Scanner : jennifer lopez

Fox News Enjoys Your Big Butt

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 16:36:00 GMT

Fox News in Phoenix had one of its poor, long-suffering female correspondents file a report on big butts and why they're absolutely wonderful for your health. Okay, this we gotta see...

"Right in the ol' badonk?" Dirty Diane, clearly you are obsessed. Also, apparently, big butts are what made Beyonce and J-Lo famous and there's no need to work out that much if your ass is gigantic. Thanks, Fox.

We'll never look at apples the same way.

Via MyFoxPhoenix.

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Hot or Not: The Doodle Bra?

Golden Globes Best Dressed: How J-Lo's Ass Finally Won Us Over

Ina Maier — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 14:46:00 GMT

We all know that the only reason people watch awards shows is for the red carpet, so we're not going to waste anyone's time by pretending otherwise. (Why else would E! have a three-hour red carpet pre-show?) Click through for Brangelina, Sue Sarandon's rack, J-Lo's ass, and much, much more...

(More interested in the bad, the worse, and the fugly? You can find them here.)

We know, we know. But we had to! But don't worry, they totally get demerits for refusing to do interviews and pretty much racing down the red carpet. But doesn't Angelina look positively radiant? And isn't Brad just the right amount of too cool for school? We hate ourselves for loving them.

Christina Applegate is an automatic win for looking like absolute sunshine, particularly after the year she had. You keep on glowing, girl! (Sorry, that's as sappy as we'll get. We hope.)

Isla, Isla, Isla. She can do no wrong. Well, except for maybe the making of this movie. (Though, to be fair, it is starring Hugh Dancy.) Anyway, back to the topic of hand: she looks just great. Also: pretty and pale, our personal favorite.

We were initially hesitant to include Evan Rachel Wood (her dress seemed just the teensiest bit heavy / old / overdone), and then we saw the back. And we loved it. Perfectly playful, its young, fun, and daring in all the right ways. Kinda just like Evan.

(And in case you're wondering, Evan's tattoo reads: "All that we see or seem / Is but a dream within a dream.")

OK, well, we promised: Sue Sarandon's rack. But the real reason she's in here is because she knows how to do pants right. (As opposed to Glenn Close, who you'll see, is doing it totally wrong.) But yeah, mostly the rack.

Olivia Wilde. The hottest, most likely to be typecast as a lesbian actress there ever was. Also: pretty in purple!

Yeah, we don't really know what's going on here. But somehow it works. Marisa Tomei, gypsy-style. Or something.

Welcome, Freida Pinto and Dev Patel of the crowd favorite Slumdog Millionaire! Freida, we love you for being so young, so beautiful, and so perfectly draped in our favorite color that we don't have a name for. Olive? Chartreuse? Mustard Yellow? Whatever. It's pretty. Especially on her. And Dev, we love you for being so young, so excited, and so slightly awkward.

We didn't want to, but we had to, so we're giving Rumer Willis an honorable mention. She looks stunning and we totally love the dress, the belt, and the color contrast between the deep purple and the rich red of her hair. But she gets disqualified for being absolutely everywhere tonight for no fucking reason. What is this, the Rumer Willis show?

And lastly, but certainly not leastly, J-Lo's ass. The outfit itself is actually on the Worst Dress List, but anybody who has the derring-do to wear such a glittery gold, American Apparel-esque sateen fabric stretched tightly over their backside deserves all the credit we can give them. Because we sure as shit would not be caught dead in such an ensemble. But per usual, J-Lo's ass stands up nicely to the spandex onslaught. We'd bow to you, Ms. Lopez, but then we'd probably be showing off some plumber butt.

PS: As always, these best / worst list are most likely (in your opinion) glaringly incomplete. So don't be afraid, don't hold back, let it rip in the comments. We're desperately curious to see your thoughts, too.

Golden Globes Worst Dressed: WTF Was Up With The Hair?

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Vanity Fair's Best Dressed List: Perfect or Pathetic?

Golden Globe Nominees We'd Like to Make Out With: Most of Them

Today in Golden Globes: More Info On Something We Probably Won't Watch

Top 5 Sex Scenes Set in the Great Outdoors

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:55:00 GMT

After a holiday hiatus, our regular feature returns. This week's list is wishful thinking-- we probably couldn't get away with outdoor sex in today's 36-degree New York weather... you'll have to let us know how your reenactments go in warmer climes...

5. U-Turn. Honestly, we didn't even remember that Jennifer Lopez was in this movie before finding this clip. Still haunting our memories, however, are those extreme closeups of Billy Bob Thornton's teeth.

Jennifer Lopez Outdoor Sex Scene

4. The Hot Spot. This tender nude scene was featured on our Jennifer Connelly list way back when. Hey, if you want to complain about seeing Jennifer Connelly naked again, we can't really help you.

Jennifer Connelly - The Hot Spot

3. Three. We would've had to field serious complaints if we didn't include this raunchy, sexual assault-turned cheeseball sex scene from some straight-to-DVD Kelly Brook vehicle. You'd be amazed how many fans this actress has...

Beach Sex

2. Fast Times At Ridgemont High. The two sex scenes with Jennifer Jason Leigh in this movie take place outdoors (one, in a semi-private changing room; the other, a baseball dugout), but they're clearly overshadowed by this sex-free fantasy sequence that would be our #1... if... only... she would touch someone... anyone...

Phoebe Cates-Fast Times At Ridgemont High

1. Domino. We're pretty sure it doesn't happen like this in the original cut of the movie (or any official cut, for that matter), but the homemade repeition is an addition we're thankful for.

Keira-knightley Having Sex Outdoors

No, Wait, the Lithuanian Playboy Calendar Is What We Really Wanted

Chloe Sevigny Would Like More Topless Sex Scenes, Please

Happy Belated Birthday to Porn Star Ginger Lynn

Top 5 Sex Scenes From... 2007

Caption This: David Beckham and Marc Anthony Let it Out Over Basketball

Emily Farris — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:16:00 GMT

[Image]

Sloppy Seconds: Kevin Federline Got Fat, If That's Really Kevin Federline

Emily Farris — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 22:14:00 GMT

US Weekly is reporting that Kevin Federline got fat, based on a picture of a dude who is very obviously not Kevin Federline.

Bjork made Chinese fans at a concert in Shanghai a little uncomfortable by shouting "Tibet! Tibet!" at the end of her song, "Declare Independence."

Not that we're entitled or anything, but we could use a weekly massage a lot more than Jennifer Lopez's new born twins. What do they have to be stressed out about, anyway? They have 600-thread-count sheets and fucking ponies.

Reducing time spent in front of the television makes children healthier and "less fat." You don't say?

Isn't it about time "American Idol" just turns into a strip competion? Are we over the singing part yet?

A scout for the Boston Red Sox was caught masturbating in a hotel room that overlooked a pool where teenage girls were swimming. We're going to assume he had the curtains open or something, because when one can no longer masturbate in a hotel room, what's the point of living?

Sloppy Seconds: The Good, The Bad and The Skinny

Emily Farris — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 21:23:00 GMT

Would you really be all that surprised if Amy Winehouse wasn't really all that clean?

Let us be the last to tell you that JLo popped out twins, and will make $6 million from their first pictures.

Hillary Clinton is a fan of hot peppers, they keep her going. Maybe that's why she's looking so thin lately.

Is Jezebel, by way of Cosmopolitan, trying to kill you? No, they're just fessing up to the stupid shit we've all done to lose weight. Cosmo might still be trying to kill you, though. We hear the Amy Winehouse diet is working pretty well.

Caption This: Everyone Pointing at J-Lo's Pregnant Belly

Emily Farris — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 18:04:00 GMT

[Image via FameCrawler / Celebrity Moms]

Who Would You Rather, Third Trimester Edition: Halle Berry vs. JLo?

Emily Farris — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:17:00 GMT

Yesterday Scanner Bryan said that Halle Berry set the gold standard for foxy moms to be. But JLo isn't looking so bad either. But Berry is looking really, really good. Anyway, we figured we'd let you weigh in. So, which pregnant lady would you rather? Halle Berry or Jennifer Lopez?

(And yes, that JLo photo is obviously pre-third trimester. Sorry.)