Scanner : cooking

Giada De Laurentiis: Still Not Doing Food Porn

Emily Farris — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 15:17:00 GMT

Giada De Laurentiis: "I'm Not Doing Porn"

Emily Farris — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 16:06:00 GMT

What exactly does the Food Network's Giada De Laurentiis bring to the table? Whatever it is, it's not sex, according to the foodie.

While she can't describe exactly what it is (except that it's not sex, remember), it's something that other TV chefs just can't do.

“Porn? I’m not doing porn! What the hell are people talking about? [It’s not] PBS-style cooking. I mean, I love Lidia [Bastianich], but [she’s] kind of boring. And Mario Batali [I] love to death…but he’s not romantic or sensual. Those are the things I bring to the table.”

Batali is more our type than De Laurentiis, but after watching this clip, we're definitely not thinking about pizza:

[PageSix via Grub Street]

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Food We Want To Lick: Candidate Lollipops

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:48:00 GMT

Made by hand... sugar and syrup... a little artificial flavor is added...

Assembled into a large blob... dabbed with a bit of color... layered with very thin slices and sealed up...

This could be a very apt description for the candidates running for President in the United States of America, circa 2008. Fortunately for you and your taste buds, this is merely a description of the process by which voting and candidate lollipops are made by Kai's Candies...

Drool over them, we're not judgmental... including the goofy-looking Obama one...

Later in August they’ll have a set for John McCain that features a lollipop with his face plus red elephant candies.

We're not sure licking John McCain is an appealing idea, although if the candy is as delicious as the above lollipop looks, we might be able to close our eyes and enjoy. But what does it actually taste like, you must be wondering...

Kai’s Candy has a nice post on their blog that shows photos of the process.

In the case of Kai’s Candies, the background is a translucent candy instead of an opaque color, which adds to the appeal of these, like they’re enamel.
The flavor is light. The website says that Obama is lemon-lime, but at times it tastes like a sweet banana or simply boiled sugar. There’s absolutely no hint of tartness to it, or even any zest. I found that the individual pieces were similarly bland. (I found McCain bitter, but that’s probably the red food coloring.)

How ironic-- McCain is a red.

Via Candy Blog.

Kate Beckinsale Would Much Rather F*ck Than Cook

Emily Farris — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 17:37:00 GMT

Actress Kate Beckinsale says she can't be bothered to cook, but that she totally makes up for it in the bedroom.

Except we have just one little problem with her argument.

She tells British magazine Glamour, "I'm the worst wife in the cooking department. I always thought you can't be good at food and sex, but you can always order the food in."

We think a gentleman or two around Brooklyn might disagree that one absolutely can be good at both, but we totally support the fact that not everyone likes to cook.

And like Beckinsale said, "I'd rather he didn't order in the sex."

[IMDB: Beckinsale Prefers Sex To Cooking]

Related:

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[Image]

Rachael Ray Sex Tape Best YouTube Parody In Ages

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:15:00 GMT

Rachael started to get us very excited and so we were ultimately disturbed by this audio clip from the sex tape Rachael Ray made before she was famous.

NSFW, but too funny to miss. You will also probably lose your (sexual) appetite for the duration of the day, so please listen with earplugs fully enabled, like Odysseus if the sirens were screeching TV "chefs" with giant teeth.

Losers of The Day: Dunkin' Donuts

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 29 May 2008 14:10:00 GMT

Scanner Emily alerted you to the Rachael Ray ad fiasco that came to light yesterday. But we can't let the story go that easily, since there is a political element to this and now, thanks to us, a boycott of Dunkin' Donuts in the works...

First, let's take a look at the photo evidence, if you can call it that:

The above screenshot is from a Dunkin' Donuts ad that Rachael Ray appeared in recently, an image which did not go over well with Fox News, Michelle Malkin, and the rest of the right-wing do-gooder community. But what was it about this ad and this image that upset them so much?

Apparently, it's Rachael's poor fashion choice. Her black-and-white scarf, insignificant to the average eye, was spotted immediately by Fox News and others for what it really is: a terrorist beacon.

The scarf, or keffiyeh if you are a Republican crusader, "...has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad. Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos.

"The apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant and not-so-ignorant fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons."

If that's the case, genius, and the keffiyeh is defined the way you see it (which, thankfully, it's not) then you must also include Lawrence of Arabia, the innocent citizens of Iraq, Trent Reznor, and those Saudi Arabians your President loves so much. That's right, George Bush coddles terrorists in the Middle East. We said it first.

Dunkin', for their part, first disputed the offensiveness of the ad, saying, You people are goddamned idiots and should be run out of town like Joe Fucking McCarthy, eventually caved to The Stupids and issued the following press release:

"Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial."

They were afraid of a boycott or something? Well, they're certainly getting one now...

Via SFGate.

Previously: Sloppy Seconds...

Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Gordon Ramsay vs. Bobby Flay?

Emily Farris — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:51:00 GMT

Hell's Kitchen with Ramsay or a Throwdown with Flay?

As far as we here at Scanner are concerned (and by "we" I mean me, Scanner Emily), there is nothing sexier than a man who knows his way around the kitchen. The only thing that could possibly be sexier is if said man also knows his way around the female body, is brilliant, and has a beard. While neither of this week's Who Would You Rather? contestants regularly sport facial hair (probably more hygienic that way), both have complete control of their kitchens and are brilliant at what they do. We can only hope they know how to handle a female body as well as they can handle a lamb shank, you know, minus the cutting.

So, which celebrity chef would you rather have cook you dinner and then help you burn off the calories in bed: Gordon Ramsay or Bobby Flay?

Scanner Emily's full disclosure: I'm a Flay girl, all the way, and not only because he contributed an Eggplant Parmesan recipe to my upcoming cookbook. He's just so damn cute. And "Boy Meets Grill?" Come on!

Scanner Highs and Lows: Michael McDonald Still Hasn't Called

Emily Farris — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 22:01:00 GMT

Damn, this was a busy week. We fell in and out of love, we traveled, we encountered racism, and as always, we saw some boobs. Oh, and story of our lives: he never called.

Highs:

Susan Sarandon's boobs.

A sandwich that we want to make love to (even if we might throw up a little after).

You can now get a double dildo in Texas!

If you like "The Wire," you'll love "Wire You Laughing?"

Coolio has a cooking show and we want in on that shit.

Michael Musto does Lindsay Lohan's Marilyn Monroe... a little better, if you ask us.

A pro-Barack Obama video not made by Will.I.Am.

Ellen Page might have come out on Saturday Night Live. Or maybe not.

Lows:

As much as we'd like to think otherwise, we learned that Kansas City—Scanner Emily's hometown, which is in Missouri—is still a little racist.

Women running in high heels to prove that "shopping is a sport."

At least we get something out of bad movies: great reviews.

We're not sure if this is actually a good or bad thing, but Italian men are being fined for grabbing their crotches in public.

Outer Space can suck it. So there.

Can we just wrap-up this Democratic primary already?

Michael McDonald never called Scanner Emily. We're still waiting!

We learned that Hooters will survive the apocalypse.