Scanner : fake breasts

Sloppy Seconds: Free Boobs!

Emily Farris — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:36:00 GMT

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has a penchant for pretty women (what politician doesn't?). And it's a source of "suffering" for his wife, Veronica Lario, she wrote in an open letter. [Yahoo!]

Simon Cowell joked that he's "secretly in love" with fellow American Idol judge Paula Abdul. And we wouldn't be all that surprised if he jerked off to the "Cold Hearted Snake" video back in the day... or if he still does. [Us]

After her double mastectomy, breast cancer survivor Christina Applegate says she still feels sexy, especially because her boyfriend, Dutch bass player Martyn Lenoble loves her "from head to toe." [People]

Is there no more bromance in the world? Chace Crawford is apparently looking to move out of the pad he shares with Gossip Girl co-star Ed Westwick. [PageSix]

Everyone can stop worrying about Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. They're taking the necessary precautions to prevent catching swine flu (the swine flu?) while on their honeymoon in Mexico. Whew. We know we'll sleep better tonight knowing they're okay. [MTV]

Did California pageant officials buy homophobic Miss California, Carrie Prejean, new breasts? And if so, how do we get some? [Defamer]

Sloppy Seconds: Snipped Here, Screwed There

PapSmeared: Brooke Hogan Spends Daddy's Money on More Stuff She Doesn't Need

Emily Farris — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 16:21:00 GMT

[Image]

Porn Star Lunch Lady Scares Parents

Scanner Matt — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 21:44:00 GMT

Louisa C. Tuck, formerly known as Crystal Gunns, has incensed a number of sanctimonious parents who are demanding she be fired from her current job as their elementary school’s part-time cafeteria worker and playground monitor due to her porn star past.

The Daily Journal reports that parents insist Tuck/Gunns be ousted from their Vineland, New Jersey elementary school after learning of her former career, but lawyers on both sides of the issue say there are no legal grounds to give her the pink slip due to the fact that she hasn't done anything illegal.

Tuck says she’s only making $5,772 a year and claims she quit the industry five years ago when she was twenty-seven. We are sure some of these self-righteous parents would rather not talk about the things they did in their twenties, so why not leave the poor woman alone and end the witch hunt?

We assume this may inspire an onslaught of humor-intended pun-ridden porn flick titles (Sloppy Second Joes?) or give new meaning to Adam Sandler’s goofy adolescent 90's anthem, “Lunch Lady Land.”

::Sigh:: we miss Chris Farley.

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