Sloppy Seconds: Megan Fox Doesn't Need You To Take Her Seriously

Emily Farris — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:01:00 GMT

A man gave birth to his twin, Alien style. Sort of. [The Inquisitr]

Looks like Oprah is going to have a lot less shit on her show. Literally. Dr. Oz—her in-house medical professional who was all too excited to talk poo with Ms. Winfrey—is getting his own show. [Yahoo!]

When we were growing up we seriously thought that everyone in our hometown of Independence, MO was skinny and had bad teeth because they were poor. We know better now. But why is meth so prevalent in some regions and not in others? [FlavorWire]

Wanting to not appear so poor ourselves, at 17 we lied to get a credit card. That was the beginning of our own personal financial hell. This pre-paid Discover card might have done us some good... and probably still could. [Lifestyler]

Speaking of us being poor, don't forget you can buy our Missed Tee for a mere $13. We get 10% of every sale, plus what's not to love about dogs humping legs? [MissedTees]

In the mean time, we'll follow Suze Orman on Twitter. [Twitter]

"I don't want to have to be like a Scarlett Johansson — who I have nothing against," Megan Fox tells June's Esquire, "but I don't want to have to go on talk shows and pull out every single SAT word I've ever learned to prove, like, 'Take me seriously, I am intelligent, I can speak.' I don't want to have to do that. I resent having to prove that I'm not a retard — but I do. And part of it is my own fault." [Us]

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Scanner Roundtable: Sugar Daddies (and Mamas)... Would You?

Emily Farris — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 17:41:00 GMT

I often joke about getting a sugar daddy, but underneath the humor lies some honest interest. Making a career out of freelance writing, I've sort-of condemned myself to a life of poverty, or near poverty anyway. I live paycheck to paycheck, pay my bills late most of the time and am not ashamed to admit I like to buy things—clothes, shoes, nice dinners. And the idea of a sugar daddy sounds sort-of great, doesn't it? Especially in this economy. Getting my bills paid, not having to worry about how anyone is going to finance a car for me with my terrible credit, all the clothes I want... and all in return for just showing an old man a good time? Sure, maybe it's a little like prostitution, but like I've always said, any mutually beneficial agreement between to consensual adults should remain between those two consensual adults.

True, there are plenty of reasons not to do it. I can't imagine having sex with someone I'm not attracted to, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little concerned with what other people would think. But if I happened to meet an attractive, intelligent, hilarious man who was also loaded and wanted the pleasure of my company now and then, I'd have a hard time turning that down. The one thing I can't bring myself to do is find a sugar daddy online, though I must say it would be surprisingly easy to do should I find myself suddenly unemployed or with medical bills I couldn't pay. In addition to craigslist ads like this one, there are multiple sites like seekingarrangement.com that match pretty young things up with sugar daddys—and sugar mamas. Until I get that desperate, I'll keep pretending credit cards are free money and joking about the day my Sean Connery type comes along.

But what about you? Could you—would you—get a sugar daddy (or mama)? And if so, under what circumstances?

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Sloppy Seconds: We Can All Stop Worrying About Swine Flu Now

I Owe You a Good Leg Humping

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