Scanner : grey's anatomy

Sloppy Seconds: Because Breast Milk is Cheaper Than Cow's Milk?

Emily Farris — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 22:33:00 GMT

HBO is developing a new show called "Women's Studies." And we all know what that means. [AfterEllen]

Author JG Ballard, perhaps best known for his book "Empire of the Sun" is dead at 78. [Yahoo!]

If Pulitzer Prize winners are being laid off, is there any hope for us? [Portfolio]

Tennis star Andy Roddick married his girlfriend Brooklyn Decker on Friday. [People]

Though we never had the fear ourselves, we've always understood why certain kids were afraid of the toilet. Now kids everywhere have even more reason to steer clear of the porcelain sucking machine after a three-year-old got her foot stuck in the handle of one (how that happens we don't know) and firefighters had to rescue her. [Telegraph]

Grey's Anatomy star Ellen Pompeo is preggers. [Us]

Food made with breast milk is all the rage these days. Maybe it has to do with the price of cow's milk going up? Anyway, the newest breast milk product is cheese. A recent art exhibit in London featured the product. [APP]

Related:

Which Would The Hipster Rather: Breast Milk Cupcakes vs. Cow Milk Cupcakes?

Breast Milk: To Suckle Or Not To Suckle

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Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse is "Back in the Saddle"

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 22:34:00 GMT

That girl from Twilight will play Joan Jett in a still unnamed film about The Runaways. [AfterEllen]

The saddest thing we've seen all day: 11 extinct animals that have been photographed alive. [EcoWorldly]

The most depressing thing we've seen all day: the unfolding story of the hostage situation in Binghamton, NY. [CNN]

We (read: Scanner Emily) still need your 10 stars. Real bad. Because we need $200. Real bad. Pretty please? [MissedTees]

We (read: Scanner Collen) still need you to vote for our dream photography assignment. Because we also need $50,000. Real bad. Pretty please? [Name Your Dream Assignment]

Now all three of your Scanners are on Twitter, even though only one of us stays true to the Scanner name. [Scanner Emily, Scanner Colleen, Scanner Brian]

Remember yesterday when Madonna threw a party to celebrate an adoption that hadn't yet been approved? Um, yeah. Maybe not the best idea she ever had. [Us]

Apparently there was a fractured penis scene in last night's ER finale. Was it a swipe at Grey's Anatomy? [The Remote Island]

On April 11 Alternative Nation Countdown Takeover, a show on Sirius radio, will premiere new solo material from Rivers Cuomo that features Jason Schwartzman Rainn Wilson. Weird. Cool. [Rolling Stone]

According to a post on her MySpace blog this morning (obviously not written by her) Amy Winehouse is hard at work on her third album. We'll believe it when we hear it. Either way, we thought you'd enjoy seeing this picture again. [MySpace]

Related:

Sloppy Seconds: Amy Winehouse's New Single Life

"My dog humped your leg. I wanted to."

Support a Scanner or Two

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Sloppy Seconds: Crazy Baby Lady Holds Out, Won't Put Out

Emily Farris — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 23:01:00 GMT

A 15-year-old student in Florida has been suspended from school for three days because he farted on the bus. [Inquisitr]

Oh, Jesus. Some dude wants to make babies with "angel princess" Paris Hilton. [FadedYouth]

We were sort-of excited (okay, really excited) about "Lesbian Vampire Killers" until we read this: "The lesbian vampire queen, who is in fact the only one of the vampires who seems to genuinely be a lesbian rather than just a generally lusty vampire, can only be killed with the sword. It's a subtle moment, so let's rephrase: The lesbian curse is only lifted when the lesbian is penetrated by the cock sword." [Vulture]

Isaiah Washinton, who was fired from the cast of Grey's Anatomy in 2007 for making a gay slur at co-star T.R. Knight (who had not yet come out of the closet) is facing eviction from his Venice home. [Us]

Contrary to earlier reports, Katy Perry and Josh Groban are not dating. People everywhere continue to not care. [People]

Crazy Baby Lady Nadya Suleman still has not accepted any offers to do porn or any offers to do reality shows featuring Vivid girls. (P.S. Thems not enuf diapers.) [The Frisky]

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Breastfeeding

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Sloppy Seconds: Bobby Jindal Is A Big, Fat Liar

Emily Farris — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 22:05:00 GMT

Some whack job is in custody after mailing HIV-tainted blood to President Obama. [CNN]

As if you needed more reasons to have sex. [Physorg]

Oh no! Ed McMahon is hospitalized with pneumonia, and he's in serious condition. Can this poor guy not get a break? [Us]

It appears Jessica Capshaw will remain on the cast of "Grey's Anatomy" for at least the duration of the current season. And you know what that means: more hot, lesbian doctor action! [AfterEllen]

Hey, remember that heartwarming story about Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal standing shoulder to shoulder with a sheriff who was trying to rescue people during Hurricane Katrina? Yeah, turns out it was a big, fat lie. [TPMMuckraker]

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While You Were Sleeping: More Grey's Anatomy Turmoil

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

Audrina Partridge had her home broken into by two very bizarre young citizens. In surveillance footage, they can be seen wandering aimlessly from room to room... and back again... and again... without doing much of anything, let alone steal anything or set fire to the place.

Arrested Development: the Movie was finally greenlit, thanks to lazy-assed Michael Cera coming aboard.

This oh-so-adorable young lady was arrested for assaulting her boyfriend's nutsack. Prior to this incident, they had broken up "approximately 20 times," yet she seemed rather surprised to find that the dude had another ladyfriend over for the night.

We were all excited to hear Andy Richter would be rejoining Conan on TV, but it turns out he's just going to be the announcer. Guess Conan's enjoying his solo career.

Can a resident of the UK explain to us why so many Brits use "miles an hour" in their speech? Does it have something to do with the universal use of nautical miles? (Oh, and check out the video we just linked to. The 71-year-old dude quoted in it is our new personal hero.)

The Beatles recorded a version of "Revolution" that was only recently discovered and you really must hear it.

Is McDreamy really leaving the hospital on Grey's Anatomy?

And Maxim men of the world, rejoice: Megan Fox is single again. But before you get any ideas... guess which first name she has tattooed near her crotch? She wouldn't even have to deal with that pesky removal process if she just returned our calls...

Megan Fox Is So Hot Right Now, GQ Can Just Recycle Her Photos

Sloppy Seconds: Nine-Year-Old Girl Marries in Texas

Don't Miss the Awesomeness on Late Night's Goodbye Week

Sloppy Seconds: Kanye West Dresses Better Than the Gays

Emily Farris — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 00:01:00 GMT

It turns out T.R. Knight isn't the only actor leaving the cast of Grey's Anatomy. Katherine Heigl is on her way out, too. [Defamer]

Rihanna, who was allegedly beat-up by her boyfriend Chris Brown, has been released from the hospital but is postponing a show she's set to play in Malaysia. [Yahoo!]

We're totally onboard for the Michael Phelps backlash-backlash. [Jossip]

Want to know what the hell kind of fertility clinic would inseminate a 33-year-old single mother of six with eight fucking more babies? [SNAFU-ed]

Britney Spears took her assistant back from the Jonas Brothers. Damn straight. [Us]

Media outlets are looking for sugar daddies to get them through the recession. Come to think of it, we wouldn't mind one, either. [DailyIntel]

Guys, Kanye West is just really secure with his manhood, okay? "There's a lot of gay people that I dress way better than." [MTV]

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Top 10 Hottest Women Size 10 and Up

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 16:57:00 GMT

Late last year, as men's magazines were coming out with their hottest women on the planet lists, we started to put together a list of hot, normal-sized women. As much as we hate the idea of having to create a separate list for women size 10 and up, we can't imagine the editors of FHM or Maxim drooling over a size 10 or 12. You can call Beyonce curvy all you want, she's probably still only a size 6. Hence the need for this list.

Unfortunately, we got stuck at around seven. We couldn't come up with ten relevant, prominent women who were the size of the average American woman (14) who could turn heads. Frustrated, we gave up on it. But last week, when we heard that Anna Wintour—who, to put it plainly, does not like fat girls—was going to fill the pages of Vogue with pictures of British songstress and former Crush of the Week Adele, we enlisted the help of our girlfriends to complete the list. It turns out most of them were frustrated, too, that they couldn't contribute more than one or two names. "This is sadly hard!!!" wrote one, to which we replied, "Actually, it's infuriatingly hard." But three months and 37 emails later, we have a list of ten amazingly hot women who we assume* wear a size 10 or larger. We know we've left plenty of beautiful women off of this list (and we hope you'll list them in the comments section), but we hope you'll enjoy Scanners Top 10 Hottest Women Size 10 and Up.

10. Keely Shaye Smith
Though she has an acting career of her own, we really only know Kelly Shaye Smith as Pierce Brosnan's wife—and unfortunately only because tabloids made terrible fun of some bikini photos of her. But we give Brosnan two thumbs up for his beautiful buxom bride of eight years.

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9. Missy Elliott
We have a hard time imagining Missy Elliot in anything but a trash bag, but once she ditched that getup, she got pretty damn hot. (Okay, she was hot then, but the trash bag really wasn't doing much for her.)

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8. Janet Weiss
Is there anything hotter than a chick who plays bass? How about a chick who plays drums? Janet Weiss, former drummer for the now defunct riot grrrl band Sleater-Kinney, now plays with Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks.

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7. Sara Ramirez
She was hot as George's wife, Callie Watts on Grey's Anatomy, but now that she's bringing some hot, lesbian action to the show, we imagine Sara Ramirez has earned herself a whole new set of fans (including us!).

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6. Adele
Had anyone heard of Adele before she made an appearance on what will forever be referred to as Sarah Palin's Saturday Night Live episode? Lucky for her, and us, everyone was watching. Just a few short months later, she took home a Grammy for Best New Artist.

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5. Jennifer Hudson
From American Idol to Dreamgirls to her 2009 Grammy Award for Best R&B Album, whenever we see Jennifer Hudson, we can't help but be proud of our own curves. We usually also put on a tight dress and dance around the house to Supremes albums.

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4. Neko Case
Men want her and women want to be her. Neko Case is a woman you can't help but like, and the ~~former~~ front woman for the New Pornographers is beautiful with her firey red hair and pale skin. At first we had a hard time believing Case was a 10, but we have it on very good authority (a friend who works in the music industry) that she is. And we like it.

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3. Queen Latifah
Easy, breezy, beautiful CoverGirl, actress, singer and rapper Queen Latifah has managed to reinvent herself enough to remain relevant—and smokin'—for 20 years. Here's hoping for another 20.

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2. Nigella Lawson
Without the T&A we all love so much, Nigella Lawson could probably squeeze that little waist of hers into a size 6. But we would hate for that to happen. Not only is she gorgeous, Lawson has gone through so much shit in her life (she lost her mother, her sister and her first husband to cancer) yet still manages to make sure we all eat enough chocolate.

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1. Christina Hendricks
We have to bow at the feet of Christina Hendricks for bringing Joan Holloway and her gorgeous curves into our lives, and back into the mainstream popular culture. While she likes her dresses snug, we heard from someone who used to share her clothes that she's most certainly a size 10. And on a scale of 1 to 10, a 10.

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*Disclaimer: This size thing is based purely on our own assumptions and/or input from people who claim to know. But being a size 10 ourselves, we're pretty good at guessing these things.

Related:

Top 10 Rich People Who Look Poor

Top 10 Things We Didn't Need to Waste Time Doing This Year But Did Anyway (File Under: Facebook)

Top 10 Ways to Avoid Becoming The Crazy Cat Lady

Scanner Emily's Top 10 Lessons Learned in 2008

Scanner Emily's Top 10 Lessons Learned in 2007

Crush of the Week: Adele

Jennifer Hudson Looking Hot on Her New Album Cover

Sloppy Seconds: Blake-Fielder Civil Escapes (More) Prison (Time)

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 22:25:00 GMT

Patrick Dempsey didn't dig the doc firing on Grey's Anatomy. Perhaps he knows something we don't about ABC's true motives?

This guy will either be dead or a legend by 27.

Eddie Izzard made the really dumb decision, as he is not a US citizen, to donate to Obama. He made an even dumber one when he admitted to doing so on CNN.

Michael Crichton died of cancer, a battle which was kept entirely private.

Who gave 50 Cent a reality show? Jesus Christ. Well, at least it's a positive show for a change.

And Amy Winehouse's husband ("Blakey," we think his name is) was released from jail after a year of hell... or, if you're married to Amy Winehouse, womb-like bliss.

10-Year-Old Boy Is the Lone Protester of Nude Sunbathing

Obama and McCain Supporters Bring Out the Worst In All of Us

While You Were Sleeping: Amy Winehouse's Scientology Cure

While You Were Sleeping: Minnie Driver Pops Out A Future Celebrity

This Week In Gayness: We Say No To That Yes On Prop 8

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 19:56:00 GMT

As we reported earlier, the gay romance on Grey's Anatomy has ended, thanks to a questionable change in the TV show's storyline. Hmmm...

We're still wondering about these gay-baiting robo-calls.

How is this guy still allowed out of the house? Ever? He should do 500 years in prison, at minimum:

A gay disc jockey in Raleigh originally convicted of violating HIV infection regulations in August has been placed on house arrest after admitting he broke probation orders in early October. On Sept. 6, Q-Notes reported that Joshua Waldon Weaver, 23, who works in clubs in Raleigh and Wilmington, pleaded guilty to charges that he failed to disclose his HIV-positive status and engaged in unprotected sex with three people. Weaver was given a suspended jail sentence and placed on probation. The terms of his probation ordered Weaver to use protection when engaging in sexual activity. About two weeks ago Weaver was arrested after Wake County Public Health officials contacted his probation officer with information that he had possibly violated court orders by having sex without a condom. Assistant District attorney Boz Zellinger told The News & Observer that health officials became aware of the DJ's violation after he contracted another sexually transmitted disease that could have been prevented by the use of a condom. Weaver could have faced 40 days in jail for his most recent violation, but District Court Judge Jacqueline Brewer instead sentenced him to six months of electronically-monitored house arrest. He will not be allowed to leave his father's house except for probation-approved employment.

Not that it matters now, but Obama did not support Prop 8. Pro 8, as you may have heard, appears to have passed, thanks to bigoted Mormons and, ironically, the black vote. Meanwhile, Florida and Arizona aren't helping move this country out of the Dark Ages.

And the Simpsons are causing controversy once again, this time with gay groups decrying the latest episode of the hit Fox show. (You can see the clip here, with the offending section at 15:45.)

Bart Simpson's cartoon nemesis is being blasted for his use of the schoolyard taunt "that's so gay" while bullying resident nerd Milhouse Van Houten in The Simpsons' annual Halloween episode airing last Sunday.

But the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network says the remark is nothing to laugh at.

"Many people say gay without even realizing what they're saying is bad,'" GLSEN spokesman Daryl Presgraves tells E! News.

Related:

While You Were Sleeping: Paris Hilton Wants To Be Used... For Her Brain

Democratic State Senator Busted For Stuffing Her Bra

This Week In Gayness: Guy Attacked At Proposition 8 Protest

Playboy's Presidential Sex Quiz A Welcome Distraction From Boring Obama Stories

Sloppy Seconds: Which Olsen Twin Would Like You to Put a Baby in Her?

Sloppy Seconds: The Grey's Anatomy Lesbian Controversy

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 21:31:00 GMT

We're wrapping up early today so we can stay glued to the TV. Check out our election thread here.

The Examiner examined the worst celebrity magazine covers of all time. Guess how many are David Duchovny photos?

Another naked prank went wrong.

How the hell did this end up in a kid's Halloween candy bag?

When their children returned from Halloween trick-or-treating, a couple found suspected methamphetamine and $85 in cash among their 7-year-old son's Snickers bars and Skittles. Lars and Shelly Brosdahl called police, who confirmed that the substance was methamphetamine, worth up to $200 on the street. [AP/Yahoo]

An enraged husband and his two brothers got a drunk and cut off his dick as revenge for a supposed sex act committed with the enraged man's wife.

A man who raped a horse got off easy. (No pun intended, please!)

Brooke Smith's role as Dr. Erica Hahn on Grey's Anatomy is over. Do you think it's discrimination? The argument didn't convince us either way.

And the Kate Winslet-Vanity Fair photos Scanner Emily posted yesterday are causing the predictable controvsery. Airbrushed? Photoshopped? Who cares?

Related:

Kate Winslet Takes it Off for Vanity Fair

Woman Kills Rapist With Shotgun Blast Through Her Front Door

While You Were Sleeping: The Naked Mannequin Orgy

Gisele Bundchen Finds Another Excuse To Take Off Her Clothes

20-Year-Old Teacher Strips For Her Students... On Video

And You Thought Bill Clinton Was A Sex-Crazed Politician...

Britney Spears Is (Almost) Not Completely Repulsive In Her New Video

Who Would You Rather: Grey's Anatomy Lesbian Doctor Edition

Emily Farris — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 20:34:00 GMT

Last night's Grey's Anatomy was filled with all kinds of hilarity, including some guy's face being comedically peeled off, and Dr. Bailey's comarison of performing oral sex on a female to eating "stew on a piece of sour bread." (Huh?) Anyway, with that comment she was trying to help Dr. Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez, pictured left) become more comfortable with her new relationship with Dr. Erica Hahn (Brooke Smith, pictured right)—the show's first lesbian doctor couple.

Now, the question is, if you can't have them both at the same time (which you can't) which would you rather?

Related:

Who Would You Rather: Joe "Boobies" Francis vs. Hugh Hefner?

Who Would You Rather: Nancy Grace vs. Rachael Ray?

Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Gordon Ramsay vs. Bobby Flay?

Who Would You Rather: The Anne Hathaway Who Enjoys Anal Sex or The Anne Hathaway Who Doesn't?

Who Would You Rather: House vs. McDreamy

Ellen Pompeo Goes Nude For Allure

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:37:00 GMT

This is one of those photo sessions where the photographer and model decide to head back in time to a version of America that nobody actually remembers...

Not that we're complaining about the art direction on this photo shoot, because it's memorable and enjoyable, and not just for the view of Ellen in the buff.

Fortunately for our readers, there's nothing too scandalous about these photos-- in other words, they are sfw. However, we kind of wish they were even racier...

Check out the article here.

Sloppy Seconds: Brad and Angelina and the French Brawl

Sloppy Seconds: Elizabeth Hasselbeck Not Sure What A Vibrator Is For

Who Would You Rather: House vs. McDreamy

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 17:23:00 GMT

Plus the results of our "Who Would You Rather: Julie Newmar vs. Michelle Pfeiffer" Catwoman edition...

The winner... Julie Newmar, with 53% of the vote. (Of course, Eartha Kitt may have played third party spoiler in this case...)

Which is the bigger TV doctor sex symbol? Hugh Laurie, as the title character on Fox's "House, M.D." or Patrick Dempsey as Dr. McSteamy on ABC's "Grey's Anatomy"? Future philosophers will debate this very question over robot-made Red Bull Infused Hot Tea... or whatever they'll be doing in 2009...

Previously:

Who Would You Rather: Michelle Pfeiffer vs. Julie Newmar

Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Gordon Ramsay vs. Bobby Flay?

Who Would You Rather?: Kanye West vs. Jay Z

Who Would You Rather: Founding Fathers Edition

The Wire: We Was Robbed (of an Emmy Nomination)

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:40:00 GMT

The Wire, the HBO series which some critics believe is the closest thing to Shakespeare we've ever come, has failed in its final attempt to capture a Best Drama Emmy nod.

The lucky ones (Damages, 30 Rock) and the losers (Grey's Anatomy, many more), below...

Best comedy series: 30 Rock, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, The Office, and Two And A Half Men.

Someday (television) historians will look back and say... what, no "Flight of the Conchords?" And Two And A Half Men? What the fuck is that show?

Best drama series: Boston Legal, Damages, Dexter, House, Lost, Mad Men

It's hard to argue with these choices, except for the fact that The Wire would mop the floor with these shows if anyone actually compared them.

Other nominations of note:

1) Alec Baldwin and Tony Shalhoub face off in the Best lead actor in a comedy department.

2) 30 Rock's seventeen Emmy nominations is a record for a comedy series. Yes, it's that damned good.

3) Mad Men received 16 (!) nods... a week ago, you couldn't find sixteen Emmy voters who had heard of the show, let alone seen it. Hype works, people...

4) The nominations of Damages and Mad Men for best drama is unprecedented: never before has any basic cable series competed in this category.

5) The Wire was nominated for best writing, which it may win on the sympathy factor.

6) Grey's Anatomy and Desperate Housewives were virtually shut out. (Grey's Anatomy got Sandra Oh a best supporting actress nod.)

The full list of nominations is here. Commentary here and here.

Sloppy Seconds: Half-Naked Woman At A Blue Jays Game

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 21:01:00 GMT

...which begs the obvious question... what were these knuckleheads doing actually watching the game?

Minnie Driver publicly thanked the biggest bunch of airheaded surfer dudes for their heroic efforts after video aired of the beach bums pounding some paparazzi into submission. The very pregnant Driver was trying to enjoy a day on the beach when privacy-invading photographers swept in with their long lenses. Check out the story and video, complete with full "don't photo me, bro" goodness.

There's a new movie playing in London about a boat orgy that ends when one guy hits a girl in the back of the head during sex and kills her. The title? "Donkey Punch," of course.

Is Grey's Anatomy going to kill off Katherine Heigel's character?

[S]taffers are considering giving her character, Dr. Izzie Stevens, a brain tumor.
“[Producer] Shonda [Rhimes] and the writers are pissed at her [for dissing them after she refused to be considered for an Emmy, saying the past season's material was terrible],” the source tells Us. “It’s their way of screwing with her. She won’t know whether she’s going to live or die.”

Wired is really hyping their cover story on Julia Allison-- we've seen three ads online for it just in the last day. Apparently the editors were unaware the rest of the media covered this story back in the 2006 era.

A man claims he found a seven-inch knife in his sandwich in a New York City Subway restaurant. We're not sure why he's complaining-- we've found far worse things in ours...

Saturday's Blue Jays game was apparently not Bobblehead Doll Day, as advertised, but rather Topless Blond In A Hotel Overlooking The Field Day. The Ottawa Sun, which broke the story, has a full rundown of other similar incidences at the Renaissance Inn:

May 1990
During a Blue Jays game, hotel security and police throw out a man who was seen masturbating behind a hotel room window that overlooked the baseball diamond. Police said the man thought he was behind a one-way window.
May 1990
A couple has sex in one of the 70 hotel rooms overlooking a ball game attended by 55,000 fans. The couple -- who apparently weren't aware they could be seen with the lights off -- were "mortified." The incident received media attention around the world, including five minutes on The Arsenio Hall Show.
The Jays lost.
May 1995
In front of 40,000 fans, a couple has sex in a chair right next to the window overlooking the field during the 7th inning of a Jays-Royals match. The couple were seen right above the then-Jumbotron (now the Rogers Centre videoboard).
The Jays lost.

And more at the Ottawa Sun website.

Sloppy Seconds: Sienna Miller Had a Bikini Malfunction, And We Have Pictures

Emily Farris — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 21:19:00 GMT

Christina Ricci is looking great, if a little too skinny, in the upcoming issue of Blackbook Magazine. [Pop on the Pop]

Aww. Geek love. Ain't it sweet? A programmer proposed to his girlfriend by reprogramming her favorite (cell phone?) game, Bejeweled, to actually do the asking once she reached a certain score. Score! [Yahoo!]

Are Michael and Dinah Lohan officially the worst parents in the history of the world? [FameCrawler]

We're all for people voting, but if we hear one more word from The Hills' Heidi Montag about this election, we're moving to China. Especially since she's NOT EVEN REGISTERED TO VOTE. [MTV]

Oh sweet baby Jesus Christ Lord, no. Or, yes? Britney Spears may soon reveal her deepest, darkest thoughts via video blog. [StarPulse]

Could we be any more excited about the fact that both "LOST" and "Grey's Anatomy" will have two-hour season finales? Unfortunately, no, we're just that dorky. [StarPulse]

If Uma Thurman has low self-esteem, is there any hope for the rest of us? [Celebrity Smack]

Well, hey, at least The Daily Mail is good for one thing: star bikini malfunctions. But might we suggest some straps for Ms. Miller? Or maybe she'll start a new trend like when she wore black underwear over black pantyhose. Seriously, we've been seeing that everywhere. [The Daily Mail]