Scanner : corrupted mind

Vegas Is Boring, So Thank God Atlantic City's Still Sleazy...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:46:00 GMT

Have you heard about the insanity that's going on in Atlantic City?

And no, we don't mean the usual drug-related shootings, OD'ing schoolkids, or half a dozen brothels being raided. We're talking about the City Council corruption scandal, which is finally over, having exposed ministers getting blow jobs from prostitutes, backroom deals, and entire families going down in an amusing public bonfire...

Here are the facts:

A Baptist minister was secretly filmed getting a blow job on a hotel room's hidden camera (which was inside a clock radio, creepily enough.) It turned out the minister was City Council member Eugene Robinson and it quickly became apparent that he was being set up for blackmail by the Council's President, Craig Calloway, who apparently didn't have enough power at #1. Even more strange: Calloway was busted by a DJ who received a copy of the tape from a man wearing something of a Mr. Potato Head getup: ridiculous glasses, fake facial hair, and protective gloves.

Now Calloway has been convicted of corruption and a conspiracy that involved two of his brothers, and will serve three years in a Federal prison. Meanwhile, the city is suffering financially as even casinos can't make a profit in these trying times. It also doesn't help that the most recent ex-mayor of A.C. famously went AWOL last year, resurfacing only to admit to a painkiller addiction and resigning.

In other words, if you miss the 70's Las Vegas and its pre-legalized prostitution underworld, buses leave for Atlantic City leave every 15 minutes from New York's Port Authority...

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Controversial "Courting Condi" Cancelled By Cronies

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:54:00 GMT

The 2008 election year may have ended, but Bush & Co. aren't splayed out on the front steps of 1600 Pennsylvania, waiting for the Obamas to roll in.

Condoleezza Rice, for one, hasn't resorted to phoning it in. She shows up for work every day in classy Saks, brushes the Katrina victims aside, and strides through the front gate to the White House, where her boss, her hero, awaits with a non-alcoholic beer and a bag of pretzels. Together, they are Nixon and Kissinger, circa 1974, with the fireplace ablaze and the rocks in a glass of whiskey clattering back and forth, hashing out their escape plan.

Part of that plan is to ensure their legacy and making sure, for starters, that any revealing documentary films are dead in the water before they're even released...

We're not sure we buy the filmmakers claim that Karl Rove asked the Discovery Company to rescind its promise to fund the film or that the State Department had their hotel rooms bugged, but it may be true friends of or even Condoleezza Rice herself asked that Stanford University cancel an advance screening of "Courting Condi," a documentary following an actor-musician's quest to at least go on a date with Madame Secretary.

The Stanford Film Society (SFS) today cancelled a screening of a controversial documentary about Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, and a debate on whether Stanford University should welcome her back to its faculty when she leaves office in 2009.

The film’s director, Sebastian Doggart stated: “This has all the hallmarks of Rice’s cronies scaring the Stanford Film Society into pulling the screening.”

The movie, Courting Condi, is a documentary about Condoleezza Rice, charting her life and career from her birth in Alabama, through her time as Provost at Stanford, to her tenure as Secretary of State. Contributors include close friends of Rice, her top biographers Marcus Mabry and Glenn Kessler, and senior Republican politicians such as Brent Scowcroft and Lawrence Wilkerson... [it] is due for general release in February 2009.

We'd like to add that the film also co-stars Adrian Grenier and Steve Earle's music, plus its lead by the kid (now grown) who played Macaulay Culkin's demented brother in Home Alone.

The SFS at first offered no explanation for the cancelation; after some prying, the President claimed a Professor had asked to use the space and his agenda took priority. But the SFS added that they didn't think the post-screening debate would be balanced and that that fear factored in their decision. Doggart chalks all this up to a, well, not-so-vast right-wing conspiracy:

“Our documentary has seen these tactics of obstruction and intimidation before,” Doggart states. “Eighteen months ago, Discovery committed to financing $600,000 for the movie. One week before shooting, they pulled out. We subsequently learned that Karl Rove found out about the deal and advised the CEO of Discovery it would be bad for their ‘good relations with government’ to proceed. Discovery pulled out the next day, leading to legal wrangling and a final settlement of a $150,000 ‘kill loan’ from Discovery, and forcing us to make the film on a shoestring.”
Doggart continues: “The obstructive measures got worse. Her supporters did all they could to stop us securing archive materials of Rice’s time at both Denver University and Stanford. And then her agents raided our inn when we were filming in Washington DC.”

Here's the film's trailer. Tell me-- is this a documentary or more likely a mockumentary?

Via Courting Condi.

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And You Thought Bill Clinton Was A Sex-Crazed Politician...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:52:00 GMT

As part of our continuing obsession with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi('s sex life), we present highlights from the extended New Yorker profile of the high-profile cheater.

There won't be any juicier gossip in your news all day, even if Paris Hilton gets donkey punched by Brad Pitt...

Berlusconi, in his undeniably fascist approach to government, is only remotely concerned with his philandering, bribery, corruption, and other crimes. It makes for uncomfortable and even disturbing reading, although mighty juicy!

Here are a few highlights:

having survived some seventeen criminal trials without ultimately being convicted.
an enormous casting couch that Berlusconi used to grant favors to aspiring actresses and to try to bring down the government
does little to hide the fact that he has had a face-lift and hair transplants
a dodering septuagenarian addicted to penis pumps and mysterious injections; supports like to paint him as a tireless Don Juan, capable of satisfying two or three women at once
[a comedian said about Mara Carfagna, a close associate and rumored lover of Berlusconi's] "You can't make someone Minister of Equl Opportunity just because she's sucked your cock!"
does little to hide the fact that he has had a face-lift and hair transplants
[Carfagna] has undergone a major makeover since her days on television, when she favored short skirts.... "They've seen my ass even in Germany" [is a popular online video about featuring Carfagna in her showgirl days]
[Berlusconi to Carfagna] "If I weren't already married, I'd marry you!" [he said at a public event, which led to a tabloid-crazed spat with Mrs. Berlusconi, Veronica Lario]
[A note passed to Berlusconi during a session of Parliament, which Berlusconi controls with the same amount of unchecked power as Vladimir Putin or, worse yet, Joseph Stalin]: "Dear [President], we accept romantic appointments only from you."

We'd reveal more, but we want you to enjoy the New Yorker article for yourself. See the Nov. 3 issue for the rest.

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Scandals Clinging To Sarah Palin Like Trig To Her Pantsuit

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

Forgive the obnoxious headline-- we're serious that Sarah Palin is becoming bogged down in scandals.

Troopergate is, of course, the one investigation she hasn't been able to talk her way out of. With that hanging over her and threatening to derail the McCain campaign, a second major revelation broke last night, one that probably won't change any hearts or minds about the Republican VP candidate...

Palin's power-crazed tenure as the very popular Governor of a heavily Republican state has seen a pattern of ethical lapses and outright abuses of power, topped by this one: According to an Associated Press investigation, Palin is believed to have:

1) charged the state of Alaska for expenses incurred, including airline tickets, to transport her children to their father's snowmobile race.

2) amended her expense reports to falsely claim the children (and the family, of course) were actually on these kinds of outings as part of "state business."

3) charged the state for a trip to New York she took with Bristol that including a five-day stay in a high-priced hotel... all for a five-hour leadership conference in the city that took place on only one of those days.

4) when reporters began inquiries as part of this investigation, Palin allegedly ordered unspecified reports altered, usually adding either "First Family attending" or "First Family invited" in an attempt to justify the presence of her family even when the family had not been requested by event organizers.

It was also noted that Palin's tax records has already raised questions because the family did not report its reimbursed travel costs as income.

The article is rather extensive and includes expanded meditations on these allegations. Read it in its entirety here.

Meanwhile, Palin is expected to give a deposition in the Troopergate investigation at Friday's hearing.

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Debate #4: McCain Blinks, Misses His Chance

If You're A Liberal And Terrified Your Vote Won't Count...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

...you won't want to watch this... or read this horror story from West Virginia (who would've thought, just six months ago, West Virginia would be this fierce?)

1) The horror show... this is former NRCC head Tom Davis at the National Press Club, answering a question from the audience about whether the GOP is going to be up to their usual tricks this time around. Remember: this is a GOP-friendly reporter asking a fellow GOPer if the GOP is going to put the band back together, as it were. The response is the most frightening political thing we've seen since Wally O'Dell, the guy in charge of many of Ohio's voting machines in 2004, said he was "committed to delivering [the state's] electoral votes to George Bush."

Note that it isn't so much what he says but how he says it... and the almost sinister laugh from the room. It's the closest thing we've ever seen to the media admitting the GOP is disgracefully and possibly illegally purging voters.

2) In case you think we're exaggerating or even, somehow, imagining that this hasn't been going on for years, here's another classic example:

Virginia Matheney and Calvin Thomas said touch-screen machines in the county clerk's office in Ripley kept switching their votes from Democratic to Republican candidates.

"When I touched the screen for Barack Obama, the check mark moved from his box to the box indicating a vote for John McCain," said Matheney...

When she reported the problem, she said, the poll worker in charge "responded that everything was all right. It was just that the screen was sensitive and I was touching the screen too hard. She instructed me to use only my fingernail."

Even after she began using her fingernail, Matheney said, the problem persisted.

She isn't the only one. The Charleston Gazette has reported that West Virginia is experiencing these problems all over, with election officials attributing the malfunction to "shifting" that occasionally occurs in transporting the machines to the polling sites. No one, of course, had an explanation for why there were all changing only Democratic votes.

More here. Image via Mother Jones.

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New Orleans Politician Arrested While Getting-- How Perfect-- A Lap Dance

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:01:00 GMT

Our idiot of the day is State Senator Derrick Shepherd, who was busted for assaulting and robbing his ex-girlfriend at his house (which he claims isn't his house), while getting what officers figured was a lap dance...

1) In the wee hours of Saturday morning, Shepherd, who represents a district in Louisiana's Jefferson Parish, began throwing rocks at his ex-girlfriend's bedroom window (according to the unproven claim by the ex, of course.) When his ex made the huge mistake of letting him in, he thanked her for her courtesy by punching her in the stomach.

2) The ex then locked herself in a second floor room. Most guys would get the hint by now, but not this Senator: he fought valiantly for her attentions, damaging the door in the process. Somehow, the ex subsequently escaped from the house, but...

3) ...for some insane reason, decided not to go for help, reentered the house and "shoved," she says, Shepherd out of it. That was when she discovered that her cell phone and $100 was missing.

4) Cops showed up a little while later at an address they knew to be Shepherd's. Shepherd, you should know, has been fighting charges that he does not legally reside in the district he represents. (The house where the police found him at, which everyone knows is his full-time residence, is actually three miles outside the district, which would make him ineligible for the seat.)

5) The cops enter and find two unidentified women (hookers? strippers? transvestite stripper hookers? what, tell us!) plus Shepherd on the couch. One of the women is performing the act that Tila Tequila is failing to do in the above picture. The NOPD arrest Shepherd.

Okay, this is all fine and dandy so far, but where's the payoff? Not to worry, we won't let you down:

6) The article goes on to state that

the [missing] phone was later found at Shepherd's home when he was arrested. [The ex apparently] sustained abrasions to her left wrist and her lower abdomen.
In April, Shepherd was indicted by a federal grand jury on five criminal charges, including mail fraud, conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud, and conspiracy to commit money laundering. Prosecutors say he fabricated records at his law office to give unlicensed bond broker Gwen Moyo access to $141,000 in checks written to one of her companies whose accounts were frozen by the state Department of Insurance. He kept about $65,000 and returned the rest to Moyo and her associates. About $20,000 of that amount was used to pay campaign debt, according to the indictment.
In his comments to reporters Sunday morning, Shepherd responded to the newest charges by saying he can take it if people criticize him, but it's a different matter if people threaten his mother or sister.
"The only thing I'm guilty of is not calling the police first myself," he said.

Ah, the old They Insulted My Mother sympathy trick! We haven't seen this since police started laughing criminals into custody for this one a hundred years ago. Since then, most people are intelligent enough to either keep their mouths shut or come up with a better excuse.

Please don't resign (yet), Senator Shepherd. You're keeping us highly entertained...

Via NOLA.com.

Italy's Prime Minister Accused of "Pimping Out" Young Starlets

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:49:00 GMT

Mara Carfagna, we shit you not, is a member of the Italian cabinet.

Have you guys been following the meteoric rise, breathtaking fall, and meteoric rise of Italy's Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi? The 71-year-old king(pin) has been carrying on the good name of Italian politics for many years now, and this latest story of corruption, "pimping," and extramarital affairs with other politicians is but one of many sensational highlights...

Here's the rundown:

1) Italian prosecutors suspect Berlusconi of corruption, so they decide to tap his phone.

2) Berlusconi, who is married, is heard to say "inappropriate" and "raunchy" remarks about "the most glamorous" politician in Italy, "Mara Carfagna, the 32-year-old Minister for Equal Opportunities... a former model and television showgirl." Berlusconi reportedly remarked on an earlier recording that he would marry Carfagna if he was only single. His wife responded with a memorable public outcry.

3) On another recording, the Prime Minister

pressuring Agostino Sacca, head of drama at the state-owned RAI broadcaster, to give parts to several attractive young actors.
In one exchange, Mr Sacca promised Mr Berlusconi that he would find work for Elena Russo. Mr Berlusconi tells him: "If you can do me this favour, it's as if you're doing it for her. But you're doing this favour directly for me." Mr Berlusconi also described the actors and dancers whom he admires as his "little butterflies".

4) The outrage has been unanimous and brutal. One politico noted that Bill Clinton's sex scandal was bad enough, but at least he didn't make "Monica Lewinsky... Secretary of State."

Antonio di Pietro, a former prosecutor and now the leader of the small centre-left Italy of Values party, accused Mr Berlusconi of being a "pimp" who is "busy finding work for showgirls" rather than playing the role of a statesman.

5) Berlusconi promised to do an interview in which he would lash out against this kind of "porn politics," but canceled at the last minute.

6) Calling judges and others that leak to the press "a 'cancer' on democracy," the PM pushed a law through the legislature that specifically imprisons journalists who publish recorded phone calls before trials where those calls are used as evidence.

7) On Wednesday, Berlusconi will learn whether he is to be tried for corruption. If he does end up facing a judge, there will likely be a flood of new recordings in the papers...

Via The Australian: Berlusconi Accused of Pimping His "Butterflies"

More photos of Mara here.

Latest McCain Supporter Scandal Will Boggle Your Mind

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 16:12:00 GMT

John McCain. Can we all agree he is going to carry on the Bush legacy of boneheaded remarks, thinking Vladimir Putin is the President of Germany, and associating himself with lunatic party stalwarts?

At least McCain knows how to play politics-- following extremely offensive comments made by Clayton Williams, who was about to host a six-figure fundraiser for the Senator, McCain canceled his appearance and...

Well... you're probably going to shake your head when you hear what McCain did... but you're totally gonna freak when you hear what Williams said to start this whole mess...

According to a left-wing website called The Jed Report:

Yesterday, John McCain cancelled his attendance at a fundraiser with Clayton Williams, who gave the following advice to rape victims: "As long as it's inevitable, you might as well lie back and enjoy it."

But it turns out that Williams had already raised $300,000 for McCain -- and now McCain says he is keeping it all.

What he should do is take that $300,000 and donate it to a violence against women crisis and prevention center.

We've certainly heard a boatload about "Barack Hussein Obama and Reverend Jeremiah Wright," but do we ever hear anything these days about "John McCain and Pastor Hagee" or "John McCain and Clayton Williams?" All are supporters of their respective candidates, all said explosive, offensive, even racist things and were subsequently exiled from the campaigns, but which offender is still on the news, almost daily, chastised over and over?

Ha... "liberal" media...

Via liberal media outlet the Jed Report.

Optical Illusion Reveals Either Our Corrupted Mind Or Someone Else's Creepy Sexual Shame

Bryan Christian — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 15:00:00 GMT

Apparently, if you're a child -- an innocent flower of youth -- you will look at this picture and see a bunch of dolphins, and not the softcore, doggie style action that we know you're actually catching. Pretty cool, right? Yeah, we thought so, until we read the enthusiastically capped caption for the page...

OK then! We'll just be over here scrubbing our genitals with rocks.

Corrupted Mind