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While You Were Sleeping: Foxy Brown Joins The Nipple Slip Parade

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:12:00 GMT

Charley Pride: country music legend and our Hero of the Day, no question.

This man's stripper addiction costs him pretty much his entire salary. Dude, you can rent a harem in most countries, including the US, every night of the week, for what you're throwing away in English pounds.

Spencer Tunick won't be showing naked Irish people to Ireland after all.

This is a tragic(ally hilarious?) tale of Mile High Club action gone wrong.

Don't text while driving-- it can cost you years of prison time.

Google Voice is coming to the iPhone. In other news, Scanner Brian may be coming to the iPhone today...

We told you about how meddling Puritan Republicans basically banned porn at Maryland State schools. Thankfully, the students aren't giving up
so easily...

Did Sam and Lindsay really break up this time? And does this mean this is the last time we'll ever have to mention their names in writing?

And Foxy Brown slipped a nip in concert. That is all you need to know.

Website Stockpiles Your Worst In-Flight Experiences

Skinny Blonde Beer As Misogynist As It Is Gimmicky

While You Were Sleeping: Britain's Next Topless Model

Ryanair Stewardess Wants You to Join Her Mile High Club

Sloppy Seconds: Gwyneth Paltrow Has a Cure for Joaquin Phoenix

Fake Shakespearean Actors Stage Colin Farrell Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 18:07:00 GMT

Have you heard about this live show called Celebrity Biographies where celebrities read from terrible celebrity books, such as Loni Anderson's memoirs? (Kristen Wiig, Rachel Dratch, and Sherri Shepherd are among the usual readers and the show is supposedly hysterical.)

Well, a couple of dudes from who knows where took this idea a step further-- they made this video of themselves putting on Shakespearean airs and reading celebrity sex tapes...

The actual, full sex tape can be seen here. It's not as bad as we thought, particularly once they get down to the actual sex. Here's a screenshot of the hotness if you can't watch it right now:

Related:

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Britney Spears Is (Almost) Not Completely Repulsive In Her New Video

10-Year-Old Boy Is the Lone Protester of Nude Sunbathing

While You Were Sleeping: Sasha Grey's Shot At The Mainstream

While You Were Sleeping: David Duchovny Can't Keep It Together

While You Were Sleeping: Lookin' For Asian Women

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:08:00 GMT

The new exhibit on sex and politics opened at the Kinsey Institute at the University of Indiana.

Ex-NBA star Kevin Johnson's run for the Mayor of Sacramento may be in jeopardy after it was revealed he (may have) used AmeriCorps members that were working with his nonprofit do personal errands for him. Oh, and there is the whiff of sex, too.

You'll never guess which celebrity is converting to the Jewish faith to please his girlfriend...

Irish actor Colin Farrell is reportedly abandoning his Catholic faith to convert to Judaism for new girlfriend Emma Forrest. [Farrell] has been dating British novelist Forrest since June, but the romance appears to be turning serious. [Starpulse]

A stolen Renoir was recovered in Italy three decades later.

An assistant principal who had a torrid affair-- with a 17-year-old female student-- will spend the next two years with big burly men.

A man in Brisbane is accused of stroking a latex vagina in front of two women. We're not sure why either.

The Playboy Mansion and the rest of Hugh Hefner's empire could be in trouble if he doesn't lay off some of his staff, according to recent rumors.

The best missed connection we saw this morning:

WHITE MALE LOOKING FO ASIAN WOMEN - m4w - 52 (QUEENS -LI)
I AM A WHITE MALE AND I NEVER HAD AN INDIAN WOMEN AND WOULD LIKE TO EXPERENCE IT. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED PLEASE WRITE BACK WITH A PICTURE AND YOUR AGE.

And Scarlett Johansson married Ryan Reynolds in Canada. Words escape us to aptly describe this tragedy.

While You Were Sleeping: The Playboy Selection Process

The 10 Best Date Movies

News Anchor Fired After His Swingers Craigslist Ad Cracks Up The Office

Where to Find a Craigslist Missed Connection in Alaska

This Weekend In Missed Connections: Bus Driver Blues

What The Bloody Hell Is St. Patrick's Day, Anyway?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:20:00 GMT

Is it, as practiced in this country, merely an excuse for people to get drunk? Moreover, is it the one chance for white males to have their day in the sun, cherishing a heritage that may or not actually be theirs? An excuse to grope redheads (as if we need one)? Or is it a real holiday, not created by Hallmark or McSorley's...?

To know more about why March 17th drives people to drink, we look to the all-knowing Wikipedia, which tells us nothing:

When he was about sixteen [Patrick] was captured by Irish raiders and taken as a slave to Ireland, where he lived for six years before escaping and returning to his family. He entered the church, as his father and grandfather had before him, becoming a deacon and a bishop.
Pious legend credits Patrick with banishing snakes from the island, though post-glacial Ireland never actually had snakes...

So, St. Patrick's Day is founded on a pack of lies. Better yet, to start a rumor, St. Patrick is a fraud and was created by a very stoned J.K. Rowling. Seriously, though, we're stil not sure how a day celebrating an ancient priest turned into the only time straight men can get away with holding each other's hair over a public toilet.

And according to the History Channel, it was only recently that the government of Ireland sold out to revelers who haven't gone to bed since Mardi Gras and are looking for an excuse to sing Pogues songs:

In modern-day Ireland, St. Patrick's Day has traditionally been a religious occasion. In fact, up until the 1970s, Irish laws mandated that pubs be closed on March 17. Beginning in 1995, however, the Irish government began a national campaign to use St. Patrick's Day as an opportunity to drive tourism and showcase Ireland to the rest of the world.

All we know is that however you celebrate tonight (wait, you started already?!), please don't subject us to any of the following:

MORE: New York Post on St. Patrick's Day