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Sloppy Seconds: Crazy Baby Lady Holds Out, Won't Put Out

Emily Farris — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 23:01:00 GMT

A 15-year-old student in Florida has been suspended from school for three days because he farted on the bus. [Inquisitr]

Oh, Jesus. Some dude wants to make babies with "angel princess" Paris Hilton. [FadedYouth]

We were sort-of excited (okay, really excited) about "Lesbian Vampire Killers" until we read this: "The lesbian vampire queen, who is in fact the only one of the vampires who seems to genuinely be a lesbian rather than just a generally lusty vampire, can only be killed with the sword. It's a subtle moment, so let's rephrase: The lesbian curse is only lifted when the lesbian is penetrated by the cock sword." [Vulture]

Isaiah Washinton, who was fired from the cast of Grey's Anatomy in 2007 for making a gay slur at co-star T.R. Knight (who had not yet come out of the closet) is facing eviction from his Venice home. [Us]

Contrary to earlier reports, Katy Perry and Josh Groban are not dating. People everywhere continue to not care. [People]

Crazy Baby Lady Nadya Suleman still has not accepted any offers to do porn or any offers to do reality shows featuring Vivid girls. (P.S. Thems not enuf diapers.) [The Frisky]

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Breastfeeding

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Today in WTF: Seductive Farting

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 21:29:00 GMT

We've just been through one of the greatest days in our nation's history, a bold about-face from our racist past. We would feel this way regardless of whether Barack Obama or Condoleezza Rice had taken the oath of office.

But that wakeup call isn't going to make us act any less immature in these pages...

Fleshbot, thankfully, isn't wasting any time with deep brooding and philsophical blog musings. Nope, they headed straight back into gratuitous nipple shots and utter pornographic silliness. Apparently, there are fetishes for everything, even farting. Therefore, the unwritten law states, there must be... fart porn.

Luckily, most of us will laugh and not be entirely grossed out while experiencing this bizarre video, which YouTube has been too busy with other problems, such as HBO copyright claims, to take down for vulgarity:

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:08:00 GMT

Shots were fired at the motorcades of the Presidents of Georgia and Poland, although no one was hit.

A drag queen hosted a Miss Texas pageant, to the obvious horror of parents.

A boy in Florida was arrested for something heinous. No, we mean the reason he was arrested was heinous. Oh, never mind, you'll see:

Maybe the 13-year-old student at Martin County's Spectrum Junior/Senior High thought he was being funny by repeatedly and purposely passing gas during computer class.
His teacher, D.C. Carden, didn't bust a gut over the boy's breaking wind - not to mention his continuous turning off classroom computers - so he gave the boy a referral and sent him packing to the school resource officer for a little talk. "He subsequently informed me it was factual, and I informed him as a result of his behavior he was being charged with Disruption of a School Function,"

The boy was arrested for farting. He was released to his mom. No word on what he did in the car on the way home. [Blogs.Tampabay.com]

A teacher denied an inappropriate relationship with a young girl... until the girl was found in his closet. Whoops.

Hate crime is on the rise in Utah, down everywhere else.

A town near Barcelona is using solar panels atop gravestones to power itself.

They finally caught the Butt Bandit we warned you about.

11 Things He Wants From You, according to a male writer at MSN.

Boris Becker was dumped by text message. The woman in question was his fiancee.

And Madonna wants Britney Spears to move into her place... as some sort of ploy to get her back into Kabbalah... or something.

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While You Were Sleeping: Clay Aiken Shocker

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 13:27:00 GMT

The other night, an NBC affiliate in Los Angeles interrupted Conan to run a story about a John McCain speech.

Speaking of the McCain campaign, turns out they lied in a press release over the weekend saying campaign manager/lobbyist Rick Davis was no longer connected to Freddie Mac and hadn't been for several years. Turns out he was receiving $15,000 a month from them up until their recent collapse.

Clay Aiken finally came out of the closet:

Following the Aug. 8 birth of his son Parker, singer Clay Aiken is following through on a promise he made to himself as a new dad: to publicly acknowledge that he's gay.

"It was the first decision I made as a father," Aiken, 29, tells the upcoming issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday. "I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn't raised that way, and I'm not going to raise a child to do that."

Lindsay Lohan confirmed that she's in a long-term relationship with Samantha Ronson. She also, it seems to us, says "shit" live on air.

Don't cry for Dennis Quaid-- Meg Ryan wasn't the only one unfaithful in that relationship.

This video should provide your morning jolt. And no, we don't know who dealt it:

Via With Leather

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Sloppy Seconds: Pink and Racer Hubby Split, Farting, Panda Porn, Frog From Hell and Drew Barrymore's Wise Words

Emily Farris — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 22:02:00 GMT

Pink and her motocross racer husband Carey Hart have separated. They've been married for two years and always seemed so happy.

A woman in the UK was fired for farting too much in the office, then lost her discrimination claim. We're really, really glad we work from home.

Panda porn just doesn't do it for panda bears.

Scientists in Madagascar believe they have found fossils of the "frog from hell," a really fucking big frog. Pretty creepy stuff.

Drew Barrymore offers advice to young Hollywood stars facing rehab in the upcoming Vogue.