Scanner : janet jackson

While You Were Sleeping: Sex Scandal Star Fights Porn

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 May 2009 16:34:00 GMT

Bob Dylan has the #1 record in England, making him the oldest musician to ever hold that spot. Although he has had many more top 5 records there than in the United States, it's his first chart-topper since 1970.

Angela Merkel... in her undies?

An eight-year-old girl was finally allowed to divorce her middle-aged husband.

Here's an in-depth look at Masters and Johnson, who may have faked those "gay conversion" studies, as we reported last week.

A look at life under "socialist" European government.

Donna Rice Hughes was half of the sex scandal that doomed Gary Hart's 1988 Presidential campaign. Now, she's back in the spotlight, fighting pornography.

Wanna see someone get waterboarded?

And the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction case drags on.

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Couple Busted For Having Sex At the Queen's Residence, Filming A Japanese Porno

Top 10 TV Nipple Slips and Wardrobe Malfunctions

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 18:59:00 GMT

You know, because Janet Jackson wasn't the first one to lose her outfit live on national television...

It's difficult to imagine, we know, but even game shows in the 60s and 70s were famous for nipple slips. Luckily, YouTube, Google Video and other online sources have managed to salvage some of the most memorable moments. They're all pretty much two seconds long, but this will make you a better future Trivial Pursuit contestant... since you know that's all that we're going to talk about in 20 years, the way our Idiocracy is going.

Here are ten in no particular order...

Ron Jeremy's High School Play Video Leaked!

Tara Reid Wishes She Was Actually Listening To What The Little People Were Yelling About

Jennifer Hawkins (the 2004 Miss Universe) Returns to Australia to Moon Her Hometown

The Match Game (okay, this is more of a "nipple slip" of the tongue, but hey... break it up a bit, ya know)

Eva Mendes Was Really Asking For It This Time

N Is For Nipples - TV Show Host Flashes Kids

Haven't Seen This Janet Jackson Nip Slip Before... Is It New?

They Let the Wrestlers Beat Up the Refs, But An Ass And Nipple Slip Is An Ejection?!

As Bob Barker Says, "She came on down and they came on out!" [sfw]

And finally, Meredith Viera pulls a Justin Timberlake on Helen Mirren:

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Beyonce Stuns Lone Oscar Viewer With Nipple Slip

Nipplegate II: The Russian Skater Shocker

Mischa Barton Can't Keep Her Clothes On

Caption This: Agyness Deyn And Her Friend's See-Through

Sloppy Seconds: Janet Miss Jackson If You're Nasty Hit Hard by the Recession

Emily Farris — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 00:11:00 GMT

In case you were wondering (um, we weren't... at all) Oprah is "absolutely not" interested in Obama's old job. [FadedYouth]

We couldn't agree more with what Drew Barrymore had to say about being single: "I'm not in the wrong relationship and it's great!" [Yahoo!]

Is Haley Joel Osment drawing penises (and occasionally boobs) all over people's cars? Probably. [DailyIntel]

If we ever end up as housewives it will be against our will and we hope we go out like this woman: she hit her husband with a beer bottle, then chased him with a vacuum as he cleaned up the blood. Not that violence is good, it is not. But going crazy sounds kind-of fun. [APP]

Janet Jackson knows no one can afford her tickets these days and has canceled (er, postponed) her world tour. [Us]

Nipplegate II: The Russian Skater Shocker

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 17:26:00 GMT

Ekaterina Rubleva, a Russian figure skater, was competing in Helsinki, Finland the other day when her single-strap dress caused a Janet Jackson moment on national television.

But unlike the Jackson/Timberlake scandal, this was an unintentional consequence of a skimpy dress. (Although, if you think about it, what the hell was Rubleva thinking wearing a dress like that while whirrling all over the ice? No wonder it slipped.) Best part of all, no one was embarrassed by this, including Finnish conservatives and Rubleva herself, who merely smiles and shakes her head when the dance is completed.

Here's a video of their routine-- key moments come around 1:45 and 4:20.

Top via this link; bottom photo via this link.

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Eva Mendes to America: Take Your Nip Slip Censorship and Shove It

Sloppy Seconds: Stripper Feels the Crunch

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 23:12:00 GMT

We just want to start out by saying you need to see the following three movies this weekend: Slumdog Millionaire, Milk, and The Wrestler, supposing they are out where you currently reside. Mickey Rourke's performance is one of the greatest so far this century, although Sean Penn is equally good on a more subtle level and could steal an Oscar from him, while Slumdog Millionaire is barely not cheeseball Bollywood/Hollywood, but the story hooks you almost instantly and the end-credit dance-off is the most eye popping in ages. Check out movie showtimes here.

In other news, we have a final result in the $54 million dry cleaning lawsuit...

Roy L. Pearson, the former administrative law judge who sued his dry cleaner for $54 million over a misplaced pair of pants, lost his final appeal in the District's highest court.
"Appellant failed to establish either that the Chungs' 'Satisfaction Guaranteed' and 'Same Day Service' signs constituted false or misleading statements, or that they lost his pants.

Next, we hope he gets sued (and loses again) over all this...

A stripper in Colorado has been making $18 a day thanks to the recession.

Want to have a day of hookey with your girl? Just call in anonymous threats to her school!

Wall-E seems to be benefitting the split votes among the critics, who can't decide on a favorite that any of them pick as their #1. Instead, they end up with everybody's second or third choice, the Pixar film that delighted audiences and baffled the gluttonous.

And Janet Jackson broke up with Jermaine Dupri, according to the tabloids.

While You Were Sleeping: Scrubs & Friends

48-Year-Old Carol Alt Finally Does Playboy

While You Were Sleeping: Khloe Kardashian Looks Weird Naked

Sloppy Seconds: the 69-Year-old Pinup Dude

Top 10 Celebrity Twitterers

While You Were Sleeping: Jennifer Aniston's Big News

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:40:00 GMT

Janet Jackson canceled the rest of her tour. Wow, she's really going downhill fast, isn't she?

James Bond goes to... Bollywood?

Cheech and Chong want you to vote today. And no, this isn't some Republican trick pulled on our inner-cities.

The National Review, bitter as always, says the youth vote only made up 18% of the total vote. Yes, douceheads, but what about the actual number of youth voters?

And so it begins: the McCain campaign is letting loose on Sarah Palin. My God, if this corrupt and greedy individual had ever become Vice President...

Adam Shulman. Adam Shulman. Adam Shulman-- that's the name of Anne Hathaway's new boyfriend. Curses!

And Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins. Little John Mayer's, you think?

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While You Were Sleeping: David Duchovny Can't Keep It Together

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Is it wrong too arrest a man in a wheelchair... for driving while intoxicated?

Playboy cut 80 jobs thanks to the terrible economy.

Britney Spears is on top of the world again...

...she's back on top of the U.S. charts thanks to a record-breaking sales week. The singer's "Womanizer" tune has scored the biggest chart jump to number one in Billboard Hot 100 history after rocketing up 95 spots from last week's 96 to get there. [The song still blows. -Ed.]
It's the first time Spears has been on top since her debut single "...Baby One More Time" hit number one at the beginning of 1999. [Starpulse]

Today in Politicians Who Apparently Have Nothing Better To Do: the idiot in Nebraska who filed a lawsuit against God has seen his dreams shattered.

Janet Jackson was apparently suffering from vertigo, is back on tour, and likes loud goddamned explosions.

Strip clubs have turned to the "free flu shot" gimmick to attract business. (Or is it the other way around?)

David Duchovy and Tea Leoni apparently could not work it out. A spokesperson admitted the two have actually been separated for months, with no signs of a turnaround.

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Britney Spears Is (Almost) Not Completely Repulsive In Her New Video

While You Were Sleeping: All The Harry Potter Kids Are Getting Naked

Have We Finally Found Stills from the Britney Spears Sex Tape?

Sloppy Seconds: Boy George's Plea to Amy Winehouse

Emily Farris — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 21:01:00 GMT

The BBC is defending a gay kiss on its hit show East Enders. [Queerty]

Why are we so much more likely to believe that a shark had a virgin birth than a human? [Wired]

Ha, remember when Lynne Spears wrote a book? [MollyGood]

After getting sick and canceling six shows, Janet Jackson is feeling much better and will resume her "Witchu" tour. We encourage her to rename it. Perhaps something like "With You?" [MTV]

Now that he's clean, Boy George would very much like Amy Winehouse to follow his lead. [People]

While You Were Sleeping: Janet Jackson Hospitalized

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 13:54:00 GMT

Flea is taking a break from the Chili Peppers; he's headed for higher ground at USC.

A judge tossed the infamous lawsuit that alleged New York's Ladies Nights discriminate against men..

Is The View falling apart? Barbara Walters has called a staff meeting on account of... who else?

With the rumor mill buzzing that a discontent Elisabeth Hasselbeck may vacate her cushiony seat on The View for the cool, hard Eames chair of Fox News, it's up to den mother Barbara Walters to restore order on the set of her chat show. True to form, Walters has eschewed hugging it out in favor of a more clinical approach; according to the Chicago Sun-Times, she's had to schedule a staff meeting to deal with the increasingly hot-under-the-collar Hasselbeck. [Defamer]

If this e-mail rumor turns out to be true, it would mean Barack Obama will win the Presidency.

Jesse Ventura's new reality show? Yep, the man who was last seen speaking at Ron Paul's RNC counter-rally, is working on a show about conspiracy theories.

Even bears don't want to go anywhere near hospital waiting rooms these days.

Heath Ledger's insurance company is not letting this thing go quietly.

And Janet Jackson "fell ill" during a soundcheck in Montreal last night and has been in the hospital, with an undisclosed or undiagnosed ailment since then. No other details have been made available. Janet is 42 years old...

The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (50-41)

Elizabeth Hasselbeck Not Sure What A Vibrator Is For

Arkansas Televangelist Busted For Child Sex Acts

McCain Sabotages His Own Attempt To Save The Nation

BREAKING: John McCain Suspends His Campaign

Sloppy Seconds: Kanye West's Arrest

Emily Farris — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 21:13:00 GMT

Janet Jackson kicked off her first tour in six years with an emotional performance in Vancouver. [People]

We pity the fool who will soon be Mr. Tara Reid. [dListed]

We're not the only ones expecting the new 90210 to suck. Shannen Doherty doesn't plan to do more than four episodes. [Yahoo!]

~~Spiderman~~ Tobey McGuire is all set to give his big speech at the 9/11 memorial service tonight. Huh? [Cryptome]

Project Runway judge and former Elle fashion director, Nina Garcia, has a few things to say about Sarah Palin's wardrobe. For starters, she should drop the glasses. [Radar]

But if you dig her look, you should find your perfect pit bull in lipstick shade. [The Frisky]

Lauren Conrad, of The Hills, has just signed a three-book deal with Harper Collins. We quit. Has she even read three books in her lifetime? [Us]

After smashing up a photographer's camera at LAX, Kanye West realized that TMZ had been taping the first incident and allegedly went after the TMZ camera person. (We probably would have done the same thing). [LAT and TMZ Video]

While You Were Sleeping: Autistic Children Are Brats?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:58:00 GMT

The YouTube divorce trial has ended with no surprises. She signed a prenup, so that pretty sure wrapped it up. (Oh yeah, airing your husband's dirty laundry in front of three million people on the internet could not have helped your standing with the judge.)

John McCain's essay on the Iraq War was rejected by the New York Times. And not because he's wrong on every single point.

Various British media outlets are reporting Christian Bale will be questioned by police over allegations he beat his mother and sister the night before the European premiere of the new Batman movie...

His mother and sister reportedly complained that the 34-year-old actor assaulted them at a west London hotel on Sunday.
Britain's Press Association said they made the allegation at a police station in south England on Monday and that the allegation was passed on to Scotland Yard in London. It said questioning was expected Tuesday. [CNN]

A Palestinian man was killed near Obama's hotel (he wasn't yet staying there, though) after the man rammed several vehicles in what is believed to have been an attack unrelated to the Senator's visit.

A court overruled the fine leveled by the FCC against CBS for the 2004 "warddrobe malfunction incident." Hooray for free speech... and more importantly... hooray for oddly-pierced boobies.

And talk show host and (big surprise) hardcore conservative Michael Savage is under attack after saying 99 percent of all kids with autism are nothing more than "brats."

UPDATE: According to Yahoo! News, Bale is under arrest in connection with the previously-reported incident, although the Guardian is reporting the charge is for assaulting his mother and not both his mother and sister.

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The 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (50-41)

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:22:00 GMT

Guys and dolls-- contrary to popular belief, side two of Led Zeppelin IV is not to be played before business time. Neither is anything by the Rolling Stones, Barbara Streisand, or-- God forbid-- Kelly Clarkson. (You'll recall Steve Carell was n ot in the throes of ecstasy when screaming her name in “The 40 Year-Old Virgin.")

This week, we're launching a six-part list of the Top 50 Sexiest Albums You Must Own (But Probably Don't.) With each post, we'll feature videos and song clips, links to the full albums and mp3s, and everything relevant we can find.

We'll also be taking your votes in the comments section-- nominate your favorite mood CD and we'll qualify it for our Scanner Readers Top 10 next week.

Today's list (50-41) features the lovely Janet Jackson, plus nine more surprise choices...

50. Bad Moon Rising – Sonic Youth

This very early album from the great (aging?) rockers features a guest appearance by Lydia Lunch, who sounds like she's getting laid in the studio while belting out “Death Valley '69.” Hmm... writing that now, it may have finally hit us what that “69” is supposed to mean...

Listen to Death Valley '69 at e-music.

49. Back to Black - Amy Winehouse

Basically an angry rant spread out over 30-minutes of great pop songs, the sexiest thing about Winehouse's second album is her voice, which reaches new heights (or should we say, in light of recent concerts, peaks?) We don't think "Rehab" will put you in the mood, but it makes for surprisingly good background music in just about any situation.

Wake Up Alone

48. In Concert – Nina Simone

Disappointingly short, mind-blowingly powerful, this 1960s recording features her biggest hit and saddest, sweetest tune, “I Loves You, Porgy.” (The closer, “Mississippi Goddamn,” should be that state's song, just for spite. Don't forget: Righteous anger = hot.) Really, any Nina Simone collection will do.

I Loves You Porgy

47. Psychocandy – the Jesus and Mary Chain

If you take a song like “Just Like Honey” out of its element and end a Scarlett Johansson movie with it, you end up entirely missing its sex appeal. Put it back into the context of raw and dark Goth cuts like “Taste of Cindy,” “In A Hole,” “Taste the Floor,” “Inside Me” (wait, is every song on this album about sex?!), “Sowing Seeds” and “It's So Hard” and you will find yourself cuffed to the bed in no time.

Scarlett Johansson performs with the JMC at Coachella.

46. Transformer – Lou Reed

Reed, going through his bisexual junkie faze, collaborated and “collaborated” with David Bowie (and Mick Ronson, on the strictly-professional end) on “Perfect Day,” “Satellite of Love,” “Vicious” and, of course, “Walk on the Wild Side.” “Wild Side” was the first radio song to talk about transvestites shaving their legs, he's turning into she's, and the selflessness of giving head became a hit only because, it is believed, station owners and government watchdogs had no idea what “giving head” meant. Choice line: “Hey, babe..” and so on.

45. Volume One - She & Him

A surprise choice, considering this is brand new. But anyone who saw their Conan appearance will tell you: you thought Zooey Deschanel couldn't get any hotter? Yeah, that's before we heard her sing. Check out the unbeatable cover of Smokey Robinson's "You Really Got A Hold On Me."

44. Penthouse – Luna

Their album Bewitched is great music to fall asleep to... after sex. This album is almost-unsexy until the hidden bonus track, their cover of “Bonnie and Clyde,” one of the sexiest indie-rock singles ever.

Luna - Bonnie and Clyde

43. Safe As Milk - Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band

One of the weirdest artists in recorded music, Captain Beefheart was the subject of a famous April Fool's Day prank last year, when it was announced he would come out of retirement to play Bonnaroo. If you're dating anyone into Burning Man, festivals, camping, or any other weird shit, they'll probably throw you a bone just for turning them on to this.

Sure Nuff N Yes I Do - (1967 Demo)

42. Fun House – The Stooges

Somehow, this, the first proper punk album, always gets overlooked in the Iggy Pop catalogue, even though it would make a stiff get up and bounce off the walls with exuberance. If you're not motivated to go on a date, don't go. If you're going to go anyway, put this on for your get-up-and-go. Choice line: “She got T.V. eye on me.” (By the way, explains Mr. Pop, that stands for “twat-vibe eye.”)

41. janet. - Janet Jackson

We'll never forget the cover of this album, pictured above. “That's The Way Love Goes” is on here, but more importantly are the other 26 tracks: “Another Lover,” “Throb,” “You Want This,” and “Be A Good Boy,” for example. Indeed we have been good, Miss Janet.

CLICK TO CONTINUE: Now with the Top 40-31... and don't forget to nominate your favorites in the comments section...

Sloppy Seconds: Identical Twins Marry

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 21:30:00 GMT

If you've been waiting for Janet Jackson to finally dump "longtime love" Jermaine Dupri... well, keep waiting.

Donald Trump sure knows how to pick him. At least when it comes to models. As for co-hosts on his reality show, we have to question the choice of Heather Mills, for any reason.

Boy George can't get a visa. Maybe that's why he wants Obama to be President.

Remember the undiscovered Amazon tribe some annoying photographers in a helicopter discovered? Who was the the reader who called bullshit on it?

When we saw this headline, we were really worried that it was to each other: Identical Twins Wedding. Yeah, uh, the grooms must have been thrilled with each other-- wait, is this my wife your dancing with? I'm not sure, they're both in white wedding dresses. Oh well, you have this one for life, I'll run off with the other one... etc. etc.

The worst story of the week, for sure. But we hadn't heard about the 50-100 adults who were watching the alleged sex shows performed by five-year-old's in Texas. We're hoping, based on some sort of bizarre hope for "sanity" that it was just a few creepy "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" type giggling crazies who were behind this. Scary.

Sloppy Seconds: And You Thought You Wouldn't Live to See a Gay Space Wedding

Emily Farris — Mon, 19 May 2008 22:12:00 GMT

Janet-Miss-Jackson-if-You're-Nasty is planning her first tour in seven years. [Yahoo!]

So sad: Two Indian women were found dead after torching their home to end their "unusual relationship." [Queerty]

If a fake pregnancy happens in a forrest and everyone knows it's fake, is it really a fake pregnancy? Huh? What did we just ask? Anyway... [Fafarrazi]

This woman wants a penis, though we don't think this is the best way to go about getting one. Unless giving her one will make it stop? [YouTube]

Is it us or has Jessica Alba been pregnant FOREVER? Anyway, when she finally does pop out that baby, she plans on being a "tough mother." [People]

Star Trek star George Takei will take advantage of California's new gay marriage law. We're guessing it won't be a Star-Trek-themed gay wedding, which disappoints us a little, but we're happy for the guy, anyway. [Us]

There Was Once (Or Twice) a Time When Tyra Banks and Janet Jackson Were Objects of Your Desire

Emily Farris — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 16:33:00 GMT

We think that time has come to an end.

Sloppy Seconds: George Clooney is to Hillary Clinton as Daniel Day Lewis is to Barack Obama

Emily Farris — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 22:13:00 GMT

George Clooney thinks he's the Hillary Clinton of the Oscars, with Daniel Day Lewis starring as Obama. And he thinks that's bad news for himself and Hillary.

Priscilla Presley joins the newest cast of Dancing With the Stars.

Will.I.Am is planning a second Obama video.

Call us "white trash" if you want, but there's a reason we always take our drink to the bathroom.

Because his face is currently imploding—making him unavailable for photo shoots— Janet Jackson posed as her brother Michael for the cover of Vibe. (In all honesty, we don't know why she did it, but that guess is as good as any, right?)

We're not fans of diamonds, and if we ever get engaged, we want something fairly traded (hear that, gentlemen?) or this fucking killer ring that gives new meaning to "blood diamond." Bonus if you find a fair-trade killer diamond.

Janet Jackson is "Allergic" to Marriage

Emily Farris — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 15:29:00 GMT

Janet (Miss Jackson if you're nasty), thinks she might be allergic to marriage.

Miss Jackson (we're nasty), who's been married twice before and has been dating producer Jermaine Dupri since 2002, has no plans to tie the knot any time soon:

"So many people were putting pressure on [Jermaine], then they started pressuring me. Everybody would ask us about it – even friends."

"If it's [meant] to happen, it'll happen," she says. "I like where we are, and I'm happy where I am. I've done it twice before. I'm afraid I might be a jinx. I might be allergic to marriage."

"We both would love to have kids. Someday I know it's going to happen. Exactly when, I don't know."

Someday? How old is Miss Jackson? Oh right, she's not worried about that because she's going to freeze her eggs. Maybe she's just waiting until uncle Mike's face completely implodes so she has an excuse not to let him babysit?

[People: Janet Jackson: 'I Might Be Allergic to Marriage']

[Image via eonline.com]