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What Are All Those Unemployed Bloggers Up To These Days?

Emily Farris — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:03:00 GMT

This morning we woke to an email from Drew Grant, formerly of Jossip.com. We say formerly, not because she (who we totally thought was a he) quit, or got fired, but because Jossip, like its sister site MollyGood before it, is on, uh, hiatus.

But not to worry. Drew has a new gig over at ASSME.org—not to be confused with the NSFW assme.com—where she's blogging with the likes of Gawker casualties and other unemployed "media elites." So, what does ASSME stand for? And why are we writing about it?

ASSME is The American Society of Shitcanned Media Elites. A pretty appropriate name for a place where internet famous people go after being "let go" for one reason or another. ASSME.org is edited by Sheila McClear, who back in the fall was surprise laid off by Gawker.

So why are we writing about them? You don't think we're naive enough to believe that we couldn't be laid off at any moment, do you?

Another site to check out, The Awl, launched today by former Gawkers Choire Sicha and Alex Balk.

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From the Archives: 10 Reasons the Recession Will Rock Your Love Life

Hey, At Least the Sex Industry Is Still Hiring

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Sloppy Seconds: Female-Friendly Porn

Emily Farris — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 23:17:00 GMT

Fifteen employees have been fired from the Kaiser Permanente hospital where Crazy Baby Lady Nadya Suleman gave birth to octuplets after they snooped through her medical records. What a way to go. We probably would have done the same thing. [Us]

Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, one of "The Real Housewives of New York," has separated from hubby Count Alexandre de Lesseps. But she's keeping her title! [Yahoo!]

Here's your chance to win a free copy of a young-adult novel with the best title ever: "My Parents Are Sex Maniacs." [Annick Press]

Jennifer Hudson's three dogs will be a part of her wedding to David Otunga. [People]

The ladies at MarieClaire have rounded up what they consider to be the most female-friendly porn sites. We, of course, have been doing a lot of bookmarking today. [MarieClaire]

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Sloppy Seconds: The Pope Spreads a Little AIDS With His Gospel

Emily Farris — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:38:00 GMT

Fifty-seven-year-old Ralph Reese was fired from his job as a clerk at Whole Foods after he took a tuna sandwich out of a trash can at the end of his shift, this violated the company's policy that food cannot be takine without being paid for. [CityRoom]

"Not an Onion headline: Gwyneth Paltrow's Bikini Waxer to Pen Book About 'Being Sexy'" [LustyLady]

Taylor Swift still does not want to talk about sex. [People]

What kind of douchebag puts fake money in a stripper's underwear? This kind. [AP]

At a SXSWi panel today, a blogger for PETA asked the icanhazcheeseburger guy how he could make the PETA blog funny. Pamela Anderson's lettuce bikini is a good start, no? [Inquisitr]

Pope Benedict “What Holocaust?” XVI is at it again, this time claiming that condoms are not the answer to the AIDS crisis in Africa. The pontiff, speaking to journalists on his flight, said the condition was "a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problems". Whaaaaaat? [Guardian]

[Image via PETA]

Cop Fired For Drinking With Teens, Tasering Them For Laughs

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 18:05:00 GMT

You'd think after all the horror stories about death-by-cop and death-by-tasering-by-cop, that a) a cop would be hesitant to use it on an innocent fifteen-year-old boy and b) the fifteen-year-old boy wouldn't have verbally requested a tasering... for fun...

But that's exactly what happened at one party consisting of more than a dozen underage drinkers and one police officer... an off-duty police officer... who was also drinking.

The video capture above is more than you need to know, but the facts are these, in case you care:

Officer Dan Nesmith has now been fired from the force. He admitted to the party after his own taser was used as evidence against him. It turns out every police taser has a computer chip in it and that told Eustis' police chief when it was fired.
It's absolutely shocking that a police officer would host a house party with kids as young as 15 and 16 drinking, but it is jaw-dropping to watch a cop who's been drinking offer to use a taser on a 15-year-old boy in the middle of the big birthday bash.

Do we need to mention this took place in a small town in Florida? Nope, didn't think so.

By the way, check out this hilarious picture caption:

It was one of the kid's goals-- life goals-- to receive a tasering? Dude, Officer Nesmith, tase him again...

Via WFTV.

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You Know Your Wedding Was A Blast When You Were Both Tasered... Twice

Sloppy Seconds: It's a Cold, Black Friday

Emily Farris — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 20:55:00 GMT

Last night's vice-presidential debate was the highest rated, televised VP debate ever. [Yahoo!]

Even Hillary Clinton had some nice things to say about Palin's performance. [Faded Youth]

And we kind-of hate Sam Ronson a little right now. [People]

“Nailin’ Paylin” is a “naughty adventure to the wild side of that sexy Alaska governor,” featuring “girl-on-girl lovin’,” “nailing the Russians, who come knocking on her back-door,” and a younger Palin getting seduced by her creationist college professor who “will explain a ‘big bang’ theory even she can’t deny!” [The Frisky]

Things are just as exciting, but less fun at Gawker Media where 19 people are about to lose their jobs. [Gawker]

Just in time for the bailout to be approved by Bush. [NYT]

An “expressionless” seven-year-old boy broke into a zoo, bludgeoned to death giant lizards and fed them – and other live animals - to a crocodile named Terry in Outback Australia this week. What the hell is going on in the world!? [MollyGood]

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Pervy Ex-Teacher In Ohio Gets Off... With Probation

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:46:00 GMT

Not her real photo.

An Ohio teacher was hot for student, sending him topless photos and hounding him via MySpace until his friends spoiled the fantasy...

On Monday, former middle school teacher Lisa Temsey was sentenced to five years' probation and is banned from working among children. If she violates that probation, her judge warned, Temsey would face 11 months away from even the sight of teenage boys.

Here's what Temsey did to deserve such treatment:

Temsey was teaching gifted students at East Canton Middle School last May when she was corresponding with a student via her MySpace page, said Katie Chawla, assistant Stark County prosecutor.

The boy, 14, was a former student who had moved out of state.

The discussion "changed from professional to a personal one, and she sent him a naked picture of her breasts," Chawla said.

The exchange came to light when she started talking to two of the boy's friends, Chawla said.

She probably annoyed the shit out of them, too, and was subsequently reported just so she could be gotten rid of. Maybe. Or maybe they just thought she wasn't that hittable*. (Seriously-- you're a fourteen-year-old boy: if a hot teacher hits on you, you try and keep it quiet, maybe; if a teacher you don't like or is not attractive hits on you, well. Let's just say that we've been in a somewhat similar situation at relatively the same age as the male victim here and the same thought went through our heads: "Well, if she was hot, we wouldn't mind. As is, I think I'm just going to block her IMs.")

As far as we can tell, this is a real photo of her, via her now-closed Facebook page:

Of course, it might be some other Lisa Temsey...

Via Canton Rep.

*Disclaimer: We're kidding. Sexual harassment is wrong. Unless you're James Franco or Kerry Washington.

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Move Over Lazy Young People, Persephone Lewin's Day Puts Yours To Shame

Principal Fired For Convincing Student To Run Away With Him (Oh, And He's Charged With Rape, Too)

Female Teacher's Aide Guilty of Sex with 16-Year-Old Female Student

News Anchor Fired After His Swingers Craigslist Ad Cracks Up The Office

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:59:00 GMT

A well-known Las Vegas TV personality was summarily fired Monday after multiple Craigslist ads surfaced showing the dude in the buff, seeking a guy or a girl for he and his girlfriend to go to town on.

But it wasn't the fact that Jeff Gradney had put up a personal (sex) ad that had people so upset... rather, the ad's photographic content saw to that...

While the offending ad has apparently been removed, we found a nearly identical one on the same Craigslist page, this time seeking women instead of men for a menage a trois:

We are a hot, intensely passionate couple looking for a hot woman to play with. You must be comfortable with yourself, playing with a man and a woman, and being watched by the woman while you use his cock! We'd LOVE to make YOU CUM OVER AND OVER!!! If you like having your feet played with that's a definite PLUS! We don't have a specific type so please send pics... and one of feet would be nice! We will respond within 24 hours, can't wait to hear from you!

Here are the photos that got Gradney canned:

It's the bottom right photo, allegedly of Gradney sticking it to the (wo)man, that upset everybody at the local ABC affiliate:

Gradney, who joined the ABC affiliate three years ago, was dismissed Monday, after a disgruntled employee sent management and staffers a Craigslist ad, a source said, that appeared to show the reporter having sex with his girlfriend. The ad read: "hot, intensely passionate couple looking for a cool guy to play with." [Review Journal]

It should be pointed out that we discovered the Craig's List ad without anyone's prompting and that it may not necessarily be the couple, although a photo (which has also been removed) from the ABC website, purportedly of Gradney, seems to match the shirtless gym shot from the above images.

By the way, doesn't this all seem a little silly? So what if the guy put up a teeny, tiny pic of himself, even if he is having sex in the photo? Because he's a news reporter, it's an automatic "no no"? And who's this person who narc'd on him?

See the ad here... until they take it down.

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Sex Blogger Fired From Lesser Sex Blog

Principal Fired For Convincing Student To Run Away With Him (Oh, And He's Charged With Rape, Too)

Sloppy Seconds: Pink and Racer Hubby Split, Farting, Panda Porn, Frog From Hell and Drew Barrymore's Wise Words

Emily Farris — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 22:02:00 GMT

Pink and her motocross racer husband Carey Hart have separated. They've been married for two years and always seemed so happy.

A woman in the UK was fired for farting too much in the office, then lost her discrimination claim. We're really, really glad we work from home.

Panda porn just doesn't do it for panda bears.

Scientists in Madagascar believe they have found fossils of the "frog from hell," a really fucking big frog. Pretty creepy stuff.

Drew Barrymore offers advice to young Hollywood stars facing rehab in the upcoming Vogue.

Gawker Fires Tionna "Tee" Smalls

Emily Farris — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 17:51:00 GMT

Sad news today for the Internets: Nick Denton, publisher and interim managing editor of Gawker has fired Tionna "Tee" Smalls in the wake of just about his entire editorial staff finally leaving this week. Tionna was known for her amazing rack, for Gawker making her famous, and for her to-the-point, sometimes grammatically mangled advice:

I don't know what it is about people these days but they just don't know the code. My thing is this, if you are going to cheat on me, at least have the respect to not let me find out. I mean, is that too much to ask for? Damn.

We wish you the best, Tionna. And we'll be looking for "Crossfire: Tionna Tee Smalls vs. Julia Allison" to premiere after iVillage any day now.

[Gawker: On the Internet, nobody goes quietly]