Scanner : child porn

This Week in Gayness: Men's Magazines

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:01:00 GMT

For the first time ever, Britain's poet laureate is a woman. Oh, and she just happens to be a lesbian.

If this Dr. Phil show turns out to be as offensive as the participant search comes off, you'll have yet another reason to hate that guy.

This is another one to send hate mail to: Rep. Virginia Foxx, R-N.C., the dumbass who called Matthew Shepard's murder a "hoax" and claims it was a robbery and not a hate crime, has been very vocal about stopping hate crime legislation in Congress. Shepard, you may recall,"was tied crucifixion-style to a fence, repeatedly pistol whipped and left for dead."

The good news is there are fewer known child porn sites on the web. Bad news? They've gotten more disgusting overall.

Here's one for ya: a lesbian was asked not to attend prom hand-in-hand with her girlfriend because it might bring unwanted media attention. When that came because of the principal's ignorant decision, she then tried to enforce a nonexistent dress code demanding both women wear dresses. We're not sure of the result.

India's only homosexual men's magazine has returned.

The next battle in Iowa will be over birth certificates.

And on Iowa's first day of legalized gay marriage, over 300 couples applied for licenses. Let's hope very few of them are nutjobs intent on causing big scenes by trying to marry their dogs or something.

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18-Year-Old Boy Arrested in Most Bizarre Sex Tape Bust Yet

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 21:38:00 GMT

A teenage boy, already a defiant smartass to the media that's hounding him outside his home and high school, has been charged with sexual exploitation in a case that's sure to garner national attention.

But it was an individual who wasn't even a participant in the act that has caused the biggest scandal the state of Tennessee has seen in years...

Deandra Woodall is accused of videotaping teenagers, including himself, engaged in a threesome, without the female victim's permission. The female, by the way, is 15-years-old. Woodall allegedly took the camera phone he recorded the menage a trois with to school and began showing it around class, boasting about his work as if it was his own performance on screen. Of course, word immediately traveled to the assistant principal, who tore him a new a-hole... before confiscating the phone.

Here's where it gets all scandalous in a hurry: the assistant principal himself committed a far worse crime than any so far in our story. First, he downloaded the copy to his work computer and deleted the original file. Next, he began showing other random people the hot sex going on in the grainy video, probably yukking it up at the poor kids' expense. And finally, and here's what makes this so incredible, he never notified the police, higher ups, or the parents of any of the children involved. He was only discovered after rumors continued to swirl.

Now Terence Bobo faces charges of tampering with evidence and sexual exploitation of a minor, while the boy is charged with the latter. His reaction to reporters flinging desperate questions about his fate: "I like your hair, just take that down on your notepad."

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This Teenage Sex Tape Craze Is Getting Out of Hand...

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 16:28:00 GMT

And you thought it had gone too far when those two kids were arrested for making a sex tape of a consenting couple...

According to the Associated Press in Florida:

The Monroe County Sheriff's office has charged 10 teens from the Florida Keys with making child pornography after detectives confiscated a videotape of a 16-year-old runaway girl having sex with a 19-year-old man.
Authorities said the investigation started when a 14-year-old runaway told a school resource officer that she was worried her friend -- the girl having sex on the tape -- had been raped. The girl who appeared in the video denied being raped.
The teens, seven boys and three girls age 13 to 19, face charges of sexual performance by a child, a second-degree felony. Eight of the 10 were arrested Wednesday; the other two are out of town and will be arrested when they return.

Okay, one to operate the camera... another to hold the boom... my, this is a serious production now. So, we gotta ask, what were the other half-dozen participants doing during all this? Your suspicions, in the comments...

Via AP/ABC News.

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Teenage Girl Sues Her Father For Grounding Her, Wins

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:52:00 GMT

A 12-year-old girl (now apparently 13) sued her father in 2008 for denying her permission to attend a class trip because she was grounded. According to the father, the child had been using the internet at his house after being instructed not to. He claims the girl was visiting sites he had previously blocked and possibly sharing pornographic images of herself.

This is a no-brainer, right? But this textbook example of a frivolous lawsuit not only wasn't thrown out, it's gone through one initial trial and an appeal, both of which resulted in the girl coming out ahead. How is this even possible?

Of course, there is a lot more to this story. Even the original CBC reporter who wrote extensively about the case neglected to mention the bitter (and I mean BITTER) divorce proceedings. The mother, it is alleged, heard about the grounding and decided she would pay for the trip herself, chaperone, and help the girl sue her father with the help of her mother's attorney. (Of course, you could look at it another way-- perhaps the mother was into the trip before the grounding, so the father found and excuse to mess with them.) Either way, this child is being manipulated by one or both awful parents-- and, even worse, the idiot judge let all proceed as if there were a real case here. Instead, he should have fined both parents $100,000 and taken the kid away from them. Okay, that's a little harsh, we admit-- $100,000 US is like $8 billion Canadian.

Seriously, though, check out what judicial jackass (i.e. the winning attorney) had to say about this:

"Going to court was a last resort," said Lucie Fortin, a legal aid attorney who represented the girl. "The question was that there was a problem between the father and the mother, and the child asked the court to intervene because it was important to her.

"The trip was very important to her."

The last resort? The last resort for us would've been for a compromise and the girl to lose internet at his house for six months but still go on the trip. Maybe. "The trip was very important to her?" Then maybe she shouldn't have used the internet after being instructed not to. For all the punishments we endured as kids, almost every one of them was because we broke a rule we knew better than to break. Tough. Shit. Girl.

The father and mother are no longer speaking, by the way. And so we move on into the 21st century, having learned so little...

Via CBC.

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Shockingly, This Teacher Did Something Inappropriate to Students

Colleen Kane — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 21:06:00 GMT

Allegedly.

Louis Levine, a Tennessee science teacher, was arrested this morning for producing child pornography.

Levine's house has an outbuilding outfitted with a waterbed, booze, marijuana, and lots of hidden cameras. Kids have gone there since as far back as the '80s and Levine has videotaped the results. Hundreds of videotapes of those results were found in Levine's bedroom.

He's now facing federal charges due to something that sounds like a technicality: "under a provision for interstate and foreign commerce, because the video camera and tapes he used were made in Japan."

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14-Year-Old Girl Arrested For Possession of Child Pornography

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:54:00 GMT

A fourteen-year-old New Jersey girl faces up to 17 years in prison and lifetime membership into the Sex Offenders registry after police found her to be in possession of child pornography, including some graphic, full-frontal nude photos.

Of course, there's much more to the story than just that...

A message like the one seen above now takes up most of the unidentified girl's MySpace Pictures folder. It is believed, based on early reports, that the teen posted more than two dozen nude photos of herself to her profile, mainly for her boyfriend to see. How anyone could still think they're going to get away with this with all the buzz about people being arrested for sexting is beyond us. Why anyone would post the photos on a public profile with the intent of one person seeing them is way beyond our capacity of understanding. Which is why the only explanation is that this girl is too young to know any better, and therefore, she should not be going through this:

The teen, whose name has not been released because of her age, was arrested and charged with possession of child pornography and distribution of child pornography. She was released to her mother's custody.
If convicted of the distribution charge, she would be forced to register with the state as a sex offender under Megan's Law, said state Attorney General Anne Milgram. She also could face up to 17 years in jail, though such a stiff sentence is unlikely.

You'll note that Milgram is not saying, "Wait a minute, the pictures are of herself? And she's only 16? Um, yeah, we'll be knocking this down a misdemeanor, no question." Idiot.

Meanwhile, the mother whose daughter is the basis for Megan's Law said the girl should absolutely not be prosecuted. This is really a no-brainer, New Jersey. Taking the photos down and giving her a severe reprimand would have been enough...

More via the Associated Press/Google.

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Sloppy Seconds: What Do Sarah Palin And Tom Cruise Have In Common?

Ina Maier — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 22:55:00 GMT

Natasha Richardson's autopsy report has been released and the cause of death is an epidural hematoma, in other words: hitting her head. Remember kids, please wear a helmet!

Speaking of advice, watch out for spiders in Whole Foods. Apparently the world's deadliest kind like to hang out in the produce section.

Signs the economy is really in the crapper: Tom Sizemore steals cell phones and a Rhode Island strip club is hosting a job fair.

Cheer up, though -- at the very least, you're better off than Project Runway's Kenley Collins, who is hanging out in a Brooklyn jail after attacking her sleeping ex-fiance with "her pet cat, water, several apples and laptop."

You can also sleep more soundly than Collins' ex-fiance because cellar monster Josef Fritzl has been found guilty on all counts and will be spending the rest of his life in a psychiatric unit.

Lastly, and somewhat most terrifyingly: Sarah Palin is seeking the advice of an OT-VII level (the cult's second most powerful level) Scientologist in preparation for her 2012 presidential run. Yes.

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Teen Boy and His Friends Busted for Sending Nude Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 16:53:00 GMT

Picture this scenario: Your friend sends you a pornographic birthday card as a joke. When you look closely at the photo, you realize the nude model on the card is borderline jailbait, but you decide to simply toss the card and be done with it. The next thing you know, you're under arrest for possession of child pornography.

Think that's unfair? Then wait till you hear what happened to a group of underage boys who sent each other a photo of an underage girl...

According to the local news in Falmouth (is that pronounced "foul mouth?"), Massachusetts, a boy between twelve and fourteen years photographed his thirteen-year-old girlfriend in the nude. That's crime #1-- the police consider it child pornography, even thought, um, they're both children. (We've discussed this legal condundrum many times on Scanner, so let's move on.) Then, and here's the part we never understand, the boy sends the photo to all his friends, apparently never having heard of "junior high school," which mandates everyone shares everything with everyone. Of course, soon enough, tons of people had the photo and six boys are under arrest for possession of child porn. Some friend this kid was-- and we hope his girlfriend dumps his sorry ass for being a lame showoff and possibly ruining her life.

By the way, how sad is it that we're charging children with posession of child pornography? They're not perverts if they're the same age as the girls they're ogling...

Via WHDH.

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Today in WTF: Man Has Sex with or in a Dumpster

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:45:00 GMT

The Journal Times in Racine, Wisconsin ran a story today about a 39-year-old man who was busted for "performing a sex act" in a dumpster. Steven Marcsis, as the paper was too "family friendly" to make clear, was most likely masturbating. In the dumpster.

And it gets much, much weirder...

1) Marcsis was only found because he thought it might be a good idea to put the lid on the dumpster so no kids would see him jerking off in there. A police officer noticed that it was weird that the dumpster was closed and, remembering the string of recent burglaries at the school, thought someone might be hiding in there... whoops.

2) For some reason, Marcsis told the police officers he was the (proud?) owner of child porn, so the cops went to his house, which is actually his mother's home, and found the addresses and birth dates of hundreds of schoolgirls who had passed through the school's sports programs. Apparently, Romeo was going to look them all up when they turned 18, right? Oh, and that child porn is totally unrelated to the matter, as his attorney will surely argue...

3) This is the first case in ages where, instead of grandstanding and rushing through a trial that sees the nut sentenced to 100 years in solitary confinement, the court has ordered the accused to undergo a competency evaluation before deciding whether he should stand trial. Many a zealous judge and prosecutor forget that ol' saying from somewhere... "forgive them... for they know not what they do."

Via The Journal Times.

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While You Were Sleeping: The Fox News Child Porn Bust

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

If the grading system had been abandoned at our high schools, we might have gotten into some better universities.

PJ Harvey is coming to America! Who's buying us a ticket?

Who is Hollywood's most bankable star? Will Smith, followed by a host of males: Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, and-- well-- Brad Pitt's significant other.

Male police officers were punished for taking pictures of themselves at a sizeable party-- each cop was naked and holding a firearm.

Hillary Clinton is bored, wants you to e-mail her. Send her some Scanner links, see what happens.

Have you guys been following the Duff-Dunaway feud? Us neither.

And the Fox News producer arrested for possession of child porn was actually arrested ten years ago for the same crime, and subsequently dropped out of college in Michigan because of it.

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Enterprising Teenager Amasses Collection of Solicited Nude Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 14:44:00 GMT

If you were to read only that headline, you would be forgiven for mistaking this tale for one of those "heartwarming" Good Morning America segments about the teens that turn their jewelery hobbies into multimillion-dollar online businesses.

Unfortunately, that's decidedly not the case with this creepy story...

According to a local AP report out of the Milwaukee, Wisconsin area, an eighteen-year-old boy named Anthony Stanci is in cuffs today, charged with "five counts of child enticement, two counts of second-degree sexual assault of a child, two counts of third-degree sexual assault, possession of child pornography, repeated sexual assault of the same child, and making a bomb threat."

And what did he do, except for that last charge, to warrant such a rap? He started a Facebook account and pretended to be a hot teenage girl, then got more than 30 (that is, 30 known) male victims to send him nude photos of themselves. When they did so, he stayed in character and threatened to take the pics to the proper adults-- and/or forward them widely over the internet-- if they did not comply with "her" demands to see the boys have sex with another boy-- Anthony Stanci, as it turns out.

Several of the boys actually went through with it. This went on for several months, until Stanci took things too far-- he concluded this sick sexual game wasn't enough to get back at his high school, so he called in a bomb threat that shut down classes. That's when the cops decided to snoop into sicko boy's background.

The maximum penalty if convicted on all charges is nearly 300 years in prison. [AP]

Stanci is facing a very rough life in prison, regardless of the length of his sentence-- an eighteen-year-old homosexual convicted of raping boys is about the worst imaginable setup for an inmate...

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Cutest Thing Ever? Or Yet Another Sign America Is Going Down The (You)Tubes?

Ina Maier — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:14:00 GMT

Let's face it: Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" may or may not be the song of the decade. We all wanna dance to it, we all wish we looked as good in a leotard, and we all can't get the damn song out of our heads. Enter little Arianna, the small child of an indeterminate age who's got Beyonce's Single Ladies dance routine down pat.

So, what do you think? Is Arianna the cutest thing ever? Or is she a walking warning sign for the dangers of over-zealous parents pimping out their children on YouTube for child-porn and pedophiles?

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Mom Films Her Boyfriend Having Sex with Her 13-Year-Old Daughter

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 20:55:00 GMT

The Sun reports today on the case of a 46-year-old Perth, Australia mom (well, until they take the daughter away from her, of course) who allegedly videotaped a 29-year-old man having sex with the mom's thirteen-year-old daughter.

And the video might have stayed under wraps, had the man not blackmailed another woman, a victim of his internet stalking...

Cops allege the girl's mother was also involved in the video and will appear in court next week.
She faces 19 sex offence charges.
The man has appeared before magistrates accused of having sex with the 13-year-old and recording the acts.
The man has been charged with more than 150 counts of distributing child pornography and having sex with an underage girl and was granted bail today.

Good Lord, did some Billionaire put up an island as collateral? How the hell was his bail low enough that he was able to meet it? One hundred and fifty counts-- and this doesn't even include the stalking, it seems.

The crimes came to light when early last month police say they received a complaint from another woman who said she was being stalked on the internet.
Perth policeman Sgt Greg Lambert said: "An unknown person was sending her emails that contained naked pictures of herself in the shower."
"The woman was threatened that the pictures would be posted on the web if she reported the matter."

When the po-po dropped by the idiot perv's house to check his computer, they found his exploitative video and probably beat the shit out of him. At least, we hope they did... although, if not, we're sure his future inmates will know what to do with this creep.

Via the Sun and News.com.au.

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Teenage Boy Busted For Receiving A Nude Picture Message

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:38:00 GMT

Here's one for the ages: a thirteen-year-old boy has been busted for possession of child pornography after a female classmate sent him a nude cell phone photo...

The boy, a student at Sanger Middle School in Denton County, Texas, was arrested, kept in a detention facility overnight, and suspended from school after he received the unsolicited message. As one parent put it, "He doesn't know what a felony means. He doesn't understand what pornography means." His mother added, "He's a 13-year-old child. He's in middle school. He's supposed to be out there having fun, hanging out and playing football, which he loves to do. Instead, he's having to sit at home with mom and dad."

Notice Mom isn't at all concerned, it seems, about the fact that her son is getting nude photos from middle school girls he knows. Of course, if he doesn't know what porn is, he's probably not having sex either, so maybe their lack of concern is appropriate. (However, and though we'd rather defend than prosecute this kid, he probably should have deleted the photo right away, especially since school officials caught on and warned everyone to delete any inappropriate photos immediately. After all, he does live in Texas-- we wouldn't be surprised if he was tried as an adult, sentenced for four hundred years in jail, then watch as the sentence is "commuted" to immediate execution by firing squad. Just kidding.)

Read more about the case here. UPDATE: Just to be clear, the above photo is of a model for a porn site... at least, that's what a porn site has claimed. See my comment below...

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Mom Sent 12,000+ Texts To Her Daughter's Ex-Boyfriend... Then Tried To Blackmail Him

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 15:45:00 GMT

Yes, we pretty much summed this one up in the headline... but you know there are thousands of these a day and if we're printing it, you know there's a lot of devil in these details...

An unnamed Illinois woman is being investigated for harassment, child pornography, and blackmail after her daughter's ex-boyfriend's family contacted the police. Wait till you a) find out what the unnamed woman does for a living and b) how old these kids are...

1) Police seized computers and cell phones from the woman's Elgin, Illinois home and her place of business. (We'll get to that momentarily.)

2) Police claim the woman sent approximately 12,302 text messages-- wait, how did they count them all?!-- just in the first seven months of the year to her daughter's ex-boyfriend. The boy's family waited all the way until August before contacting the cops. W... T... F?

3) When the harassment didn't work, the woman and her son, defending his sister's honor, threatened to release nude photos of they boy on the internet if he didn't see the dumpee "twice a week."

4) The strong-willed ex-boyfriend's age? A whopping thirteen-years-old. It takes some serious self-determination to not cave to that kind of harassment and blackmail, especially since it took so long to go to the police. (Either this girl was insane herself or this guy is our new personal breakup hero for his determination.)

5) Here's the best part. As the Chicago Tribune article reveals at its conclusion:

On Sept. 23, the woman left a message warning the boy she would "send the pictures and video of him to his teacher and minister to show them he is not a nice person," the search warrant stated.

Oh, and this mother's job at the school? She's a teacher.

God, we love Chicago.

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Sloppy Seconds: Ron Wood's Mistress In The Buff

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:39:00 GMT

Mrs. Corey Feldman's Playboy shoot and more, after the jump...

If you have a belly button finish, you'll probably be pissed to learn you missed Japan's navel-gazing fest.

Your worst nightmare: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are leaving Hollywood... and may be moving to Your Neighborhood.

Don't worry if you missed the orgy, it didn't turn out to be that great a time.

That nutjob who shot two people during a church performance of "Annie?" His motive wasn't he didn't like liberals. We hope Rush Limbaugh gets sued for wrongful death or ends up going crazy like Jeff Bridges in The Fisher King. Bastards.

Ron Wood, guitar player and real genius behind the current Rolling Stones lineup, almost left his wife of twenty-three-years but luckily got his act together and checked into rehab. The reason he lost his way:

A Democratic legislator from New Jersey has resigned after child porn was found on his computer. His office computer.

An Obama supporter "accidentally" made buttons with the Senator and another famous member of the Chamber: Larry Craig.

Brad Pitt declared war on the stalkers who take photographs of him.

And Susie Feldman, Corey's wife, has done a large Playboy spread that already has the internet hyperventilating. At least in porn land...

The rest of the shoot can be found here.

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Ex-Diplomat On Trial For Child Sex: It's Okay To Have Sex With Kids

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Gons G. Nachman, which he swears is his real name, pleaded guilty in Virginia a few months back to possessing child pornography. Now his trial has taken an interesting twist after he made what some people think is an outrageous claim...

[The] ex-diplomat convicted of having sex with teenage girls in the Congo and Brazil and taping the encounters is asking a judge for leniency, claiming that cultural differences in those countries make sex with girls more acceptable.
[H]e had sex with 14- to 17-year-old girls while serving as a consular officer in Brazil and Congo and documenting the encounters in pictures and videos.

Of course, before anyone gets too pissed off, remember that 14**, 15, 16, 17 are all ages of consent in various American states. (Although, it should be pointed out, these laws are mostly designed to protect teenagers who have younger sex partners from prosecution; in other words, in most states, adults over 18 cannot have sex with a person under 18; whereas, for example, a 14 year old guy can have sex with a 17 year old girl in some states and neither one will be charged.)

The trial is postponed while Nachman undergoes a psychiatric evaluation. We doubt a Federal judge is going to go easy on a guy just because "things are different in [his] country." That argument has never worked before, but this is the American justice system we're talking about....

Via News-Observer.

**technically, although in this case it would probably be illegal

Creepy Online Predators Learning From Perverted Teens

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 13:31:00 GMT

It seems child porn lovers have learned a new trick from the teenage nude picture message craze.

New York prosecutors say a man posing online as a teenage boy induced underage girls to send him nude pictures of themselves and one girl's 9-year-old sister and threatened to show the images to one girl's parents if she didn't send him more.
Philip Hawthorne was awaiting arraignment Thursday on charges including use of a child in a sexual performance. Queens prosecutors say they don't know if he has a lawyer.
Prosecutors say the 27-year-old propositioned two girls ages 13 and 14 over the last eight months.
They say he moved from his mother's house in Queens to his father's in Norwich, Conn., in May after investigators started asking questions. He was arrested July 2 in Norwich.
Hawthorne's mother won't comment. His father has no listed telephone number.

Looks like Mama's Boy upset Mama, Mama kicked his ass out... and maybe should've cooperated with investigators before another couple of kids got hurt. But that's American parenting for you (of course, if you're a parent, I'm sure you're not allowing your grown sons to molest children or anything like that... right?)

By the way, this whole "using a child in a sexual performance" thing? Does that mean if a pervert even thinks about a child to get off, they are guilty of a crime? Okay, we're not serious, but that wording sounds a little too Big Brother to us.

Via the News-Times.

Magazine Fights Censorship With Nude Six-Year-Old Cover Girl

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 13:01:00 GMT

An Art Monthly Australia cover that starred a nude six-year-old girl, an attempt to protest child pornography laws that some consider "artist censorship," has been deemed criminal and sent to the Australian Classification board... of censors.

Art Monthly Australia published the photo in response to government raids and the seizures of the photographs of artist Bill Henson, who frequently presents "tasteful" nudes of underage children. The magazine, which receives $50,000 in taxpayer funds every year, is now facing possible collapse after the typical righteous political outcry.

[The issue] also includes several provocative photos of children posing naked in adult jewellery as well as naked teenage girls.

Opposition Leader Barry O'Farrell labelled the publication a "provocative publicity stunt" and called for a review of Arts Council's funding for the magazine.

In the editorial, Maurice O'Riordan said he chose the 2003 picture of the young girl in the "hope of restoring some dignity to the debate" and to "validate nudity and childhood as subjects for art".

The image, taken by Melbourne-based Polixeni Papapetrou, is believed to be her own daughter. [Daily Telegraph]

While we hope that Australians will see right through this political posturing at the expense of creative freedom, we know better than to expect intelligent reactions to any publication that dares to defy community standards.

For more, check out the original story at The Daily Telegraph.

12 Year Old Girl Arrested For Distributing Nude Photo

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:00:00 GMT

A twelve-year-old girl in Westport, CT, which is one of the richest towns in the country, was busted for possession of child pornography. Well, not specifically for child pornography... but technically, the photo of her classmate she had been sending around is illegal child porn, but that's not what the cops nabbed her for...

The investigation began on May 12 when the incident was reported to Westport police after word circulated throughout Coleytown Middle School that a nude snapshot was taken during a video chat and distributed to others.

The authorities, as usual, are skirting the First Amendment by charging her under "disturbing the peace," must as they used the same argument for busting vagrants in the Olden Days. We have a feeling that this is not going to last as a criminal case (if this is a rich family, as we can suspect, given her location, they may get a decent attorney who can get the case thrown out, no?), though, if it's the pictured student who helped launch the investigation, this may turn into an ugly civil suit.

Although, of course, we're pretty sure whoever had their picture taken either a) consented to it or b) may actually not have cared and that it was parents who alerted the police without his/her agreeing to it or c) didn't consent to have his/her image saved and is learning a valuable lesson about internet privacy, end of story.

The girl is being referred to Juvenile Court in Norwalk on a charge of second-degree breach of peace, which involves the distribution of offensive and indecent material.
“In light of how sensitive this case is for all the families involved, I don’t feel it’s appropriate to comment at this time,” said Mark Sherman, an attorney for the girl.

The arrest comes amid growing worries among parents about teenagers snapping naked pictures of themselves on their cell phones and sending them to their boyfriends and girlfriends. Many of the pictures are falling into the wrong hands or being posted on the Internet, leading to criminal charges.

Via The Norwich Bulletin.

R. Kelly is So Screwed

Emily Farris — Fri, 23 May 2008 16:58:00 GMT

A former back-up singer for R. Kelly broke down in the courtroom yesterday after admitting something that will probably get him sent to jail for a long, long time.

Stephanie "Sparkle" Edwards told those in the room that she was the one to introduce Kelly to his, uh, co-star in the now infamous sex tape. And that the girl most certainly was 12 or 13 at the time.

Kelly and the woman believed to be in the tape with him (who is now 23) have both denied making the tape, but like we've mentioned before if the prosecution can prove it's Kelly and the young woman in the tape, he's so screwed (in prison).

Edwards' testimony seems to help the prosecution in a big way, because like she said, "you just know your family."

[Yahoo!: Former backup singer implicates R. Kelly at trial]

[MTV: R. Kelly's Ex-Protege Sparkle Testifies That Girl On Tape Is Her Niece]

R. Kelly Sex Tape: Set to the Tune of the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys

Emily Farris — Wed, 21 May 2008 15:07:00 GMT

We never saw the R. Kelly sex tape when it made the rounds in 2002, so forgive us if we're a little shocked that it's set to the tune of the Spice Girls and the Backstreet Boys. Maybe focusing on that is our brain's way of blocking out the rest of it.

The jurors sure did see the tape yesterday, though. And they'll probably have to see it a few more times because it appears the only way Kelly is going to get off in this case is if the jury decides it's not him in the tape.

Anyway, for those of you lucky enough to have not witnessed it, here's what a jury of 12 of Kelly's peers were forced to endure yesterday:

The roughly 27-minute homemade video shows a man having sex with a young female, who is naked for most of the recording — except for a necklace with a cross dangling from it.

At the start of the videotape, the man hands the female money and she mouths the words, "Thank you." She is often blank-faced, impassive. The man speaks to the female in a hushed, monotone voice, and she calls him "Daddy."

Songs from the Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys blare from a radio. The female dances — the man out of view. Back in view, he has sex with her. The man walks up to the camera to adjust it a few times, but his face is often obscured.

As she dances, the female urinates on the floor. Near the end of the video, the man urinates on the female.

Okay, the peeing we almost get (almost, we said...but we hope the floor wasn't carpeted!) but the Backstreet Boys and the Spice Girls?

Maybe she really was 13, because when we were around that age we decided that we would someday lose our virginity in a candle-filled room with the Girls' "2 Become 1" playing in our purple CD player. If only it would have been like that and not to our manager at Just For Feet (the world's largest athletic shoe store) in his apartment behind the bowling alley.

[Yahoo!: Sex tape shown to jurors, court in R. Kelly Trial]

I Can't Serve on R. Kelly's Jury Because I Believe I Can Fly

Emily Farris — Thu, 15 May 2008 20:23:00 GMT

Is anyone surprised that the judges in R. Kelly's child pornography case had a really, really hard time finding 12 people to sit on the jury? Especially when so many Chicago residents "heart R. Kelly" or support changing the age of consent?

We can't imagine who wouldn't want to sit on this jury, but some people did not. In fact, they came up with some pretty good excuses, including claiming to be a fan of the accused:

"I (heart) R. Kelly."

Nothing gets prospective jurors booted faster than telling the prosecution they are a fan of Kelly's. Just ask the woman who called him a "musical genius." When prodded to say something negative about Kelly, the best she could come up with was: "He and [rapper] Jay-Z don't get along?" Prosecutors bounced her soon after.

The next best way to get out of jury duty is suggest changing the age of consent to puberty:

"I would change the age of consent."
Two who were kicked off offered this philosophy, one going so far as to suggest that "nature already had an age of [sexual] consent: puberty."

If all else fails:

"Please call my mom."

When one juror failed to show up for service, deputies called his house and his mother answered. She told the court that she didn't know where her son was and that he hadn't been "right" since he was shot in the head a while back. The judge and attorneys agreed to let him off the hook.

Even though they apparently have 12 jurors and two alternates, this trial is never happening, is it? And let's face it, if R. Kelly goes to jail we won't get any more Sex in the Kitchen for a long, long time. Are you ready for that reality? We're not.

[Chicago Tribune: Jury now has 12 members, 2 alternates]

[Previously: We'd Give Our Left Nut for a Seat on R. Kelly's Jury, If We Had Nuts]

We'd Give Our Left Nut for a Seat on R. Kelly's Jury, If We Had Nuts

Emily Farris — Mon, 12 May 2008 15:22:00 GMT

Jury selection began for R. Kelly's child pornography case Friday and continues today, and if we had nuts, we'd give our left one for one of those twelve seats. Maybe Scanner Brian or Scanner Bryan would give Scanner Emily a nut so she could sit on the jury? Guys?

Anyway, Kelly's high profile case is obviously making jury selection tough, and as the wise folks at MTV noted, can there possibly be a group of 12 men and women in Chicago who are impartial enough to give the singer a fair trial?

"You either have to say, 'R. Kelly can never get a fair trial here,' or 'R. Kelly can get a fair trial, given the continuing publicity,' " said California defense attorney Steve Cron. "Because when will you ever not have some publicity? It's never going to go away."

Since Kelly is one of Chicago's favorite sons, it's going to be difficult for either side to find anyone unfamiliar with the case. They'd have to be "living under a rock," said Cron, who defended comedian Paula Poundstone on charges of lewd acts on a minor. What they can hope for, however, is to find potential jurors who have not yet made up their mind. Legal experts agree that there really is no such thing as an impartial jury — that every prospective juror brings to the table his or her own biases. The question then becomes: What kind of jurors would each side want? It's not quite as black-and-white as you might think.

"What makes for good TV is if we say, 'We want black,' 'We want white,' 'We want men,' 'We want women,' " Chicago jury consultant and defense attorney Paul Lisnek said. "And those factors do come into play, but what we have to look at is life experience. That's what's going to influence the way they respond to the evidence in the case, not just whether they are of one race or one religion or another. The bottom line is, cases like this trigger certain underlying issues, deep issues about racial prejudice and underage sexual relations."

What if we looked at this a different way? A jury is supposed to be a panel of "peers," right? So what if the jury was made up of celebrities? Paula Poundstone who's been through this before? Maybe a star who's never been in trouble with the law, like Natalie Portman? Lilo? Jamie Lynn Spears if she was old enough to serve jury duty? To keep it balanced would Nancy Grace have sit in?

If you could choose a celebrity jury for R. Kelly, what 12 stars would you choose?

R. Kelly Will Have a Worse Today Than You, Guaranteed

Emily Farris — Fri, 09 May 2008 13:01:00 GMT

Ok, we can almost guarantee that R. Kelly will have a worse day than you, because after six long years of putting it off for this reason or that closet, his child pornography trial will supposedly begin today, as scheduled. But would you believe us if we told you he tried to delay it, yet again?

Because he did. His lawyers claimed that there was already too much media attention surrounding the trial:

Kelly's defense team hopes the judge will delay the proceedings based on their contention that recent news coverage has made it impossible for the singer to have a fair trial. In a sealed motion filed Wednesday, Kelly's attorneys cite weekend stories describing closed-door hearings in which Cook County Judge Vincent Gaughan ruled a woman could testify to having had a three-way sexual encounter with Kelly and the alleged victim in the video tape.

R. (is it okay if we call you "R?"), when the going gets tough, just remember that you can do anything you put your mind to. Plus, it's Friday and think of all the kinky kitchen sex you can get in between tonight and Monday.

P.S. We totally sang that in our high school chamber choir.

[Chicago Tribune: After nearly six years, R. Kelly child pornography trial seems like a go]

R. Kelly Wants to Know if You're Tight

Emily Farris — Thu, 08 May 2008 15:16:00 GMT

With his child pornography trial finally set to begin in Chicago tomorrow, R. Kelly is distracting himself with more important things, like his new single "Hair Braider" and dedicating the splash page of his website to some tight-ass hair braids. Needless to say, he wants your pictures.

R. Kelly asked people to upload pictures of their braids to his site. But so far the gallery is lots of women (and a few men) with hair as straight as ours and no braids, who, for some reason, really want to be judged harshly at r-kelly.com.

But there are some nice braids in there, too (mostly dudes)—even some tight ones, just the way R. Kelly likes them.

Also, did someone upload a picture of his mom as a joke? Because we don't think this lady would actually upload a picture of herself to R. Kelly's website.

[R. Kelly]

To Catch a "Sophisticated" Predator

Emily Farris — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 18:33:00 GMT

What's the difference between a plain old child predator and a sophisticated child predator? A sophisticated child predator writes things like this on the internet:

"My thanks to you and all the others that, together, make this the greatest group of pedos to gather in one place," James Freeman, who authorities say went by the screen name "Mystikal," wrote, according to the indictment. "I'm honored just to be a part of it."

Also, sophisticated predators apparently use encryption to communicate with each other, drug five-year-olds, and run their child porn rings like businesses.

[ABC News: 'Sophisticated' Child Porn Ring Busted]