Scanner : castration

Most Bizarre Stakeout Ever Ends in Penis Severing

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 06 May 2009 17:02:00 GMT

You would think the most bizarre thing about a woman biting off her boss's penis would be the part where the woman bites off her boss's penis.

You obviously haven't been reading Nerve for very long...

An unidentified 30-year-old female in Singapore will probably never give oral again-- and her boss never receive it-- after this disturbing incident. While the married lady was going down on her superior in a park car, a van crashed into them, similar to that scene in The World According to Garp where the cheating wife is blowing her young student and Robin Williams pulls into the driveway and... ow.

The most bizarre part of the story is that the lovers were found by the private detective that was spying on them on behalf of the woman's husband.

The woman ran from the scene screaming, her mouth covered in blood, but ultimately accompanied her man (no, the other one) to the hospital, where he was treated but probably not fully repaired.

Via Metro.

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China's Last Eunuch

Colleen Kane — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:30:00 GMT

Sun Yaoting, the last livijng euneuch in China, was living history when he died in 1996. Thirteen years later, his biography is finally coming out, and it reveals things like the sex lives of eunuchs and their emperor, the castrations performed at home, and the resulting incontinence.

Sun cried to his amateur biogapher only when recalling his castration and the time when the pickled remains were later thrown away. He became a eunuch to gain acces to the emperor's Frobidden City, in hopes of avenging stolen property and the buring of their home by a landlord. The description of Sun's home castration is not for the faint of heart or stomach.

His desperate father performed the castration on the bed of their mud-walled home, with no anesthetic and only oil-soaked paper as a bandage. A goose quill was inserted in Sun's urethra to prevent it getting blocked as the wound healed.

OK, that's enough about that. It took him two months to be able to leave his bed, when he discovered the emporer he intended to serve had abdicated.

HIs biographer told Reuters, "He never became rich, he never became powerful, but he became very rich in experience and secrets."

So depressed now.

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Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 14:08:00 GMT

How does a man "accidentally" castrate himself and flush his own penis down the toilet?

Robin Quivers has some diet tips for you that sound similar to everything else you've heard, except they worked for her.

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Joe Satriani won't have his goons stalk Coldplay at the Grammy's.

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Cringeworthy Story of the Day: Inmate Tries to Cut Off His Own Penis With....

Emily Farris — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 18:09:00 GMT

A convicted murderer in Santa Ana insists that he is "a good person who made some really bad choices." In addition to murdering a Newport Beach couple in order to steal their yacht and slashing another man in a "murder-for-money" scheme, Skylar Deleon tried to cut off his own penis while in prison. You might be thinking, 'but prisoners can't have knives or scissors.' And you're right.

In 2007 a locked-up Deleon tried to cut off his own penis with a razor because he believes "it doesn't belong there."

"As far back as I can remember, I always knew something was not quite right," Deleon said. "It's kind of weird, I mean I like girls, but I also always felt like a girl."

While the story didn't state what kind of razor he used, it pains us to be realistic enough to believe it was probably a single-blade disposable razor, which—to the best of our knowledge/Google searching—is the standard shaving device for inmates.

Deleon probably could have dug a hole to China in the time it would have taken to remove his own penis with a Bic razor, but luckily other inmates alerted deputies who rushed his cell and, uh, nipped the operation in the bud.

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Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 21:31:00 GMT

We're wrapping up early today so we can stay glued to the TV. Check out our election thread here.

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How the hell did this end up in a kid's Halloween candy bag?

When their children returned from Halloween trick-or-treating, a couple found suspected methamphetamine and $85 in cash among their 7-year-old son's Snickers bars and Skittles. Lars and Shelly Brosdahl called police, who confirmed that the substance was methamphetamine, worth up to $200 on the street. [AP/Yahoo]

An enraged husband and his two brothers got a drunk and cut off his dick as revenge for a supposed sex act committed with the enraged man's wife.

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While You Were Sleeping: The Naked Mannequin Orgy

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 14:31:00 GMT

You'll be relieved to learn that this post has nothing to do with the you-know-what that's happening today...

This is the creepiest and coolest Halloween prank we've seen this year

A woman is charged with murder after stabbing her boyfriend with a pair of scissors after the argued over a slice of pizza.

It's scary and insane enough that this guy murdered his girlfriend. But then to cut off his own dick and leave it with her body? Wow. We have nothing to say about that.

A man is selling his wife through an in a classified section intended for vehicle sales, complete with the usual punny ad. The news here? Even though she's 25, he has had to drastically reduce the asking price.

A supposed burglar was found in a store's window display bed getting it on... with a bunch of mannequins.

A naked, masked man holding a gun and waving the American flag on an overpass caused a California freeway to be shut down for hours during yesterday morning's rush hour. And how come we're hearing about this the next day?!

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Penis Eating Fish Plague Australian Harbor

Brian Fairbanks — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 17:25:00 GMT

How's this for a lead: "An Australian immigrant with a penis fetish is terrorising the Waitemata Harbour."

Har har, since it's rather misleading...

The story is about a student named Jeremy Barker who is studying the barnacle as part of his master's program. He says that, in the course of his research in the harbor, he's discovered multiple oysters with barnacle penises in their stomachs.

AUT University student Jeremy Barker says the unusual looking fish targets the barnacle’s phallic appendages.

And he wants to know why.

"We have found a large number of penises inside their stomachs," he says.

"It’s not killing the barnacles but it will stop the next generation being produced."

We're 100% supportive of science but, Jeremy, we'd rather you didn't find out why the fish are targeting dicks. We already have enough nightmares about castration thanks to that one ex-girlfriend...

Read the full story here, via Stuff.co.nz

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