Scanner : i kissed a girl

Sloppy Seconds: Oral Sex is Bad, Mmmmkay?

Emily Farris — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 22:33:00 GMT

Apparently, we're one step closer to having eternal sunshine in our spotless minds. Except, instead of forgetting about Jim Carrey doctors might be able to make us forget how much we love hamburgers. And pulled pork. And cheesecake. And those little biscuits at the seafood place. And that would be so, so awesome. [NYT]

We sort of wish we would have waited to break our wrist at the Down & Derby that Cosmo Baker is spinning at instead of the one (about this time last year) that featured some DJ we'd never even heard of. Anyway, if you're in New York and a better roller skater than we are, you should check this out. We will be in town for it, but we will not be seeing you there. [TheKeyRoom]

An iPod you can control with your facial expressions? No thanks. One day we're walking down the street trying to skip from the Katy Perry version of "I Kissed a Girl" to the Jill Sobule version. Next thing you know the guy is telling the cops he could have sworn we were begging him to put his penis in our mouth. [Reuters]

That bisexual reality star we're no longer allowed to talk about thinks that she and Meghan McCain are very similar because they're both Scorpios and they both...wait for it... "have strong opinions about things." [Us]

While Farrah Fawcett fights an uphill battle against cancer her son Redmond can't help but get into a little bit of trouble. [RadarOnline]

Patrick Swayze seems to be faring a little better in the cancer department, though it's all still so sad. [People]

Here's yet another reminder that oral sex will give you mouth AIDS or cancer or something like that. [Jossip]

Speaking of oral... we have to admit that though we've heard her name, we have no idea who Aubrey O'Day is, but apparently Kathy Griffin likes the taste of her mouth. [FadedYouth]

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Emily Farris — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 23:01:00 GMT

A 15-year-old student in Florida has been suspended from school for three days because he farted on the bus. [Inquisitr]

Oh, Jesus. Some dude wants to make babies with "angel princess" Paris Hilton. [FadedYouth]

We were sort-of excited (okay, really excited) about "Lesbian Vampire Killers" until we read this: "The lesbian vampire queen, who is in fact the only one of the vampires who seems to genuinely be a lesbian rather than just a generally lusty vampire, can only be killed with the sword. It's a subtle moment, so let's rephrase: The lesbian curse is only lifted when the lesbian is penetrated by the cock sword." [Vulture]

Isaiah Washinton, who was fired from the cast of Grey's Anatomy in 2007 for making a gay slur at co-star T.R. Knight (who had not yet come out of the closet) is facing eviction from his Venice home. [Us]

Contrary to earlier reports, Katy Perry and Josh Groban are not dating. People everywhere continue to not care. [People]

Crazy Baby Lady Nadya Suleman still has not accepted any offers to do porn or any offers to do reality shows featuring Vivid girls. (P.S. Thems not enuf diapers.) [The Frisky]

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Breastfeeding

[Image]

Real or Fake? Katy Perry Nude Photo

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 17:26:00 GMT

This supposed Katy Perry nude candid has been floating around the internet today. Our immediate reaction was "absolutely not her," but then we started to second guess ourselves...

Has the "I Kissed A Girl And I Figured No One Would Remember Jill Sobule" singer had a nose job? That could explain that minor problem. Of course, then you'd have to figure this was taken at least two years ago, maybe three, to account for how her body has, um, completely changed. Normaly, we wouldn't even bother with this if not for the fact that 50% of blog comments we've come across claim "with absolute certainty" that it's the Brit pop artist.

What do you say?

One thing we can say with relative certainty: this was not Photoshopped. And now if someone would please leak the Zooey Deschanel sex tape to us-- you all know it's gotta be out there...

Top photo via CNET.

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Sloppy Seconds: What Does LiLo Have Against ScarJo?

Emily Farris — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 22:09:00 GMT

We love Brian Williams and we love food courts (our first job was at Chinese Delight in the Independence Center, yo) so it should come as no surprise that we really love that NBC's Brian Williams loves to eat in food courts. [Parade]

Disney meal ticket Miley Cyrus was killed by a drunk driver over the weekend. Except totally not at all! [MTV]

Michael Jackson is being sued by the future king of Bahrain after Jackson supposedly backed out of a recording contract. [Radar]

How much fashion is really involved in the Victoria's Secret fashion show? Because we just see lots of skin. [NY Daily News]

Did you know that Scarlett Johansson was the inspiration behind Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl?" [People]

Could that be why Lindsay Lohan is no fan of Scarlett Johansson. Probably not. Two years after LiLo wrote some nasty words about ScarJo on a New York bathroom stall, Johansson still has no idea why LiLo hates her. [Us]

Who Would You Rather: Katy Perry vs. Zooey Deschanel?

Emily Farris — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 20:18:00 GMT

Every time we see a picture of Katy Perry, we think to ourselves, "What is Zooey Deschanel doing in Us Weekly?" Then we realize it's Perry, the girl who kissed a girl who's not Jill Sobule. We're big fans of She & Him, Deschanel's musical venture with M. Ward, but we don't know much about Perry's music other than the fact that some conservative Christians can't get into. But, like you really care about the music. What we really want to know is which look-a-like songstress would you rather: Katy Perry or Zooey Deschanel?