Scanner : charity

Live! Nude! Old! Girls!

Colleen Kane — Mon, 11 May 2009 16:00:00 GMT

As we briefly mentioned before, the Calendar Girls are back. Ten years after they first took it off, England's six original Calendar Girls are taking it off for charity again. To recap for those who didn't see the movie inspired by the true events (starring Dame Helen Mirren), the idea came about after Angela Baker's husband died of lymphoma, and the calendar proceeds go to benefit lukemia research.

The models, who pose with strategically placed props, now range in age from 57 to 75, but their semi-nudity may just get trumped by a well-known 75-year-old actress who is considering going full monty for Playboy...

Page Six reports that Shirley Jones is considering posting for Playboy. Her husband and manager, Marty Ingels, says, "She's still drop-dead gorgeous, and at the age of 75, a natural beauty. I'm her husband, and I think it would be sensational. Mature women are relevant."

Hell yes Marty Ingels and Shirley Jones!

How excited is Fairbanks right now?

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While You Were Sleeping: Lindsay Lohan's Strip Show

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 14:04:00 GMT

Christopher Hitchens recalls the night no one wanted him to get loaded, so he went to Hunter Thompson's house to get bombed and fire off some guns. Someone explain to me why life is worth living without that man in this world.

Tomorrow's South Park is about pirates.

An Australian town chorus posed nude for charity.

The Food Network Magazine benefits in this economy-- maybe because no one can afford food, so they decide to read about? Not sure on this one.

Madonna may have lied about paparazzi causing her fall from a horse. Ya think?

This guy is right about his water bill-- there's no way he used 300,000 gallons in one month... and he's also right that no one, not even a well-meaning anonymous donor should have to pay the price for the water company's clerical error.

Rumors are brewing that Lindsay Lohan is considering joining a topless revue. Man, the internet will believe anything Perez Hilton tells them, huh?

And Stephen Hawking is apparently in serious condition in an English hospital.

While You Were Sleeping: Drunk Breastfeeding

Jarvis Cocker & Other Rockers' Skivvies Up for Auction

Colleen Kane — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 20:02:00 GMT

An eBay charity event is auctioning off 37 pairs of celebrity undies to benefit NNLISDropin, a charity to support poor asylum seekers.

(Nick Cave sure has some girly panties, huh? He is a slight man, but damn!)

So far, the knickers drawing the highest bids are...

Fergie, at £120

Jordan £120

Jarvis Cocker at £142

Marc Quinn £205

Steve Bell £200

R. Crumb's boxers with portrait start at £200, but have 0 bids.

The auctions can all be seen here on eBay.

Man Steals Underwear from Victoria's Secret, We Share Our Victoria's Secret

Malaysian Chinese Buying Sexy Underwear for People Who We Hope Cannot Wear Them

eBay Removes Kerry Katona's Breast Implant

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 17:04:00 GMT

Kerry Katona did two things right: one, she went on MTV in the UK and had her 34-double-G's removed. Those fake boobs were ridiculous and very unattractive (to our minds.)

The second thing she did was even more inspired-- she autographed one of those implants and put it on eBay for The Breast Cancer Campaign...

According to Fox News, which we will quote from here so you don't have to give them any of your page views, eBay then did the dumbest thing imaginable: it pulled the auction.

"The implant was on eBay and I believe the idea was to raise money for Breast Cancer Campaign," a rep for the charity told Tarts. "However eBay have now taken the item off because people were putting fake bids in, £8 million ($11.34 million US) at one point."

But according to eBay it wasn’t bogus bidders that resulted in the item being removed, it was actually Katona who broke the rules.

"Our policy team weighed in and said that this auction was removed for the Charity Violation contained within the item description as there was no letter of written consent by eBay's Office of the President to allow the item to be sold under our Charity guidelines," an eBay rep told Tarts.

Oh, shut up, eBay. You're just a bunch of conservative whimps that always side with the ripoff artists when they claim to have never received expensive items from honest sellers. And your conservative founder is running to further ruin the state of California as a Republican governor. eBay, you should know, we have negative feedback to give you.

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Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 20:35:00 GMT

She's a reality show star, fashionista, fake celebrity, and the subject of endless tabloid gossip in England. So, why aren't these naked photos of Peaches Geldof taking the internet by storm?

Perhaps it's due to the fact that she resembles, at least facially, her facer, the singer of "I Don't Like Mondays" and organizer of Live8 and other charity festivities. Perhaps it's her tiresome personality, one so maudlin it could render any naked person as sexy as Ron Jeremy. For one thing, she got married as a teenager-- and she wasn't even pregnant. Worse, the marriage lasted only a few weeks and Peaches told friends: "I just don't fancy him anymore." Worse still, she admitted that even though she was married, she never thought it would last. Conservatives-- this is your enemy of marriage, not the gays.

Anyway, Peaches has been trying to get the public's attention ever since the divorce proceedings began this summer. Now, she's posing for supposedly candid photographs while frolicking topless on the beach. You think if they had hired a photographer, these would've been of better quality, but whatever...

So, hot or not?

Via TaxiDriverMovie.

While You Were Sleeping: Mexican Beauty Queen Stripped... Of Her Title

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 14:03:00 GMT

Players and connoisseurs of music, Thelonious Monk's advice on playing in his band is an essential look at a mad genius.

Never been kissed? These kooks hadn't either, so they decided to make out in public and then tell the Daily News their real names.

Courtney Love and the Kardashians are at war...

Courtney Love faces possible legal action after accusing socialite Kim Kardashian's brother Rob of punching one of her gay employees.
In an angry rant on her MySpace page written on Wednesday, Love alleged that Kardashian's brother Rob Jr. broke the nose of her employee while calling him a "faggot" in September.

Love writes: "Rob Jr. cold socked and punched my employee right in his face for no reason and broke his nose after my guy was hanging out with his pal Brody Jenner one night outside Hyde lounge."

Talk about adding insult to injury: not only is he named Mike Hunt, but the internet makes fun of his name when he's murdered.

At last, CNN does something good with its website: it reports on a 17-year-old Maryland kid who heard about violence against Sudanese women who go looking for firewood and decided to raise money to send them stoves.

The war between Lindsay Lohan and her father, and her father and Samantha Ronson, rages on.

A Mexican beauty queen lost her title after getting caught up in a drug sweep.

$100,000 worth of cashews were stolen in Sydney yesterday.

And rumors involving the possible engagement of Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen turn out to have been false (we think.)

PapSmeared: Spencer and Heidi Help the Homeless, Themselves

Emily Farris — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 16:22:00 GMT

[Image]

Today in WTF: Porn For The Blind

Ina Maier — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:52:00 GMT

So, with all this recession / no more money / everybody-and-their-mother-has-been-laid-off business going on, there's also been a lot of talk about charity. We're sure you've gotten the old "Things May Be Bad For You But They're Sure As Shit Worse For Someone Else" speil about a million times by now. And if you're anything like us, you may feel badly for whomever it is that's got it worse than you, but that still doesn't mean you're about to give up the dregs of your "I Need To Get As Drunk As Possible" Fund. That's why we've found this money-free way to give back to the much maligned minority group that is The Blind.

So, this holiday season, help a blind man get a boner by providing an audio synopsis of a porn movie for the visually challenged.

Yup, you read that right! (Provided you're not blind, that is.) Audio porn for blind people, supplied by such charitable citizens are yourself. And so, without further ado, we bring to you, the wonderful world that is Porn For The Blind.

If you click through, you'll hear some wonderful gems, such as:

"A MILF...undressing in her bedroom. And outside the window is a man with his pants around his thighs, masturbating to the MILF."

"The man in the prison uniform is now rubbing his penis. The warden seems to be attracted to this motion. Uh, she says she's worked a long shift. Oh! And now instead of being an officer of the law who enforces order, she is now enforcing the strong arm of the law of his penis into her mouth."

“Now the woman is performing a blow job… the receiving party appears to be very pleased with this… the walls behind the couple are covered in a floral print wallpaper…"

Think you've got what it takes? What are you waiting for? Get started! They've got 5 user requests ready and waiting.

(And we're going to go ahead and personally recommend "Lisa Ann's Jail Time". The charitable reader of said clip does add such verve and zest to his descriptions.)

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Memo to the Telegraph: If You Cover Up, You're Not Naked

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:50:00 GMT

The above photo of Marisa Miller is advertised as a "nudie pic." We're pretty sure she's actually naked under that iPod (a great Christmas gift, by the way!), but we have to question the supposed nudity in this shot of five young students of Cambridge University...

Okay, sure, they're probably nekkid (although they're all wearing boots and the girl on the far left clearly has shorts or underwear on), but what about the fact that these damn lambs keep getting in the way? They may be naked, but is this technically a "nude photo?"

This was a photo shoot the five Cambridge University gals did for a charity calendar, being sold for nine English pounds (coincidentally their combined body weight), which is for blah blah blah a Veterinary Hospital blah blah.

Photo via the Telegraph.

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While You Were Sleeping: The No Pants Ride

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 14:09:00 GMT

Idiots are already out with 2012 Presidential election polls. Thankfully, we have 2004 predictions to show you the futility of these fact-finding missions: Rudy Guiliani defeats John Kerry or John Edwards or Hillary Clinton in the 2008 race to the White House.

Meanwhile, the Electoral College named Barack Obama as the President-elect and Kerry is the new head of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.

A major movie star from the past has turned to blogging to amuse himself...

Post Election
Current mood: hopeful

As you know, I urged the young people to vote. And I'm so gratified that we had the largest number of young people voting that we've ever had. Of course, I was careful not to sway their votes. But I must admit, I'm very happy that our country has made such a historical move. The world will be astounded that the United States has elected a black man to lead them. I never imagined that such an event would be possible during my lifetime. I think our country will now go on a course that permits us to work with other countries.

The comments that I received from other countries all tell me how much people have the same dreams and we must all work together in order to fulfill those dreams.

...so says Kirk Douglas on his MySpace page.

Anthony Pellicano received a whopping 15-year prison sentence.

This interview with Jon Hamm by our Bearded Man of (Last) Week is goddamned funny as hell.

The latest victims of the economic downturn: Marines and the kids they give gifts to.

That Follieri Guy, Anne Hathaway's most recent terrible boyfriend choice, owes $3.6 mil.

And the next No Pants Subway Ride in New York City is January 10th.

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More Nude Rugby Calendar Dudes For The Holidays

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 16:42:00 GMT

We'll always blog about nude rugby players and their calendars, particularly if the calendars are a charitable endeavor...

In an age when young starlets take their clothes off in a surefire attempt at jump-starting their careers, we should be ignoring them and pay more attention to people like the men of the Gloucester and Westbury-on-Severn rugby squads, both of which agreed to pose for arty black-and-white pinup shots, with no monetary or career-boosting awards whatsoever.

Check out the two photos that have been sent out to the press. The first is of a Gloucester team member named Andy Hazell (any relation to Keeley?); the second, butt shots of the Westbury boys:

We have no idea where one might be able to purchase these calendars, so if you have that info, please pass it along and we'll share it here.

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Heroes of the Day: Those Who Gave Money To Elderly Man With $3,000 Water Bill

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 21:38:00 GMT

In these trying economic times, even charities are suffering. Food banks are packed with starving, unemployed families while their stockpiles are depleted quickly and their donations plummet.

So, you'd be forgiven for thinking that an 84-year-old man, slapped with a $3,000 water bill, is going to be out of luck when asking people to help him out this holiday season...

Nope, they did, and in spades and droves and whatever you want to call it:

The Appleton, Wisconsin man has received $4,027 in donations to help offset the bill he received when he was away from home and his pipes cracked, allowing for tens of thousands of cubic feet of water to flood his meter. The organizers of the fundraising effort, which saw donations of $5 to $500, actually had to tell people not to continue donating and the stunned citizen, Norman Beckman, will donate the rest of the cash to an underfunded charity.

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Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 22:23:00 GMT

The Frisky points us to a study that determined that Playboy Playmates get "older, heavier, and taller" in these, um, lean times.

Tom Jones spent the day busking for charity. Unfortunately, he would have raised more money by auctioning off a pair of tighty-whities.

Our hero of the day: a woman was robbed of the purse containing her green card. At the risk of great personal safety, she did what again?

A feisty Harlem woman turned the tables on three subway muggers, chasing down two of the thugs while snatching back her purse - because it had her green card in it, cops said yesterday.
As she continued to grab at the muggers, they decided they had enough. One of them begged Conde to let go of his accomplice.

"Leave him alone!" the thug cried out. "He's my friend!"

The gang gave up and ran away, leaving the purse on the ground. [NY Post]

Speaking of dumb robbers, this guy may be the dumbest ever: he robbed a convenience store, his stolen getaway vehicle broke down, and the taxi took him right back to where he started, where he was promptly arrested.

If you have sex with a prostitute who was human trafficked to the U.K., you could be charged with rape under a new law. Quite rightly: if a guy knows a hooker is being held against her will, he should do serious hard time. Didn't you guys ever see Lilya-4-Ever?

And as the world readies for the imminent release of Chinese Democracy, MTV looks back at Axl's finest hours.

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UPDATE: Alain Baxter's Nude Calendar Artier Than We Expected

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:56:00 GMT

Back in August, we posted a story about Alain Baxter, the Olympic skier who was stripped of his medal after what we considered an innocent mistake.

In that post, we noted Baxter was working on a topless wall calendar and we promised to share it with you if it turned out to be halfway decent. Well, from what we've seen so far, it will far exceed our erotic expectations...

Here's the cover of the calendar... and a link to its excellent photographs. (By the way, in case you've forgotten, all proceeds go toward Baxter's training for the 2010 Olympics, for which he will attempt an unprecedented comeback.)

UPDATE: Alain writes in:

sorry for the delay in getting back to you, i am in austria training at the moment and i dont have all the shots with me, will this one do for just now? i dont know if it's big enough or not...

Well, Alain, the ladies here seem to agree it is indeed "big enough." See the added photo, below, for yourself:

Here's a preview of the rest.

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Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:51:00 GMT

Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama on Meet the Press. He pointed out the Senator is and has always been a Christian... and so what if he was a Muslim?

A gym teacher posed as a lesbian model to try to get his student to send him a nude self-portrait.

Jon Stewart has only one thing to say to Sarah Palin... and he can't say it on TV...

That's right... he tells Sarah Palin: "Fuck you." The full transcript of this almost completely garbled video is here.

Guess how much a tennis lesson with Andy Roddick costs? A million bucks, right? That's what you'd think, but not only is it a mere 15 g's, Roddick is throwing in a nudity option as well.

You know how much we love pranks.

The shortlist for the Oscars' Best Foreign Language Film nominees was announced, although we don't think many of them will see release in the U.S. for a while.

A man was charged with taking a leak in a police car and spitting on a cop. The man was, of course, butt naked at the time.

And a bunch of cheerleaders were busted for hitting the bottle before The Big Game. Wait, some teenagers aren't drunk the night before a big game? That's not the America we know and love...

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For Every Action, There Is An Equal And Opposite (Man Boob) Reaction...

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:22:00 GMT

Remember Boobs on Bikes, the hottest boobs-on-motorcycles parade in the history of the modern world?

Nope, we're not tired of talking about it yet...

According to our #1 source for B on B info, Stuff(.co.nz.com), these boobs are, technically, the safe for work kind. In other words, we're talking about man boobs... glorious, glorious... man boobs.

Ra Dallas (a total porn star name if it were spelled "Raw Dallas") is a morning drive-time DJ on the Tahu FM radio station. He caught the Auckland procession live on television and imagined how much funnier it would have been with dudes on the bikes without the female porn stars... with the dudes topless, of course.

"Then I thought, `Wouldn't it be great if we could do something like that and actually make some money out of it for a good cause,"' he said.

"It's about supporting our women and talking about this killer disease that's taking our mothers, our sisters, our wives and grandmothers." [Stuff]

Now that's a hero, damn it: not only is he raising money for women's health, he's doing it while embarrassing himself in the most public way imaginable (well, that is, second only to choking the chicken on live television.)

We'll keep you posted in case this turns out to be brilliant...

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While You Were Sleeping: Posing Nude For Fun Or Charity

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 13:09:00 GMT

Jude Law's new girlfriend is posing nude for the upcoming edition of Playboy in France.

If this guy keeps winning elections, maybe there isn't any reason to vote.

A conservative Canadian mayor is finding out that just because those nude photos of her made headlines over five years ago, people are still going to bring them up when she runs for higher office. Uncensored photo below:

A man in Monticello, New York is in jail after asking a random thirteen-year-old girl if she would mind posing nude for his camera phone. The reason we're pointing this story out is this: he was apprehended after a bunch of passerby, who heard him propose the same setup to a (legal) woman, became an angry mob and chased him into someone's house.

Perhaps you've heard of them, but we haven't: several English celebrities are posing nude for charity.

Hear about that attorney who had his client pay off part of her debt by doing stripteases? Surprise-- he was a cheapskate.

Speaking of quid pro quo arrangements: a staff member of a Utah high school plead to a reduced charge in his beer-for-nude-photos-of-the-boys-who-wanted-beer scandal.

Detroit's City Council President is now the city's new Mayor, following his predecessor's sex scandal, jail sentence, and eventual resignation.

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Colin Farrell Plays Fairy Godmother to Homeless Canadian

Nicole Pasulka — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 16:50:00 GMT

Remember a year ago when Colin Farrell, in Toronto for the Toronto International Film Festival, gave a homeless man $3,000 and implored him to get sober and get his life together? Yeah, neither did we.

But some Canadians haven't forgotten. They've actually gone as far as to track down the man Farrell gifted last year. So how's he doing?

According to this article, pretty damn well. The guy, named Stress, "was hopeless and ready to give up" when Farrell found him in a doorway and "gave him cash for lodgings, plus a shopping spree of three grand." Today, "Stress is clean and sober, has a comfy bachelor pad, goes to church and the Y and darts around town on a mountain bike."

Hot Damn! Who knew all that Hollywood money could actually help somebody. Call Angelina Jolie and let her know.

Sloppy Seconds: The Truth About The "Abusive" Paul McCartney

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:51:00 GMT

An earthquake this morning registered 5.4 on the Andy Richter scale and was felt from LA to Vegas and down to Mexico. There were no reported injuries as of post time.

Although he's charged with a DUI, Shia LaBeouf was not at fault for the car crash that flipped his truck. The other driver has been ticketed for running a red light...

PageSix claims Marc Jacobs has wed in Paris... and if you didn't know, he married...

his Brazilian boyfriend in a civil ceremony... which is not legally binding.

Other sources speculate that this is just a decoy move while Jacobs gets married elsewhere, away from the prying press...

Jennifer Aniston, Scarlett Johansson and Charlize Theron are to appear on a breast cancer telethon the night of September 5th.

We couldn't imagine Paul McCartney ever hitting anyone-- shit, could you imagine the guy who wrote "Yesterday" and "Maybe I'm Amazed" getting medieval on anyone? Now, Heather Mills' ex-publicist is speaking out and basically confirming what we suspected all along: the evidence of McCartney abusing his ex-wife was completely fabricated to help the wife's case.

We're pretty sure it's a fake of... something... but WTF is this photo Gawker posted?

You can download the Walkmen's excellent new album for $5, with all of the proceeds going to the cause of one hospitalized baby. The music revolution, indeed.

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19-Year-Old Girl In China Strips For Charity

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:21:00 GMT

Over a million people have viewed these photos that Scanner Nicole showed us earlier of a partly-clad teenage girl who is raising money for victims of her country's devastating earthquake.

"I am still a student, so I am doing my part in my way. I just want to give something back to my hometown."

Of course, conservatives all over the world (especially in her home country) have been attacking the 19-year-old Xiao Yun:

'These photographs look like they were carefully selected. She probably just wants to use the viral nature of the Internet to raise her profile online.'

Another blogger lamented: 'It's a pity that these 'post-90' (referring to the year 1990) girls are so shameless. Is this all they know how to do? What happened to their dignity?' [Asia Finest]

We say it's a brilliant way to skirt obscenity law and do some good for people who have nothing. Unless she turns out to be hoarding the money for herself, we have to assume her heart is in the right place... [Note: We were going to include a donation link, but we can't even find the original website. Perhaps here?]

More photos here.

Via Ananova.

Previously: Chinese Student Understands That Charity Starts With a Little Titty Flash

Sloppy Seconds: Get That Bill Cosby Sweater You've Always Wanted

Emily Farris — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 22:51:00 GMT

Jerry Hall's creepy 10-year-old son, Gabriel (her fourth with Mick Jagger and the one who once suckled her teet on a magazine cover) has threatened to kill himself if Mommy ever gets a boyfriend. [FameCrawler]

Also, we just learned that Hall is "the Global Ambassador for Levitra, a treatment for erectile dysfunction, manufactured by Bayer Healthcare." [Wikipedia]

Are Jennifer Aniston and Cameron Diaz swapping exes? [Us]

Oh, hey crazy cat ladies. We'll see you in a few years. [cat ladies]

Apparently, Tatum O'Neal's excuse for getting busted for a crack deal got even better yesterday. [YBNBY]

Would your wardrobe be complete with an authentic Bill Cosby sweater? You know, one he actually wore on the show? Well, let the bidding begin because they're on sale at the Bill Cosby Charity Auction. [eBay via The Remote Island]

Nude Carla Bruni Photo Sells For 91 Grand; Cambodian Charity Refuses Profits

Bryan Christian — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:24:00 GMT

That nudie auction that we've been so excited about for, like, months finally happened on Thursday, and it, well... it was basically a success. That Brigitte Bardot shot we liked went for about $100,000 more than estimated, and the Michel Comte snap of French First Lady Carla Bruni (remember the dustup a few weeks back?) went for $91,000 --20 TIMES more than expected.

So what's the bad news? Well, a Cambodian children's hospital apparently didn't notice the word "nude" plastered all over every aspect of the auction, so they're refusing their share of the profits.

Dr [Beat] Richner told French publication Le Matin Dimanche that his decision was made out of respect for his patients and their mothers, and said accepting the money would have been perceived as an insult.

He also criticised the photographer for using his hospitals to gain publicity.

The money will now instead be donated to a Swiss research institute developing the recycling of used water into fresh drinking water in poor countries.

The classy thing, of course, would be for Madame First Lady to find a way to match the profits... Anyone else care to hold their breath for that one?

Video of the Day: Can't Buy Her Love

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 18:20:00 GMT

Heather Mills, nee McCartney, is the ultimate gold digger. We can officially call her that now that she's robbed Paul McCartney of 25 million pounds sterling.

Although she is in big with charities all over the world, including Adopt A Landmine, is there anyone out there who seriously believes this woman, obviously suffering from euphoria (as well as bitterness that her settlement wasn't 200 million) is going to give the majority of her windfall to charity? Or really much of it at all?

The Prospering Cheaters: Doin' it for the Kids

Emily Farris — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:29:00 GMT

Now that Scanner Bryan has wrapped up his charitable act for the year, it's Scanner Emily's turn to do her part (slowly leaving the "we....").

As you know, I play lots of Scrabulous lately to maybe, possibly make up for not doing something else. This has left me somewhat obsessed with Scrabble and also I'm getting pretty good at it.

Before I began spending my days glued to the computer with the loyal Scanner readers, I was a volunteer tutor at 826NYC, a non-profit, after-school drop-in center founded in California (826 Valencia) by Dave Eggers. While 826 helps kids with all of their homework, the main goal of the organization is to support students age 6-18 with their creative and expository writing skills.

Great right? A free after-school, drop-in writing lab! Yes! But it costs money to run. That's why I've signed up with my friend Dan (Team: The Prospering Cheaters) for Scrabble for Cheaters. But it costs us every time we cheat. Plus, we're playing with the likes of John Hodgman and John Oliver (The Daily Show) and Peter Dinklage (The Station Agent), and frankly we want to kick their asses... while we raise money for the kids, of course. Don't you want The Prospering Cheaters to invent a word in your honor ($500) or maybe just buy an extra vowel ($50)?

[The Prospering Cheaters]

Mustaches For Kids NY Was a Big Success!

Bryan Christian — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 15:44:00 GMT

Hey everyone, just wanted to drop you guys a note and let you know that thanks to you and people like you, Mustaches for Kids NY 2007 was a big success (though weirdly, they've not updated the site to reflect it yet). No, I did not win the title of "Mustache King of New York," but I did make it to the semi-finals, thank you very much -- largely due to my ability to lift a toy boat with my 'stache and a pair of alligator clips (ow!), and also my 'stache's ability to retain an impressive amount of Guinness foam. (Well, I might have had some practice on that one!).

All in all, we raised well over the projected goal of $40,000, all of which will be going to children's school programs in the New York area, and though they didn't have my final online tally when I last checked, I know that I personally raised well over $400 for the cause. So to everyone who pitched in or cheered me on, thanks again.

And for those of you who are wondering... I still haven't shaved the darn thing off yet. I'm kind of growing fond of having a classic 'stache. Every time I'd grown one before, it'd wind up some hipster handlebar/Lemmy-type thing, but this one feels kind of classy. I'm thinking that i might let a winter beard grow in around it and see how I feel about it then. Thoughts?

Three More Days to Pledge in Support of Scanner Bryan's Sweet Sweet 'Stache

Bryan Christian — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 18:02:00 GMT

Mustaches for Kids 2007 continues apace, ladies and gentlemen Scannerites, and let me just say that as the final week of this grueling challenge winds to a close, I'm fairly certain that growing out my facial hair for charity may have been the most challenging, most rewarding, most important thing I've ever done with my life. Over the past few weeks, through Mustaches for Kids, I've met some great people, shared some wonderful stories. I've raised some cash for M4K NYC, DonorsChoose.org, and the projects that they're supporting this year. I've loved and lost and loved again. Once I even sailed to the moon, killed a rabid moonbear in the frigid lunar night with nothing but my mustache and some freeze-dried spaghetti, and then returned to Earth in time for dessert -- and more loving.

But now, it's time for you to do something!

If you've already pledged, thanks, but if you haven't: there's still time. The big 'Stache Bash is this Saturday, so you've only got three more days to support both my sweet sweet 'stache and kids in New York City schools. I promise, if you make a pledge today, you will not only feel a warmth in your heart knowing that you've done some good for kids this holiday season, but also a deep sense of pride from supporting the growth of manly mustaches everywhere.

If you're interested in making a pledge, I'm now growing my 'stache for the Condusive Learning Environment in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, as the previous project I was growing for is now totally funded! (Hooray!) You can give money to this project in my name by going to DonorsChoose.org or by clicking the "Project" link on my "MyStache" profile page, where you can track the progress my upper lip has made over the last few weeks. (Be sure to indicate that you are gifting "in someone else's name" in the Acknowledgement section, and include my name when you fill out your information.)

Thanks!

Scanner Bryan is 'Stache-ing Out!!!

Bryan Christian — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 12:54:00 GMT

I admit it: I, Scanner Bryan, totally missed my check-in with Mustache for Kids last week, so I've had nothing to show you facial-hair-wise until today. Come on, though! It was Thanksgiving, fer Chrissakes, and everyone here at Scanner had a shit-ton going on. But the important thing is: my mustache just kept on growing! Just have a look! Plus I managed to coax a bit of cash for M4K and DonorsChoose.org from everyone at my big Thanksgiving dinner! Huzzah for eating too much oillessly fried turkey!

So now it's your turn. Dig that facial hair over there? How can you not? More importantly, how can you not run immediately to my MyStache page and pledge all your money to me and Mustaches for Kids right this very second via the "Project" link? Operators are standing by, people! Them facial hairs ain't gonna grow by themselves!

Come Grow With Me and Mustaches for Kids!

Bryan Christian — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 19:16:00 GMT

Gentlemen, have you ever stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror and asked, "How can my facial hair benefit the needy?" Well, ask no more: Behold Mustaches for Kids, a charity geared around the growing of that most manly of upper-lip accoutrements, la moustache. (Beats the Marilyn piercing by a mile.)

How's it work? Well, think of it as a fun run for your face! If you can grow a 'stache, sign up in your city, get pledges, and check in once a week with your fellow growers to document your progress and, most likely, get drunk. (There are rules, believe it or not, so, like, no Lemmys.) Or maybe growing a lip tickler ain't your bag? Then over the next month, find one you like on the websites and make a donation. Like this one for example (hint, hint). The money raised goes to a bunch of different worthy causes: in New York, it's DonorsChoose.org; in Pittsburgh, it's the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Greater PA.

Shaving Day -- meaning the day you clean off the playing field and start growing -- is today in NYC, and later in the week in Chicago and elsewhere. (Sorry SF and Pittsburgh mustachios -- you guys got going the other day.) Let's get growing, America!