Scanner : celebrity chefs

Rachael Ray Sex Tape Best YouTube Parody In Ages

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:15:00 GMT

Rachael started to get us very excited and so we were ultimately disturbed by this audio clip from the sex tape Rachael Ray made before she was famous.

NSFW, but too funny to miss. You will also probably lose your (sexual) appetite for the duration of the day, so please listen with earplugs fully enabled, like Odysseus if the sirens were screeching TV "chefs" with giant teeth.

Gordon Ramsay To His 10 Year Old Daughter: "Eat Your Veggies And Grow Big Tits"

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 18:09:00 GMT

Apparently, Gordon Ramsay is just as much of an assface outside of Hell's Kitchen, including in his own... kitchen, that is, when his ten-year-old daughter is present.

The foul-mouthed TV star says his 10-year-old daughter, Megan, was a fussy eater - but she eagerly eats vegetables because she thinks they will enhance her chest.

He says, "I say to Meg, 'You've got to eat your lettuce, otherwise your boobies aren't going to grow.'

"It works - she's eating whole heads of lettuce, saying, 'Dad, look!' "

The man is a menace to children everywhere, and especially his own. Watch as he tries to pass off his son's mimicking of his constant use of the "fuck" word on some poor, innocent sixteen-year-olds.

When he started asking his father what various x-rated words mean, Ramsey told the British magazine Radio Times, he became concerned.

"I had to sit him down and found out that this was coming from the 16-year-olds on the bus who'd decided to teach Jack Ramsay a different swear word every day," Ramsay said.

Via the New York Post/IMDB.

Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition Part II: Bourdain vs. Colicchio

Emily Farris — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:35:00 GMT

Last week, we asked which celebrity chef you'd rather: Bobby Flay or Gordon Ramsay. While Flay won by a small margin, many of you voted, resoundingly, for neither. So, we present Round II of Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Anthony Bourdain vs. Tom Colicchio.

We love Top Chef, craft and Colicchio, but it's Bourdain that does it for us. And here's why:

"Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food. The body, these waterheads imagine, is a temple that should not be polluted by animal protein. It's healthier, they insist, though every vegetarian waiter I've worked with is brought down by any rumor of a cold. Oh, I'll accommodate them, I'll rummage around for something to feed them, for a 'vegetarian plate', if called on to do so. Fourteen dollars for a few slices of grilled eggplant and zucchini suits my food cost fine."—Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential

He can put his teeth in our meat any day. But, really, it's up to you. So, who would you rather: Anthony Bourdain or Tom Colicchio?

UPDATE: To our friends visitng from Grub Street, yes, we originally spelled Tom Colicchio's name wrong. Laugh and point. Then vote.

Who Would You Rather, Celebrity Chef Edition: Gordon Ramsay vs. Bobby Flay?

Emily Farris — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 16:51:00 GMT

Hell's Kitchen with Ramsay or a Throwdown with Flay?

As far as we here at Scanner are concerned (and by "we" I mean me, Scanner Emily), there is nothing sexier than a man who knows his way around the kitchen. The only thing that could possibly be sexier is if said man also knows his way around the female body, is brilliant, and has a beard. While neither of this week's Who Would You Rather? contestants regularly sport facial hair (probably more hygienic that way), both have complete control of their kitchens and are brilliant at what they do. We can only hope they know how to handle a female body as well as they can handle a lamb shank, you know, minus the cutting.

So, which celebrity chef would you rather have cook you dinner and then help you burn off the calories in bed: Gordon Ramsay or Bobby Flay?

Scanner Emily's full disclosure: I'm a Flay girl, all the way, and not only because he contributed an Eggplant Parmesan recipe to my upcoming cookbook. He's just so damn cute. And "Boy Meets Grill?" Come on!