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So You Think You Can Dance Better Than A Third Grader?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 13:20:00 GMT

This is exactly what we needed to kick off the week: a seriously badass brother and sister improvisational dance team.

Hopefully, these kids will grow up, find this on YouTube, and realize maybe it's actually pretty cool that their parents captured this moment in time. One commenter muses: "As Jack Donaghy says, In five years we'll all either be working for him or be dead by his hand." We'll tweak that a bit: he's either the next Black Michael Jackson or a future Melendez brother.

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So You Think You Can Dance... Topless?

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 18:14:00 GMT

So You Think You Can Dance? is a hit around the world, even though not one person has ever admitted to watching it. So, to stir up some interest in the Australia version's second series (a.k.a. "season"), contestant Penny Higgs decided to pose topless for an online magazine.

Surprisingly, her producers didn't have a problem with it...

According to local news source Adelaide Now, Higgs posed for the photos over a year ago and, remarkably enough, the producers were actually cool with it. (By the way, we're surprised not because we disagree but because you almost never hear about "reasonable" reality show producers.)

While producers were unaware of the photographs until contacted by Confidential, a spokesman later determined they were 12 months old.

"We would have been concerned if she'd done it without telling us but they're old shots," he said.

Penny Higgs is favored by some to win the self-promotion competition, with host and #1 recording artist Natalie Bassingthwaighte the major competition to become the show's breakout star.

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The Greatest Dive Bars: The Comfort Zone

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 17:55:00 GMT

We can't say for sure that this bar qualifies as a dive, since it's more of a dance club than a place with, say, a jukebox and your Uncle Morty, sporting a fedora, downing Old Crow in the corner; however, we'll take the reader's suggestion and include Toronto's notorious Comfort Zone on our list for two incredibly good reasons.

1) This review, which appears on iBegin:

If its normal to you to shit backwards on a toilet seat and just leave it, its the place to go, if its normal to clog sinks,flush plastic cups down the toilet,tear things out of the walls,its the place to go,if its normal to puke in the corners,leave all your shit,although big bins are just in front of you,its the place to go.
But they do have great music. Addy is just divine.Not to forget the staff.; - )
Please tip the cleaners,show them respect for being able to keep up with your people, they are having a hard time,trying to keep the toilets okay, they have to stay out there 24/ 7 just to keep up. God bless the cleaners.

2) And this story, which appeared in the March 17, 2007 edition of Eye Weekly:

The police raid early Sunday morning at the Comfort Zone at Spadina and College, resulting in approximately 150 people being investigated and released and 33 arrested and charged, came as little surprise to anyone who encountered tweaking patrons squinting into the street on weekend afternoons. The club’s location, in the basement of the Silver Dollar Room of the Waverly Hotel, is next door to the Scott Mission shelter and soup kitchen — an intersection where decorum is limited and the finest dining option remains Burger King.

But the mother of Andrew Fazio, the 26-year-old from Hamilton who died of an accidental overdose in January after visiting the club, took no solace in this matter-of-fact when it was raised at a police media conference this afternoon.

Others have questioned whether the club should have remained opened after the bust-- observers noted hard drugs were still being sold openly, which some may view as an insult to the guy who died. After all, shouldn't the club at least be worried it will happen again on their watch?

Nonetheless, most locals enjoy the vibe and the "dirty electro house beats." One noted on iBegin that it's the only place he can go and dance all night, sans shirt, without being bothered. But remember, we warned you about the other side of the coin:

Can someone say crystal meth? This is what this place seems to be all about. A drug dealer's heaven.

Here's the Comfort Zone's official website, in case you're visiting. Above photo is not of the Comfort Zone.

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The 50 Sexiest Movies of All-Time: 50-41

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 18:41:00 GMT

This summer, we gave you the 50 Sexiest Albums of All-Time in an effort to help the music industry's sluggish sales numbers. Now, we present an even sexier compendium-- complete with a few NSFW scenes to warm up your November afternoon-- as well as background and trivia and everything else that we can think of to convince you to rent these the next time you want to seduce somebody...

The 50 Sexiest Movies of All Time: 50-41

50. The Seven Year Itch. Backstory: What more do you need than this, Marilyn Monroe's famous subway grate encounter? Trivia: It has the Joe DiMaggio Seal of Disapproval-- the scene was so sexy, her husband (that guy from the Mrs. Robinson song) fled and never came back. Irnoically, the skirt blowing up? Deleted from the movie itself. Luckily, the rest of the film is brimming with unconsummated sexuality.

49. Casablanca. Backstory: Not even the sexiest movie from 1943, this earns its place here for the most romantic scene in movie history, in our opinion. Watching Bogie decide to do the right thing and send the love of his life off on a plane with her husband is so damn manly of him that, at the mere reminder of this moment, our gonads hang in shame. Trivia: The original ending came very closed to being changed thank to the Allied invasion of Casablanca just before the film was to be released.

48. Cruel Intentions. Backstory: Is it wrong to choose this over Les Liaisons Dangereuses, its predecessor? No, for while Liaisons did have a notable sex scene featuring the breasts of Uma Thurman, it also featured the tongue of John Malkovich and didn't really capture our (sexual) interest throughout. Oddly enough, the sinister and more overt incestuous teasing Sarah Michelle Gellar puts Ryan Phillipe through kept us glued to this otherwise merely grade-B adaptation of the famed French novel. Trivia: The sequel was originally planned as a TV series called Manchester Prep; here's how bad it was: when Fox decided it was too risque for their radical right-wing mindsets, the producers simply slapped the first three episodes together, added a nude scene, and released it straight to video. Yep, it's that good... [NSFW naughtiness starting after the 40-second mark.]

47. Midnight Cowboy. Backstory: If you're over the age of 12, you've hopefully done your civic duty and watched the only (then-)rated X movie to win Best Picture. If you haven't, stop reading and add it to your queue at once. If you've already seen it, then you know the hilarious sex scenes and sexual tension between Jon Voight and Dustin Hoffman are only two of the reasons it helped to usher in a new dawn of gritty Hollywood filmmaking. Trivia: The film's famous party scene includes actual Warhol Superstars and the script was written by the great blacklisted writer Waldo Salt.

46. Flashdance. Backstory: While dancing in a lousy Pittsburgh bar and dreaming of studying at a nearby conservatory, Jennifer Beals meets the owner of a steel mill, where she also works. The two gradually fall in love... and yeah, you read Cinderella? You're tired of bad 80s music? Then you don't need this film. What you do need is this clip below... Trivia: The script was co-written by Joe Eszterhas, who went on to pen Showgirls and Basic Instinct.

45. Body Heat. Backstory: Hey, remember when Kathleen Turner used to be hot? We don't either-- although many people swear by the steamy Southern tale of murder, betrayal, and other cliched Hollywood plot twists. Trivia: Who cares about trivia? Watch this scene of unrestrained animal lust, which almost makes you forget it involves William Hurt and Kathleen Turner. [NSFW almost immediately.]

44. No Way Out. Backstory: Sean Young's character is so magnificiently attractive, not only does Kevin Costner risk life and life to sleep with her, but Gene Hackman ends up doing a terrible thing in rage because of her. (We won't say what it is, but here's a hint: they give it away on the back cover of the DVD, those idiots.) Trivia: This is the only film on this list that includes a sex scene in a movie vehicle. Also, nobody ever looked as good as Sean Young (!) does in that early party scene. Never ever. [NSFW almost immediately.]

43. Goldfinger. Backstory: It's fucking James Bond, yo, so there's your backstory. This is the one with Pussy Galore and all her hot young pilots, Shirley Eaton wearing only gold body paint, plus Sean Connery at his peak. Trivia: The Aston Martin spy car was introduced in this film and was such a successful inclusion it insured many films had donated product placements from them on.

42. Bound. Backstory: Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon make sex movie, yas. Trivia: This movie had a major cult following in the days before internet porn took off, and probably still does to this day. At one time, the phenomenon reached such a fever pitch, the following clip topped several Best Sex Scene Polls. The rest of the movie is pretty randy, too. [NSFW starting around the 4-minute mark.]

41. Bull Durham. Backstory: Who knew North Carolinans had such hot sex and great minor league sports teams? Trivia: The sex was so spectacular, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon decided to keep it going in real life... and they still do, or so we're told. Also, if you look closely, the note that Costner sends over to Sarandon doesn't say “I want to make love to you.” It says, “Wanna fuck this time?” And one more: Kurt Russell, who played minor league ball at one time, was originally set to star. [NSFW starts after a few minutes, then continues through two consecutive sex scenes.]

To be continued... your suggestions, as always, are welcome in the comments section.

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Sexy Librarians Win Wisconsin Dance-Off

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:10:00 GMT

This unrelated photo aside, we have no proof the librarians in the already-legendary Wisconsin Librarian Dance-Off are as sexy as we want them to be (to be give a clue: we picture Tina Fey and half a dozen clones, all biting the ends of their glasses and leaning over a reading table.)

It doesn't matter-- the librarians are automatically awesome...

Librarians shook out their buns and dusted off their dancing shoes to compete in the Wisconsin Book Cart Drill Team competition.
The Baraboo Bookers took first prize Friday at the Wisconsin Library Association's annual conference.

Teams of librarians created short choreographed dances and rocked out with their book carts.

The Baraboo Public Library team danced to the rock 'n' roll classic "Born to be Wild" with four carts and a dolly.

They competed against the Mad City truckers, graduate students from the University of Wisconsin-Madison who used an Indiana Jones-themed routine.

The Baraboo team advances to the national competition in Chicago next summer and also gets a $250 gift certificate. [AP]

And you thought the only revolution this week was the Obama one. Now this is a movement we can get behind...

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While You Were Sleeping: The Sexy Mrs. Freddy Kreuger

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 14:16:00 GMT

We can picture it: a Cleopatra movie starring Catherine Zeta-Jones as the title character and Hugh Jackman as Marc Antony. But a musical? And directed by Steven Soderbergh?

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClelan endorsed Obama on D.L. Hughley's new show. John McCain really needs a high profile endorsement soon-- really, he needs just about anything and everything soon to turn this thing around. Some observers think McCain could be down to funds of only one million dollars a day... you don't even want to know how that compares to Obama's staggering total.

Although we suspect it to be an exaggeration, this is nonetheless the most shocking HIV scare story we can recall...

Students at a suburban St. Louis high school headed to the gymnasium for HIV testing this week after an infected person told health officials as many as 50 teenagers might have been exposed to the virus that causes AIDS.
Officials refused to give details on who the person was or how the students at Normandy High School might have been exposed...
A teacher in a neighboring district singled out a girl who dates someone at Normandy High and instructed her to get tested, Hochstedler said. A competing school's football team initially balked at playing Normandy's 8-0 team.
Jasmine Lane, a 16-year-old sophomore, said her boyfriend from a neighboring high school broke up with her on learning of the news -- after she bought them tickets to homecoming.
"I cried so hard," she said.

There's nothing positive about this story whatsoever. It has the potential to be an explosive, ongoing saga... we'll keep you posted. (Jasmine, we'll totally fly to St. Louis to go to the homecoming with you.)

Yet another downer: a woman was sentenced to forty years in prison. Her crime? Lighting her boyfriend on fire. His? Not beating up the guy who was checking her out.

Anne Hathaway's ex was sentenced yesterday...

A dashing Italian conman who went out with Hollywood actress Anne Hathaway was sentenced by a court in New York on Thursday to four and a half years in prison for fraud. [Yahoo!]

Note to crackheads: it's easy to get busted for faking crack prescriptions... since there's no such thing as a crack prescription.

And this Halloween costume is pretty stupid. Although, we have to admit, Freddy Kreuger has great taste in women.

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Hero Of The Day: Woman Who Reversed Her Menopause

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 18:58:00 GMT

Margaret Lloyd-Hart was twenty-nine-years-old and going through menopause.

Instead of going childless and suffering through an early so-called "old age," she went and did something about it. Something that kicks major ass: she underwent an experimental ovarian graft procedure and made world history...

What more needs to be said than this, Newsweek's report on the procedure:

Last year surgeons removed Margaret Lloyd-Hart's second ovary after problems with cysts, but the Arizona ballerina, now 30, wasn't ready to give up on fertility. So doctors froze the tissue. With both ovaries gone, she was menopausal. She started hormone-replacement therapy, but was unhappy with side effects. So doctors at New York Methodist Hospital thawed her ovary, threaded strips of it onto a biodegradable "frame," and inserted it near her fallopian tubes. After a whopping dose of hormones, the eggs embedded in her ovarian tissue were back in action: she ovulated and menstruated, a groundbreaking result. Her surgery was the first to restore ovulation through ovarian tissue transplant. Although Lloyd-Hart says she isn't trying to get pregnant, the new technique could one day help other women overcome infertility.

Ah, piece of cake, right? Yep, all in a day's historical work at New York Methodist and Lloyd-Hart walks out with her whole life turned around for the better. "Cocktail, doctor?" "Yes, doctor, why not?"

Lloyd-Hart is the first woman to see her menopause reverse, which is indeed cause for celebration. Even more so is the realization that this woman has had a rough life and this may be the best thing that has happened to her in ages:

The 30-year-old who lives in Arizona, had an ovary removed last year to treat a benign medical condition. Her other ovary had been taken out when she was 17 because of a cyst.
Experts at Leeds and elsewhere were keen to stress that the release of an egg did not mean that Ms Lloyd-Hart could have a successful pregnancy. [However, the] new procedure also opens up the possibility of donor ovaries being transplanted into infertile women.

Well, we're still holding out hope for our girl MLH. Read more at the BBC.

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Video of the Day: Pipecleaner Dance

Emily Farris — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 16:12:00 GMT

We just found the best way for you to waste the rest of your Friday if you're still stuck at work: the interactive Pipecleaner Dance.

Think about how a movie is itself a special effect: A sequence of still images flashes rapidly, convincing your brain that you’re actually looking at, say, a steel locomotive hurtling at you, a giant ape climbing up the Empire State Building, or a stick figure made from pipe cleaners joyously dancing to pop songs.

That last concept is all that David Bessler’s website offers, and yet it’s somehow enough to keep us occupied for an insanely long time. Choose from one of seven songs (like OutKast’s “Ms. Jackson” or Kenny Loggins’s “Footloose”), then type on the top three rows of your keyboard or move your mouse over the onscreen icons to cycle through a series of pictures of a pipe-cleaner man in all manner of boogie-down poses (some of which only a pipe-cleaner man should attempt). You can create elaborate choreography for your dancing avatar, but you’ll be surprised at the way random keystrokes can generate a pretty plausible routine. Maybe you’ll pick up a few new moves yourself.

Yes, yes. Special effects. Art. Go do this now. You will (and can) thank us later. We suggest you click on the red letter 'B.'

[Pipecleaner Dance via VSL]