Scanner : dancing

We Could Watch Gay Dudes Do Gay Dances For Hours

Emily Farris — Fri, 08 May 2009 17:41:00 GMT

Especially when said dudes are in uniform and dancing like the computer baby. Unfortunately, we have to settle for three minutes and thirty-nine seconds. Enjoy.

(And don't get on our asses for assuming they're gay—which we do—the title of the video is Gay Korean Dance Video).

[Via Buzfeed]

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Can't Get No Satisfaction? Try Oxytocin

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 21:25:00 GMT

A new study indicates that the hormone oxytocin, normally used to facilliate birth and breastfeeding, can help you get over the fact that you're not attracted to damn near everyone around you.

An ABC News report says that oxytocin, which is available for purchase in the form of a nasal spray or injection, helps people develop bonds with strangers and to become more attracted to people they might not otherwise have been attracted to. Are we sure this is a good thing? Won't every guy in the world spray his bottle into a club full of women and then start prowling around? Can relationships survive this medical miracle?

A new study shows that men and women who inhale a whiff of the hormone oxytocin rate strangers as more attractive.
This effect adds to the hormone's known role in human relationships. One study found that oxytocin levels spike after new mothers look at or touch their newborns and may help bonding.
No matter their sex or mood, volunteers who received oxytocin rated male and female strangers as both more attractive and trusting.
Theodoridou's study did not examine how oxytocin could affect social judgements, but she speculates that the hormone dampens brain activity in a region involved in processing fearful emotions, called the amygdala.

Emphasis added. Before you all call up your uncle the shady doctor for a prescription (if you even need one), consider this partial list of side effects:

Impaired uterine blood flow, pelvic hematoma, tetanic uterine contractions, uterine rupture, postpartum hemorrhage.

In other words, completely harmless. Via ABC News.

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SATC Penis Guy's Wife Loves His Sexy Dancing

Emily Farris — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 19:33:00 GMT

This is Gilles Marini. Like us, you may not recognize the name Gilles Marini. In fact, you might not even recognize his face. But if you saw the Sex and the City movie you probably caught a glimpse of his sizable schlong. Or if you (unlike Scanner Brian) have been watching Dancing with the Stars, you might also have seen his junk—through his dance pants, of course. And you know what? Keep looking. Look all you want. Because his wife doesn't give a fuuuuck. In fact, she's not even worried that his partner is Cheryl Burke, who was rumored* to have been sleeping with her DWTS Season One partner, Drew Lachey. So, why is Marini's wife Carole so comfortable with her husband getting other women all hot and bothered?

Because “she’s French,” said Marini. “The more sexy it is [on the show] the better it is for her. Tonight she told me, ‘I saw that shaking booty stuff, you’re going to have to show it to me [at home].”

“Imagine if you do that job and you have a wife in the house or a husband in the house who is very kind of jealous and possessive, things would collapse,” he said in an interview with the website jenandbarbmomlife.com. “If I don’t have my wife at my side I have nothing. And so she is there pushing me and always kissing me and saying, ‘I am so proud of you.’”

Apparently, she pushes real good. The couple have been married for eleven years and have two children together.

[People: Gilles Marini Says Wife Loves His Sexy Dancing]

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[Image]

*We are not trying to perpetuate this rumor, only acknowlede its existence.

So You Think You Can Dance Better Than A Third Grader?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 13:20:00 GMT

This is exactly what we needed to kick off the week: a seriously badass brother and sister improvisational dance team.

Hopefully, these kids will grow up, find this on YouTube, and realize maybe it's actually pretty cool that their parents captured this moment in time. One commenter muses: "As Jack Donaghy says, In five years we'll all either be working for him or be dead by his hand." We'll tweak that a bit: he's either the next Black Michael Jackson or a future Melendez brother.

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Get in the Friday Zone: Mardi Gras!

Colleen Kane — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 17:46:00 GMT

It's month 18 of my exile in Southern Louisiana (by way of Brooklyn, by way of Jerse), a place I never would have thought I'd end up living.

One thing I've learned they take seriously in this part of the world is partying. Every season brings another celebration, and now we're in the time of the most infamous of them all: Mardi Gras. And so, to get in the spirit for the weekend's festivities, a video from last Mardi Gras of me dancing to the local jazz station with my Labrador, Cooper.

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"A Distinctly New York Kind Of Love" in Pictures

Emily Farris — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 15:56:00 GMT

What do you get when you put two couples and two cameras in one tiny New York City bedroom? "Pillow Talk," the latest project from husband and wife photography team Tribble and Mancendio.

James Frank Tribble and Tracey Manciendo told the New York Times that each wielding a camera, they "'dance' around their subjects, putting them at ease with constant banter and movement. As Ms. Mancenido explains, 'In every shoot, without fail, the sitter is drawn to one of us, and we use that as best we can to capture what we see.'"

[New York Times: In the Bedrooms]

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So Lap Dances Aren't Acceptable at High School Basketball Games?

Emily Farris — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 20:13:00 GMT

When I was on the dance team in high school—the aptly named Fort Osage "Indianettes"—I was given the nickname "PT" for pelvic thrust(er). According to my fellow dancers, I couldn't even perform the fight song without a little extra pump from my rump.

Apparently it was nothing compared a dance routine performed at Jonesboro High School in Georgia.

After a recent performance by the school's dance team, all dance, cheerleading and band members in the school district must have their routines approved by an administrator and the dance team has been disbanded. Its coach has been removed as well.

Heh. We bet the principal got a boner.

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[Image]

The Greatest Dive Bars: The Comfort Zone

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 17:55:00 GMT

We can't say for sure that this bar qualifies as a dive, since it's more of a dance club than a place with, say, a jukebox and your Uncle Morty, sporting a fedora, downing Old Crow in the corner; however, we'll take the reader's suggestion and include Toronto's notorious Comfort Zone on our list for two incredibly good reasons.

1) This review, which appears on iBegin:

If its normal to you to shit backwards on a toilet seat and just leave it, its the place to go, if its normal to clog sinks,flush plastic cups down the toilet,tear things out of the walls,its the place to go,if its normal to puke in the corners,leave all your shit,although big bins are just in front of you,its the place to go.
But they do have great music. Addy is just divine.Not to forget the staff.; - )
Please tip the cleaners,show them respect for being able to keep up with your people, they are having a hard time,trying to keep the toilets okay, they have to stay out there 24/ 7 just to keep up. God bless the cleaners.

2) And this story, which appeared in the March 17, 2007 edition of Eye Weekly:

The police raid early Sunday morning at the Comfort Zone at Spadina and College, resulting in approximately 150 people being investigated and released and 33 arrested and charged, came as little surprise to anyone who encountered tweaking patrons squinting into the street on weekend afternoons. The club’s location, in the basement of the Silver Dollar Room of the Waverly Hotel, is next door to the Scott Mission shelter and soup kitchen — an intersection where decorum is limited and the finest dining option remains Burger King.

But the mother of Andrew Fazio, the 26-year-old from Hamilton who died of an accidental overdose in January after visiting the club, took no solace in this matter-of-fact when it was raised at a police media conference this afternoon.

Others have questioned whether the club should have remained opened after the bust-- observers noted hard drugs were still being sold openly, which some may view as an insult to the guy who died. After all, shouldn't the club at least be worried it will happen again on their watch?

Nonetheless, most locals enjoy the vibe and the "dirty electro house beats." One noted on iBegin that it's the only place he can go and dance all night, sans shirt, without being bothered. But remember, we warned you about the other side of the coin:

Can someone say crystal meth? This is what this place seems to be all about. A drug dealer's heaven.

Here's the Comfort Zone's official website, in case you're visiting. Above photo is not of the Comfort Zone.

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While You Were Sleeping: Ashley Alexandra Dupre Finally Talked

Emily Farris — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:03:00 GMT

We haven't been watching this season of Dancing With the Stars but we have been watching clips of Cloris Leachman and her cleavage online and we're sad to say she's not one of the top three contestants on the show. [Yahoo!]

Stem-cell surgery: coming to a human organ near you. [NYT]

Malia and Sasha Obama got their first tour of the White House yesterday. They were invited by Laura Bush to check out their new rooms. [Us]

In her first interview since she was found to be pleasuring former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer for money, Ashley Alexandra Dupre spoke with People. What would she like you to know? That she's a normal girl. [People]

Scanner Nicole, who already knew this, will be watching Diane Sawyer interview Dupre Friday night on 20/20. Expect a full report. [Daily News]

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:41:00 GMT

This summer, we gave you the 50 Sexiest Albums of All-Time in an effort to help the music industry's sluggish sales numbers. Now, we present an even sexier compendium-- complete with a few NSFW scenes to warm up your November afternoon-- as well as background and trivia and everything else that we can think of to convince you to rent these the next time you want to seduce somebody...

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All Time: 50-41

50. The Seven Year Itch. Backstory: What more do you need than this, Marilyn Monroe's famous subway grate encounter? Trivia: It has the Joe DiMaggio Seal of Disapproval-- the scene was so sexy, her husband (that guy from the Mrs. Robinson song) fled and never came back. Irnoically, the skirt blowing up? Deleted from the movie itself. Luckily, the rest of the film is brimming with unconsummated sexuality.

49. Casablanca. Backstory: Not even the sexiest movie from 1943, this earns its place here for the most romantic scene in movie history, in our opinion. Watching Bogie decide to do the right thing and send the love of his life off on a plane with her husband is so damn manly of him that, at the mere reminder of this moment, our gonads hang in shame. Trivia: The original ending came very closed to being changed thank to the Allied invasion of Casablanca just before the film was to be released.

48. Cruel Intentions. Backstory: Is it wrong to choose this over Les Liaisons Dangereuses, its predecessor? No, for while Liaisons did have a notable sex scene featuring the breasts of Uma Thurman, it also featured the tongue of John Malkovich and didn't really capture our (sexual) interest throughout. Oddly enough, the sinister and more overt incestuous teasing Sarah Michelle Gellar puts Ryan Phillipe through kept us glued to this otherwise merely grade-B adaptation of the famed French novel. Trivia: The sequel was originally planned as a TV series called Manchester Prep; here's how bad it was: when Fox decided it was too risque for their radical right-wing mindsets, the producers simply slapped the first three episodes together, added a nude scene, and released it straight to video. Yep, it's that good... [NSFW naughtiness starting after the 40-second mark.]

47. Midnight Cowboy. Backstory: If you're over the age of 12, you've hopefully done your civic duty and watched the only (then-)rated X movie to win Best Picture. If you haven't, stop reading and add it to your queue at once. If you've already seen it, then you know the hilarious sex scenes and sexual tension between Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffman are only two of the reasons it helped to usher in a new dawn of gritty Hollywood filmmaking. Trivia: The film's famous party scene includes actual Warhol Superstars and the script was written by the great blacklisted writer Waldo Salt.

46. Flashdance. Backstory: While dancing in a lousy Pittsburgh bar and dreaming of studying at a nearby conservatory, Jennifer Beals meets the owner of a steel mill, where she also works. The two gradually fall in love... and yeah, you read Cinderella? You're tired of bad 80s music? Then you don't need this film. What you do need is this clip below... Trivia: The script was co-written by Joe Eszterhas, who went on to pen Showgirls and Basic Instinct.

45. Body Heat. Backstory: Hey, remember when Kathleen Turner used to be hot? We don't either-- although many people swear by the steamy Southern tale of murder, betrayal, and other cliched Hollywood plot twists. Trivia: Who cares about trivia? Watch this scene of unrestrained animal lust, which almost makes you forget it involves William Hurt and Kathleen Turner. [NSFW almost immediately.]

44. No Way Out. Backstory: Sean Young's character is so magnificiently attractive, not only does Kevin Costner risk life and life to sleep with her, but Gene Hackman ends up doing a terrible thing in rage because of her. (We won't say what it is, but here's a hint: they give it away on the back cover of the DVD, those idiots.) Trivia: This is the only film on this list that includes a sex scene in a movie vehicle. Also, nobody ever looked as good as Sean Young (!) does in that early party scene. Never ever. [NSFW almost immediately.]

43. Goldfinger. Backstory: It's fucking James Bond, yo, so there's your backstory. This is the one with Pussy Galore and all her hot young pilots, Shirley Eaton wearing only gold body paint, plus Sean Connery at his peak. Trivia: The Aston Martin spy car was introduced in this film and was such a successful inclusion it insured many films had donated product placements from them on.

42. Bound. Backstory: Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon make sex movie, yas. Trivia: This movie had a major cult following in the days before internet porn took off, and probably still does to this day. At one time, the phenomenon reached such a fever pitch, the following clip topped several Best Sex Scene Polls. The rest of the movie is pretty randy, too. [NSFW starting around the 4-minute mark.]

41. Bull Durham. Backstory: Who knew North Carolinans had such hot sex and great minor league sports teams? Trivia: The sex was so spectacular, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon decided to keep it going in real life... and they still do, or so we're told. Also, if you look closely, the note that Costner sends over to Sarandon doesn't say “I want to make love to you.” It says, “Wanna fuck this time?” And one more: Kurt Russell, who played minor league ball at one time, was originally set to star. [NSFW starts after a few minutes, then continues through two consecutive sex scenes.]

To be continued... your suggestions, as always, are welcome in the comments section.

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Profile of New York's Bailarinas in New York Magazine

Nicole Pasulka — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:37:00 GMT

This week's New York Magazine has a really interesting look at the lives of New York City's bailarinas. Bailarinas work in bars and clubs around the city and are paid to dance with men and keep them company.

The story mainly focuses on a dancer named Rosa and her desperately smitten client Edgar:

Rosa is a bailarina. For a couple of dollars per song, she dances with strangers in a bailarina bar. It’s a job held by many immigrant women in Spanish-speaking New York, filling a need created by many immigrant men. The man on the phone is typical of her clients. He’s in his twenties, doesn’t speak English, and immigrated to the United States by himself—no mother, no girlfriend, no wife. He works six days a week at a restaurant and sends his money back home to Ecuador. Most of all, he’s lonely.

Bailarina bars are far from a "world of netherwhoredom" though it definitely takes a toll on Rosa and other dancers. Rosa faces sexual harrassment on the job, exploitation by her bosses, and all the while has to negotiate a fine line between personal connection and professionalism with her doting clients.

Video of the Day: Two Men and a Dance Track

Emily Farris — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:13:00 GMT

We found this video with the subject line "gaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygaygay." And, well, we have to agree.

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Sexy Librarians Win Wisconsin Dance-Off

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:10:00 GMT

This unrelated photo aside, we have no proof the librarians in the already-legendary Wisconsin Librarian Dance-Off are as sexy as we want them to be (to be give a clue: we picture Tina Fey and half a dozen clones, all biting the ends of their glasses and leaning over a reading table.)

It doesn't matter-- the librarians are automatically awesome...

Librarians shook out their buns and dusted off their dancing shoes to compete in the Wisconsin Book Cart Drill Team competition.
The Baraboo Bookers took first prize Friday at the Wisconsin Library Association's annual conference.

Teams of librarians created short choreographed dances and rocked out with their book carts.

The Baraboo Public Library team danced to the rock 'n' roll classic "Born to be Wild" with four carts and a dolly.

They competed against the Mad City truckers, graduate students from the University of Wisconsin-Madison who used an Indiana Jones-themed routine.

The Baraboo team advances to the national competition in Chicago next summer and also gets a $250 gift certificate. [AP]

And you thought the only revolution this week was the Obama one. Now this is a movement we can get behind...

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Men's Health Should Worry More About Men's Sanity

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 17:10:00 GMT

Men's Health (apparently the South African edition) has just published the "41 ways to melt a woman's heart," which should be subtitled "or compel her to obtain a restraining order."

Guys, don't try these at home... at least... not all of them.

Like all lists of advice for relationships, the value of the wisdom depends on the personalities. For example, see #3.

1. Ask her to dance.

2. On windy days, brush wayward strands of hair from her eyes and mouth.

3. When she’s coming down the street, across the room, or up the stairs to meet you, walk towards her as soon as you see her.

4. Kiss her between her shoulder blades when she turns her back to you to go to sleep.

We know quite a few ladies who get off on a guy who does not rush over to meet them, instead leans back with a sly smile and waits for his girl to meet him where he's already standing. But that's a trivial issue compared to some of these other creeptastical suggestions:

24. Touch her arm when you leave the table to go to the bathroom. Touch her again when you come back.

25. Shave just before you see her. She’ll notice. [Yeah, and not necessarily in a good way. Dudes, don't forget, some women appreciate it when you don't shave before you see them.]
26. Hug her when she gets jealous. Hug her hard. [Hmmm... why does this sound creepy all of a sudden?]
27. Worship her breasts.
28. Give her jewellery.

29. Hand her two towels when she gets out of the shower. (The second one is for her hair.)

Right. Make sure to be standing there, motionless and in complete silence, when she yanks the shower curtain over.

And although we're pretty sure this one's meant to be silly, after the above choices, we're not so sure:

41. If she’s too stressed to want sex...
a. Run a bath for her.
b. Give her a full-body massage.
c. Ask if she wants to wrestle.

Via Men's Health.

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Sloppy Seconds: Jerry Lewis Continues to Hate on the Gays

Emily Farris — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 21:19:00 GMT

Would you like to watch Britney Spears work out? Here you go. [Faded Youth]

We went from being not so into Matt Damon to wishing we were fucking Matt Damon. He's doing GOTV in Florida this week! [People]

More sad news for Jennifer Hudson and her family. [CNN]

Considering we've never seen him live, we should probably see Michael Jackson in concert before his face implodes. [FameCrawler]

Speaking of Mr. Jackson, 3,960 people dressed as zombies got together to do the "Thriller" dance in Austin. [Thrill the World Austin]

Prepare for cute overload: a dog risked his life to guard a box of kittens in a burning home. [Neatorama]

82-year-old Jerry Lewis continued to hate on the gays, calling cricket "a fucking fag game" on Australian TV. [Radar]

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Allow Us to Introduce Scanner Nicole's Partner in The Dance

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:06:00 GMT

As any of you who saw Scanner Nicole dance herself on and off a table this weekend can confirm, she and the graceful nymph in this video graduated from the same dance academy with honors. (Seriously, this is exactly how I dance, but usually I'm holding a tall boy of Budweiser.)

Crushed: Kim Kardashain's Dreams of Dancing With the Stars (Outside the Bedroom, Anyway)

Emily Farris — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 15:37:00 GMT

Apparently Kim Kardashian is just as exciting on the dance floor as she is in the bedroom.

That's not very exciting, for anyone who hasn't seen her sex tape.

Kardashian was kicked off of ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" last night, after a "lackluster ramba routine." Mmhmm.

She and her partner, Mark Ballas, received a score of 17 out of 30, and after that score was combined with viewer votes, the pair was booted.

[Yahoo!: 3rd celebrity gone from 'Dancing With the Stars]

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[Image]

"The Renewed Mind Is the Key" to Total Delusion About Your Dancing Abilities

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:31:00 GMT

Apparently it's church-going weirdos day here at Scanner. This threesome are representing The Way International Productions, some sort of ministry that gives concerts and grows zombies.They may have found God and some sort of "renewed mind" but there is something pretty sacrilegious going on here...

In this video you will find coordinated outfits and some pretty ambitious choreography, but dude in the middle needs to pray for better dance moves also maybe a slightly more expressive face.

Sloppy Seconds: What Did Tina Fey Lose at the Emmys?

Emily Farris — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 21:04:00 GMT

Josh Groban says that "coffee and Nick at Nite" helped him prepare for his Emmy performance last night. Really? We were thinking crack and cheese. [People]

Um. Lowest rated Emmys. Ever. [The Feed]

Even with the part where that guy from Dancing With the Stars dropped Heidi Klum on her ass? At least she showed us her bruise. [FadedYouth]

Are the Cyruses trying to get fired from Disney? God, we hope so. [MollyGood]

The plane crash that killed four people and left DJ AM and Travis Barker badly burned may have been the result of a faulty tire. [Us]

Tina Fey didn't lose her composure, her top or her virginity at the Emmys. Nope, she just lost her purse. We think Josh Groban stole it. Hoping to find Sarah Palin's crack. Everyone gets so confused at these things. [People]

Has Kim Kardashian's DWTS Partner Seen Her Sex Tape?

Emily Farris — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:11:00 GMT

Celebutante Kim Kardashian joins the likes of Lance Bass, Chef Rocco Dispirito, Susan Lucci, Toni Braxton and Cloris Leachman for the seventh season of Dancing With the Stars.

On her MySpace blog, Kardashian talks a lot about her anxiety over meeting her dance partner, Mark Ballas.

“All I could think was, I would be spending weeks and weeks and weeks, hours upon hours with this person, so I hoped we’d just get along to start!”

Riiight, Kimmers. You were just worried he'd seen your sex tape.

We only hope her performance on DWTS has a little more energy than her sex tape. And based on this picture we found, we think she'll be okay:

But what do you think?

[People: Kim Kardashian Traces Her DWTS Journey]

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Groove Is in the Heart, the Grocery Store, the Ontario Science Center...

Nicole Pasulka — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:02:00 GMT

This guy looooves to get down in unexpected places. He brings his moves to Fortino's grocery store in Hamilton, Ontario and people are, well, unfazed. But lack of public support cannot stop the muse of dance. The dancing man is actually a guy named Mike who at the time of this interview had uploaded on Youtube a video of himself dancing a day for 329 days, and on May 5, 2008 had successfully uploaded a dance a day for an entire year.

His last dance, Joy Division's "Digital," in the park and embeded below.

In Da Club, Saving Da Planet One Piezoelectric Dance Floor at a Time

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 16:32:00 GMT

Love partying and energy efficiency? Well then, let us tell you about your new favorite London nightclub! Surya claims to be “the world’s first ecological club” and it's got a laundry list of green features to back up that claim.

What are some of the ways Surya plans to rescue us all from global climate change?

It generates all its power on-site through various renewable technologies, and even has some left over to donate to neighbours. There is a wind turbine and solar panels, along with batteries to store some of their output. More strikingly, it boasts a piezoelectric dance floor, which generates power thanks to the motion of the happy patrons jumping up and down.

...

The toilets use hardly any water and the urinals none at all. The paint is chemical-free. The curtains are made of hemp. The marble and granite flooring and the wooden balustrades are “fair-trade”. The wine is organic and the beer is “bio”.

So get out and shake it on the pizoelectric dance floor for the sake of the earth. Pat yourself on the back and then bring us a "bio" beer when you're done.

Video of the Day: Pipecleaner Dance

Emily Farris — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:12:00 GMT

We just found the best way for you to waste the rest of your Friday if you're still stuck at work: the interactive Pipecleaner Dance.

Think about how a movie is itself a special effect: A sequence of still images flashes rapidly, convincing your brain that you’re actually looking at, say, a steel locomotive hurtling at you, a giant ape climbing up the Empire State Building, or a stick figure made from pipe cleaners joyously dancing to pop songs.

That last concept is all that David Bessler’s website offers, and yet it’s somehow enough to keep us occupied for an insanely long time. Choose from one of seven songs (like OutKast’s “Ms. Jackson” or Kenny Loggins’s “Footloose”), then type on the top three rows of your keyboard or move your mouse over the onscreen icons to cycle through a series of pictures of a pipe-cleaner man in all manner of boogie-down poses (some of which only a pipe-cleaner man should attempt). You can create elaborate choreography for your dancing avatar, but you’ll be surprised at the way random keystrokes can generate a pretty plausible routine. Maybe you’ll pick up a few new moves yourself.

Yes, yes. Special effects. Art. Go do this now. You will (and can) thank us later. We suggest you click on the red letter 'B.'

[Pipecleaner Dance via VSL]

Fred Astaire "Smooth Criminal" Mash Up Surprises With Its Awesomeness

Nicole Pasulka — Wed, 28 May 2008 18:36:00 GMT

We thought Fred Astaire was grandma shit and while it probably is, look at the stems on Cyd Charisse! Holy Mackerel! (Sorry! Just trying to get into the grandma mindset.)

OK, dig the mash up after the jump. Makes us want to put on a Fedora and dance like it's 1955.

Video of the Day: sexyATTACK

Emily Farris — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:12:00 GMT

We can't think of anything we'd rather be doing right now than getting dressed up in American Apparel clothes and re-enacting Eric Prydz’ "Call on Me" music video in the dairy section of a Kroger in Texas. If anyone would like to arrange a sexyATTACK crew in the greater New York area, do let us know. Not only were we on the drill team in high school ("The Indianettes"), we acquired the nickname "PT" for "pelvic thrust," so these moves should be a piece of cake for us.

Original video, which we're pretty sure inspired all of American Apparel's advertising, after the jump. But be warned, it's barely safe for work.

More sexyATTACK videos, including the dancers getting busted at Kroger and some dance practices at sexyATTACK.

(Thanks, Frank!)

Who Would You Rather: Elizabeth Berkley or Tyra Banks?

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:30:00 GMT

Because if it was Padma Lakshmi vs. Anyone Including Venus, this would've been flippin' obvious.

We're pretty sure no one watches Bravo unless "Top Chef" is on, but maybe there are some people who aren't satiated by "Dancing With the Stars" that they need yet another dance show. Or maybe they're just fans of Elizabeth Berkley and haven't stopped fantasizing about her since "Showgirls"-- or worse, "Saved By The Bell," the unfunniest show in history, a history which includes "Sex And The City."

Okay, okay, now we're just trying to piss you off. Gotcha! (Not that we're retracting any of the above statements.) Seriously now, Tyra Banks is obviously hot and her hosting duties on "America's Next Top Model" haven't hindered her standing as one of the few intelligent women currently hosting a daytime talk show.

But what about Berkley in the pool in "Showgirls?" Then again, there's every photo of Tyra Banks ever released by a reputable publication... hmmm...

Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner, Not Even Britney

Emily Farris — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 19:42:00 GMT

If we had kids, we wouldn't let Britney Spears anywhere near them. But you know, some people cook meth right next to their formula and baby food. They're probably the same people who sent their kids to a dance class with Ms. Spears.

Parents for the seven kids waited outside while she taught. A little girl, who took the class, gushed, "We had so much fun. Britney was wearing little red shorts and she looked so pretty” as she and her mother headed to their car.

Of course she was wearing "little red shorts."

[US Weekly: Britney Spears Teaches Children at Dance Class]

Scanner Dance Party: Little Boy Does "Hard Style"

Emily Farris — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 14:54:00 GMT

There's something mildly creepy about watching children behave like adults, especially when they do it well. Creepy, yet fascinating.