Scanner : documentaries

While You Were Sleeping: The Revenge of Levi Johnston

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 14:02:00 GMT

The IMF says we'll have to stick it out one more year before an economic recovery.

Japanese boy bands are all growing up and getting naked and drunk and arrested.

The third Twilight film will be directed by a man. Man, woman, Werner Herzog-- no matter what gender is at the helm, it's still going to blow.

Mel Gibson's alleged mistress is keeping a sex diary comparing all the different men she's slept with.

Rick Ross claims rapper 50 Cent is finished. Woo hoo! Can we finish off the rest of these no-talent top 40 artists along with him?

Levi Johnston has gone from being the #1 puppet in the Palin VP campaign to the biggest threat to her 2012 chances.

The new American family: Dad robs people, Mom drives the getaway minivan, and the kids play inside the car.

This sounds like one kickass documentary.

"Dog" the Bounty Hunter was nearly killed in Colorado after a suspect shot at him during an attempted arrest.

And Lindsay Lohan is dating dudes again-- this time, Brits are on her hit list.

How Much is an Orgasm Worth to You?

Emily Farris — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 19:33:00 GMT

We appreciate that the world at large would like us women to have better orgasms. But we have to wonder how much of that concern is really just pharmaceutical companies trying to make a profit off of what they would like us to believe is a sexual dysfunction. Do we really need to buy an Orgasmatron? And have laser surgeries? And test out vibrators in exam rooms? In her new documentary, Orgasm Inc., filmmaker Liz Canner explores the billion-dollar industry that revolves around the female orgasm. Though the movie doesn't premiere until next month, we have the not-incredibly-safe-for-work trailer after the jump.

Related:

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The One Way You Never Thought You'd Have An Orgasm

The Best of the April Fool's Day Sex News

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 21:11:00 GMT

This year's April Fool's Day definitely topped 2008 for sheer ridiculous fake sex news.

Here are a few of our favorites, not including the Gmail Autopilot helper that Colleen and I both linked to earlier...

The best part is, that British MPs story is definitely true.

MSNBC ran a story that we immediately called bullshit on, but on reflection, it turns out it's probably at least partly factual:

Dr. Wang jokes with the new parents a bit and then says, "I understand you may want to have a circumcision for your baby."
Larry and Joy don't answer immediately. At last Larry says, "Well ... we don't know."

Dr. Wang smiles. He's familiar with the befuddled expression on Larry's face.

Circumcision, of course, is the surgical removal of the penile foreskin from the glans — the fleshy crown of the penis. It is one of the most commonly performed procedures in American hospitals, and except for abortion, it may be the most controversial. The procedure has long been known to reduce the spread of a few rare, serious diseases, and to prevent a few annoying, uncomfortable ones. But in 1999, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) determined that the risk of surgical complications, though small, nearly canceled out the benefits...

A Google search for a Dr. Wang at Massachusetts General turns up several ancient article hits, so he's probably real. But that doesn't mean a story about a "Dr. Wang" and his penis obsession doesn't ring false on a day like today...

By far the best goof of the day and without a doubt the most interesting story we've come across in ages is actually a true story (we think) of the life of Alan Abel, a semi-unknown prankster, as reported in Esquire. In addition to being the first person ever to have his obituary retracted by the New York Times, he is known for incredible stunts like staging a mass-fainting epidemic in the audience of a live Phil Donahue Show taping and starting both the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, which kickstarted a popular (though fake) movement to put pants on farm animals and pets, and most famous of all, Citizens Against Breastfeeding.

But we remember these from the interview:

ESQ: In 1994, you went on The Jenny Jones Show with an actress playing your wife, and she said she had glued your penis to your butt while you were sleeping. Was Jenny Jones in on that?

AA: Oh no, not at all. At first, she was furious, and then they got this great exposé in the Washington Post and they were so pleased. The show was repeated over and over. The same thing happened when HBO did a documentary on male genitalia called Private Dicks Exposed. They had an 800 number and they said in the ad, "If you're interested in talking about your private parts, call," so I did. I figured all these guys were going to call in to brag about their size. So I said I was the smallest in the world. One inch, erect. And they said: "You're on the show!"

ESQ: Didn't they ever ask to see your goods?

AA: They did, when they were interviewing me for the documentary. The director said, "Everyone's taken their clothes off except you, Bruce." There were about twenty-five people on the crew, including some very attractive ladies, and I said, "Only if we can have group sex after the wrap." They said no. So I didn't have to take off my shorts.

As we said, this is a must-read.

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While You Were Sleeping: Miley Cyrus Dies in A Freak Car Accident

Sloppy Seconds: Joaquin Phoenix Fights His Audience

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 21:20:00 GMT

Clive Owen doesn't really enjoy sex with Julia Roberts. Honestly, we don't blame him.

Don't listen to that stupid conservative's argument that James Carville is just as bad as Rush Limbaugh.

Helen Hunt may be engaged. Remember that show Mad About You? Ah... you youngin's.

Church sex is the best sex. Just sayin'.

Twin doctors-- is there anything creepier (if you've seen that Jeremy Irons movie, that is)? This guy and his twin were involving in molesting young boys in their offices.

Isn't it time Joaquin Phoenix admitted his stupid Casey Affleck documentary is a mockumentary? His diving into the audience to fight someone in Miami at 2am this morning is the dumbest celebrity story since the last one we ran about Paris Hilton, whatever that was.

We reported on this sex scandal at a Jersey high school, but the Rolling Stone story (via the Times Online) is essential reading.

Anne Heche gave birth to a boy with another lover we won't be able to remember.

Related:

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While You Were Sleeping: Westboro Stoops To New Low...

Some Kind of Monstrous Documentary

Colleen Kane — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:18:00 GMT

Feministing introduced us today to the trailer for the documentary -- or should we say CROCKumentary AH HA HA HA-- The Monstrous Regiment of Women, subtitle: "Extolling Feminity, Blasting Feminism." Naturally, it is most entertaining.

* Did you know, for example, that a woman who used to be in the abortion industry could go into a school and increase the pregnancy rate by 50%? That her goal as a member of this abortion industry was to get teenagers to have 3-5 abortions by age 18?

* Did you further know that a woman wanting to pursue a career is equivalent to Marxism and Socialism? And that Hillary Clinton, only having one child so she could maintain a career, means she has "absolutely no sympathy for the homemaker"?

From the equally entertaining website:

"Starting with the infamous 16th century essay written by the reformer John Knox against the reigning female monarch, the Gunn Brothers find plenty of application to America’s political landscape; where feminists vie for every possible office including the presidency."

Even the presidency? Why can't they stick to pregnancy? Somebody stop them!

Here's that trailer.

Hilarious! Thanks, Gunn Brothers, whoever you are.

By the way, that phrase of this great week, "wrong side of history"? Yeahhhh.

Get Your Lesbian Feminism On

Those Who Can, Do; Those Who Can't, Teach Porn Techniques...

Image: Bunns Brothers

And The Nominees Are... and Should've Been...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:51:00 GMT

At the crack of dawn this morning, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced its usually confounding, bizarre, idiotic, and trite little list of Oscar nominees.

This year, we have to say we agree with most-- and we use that word with great hesitation-- of their choices...

Best Actor: This is pretty much the only perfect set of nominees in the whole show. Jenkins, Pitt, Rourke, Penn, and Langella were the five best leading male performances of the year. Congratulations to the Academy-- they finally got something right.

Best Actress: Inarguably the biggest snub of the year in any category, the omission of Sally Hawkins' unforgettable, Golden Globe-winning performance in Happy Go Lucky is almost reason enough to boycott the boring-ass show right here. At least indie actress Melissa Leo was rewarded, but still...

Best Supporting Actor and Best Supporting Actress: Pretty solid here-- Michael Shannon, Heath Ledger, Viola Davis, and Penelope Cruz are all award-worthy and are nominated.

Documentary Feature: The biggest surprise of all-- the Academy actually rewarded a micro-budget classic that hasn't had any publicity of any kind (Trouble the Water), plus Werner Herzog's Encounters At the End of the World, one of the year's best films in any category, and the endlessly popular Man on Wire.

Foreign Film: Waltz With Bashir and, surprisingly enough, The Class are both represented, but it baffles us why the Academy would overlook the year's third-best film overall, The Secret of the Grain, an absolutely riveting account of one family's attempt to open its own business. It's devastating and uplifting at the same time-- what could be more Oscar worthy?

Best Picture: Now we come to the tricky part. While we're relieved to see Milk represented here, seeing as its the year's best film, we're more than worried that this is going to be Benjamin Button's year. We'd be satisfied if a predictable, ridiculous, and still incredibly entertaining film like Slumdog Millionaire wins, but God forbid the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, the Forrest Gump wannabe with its endless running time, pointless storyline, trivial anecdotal plotting, and racial stereotypes we thought Hollywood had gotten over in the 1930s wins a majority of the 13 categories its nominated in. (We could go on for hours longer about this Brad Pitt film, but the real problem is the fact that it's so widely praised; if it had been a bomb, we might even get behind it, for at least it was mildly amusing at times.) And don't even get us started on The Reader...

You can read the rest of the nominations here.

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Golden Globes Best Dressed: How J-Lo's Ass Finally Won Us Over

Sloppy Seconds: Psychology Teachers Getting In On The Student Sex Craze

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 20:17:00 GMT

Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for smacking a woman who insulted her future ex-husband.

The Biggy Smalls biopic Notorious is causing theater owners to freak out. There have been reports of shootings and then this near-riot and outdoor fight has police scrambling for backup.

This may be the coolest thing ever created with Legos...

Obama fever has officially hit Legoland. The Carlsbad, CA, park has modified its U.S. Capitol model to illustrate the historic Presidential Inauguration of Barack Obama. The display opens to the public tomorrow, Jan. 16, and will stay on through Memorial Day. Photos by Christopher Victorio. [SF Weekly]

The latest school sex scandal? Seems a psychologist in Idaho was pissed teachers are getting all the underage ass.

Grandpa... became Grandma.

Previously: people using the inaugural to rent out their apartments on Craig's List for astronomical amounts of money. Now: people using the inaugural to troll Craig's List for random sex. One poster wants you and another lady to join him in his hotel jacuzzi-- don't miss out.

UPS delivers, baby.

A London man is all set to marry his fiancee... unfortunately, she died in a car accident. (No, really, this is a beautiful story.)

And word on the street has it that the documentary on Lil' Wayne is the surprise hit of this year's Sundance Festival. Click here to find out why.

Related:

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While You Were Sleeping: Sarah Palin Is A Big, Whiny Phony

Teacher Takes In A 13-Year-Old Boy-- You Know What Happens Next...

Who Would You Rather: Hot For Teacher Tournament

14-Year-Old Girl Sold Into Marital And Sexual Slavery For $16 Grand

Scanner Giveaway: Signed Elton John DVDs!

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:52:00 GMT

We're dead serious. The man who played piano while wearing those giant sunglasses. The guy who told Lilly Allen he could snort her under the table. One of the baddest mofos of all time, or at least 1973, Elton John, has agreed to autograph copies of his new DVD documentary "Tantrums and Tiaras," which features behind-the-scenes craziness and excesses not seen since the Rolling Stones were still allowed within our borders.

Like we said-- despite all this kidding around-- we're serious. We're going to give you autographed Elton John DVDs... all you have to do is...

...answer these trivia questions. If you're resourceful, you should be able to Google the ones you don't know right off:

1. What Elton John "Greatest Hit" does not appear on the original record but appears on later CD pressings? This tracklisting for the vinyl version should give you a hint.

2. What three songs did John Lennon play with Elton when the duo played Madison Square Garden show in November, 1974?

3. What song contains the line "Stop twinkling your star like you do?" And you better get this one, as this is our favorite song of his.

4. The Elton John AIDS foundation just had its annual benefit, raising more than 2 million dollars. Who hosted that event?

5. Who did Elton marry in February of 2006?

And, if there are ties, the tiebreaker: Who did he marry in 1983?

We are expecting to receive two signed Elton John DVDs, so there should be two lucky winners out there. The movie was released on VHS in 1997 and is being released this week, finally, in the States on DVD:

The long-awaited U.S. DVD debut of Elton John: Tantrums and Tiaras (Echo Bridge Home Entertainment) has arrived today, with the 1997 documentary finally getting a domestic video release. With John's longtime companion David Furnish in the director's chair, we get a much more warts-and-all look at the music superstar than another filmmaker might have been allowed to capture. While you'll come away from the movie admiring Sir Elton's work ethic, you'll also marvel at his bratty entitlement.
Whether or not you're a fan of the Rocket Man's music, the gossipy frankness of this movie makes it impossible to look away.

Good luck! We think it might be best to e-mail us at scanner@nerve.com rather than posting your answers in the comments...

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Controversial "Courting Condi" Cancelled By Cronies

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:54:00 GMT

The 2008 election year may have ended, but Bush & Co. aren't splayed out on the front steps of 1600 Pennsylvania, waiting for the Obamas to roll in.

Condoleezza Rice, for one, hasn't resorted to phoning it in. She shows up for work every day in classy Saks, brushes the Katrina victims aside, and strides through the front gate to the White House, where her boss, her hero, awaits with a non-alcoholic beer and a bag of pretzels. Together, they are Nixon and Kissinger, circa 1974, with the fireplace ablaze and the rocks in a glass of whiskey clattering back and forth, hashing out their escape plan.

Part of that plan is to ensure their legacy and making sure, for starters, that any revealing documentary films are dead in the water before they're even released...

We're not sure we buy the filmmakers claim that Karl Rove asked the Discovery Company to rescind its promise to fund the film or that the State Department had their hotel rooms bugged, but it may be true friends of or even Condoleezza Rice herself asked that Stanford University cancel an advance screening of "Courting Condi," a documentary following an actor-musician's quest to at least go on a date with Madame Secretary.

The Stanford Film Society (SFS) today cancelled a screening of a controversial documentary about Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and a debate on whether Stanford University should welcome her back to its faculty when she leaves office in 2009.

The film’s director, Sebastian Doggart stated: “This has all the hallmarks of Rice’s cronies scaring the Stanford Film Society into pulling the screening.”

The movie, Courting Condi, is a documentary about Condoleezza Rice, charting her life and career from her birth in Alabama, through her time as Provost at Stanford, to her tenure as Secretary of State. Contributors include close friends of Rice, her top biographers Marcus Mabry and Glenn Kessler, and senior Republican politicians such as Brent Scowcroft and Lawrence Wilkerson... [it] is due for general release in February 2009.

We'd like to add that the film also co-stars Adrian Grenier and Steve Earle's music, plus its lead by the kid (now grown) who played Macaulay Culkin's demented brother in Home Alone.

The SFS at first offered no explanation for the cancelation; after some prying, the President claimed a Professor had asked to use the space and his agenda took priority. But the SFS added that they didn't think the post-screening debate would be balanced and that that fear factored in their decision. Doggart chalks all this up to a, well, not-so-vast right-wing conspiracy:

“Our documentary has seen these tactics of obstruction and intimidation before,” Doggart states. “Eighteen months ago, Discovery committed to financing $600,000 for the movie. One week before shooting, they pulled out. We subsequently learned that Karl Rove found out about the deal and advised the CEO of Discovery it would be bad for their ‘good relations with government’ to proceed. Discovery pulled out the next day, leading to legal wrangling and a final settlement of a $150,000 ‘kill loan’ from Discovery, and forcing us to make the film on a shoestring.”
Doggart continues: “The obstructive measures got worse. Her supporters did all they could to stop us securing archive materials of Rice’s time at both Denver University and Stanford. And then her agents raided our inn when we were filming in Washington DC.”

Here's the film's trailer. Tell me-- is this a documentary or more likely a mockumentary?

Via Courting Condi.

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New Documentary Looks At Life As An Intersex Adult

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 18:23:00 GMT

An intersex is a person born with ambiguous genitals-- male and female parts-- who cannot be classified by the traditional two-gender system. (Click here to learn why the term hermaphrodite is incorrect.)

A new documentary, being put together by Maxx Ginnane, explores lives of intersex adults, including this person, who believes that her parents made the wrong decision in choosing her gender...

We are not the types to think just outlawing something will usually solve the problem-- but what if a person had to be 18 and give consent to such an operation? Would that solve the problem here?

You can read more about the film (we believe it-- or at least this clip-- is entitled "80% Girl, 20% Boy") at Queers United. Here's a note they posted from Ginnane:

"I am now making a full length film about intersex, including the stories of what is happening to the babies born visibly intersex and gender variant children as they grow up and approach puberty. There's currently still a debate in the medical community about how these young people should be treated. I'm seeking the input of doctors, parents, and of course, other intersex people in this project. If you would like to get in touch, my address is palya@hotmail.com"

More about intersex here.

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Scanner Giveaway: "Matrimony"

Emily Farris — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:33:00 GMT

It's that time of the year again: the time when we start giving you stuff. Actually, we'd probably do it all year long if we had lots of good stuff to share, but we can only give away so many bottles of Astroglide before we all start to get bored. Now, if you'll allow us, we'd like to exercise your mind. We're giving away two copies of Joshua Henkin's "Matrimony," a novel about—what else?—relationships and marriage, which was a 2007 New York Times Notable Book and has recently come out in paperback.

Two of you will win signed copies. We will go buy one... especially after our mom tried to convince us last night that we shouldn't strive for a monogamous relationship—ever—because it just doesn't work.

Click through to find out how ridiculously easy it will be to win your signed copy of "Matrimony" and watch the book's VidLit trailer.

Send an email to scanner@nerve.com with the subject line "Matrimony Giveaway." We'll randomly pick two winners by this time next week, and then books will be in the mail, words will be in your head and our closet will remain full of Astroglide.

[Joshua Henkin]

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Coming to You Direct From the "Perfect Woman" Factory

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 16:47:00 GMT

Before there were Real Dolls there were mannequins. Shit, there still are mannequins.

Turns out mannequin factories are spooky places and mannequin designers are weird dudes. The video below brings you the men behind these "perfect women." The guy wearing the chains reminds us a lot of our Uncle Marvin out in Miami except he sold custom windows, not dress dummies.

Can't you just imagine these guys after all the workers have gone home turning down the lights, lighting a candle and dancing the night away with their arms around a mannequin?

Today in WTF: Childbirth Orgasm Video

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 20:18:00 GMT

"Orgasmic birth. It will change the way you feel about childbirth... and yourself... forever."

Yes, but if we found out our Moms had done this, we might end up just a wee bit traumatized to find out. Although we should add that we're not against it or anything and we're certainly not going to stop anyone from climaxing for any reason, at any time. [Whoops! Typo fixed-- for some reason this went up before it was finished, incomplete thoughts, sentences, and missing words and all. Sorry about that! No offense intended! Snark intended, though.]

Is this trailer for a supposed documentary yuck... or yum? In any case, this video creeps us the hell out. It reminds us way too much of something produced by the Church of Scientology, know what we mean? Not the act of it-- the video makes the act seem weirder than it is.

Strollerderby has a similar reaction: not against the act, certainly it's a little on the stranger side of the life, but totally weirded out by the clip.

[B]efore you say, "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it," let me be the first to tell you that trying it isn't an issue, because it'll never happen.

You tell me what the creepy factor is. For me, on a scale of one to ten, this is an eleven. But maybe I'm just uptight.

Reader reaction was divided, mostly in favor of the practice:

1) No, you're uptight.

2) The concept isn't creepy. The background music is. Eew.

Our sentiments exactly. One day, someone is bound to make a video about childbirth orgasms that one doesn't constantly expect a laughing and smirking Tom Cruise to come popping out of.

More on this war of words, via Strollerderby.

Scanner Giveaway: Twisted Tickets

Emily Farris — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:34:00 GMT

Twisted, "a balloonamentary," follows the lives of eight balloon twisters as they create balloon sculptures most of us could never dream up. Like, who knew you could use balloons to teach the lessons of The Bible? Or that the evangelical twisters rival the "dirty" twisters who have a little more fun with their balloon?

The film, which contains an animated segment narrated by Jon Stewart, debuted at the SXSW Film Festival in 2007 and premieres in New York this weekend.

The first person to email us at scanner@nerve.com with a balloon haiku (following proper haiku form) wins two tickets to a screening of Twisted at the Pioneer Theater (in new York City) this Sunday, June 22 at 7:30 p.m.

[NY Times: A New Twist on Balloon Sculpture]

[Twisted: A Balloonamentary]

The Ew! True Heatherwood Story: Sex, Sex, Sex!

Emily Farris — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 15:11:00 GMT

"Researchers" have been digging into Heather Mills' past and have collected a bunch of her ex-boyfriends/lovers/etc for a documentary that one producer is calling "the program Sir Paul should have seen before he decided to get married."

"[They] have found some things she'll probably not be too happy to see again. She's tough and she's bounced back before. But she's worried this could lead to further problems for her in Britain."

While we're sure there's plenty of dirt on Ms. Mills, we'll have a hard time taking this documentary seriously. That doesn't mean we're not going to invite friends over and make popcorn and yell things like "nasty Bitch!," "dirty ho!" and "aw, snap!" at the television screen.

[Gabby Babble: Heather Mills Sex Life to Be Exposed on TV]

Doug Benson's Super High Me Premieres at South-by-Southwest

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 20:16:00 GMT

Reviews and the teaser for Super High Me, Marijuana Logues co-creator and High Times' Stoner of the Year 2006 Doug Benson's documentary have been making the rounds across the interweb this morning and it's looking like some funny shit. Jenna Wortham from Wired saw it this weekend at South-by-Southwest and dug it, and Morgan Spurlock "promised not to sue" but wished he'd seen the film.

Being more boozehound than stoner, pot-inspired jokes don't come that naturally to us. So just check the teaser after the jump and try not to spill the bong water or whatever the fuck you burnouts do:

Today in Design Porn: "Helvetica"

Bryan Christian — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 15:00:00 GMT

All right, can we be super-movie/design-geeky for, like, half a sec? We caught a showing of Helvetica -- the documentary about a font that you all totally know about but have maybe never given any thought to -- last year at SXSW, where it was probably the film that stuck in our craw the most that wasn't about electronically induced homocidia.

Now it's turned up on the Google Video! For free! For however long? We don't know! So click through to the next page and watch right now, fool! It's not like you're actually doing anything important for the next hour and a half, right?

[Image via Subtraction]