Scanner : harrison ford

Shia LaBeouf's Oedipus Complex

Emily Farris — Tue, 05 May 2009 17:49:00 GMT

We're all for boys respecting their mothers and even for thinking that Mama is the most beautiful woman on the planet. But Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull star Shia LaBeouf might have just crossed the creepy line when talking to Playboy.

When asked by the magazine who he thought was the sexiest person he knew, he said it was his mother. But LaBeouf didn't stop there.

“Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother. She’s an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren’t my mother, as sick as that sounds.”

It does sound sick, Shia. But, on the bright side, this is probably good news for fangirls who look a little like Mama LaBeouf.

The Life-Saving Power of Breasts

While You Were Sleeping: Madonna's Breakdown?

Tom Hanks of Tomorrow Looking Like Drunk Asshole of Today

[Via The Inqisitr]

"Star Wars" Retold by Someone Who Hasn't Seen it Sounds About Right to Us

Emily Farris — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:34:00 GMT

As we have admitted here more than once, we have never seen "Star Wars." We don't know why, really. Maybe our parents did a terrible job of raising us? Whatever the reason, we probably now hold the blame ourselves for doing absolutely nothing about it. But it's sort of become this thing, like a party trick: "I've never seen 'Star Wars!'" Maybe it's our Cinderella shoe; perhaps we're fated to marry the man who finally sits us down and makes us watch it. Until then we're perfectly content to watch "'Star Wars' Retold by Someone Who Hasn't Seen It," a video made by some guy after his friend Amanda told him she'd never seen the Triology but could tell him what happens.

We're glad to know that we're not the only ones who think Han is named Hans.

Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

Related:

Star Wars Tattoos... and Shame

Video of the Day: Star Wars Trumpet Solo

Did Han Solo Show Princess Leia His Spaceballs in the Trailer? (this is the post we corrected from 'Hans' to 'Han' after a nice commenter told us what was up)

Video of the Day: "Princess Bride" Lightsaber Battle

Today in Unlikely Couples: David Spade and....

Emily Farris — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 18:11:00 GMT

David Spade was caught smooching with a new lady over the weekend. We were surprised when David Spade dated Heather Locklear. And again when he married some model. So we're not all that surprised by this. It's not that he's unattractive, he's just... David Spade, you know?

So, who is Spade's new lady friend?

Nicollette Sheridan and David Spade were spotted smooching Friday night at Beverly Hills restaurant Luau. There to celebrate Sheridan's 45th birthday, the pair — who arrived separately and began dinner at separate booths — 'couldn't resist each other for long,' a source tells Usmagazine.com.

According to the source, Spade winked at Sheridan and was by her side as she blew out the candles on her birthday cake. Later, the pair reportedly holed up in a booth where they 'cuddled and kissed.'

Sheridan's people say she's not dating Spade. Mhmm.

[MollyGood: New Make Out Buddies Alert]

Related:

The Last Days of Chris Farley

Sloppy Seconds: Desperate Housewives

While You Were Sleeping: Sex and Chocolate

[Image, Image]

While You Were Sleeping: Mischa Barton Can't Keep Her Clothes On

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Once you read this family's story, you won't have much to complain about anymore.

Joe Biden's mother-in-law died. The Senator has canceled most of his upcoming events. Meanwhile, seven members of the Palin administration (gack! no, we mean her administration in Alaska, don't worry) agreed to testify in the Troopergate investigation. They'll probably say they didn't know anything about the unethical firing; after all, everyone who actually knows something is refusing to cooperate.

Tonight, VH1 broadcasts the Hip Hop Honors, with awards going to Cypress Hill, Isaac Hayes, Naughty By Nature, and De La Soul, among other legends.

Kimbo Slice got knocked down... and out... in a few seconds.

Mischa Barton hasn't learned anything from her most recent nipple slip.

This 25-year-old teacher learned the hard way that you shouldn't send people naked photos over the internet for any reason. Well, you should, but you shouldn't be surprised if people don't keep them private.

And it sounds like Indiana Jones 5 may be on. Not that it's going to be any good, but hey... somebody's still watching this nonsense...

Mischa Barton's Nip Slip

New Zealand Teacher In Hot Water For Her Other Job As A Hooker

Junior High Teacher Charged With... Oh My...

Girl, Molested By Teacher And Guidance Counselor, Is Kicked Out Of School

Video of the Day: Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Gay Rabbi

Emily Farris — Thu, 22 May 2008 16:12:00 GMT

We wanted to hate this, we really did. But in the end, we couldn't.

Did Han Solo Show Princess Leia His Spaceballs in the Trailer?

Emily Farris — Thu, 01 May 2008 13:13:00 GMT

Carrie Fisher recently hinted that she and Harrison Ford may have had an affair while filming the Star Wars movies.

"I went on the film saying, 'I'm going to have an affair', like it was a kiwi, an exotic fruit - because I had never had one. I'm going to get into so much trouble. Once, I left the room and came back and Harrison was in the closet not wearing a lot of clothes! I had a crush on Harrison for sure. Harrison is great fun when he has had a few drinks."

So either he totally played her or they totally did it. In costume, we hope.

[Gabby Babble: Carrie Fisher Hints About Affair with Harrison Ford]

Sloppy Seconds: Pretty Young Things

Emily Farris — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:33:00 GMT

Chelsea Clinton can't get enough of the gays. And apparently, they can't get enough of her. [Queerty]

Suri Cruise is two-years-old. And still so fucking cute. We just want to squeeze her! [People]

If you are a pedophile, you might enjoy these "sexy" pictures of Miley Cyrus. [JustJared]

The other U.S. American Miss South Carolina will work for the John McCain campaign and like such as. [Wonkette]

We still have our high school class ring somewhere. Do you? What's that all about, anyway? [Neatorama]

Wired reports from the FIRST Robotics Championship. [Wired]

Ever wonder about the origins of Harrison Ford's kind-of dorky earring? Us neither, but you might be interested to know it involved Jimmy Buffet and drunk lunch. [Yahoo!]

When we first learned that Harry Potter star Emma Watson would replace Scarlett Johansson in a Napoleon biopic, we thought about doing a Who Would You Rather? But then we remembered that Emma was just a baby. Turns out she's 18 now. God, they grow up so fast. So, uh, who would you rather? No. Sorry. That's still kind-of wrong. [People]

New "Indiana Jones" Trailer Bums Us Out

Bryan Christian — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 17:00:00 GMT

Raiders of the Lost Ark has always struck us as a perfect film. We've just never been able to find ourselves anything other than blissfully hypnotized by the thing, and we've never been able to find a single thing that we would change about it.

So we're gonna do what we can to stick our fingers in our ears and go "la la la" at the end of May, because boy howdy, does the trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull sure look crummy. We love Ray Winstone and Cate Blanchett, but man oh man, Harrison Ford sure seems to be, er, taking it easy. The filmmaking looks like classic Spielberg-lite -- going for the easy reveals, the dumb self-references, and the most Goldbergianly implausible ancient ruins. And are they actually gonna set a comedically poor car chase in the same warehouse that supposedly houses the Ark of the Covenant? We're thinking they might.

We'd also heard there's a real possiblity that alien artifacts figure prominently in this movie -- a rumor that seems at least slightly confirmed by the appearance of a magnetic box labeled "Roswell, 1947" about 3/4 of the way through. Which is weird, because from what we can glean from the leaked X-Files 2 trailer (which looks great) -- the ET's aren't showing up opposite Agents Mulder and Scully. How did that switcheroo happen exactly?

Indiana Jones Sound FX Whip Makes All Your Harrison Ford Fantasies Come To Life

Emily Farris — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 15:41:00 GMT

We have to admit we're pretty excited about the new Indiana Jones movie for reasons including but not limited to Cate Blanchett and the Indiana Jones Sound FX Whip.

This $20 whip may be for children age 6 and up, but we imagine it will have an older customer base. It plays the Raiders of the Lost Ark theme and "motion activated whip cracking sounds" when you whip someone or something with it, and well, it's a fucking whip. Not. For. Children. Six-year-olds are too busy worrying about Hannah Montana and whatever else the kids are into these days, anyway. Leave the big-kid toys to us big kids, why don't you children?

Anyway, it goes on sale May 1. Our birthday is May 9. We're just sayin'...

[Hasbro: Indiana Jones Sound FX Whip via Gizmodo]