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Conan and Cannolis Brought Out the Dirty Talk in Paula Deen

Colleen Kane — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 15:17:00 GMT

Chef Paula Deen appears so wholesome and grandmotherly, yet she let fly many a coy innuendo the other night on Late Night With Conan O'Brien.

It started out mild.

"I had a date like you once," she told Conan as he got overzealous with the Amaretto. OK, typical Conan co-cooking flirtation.

And then,

"Throw your nuts in," said Paula, followed by much mugging for the camera. Still pretty par for the course. Until...

"I'll put and you hold...shove it in...now we're going to stuff our cannoli shells...now we're going to get our shells and we're going to stick it in, here i'll help you put it in." That's what she said.

"I need a cigarette after this," said the predictably flustered Conan.

"You know that's the difference between a nice girl and a good girl?" asked Paula.

[whispers] "A nice girl will help you put it in, a good girl won't at all."

"My daddy told me that."

Sounds like Paula's daddy is creepy. Also, I don't think I ever want to eat a cannoli. The ones made in this demo by Paula and Conesey were deep fried, then dipped in colored sugars.

Watch the whole episode including a segment with the hilarious Kathy Griffin at NBC.com.

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Gay Cannibal Becomes Prison Chef

Emily Farris — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 19:38:00 GMT

Anthony Morely, a former Mr. Gay UK winner, was recently convicted of murdering and then eating parts of a magazine executive in the UK. And now, his friend said, he's been given the job of prison chef. A strange idea, until you consider that Morely had the wherewithal to properly season and sauté his victim.

Apparently, Morely slit the throat of Damian Oldfield before cutting off chunks of his body, seasoning them with herbs and frying them in olive oil.

While Morely is sentenced to the kitchen, he won't be allowed to use knives. Maybe he'll work the deep fryer?

"I reckon some of the other inmates might get a bit worried if they knew who was serving up their food but I'd eat it," Morely's friend Michael said. "Whatever he's done, Tony can cook. He's a brilliant chef. They obviously knew about his talent with food so they offered him the chance to work in the canteen... He was really angry that they weren't letting him use any knives. He asked me, 'How the hell am I supposed to do this without knives?'"

Well, we all know that those who can't do teach. So maybe he should spend his newfound free time writing a cannibal cookbook? Oh, sorry. Was that in poor taste? (Har, har.)

[People UK: GAY CANNIBAL KILLER'S JOB AS A PRISON CHEF]

[Image via Gawker]

If You Can't Stand the Heat... You Might Die

Emily Farris — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 16:40:00 GMT

Apparently, being a self-made chef does not make one immune to hot peppers.

A chef in the UK suffered heart failure and died after eating a spciy chili on a dare.

Mr Lee, of Edlington, Doncaster was apparently in perfect health and had just passed a medical at work, the opening of the Doncaster hearing was told.

Cooking was one of his main interests and he went to his girlfriend Samantha Bailey's house to make a chilli.

His father John Lee told the inquest: "He had a bet with Samantha's brother who could make the hottest chilli then went back to her house to stay."

Mother-of-four Miss Bailey called the emergency services to her home nine days ago.

Police officers were called to the house after receiving reports of a man suffering a cardiac arrest and Mr Lee was found lying on the floor.

Paramedics failed to revive him and he was pronounced dead at the scene.

Our little sister's boyfriend did this once, but only ended up with a severe case of the runs.

[Telegraph: Chef dies after eating 'superhot' chilli for bet]

Gordon Ramsay To His 10 Year Old Daughter: "Eat Your Veggies And Grow Big Tits"

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:09:00 GMT

Apparently, Gordon Ramsay is just as much of an assface outside of Hell's Kitchen, including in his own... kitchen, that is, when his ten-year-old daughter is present.

The foul-mouthed TV star says his 10-year-old daughter, Megan, was a fussy eater - but she eagerly eats vegetables because she thinks they will enhance her chest.

He says, "I say to Meg, 'You've got to eat your lettuce, otherwise your boobies aren't going to grow.'

"It works - she's eating whole heads of lettuce, saying, 'Dad, look!' "

The man is a menace to children everywhere, and especially his own. Watch as he tries to pass off his son's mimicking of his constant use of the "fuck" word on some poor, innocent sixteen-year-olds.

When he started asking his father what various x-rated words mean, Ramsey told the British magazine Radio Times, he became concerned.

"I had to sit him down and found out that this was coming from the 16-year-olds on the bus who'd decided to teach Jack Ramsay a different swear word every day," Ramsay said.

Via the New York Post/IMDB.

Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition Part II: Bourdain vs. Colicchio

Emily Farris — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:35:00 GMT

Last week, we asked which celebrity chef you'd rather: Bobby Flay or Gordon Ramsay. While Flay won by a small margin, many of you voted, resoundingly, for neither. So, we present Round II of Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Anthony Bourdain vs. Tom Colicchio.

We love Top Chef, craft and Colicchio, but it's Bourdain that does it for us. And here's why:

"Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food. The body, these waterheads imagine, is a temple that should not be polluted by animal protein. It's healthier, they insist, though every vegetarian waiter I've worked with is brought down by any rumor of a cold. Oh, I'll accommodate them, I'll rummage around for something to feed them, for a 'vegetarian plate', if called on to do so. Fourteen dollars for a few slices of grilled eggplant and zucchini suits my food cost fine."—Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential

He can put his teeth in our meat any day. But, really, it's up to you. So, who would you rather: Anthony Bourdain or Tom Colicchio?

UPDATE: To our friends visitng from Grub Street, yes, we originally spelled Tom Colicchio's name wrong. Laugh and point. Then vote.