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Tampon Ad Is Australia's Most-Complained About of 2008

Brian Fairbanks — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 15:51:00 GMT

Idiots everywhere raved about it: "I think the beaver ad is fantastic! i couldn't stop laughing when i saw the ad -good on you guys!!!!!" "This was cheeky and effective. Well done!" "Congratulations! What a fantastic advertising campaign!" Uh, yeah... because people write to companies they hardly know and applaud their advertising department, suuure.

So, it should come as no surprise that Kimberly-Clark testimonials on behalf of their "Beaver" ad campaign are obvious fakes... and certainly not after you see the ad, rated as the year's #1 Most Complained About Commercial, which came close to being yanked in Australia:

Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if people complained because this ad was mind-numbingly obvious and an insult to our intelligence, instead of for offending Puritans with strict mores?

Via YouTube.

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Is The GOP Over Yet? A New Poll Seems To Think So...

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:06:00 GMT

More than six in ten Americans have an unfavorable view of the Grand Old Party, according to a Gallup poll released today.

But that's not even the worst part of the survey, which should have Republicans scrambling faster than the Dems did after getting trounced in 2004...

One thing the party has largely avoided, to much unity and success, is a clear image, set of goals, and ideology. Not so anymore, according to CNN's reading of the Gallup numbers:

As the debate rages within GOP ranks over where to take the party, the poll might offer some guidance.

Most Republicans — 59 percent — want the party to become more conservative, according to the poll. Another 28 percent want it to remain about the same ideologically, while only 12 percent would prefer to see the Republican Party become less conservative.

Independents are split on whether the party should track left or right: 35 percent of independent voters say the GOP should become more conservative, and 35 percent say less conservative.

Not only are independents evenly divided on what it would take to rope them into the fold, the party itself isn't holding it together either: while the country and the newest generation of voters want the country moving to the left on Iraq, gay marriage, healthcare, and so on, Republicans want to-- forgive the expression-- cling to guns and religion. (And making abortion a top issue, which won't go over well with us youth types, either...)

What do you think? Can the GOP bounce back? Will a faltering economy doom Democrats in 2010 and bring back a Republican movement?

Via CNN.

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Oregon Town Re-Elects Mayor, This Time As A Woman

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 16:33:00 GMT

Why are all the interesting Mayors of this country presiding over small towns in Oregon? First, we have the Stripper Mayor, whose downfall we are apparently being blamed for, and now, the Transgendered Mayor.

Stu Ramussen was the Mayor of Silverton, Oregon from 1988 to 1992, having been reelected in 1990. Now, he's back... or, should we say... she's back-- between his first re-election and this latest one, Mayor Stu has become Mayor Carla:

Rasmussen, longtime manager of the local cinema, was also elected mayor in 1988 and 1990, and served four years -- but that was when he was wearing slacks and sport shirts to council meetings. The new Rasmussen -- who got breast implants a few years ago and began calling himself Carla Fong -- wears skirts, lipstick and high heels.

The thing is, Rasmussen's been a fixture in this small former lumber mill town so long, people tend not to pay much attention to what he's wearing.

This means Ramussen is now the first transgender Mayor in the history of the United States and should serve as a shining example for all. For starters, Mayor Carla is sweeping out the Old Guard:

Rasmussen walks down Silverton's Norman Rockwell-like main street in a plunging purple top revealing impressive cleavage, with a tight black miniskirt, flowing red locks and dagger-like red nails.

He is stopped every few feet by people who want to shake his hand and congratulate him on his victory, in which he took 52% of the vote against 39% for incumbent Mayor Ken Hector in the nonpartisan election.

"To be perfectly candid, the incumbent . . . and I are not bosom buddies -- that was a bad choice in terms," deadpans Rasmussen. "Ken's heart is in the right place, but it's just when his mind's made up, that's it -- facts won't change it.

That's right, Mayor Ramussen/Fong, out with the stubborn, in with the new...

Via the LA Times.

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Last Night In Glorious Photos

Brian Fairbanks — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 20:45:00 GMT

We don't need to write a word of commentary for these photos.

Just sit back and relish sweet, sweet victory...

We'll break our silence to add only one thing: according to WNYC, whose photographer took the taxi photo, the guy jumped on the taxi in the middle of traffic and the drive kept driving for several minutes, honking all the way. New York City's best night ever, hands down.

Some of these via Flickr: Obama family, WNYC, and cell phones.

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Does Obama's Infomercial Belong on the Top 20 List of Campaign Ads?

Emily Farris — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 20:43:00 GMT

Were you one of the 33.5 million Americans who watched Barack Obama's 30-minute infomercial earlier this week?

We missed it, but we must agree with Nerve's Top 20 Campaign Ads of All Time, that Lynden Johnson's "daisy girl" ad was, quite possibly, the most effective campaign ad ever.

But given the rest of the list, do you think Obama should have made the cut?

[The 20 Greatest Political Campaign Ads of All Time]

SNL's Attempt at Barack and Michelle Obama: FAIL

Emily Farris — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 18:37:00 GMT

When we first heard that Maya Rudolph would play Michelle Obama on Saturday Night Live, we got got pretty excited. Not as excited as we did when we knew Sarah Palin would make an appearance (we actually went home to watch the entire episode), but excited enough (we looked it up online).

Unfortunately, Maya Rudolph and Fred Armisen failed to evoke their subjects and while the skit was centered around the Obama campaign playing it safe, it appears the SNL writers were playing it safe—or were just plain lazy— and refused to use anything even remotely negative they had on the Democratic candidate for satire. But hello? Ashley Todd????

A shame after what a good job they've been doing with Sarah Palin. Not that we're not guilty of the same thing here at Scanner.

As usual, Kristen Wiig was funny...

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Crazy McCain's Even Crazier Brother's Crazy 911 Call

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 16:10:00 GMT

First, there was the woman who called 9-1-1 to report that her fast food order was incorrect. Then there was the guy who wanted to complain about his pizza delivery order being slow. And now, the circle is complete.

John McCain's brother, Joe, who recently made the news when he criticized the incompetent numbnuts running McCain-Palin '08, is once more in the spotlight and causing his brother an embarrassing headache.

ABC's Political blog has the alleged transcript:

Operator: 911 state your emergency
Caller: It's not an emergency but do you know why on one side at the damn drawbridge of 95traffic is stopped for 15 minutes and yet traffic's coming the other way?

Operator: Sir, are you calling 911 to complain about traffic? (pause)
Caller: "Fuck you." (caller hangs up)

Stunned, the operator *-69's his ass, leaving a message after a voicemail reveals his identity:

"Hi, this is Joe McCain. I can't take this message now because I'm involved in a very (inaudible) important political project... I hope on Nov. 4th we have elected John."

Not with your help, bub. Meanwhile, Joe figures out they're on to him and calls 911 again, this time to chew out the operator. He may or may not have been connected to the same one:

Caller: Somebody gave me this riot act about the violation of police.
Operator: Did you just call 911 in reference to this?
Caller: Yeah.
Operator: 911 is to be used for emergencies only, not just because you're sitting in traffic.

Zing! Or something like that. Anyway, before you cry "media bias," just let us know if another Joe (Joe Biden, that is) ever makes a guffaw this humiliating and we'll run it...

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Real or Fake? Nude Photos of Obama's Mother

Brian Fairbanks — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 13:08:00 GMT

We're serious-- these could actually be real, although one blogger has an interesting theory that would cancel out that possibility.

Of course, the real question is: why are we seeing these photos now, less than two weeks till Election Day? Could this be some sort of ruse by the Right, now that the Ayers-Socialism-Muslim smear campaign has obviously failed? We found this on a radical right-wing website that claims Islamofascists and left-wingers are one and the same:

It's amazing what there is on the internet. A geneological researcher has emailed me with three pictures of Obama's mother in the nude. That would be of trivial interest except for the setting in which the picures were taken. They were clearly taken in a sophisticated mid-century apartment and my correspondent suggests that the apartment details could be used to identify the photographer. He feels that the photographer is the Communist "Frank" whom Obama mentions as his mentor. That Frank was so intimate with Obama's mother would support the contention that Frank was in fact Obama's father. Various bloggers have pointed out how similar Obama looks to "Frank" and the coverup of Obama's birth certificate is certainly very suspicious...

Yep, these people will say anything to drag Obama through the mud (since they can't win on things like issues, facts, and reality)... and apparently they'll take as fact what "a geneological [sic] researcher" e-mailed them. Groovy.

One Google blogger ("Anna") disagrees:

Sorry, I just don't see it. For one thing Obama's mother always wore her hair long and the woman in the photos had short hair. I think
they are barking up the wrong tree here which is so sad because there are so so many right trees that they have available to them.

Ah... yeah... there's so much else they can hit Obama on... such as... uh... that he once shook hands with a guy at a rally who did time for unpaid parking tickets. Terrorist!

Anyway, back to the photos... here's one. Compare it to the one at the top left and decide for yourself...

Her face kinda looks photoshopped here, so we're going to call bullshit where no one else is. That's a shame, too, because someone needs to call these despicable right-wingers out on this continued nonsense-- guys and dolls, if you have to resort to disgracing somebody's mother in order to win an election, it's time to admit you may been on the wrong side of the aisle...

Here and here are the other pictures. We don't have the heart to post them.

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Obama and McCain Supporters Bring Out the Worst In All of Us

Brian Fairbanks — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 18:08:00 GMT

It seems that Republicans are so desperate to win they'll cheat and Democrats are so scared of any potential cheating that they will try to head off a "stolen" election with a few semi-legal or even illegal tactics of their own...

Here's today's insane roundup... scary, scary stuff... it's enough to make you think Bob Barr might pull it off after all...

1) Absentee voters in upstate New York were mailed ballots listing Barack's last name as "Osama".

The Democratic commissioner apologized profusely, stating that it was merely a typo and that three proofreaders somehow missed it! What other words did they have to check? "Vote" and "fill in one of these bubbles, morons?" Come on, this is just rigoddamneddiculous.

2) FoxNews thinks it has uncovered a case of voter fraud in Ohio. A pair of newlywed Obama supporters have been picking homeless people up and shuttling them to the early-voting polls, where they are allowed to register and vote on the spot, even without proof of residence. Power to the homeless, we say, but Fox disagrees:

Volunteers supporting Barack Obama picked up hundreds of people at homeless shelters, soup kitchens and drug-rehab centers and drove them to a polling place yesterday on the last day that Ohioans could register and vote on the same day, almost no questions asked. [Gasp! You mean they didn't ask them anything beyond "are you registered to vote?" and "okay, can you fill this out?" Oh my God! This may be totally illegal-- letting residents of a state who have lost their homes cast ballots anyway!]

Republicans have argued that the window could lead to widespread voter fraud because officials wouldn't have an opportunity to verify registration information before ballots were cast. [Fox]

3) A man was shot in the face, ostensibly for wearing a racially-charged t-shirt. The shirt? Pro-Obama. The shooter? Reportedly made racist comments at the scene of the shooting. The story here? The shooting was in South London.

If you hear any more evidence of voter fraud (besides the usual federal-law-violating voter purges within 90 days of an election, which is going on as we speak), let us know in the comments section.

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The Foo Fighters Would Like John McCain to Stop Comparing Himself to Kurt Cobain

Emily Farris — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 13:51:00 GMT

Poor GOP—it just can't nail down a campaign song.

John Mellencamp and Jackson Browne both told McCain to stop using their songs, then Heart slapped the Republicans with a cease and desist order for the unauthorized use of "Barracuda" to describe the Pitbull in Lipstick. Now the Foo Fighters would like John McCain to stop comparing himself to Kurt Cobain.

True, they were both beautiful in their twenties, and one is dead and the other will probably be dead in a few years. That is where the similarities end, which is why the Foo Fighters want the candidate to stop using their hit, "My Hero" to pump himself up at rallies... and perhaps in the war room, bathroom and bedroom.

"The saddest thing about this is that `My Hero' was written as a celebration of the common man and his extraordinary potential," the band said in a statement. "To have it appropriated without our knowledge and used in a manner that perverts the original sentiment of the lyric just tarnishes the song."

Well, John. We bet Toby Kieth has a ditty for you. Or maybe Kenny Chesney?

(click the image for a larger, legible view)

[Yahoo!: Foo Fighters tell McCain to stop using song]

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