Scanner : jay leno

While You Were Sleeping: The Fate of Project Runway

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 13:16:00 GMT

Mona Lisa from burger grease! The great smirking later has never been sexier. (Luckily, this isn't one of those "it's a turd shaped like my aunt Josefa, let's sell it on eBay" things, but art.)

A strip club takes on the McDonald's logo, McDonald's takes them to court.

You think Snoop Dogg's remixes of Johnny Cash songs will be any good?

Two typos, two accidental calls to two different phone sex lines. The first, which Emily mentioned yesterday, involves cereal, the second... Hillary Clinton.

Jonathan Coulton has a new DVD out called Best. Concert. Ever. We predict it will be a live recording.

NBC affiliates should learn never to underestimate Jay Leno's ability to draw viewers.

Meanwhile, the television company will air a documentary focused on Farrah Fawcett's battle with breast cancer.

The Project Runway lawsuit was settled-- the show will air again this summer, this time on the Lifetime Network.

And instead of beating up the fan who exposed himself to her, Lady Gaga signed the man's naughty bits.

While You Were Sleeping: Fake Boobs, Fake ID

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 13:08:00 GMT

The continued success of National Public Radio proves that there are at least a handful of people out there still interested in brain stimulation.

Margaret Cho on Margaret Cho and her Cho Show.

Condoleeza Rice started to climb out of her shell on Leno, discussing Led Zeppelin and Obama...

The worst story of the month: a man claims his mother died when a police officer stalled the man's hospital trip to write a ticket.

Thanks to Behrooz for reminding us about the woman who used a fake ID to pay for fake boobs. Not much can be said about that.

Is this the best Mike Huckabee quote ever? "When it abolished slavery, the U.S. debated and decided it was immoral for one person to have complete, life-or-death power over another." Obviously, Huckabee is against the death penalty... right?

A Congressional candidate announced via Twitter.

We understand why it's on the market, but we're still uncomfortable with it.

Jennifer Hudson will have her revenge on American Idol.

And there's no story to go with the above photo. We just assumed you would appreciate it.

While You Were Sleeping: Carrie Underwood's Dress Was Too Short

Today in WTF: Man Has Sex with or in a Dumpster

While You Were Sleeping: The Rihanna Nightmare Continues

While You Were Sleeping: More Grey's Anatomy Turmoil

While You Were Sleeping: Barack Obama In Big Trouble

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 14:04:00 GMT

Scanners Brian, Emily, and Colleen were at the Bust Party at SXSW last night, during which Dinosaur, Jr. made a surprise appearance. Needless to say, blogging will be slow this morning, with more activity later on...

The man himself-- Bruce Springsteen-- did The Daily Show.

This guy didn't realize everyone on the train he was supposed to be operating could see his penis.

Unfortunately, most of the spectators probably enjoyed this "catfight," in which boobs were bared.

We missed out on the news that PETA celebrated St. Patrick's Day in their own special way.

We heard about the topless bar in Austin that was busted for featuring a sixteen-year-old girl.

Seth Rogen calls his own back hair "glorious."

Barack Obama needs to stop making jokes. About anyone and anything-- it's making him sound more out of touch than Al Gore.

And right-wing crazies at WorldNet Daily believe teens are drinking poison to induce abortions. What do you think?

Will Conan Suck When He Gets to L.A.?

Scanner Matt — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:43:00 GMT

You may have heard that Jay Leno is going to move to the 10:00 spot on June 1 when Conan O'Brien takes over the "Tonight Show", and while Leno is going to keep his (or Johnny Carson's) Burbank studio, O'Brien will be moving into a new studio... 3,000 miles from New York.

And as the New York Post points out:

TV shows reflect the places where they are made - think of Oprah and Chicago or the "Today" show and Rockefeller Center. It's part of their show- business DNA.

That means the "Tonight Show" will be changing more than its host when it moves from Burbank to Universal Studios this summer.

So will Conan keep his cool and stay (relatively) funny or turn into the celebrity kiss-up willing to pander to a more traditional audience at an earlier time slot as did the unfunny Leno?

Does this mean no more "masturbating bear" or sneaking knowing stares to the camera when the celebrity being interviewed is a complete moron?

Although "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" has mostly been a mainstream program and like all late night shows a promotional tool for the movie industry, it seemed to take a few chances with bizarre comedy bits, the occasional offensive joke and generally sought to push mundane television comedy a little further than the others when permitted. Will it keep it's edge, though fairly blunt in comparison to cable, when O'Brien reaches La La Land or will Letterman regain the ratings title?

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Emma Watson To Get Naked?

Stop Saying the New Tina Fey Catchphrase

Scarlett Johansson Sells Snot on Ebay

Leaked Photos: Jessica Alba Airbrushed, Before and After

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Scarlett Johansson Sells Snot on Ebay

Scanner Matt — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 18:43:00 GMT

The stuffed-up Scarlett Johansson, who claims she has Samuel L. Jackson's germs, thinks her liquid mucus is liquid cash. What a jerk.

Both Leno and Johansson were so amused with themselves on the Tonight Show last night, it was more sickening than actually watching Johansson blow her nose and look at it before she packages it up for an Ebay auction, which can be found here.

Related:

Leaked Photos: Jessica Alba Airbrushed, Before and After

Damsels in Distress

Most Repulsive Christmas Video of the Year

While You Were Sleeping: Emma Watson To Get Naked?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 14:06:00 GMT

Catherine Hardwicke, who ruined it for female directors everywhere by having the biggest opening with the worst movie, will not be invited back for the followup to Twilight.

Jay Leno is sticking around late night after all. He'll host a show in the 10pm slot instead.

For $12,000, you could've had a boatload of fun with Anne Hathaway...

...the day after the Cracked X-mas Fundraiser where the actress auctioned off a drinking date with herself and a few of your close friends, we know that's as good a pick up line as any:
"I'm not usually very forward, but I thought if there was ever a crowd for me to do something like this, this is my crowd so I would like to auction myself off," Hathaway announced, "for drinks somewhere fabulous and basically get you totally s—- faced." Hathaway, 26, was embarrassed when her price kept going up... "Wow, I feel really good right now."

Keanu Reeves will make a brilliant, original, and totally not laughable samurai movie next.

Robin Williams on Sarah Palin. We won't spoil the joke.

A 70-year-old woman in India gave birth after fifty years of trying to have children. This is sure to be the plot of Sex and the City Part XVII.

Emma Watson waited a full eight months of being legal before announcing she's interested in doing a nude scene. Fortunately for you pervs, she wants to do one for Bernado Bertolucci.

Related:

The Top 10 Yahoo Searches of 2008

Leaked Photos: Jessica Alba Airbrushed, Before and After

While You Were Sleeping: Scrubs & Friends

This Week in Gayness: McDonald's Makes Jesus Cry?

VIDEO Handful of Akon on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

Scanner Matt — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:16:00 GMT

Another video today? Why not? This one's a shorty. When rapper, Akon, decided to jump into the adoring crowd at "Jimmy Kimmel Live" while performing his atrociously boring single, "Right Now" (not a Van Halen cover), a random hand reaches up and begins massaging his crotch.

It's at 3:22 on the video after the jump.

We assume the audience member was just making things easier on Akon. Why should rappers have to grab their own crotch all the time? We always thought the tough-guy pee pee dance was a passing fad, but it never seems to go away.

Related:

Out to Lunch With Akon and T-Pain

Italian Dude Fined For Grabbing Crotch; Salon Gives the Background

Cheap Army Uniforms Causing Crotch Blow-Out

We Love Amy Sedaris And Her Felt Vagina

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 20:28:00 GMT

There have been times when we've had a few beers and thought, "Why doesn't anyone agree with us that Amy Sedaris is the sexiest woman alive?" There have also been times when we've woken up in the middle of the night and had the very same thought-- and while totally sober that one time.

So it's totally unsurprising that this instant-classic-video from the E! show Chelsea Lately (which, supposing they ever have anything this funny again, we'll watch from now on) made us hot and bothered on a Monday afternoon...

Our favorite moments:

Sedaris: Based on your books, I decided you needed to know a bit about vaginal cleansing. [Let's see a line like that get past NBC during Leno's show.]
Sedaris: Here you have the outer folds [of the vagina.] Let's just go ahead and PIN these! [Ouch.]

Here's the video:

Related:

David Sedaris On Undecided Voters: Chicken or Sh*t?

Video of the Day: Dana Carvey Returns To TV

Pharrell's Anal Sex Chair Makes Us Feel a Little Funny Down There

Thing #7,859 Not To F*ck: A Metal Rod

You're Circumcised? Well, That Explains It...

Video of the Day: Rachael Ray Corn Porn

Video of the Day: Dana Carvey Returns To TV

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:01:00 GMT

We try our best to avoid the painful comedy that is the Tonight Show With Jay Leno. But Wednesday night's show, with Dana Carvey, was the best we've come across in years.

Leno is best when things either go wrong or when he loses the cymbals-crashing punchlines. The other night, he was loose, off-the-cuff, and on a roll... and then Dana Carvey took over...

Now we realized why we missed him so much since he left SNL and the spotlight...

via Hulu.

While You Were Sleeping: Angelina Jolie's Breastfeeding Cover

While You Were Sleeping: The Playboy Selection Process

While You Were Sleeping: Will Smith's Milestone

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 13:22:00 GMT

Poor Natalie Portman. She moved from New York to LA to be with Devendra Banhart, only to see the relationship fall apart.

Check out the full clip of John McCain turning Letterman down yesterday to "rush back to Washington"... and ending up on another CBS show.

We thought about not telling you about this one...

A man who woke up from a circumcision procedure to discover his penis had been cut off is suing doctors.
Philip Seaton went to be circumcised at a hospital in Louisville, Kentucky last October, but awoke to find his penis had been amputated.
He also said he has lost the enjoyment of life, according to the lawsuit.

Some of our readers don't enjoy the comedy of Wanda Sykes. They obviously didn't see her on Leno the other night.

Philadelphia exploded a suspicious package... of hot dogs.

The serial killer who bumped off approximately 23 people, many of them gay men, in the parishes of southern Louisiana was sentenced to eight consecutive life terms.

Can you believe that Will Smith turns 40 today?

And Jenna Jameson is pregnant with twins. And no, the father is not some random co-star, okay?

Teen Sex Most Popular In Kentucky... And Other Global Sex Trends

Ex-Candidate For Kentucky Gov. Arrested For Sex Offenses After Obvious Joke

This Week In Gayness: Discriminated By McDonald's

Who Would You Rather, Scarlett Johansson or Natalie Portman?

Jenna Jameson: The Next PETA Pin-Up

This Week In Gayness: H&R Block Hates Gay Taxpayers

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 15:30:00 GMT

Jay Leno, late night TV host and alleged funnyman, had some unintelligent words for the LGBT community in his interview with Ryan Philippe. And they for him.

Sally Kern is under attack! Hatemongers row merrily, merrily along to save the day with their fun-loving hate!

The state of Vermont favors same sex marriage. The outrage! Gays to marry? What's next, a transgendered man will be allowed to give birth?!

Gay Youth Report Higher Rates Of Drug And Alcohol Use...see! We told you "Will and Grace" was going to fuck you up for life.

H&R Block apparently doesn't do taxes for people who are in Connecticut civil unions. Yet another reason to avoid paying altogether, spend your savings on pump-action shotguns, and wait for the Feds to come and "accidentally" bomb you back to the Stone Age.

Headline of the week: Leno Homophobic, Homoerotic At Same Time [VideUhOh]

Our Long National Nightmare of Talk Show Reruns Is Now Over

Bryan Christian — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 17:09:00 GMT

As you no doubt are aware, you no longer have to go out and find willing sexual partners to keep yourself occupied late nights, Monday thru Friday: the network talk shows are back. We couldn't bring ourselves to watch Leno, since even on a good day, his Tonight Show material is only half-jokes, with the other half dedicated to non-joke observations engineered to garner applause rather than make people laugh, and that makes us crazy. (Also: Mike Huckabee creeps us out.) Anyway, it doesn't sound like we missed much since the big news coming from his show was that he probably broke WGA strike rules by pre-writing a monologue.

We did, however, catch most of Letterman and Conan (and, predictably, none of Craig Ferguson), and had considered liveblogging them as we had done the Victoria's Secret fashion show, but it was late and we were hard at work on other things, and besides we can't commit to watching anything all the way through if Robin Williams is involved. Suffice it to say that if a liveblog of this stuff is what you're after, you can have it. IOHO, while the shows seemed only slightly more shaggy-dog than normal (writers or no), the most interesting thing about them was that the hosts showed up thoroughly scruffy. Keep it up, gentlemen, we think ya look great (and we give facial hair an inordinate amount of thought)!

Daily Show and Colbert return next week, perhaps in time to do cleanup on today's Iowa caucus but certainly in time to provide non-scripted, off-the-cuff commentary on the New Hampshire primary. We think there's a decent chance that, if anything innovative happens in late-night before this strike ends, that's where you're gonna find it. But maybe that's just wishful thinking.

Marjorie Johnson Can Toss Our Cookies Any Day

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 21:11:00 GMT

We don't love Jay Leno. Any late-night talk-show host who makes lawyer jokes in an opening monologue is going to get under our skin. But we caught a rerun of the show the other night and found ourselves rolling on the floor watching Blue Ribbon Baker Marjorie Johnson interview Tony Hawk and Kevin Robinson. This is comic timing like we haven't seen since Mujibur and Sirajul.