Scanner : germany

While You Were Sleeping: Sex Tape For Sale

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 08 May 2009 15:20:00 GMT

We were beginning to think he might actually get away with it: Drew Peterson was arrested yesterday and charged with the murder of his third wife.

John Mayer is playing a series of intimate concerts, featuring only his new material, for his staff.

Gotta love this guy: A bar owner lit up a cigarette at the Ohio health department as a protest over the bar smoking ban. Of course, to top it off, he threatened to have the department fined for allowing him to smoke.

Next on the block for porn parodies: 30 Rock!

Memo to hideous-looking billionaire divorcing Stephanie Seymour: it's all uphill from here.

Believe it or not, kids, pictured above is the cast of The Goonies. And yes, Chunk is the little bald man in back-- at least, that's what everyone says.

Rich Berliners complained about a local brothel, so judges "expected" it and found it to be "discreet." We're not making this up.

Kiefer Sutherland's California probation could be revoked because of his misdemeanor arrest in New York.

Dude, you were making a lot of money off of the Body World thing-- why did you have to go and show two dead people having sex?

And an ex-boyfriend of Deanna Hummel, the woman alleged to have had an affair with Jon Gosselin from the reality show we'd never heard of and think is desperate for some publicity, has released a sex tape of a woman he claims is Hummel. (Very NSFW link here.) At this point, we're guessing there was no affair and, even if there was, this sex tape looks fake.

While You Were Sleeping: Nudist Hotel

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 07 May 2009 15:19:00 GMT

A new series on Hollywood film directors appears tonight and it looks pretty good, if you're into that sort of thing.

Donald Trump says a decision on Miss California will come today-- as The Dirty prepares to followup with a second topless photo.

The X-Men movies are being spun off into a new series of stories starring, ugh, Ryan Reynolds.

Ladies, where were you? Nate Silver went to a party and had to stand there... all alone.

A forty-five-year-old woman may become the oldest person to have a boxing championship title.

Germany is planning its first nudist hotel.

Feministing discussed the attacks on Carrie Prejean and whether they are justified or just mean ol' "slut shaming."

Kiefer Sutherland will be charged with misdemeanor assault for head-butting a designer who decked Brooke Shields.

And Katy Perry once got (fake) married in Vegas.

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Today in Dita Von Teese: a Younger Frenchman

Colleen Kane — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 21:01:00 GMT

We hate the double standard of pointing out how much younger a female star's boyfriend is when he's like ten years younger. With men in Hollywood dating women a decade younger, no one would bat an eyelash.

That aside, 36-year-old Dita Von Teese has been spotted about town and at Coachella with some young blood! Considering DVT's last major romantic link was Marilyn Manson, who wants to see who she does for an encore?

The exotically named Frenchman Count Louis-Marie de Castelbajac, who for our purposes is now called The Count (Ah ha ha ha) is the son of fashion designer John-Charles de Castelbajac and is 11 years Dita's junior.

Here's a scan of The Count modeling for a 2007 VOGUE magazine ad.

It's not the best scan, but at least Louis-Marie looks like a good match for Dita decked out in this classic style.

In other DVT news, she's set to appear in Germany's 2009 Eurovision song contest in May, singing "Miss Kiss Kiss Bang."

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Would You Pay $13,000 For Her Virginity?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:49:00 GMT

Alina Percea is and eighteen-year-old student from Romania now residing in Germany. Recently, she put herself up for auction with a Buy It Now sort-of price of $75,000. That didn't go so well-- Percea ended up settling with an anonymous Italian man for the equivalent of about $13,000 US.

She says she's giving away her virginity in order to help stabalize her family's financial situation. Our question is-- would you, even if you were dirt poor, sell your virginity for so little? Or would you go for even lower? And guys, would you pay $13K for her time?

Percea's case is interesting because the recent virginity auctions, such as that of Natalie Dylan's, involved at least six or seven figures in American dollars. Perhaps Percea should've called the New York Post before the sale ended, as now she's getting the kind of publicity that would've bumped up the bids:

The auction was hit by controversy three weeks ago when a teacher at Alina's former school claimed she was not a virgin.
But Alina, who had already undergone a medical examination, was seen by a second doctor, who confirmed at a press conference she'd never had sex.
'I'm glad it's all over and I'm excited that soon I'll be meeting the winner,' she said. 'I'm not too nervous, because I know I'm doing the right thing for my family.' She admitted: 'Ten thousand euros is not so much money, even in Romania. But it will be enough. 'I hoped I'd be able to have an apartment in town. But now I will live with my parents while I go to university. I hope to find a good job with the police, so I can support my sister and brother through college too.' [Daily Mail]

She wants to find a job in law enforcement?! A rather interesting choice, one must admit, for one who sold herself over the internet...

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German Pop Star Arrested for Spreading a Little HIV With Her Message

Emily Farris — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 18:51:00 GMT

A member of one of the most famous girl bands in Germany has been arrested on suspicion that she knowingly spread HIV to at least one man.

Nadja Benaissa (pictured second from the left), a member of the band No Angels, is accused of sleeping with at least three men, sans condom, full-well knowing she was HIV positive. At least one of those three men has tested positive for HIV, supposedly as a result of sleeping with Benajssa over a period of a few weeks in 2004.

Benajssa was arrested at a nightclub on Saturday night where she was set to give a solo concert and is now being held in a one-person cell in a women's prison.

Under German law, knowingly infecting another person with HIV qualifies as "grievous bodily harm" and can result in six months to ten years in prison. However, if Benaissa can prove she did not know she was HIV positive, the infection will not be considered a crime.

The organization German AIDS Help believes that the way in which her status was made public was unacceptable. "This case fits fantastically into the tabloid and media landscape," said Jörg Litinschuh, spokesman for DAH. "It centres on a famous woman, sexuality and possible guilt. It's a form of modern witch-hunting and I hope it's not an indication that the politics of dealing with HIV and Aids is becoming more restrictive."

Yes, but remember kids: no matter what that boy or girl says (and no matter how famous he or she is), you need to see those STD test results before the condom comes off.

[Guardian: German singer in jail after ex-lover claims she infected him with HIV]

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[Image]

Germany's Biggest Sex Scandal Comes To A Stunning Conclusion

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 15:33:00 GMT

Back in November, we alerted you to the story of Susanna Klatten, Germany's richest women, a billionaire and heir to a BMW fortune tainted by Nazism, who was embroiled in a then-breaking story of blackmail, sex tapes, extramarital affairs, and millions of euros in cash.

This week, the trial of her one-time lover, a creep by the name of Helg Sgarbi, a Swiss businessman who apparently specializes in these types of crimes. As the court date approached, new and shocking information came to light that reopened old wounds throughout the country and the world...

In 2007, Sgarbi seduced Klatten at an Austrian spa and later at a Munich hotel. It was the hotel owner himself who filmed the hidden-camera sex tape, according to our report:

...Klatten's alleged lover and a friend of his, a hotel owner who filmed sexual trysts in his establishment. The duo hoped to received 40 million euros, but had to settle for 7.5 million from Klatten. Klatten, who helped foil her own kidnapping at the age of 16, was already talking to the cops.

Klatten may have hoped that, in going to the police, her husband would not learn of the plot, affair, and the lost 7.5 million. Too late-- there was a leak and soon the scandal made international headlines. Then there was this, according to Gawker:

What motivated Sgarbi? Reportedly, his real name was Helg Russak, and he was the descendant of forced laborers who worked in BMW factories during World War II — which made his choice of Geiss even odder.

Klatten's grandfather, Günther Quandt, served as an advisor to Hitler; his factories made batteries for Germany's submarines. His first wife, Magda, divorced him and married Joseph Goebbels, Hitler's propaganda minister. The Quandt family, which had denied involvement in the regime for decades, agreed to fund an investigation into their past after a documentary film presented incontrovertible evidence of BMW's complicity. [Gawker]

We almost started to feel sympathy for the girl... but that was before we learned that he was also guilty of extorting money from three other wealthy women, none of whom are yet rumored to have any Nazi ties...

Yesterday, on the first day of his trial, Helg confessed to all the charges and was sentenced to a mere six years in prison for sparing Germany a lengthy and embarrassing case. The public, mouths frothing, were left saying, "Wha happen?" and actually expressed great disappointment the thing didn't drag out for months...

Related:

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While You Were Sleeping: Sex Tape Blackmail

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Woman's Husband & Stepfather Arrested For Blackmailing Her w/Sex Tape

This Quack Says Intellectuals Are Dumb Daters

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 19:50:00 GMT

Dr. Alex Benzer, who, despite our headline and his photographic resemblance to Adnan Ghalib*, is a respected, Harvard-educated doctor and probably knows more about dating than most of us. After all, he's actually dated a few people... and some kook thought, in this increasingly anti-book culture, to put out a couple of books by him-- for profit! If that's not endorsement enough of his ideas and you'll seek dating advice from some other genius, we're pretty sure Dr. Phil is still on the air, weekdays...

Benzer claims his recent book The Tao of Dating was specifically written for the most brilliant minds of our time, i.e. anyone regularly visits sites like Nerve and the Huffington Post, where his post appeared. In an epic story there, Doc Benzer heads a series of paragraphs with his bite-sized advice tidbits:

1. Smart people spent more time on achievements than on relationships when growing up.

Well, you could also say, "Dumb jocks spent more time on athletic achievements than on relationships when growing up." Anyway, moving on...

2. Smart people feel that they're entitled to love because of their achievements.

See "jocks" above.

3. You don't feel like a fully-realized sexual being, and therefore don't act like one.

4. You're exceptionally talented at getting in the way of your own romantic success.

That seems like a stretch for the sake of reinforcing a weak argument...

5. By virtue (or vice) of being smart, you eliminate most of the planet's inhabitants as a dating prospect

The intellectuals we know are just as terrible at recognizing terrible mates in advance of involving themselves with those prospects as the, um, non-intellectuals we know...

Benzer says you have three choices:

A) Loosen up

B) Do a very thorough search all over the planet and be prepared to move to Duesseldorf OR

C) Join a monastery.

...before recommending choice A for surviving dating in these dumbed-down times. What do you think of his proposals, which you can read in complete here.

*Dudes, we gotta stop this chin-landing-strip thing. Now.

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Nazi Coffee Bad For Business

Scanner Matt — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 20:10:00 GMT

The coffee company, Tchibo, and gas station chain, Esso, have discontinued a joint advertising campaign in Germany. "Tchibo never meant to hurt anyone's feelings," company spokeswoman Angelika Scholz said, claiming Tchibo and Esso were unaware of their new campaign slogan's old significance.

The campaign slogan was, "Jedem den Seinen" which means, "to each his own" or "to each what he deserves". Guess who also liked this expression? That's right. Nazis. The almost exact expression, "Jedem das Seine" hung at the entrance to the Buchenwald concentration camp, where 56,000 people died.

The signs, which appeared at German gas stations advertising coffee (not gas, that would be unbearably awful), were removed yesterday.

Reuters reports:

Salomon Korn, the vice president of the Central Council of Jews in Germany told the Frankfurter Rundschau newspaper that the campaign reflected either "unsurpassed tastelessness" or "total historical ignorance".

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Dita Von Teese in German Playboy - the Sequel

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 19:12:00 GMT

Last week, we leaked what turned out to be a cropped photo from Dita Von Teese's stunning fourth photo shoot for Playboy, this time for the German edition.

We set out to right that wrong with the following pics...

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The 15 Most Promiscuous Countries

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 15:18:00 GMT

USA! USA! USA!

Not this time... and that's a welcome change. After all, aren't you beyond bored with the perennial sex surveys that trash our Puritan nation's filthy, condom-buying pervs? Not this time: suck it, Australia, Germany, and the rest!

But not literally, of course, since we're prudes compared to you guys...

Here are the Top 15, according to research published in this week's New Scientist by a professor at Bradley University:

1. United Kingdom

2. Germany

3. Netherlands

4. Czech Republic

5. Australia

6. USA

7. France

8. Turkey

9. Mexico

10. Canada

11. Italy

12. Poland

13. Spain

14. Greece

15. Portugal

The survey queried 14,000 people in 48 countries on their life's worth of sex partners and one night stands, plus a respondent's general attitude toward casual sex and getting it on in general. Particularly interesting is this excerpt from a story about this story in the Times:

The high scores in many Baltic and eastern European states might be linked, Schmitt said, to the fact that women outnumber men and so are under more pressure to conform to what men want in order to find a mate. In Asian countries, by contrast, men tend to outnumber women slightly, so it is men who have to conform.

That doesn't sound very scientific to us, but we'll take it...

Dad Nobly Defends Son Against Rape Charges... Oh, Wait...

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Scanner Highs and Lows: In Which We Travel to the Future, And We Like It

Emily Farris — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 22:41:00 GMT

A cure for AIDS? A black president? Pregnant men? The ability to put our own faces inside of our vaginas? Welcome to the future, baby.

Highs:

Did German doctors discover a cure for HIV? Or was it AIDS?

Speaking of the future, it is now possible to have our own face inside our own vagina.

The pregnant man is pregnant again... yay?

Scanner Brian and his cronies pulled a prank on New York.

Men, you can keep it up longer with a little help from a spray... as long as you don't mind the fact that you won't be able to feel your penis.

But post-menopausal women can now feel everything thanks to a new gel.

Didn't you know we like it from behind?

Lows:

We got in a fight with some Mormons over Proposition 8.... over Facebook.

We decided we're leaving New York.

Is this our future?

Either way, it's a damn good thing we wear cheap underwear.

Poor Lindsay Lohan is still confused about her sexuality.

Feet. Gross.

We debated the attractiveness of certain celebrities.

Oh, and we lost the Obama interview to 60 Minutes.

Cure For AIDS Discovered? Or Is It HIV?

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:25:00 GMT

As Scanner Emily reported earlier, hemotologists in Berlin claim that a bone marrow transplant has cured an American patient of theirs of the AIDS virus. Or is it HIV? These things can be so confusing to the media, which hasn't given a shit about this issue since The Ryan White Story...

An American man who suffered from AIDS appears to have been cured of the disease 20 months after receiving a targeted bone marrow transplant normally used to fight leukemia, his doctors said.
While researchers — and the doctors themselves — caution that the case might be no more than a fluke, others say it may inspire a greater interest in gene therapy to fight the disease that claims 2 million lives each year. The virus has infected 33 million people worldwide.

Dr. Gero Huetter said Wedneday his 42-year-old patient, an American living in Berlin who was not identified, had been infected with the AIDS virus for more than a decade. But 20 months after undergoing a transplant of genetically selected bone marrow, he no longer shows signs of carrying the virus. [Yahoo! Health]

That's according to the AP. But the BBC has a different story, the one Emily reported on:

The researchers in Berlin said the man, who suffered from leukaemia and HIV, had shown no sign of either disease since the transplant two years ago.
But they stressed it was an unusual case which needed further investigation.
Experts said the result may boost interest in gene therapy for HIV.
Berlin's Charite clinic said the 42-year-old patient was an American living in Berlin, but the man has not been identified.

Either way, we're trying to stay positive (hey, at least it cured one person, whether or not anyone else is ever cured) although, yes, it could be a fluke... or a glitch in their readings... or poor research. Or some other answer that would automatically discount their findings.

But we're hoping that the 42-year-old patient goes on to live a long life... and that millions of other people are able to as well. What do you think?

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While You Were Sleeping...

Today in The Future: Can Bone Marrow "Cure" HIV?

Emily Farris — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:42:00 GMT

Doctors in Germany, who treated a man for leukemia with a bone marrow transplant, say the treatment had a very, very unexpected side effect.

Though it's supposedly an unusual case that obviously needs further investigation, the man, who also carried the HIV virus was, miraculously, cured of it.

From what we know about viruses, they can't really be cured—they can only leave your body—apparently the donor of the bone marrow, who had a genetic resistance to the virus, passed along the resistance in his bone marrow, thus curing the man of his HIV.

[BBC: Bone marrow 'cures HIV patient']

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Germany's Richest Woman Blackmailed With Own Sex Tape

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:34:00 GMT

You're the country's richest woman. You fear home invasion, kidnapping, extortion, and those pesky poor people with their hands out.

What you probably don't do is worry about getting blackmailed over your own sex tape. Unless, of course, you're this woman...

German police have been working on a case involving Susanne Klatten, Germany's 46-year-old female billionaire, and have arrested two men: Klatten's alleged lover and a friend of his, a hotel owner who filmed sexual trysts in his establishment. The duo hoped to received 40 million euros, but had to settle for 7.5 million from Klatten. Klatten, who helped foil her own kidnapping at the age of 16, was already talking to the cops.

Klatten, who holds a large stake in automaker BMW and Altana speciality chemical company, allegedly paid 7.5 million euros to a Swiss Helg Sgarbi to stop him from publishing compromising photos and videos of the couple's relationship, the German tabloid Bild am Sonntag reported.

The 41-year-old suspect was taken into custody by German authorities some weeks ago, Schmidt-Sommerfeld said.

The heiress to the Quandt family fortune and mother of three children "filed a complaint for fraud and blackmail in January 2008 with a Munich court," he added. Klatten has a personal fortune of 7.8 billion euros, according to German's Manager Magazine.

7.8 billion euros? That's like 40 trillion American or six Michael Bloombergs, right?

Seriously, we think we know why Klatten was embarrassed about this sex tape going public: she's "happily" married. Our guess is that she paid the hush money more so her husband wouldn't find out about the affair than any other public humiliation it could cause. The fact that she went to the police may only mean that she still hoped the media wouldn't find out about the whole incident.

Nice try.

Via Euro News.

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Big Brother Has Boobs and Our Attention

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 20:03:00 GMT

We have never seen an episode of Big Brother. We just kind of let that whole thing pass us by. We read the gossip sites and realize that Big Brother cast members are sometimes in the news, but honestly we don't really understand what the show is about and we suspect it's whinier and more annoying that most reality TV, which, as you know, is whiny and annoy by definition.

But in our neglect we didn't realize there were boobs on Big Brother. We kind of understood that there were Big Brothers in other countries, but didn't think that less stringent censorship guidelines would equal boobs.

Oh, shame, shame on us because there are totally boobs on Big Brother.

Just imagine magine our total confusion and shock upon finding this video of Jasmin from German Big Brother taking a bath. With no top. And very little water, actually. Nope not a lot of anything besides Jasmin very lovely German "big brothers."

Is this what happens on the show?? We had no idea. Apparently Showtime 2 has some sort of Big Brother After Dark program where we can only assume people take baths and show their gentles. Who knew??

What Not to Do in a German Hotel: €7,000 of Phone Sex

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 17:01:00 GMT

If you're gonna get up to making extremely expensive phone sex calls, probably best not to do it from a hotel where you're staying--you gotta make those calls from grandma's house.

This German man did not get the message.

The 22-year-old man has a history of staying in hotels and calling sex phone lines day and night, but being unable to pay the bills, a police spokesman said.

A hotel worker called the police after the man, who had taken amphetamines and cannabis, admitted he could not pay the €7,197 phone bill, nor the costs of his six-night stay.

€7,197 of phone sex in six nights! We'd give money just to find out what they were talking about the whole time. Hopefully she wasn't giving him financial advice.

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Bullet-Proof Bras: The Latest In German Police Protection

Ina Maier — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 20:04:00 GMT

The Germans will do anything to protect the bosoms of their countrywomen - and who can blame 'em?

Wondering what exactly is so "bullet-proof" about these bras? Well, nothing. In fact, they look like your average sports bra, aside from the oh-so-stern "Polizei!" (exclamation ours) printed along the bottom. So, why the bullet-proof? Well, apparently normal bras have proven hazardous when worn with a bullet-proof vest: "The impact of the bullet can push metal and plastic bits into the officer's body, causing serious injury."

Each officer will get to pick three bras from a variety of designs, sizes, and styles.

Maybe they can wear them to combat the Poles?

[via BBC]

Germans And Poles Are At It Again...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Germans and Poles are going to war

Holy Christ! Have we learned nothing from World War - The Sequel? Is Germany going to blitzkrieg the ass off of Poland, particularly the asses of the above two females?

over a nudist beach on the Polish-German border on the Baltic Sea beach, reports British The Sun tabloid.

Oh. Phew. We thought it was, you know, something else...

Germans nudists have been fuming over the fact that since a fence on the two nations' border was removed in 2007, following Poland’s accession to the Schengen borderless zone, Polish bathers stroll into German territory near the Polish town of Swinoujscie, north-western Poland, encroaching on the privacy of naked German sunbathers.

"You feel like an ape in the zoo. The Poles come with their binoculars, stare and swear at us,” one German naturist told The Sun.

The best part of this story is that the rest of this Polish news article features snide remarks about Poles from Germans. Are they trying to start a border war... or, better yet, World War - The Threequel?

“It’s horrible, we would never bathe naked, we are Catholic,” said a Polish beachgoer

That may be the funniest thing I've ever heard. Let's hope this mindless drama continues and that everyone fights to a stalemate, then collapses in an exhausted lovefest...

Via Polskie Radio.

Related:

German Monk Gets Caught Stockpiling Porn

Bryan Christian — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 12:00:00 GMT

How great is this story? You got Germans, monks, homesexuals, scantily clad women... Add a guy in a gorilla suit and you basically got the best Benny Hill sketch ever.

BERLIN (AFP) - A Benedictine monk has been caught with around 230 pornographic films in his room in a monastery in western Germany, the local Abendzeitung newspaper reported on Thursday.
The discovery was made after the monk was caught trying to steal four gay pornography DVDs from a sex shop in the Bavarian city of Wuerzburg in southern Germany, the paper said.

Here's what we love: they let a monk in a sex shop. To what? Do competitive research?