucking porn star now to have earned that back. Would anyone out there plunk down that kind of cash for a slightly better sex life?

(Here's the whole Details story, by the way.)

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Gay Cannibal Becomes Prison Chef

Emily Farris — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:38:00 GMT

Anthony Morely, a former Mr. Gay UK winner, was recently convicted of murdering and then eating parts of a magazine executive in the UK. And now, his friend said, he's been given the job of prison chef. A strange idea, until you consider that Morely had the wherewithal to properly season and sauté his victim.

Apparently, Morely slit the throat of Damian Oldfield before cutting off chunks of his body, seasoning them with herbs and frying them in olive oil.

While Morely is sentenced to the kitchen, he won't be allowed to use knives. Maybe he'll work the deep fryer?

"I reckon some of the other inmates might get a bit worried if they knew who was serving up their food but I'd eat it," Morely's friend Michael said. "Whatever he's done, Tony can cook. He's a brilliant chef. They obviously knew about his talent with food so they offered him the chance to work in the canteen... He was really angry that they weren't letting him use any knives. He asked me, 'How the hell am I supposed to do this without knives?'"

Well, we all know that those who can't do teach. So maybe he should spend his newfound free time writing a cannibal cookbook? Oh, sorry. Was that in poor taste? (Har, har.)

[People UK: GAY CANNIBAL KILLER'S JOB AS A PRISON CHEF]

[Image via Gawker]

The 50 Hottest Women With Swords. Don't Worry, Brigitte Nielsen Makes the Cut.

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 18:29:00 GMT

This is a list of the 50 hottest women sword fighters on the website Only Knives, which mostly contains information about knives, swords and blades, but sometimes makes an exception for cleavage.

It would be cooler if these were actual, real-life sword-fighting women, but really it's just chicks in movies with knives, swords, and blades wearing leather or some sort of pirate dress.

Favorites from most dressed to least after the jump:

Ah, Uma. How we scoured stores looking for a bright yellow suit like yours after Kill Bill came out. We had to settle for yellow Asics and some sweatpants. People still got the reference, though.

This is Milla Jovovich, in case the, ahem, knives were distracting you from her face.

The woman with the sword is Natissa Malthe, we have no idea who she is--she was in Blood Rayne II: Deliverance which is, you know, on our Netflix queue. But we wanted to show you this photo to illustrate an important point about women sword fighters....

The reoccurring combination of thigh-high boots and bustiness below.

There is a conspiracy that results in women who swing the sword dressing like Xena (whose absence from this list is a shameful oversight, by the way).

See, even lists of cheap thrills for knife enthusiasts can teach you something about the world.

(via YesButNoButYes)

Sloppy Seconds: Half-Naked Woman At A Blue Jays Game

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:01:00 GMT

...which begs the obvious question... what were these knuckleheads doing actually watching the game?

Minnie Driver publicly thanked the biggest bunch of airheaded surfer dudes for their heroic efforts after video aired of the beach bums pounding some paparazzi into submission. The very pregnant Driver was trying to enjoy a day on the beach when privacy-invading photographers swept in with their long lenses. Check out the story and video, complete with full "don't photo me, bro" goodness.

There's a new movie playing in London about a boat orgy that ends when one guy hits a girl in the back of the head during sex and kills her. The title? "Donkey Punch," of course.

Is Grey's Anatomy going to kill off Katherine Heigel's character?

[S]taffers are considering giving her character, Dr. Izzie Stevens, a brain tumor.
“[Producer] Shonda [Rhimes] and the writers are pissed at her [for dissing them after she refused to be considered for an Emmy, saying the past season's material was terrible],” the source tells Us. “It’s their way of screwing with her. She won’t know whether she’s going to live or die.”

Wired is really hyping their cover story on Julia Allison-- we've seen three ads online for it just in the last day. Apparently the editors were unaware the rest of the media covered this story back in the 2006 era.

A man claims he found a seven-inch knife in his sandwich in a New York City Subway restaurant. We're not sure why he's complaining-- we've found far worse things in ours...

Saturday's Blue Jays game was apparently not Bobblehead Doll Day, as advertised, but rather Topless Blond In A Hotel Overlooking The Field Day. The Ottawa Sun, which broke the story, has a full rundown of other similar incidences at the Renaissance Inn:

May 1990
During a Blue Jays game, hotel security and police throw out a man who was seen masturbating behind a hotel room window that overlooked the baseball diamond. Police said the man thought he was behind a one-way window.
May 1990
A couple has sex in one of the 70 hotel rooms overlooking a ball game attended by 55,000 fans. The couple -- who apparently weren't aware they could be seen with the lights off -- were "mortified." The incident received media attention around the world, including five minutes on The Arsenio Hall Show.
The Jays lost.
May 1995
In front of 40,000 fans, a couple has sex in a chair right next to the window overlooking the field during the 7th inning of a Jays-Royals match. The couple were seen right above the then-Jumbotron (now the Rogers Centre videoboard).
The Jays lost.

And more at the Ottawa Sun website.

Doctors Remove a Woman's Appendix Through Her Vagina, For Real

Emily Farris — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 14:07:00 GMT

Full story here.

Afghan Boy Survives Being Stabbed in the Head

Emily Farris — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 14:33:00 GMT

You'd think that stabbing someone in the head with a 7.6-cm blade would result in instant, if not slow and miserable, death. Not so for an Afghan boy who was stabbed at his father's store and made his way to a military field hospital where a British surgical team saved his life.

X-ray after the jump.

[Courier Mail: Afghan boy with knife embedded in brain saved]