Scanner : food porn

The Latest Sexist Fad: Coleslaw Wrestling

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:07:00 GMT

Every year since 2003, the Cabbage Patch Bar in Daytona Beach, Florida has been hosting an event called Coleslaw Wrestling, which is the same as Jello Wrestling, only way more disgusting.

The event, a mainstay of the well-attended Biketober Fest and Bikeweek celebrations, draws hundreds of dudes in American flag bandanas, sleeveless leather jackets, and faded jean shorts... in other words, Real Americans...

One website claims some of the (always female) wrestlers perform topless, we found almost zero evidence of this. However, we only went through a tiny portion of the thousands of photographs taken of the event in the last five years.

We'll have the 2009 photos sometime after this weekend's Bikefest, which starts today. Until then, remember: Budweiser bathing suits are awesome... coleslaw wrestling? Not so much.

Via Cabbage Patch Bar.

Related:

Let's Settle This Ridiculous First-Date Pay Debate Once And For All

Who Organized The Arkansas Gay Wrestling Match?

Brazilian Carnival Outdoing Itself Almost Daily With Risque Nudity

Beer Pong Video Game Falls By Way Of Lenny Bruce, Poop Paintings, Janet Jackson's Nipples

Giada De Laurentiis: Still Not Doing Food Porn

Emily Farris — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 15:17:00 GMT

[Image]

Food We'd Like To F*ck: Ever Wonder Why You're Fat?

Ina Maier — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 22:34:00 GMT

Today is a special "Pop Quiz!" edition of Food We'd Like F*ck:

1) Do you ever wonder why you're fat?

2) Do you love food?

2a) Do you love food that is deep-fried / smothered in cheese / of an abnormally large portion size?

3) Does the phrase "Food Porn" mean anything to you?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, keep reading...

Scanner would like to take this moment to introduce you to your newest source of Food Porn...

This Is Why You're Fat: Where Dreams Become Heart Attacks

A food blog of the lowest common denominator, This Is Why You're Fat pulls together a daily offering of all that fattiest concoctions your beleaguered heart could ever desire, including (but not limited to)...

The (previously covered) Double Bacon Hamburger Fatty Melt

The French Fry-Encased Hot Dog On A Stick

And (our personal favorite): The Bacon-Sprinkled Donut

Check it out. Your arteries won't be disappointed.

[All food photos via; Top photo via]

Food We'd Like to F*ck: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Topped Cupcakes

Today in Food We'd Like to F*ck: The Hamburger Fatty Melt

Food We'd Like to F*ck: Meat and Mashed Potato Cupcakes

This Porno Parsnip Has a Wee Peen

Emily Farris — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 21:33:00 GMT

It may be small, but aren't you just the slightest bit impressed that it even has a peen? You know you want to see it...

Unfortunately for that parsnip, he has nothing on this carrot.

[Gothamist: NSFW: Porno Parsnip!]

Related:

Would You Put This Anthropomorphic Carrot in Your Mouth?

KFC Employees Found Finger Lickin' Clean in the Kitchen

Scanner Survey: Sexy Food

Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Food

Scanner Emily's Savory Sweet Potato Recipe

What's It Like Having Strangers Eat Off Your Naked Body?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:10:00 GMT

Melanie Berliet, a former Wall Street stock trader, wrote a piece for this month's Vanity Fair about her one-off role as a naked sushi model.

Strangely, she doesn't worry about rank fish, groping hands, or ending up in some bizarre Requiem For A Dream party scene outtake; rather, her worry has to do with a part of her body most men never notice. (Hint: ladies, men don't care about your shoes.)

From Melanie's own mouth, following her experience on the New York naked sushi circuit:

I glanced at my feet and saw that I needed a pedicure. Badly. People were about to be eating off me and I hadn’t done them the courtesy of getting my toes done.

With a series of frenzied hand motions, she directed me to strip, tape the shells to my nipples, then secure the thong to my sides and butt. There was no time to be bashful, and I quickly grasped that my body was not my own for the next few hours. It was a commodity I’d loaned to Koko. I wondered if this was how strippers feel. Detached. Robotic. At work.

Yep. That's pretty much how strippers feel... except you forgot the occasional bonus feeling: "sticky."

The next moments proved to be intensely erotic, oddly enough, as Koko flittted daintily around the table, decorating me with scarves, bright pink flowers, and the fans that would serve as trays for the sushi, sashimi, and shumai. Never before had I felt like a piece of art.
As the men got drunker, their timidity vanished. Chopsticks flashed above me as they navigated the buffet, taking their dinner from my curves and crevices. Through it all, Koko sped gracefully in and out of the room to replace the small trays of fish.

For an hour and a half I laid there, while the men surrounding me drank and ate and stared, and sometimes poked at my bare body.

90 minutes? To eat sushi? Man, these guys are really lame... at least they gave her $150 in tips so, as she puts it, she can get the extra therapy she will most certainly need...

Read her full story here. Image and story via Vanity Fair.

Related:

10-Year-Old Boy Is the Lone Protester of Nude Sunbathing

Who Would You Rather? Rachelle Leah vs. Stacey Dash Playboy...

Thing #7,859 Not To F*ck: A Metal Rod

Kanye West's Naked Party Might Have Been About a New Album...

Groupie Shocked To Find Out Pop Music Douche Used Her For Her Body

Giada De Laurentiis: "I'm Not Doing Porn"

Emily Farris — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:06:00 GMT

What exactly does the Food Network's Giada De Laurentiis bring to the table? Whatever it is, it's not sex, according to the foodie.

While she can't describe exactly what it is (except that it's not sex, remember), it's something that other TV chefs just can't do.

“Porn? I’m not doing porn! What the hell are people talking about? [It’s not] PBS-style cooking. I mean, I love Lidia [Bastianich], but [she’s] kind of boring. And Mario Batali [I] love to death…but he’s not romantic or sensual. Those are the things I bring to the table.”

Batali is more our type than De Laurentiis, but after watching this clip, we're definitely not thinking about pizza:

[PageSix via Grub Street]

Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Food

Today in Food Porn: The Bacon Bra

Food We'd Like to F*ck: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Topped Cupcakes

Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali Are Costars in Randomness

Food We'd Like to F*ck: Meat and Mashed Potato Cupcakes

Food We'd Like to F*ck: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Topped Cupcakes

Emily Farris — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 14:01:00 GMT

Hello, lover! We mean, hello cupcakes we'd like to bend over a table and ~~fuck~~ eat.

What is it about raw cookie dough that's so amazing? And is it possible for one to subsit on it alone? No, what about with cake?

If you'd like to try these at home, and send them to us, the recipe, via Not Eating Out in New York, is after the jump.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough-Topped Cupcakes
(makes 6 cupcakes)

for the basic vanilla cupcakes:
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 large egg
3/4 all-purpose flour
a little less than 1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/3 cup milk
pinch of salt

for the cookie dough:
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup unsalted butter, softened
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
1 tablespoon sugar
1/3 of a beaten egg (save the rest for next morning)
1/4 teaspoon vanilla
pinch of salt
1/2 cup or so semi-sweet chocolate chips or chunks

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a mixing bowl, beat together the butter, sugar and vanilla for the cupcakes only. Add egg and beat until fully blended and creamy. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt in a separate bowl. Gradually add flour mixture to butter mixture, alternately adding the milk gradually. Divide equally among six cupcake liners in a muffin tray. Bake about 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a cupcake comes out clean. Let cool completely.

Meanwhile, make the cookie dough: Beat together the butter, sugars and vanilla. Add the egg and beat until creamy. Gradually add the flour and salt, and once fully blended and smooth, add the chocolate chips. Cover and chill in the refrigerator at least 15 minutes. Divide dough into 6 equally-sized balls and press with your palms into discs resembling chocolate chip cookies. Press on top of the cooled cupcakes.

Cost Calculator
(for 6 cupcakes)

1 1/4 cups flour: $0.35
1/2 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar: $0.25
1/4 cup brown sugar: $0.20
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter: $1.00
1 1/3 egg: $0.33
1/3 cup milk: $0.20
3/4 teaspoon vanilla: $0.20
1/2 cup chocolate chips: $1.25
<1 teaspoon baking powder, pinches of salt: $0.10

Total: $3.88

We're worth $3.88 plus shipping and handling, right?

[Not Eating Out in New York: Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough-Topped Cupcakes]

Related:

Food We'd Like to F*ck: Meat and Mashed Potato Cupcakes

Today in Food Porn: Better Than Sex Dessert Shop

Food We Want To Lick: Candidate Lollipops

Kate Beckinsale Would Much Rather F*ck Than Cook

Today in Disorders We'll Never Suffer From: Orthorexia

Swedish Boarding School Initiates Sex Games For New Students

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 17:22:00 GMT

Have we mentioned how much we love Sweden? First, many of its young ladies enjoy having sex with one another. It's also in Europe, somewhere, so that's helpful.

Seriously, this new story from Sweden, which involves boarding school students, sex games, bananas, and chocolate make take the, um, cake...

It seems that for the new autumn semester of Riksbasket Gymnasiet, a boarding school for students who are more focused on basketball than school books, the new students got a welcoming party they hadn't bargained for.

“In one game boys had their upper bodies covered in chocolate and the girls had to lick it off,” said Ewa Lundström, principle for sports high schools in Luleå, to Sveriges Radio.
“In another game the girls were lying on the floor with a banana in their mouth while the boys did pushups on top of them and ate the bananas,” said Lundström.

Of course, school officials are ruining all the fun by launching a full investigation into the serious, serious matter. Students, meanwhile, are probably realizing that they need to tighten the ranks to the most trustworthy friends, who aren't likely to snitch, and then at least try to get more creative about their initiation methods.

We recommend ice cubes on a hot day, a la Do The Right Thing.

Via The Local.

Swedish Prostitutes Complain: "We Wanna Pay Taxes, Too!"

Scanner Highs And Lows: Sweden Or Sexism?

16 Year Old Boy Figures Out How To Rip Off Sex Offenders, Get Rich

Skinny Dip Sandwich Free To All Plungers

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 18:42:00 GMT

Three hungry people are in trouble with John Q. Law after taking a nude dive for a free "Skinny Dip Sandwich" outside the Greenville, Maine's Black Frog Restaurant...

Our first thoughts: They should probably call it the Jerk Chicken or the Pulled Pork Sandwich and include a Matzoh Ball soup...

Last weekend, three amigos in their 20s and 30s, two males and a female, in fact, entered the Black Frog and asked proprietor Leigh Turner if they could have the free Skinny Dip Sandwich. Turner told them, "Sure, just let me check with the 40 or 50 diners..."

Remarkably, they all said yes...

Of course, that never stopped party poopers like the Greenville Police, led by crusading Chief Scott MacMaster[bater!], who is making sure the trio get a court date next month. He said a lone family that just happened to be standing right right there

was offended and contacted police.

Whiners. They remind us of the one woman in Michigan or someplace who represented most of the complaints that led to all of Howard Stern's million-dollar fines. Hey Puritans-- suck on this NSFW!

...NSFW penises ahead!

Via WMTV.

Related:

Secrets of Synchronized Swimming

Here's A Promotional Idea: Park A Hot Tub Full Of Naked Women In Your Storefront Window

Teenagers Can't Even Go Swimming Without Facebook Anymore

While You Were Sleeping: All The Harry Potter Kids Are Getting Naked

Michael Phelps Dresses... Up?

Who Would You Rather: Naked Olympic Swimmers Edition

When The Folks Are Away, New Hampshire Teens Party Naked

Who Would You Rather: Keeley Hazell or Sara Boberg?

If Your Date Orders Caviar, Almond-Covered Truffles, And Ginger Beer... Now You Know Why

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 19:58:00 GMT

Aphrodisiacs have always been the Viagra of the romantics, which is probably why so many people waste their time trying them out when none of them actually work. (Of course, although neither one is truly 100% effective, at least one of them can be very tasty.)

Nonetheless, when the iVillage blog Sex On My Desk wrote about them a while back, we decided we'd see if we could find other aphrodisiacs that worked... while, um, not actually getting around to trying any of them ourselves...

Here's what Sex on My Desk talked about:

1) Caviar. Ennh-- no.

2) Truffles. Why, yes, Room Service... you wouldn't happen to have any... truffles... would you? Oh no, there's no one in the room with me...

3) Oysters. Any excuse to eat oysters, particularly if it's Tuesday's All-You-Can-Eat Oyster night on the Lower East Side of Manhattan...

4) Espresso. This one has to be psychological-- you do a jolt of this stuff, you'll have some get up and go! It just makes sense that you'd be able to convince yourself you're in the mood.

5) Garlic. Um, we don't think any significant other has particularly enjoyed sex with us after we've eaten an everything bagel.

6) Chocolate. Actually, this one has been hotly debated for years. Emphasis on hotly, since we've had close friends admit it worked.

7) Bananas. Well, depending on whether you're in the mood for a blow job, this one only works when you watch someone eat it...

They forgot strawberries (well, chocolate covered ones work) andgrapes-- which Jack the Ripper may have used to either a) lure pros into his carriage or b) to turn them on... or both. Also, when we were in San Juan, Puerto Rico back in the day, we ate at Ostra Cosa on our birthday because it was supposed to give its patrons incredible sex... via its dishes. Unfortunately, their logic is that the spicier their food, the more sex you have... when, in fact, their scale of 'Oh!'' to ''Wow!!'' to ''Ay Ay Ay!!!'' was actually a reference to your exclamations on your first, second, and third trips to the bathroom.

What else? Can anyone seriously claim aphrodisiacs, especially specific ones, have worked for them?

Via Sex on My Desk.

Related:

Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Food

Today in Food Porn: The Bacon Bra

Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali Are Costars in Randomness

It's Official: Denny's Designs Food For Drunks, By Drunks

Whoever Stole the Rhino Horns: We Need Them Back, M'kay?

Scanner Survey: Sexy Food

Top 5 Sex Scenes Involving Food

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 16:43:00 GMT

We're too busy fantasizing about sex with food to pull ourselves away from these five hot sex scenes in order to have lunch...

5. Tom Jones - a scene that actually makes gluttony hot

4. Last Tango in Paris - butta, baby, you're butta... barely not a rape scene, but no list about sex and food, especially if it involves the movies, is complete without this, one of the most notorious moments in film.

Backdoor Behavior With Butter!

3. Hot Shots! - in some ways, this is superior to our #1 choice, which is parodied here

2. Flashdance - hot: Jennifer Beals sitting absolutely still and doing absolutely nothing; mind-blowingly hot: Jennifer Beals sucking on a lobster tail while playing footsie with her date

1. 9 1/2 Weeks

See you next week for another Top 5... suggestions are always welcome...

Related:

Top 5 Kate Winslet Sex Scenes

Spank Me/It: The Nastiest Sex Scenes Ever

Top 10 Places To Have Sex... This Week

Swedish Teen Girls Like To Have Sex With Each Other

Mary-Louise Parker Breaks Toe, Films First Nude Sex Scene For Weeds

Food We'd Like to F*ck: Meat and Mashed Potato Cupcakes

Emily Farris — Fri, 30 May 2008 17:02:00 GMT

Anyone who has paid any attention to Scanner for the past few months knows that I, Scanner Emily, am a fan of meat. Between two buns, on a stick, or from a cart on the street, I love meat. So it should come as no surprise that these savory cupcakes are super appealing to me.

You think I'm kidding with the whole food-we'd-like-to-fucking thing? Think again. Because if I had a penis, I'd probably stick it in these and then find a way to lick it off, because seriously? Triple meat cupcakes? Ground veal, ground chuck and ground pork. And what makes the red icing? Why it's beet juice.

While I would have replaced the green pepper sprinkles with chives or green onions, these cupcakes are pure genius.

So not only do I want to fuck this food, I want to be BFF with the girl who created it.

[FineFuriousLife via Jezebel]

The Incredible, Edible Anus is Way Too Popular for Its Own Good

Emily Farris — Tue, 20 May 2008 21:02:00 GMT

Is this the opposite of food porn?

We're assuming that the online shop for Bisus Chocolates is closed due to demand being greater than supply, because who wouldn't want to eat chocolates in the shape of an asshole?

These chocolates are created with one thing on our mind: to produce a combination of taste and touch that takes you to chocolate anus heaven.

Yum! But for those rather preserve their assholes, may we present the limited-edition silver-plated asshole?

55 grams of hallmarked silver, cradled in a magnificent presentation box and exquisitely crafted into that most sensuous of body parts: a unique, elegant and thought-provoking gift. Edition of 100 (edition # engraved)

People come and people go. Our solid silver anus is immune from the daily wear and tear that similar products experience. A quality product immortalised in silver…for the man who has everything.

Don't believe us? Go to edibleanus.com and find out for yourself.

[Edible Anus via YBNBY]

Today in Food Porn: Better Than Sex Dessert Shop

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 20 May 2008 20:30:00 GMT

For our interview today with Dani Johnson, owner of Key West's Better Than Sex dessert shop, which opens tonight, we got into the missionary position and sniffed out some amazingly mouth-watering deserts:

Q. Pump-In Pie - Missionary Crisp - Pop My Cherry Cheesecake - Tenderness Tort - Jungle Fever - Naked Nut - Cheese Voyuer (a reference to "The Joy of Sex"), and the Better Than Sex Cake... which came first, the name of the restaurant or the titles of the dishes?

A. The name came before the titles. I have a passion for baking, which was passed down from my mother. My husband [co-owner Len Johnson, local radio host] and I have been married for six years, together for 12, and he often would request that I make something sweet. At a Valentine's Party two, three years ago, I had a lot of friends come up to me after eating the desserts, saying, 'You should do this for a business.'

Q. When did the theme, the sex theme of the dishes, come along?

A. I don't know. But you know, the name: a lot of our friends and non-friends were concerned with our name choice... you know what? It's built-in marketing, built-in advertising. But people are shy-- it makes them giggle, they're not all going to be comfortable with it, so it's a challenge. The idea is, when you call your place 'Better Than Sex,' people will keep coming back until they find a dessert that lives up to our title.

Q. Besides the desserts, is anything else sex-themed?

The restaurant is completely decorated in an eclectic/romantic theme. We're not going for the trashier side of sex, we're going for the sexier, more romantic side. It's all mismatched glassware and plates, for one thing. My husband is a radio DJ and personality-- Sexista, that's his title; I'm the Master Baker. We'll also have a small retail market and we'll have our name embroidered on t-shirts...

Q. Are you going to have theme nights or something?

Oh yes. One theme night is gonna be: if you come in a robe and slippers on Hugh Hefner Night, you get 20% off.

Q. When do you open tonight?

Six o'clock. "Sex at Six" is what we're calling it.

Would You Put This Anthropomorphic Carrot in Your Mouth?

Emily Farris — Wed, 07 May 2008 17:03:00 GMT

It even has a hairy butt crack. But if this is the back, just imagine what the front looks like.

[Letters from the End of Consumer via BoingBoing]

Today in Disorders We'll Never Suffer From: Orthorexia

Emily Farris — Mon, 05 May 2008 12:58:00 GMT

There were times in our youth when we wished we could be anorexic or bullimic (stupid, we know, but if you were ever a chubby, insecure teenage girl you, too, may have wished these disorders upon yourself) but we always ended up reaching for the Cool Ranch Doritos. In recent years, eating disorder specialists have termed a new disorder that we're a little less guilty about wishing we had: orthorexia, an unhealthy fixation with healthy eating.

While we certainly try to eat healthy most of the time, it's really only so we feel like we're balancing out our two-hamburger-a-week minimum, so this is yet another disorder we're in no danger of developing. But the chubby, insecure teenager inside of us still almost wishes we could have orthorexia—luckily, the adult whose social life revolves around food does not.

Like anorexia, it often involves severe weight loss, but so-called orthorexics are obsessed with food quality, rather than quantity, and strive for personal purity in their eating habits rather than for a thin physique.

The word orthorexia was coined in 1997 by Colorado alternative medicine specialist Steven Bratman. Implicit in the description are traits that resemble obsessive-compulsive disorder, since sufferers devote excessive attention to their own strict rules and often spend hours each day worrying about tomorrow's meals. Such a person may find himself socially isolated because he doesn't indulge in everyday dishes. "If your focus on healthy eating is interfering with your happiness and social life," says Bratman, "you might have a problem."

What's the disorder called when your happiness is dependent on your hamburger intake?

[Psychology Today: Orthorexia: Too Healthy?]

[Image of a Shake Shack burger via theeatenpath's flickr. Mmm, Shake Shack.]

Exclusive: Photos of the Gay Jesus Last Supper Orgy Exhibit

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 14:35:00 GMT

"Our country can do without scribblers and agitators like Hrdlicka." So says a guestbook entry at Vienna, Austria's Dommuseum, parked next to a church and owned by the city's archdiocese. The uproar?

Alfred Hrdlicka, is celebrating his 80th birthday this year with a retrospective of his art at the Dommuseum, although various Catholics and censors are outraged that Jesus is depicted in one drawing as having some sort of crudely-rendered orgy after a wine-soaked Last Supper. And here we were thinking that it was usually a Gladiator battle and grapes on a vine that kickstarted a good old-timey sexfest....

(The offending images are including below; they are unavailable elsewhere due to the museum having taken down the most objectionable drawing.)

There are other drawings, including one of Jesus getting groped while nailed to the cross, all included in the following video.

Hrdlicka defended himself by saying that there were no women in Leonardo's rendering of the Last Supper, so he just had to depict men doing the pleasuring of other men. That's about as convincing as the following statement on how taking the picture down is not censorship:

The museum took down the Last Supper piece at Cardinal Schoenborn's request just over a week after the 'Religion, Flesh and Power' exhibition opened, leaving a blank black wall at the entrance to the display.

"This has nothing to do with censorship, rather corresponds with the understood "reverence for the sacred," the Cardinal's spokesman said in a statement.

Via the AP.

China's Amazing Penis Restaurant

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:00:00 GMT

How did we miss this when writing about the Cabbages & Condoms restaurant on Wednesday?

Our expose on the Top 10 Weirdest Restaurants inexplicably and unknowingly left one classic Asian haute cuisine establishment out of the running: Guo-li-zhuang, courtesy of our kooky friends in China. Maybe the list's authors were unable to stomach-- no pun intended-- a restaurant where diners snack on chewy weiners of the non-hot dog variety.

The Times of London has a great and entirely uncomfortable story about some poor bastards who deigned to eat at this vile place. Among the highlights so you don't have to click that link:

The chef "enters holding aloft an eye-wateringly large yak’s knob. It’s about 45cm long, but thin, so thin. It’s been boiled gently and - I can’t believe I’m writing this - peeled, except for a hunk of foreskin still clinging on to the end. He cuts the thing in half lengthways with a pair of scissors."
The meal, which can run you up to 250 British pounds for a fancy dingaling, "costs an average of two months’ wages for a dumpling-factory worker." Not that even the craziest working-class Chinese person would be caught dead in this place. It's reserved mainly for dignitaries and dumb newspaper reporters with money to burn.
"We try the water-buffalo penis first, in thin shavings. It started long and thin..." Uhhh....
They try the "deer-penis juice, which I’m delighted to say is the vilest concoction I’ve ever had the privilege to imbibe."

They eat bull, goat, and-- you stereotyping bastards saw it coming-- dog penis. They somehow lived to tell the tale under their real names. And both the diner and his companion speculate on whether this could work for, um, female genitals.

“Don’t be insane,” she says. Then she remembers that she’s heard of a dish of donkey vulva, but she’s not sure where. She thinks it’s a disgusting idea.

Barf more here.

Photo: View Images / Jam'd

Today in Food Porn: The Bacon Bra

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:45:00 GMT

Although food is often pornographic, porn is rarely edible.

Photos of the infamous bacon bra are circulating on the net, but they originated on Brian Kusler's Flickr page. The below photo comes with the below introduction from one lucky birthday dude:

"I don't really know how the idea came up... at some point after too many tequilas and my friend talking about how to get more men interested in her, someone said, "wait, men love bacon and boobs, why not combine the two? that's a million dollar idea right there!"

This is so hot it could make Lindsay Lohan look desirable.

The most mouth-watering part of all this hubbub is the following comment, posted on the same Flickr page:

we totally deep fried the bacon and ate it later :)

What's that sound that Homer makes when his mouth is having a food-related orgasm? "Ahwhwahhhauhhhh."

Photo of Bacon & Boobs: Brian Kusler