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Warner Bros. Took Away Kevin Smith's Dicks

Colleen Kane — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 18:15:00 GMT

We would be more outraged about this news of a Kevin Smith film being censored if our initial reaction to this news wasn't "Kevin Smith is making another movie?"

What juvenalia has he left unplumbed? Is there still more minutia of Star Wars yet to be discussed on the big screen?

This latest venture with Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan was supposed to be titled A Couple of Dicks. And it's about detectives! But then Warner Bros. found that just too risque and so the name has been changed to...wait for it...

A Couple of Cops.

[As struggling screenwriters everywhere kill themselves, alone in their cheap rented rooms.]

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Kevin Smith Makes A Porno... Or So Thought The MPAA

Trailer: "Zach and Miri Make a Porno"

While You Were Sleeping: The Naked Mannequin Orgy

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:31:00 GMT

You'll be relieved to learn that this post has nothing to do with the you-know-what that's happening today...

This is the creepiest and coolest Halloween prank we've seen this year

A woman is charged with murder after stabbing her boyfriend with a pair of scissors after the argued over a slice of pizza.

It's scary and insane enough that this guy murdered his girlfriend. But then to cut off his own dick and leave it with her body? Wow. We have nothing to say about that.

A man is selling his wife through an in a classified section intended for vehicle sales, complete with the usual punny ad. The news here? Even though she's 25, he has had to drastically reduce the asking price.

A supposed burglar was found in a store's window display bed getting it on... with a bunch of mannequins.

A naked, masked man holding a gun and waving the American flag on an overpass caused a California freeway to be shut down for hours during yesterday morning's rush hour. And how come we're hearing about this the next day?!

And Traci Lords doesn't appear naked in Kevin Smith's new Porno movie because she was lactating. Yeah, we figured Smith would take a pass on that...

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And You Thought Bill Clinton Was A Sex-Crazed Politician...

The World's Largest Flower Is A Giant Deformed Penis

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Swedish Hockey Fans Bombard Player With Dildo Parade

Today It's Porn Vs. Halloween For Kevin Smith

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 15:06:00 GMT

Kevin Smith is opening his new movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno today. On Halloween.

If you think about it, this is risking total commercial suicide: the built-in audience for Smith's movies would rather watch a horror movie tonight than anything else, making it harder for the movie to have a strong opening weekend. Nonetheless, if they only knew how much better his movie sounds than the tiresome Saw sequel Hollywood pumped out...

College Times has an interesting interview with the writer-director, one in which he doesn't come off as a total dick. So, that's something.

Here it is, complete with his thoughts on Traci Lords, shooting a nude sex scene for the first time in his career, and everything in between...

College Times: What inspired you to do a story about best friends falling for each other because that’s something you’ve never done before?
Kevin Smith: I know, generally most of the stuff I do is like, two dudes who pine for each other but never fuck. All that time in the trenches doing stories about dudes in love definitely informed this script. But I’m afraid that, maybe on the page, it read like more of the same... [see full answer in the interview, linked below]

What was it like working with Traci Lords?
Working with Traci Lords was great. One thing that maybe most people don’t realize about her is she hasn’t made a porn film in 20 years. She worked in porn from the time she was 16 until almost 18. When she got out of porn she started studying acting in a really serious way. I felt so bad, because “Okay, I know you’re a real actress, but in this scene, you’re gonna pretend to blow bubbles out of your vagina.” I felt like I gave her very little to do so I’m kind of hoping to use her in the next film.

In your movies, your characters are known for talking about sex – in this one they actually get to have it. Were you nervous, as a director, about shooting your first sex scene?
I was. You know, it’s off-putting to shoot nudity. I did it once in “Mallrats” very briefly with Joey Adams and I hated it and swore it off. It’s just uncomfortable to ask someone to do something you wouldn’t be willing to do yourself. The scene I was sweating the most was between Seth and Elizabeth because that’s the scene where two people lay down to fuck and wind up making love. I was trying to figure out a way to shoot it where it’s not an episode of “Red Shoe Diaries.” So I told them that morning that I’m going to play it all on your faces so you’re going to be fully clad with no nudity. I thought they’d be like, “Oh thank you thank you thank you,” but immediately they were both outraged. She was just like “Why the fuck did I work out for two months if you’re not going to show my body.” And Rogen was like, “Why the fuck did I shave my back?” Then the relief sank in.

Read the rest of this interview here, via College Times. The above photo and a review of the film is here.

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Hollywood Directors Lend McCain a Hand

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 17:38:00 GMT

Scanner Emily mentioned this in Sloppy Seconds a few days ago, but we all decided it's worthy of its own post.

Down in the polls, McCain's found a way to bring credibility and artistry to his floundering campaign: ads directed by John Woo, Kevin Smith and Wes Anderson.

And after the jump Woody Allen set his neurotic, Upper East Side sights on Sarah Palin.

Sarah Palin Meets Woody Allen from RADAR on Vimeo.

Kevin Smith Makes A Porno... Or So Thought The MPAA

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 14:46:00 GMT

Kevin Smith's new movie is called Jack and Miri Make A Porno. So we were a little surprised that Smith was shocked to learn his film, which features constant jokes about sex and, of course, sex itself was slapped with an NC-17 rating...

The Clerks director then censored two of the movie's sex scenes involving co-stars Jason Mewes and Katie Morgan, but failed to convince the board to lower the rating to an R.
He subsequently launched an appeal against the decision - and on Tuesday the MPAA announced its appeals panel, which is separate from the ratings board, had screened the movie, about two friends who launch an amateur porn studio, and decided to revise the rating to an R.
Smith explains, "We didn't set out to make an Nc-17 film. That's just commercial suicide...
"They felt it was rather sexually graphic. My point is, it was comically graphic. All the sex in the movie with the exception of one scene is very cartoonish, very campy. It wasn't designed to titillate."
And Smith is confident the title alone will filter out audiences who could be offended by the content: "Anybody not inclined to see a movie with `Porno' in the title is not going to see it, so it kind of regulates itself to a degree. And anybody who is going is not going to be surprised by what they see."

The film is set for a Halloween release.

Via IMDB.

Trailer: "Zach and Miri Make a Porno"

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:13:00 GMT

This trailer for Kevin Smith's new film Zack and Miri Make a Porno kind-of screams "all the good stuff is in the trailer." But Smith has only really let us down, what, twice (Clerks II and Jersey Girl")? So here's hoping this is just a little taste of all the glorious hilarity and vulgarity to come.

P.S. Is it bad that we really want to make out with Seth Rogen right now?

Related: Sloppy Seconds: Sexy Round-Ups